Jimmy thank you very much. Hello, im jimmy. Im the host of the show. Thank for watching. Thanks to all of you for coming. Thats too much already. Hello again to those of us who joined us earlier in primetime for nba game sheet special, shame on those who didnt. The Cleveland Cavaliers faced off against the Golden State Warriors in a matchup that some are describing as basketball. [ laughter ] not only was it the first game of the nba finals, it is also today the first day of june. June is something that happens almost every year. [ laughter ] for some reason this year it caught a lot of people by surprise. It is thursday, june 1st. Cannot believe it, can you . Do you believe it, its june 1st. Hard to believe its june. Hard town are june is already. Hard to believe today is june first. I cant believe its june. Its hard to believe its june 1st. Its upjune 1st. I cant believe its june. I know, june 1st. I cannot believe its already june 1st. Hard to believe its june already. Its june. It is june. Can you believe its june already . No, its unbelievable. Do you believe it . That were in june . May went by quickly. First day of june, flipping the calendar over, make sure you do go accordingly, nothing worse than starting to write on it may, and darn, its june already. Jimmy that is the worst, its worse than lyme disease. [ cheers and applause ] i get it. How can you really be surprised by june . May is the longest month. It goes on forever. Its like being surprised by the moon. Where the hell did you come from . President trump rang in the first of june with a major announcement. No one loves to announce an announcement more than donald trump. On twitter last night, he wrote, i will be announcing my decision on paris accord thursday at 3 00 p. M. , the white house rose garden, make America Great again. It made sense that he did it from the rose garden. While we still have roses and gard gardens. [ laughter ] the message he did deliver today was one of hope. As in, i hope this terrible prank america decided to play on itself is over soon. In order to fulfill my solemn duty to protect america and its citizens, the United States will withdraw from the Paris Climate Accord [ laughter ] thank you. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy he does have some support. I really hope that when the ice caps melt, it ruins every rug at maralago. I know thats harsh but its just how i feel. By the way it isnt just environmentalists who want us to remain a part of the paris accord. Exxonmobil lobbied to stay in it. Shell wanted us in it. Walmart supported it. Apparently Big Companies ran the numbers, turns out if Climate Change destroys human life on earth, it could be bad for business. [ laughter ] this deal that trump backed out of, this is a deal that was signed by 194 other countries. The only two countries who are not part of the paris accord, besides us, are nick walkiaragu syria. And theyre doing great. I guess its not a surprise, the fact that he pulled out. The president has been very big on pulling out ever since he had donald jr. [ drumroll ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thanks, everybody. Meanwhile, im sure you know about covfefe at this point, right . So just after midnight yesterday the president wrote, despite the constant negative press covfefe. And that was it. And with that puzzling halfsentence, for a brief shining moment, donald trump made twitter great again. [ laughter ] twitter went absolutely berserk. Not since phil collins gave us the word susudio has a nation been so utterly fascinated and perplexed. You know a typo is bad when even melania is like, im pretty sure thats not english, donald. Even after trump deleted the tweet, which he almost never does, sean spicer claimed it was intentional. He said it wasnt a typo or a stroke. He said the president [ laughter ] and a small group of people know what it means. Which is very mysterious and i wanted to get to the bottom of it. I sent our foreign correspondent, thats him. [ cheers and applause ] to a neighborhood here in l. A. That is predominantly russian. You know trumps tight with them. So i sent guillermo to pull this nesting doll apart to see if the code word trump used rang any bells there. Covfefe. Covfefe. No comprende, no kapiche, no understand. Covfefe. I dont understand. Covfefe. I dont understand. What are you speaking about . Covfefe. I have no idea. Covfefe. No, no no covfefe. No speak. Covfefe . No. No covfefe . No covfefe. Covfefe . Covfefe. What is it . Covfefe. Its not russian. Covfefe . No. . Covfefe. Candy. Close to candy . Covfefe . Candy. Covfefe . Yes. We learned that its close to candy. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy all right. Well get to the bottom of it. Very well done, guillermo. As you may know, in addition to my work as talk show host, i also serve as a tv judge. I hear cases along with my trusty bailiff. These are real cases brought by real litigants in Small Claims Court who have agreed to put their legal faith in the always fair and sensible hands of judge james. This is the plaintiff. Amber harrison. She claims the defendant entered into an agreement to promote her line of wigs but did not fulfill his obligation. Shes suing for 3,400. This is the defendant, dante hall. He maintains the plaintiff was disorganized and fell behind schedule, which prohibited him from carrying out his agreedon duties. Its the case of weaving the scene of the crime. Guillermo raise your right hand. What you are about to witness is real. Participants are not actors, theyre actual litigants about it a case pending in civil court. Both parties have agreed to drop their claims to have their case decided here by judge james. Jimmy hi, guillermo. Hi, judge james. The litigants are seated, your honor. Jimmy thank you. All right, we got some goodlooking hair here in this room. Tell the gallery to be seated. Oh, you can sit down now. Judge james . Jimmy yes. I brought you some hair too. Jimmy oh, thank you, i need some hair. All right. There you go. Jimmy oh wow. I love it. Yeah, will you help judge james with his yeah, sure. Jimmy yes, thank you. This is how i put wigs on. Wow, judge james. Jimmy how do i look . Thats a wickiweave exclusive. Jimmy thank you very much. All right, i do feel very british right now. So amber harrison, youre suing dante hall, also known as tatiti, for a total of 3,400. You claim mr. Hall entered into an agreement to engage as Brand Ambassador on behalf of your company, wicked weaves, but did not fulfill his obligation. Yes. Jimmy mr. Hall, do you prefer tatiti . You can call me tatiti. Jimmy you claimed you tried to fulfill your obligation. Thats right. Jimmy but miss harrison was disorganized and behind schedule, so you quit. Is that correct . Yes, sir. Jimmy all right. And may i ask, what is your involvement in this . I am the Brand Ambassador for wicked wigs, im jacqueline, ms. Jacqueline. Jimmy ms. Jacqueline. How about ms. Jacqueline, huh, guillermo . Yeah, good looking, nice. Thank you. Jimmy all right. So tatiti, you are an instagram celebrity . Im a personality. Jimmy so you post individual yoles and then you enter into agreements to promote various products . Exactly. Jimmy so you asked tatiti to wear the wicked weave . Are you wearing a wicked weave right now . I am, i am. Thats crazy, that is so crazy. Ive been asking him for the longest, can you give me back my wig . Can you give me my money, or whatever. He made videos for other peoples products in the wig that he stole. Because if he say he quit because of hostile Work Environment he should have gave the wig back and the money back. Girl, oh my goodness, here you go. Wow. She wanted it back so bad. Wow. She wanted it back so bad. Sweat it out. I want the money now. I want the money now. Jimmy how much is the wig worth . Obviously 3,000. No. This wig is worth 700. Jimmy 700, okay. She got that back. She paid mr. Hall 500 . How did we get to 3,400 . Right. Because it also includes a travel so we had [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy that is a wicked weave. Yeah. I feel like taylor t. Now. You see, baby, you see. Yes, work it, work, work. Jimmy all right. So the days that youre supposed to be working, what were you doing those days . Helping get her shop ready. Jimmy no he wasnt. Yes, i was. I was helping. No he wasnt. I was doing this thing on the end, duct tape things on the wall does that make sense . You think he came to help do anything besides eat and drink stuff . Jimmy i dont know, maybe. I had my own money to do so, keep it cute. You keep it cute. You keep it cute, jackie. Keep it cute over there. Thats all youre good for. Jimmy did you make up keep it cute or is that a thing i dont know about . No, its gay lingo. Jimmy oh, okay. Were learning gay lingo. Keep it cute, now. Jimmy what does that mean exactly . Keep it cute, shes a cute girl, keep it cute and not talk so much. Oh, no. You have instagram followers, what do you have besides instagram followers . My own place, i dont stay with my mom like you do. [ cross talk and shouting ] you have money but you cant pay me back sorry, sorry, sorry. Objection, objection jimmy what are you objecting to . Who are you . Are you here because of me . Im going