Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170608

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of course, they led the series 2-0 last year and if the cavaliers can find a way to stop durant and curry and kla thompson and draymond een and d a few other guys they can turn this thing around and win this thing. i'm not an expert when it comes to basketball. i'm not a coach or a player. i can't figure out how to get the needle in to pump it. i thihihihink i've figured the cavaliers' problem out. cleveland -- they're only getting two points for a lot of their shots. whereas the warriors are being awarded three points and it's not fair, right, but this is interesting. after game two, a writer for espn.com tweeted that the cavaliers' locker room had a strong reefer aroma to it. which means, the writer's old because no one says reefer anymore. but it also means the unthinkable has happened. someone in the nba and i don't know who but someone is smoking pot. you know what else has been high during the nba finals, the ratings, the highest-rated nba finals series nce 1988 when michael jordan won his last title. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i didn't realize the audience was filled with salespeople from abc. more than 20 million watched game two. the ratings -- they have renewed this series for next year. that's how well the ratings have been doing. we have a great show for you, the wonderful will ferrell is here. [ cheers and applause ] guillermo is here. will has a new movie called "the house." later on he'll attempt to sink a three-point shot out on hollywood boulevard. if he makes that shot, everyone in the studio audience gets a prize. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and if he doesn't, none of you should go see his movie -- it's the only way he'll learn. will ferrell has basketball experience. he played semipro, and seminude, too. here's an interesting basketball/social media statistic. according to researchers at stonybrook university, nba players who stay up late tweeting before the game tend to deliver subpar performances the next day. same goes for presidents, by the way. [ cheers and applause ] according to a study players who are active on twitter bebetween 11:00 p.m. and 7:00 a.m., they we less efficient shooters and scored fewer points. but they did get more ves and why are the researchers -- why are they studying the relationship between tweeting and basketball? someone get to work on chlamydia. speaking of social media, steph curry took some flak for mething that happened in the fourth quarter at the end of the game two. the warriors were up by 12 points. steph was spotted on the sidelines taking what appeared to be a little nap. >> the warriors, you wananto make sure you continue to take care of the basketball. don't allow the cavs team to gain momentum. >> jimmy: maybe he was up late tweeting, i don't know. the truth was he was resting an injury. he's no stranger to criticism. last year during the finals, he released a new shoe that didn't go over well with the internet. that one. these are the kind of sneakers you yell at your dad for wearing. unless he's a nurse.e. then it's okay. this year steph's rolling out a new shoe, this shoe is t tgeted specifically at a group of customers who are too young to complain about how they look. ♪ >> every day, you pay your dues. in sweat. in tears. you won't settle for second place. don't you want a shoe e e e thts as hard as you do. baby shoes, by steph curry. th hard, thin soles to add hop. ananreal leather uppers for maximum cankle support. pull up p in your pull-ups. drain long-distance threes. from any spot on the court. just like the babyface assassin himself. don't be a crawler, be a baller. steph curry's baby shoes, available in white -and that's it. baby shoes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on our game three game night special, will ferrell is here and we'll be right back with guillermo. stick around. 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>> no. >> guillermo: last year, everybody said you hitebron in the balls. i defend y y y y y you. i toldryone he didn't. you kn why, because he doesn't have no -- can you do me a favor and tell him, guillermo isn't ashton kutcher do that thing where you say, you've been punked. tell lebron james, guillermo isn't talking to you. >> i'll tell him. >> guillermo: you promise. >> no. >> guillermo: knock knock. knock knock. >> i'm not here. leave a message. >> guillermo: i got to tell you a joke. knock knock. >> i. >> guillermo: i'm not talking to lebron james. >> i know that. >> guillermo: are you stretching enough? >> i could be stretching a little bit more. >> guillermo: can you tell lebron james i'm not talking to ate it. >> i got to tell him that you're not talking to him. >> guillermo: yeah, i'm not talking to him. >> do you think he is's worried about it. >> guillermo: yeah. he's going to freak out, yeah. i have a segment on the show, it's called in your