People caught up in the story of Jesus give a gift of any size I want to send this to you by Dan darling call 866-953-2279 or 86695 favorite you can also give online at Chris Faber a Live dot org Kris Faber Live dot au r g thank you for being a back fence friend you can see how to be a back fence part I set my back fence post out the day to my pals who are our back fence of partners with me b f P's so you can find Chris' favorite Live dot org We're trying to get Ruth on the line here will do that let me tell you who she says and then the way that this starts just arrested me I looked at this and I thought Is that true could that really be the most influential person I want throw their sin to your life into the high end of the blender of your life today listen to this the most influential person in your life is the one you have not forgiven now that a close the book right there I'm going to turn the radio off I don't want to think about that person that I have not forgiven I want to think about happy thoughts you have to keep talking about Christmas Chris that's there's an awful lot that happens in life is an awful lot of forgiveness that you have to mete out they have to give to other people if you are in any kind of relationship I mean if you you look at the New Testament you see this over and over and over again and Ruth Graham this all came starkly clear to her when she went behind prison walls at a place where I've been Louisiana State Prison the penitentiary there I got the t. Shirt it says Louisiana State Penitentiary on the front and then on the back it says a gated community. I had to have it I had to have the the t. Shirt but Ruth went to death row and there was a man named Michael who she met and who sang a song to her and she met somebody later on who's Michael whose life Michael had changed irrevocably I want her to tell you that story today and we might get it but I saw it because I can see that where we're still haven't a struggle getting hold of Ruth today let me ask you this if that is true if the the person who is the most important person the most influential person in your life is the one you have not forgiven who is that for you if I had to say their name it does somebody come to mind immediately when I say that the one you have not forgiven we are call yesterday after the program when Miriam was here the of the empty chair and there was a man who told a story about what had happened to someone in his family and it was pretty clear to me that he was really upset with this life situation with this huge loss in his life and he could what he could not wrap his mind around was that God had a very best allowed this if not caused the death of his family member and he couldn't understand it he could not understand it and he couldn't come to grips that with why in the world would a good God allow this to happen I think there are a lot of people in the in the country who feel kind of the same way. I want talk one to call me right now 877-548-3675 who's the person who comes into your mind when I say that sentence the most influential person in your life is the one you have not forgiven Who is it that you have not forgiven and my guess is going to tell I'm not going to tell you now but I would tell Tricia and Ryan in the break my guess is the 1st person who calls us is going to answer with this person or just just have a guess we're going to see if I'm right who is it in your life that you have not forgiven 877-548-3675 is our number call me right now you don't go into a lot of detail but I might push you a little bit on the fact that 877-548-3675 Who is it in your life you have not forgiven should be an interesting hour this is Chris maybe live under the rain. Here's your chains are $1.08 little thing here I'll just put that $0.08 in your take a penny leave a penny jar there yes I'll just put that $0.08 right. You never know. You know 7 somebody may. Serve higher you yeah mean. I'm sorry I just wanted to make sure your are that but. Your take up. Just in case just someone. Right there well has heard you say that. It's great you want to get over here and out have a good evening sir next please thank you. Matthew 6 says Take care don't do your good deeds publicly to be admired because then you will lose the rewards of your Father in Heaven but when you give a gift to someone and don't shout about it is the hypocrites something to think about from your friends it movie radio. This is very big wire I'm a car guy here to help you understand God's purpose for your life through the eyes of a layman but Wilkins in the Oklahoma put book coach who had the longest unbeaten streak in college history revealed how he trained his players so successfully to tell him exactly what you do then you tell them a 1000 more times and it works like a jar how often you have to express an idea until he comes and bedded in people a lot of the early church had one of those sayings and all top and repeat repeat as the Christ came into the world to save sinners that was the purpose they must to be to repeat things then just as we do now maybe if we said the 1000 times it would be enough truth is we can't say it is not your job is to guide revival outside the walls of your church by movie everyone you're with today closer to Jesus if you want to know how easy that is go to our o t w dot com. This is post maybe live on Moody radio I'm Chris Fay we were alive and we're not real. Real not really great at titles hence the title press favorite line and glad to be here with you as we talk about a huge topic of forgiveness I find that this is one of the 3 or 4 topics that we keep coming back to again and again and again a Ruth Graham has written a book with Cindy Lambert both really good writers. Forgiving my father for giving myself an invitation to the miracle of forgiveness and hard time getting a hold of someone talk with you and the very beginning it's on it's not even a page the page is not numbered and there is a quote by anonymous you know anonymous the most influential person in your life is the one you have not forgiven you think it is true and. Why if that is true. Of asked you to call me and tell me who is the person you you have not been able to forgive be as honest as you can be not to say their name. But just tell me what it is that is the struggle that you're having in forgiving and the key is on the line in Florida I am a key figure out ahead. I. Have been able to get my. Nails of abuse in the with ISIS ship and after I left early left. He basically ruined my career and. Made my life difficult. Even to reach out like love in my enemy but he still is