to tell you again seth jarvis in the building, youre here because of me. I dont know who he is. What . Jimmy okay. Ive heard a lot here. Yeah. Jimmy and i still havent had a chance to see my wig in the mirror so id like to go do that. I and i will be back with my decision on this case. Keep it cute. Jimmy i will. [ cheers and applause ] will judge james leave it to amber . Or will he decide its tatiti time . What will become of the romance between miss jacqueline and this hairy horn dog . Well find out when judge james returns. Jimmy well be back with the thrilling conclusion to judge james, so stick around hey, bud. You need some help . No, im good. Come on, moe. I have to go. vo we always trusted our Subaru Impreza would be there for him someday. Ok. Thats it. vo we just didnt think someday would come so fast. See ya later, moe. vo introducing the Subaru Impreza. The longestlasting vehicle in its class. More than a car, its a subaru. Schick hydro ® technology that transforms. Schick hydro ® protecting mankind, one face at a time. Intrzero alcohol™. Ine® it delivers a whole mouth clean with a less intense taste. So it has the bad breath germkilling power of this. With the lighter feel. Of this. Try listerine® zero alcohol™. Welcome to maxx you. You are whimsical, vibrant, statement making. You stand out in a crowd. And are pulled together. You follow your own lead and show your strength. Always comfortable in your own skin. We see what makes you unique. So we have something for everyone, at a price thats just right for you. Maxx you. Maxx life. T. J. Maxx someday youll let me put my way ycomb up there air til then youre beautiful and i just stare jimmy hi, there. Welcome back to the show. Sarah silverman, jimmy butler, music from post malone is all coming. The new york mets are in the market for a new man in their mascot costume. Last night after a tough loss to the brewers, some fans were heckling mr. Met who responded with a simple silent protest. Here it is. Lets look at that in slow motion. There go mr. Mets chances of hessing new years eve with Anderson Cooper on cnn. [ laughter ] the mets fired him today. Why, i dont know. That might be the most new york thing mr. Met has ever done. [ cheers and applause ] i support him. And if you think about it what did he do wrong . He only has four fingers on his hand. He doesnt even have a middle finger to give. [ cheers and applause ] he got fired for holding up a ring finger. Tough break for mr. Met. I dont know if your job is to run around for three hours in the sun with a giant baseball on your head, you should be allowed to flip somebody off once in a while. Its time for the legally binding conclusion to judge james. This wigmaker says she was well ofly ripped off. This instagram influence is isnt having it. This buy fant barrister is tickled pink. Judge james is about to rule. Lets listen. Jimmy it looks good. Okay. Well, ive reviewed the materials hold on. You can sit down now. Jimmy please sit. Ive heard your testimony. It was all very entertaining. Tatiti, you were paid 500 to make the video . Right. Jimmy you did not make the video . No. Jimmy okay. I am inclined to rule in favor of the plaintiff in the amount of 500. I think ultimately if your goal was to promote wicked weaves, i think weve done it here. Yes, keep it cute, judge jimmy i think that does keep it cute. I want to also thank you for teaching me a new phrase that i will be using in the future. Me too, judge. Jimmy both of us will be use. Hes dancing duty. I rule in favor of the plaintiff in the amount of 500. Thank you. Everyone may leave. Thank you. All right, judge. Judge james rendered his investment. Lets speak wilt the defendant. Wa were you happy, pleased with judge james decision . Im pleased. Im glad she got her money. Are you sad to give up the wig . A little bit. That was my favorite color. Lets bring in the plaintiff. Come on in. Now let me ask, what is this made of . This is human hair. Let me see this. I think you know what i think they would like to see the real you. Come on, let me see. No, no, no . Let me tell you something. You cant never pull a black womans weave off thats a sin. Thats a sin. I won this hair. Oh my god. I got it yeah on the next judge james. Did you ever take money out of my grandfathers Checking Account for the purposes of gambling, specifically, video poker . Are you crazy . You are under oath, you are out of order [ cheers and applause ] jimmy that was my aunt chippy. Thats a good one. One more thing before we covfefe on. Its thursday night which means its time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week, it