shoes. so, i want to be in your shoes. is he freaking out that i'm not talking to him? >> yeah, i think on the bus ride over he was pretty quiet. so, i don't know what's going on now. >> guillermo: i'll give him the cold shoulder. if you see him, tell him guillermo isn't talking to you. >> okay. >> guillermo: i don't have a lot of love for him. get it? >> but you're wearing my shoes. ♪ >> guillermo: let me hear how you're going to say it to lebron. i'll be lebron. >> hey, man, what's going on? i just wanted to say i don't think guillermo is speaking to you, so, you know, he told me to pass that on. >> guillermo: that's too bad, i got to play basketball. pretend i'm lebron. what's up, let's go and shower together -- >> guillermo isn't talking to you no more. >> guillermo: why not, man? >> because you haven't spoken to him in seven years. >> guillermo: is lebron disappointed that i'm not talking to him? >> he was a little disappointed. he was hoping that you would go over to him first. >> guillermo: yeah, lebron, i'm still not talking to you, okay there he is. i'm not talking to lebron. and there's nothing he can do about it. he's freaking out. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: lebron, just one question, that's lebron right there. hey, lebron, hey lebron, how are you? lebron, lebron, can you take a selfie with me? lebron, lebron, lebron, lebron, lebron, are we okay? >> man, leave me alone. >> guillermo: lebron, we're not talking to you. we're not talking to you. it's not going to happen. not this time. well, that's it. i didn't talk to lebron. mission accomplished. until next year, bye, adios. i'm out of here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, guillermo. i'm sorry. that's why he's losing, i guess. we'll be right back with will ferrell. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ it's here! it's here! it's here! ahhhhhhh! ♪ boom! open it! should i open it? ahahaaa!! yeaaa! this is worth every penny! ♪ this is so my color ♪ ♪ say hello to the new frozen dunkin' coffee. real dunkin' coffee, blended frozen, creamy smooth. a whole new way to enjoy your favorite coffee. try a small for $1.99. america runs on dunkin'. the course and off. but when it comes to mortgages, he's less confident. fortunately, there's rocket mortgage by quicken loans. apply simply. understand fully. mortgage confidently. ♪ at ikea, we believe that everything you need should be within reach. in an affordable dream kitchen that works as hard as you do. save up to 15% at the ikea kitchen event. at ikea, we believe that everything you need should be within reach. in an affordable dream kitchen that works as hard as you do. save up to 15% at the ikea kitchen event. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello, again. the second half of our nba game night special. i want to mention, we ve a new show later tonight with michael keaton, anthony davis, and music from charlie wilson featuring robin thicke. join us at our regular time. our next guest, one of the world's funniest persons, co-starring alongside amy poehler in "the house." >> do this math. you're 40 years old, you go to jail for 20 years, how old are you when you get out? >> 90. >> we promised alex that we spend time with her before she went to college. then she's living with us until she's 40. >> you don't think i know that? >> jimmy: "the house" opens in theaters june 30th. please welcome will ferrell. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you? >> thank you. thank you. so nice. >> jimmy: very exciting. >> it's the nba finals. >> jimmy: it is the nba final. >> and ratings are up, right, everyone? yeah. [ cheers and applause ] they're really tuned into ratings. >> jimmy: they're part of a bigger group. your ratings are sky high right now, you're now officially and i have the diploma here to prove it, a doctor. an honorary doctor. [ cheers and applause ] that's right. they wrote it out real nice. >> i gave the commencement speech at usc. >> jimmy: your alma mater. [ cheers and applause ] >> and they gave me an honorary doctorate. i'm allowed to perform elective surgery. whenever i want. >> jimmy: i didn't know that. >> ten tonsillectomies. a couple gallbladders, i think, i don't know. i just cut in there. i start tearing things out and then, put some scotch tape. >> jimmy: that's the way you start. >> then get out of dodge. >> jimmy: your speech was great, i watched it online. did you put a lot of thought into that? i assume you did. >> i did, yes. i'm not good at being sincere, yeah. >> jimmy: are you being sincere now? >> now, i'm very sincere. >> jimmy: okay. >> but, as you know, we're used to being funny but i have to sound poignant, earnest and have some words of wisdom. that was the hard part. but i holed myself up in a hotel room. >> jimmy: did you? you got away from the family? >> yeah. i was shooting a movie. >> jimmy: okay, all right. >> i didn't rent the hotel room. >> jimmy: and you wrote the whole thing. >> i wrote the whole thing