Have seen though you probably didnt the Vice President ial debate between tim kaine and mike pence, two mildmannered and wellgroomed men selected by Hillary Clinton and donald trump to make you hate them less. [ laughter ] and what a matchup it was. Like watching a glass of whole milk do battle with a jar of lowcalorie mayonnaise. [ laughter ] mike pence, he looks like the kind of guy who gets his hair cut twice a week. Tim kaine, think about this, what if Hillary Clinton wins and something happens to her away from having a president tim. Would that even be allowed . Anyway. It felt a little weird to have the Vice President ial debate after the president its like ending a meal with a garden salad. Its unsatisfying. And of course on top of that, the debate this debate was completely illegitimate because it didnt include all the Vice President ial candidates. Didnt include the libertarian candidate barack, and most glaringly it did not include the lets party party candidate, me. [ cheers and applause ] even though im still polling at 100 . You know, thats okay. Truth is i didnt want to bother with a partial debate because i invited governor pence and senator kaine to meet me here in hollywood for a fullfficial Vice President ial debate. And lets begin it now abc news presents, decision 2016. The Vice President ial debate. Governor mike pence. Senator tim kaine. And Neighborhood Watch leader jimmy kimmel. Please welcome the moderator of tonights debate, guillermo. Guillermo thank you. Welcome to the Vice President debate. Im going to ask the guys some questions and then theyre going to answer for me. Indiana. Mike pence and welcome the democratic candidate, virginia senator tim kaine and welcome the candidate from los angeles lakers, number 48, jimmy kimmel [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you. Guillermo i ask the audience, no applause until the end or they will be arrested. First question. For governor mike pence. Governor mike pence, why does taxes . Jimmy excuse me guillermo shh, dont interrupt. He had 30 seconds. Jimmy okay, but guillermo shh jimmy hes not here, so nobody here guillermo shh jimmy we still have guillermo shh guillermo shh jimmy can i guillermo shh [ bell rings ] jimmy i can talk now . Guillermo no. My next question is for senator tim kaine. Do you think education is for isis . Jimmy is the clock going . Guillermo its not your question. Jimmy im sorry, i didnt know, i didnt understand guillermo shh. Jimmy but guillermo shh. Jimmy i dont think he can hear guillermo shh, shh, shh. Jimmy should i be quiet . Guillermo yes, please. Jimmy a long guillermo shh jimmy ill just wait till the time guillermo shh [ bell rings ] guillermo your time is up. My next question is for jimmy kimmel. Jimmy kimmel, is immigration for everywhere . Jimmy can you repeat the question, please . Guillermo yes. My next question is for jimmy kimmel. Jimmy kimmel, is immigration for everywhere . Jimmy is immigration for everywhere . Okay. Yeah, i would say that i think, yes, immigration is for everywhere. Guillermo you are correct, you win the debate, yay jimmy oh, oh, thank you oh my goodness. Wow. Thank you so much. I won . Guillermo you won jimmy i won, thank you so exciting. I have to say, i didnt know they worked like this, i really didnt. Since im wearing a this is a tia tiara . What this is . Since im wearing this thing on my head, it seems like a good time to give you an update on dancing with the stars. You know, it was elimination night for two unfortunate dancers tonight. Tonight baby face and vanilla ice got the bedazzled would the on dancing with the stars. I told you he made a mistake doing ice ice baby the first week, he should have held that back, that should have been a and baby face, they hit it off, decided to form a musical duo called vanilla face. [ laughter ] so you guys will just be there for the rest of the thing . Guillermo thats right. Jimmy all right. Id take this off but im worried it will pull my whole wig off. Forbes magazine today unveiled have you seen the annual list of the 400 richest americans . Once again, the top spot goes to bill gates. He has 81 billion. Bill gates has been the richest man in america for 23 years. He has been the richest man in america since the premiere of the xfiles, since Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears were in the mickey mouse club. He has the richest man in america since htown topped the charts with knocking the boots. Donald trump is going to be mad. He ranked all the way down the list at number 156. Billion. The good news is sales of the new camouflage colored make America Great again hats are booming. So the cofounders of google came in at ninth and tenth on the forbes 400. Google had a big event in san francisco, unveiled a new phone, this phone comes with a variety of options youve never even imagined