Oh, welcome, one and all. Welcome to los angeles, home of the 2028 summer olympic games. [ cheers ] yes. We have the olympics in 2028. Only 11 more years, and then volleyball. I feel like between Climate Change and kim jongun its optimistic to think well still have a los angeles in 2028. But if we do, games on. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i dont know if you saw this, but the slogan for the olympics, they already have a slogan. Its follow the sun, which is great advice if you want people walking directly into the ocean. But im excited about the a lot of people are complaining. Im excited about the olympics being here, but i hope they really go for it. Im going to start a movement to try to let them let snoop dogg light the torch with a big right, white and blue blunt. Have an l. A. Olympics. This is both alarming and amusing. More amusing than alarming, but the white house has a little scandal on their hands. I know, it surprised me, too. Th this. Next time, go farther. For instance, when you pose as Jared Kushner and write to Homeland Security adviser. Dont just invite him to a party, invite him to a surprise Costume Party in the oval office at the end of the day. Put something fun on and get down here right away. I promise. I like this idea, though. They call it spearphishing with a ph. Guillermo, did you get any unusual emails today . Guillermo no, jimmy. Jimmy nothing out of the ordinary . Guillermo oh, yeah, only one. Jimmy there was one . We made some fake email accounts using names of people who work here today and sent them to guillermo. Not one, four by the way. [ laughter ] four. So this one we sent from our special projects producer jay. Hey, g, were finalizing all the hotel rooms for our Upcoming Trip and i was wondering if you wanted a president ial suite that includes a butler. It will cost the show an extra 500 a day. Do you think thats something you need . Do you remember getting that . Guillermo yeah. All right. Why are they so nice . Jimmy guillermo responded seven minutes later, yes, please. God bless you. Thank you so much. I want to bring the family. [ cheers ] and then you know what he wrote back, do you remember . He wrote back, no problem. Also, what brand of tequila do you like in the room . And guillermo said, whatever you want, my friend. With a question mark. Why the question mark after friend . Is it true you went to jays office and hugged him after you got this . Guillermo yeah. Why is he so nice . Jimmy and he had no idea why he was being hugged. He said welcome back. Jimmy then we sent another email from one of our producers. Hi, hope you had a nice hiatus. Hate to have to mention this, but i think it would be nice if you hired a food truck of some sort for the staff to show your appreciation. Everyone loves you but a lot of staffers dont feel you love them back and i really think this could help. Let me know what you think. [ laughter ] and guillermo wrote back. Good idea. Can i talk to you tomorrow about this . Guillermo actually, i went to his office. He told me, come back tomorrow. Im busy. Jimmy now that you know its a joke, are you still going to do the food truck . Guillermo yeah, sure. Jimmy you will . [ applause ] what day are you going to do it on . What day will it be . Guillermo next week. Jimmy what day next week . This will never happen. Im telling you right now. Never. Guillermo it will happen. Jimmy it will. Guillermo i promise. [ applause ] them. But this is from our executive producer jill. I hope you had a lovely hiatus. I saw a friend over the break who works with an energy drink company. Theyre interested in hiring you as their spokesperson. I know we dont usually allow this. Between you and me the drink is pretty gross and unhealthy, but i think it pays well. Is this something i could tell you you may be interested in. You should know in advance it is disgusting. Xoxo, jill. And five minutes later guillermo writes, yes, i am in. Thank you very much. We can talk later on. [ applause ] you are officially qualified to work in the white house now. Guillermo thank you. [ applause ] jimmy they might need you. Things the arent going great for team trump right now. The president s Approval Rating is so low his Cheerleading Team at fox and friends are desperate to find people who are enthusiastic about his administration. Yesterday they had an interview with a 12yearold girl who her qualification was she likes donald trump. Watch this and pay special attention to her father silently mouthing along with everything what is it about donald trump that you like so much . Hes doing an amazing job as president. He is even trying to repeal obamacare right now. Hes doing the best job as a president he could ever do. He has done more good in the past six months than obama has in the past eight years. You were such a hit at cpac, then your candidate won. You went to school and what happened . I asked them, who is our president . Who is our president . And they said trump. Who is our president . Jimmy i think we just found trumps new Communications Director. [ applause ] today tmz caught up with the old Communications Director, the wamoy och t hiofms thef, trump all places, in washington, d. C. Whats your best advice for the next Communications Director coming in . Its not appropriate for me to comment right now, but i appreciate you being here do. What are you going to do next, man . You have a lot of money on the line, you have a big business, you have family. Im working on being the best person i can b ind at an w chief of staff kelly to have an unbelievable opportunity inside the white house. Did you have a chance to say goodbye to the president before you left . Let me ask you this. I appreciate you before you go, entertainment people were talking about dancing with the stars you and spicer and others, is that something you would consider . I