but the president of the university, a very wonderful gentleman -- >> i have met him. >> nice guy, you're going be wonderful, you're going to be great, don't worry, tell something about when you messed up and you'll be great. so, i just, yeah, i talked about all my failures. >> jimmy: you closed your speech with -- >> hard to believe. >> jimmy: you closed your speech with a song. >> as i was writing the speech, you know, as you know when you're writing anything on the computer, five minutes of writing and then 40 minutes of searching youtube for whatever and i landed on the video from "the bodyguard." whitney houston, kevin costner, the song, "i will always love you." and i thought that's how i'll end my speech. >> jimmy: and that's how you ended your speech. ♪ and i will always love you ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ will always love you >> jimmy: a beautiful voice. >> it went on way too long. >> jimmy: you did almost the whole song. i liked that. >> yeah, people started getting up and leaving. >> jimmy: i know you love sports. you're a big -- originally maybe wanted to be sportscaster when you started out, who's your all-time favorite basketball player? number one. >> number one, magic johnson. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: do you know magic at all? >> he's the basketball player i know the best even though i barely know him. >> jimmy: i see. >> i have had chance encounters. he's a dad at the school our kids go to. >> jimmy: oh, wow. that's what it's like to live in l.a. by the way. magic and will ferrell are the dads. >> at dropoff and pickup. hey, mag, what's up? i played in a charity game, and we were both on the same team. >> jimmy: oh, that's fun. >> i remember, don't take your eyes off magic because as soon as you do, the ball will hit you in the side of the head. sure enough the ball came out of nowhere, i caught it and hit the shot and he pointed back at me and i pointed back at him. [ applause ] >> jimmy: the pointer sisters. >> so, we're best friends. best friends. >> jimmy: all joking aside, that's the best, right? >> it's the best. >> jimmy: when you have some little athletic achievement -- >> with a professional athlete. >> jimmy: with one of your idols. it's the sort of think you just think about. if you're me you play the tape of it over and over again. >> yeah, and you realize life will never be better than that moment'sefinitely bittersweet. i know magic isn't here. >> he's not here? why did you say it like he was here? >> jimmy: i didn't mean to get your hopes up. >> to be clear, magic johnson is not here. >> jimmy: he's not here. >> okay, okay. >> jimmy: but we're going to need you to make a shot anyway. summon some of that magic magic that you had with magic who's not here. when we come back, will ferrell will attempt a celebrity three-point challenge. and we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ the you wish to see.... what i have seen? you will... [ dramatic pause ] when i kill you. [ gasping ] i'm scared. ahhh! [ you saw that, right? you have no idea... what you have unleashed. go! go! go! whoa! that's my face! that's my face! run! [ dramatic music ] the mummy. rated pg-13. experience it in imax. i may be dead, but let me tell myou one last thing.d! get the new ipad pro! it has the powerful a10x fusion chip, so you won't miss me at all! thanks ghost computer. whoops, forgot my power-cord, coming back down. we come into this rld needi♪ others. then we are told it's braver to go it alone. ♪ but there is another way to live. ♪ a way that sees the only is through others.ent- ♪ well you're really gonna hate the new ipad pro because you can do pretty much everything with it, like type... hate it. or take notes... hate it. or even multitask. multi-hate yeah. you can do all the things you hate. great. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, it's time. we're here on hollywood boulevard with will ferrell. will's time has come to say aloha to destiny. if you make a three-point prize everyone in our audience gets a prize. >> dickie: if will makes it, everyone goes home with wireless bluetooth speakers. >> jimmy: and what do they get if he misses? >> dicky: if will misses everyone gets a can of campbell's cream of mushroom soup. >> still pretty good. >> jimmy: will, i can't overemphasize shot is, these people have to eat their prize if you don't make it. >> i dreamed i would make this shot last night. >> jimmy: let's make that dream come true. will ferrell, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] here we go. >> come on, will! >> jimmy: oh, so close. nice shot. >> i did it! >> jimmy: i want to thank will ferrell, his movie the house opens next week. new show late tonight with michael keaton, anthony davis and music from charley wilson with robin thicke. thanks for watching. i'll be waiting right here until then. we'll see you then. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪

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