before. Pixel is available in three colors. Scriptively named, quite blk. And a limited edition really blue. Jimmy oh, wow, snap that one up quick. Its really blue. The names of those colors, really blue. But google also debuted a new Virtual Reality headset called the daydream view, which that is good its about time people put their phones down for a second and get out and enjoy Virtual Reality for a change. Look like a lot of fun. This is the daydream. We couldnt be more excited about it. Put it on your head and adjust. Its very comfortable. If you look behind me, youll get just a taste of how truly immersive and amazing the 3d is. Oh jimmy wow. You have to be careful, you really do. [ cheers and applause ] maybe we should have one Virtual Reality where Hillary Clinton is president , and one with donald trump where hes president , and then one the rest of us can live in. That would be nice, right . [ laughter ] donald trump was in denver today [ cheers and applause ] hes still talking. In denver, he weighed in on one possible topic of conversation for president ial debate number two on sunday night. Theres been talk you might discuss bill clintons infidelities and in particular Hillary Clintons response to those. Well, ive heard that, and everybodys hearing it but me. You know, i hope not, to be honest with you. I like to talk policy. I think policys much more important. So i hope i dont discuss that. Jimmy what . [ laughter ] what do you mean you hope . It comes out of your mouth. Its not like shes going to bring it up. You know, ill discuss it with myself and see what i have to say. Hillary clinton was in toledo yesterday where she touted a recent endorsement from lebron zingers. I could not be prouder to have lebron joining our team as we head into the home stretch. Now one thing i know, ill just say it. Because i know its for sure. I hope to be elected president , but i know here in ohio, a lebron will always be the king. [ laughter ] like Hillary Clinton. The way she set that up and closed the deal, calling lebron the king, you cant spell hilarious without hillary and thats why. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] donald trump goes a mile a minute. Sometimes you want to savor his words which is why from time to time we like to slow him down to half speed. We did just that for tonights edition of drunk donald trump. [ tape playing very slowly ] how stupid are we. The world is laughing. Anyway. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy during the first debate with Hillary Clinton, trump was sniffling a lot. Some people insinuated he might be using cocaine, which seems very up likely, but also seems like a good excuse to, instead of slowing him down, to speed him up for our firstever look [ tape playing very fast ] we cant beat isis they wouldnt know what youre talking about one thing we can do we can go on television to announce we soon were going after mosul did you see that why do you have to talk you do it you do it. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we have to take a break. When we come back from the break we did something interesting, we went the street, asked people who do you think won the first lady debate, Melania Trump . Wouldnt you know it, a lot of people weighed in on that, in new installment of lie witness news. We will be right back with that. [ cheers and applause ] . [ . Diggy . By spencer ludwig] question, are my teeth yellow . Have you tried the tissue test . Ugh yellow. What do you use . Crest whitestrps. Crest 3d whitestrips whiten 25 times better than a leading whitening toothpaste oh yeah. Crest whitestrips are the way to whiten. Advil liqui gels work so fast youll ask what bad back . What pulled hammy . Advil liqui gels make pain a distant memory nothing works faster stronger or longer what . . . One smart choice leads to the next. The new 2017 ford fusion is here. Its the beauty of a wellmade choice. Welcome back. Billy bob thornton, kristin chenoweth, ryan donahue on the way. Some potentially scandalous information could be hitting the internet. Julian assange, the guy behind wikileaks, says theyre planning to release what he calls significant information related to the election. The last time they released election material it was all the emails that were hacked from the dnc. Now he says theyre planning to for the next ten weeks. I dont know why they would i dont know what theyre waiting for. Julian assange, he loves to tell us hes about to tell us something. [ laughter ] i bet he was a sneaky little tattletale growing up. This is julian assange, interesting look, he looks like your aunt whos always talking about tennis. [ laughter ] he looked like a yoga teacher who tries to sell you on the power of crystals. He looks like your mothers i have a couple more. [ laughter ] he looks like the woman outside whole foods trying to get