dont know how to dance. [ applause ] jimmy i dont know. Well, you know what . That didnt stop mr. T. You dont need to know how to dance to be on dancing with the. How funny would it be if he did dancing with the stars and again got eliminated after a week . [ applause ] its almost too much. Meanwhile, theres a lot of conspiracy theories floating around the internet, but this one is serious. A number of eagleeye twitter users noticed something about the Outback Steakhouse that has people absolutely bloomin in their onions. A new internet theory suggests that Outback Steakhouse is running a satanic cult. It happened when one twitter user noticed that many steakhouses appeared to dot americas cities in the pattern of a fivepointed Star Associated with satanism. In cincinnati, North Carolina and virginia shared similar tweets. Jimmy outback actually felt compel dtod thy en which, of course, they deny it. Thats exactly what satan would do. [ laughter ] [ applause ] [ cheers ] as you may know, from time to time my cousin sal takes a hidden camera and some liberties to a house to mess with unsuspecting delivery people. They come to his house and they end up doing his. This time the victim was a moving company. A brandnew cousin sal home delivery. [ doorbell rings ] whats happening, man . Come on in. How are you doing . All right. Let me take a look at you. Strong looking guy, right . Perfect. I work out. Do you . Yeah. Nice, nice. What do you lift . I lift 80 and 80. So thats about 200 with the bar, yeah, okay. Basically i need you to spot me here. I actually havent lifted in years. I can do it all myself. Dont get me wrong, you know. Yeah, but might get the tan, the weights. Should i enter the bronze age first or the iron age . Diamond. Im with you, buddy. Thats from not working out. Right . Sit down here. Heres what were going to do. I dont need you to help me with the weights. I just need words of so im going to sit here, im going to lift this. Im going to try to get 15. Thats a lot of reps, but considering i havent lifted weights since high school. But here we go. I just need your encouragement, you know . Okay. Like you can do it. Youre the man. All that stuff. Youre the man. Pump me up. Pump me up. [ laughter ] lets hear it. You can do it. Keep going louder. Go out, go ahead. Like you really mean it. Like youre the man. Who is the man . Youre the man. I am the man . Yeah. You can do it. Who is the man . Who is the man . Youre the man. [ laughter ] who is the man . Youre the man. Can i do it, can i do it . Yes, you can do it. Why can i do it . Because youre the man. Yes, thats right. Here we go. Ready . Im the man. Im the man. Youre the man. Here we go. Here goes the man. Youre the man. Im the man you are the man. Tell me im the man. You are the man. You are. Go. Do it. You can do it. One more. Tell me im the man. You are the man. [ laughter ] you got me. Im the man. Thank you, man. Tell jimmy kimmel who is man is. Youre the man. Jimmy thanks. Music from justin moore, the and well be right back with kate beckinsale. [ cheers and applause ] with at t you can get your entertainment right here. T ghri ww,noheyon from at t you can get unlimited data and live tv. The channels you love. Your favorite shows and movies. Making your iphone into more of a. Oh my tv is ringing. Hey. Im in the middle of a. A second iphone from at t . Okay right now when you buy a new iphone 7 from at t youll get a second iphone 7 on us. And power both with unlimited data and live tv. Schick hydro ® vs a lube strip. With seven hydrating gel pools. That give you 40 less friction. Its designed like no other razor ct from irritation. Teto pro schick hydro ® free your skin. ® take 25 off nike ls get the gear. Win the school year. Right now get 25 off select nike shoes, apparel and accessories for the whole family and, everyone gets kohls cash earn it on everything spend it on anything game on kohls. Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea . Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea ah. Arn,inst u sch arnarh us, ea the lincoln summer invitation is on. Its time for a getaway. Now get our best offers of the season. On the agile mkc. On the versatile midsize lincoln mkx. Or go where summer takes you in the exhilarating mkz. The lincoln summer invitation sales event. Ask about complimentary pick up delivery servicing. Right now get zero percent apr plus 1,000 dollars Summer Savings on the lincoln mkx, mkc and mkz jimmy hi there. Welcome back to the show. Tonight the cofounder of reddit, Alexis Ohanian is here. Im going to ask him anything. Then this is his album called kinda dont care. Justin moore from the mercedesbenz stage. Funny thing happened with justin. It does look like he kind of doesnt care, doesnt it . Last year, we wrote a song about a guy who got one of his how do you say testicles caught in an ikea shower stool. It was based on a true story from the news. Justin moore recorded the song ab. Itt and last month it got nominated for an emmy. The song is called the ballad of claus jorstad, aka devil stool. Claus said to himself so mad he could spit im in a different kind of ikea ball pit the stools name should have clued me in testicle pinching grabbing who worked at ikea come up with such a cruel cruel idea you have to be a sadistic soul to make a stool with a nutsized hole jimmy i dont know how that doesnt win an emmy. It should probably win a grammy, too. Justin will be with us later on in the show. Fit guest tonight i superb actress and one of pula. And thats saying a lot. Her new movie the only living boy in new york opens in theaters august 11th. Please say hello to kate beckinsale. [ cheers and applause ] you look fantastic. Thank you very much. Jimmy what a great dress. I have to say, i appreciate it when people really dress is this you dressing up . This is it. This is as far as it goes. Was esnt to