he. He still is this so I. Come in the. So there are layers and layers of that whole thing that you're dealing with the past with his actions and the reason it is so hard to forgive is because of the depth of the the fallout you know relationally with him and then what you said with other family members and career wise and there's probably financial stuff and it all it's there's just layer of it and but here's the thing it sounds like you'd like to get to the point of forgiveness you'd like to get there but you're not there is that true. Ok. Thanks for your honesty there today and x. Husband that's part of Ruth Graham's story as well but it wasn't the main person that she felt like she had to forgive the most influential person in your life is the one you've not forgiven said true let's go to Minnesota Gary's on the line Hey Gary how you doing today. Doing Ok I thank. You glad you call it thanks for being honest with us going. Thank you for taking my call I tried to forgive my mother for her thanks that happened in my life and he reviews that she said I didn't do anything wrong and so. I made the attempt and I don't know where I stand on. Your kind of in in limbo in forgiveness limbo it sounds like you want to forgive your mom but how do you forgive somebody who doesn't own what they've done is what you're saying. My point exactly exactly Gary you're not alone there are a lot of people who are listening right now assuming there are a lot of people listening. Who are in that same thing it's like yes I could forgive if you just admit there's the problem here's the thing I did and ended it you don't have to say you're sorry just admit it it happened and I can move a little step further closer to you everything's Melissa is on the line the question is Who is it that you can't forgive Melissa what's your answer. Hi. Well mom's a little bit different but it is the I have a son and it's the mother of the grandchild and they're no longer together anymore and. She tends to well not tends to she she kind of uses the baby as a as a pawn on our side of the family like yes things aren't going just rot Well then none of us can see her and you know after tried to talk to her and comments that that's not really hurting anyone but the baby in the long run she got to set a families that love her so very much she so blessed our granddaughter that. Just when I think of as I have found a place where like Ok I'm Ok with this more King towards forgiveness it kind of rears its ugly head again in some way or form but she will not own up to anything kind of lot the last caller and it's hard to. It's hard to move past that one when when she's not owning up to anything that she's that she's doing you know when you thought it was to go back into the water I want your lives right really Exactly yes and you know it really annoying Melissa what is the feeling when you you know something happened it doesn't even have to be a big thing either can just be Yant of something that happened and then boom the feeling is there right well not a lot of give I'm just going to give you one small example. Her and my son have their you know visitation schedule all working out and everything thank the Lord and thank the Lord I do have a son there 24 there while she's 22 there's another relatively young you know and they work out their own little visitation schedule and I'm so proud of my son because he wants to be involved and his child slob so he he fought for those rights to get visitation and someone sent for but in the example he's going away this weekend and this is his weekend to have his daughter so myself and my husband aka granny and papa. Asked you know 3 check she will talk on the phone she will talk in person and were very nice you know we were just wondering if if maybe we could have you know the grandbaby for just a couple hours Saturday or Sunday your choice because us our son would have had all that time anyway and she doesn't even answer a text. I add to me it's like I just just cinema Texas says no. You know I'm not comfortable with that or but we get nothing it's come alive she totally an ache no words us and like wants us to disappear and go away you know and some like closures are. Bliss The 1st response is and other people may be thinking this too will maybe she didn't see it and then my thought is you've had experience with this before and that's the yang that makes you think she doesn't want to deal with us and that is the perfect picture now here's here's the question and Melissa thanks for being honest with us here is the question then is is this quote by Anonymous this famous anonymous person is it really true that is the most influential person in your life the one you've not forgiven is the most influential person in in Melissa's life this person who is exacting this thing with the grandchild. Is are they leading your life if you are not able to get to a certain place I'll be honest with you folks I'm in deeper water than I can I can tread water on this subject because this is a I think this is a huge issue for all of us for anybody has any kind of relationship you're constantly asking this question At what point am I going to get to the place where this is not ruling me where I don't if I don't get a response to the text it doesn't just make me want to phone a call in show and talk about it because this is right there on the surface. Chris is in Bloomington Indiana Chris why did you call today you know I was just wondering. Person Well actually if you people over the years good. You know they they do your 1st dozen wrong and you know you I feel like I forgave him but I don't really want to play around those people or whatever anymore. Does that mean that I haven't forgiven them or. You know what yes so you so the as a litmus test then do I if I don't want to be around them does that mean that I haven't forgiven them and I I'm not I'm not Ruth Graham and I don't play I don't play or on the radio but there is this thing called boundaries that you that you put up and I've had enough conversation with Jan Sylvia's to know about these there are ways that you protect yourself from someone who is injurious you know who comes along and you can still love that person care for that person show kindness to that person even forgive that person but say I can't allow you to be so close to my life that you're going to injure me again and again and again I think there is a place for that and place for that kind of boundary and still be on the continuum of forgiveness. But I. Talk with with Ruth here in just a minute Chris thanks for your call today let me take one more because