you to sign a petition for amnesty international. [ applause ] ill stop there. As you know, tonight was the Vice President ial debate. It was on all the Major Networks and cable news channels. Why, i dont know. To me, one channel seemed sufficient. These debates are important and with that comes pressure to appear to be informed. This afternoon we went out on the street, w they thought of the first lady debate between Melania Trump and bill clinton. Obviously there was no first lady debate, although it would be pretty great if there was. Theres never been a first lady debate and bill clinton is not a lady. But if you think that stopped people giving their opinions of it, guess again. Heres the first lady debate edition of lie witness news. How do you think Melania Trump did during the first lady well i think for her first time under the circumstances, you know, she did okay as far as presentation. But as far as the topics are concerned, again, i dont think she was smooth enough. With presenting them. Where were you when you saw it last night . At home. Who were you with . There were a few people. We kind of laughed. How do you think melania seemed . Underprepared . A little bit. Just a little she wasnt she wasnt as informed as like everybody else. Bill clintons been in the office so many times, so he knows how to prepare, presentation, everything. How do you think bill clinton did sitting in that hot seat as the first man in that job . Bill is one of the best speakers of alltime. He knocked it out of the park like hes done his entire career. Uhhuh. Do you think he held his own against melania . Yeah. Thats an understatement i would say. Who do you think won the debate last night, bill or who do you think won the first lady debate last night . Well first man. Bill, of course. Because hes a cordial gentleman, he goes out of his way. I just believe melania probably major rised and didnt know what she was. Did you notice any points it seemed melania was plagiarizing Michelle Obamas performance during her first lady debate this. Honestly im not 100 on the particulars. I more follow the format. What do you think melania night when she said, my job is to stand by my husband, my amaze husband barack, and my daughter, sasha and malia. Do you think that was accidental plagiari plagiarism . I think it was accidental majorism but shes a foreign lady, she needs to still learn more of our language. What was going through your bind when you heard that . I was literally like unease, how do you think lester holts wife leslie did as the moderator . I thought she did a fine job like lester did the week before. Its hard, especially with lester, its hard to control trump. And their campaign. But she did a good job, i thought. What did you think of melanias outfit last night . I just thought that it was kind of provocative for a first lady. What were the people around you saying during the debate last night . My sister and i just listened to basically the radio. Who do you think had the better recipe for oatmeal cookies during the first lady debate . Bills sounded pretty good to i me. What was your favorite part of the debate . Its a debate, you cant have a favorite part. Bills being himself, it made it enjoyable. He didnt fake it. He was himself. Just like you . Of course. Youd never fake it . Never. Even though this whole thing is made up . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we have a good show tonight. Ryan donahue is here, Kristen Chenoweth, and be right back with Billy Bob Thornton [ cheers and applause ] . Dicky portions of jimmy when i was one year old, i was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer on my spinal chord. But i spent my whole life fighting back. So you can imagine what i thought when i saw donald trump say. I dont know what i said, ah, i dont remember that reporter he is talking about suffers from a chronic condition i want a president who inspires me, and thats not donald trump. Jimmy tonight on the program, a talented actress and singer too, this is her latest album, its called the art of elegance. Kristin chenoweth is here. Then, a very funny gentleman, a comedian,is name is ryan donahue, hell share jokes. See him live at the comedy connection in providence on october 13th. Tomorrow night, Zach Galifianakis and idina menzel will be with us. And thursday, Martin Lawrence and gary clark jr. Join us then. Our first guest is a multitalented and multitattooed oscarwinning person who drops the bob to play a guy named billy in the new drama goliath. Youre going to indiana, honey. You know who went there . Besides the obvious . Ernie pyle, hoagie carmichael who else . I know you could. Joe butt. Jane pauley went to indiana. She did okay. Whered you go to school . I went to northwestern. Northwestern . What the [ bleep ] are you doing here . Didnt work out. I guess. Jimmy goliath