is is a grdr geift food. Its sort of a flap. I was excited about your testicle story. Jimmy thank you very much. My friends husbands dad is it was legal to nail your own testicles to a picnic table. It was a long debate. Turns out it is illegal. Jimmy it is illegal . Yes, because of inconvenience to other people unnailing you. Jimmy also youre vandalizing the table by the way, if youre putting a nail through it. Thats good to know in case i travel. You could probably do it here. Just dont do it in london. Jimmy i think you could do it here. You could do it in the south. You could do it in florida. I think somebodys done it there. Jimmy in florida theres no without nailing one of your testicles to a table. Thats a true story . Yes, absolutely. Jimmy i dont know if youre telling the truth or not. This guy is wearing one of these white gs when he made that ruling . Yes, he had to think about it for a long time. Such a hassle, have to Call Emergency Services and take the nail out of the picnic table and whatever happened to the testicles, thats its own problem. Jimmy how is your summer going . Everything good . Its good. My daughters about to go to college. Jimmy thats a big deal. Yeah, im getting ready to become a drug addict. I dont know what to do with the next part of my life. Anyway, you know how they have crushes on like Justin Bieber and things like that . Jimmy yes, yes. Shes got one on you. Jimmy your daughter has how old is your daughter . [ cheers ] obviously, a little bit of a tricky situation because my daughters dad is dating jimmys exgirlfriend. Jimmy that is true. Twisted. A horrible human centipedy vibe. But anyway jimmy wow. You should be pleased. Jimmy i am pleased. Shes out of your league, i just want you to know that. Jimmy even when i was a kid, even when i was in Like High School and college, no one in high school or college had a crush on me. So this is very, very big. Its a big night for you. And shes here. Jimmy oh, she is . Oh, good. Dont embarrass her. [ cheers and applause ] how are you doing . Im sorry. I had nothing to do with this. This is all her this is your mother. Lets not ruin the crush thing. I want to keep that going, okay . Thank you very much. I appreciate that. Im flattered. [ applause ] were both embarrassed. When you were your daughters age, did you have a crush on a middleaged out of shape hairy talk show host . [ laughter ] i do think its a phase, the not conventionally attractive man phase. Not that youre [ laughter ] jimmy sadly, i do know what you mean. Conventionally is a word that doesnt even need to be in the sentence. Acould just be the notti m ph. O. Tro, n i had this i really didnt ha so i veered from into boris becker and then to the men who had no teeth. Jimmy adam ant to boris becker. The tennis player. No one thought he was attractive except me. You had a. A. , then b. B. And what was the name of the singer from the pogues name . I met boris becker. Jimmy what did he say . It had passed, for me. Jimmy for you, yes. At the time, i dont know how old i was. I was young. I was still at that magical thinking phase where i thought i could control things with my mind. I felt that i helped him win wimbledon just by squeezing my uterus. I could feel my fallopian tubes going into a ball. He kept getting a shot and i thought it was me. Jimmy it may have been. He may have sensed that support. But i think a lot of people have that when they watch sports. Like when i was a kid and watch a baseball game, id sit in a certain position and if my team was winning you would nail your testicles to a picnic table. Jimmy thats something else. Im thrown for a loop by the whole thing. Sorry. Jimmy no, not sorry at all. The cofounder of reddit Alexis Ohanian is here. Hes also in love with a tennis im not anymore. I want to be clear. Jimmy i get it. But hes marrying Serena Williams. So in a way you have that in common. Have you been on reddit, have you seen that . Im not great on things like that. I know reddit is the one where sometimes you can find pictures of porn stars with your own face on it. [ laughter ] isnt it . Jimmy i would imaginatthe thats probably there, yes. Ive been sent a few quite distressing photos of myself. Very busy. Not just in a wicker chair naked but involved. You know what i mean. With more than one person. So when i got sent it, i just immediately sent it to my mother with no explanation. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy and how would she react to that . Shes used to shocks. Shes used to shocks. Because she knows about the crush on you and everything. But really offensively i get a text back, oh, darling, oh, dear, oh, no, oh, youve got Hardwood Floors and thats a carpet. Jimmy is that a euphemism . No, what can i possibly cling on to that proves this isnt kate. Not my six africanamerican boyfriends all at once. But the fact that thats a carpet. Jimmy sounds like youre doing a good job of embarrassing both your mother and your daughter simultaneously. Well be back to talk about the movie the only living boy in new york. Kate beckinsale is here. Well be right back. [ applause ] i switched to tmobile, kept my phoneeverything on it oh, they even paid it off wow yeah. Its nicey bad decision doesnt have to be peer trmt enanhat ev ditch verizon. Keep your phone. O switch to americas best unlimited network. The ford summer sales event is in full swing. Its gonna work, i promise you, we can figure this out. Babe. Little help. Hold on, mom. No, wifi. Wifi. Its not a question, its a thing. 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Audi will cover your first months lease payment on select models during the summer of audi sales event. How do you know your mother isvitgit thntat ing supposed t . I mean that people do things all the time without realizing. Might be giving into me without comprehending it. Youre doing something righ