this gets into the deeper some of the deeper issues Lisa Lisa tell me who came to your mind when I said Who have you not forgiven. Your father tell me about. He took me in this went on I was 7. And throughout my life tried this tell me why. And when I did. Get old enough I left home I did seek counseling I never told my mother even on her dying bed but during counseling after 20 years one counsellor made me say suspect my mother knew but did nothing to 'd stop him and I about loss because 'd I wanted to at least feel that one of my parents did love me and then after being married for $33.00 and a half years last year it all remained I had never touched history or held another man stands. And I found out that my husband had been seeing another woman 20 years younger than my so and now I'm 60 years old and I feel like my life is over and I have nothing to show for any of it that I've dreamed p.s. Alone or understanding and I really don't care but it sounds like you are you know you've been injured you were injured so early on and then re injured and even when you came on with us here today there was just this. It's almost like a disconnection you feel disconnected from from your own heart in a way because of the things that have been done to you that if that doesn't sum up how yes will you yes or no I don't feel. All i've been any more I want you to hang on for she's going to get your information we're going to talk with Ruth Graham about what you just said and when I started this segment I said that I think the 1st person on is going to is going to say this person I cannot forgive this person and so far as I've looked at the all of the calls that have come in only one person that has said this person this phantom person and that phantom person is myself so I was at least partly right there is somebody who feels that way I feel I really believe there are so many people who would never eat express it this way even especially as Christians who would not express it I can't forgive myself for this thing but it's true now here she is Ruth Graham Ruth is the author of a number of books daughter of Billy Graham of phone or bowl in this book and the she says she quotes the anonymous the most influential person in your life is the one you've not forgiven Ruth welcome to the program how you doing today I'm doing fine thank you Chris. First of all tell me what you would say to our caller Lisa about what happened to her with her father doll what's happened with her husband and everybody who's called in here has said I want to forgive I just don't know how to do it what would you say Lisa. Lisa has been this really hurt over and over again and I cannot even begin to imagine the kind of hurt that she has experienced but I do know is she can. Pray and ask the Lord to make her willing to be willing because right now she she doesn't want to do it she just can't do it but I think if she could just open the door just a crack for the Holy Spirit to slip in then he will begin to work and I know that she has a heavenly Father who loves her who adores her who think she is the most perfect person and he wants to wrap his arms around her and tell her that she's beautiful and lovely and treasured and terrorist her earthly father let her down horribly. But she has a heavenly Father that will never let her go and will never let her down and has a Holy Spirit who is living in her to help per carry out her right now not even her with but he knows he she needs to forgive but she doesn't have it in her to forgive the Holy Spirit to put it there because she can't do it he can't it's not up to her . And then we get into the whole definition of you know I don't even know if her father is living or not but what what is forgiveness forgiveness is something different than a lot of what a lot of people think because a lot of people think forgiveness is reconciliation and you make it clear in your experience now that that's not exactly what it is right. No forgiveness is different from reconciliation forgiveness is unconditional you can forgive it regardless of the person being a lot of her present or not present whether they want it or not you can forgive them if you've made the choice to forgive but reconciliation depends on the change of The Who are the one who's done the wound and sometimes it's not wise to reconcile in some cases it would be dangerous I have a friend who says you know we go to the zoo and we enjoy the animals but we don't have to get the cage with and sadly it's dangerous to get back into a relationship and it's best to still walk away and that's Ok that's Ok that's necessary and when you have a spiritual obligation to protect your children and yourself that was Chris's call just a little bit ago who was asking if I forgive and if I don't want to have contact with that person have I really forgiven them and so you just address that Ruth Graham is with us today we're going to talk more with her today on Chris Faber live our featured resource for giving my father for giving myself more straight ahead. This is Max McLean How does God's law change us listen to the Bible from 11 tapes and 3. Because of the morgues great. We're not consumed for his compassions never fail there are new every morning great is your faithfulness I say to myself my lord is my portion therefore I will wait for he alone is good to those whose hope is in him to the one who seeks him it is good to wait quietly for the sound of ation on the loan for men are not cast off by the Lord for ever though he brings grief he will show compassion so great is is on failing love. From limitations 3 listen to the Bible it's great for the soul. Be able to hear the Word of God today and every day to hear morning go to Radio Bible dot org. Just who was Jesus Christ Jesus he was a good man a moral teacher Well the Bible teaches in Matthew 26 that Jesus said He was the Christ the Son of bad now to claim that he was just a good man doesn't fit Jesus he was one of the prophet sent from God The Bible teaches in John 14 the Jesus claim to be the only truth and the only way to God to claim he was special isn't enough Jesus was a real it's just a story she says in fact a history proves otherwise the 1st followers of Jesus Christ coolly to dive for their beliefs did they choose to die for a story they made up Jesus lived but he also does it for our sins we all need forgiveness from God So ask him to accept the price already paid through the death of God's son Jesus. I'm sorry News I'm John Scott on Capitol Hill House Intelligence Committee ranking member Devon known Yes' says the time to in the impeachment hearings