premieres october 14th on amazon. Please say hello to Billy Bob Thornton [ cheers and applause ] . Jimmy thanks for coming. By the way thanks for having me. Jimmy the show is really good. I watched it and i thought, oh, in a way its a burden for me because there are now too many good shows for me to keep up with. And i watch it, there we go, i have another one on my schedule. Coming out next year. [ laughter ] jimmy good, im looking forward to that. How are you doing . Im good. Jimmy is this the first time youve played a billy in a movie . Or a tv show i guess. Or anything. I guess so. I think it is. Its in my contract now. Jimmy is it now . Yeah. From now on i have to be billy in everything. [ laughter ] jimmy it makes it less confusing. It does. Jimmy im distracted by a big piece of confetti hanging behind us. As if its going to attack you or Something Like that. Sorry, im not very professional. You know, this show, ill explain it briefly, you play a lawyer who works out of a hotel room in santa monica, who drinks an awful lot. Right. Jimmy youre doing the show in california. You live here in california. The last show i think, the last show i saw you in was fargo. [ cheers and applause ] that was one of the best tv are you happy to be home in l. A. And able to drive to work every day . Its pretty amazing. As a matter of fact, we shot in santa monica and convenient necessarily quite a bit. Down there. I live like seven minutes from there. Jimmy you shot in that clip we saw, shea jay, which is a tiny little dive bar there in santa monica. Yeah, been there a long time. Jimmy did you take over the whole bar to shoot it . Well, we shot all the exteriors there and the motel but we shot the interior on stage because you had to widen it out a little. The real shea jay is tiny. In order to get the whole crew and the camera and all of that. Jimmy did you duplicate the inside . Oh, yeah, looks just like it. Jimmy that must be very confusing to the drunks that go there at noon on wednesday. Yeah, yeah. Thats true. Yeah, i was actually i think there are a couple of guys that came down when we were shooting werent real happy that we took their joint away from them. Jimmy yeah, its that kind of place for sure. Had you been there before . Oh, yeah. I used to hang out there, yeah. Jimmy right. [ laughter ] yeah, yeah. Back in the day. I used to hang out there. Jimmy how old is your daughter now . Shes 12. Jimmy shes 12. Do you drive her to school and do that kind of regular dad stuff . All the dad stuff. Shes home schooled. Jimmy oh, so you dont have to drive at all. No. Jimmy it would be weird to put her in the car and go around we actually we have the tutor in the car. Just drive around. Jimmy are you her teacher . Gosh, no. Oh, no. Jimmy i didnt know. You dont went that. No, i was i was challenged at school. Jimmy you werent a good student . Not really. Jimmy whose idea was the home schooling . Well, my wife really encouraged it but i was all for it. Because first of all, she doesnt get so many colds. Jimmy thats nice, yes. The other thing is, you know, with the social media and everything, people text and tweet about each other and all that kind of stuff. Its pretty sensitive, sensitive girl. We just wanted to shelter her a little bit. Jimmy and never see any of those people yeah. Yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] jimmy do you learn stuff . I would think maybe youd other kids your age if youre home schooled. Shes really smart. I mean, its scary how smart she is. I was not well, first of all, im severely dyslexic. Jimmy okay. Grew up that way. When i was coming up, they didnt have names and groups for everything. Jimmy right. So i had i guess you might they call it a. D. D. Now, i guess ive got that too. [ laughter ] dyslexic and have ocd which adds to all those problems. So im not exactly the greatest teacher in the world. Jimmy yeah. But i didnt understand like algebra and those kind of thins especially. Jimmy right. Because when you look at algebra, youre adding and i said this to my algebra teacher, who hated me. I dont even know how i passed. They gave me a d to get me out of there, i guess. I was one of the kids who smoked by the incinerator. Jimmy oh, really. I was already not on the jimmy you were a b. A. D. Kid with a. D. D. , yeah. My daughter takes latin and all this stuff. Jimmy forget it. I cant even imagine. Im looking at algebra. And i said to the teacher one day, i said, look, heres why i when i look at this stuff, its just a bunch of junk. I said, how do you add letters . I dont know how you do that. Its like, to me, thats like if you said, cow plus apple equals cowapple and i dont know what that means. Jimmy it doesnt mean anything. It doesnt mean anything. She said to me, what if you want to be a building engineer . And i said, i promise you, i dont want to be a building engineer. So anyway. In college, didnt work out very well either. I went i did all the things that college guys do. I drank beer and chased girls. Jimmy uhhuh. Shot pool, all that. But i didnt do the school part. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, thats yeah. I kind of did that too. I didnt do the chase girls part i caught them. Jimmy i see. I did the drink beer and watch cable, really, was my college experience. Did you work when you were in school . Did you have a job at that time . In college or before . Jimmy well, before. I assume in college you had something. No. Jimmy no . No, i i work the at every crummy job you can imagine. Jimmy which was the worst one . Well, i worked at a saw mill. I worked at a nursing home, a saw mill, at a grocery store, i worked at a storm door factory, on the asphalt crew for the state highway department, at a machine shop running a drill press. All that stuff. Jimmy wow. Did you get fired from all of those jobs . [ laughter ] why did you have so many . I i was kind of a hippie, you know. Jimmy uhhuh. [ laughter ] i was exactly a hippie. [ laughter ] jimmy no kind of about it. So i had various, you know, chemical refreshments that prevented me from doing my job. All the time. And also by the way working at dangerous places. Yeah, really, a saw mill, a crazy place to be on drugs, yeah. My hair was down to my waist, you know, back in those days. Joke, a saw mill joke. Jimmy what was it . We would say, you know what that is . Thats a saw mill worker ordering five beers. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats a good one. Sharp but good. I got out with all my limbs. Jimmy yeah, look at that, how about that. You have, to youre ocd, you have to have all your fingers. Do . Congratulations on the show. Add it to your list. Its called goliath. It premieres october 14th on amazon. Billy bob thornton, everybody be right back. [ cheers and applause ] . What is that . Man, i dont know. Ask google . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . This is the story of how mr. Bonejangles met his match. Mr. Bonejangles was always looking for something. But he never found it. Until one day. Seven in dog time. Exactly what he didnt know he was looking for fell right in his lap. Was he expecting the perfect toy at an amazing price . No, of course not, hes a dog. But thats the beauty of a store full of surprises. You never know what youre gonna find, but you know youre gonna love it. Marshalls. Your surprise is waiting. . . . Put some distance between you and temptation with meta appetite control. Clinically proven to help reduce hunger between meals. New, from metamucil, the 1 doctor recommended brand. Bill assumed it was a costume party. Assume nothing. Unlike hellmanns regular mayo, kraft Olive Oil Mayo has half the fat and still has great flavor. In colorado, we stand together, but congressman coffman stands with Donald Trump Trump oh, no. Coffman i dont know whether barack obama was born in the United States or not. Coffman and trump are too dangerous for colorado. [ cheers and applause ] guillermo what are you watching . Jimmy what . Guillermo what are you watching . Jimmy the new episode of modern family. Have you seen this one . Guillermo yes, i did. Jimmy you did . Dicky no, i didnt. I was lying jimmy oh. Thank you for being honest about lying. You know, you can now keep up to date on all your favorite shows with hulu so you dont have to system for doing that. Jimmy what . Guillermo i have a better system for doing that. Jimmy you have a better sister for doing that . Guillermo system. Jimmy you have a better system than hulu . Guillermo yes. Jimmy oh. Guillermo my own streaming service jimmy you have your own streaming Service Called gulu . Guillermo yes. Jimmy looks hightech. I have an idea. Operate, okay . Guillermo whatever you say. Jimmy ill call out the name of a show. Well see who can get it up first, okay . Guillermo okay. Jimmy veg. The show is blackish. Go guillermo oh, sitcom. Jimmy i got it. Guillermo . I got it. Guillermo aah jimmy you okay . Guillermo i found the goldfish. Jimmy iaid blackish, not goldfish. Oh, guillermo, wont you ever learn . Dicky see what youve been missing. Hulu. Come tv with us. Jimmy why were we frozen for a second . Well be right back with Kristen Chenoweth but you dont love that you cant get all your favorites all day. But i want mcgriddles too. But now youll love that you can get more all day. Like those mcgriddles. Yeah i do love that so youll have to find Something Else to not love. Like dog strollers. Or Football Players who stress the word the. Tv the glencoebrook state community college. Or inappropriatelytimed political discussions. Cause its as if it didnt even matter. Over and over and. Introducing the new [ clearing throat ] tu the new golf alltrack. K. With 4motion allwheel drive. Soon to be. Everywhere. [ distorted voice ] progressive their competitors rates alongside their direct rate to save you money. But whats really going on . When played backwards at 1 8th speed you can clearly hear. What could that mean . Woman tom . Tom theyre just commercials. Or are they . Youre waking the neighbors. Well, mom, maybe the neighbors need to be woke. I think its actually awoken. No, that doesnt even seem right. No, its awoken. Revealing the truth to help you save. Im beowulf boritt and im a broadway set designer. When i started designing a bronx tale the musical, i came up. With this idea of four towers that were fire escapes. Essentially. Ill build a little model in photoshop and add these. Details in with a pen. I could never do that with a mac. I feel like my job is. To put out there just enough detail to spur the audiences. Imagination to fill in all the blanks. This windows pc is amazing, having all of my tools. Right at my finger tips is incredible. . . . whispers rocket . You never believed in fairytales. Knights in shining armor or happily ever after. But you believed when the right one came alo, youd be ready. Time to shine. Orbit. Was always more than a color. And style, was more than what you wear. Theres more to emma than youd expect, and shes always found her more on ebay. You can find your more on ebay too. Shop fall fashion today. Lips appear to age faster than he now theres chapstick total hydration. Its 100 natural, agedefying formula is clinically proven to provide healthier, more youthful looking lips. Were back. Still to come, comedian ryan donahue. Our next guest is what they call a triple threat. She is an emmy and tony winning actress, singer and arm wrestler. Her latest album is called the art of elegance. Please welcome kristin chenoweth. [ cheers and applause ] . Are. That is the art of elegance right there. To be boiled down to one photograph. Are you elegant in general . No, no. I set myself up for failure. Jimmy you did . My dad called me and said, looked at the cover,nd he said, what are you doing in that photo . It looks a little naughty. And i said, well, thats just great. Thats what i was going for. Jimmy just what you want to hear from your dad, yeah. By the way, its number one on the jazz album charts. Thank you. Jimmy is it a jazz its technically not jazz, though, right . Its got a lot of jazz feel to it even though with the classic standard song. I wanted to put my stamp on it. I listen to linda, ellen, nancy. I wanted to do kristin. Jimmy these are friends of yours . Some of them are still alive. But yeah, theyre my friends that i listened to growing up. Jimmy you were on match game a coupl hosted by alec baldwin. Was that fun . I dont remember. [ laughter ] jimmy really, why . Why dont you remember . Well, first of all, for those people that know me, know i dont drink very much, hardly at all, actually. Im a petite woman and jimmy same here. [ laughter ] you just ruined my vision of you, jimmy, oh. So they give you wine. And apparently jimmy they do . Yes, yes. Jimmy wow. Wine, and i was extremely why were you you perform on broadway. You sing. To answer questions i might not know, might appear dumber than i am. Jimmy i see. And im smart, im smart. So i saw everyone drinking and sarah palin was there jimmy what . She was one of the jimmy she was drinking . She was a guesser. I dont even recall, it seemed to me that she was. Jimmy oh, boy. Or has been for several years. [ laughter ] jimmy she carries a gun everywhere. She does have a gun too. So anyway. Thats a bad combination. But she was [ laughter ] everybody was drinking. Jimmy everybodys drinking. And i thought, just relax, kristin, have some fun. And i had a drink. And the next thing i know i was having two. And the next thing i know mark sheaman, who composed hairspray, he emailed me, id [ laughter ] thats not what i wanted to hear. Jimmy oh, boy. I just had too much wine. We won, apparently. I won. Jimmy thats good. You dont remember . No. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy you performed in the clutch even though you had a couple too many to drink. Yeah, again, its im 411 411, where does it go . Jimmy i dont know where it goes. It goes in, i dont know. Ideally it stays in. There are a couple full thats it. Jimmy you did something that i saw online that i loved a lot. You do this is it a vocal exercise . You didnt like on it instagram. Jimmy oh, well. [ laughter ] i dont know how to do that exactly. I understand. Jimmy actually, its something that the theme to game of thrones, i assume youre a big fan . Is the Pope Catholic . I love it. Jimmy he is indeed. Jimmy i never fast forward. I stand and sing the whole theme song. Youre singing it . Jimmy i make up words depending on whats going on, whatever. Just to annoy my wife. But you do you did this beautiful version and i was wondering if you would do it for us, demonstrate it for us live. [ cheers and applause ] theres a microphone. And wait. I dont know if you want to have this too. This is valerian steel. Valerian root steel. Jimmy oh, look at that, yeah. So okay, ill hold this part. Ready . Jimmy im read. Operatic version. . . . . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy youve got to come to the house next time when the show comes back. Beautifully done. Kristin chenoweth, everybody. This is her album, shes so elegant, the art is elegant. Well be right back with ryan the power of the sun and the wind. It can fuel our lives and our economy, too. Over 10,000 jobs in colorado alone. But when washington gridlock was choking the industry, something had to be done. So, i teamed up ocrats to pass the new laws we needed to help Renewable Energy grow. Protecting the jobs we have and generating more for the future. Im michael bennet, and thats why i approve this message. Jimmy our next guest is a very funny young man who is making his television debut. You can catch his show hush money every monday night at pinks in manhattan. [ cheers and applause ] hello, everyone. Good to see you all. Good to be out. Cant be in the gym 24 7, you know what i mean . Youve got to come and hang. This is cool. I was a huge sports fan growing up. Loved baseball. Collected baseball cards for years. They were my favorite thing. I spent all my money on them. And i was going through my collection recently. And i realized that theyre just pictes [ laughter ] like no one told me i was collecting thousands and thousands of tiny walletsized portraits of athletic men. [ cheers and applause ] with their height and weight written on the back. I keep them in pages of nine so everyone could see nine guys at once. Like these are my asset boys. Seattle boys. Stretching his quads. Put it in the hard case. Its a strange thing to hoard is what im saying. Beneath my mattress so no one can get to them. Thats my favorite man, leave him where he is no one told me its strange or irrelevant because theyre pictures of professional athletes so its normal i guess. If i was collecting polaroids of local softball players . [ laughter ] people would have a problem with that. This is he quit tennis. I thought i was going to make a living selling pictures of guys to other guys but i didnt think it through. I still dont think things through. I want to want to read. [ laughter ] but theres still a huge part of me that just enjoys getting into fruitless arguments with people about stuff i dont know anything about. Its exciting. Excitement happens when you dont know what youre talking about. Like i had an argument with a a rodent or mammal. Turns out rodents are mammals. Like i checked. Like they have been the whole time. And i dont know if you guys know how it feels to be in a fight with someone and then lose together. Hike me against you, then we lose to the truth, right . You cant get that from a book. Thats real life. I think thats valuable. Like i recently realized i like loud sitters. Youll be to happen and someone comes next to you, like yeaaaaah i dont have to look up anymore, like, yeah, thats a war vet ar a veteran of some war, overseize or internal. You can tell how long a life someone has lived by how lould they are when they sit down. Any time someone sits next to me silently theres a small part of me thats my father thats like, but im trying. Im trying to put things together. Make sense of this world. Recently i learned you can tell how young a person is based on which words they choose to abbreviate. Like me, i choose to abbreviate phrases like laugh out loud, rolling on the floor laughing my butt off. But my grandpa chooses to abbreviate words like japanese. Homosexual. Hes just got a a different abbreviating style, because hes older. Thats what that is. They call that style old fashioned. Which is quaint, i think. Like yeah grandma doesnt know any better, even though hes been here longer than all of us. Thats my time, everybody. Thank you so much [ cheers and applause ] jimmy ryan donahue. Id like to thank my guests, matt damon, we ran out of time. This is nightline. Tonight, vice versas. The Vice President ial candidates in a heated debate. But not necessarily against one another. The thought of donald trump as commander in chief scares us to death. Theres a reason why people question the trustworthiness of Hillary Clinton and thats because theyre paying both hopefuls demonstrating their loyalty. You are for you ar drum supremacist. Hes not a polished politician like you and Hillary Clinton did they change voters minds . Expert reaction and Public Opinion tonight. Plus finally free. A man wrongfully convicted of a brutal crime spending 25 years behind bars, exonerated by dna evidence. God is good god is good
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