is this week in unnecessary censorship. [ cheers and applause ] fbi director james comey [ bleep ] by trump will testify before congress. The president of the United States putting out this incoherent tweet at 12 06 in the morning, what the [ bleep ] is going on . I love [ bleep ]. If i could [ bleep ] in the morning and at night i would whats preventing you . I cant do both. Go head to head against the celeb and then [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. You got a rolex on your first date . Yes, he said because of the brown face reminded him of my [ bleep ]. Oh, wait, let me see. It does. Is President Trump really actually sticking his finger in peoples [ bleep ] . I think he is but i think thats the point. Good luck, thank you for joining us. [ bleep ] you. Yes, sir. D . There is a d. Another one bites the [ bleep ]. Good for you. Raise your hand if youve been [ bleep ]ed by a passenger. Really . What the [ bleep ] is going on up there . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy tonight music from post malone. From the Chicago Bulls, jimmy butler is here. Well be right back with sarah silverm silverman dicky portions of linebacker live brought to you by xyzal. [laughter] we all drive. Some just for the fun of it. Im not a customer, but im calling about that credit scorecard. Give it. Sure its free for everyone. Oh well thats nice and checking your score wont hurt your credit. Oh im so proud of you. Well thank you. Free at at discover. Com creditscorecard, even if youre not a customer. There are three stages of wow. Denial. Is this price right . Acceptance. And boooyah wait for it boooyah has three os. Grocery outlet bargain market its buy one, get one free on snickers and twix miniatures. Its buy one, get one free but the way we watch it is not. So, lets do something else. Like what . Like, watch tv wherever. Whats that supposed to mean . It means, anywhere. In a car . Yep. Oof. But not like that. Like this. Oooh, family boat trip yeah. And check this, record as many shows as you want. What . What . I just got chills. I know tv, like, made for us. Finally finally. Yeah. Finally. Wait, thats way cheaper than cable. Jimmy welcome back. Tonight, hes an allstar from the Chicago Bulls. Jimmy butler is with us. Then, his album is called stony, i think because he loves to smoke drugs but i dont want to jump to conclusions, post malone from the mercedesbenz stage tonight. Sunday night, this is hard to follow. Grab a pen. Well obtain air again for game two of the nba finals on sunday. Before the game on the east coast and central time. After the game in the west. And our 10th annual nba game night special with Robert Downey jr. And tom holland from spiderman homecoming. New shows next week in both primetime and late night with gwyneth paltrow, michael keaton, sean diddy combs, mandy moore, jerrod carmichael, mike tyson, will ferrell, owen wilson, zach lavine, Jamal Crawford and we will have music from ryan adams, Charlie Wilson featuring robin thicke, and bebe rexha with lil wayne. Seems like too many guests, right . Call three of them and tell them to stay home. [ laughter ] our first guest is an emmywinning actress and comedian and so many other things we just dont have time to mention. Her funny new standup comedy special Sarah Silverman a speck of dust is on netflix now. Please say hello to Sarah Silverman. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how are you . May i say, i dont know whats going on with you but you smell good now. [ laughter ] you know my smell is my thing. Hey, id like to say to you. Jimmy ohoh, what . Im so happy that everything worked out with billy. Jimmy oh, thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. As my father likes to say, i prayed to the god i dont believe in, and so glad everything worked out and congratulations. Thank you very much. Two kids. Four kids. Jimmy yeah. Two since us. Jimmy yeah. So i guess it really is over. Jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] i figured that was the best way to tell you. I get it. Im happy for you. Jimmy how are you doing . By the way, you had a health scare, a really Serious Health scare, not long ago. Tell us what happened. Because i know this is in your special. But take our audience here through that. Thinking to you to nutshell it. Jimmy was it a real serious thing . Its crazy im alive. I went to the doctor with a sore though the. Who goes to the doctor for a sore throat . Jimmy you. I did. He said, this is life or death, were going in the emergency room. I had an abscess at the top of my windpipe that was either going to grow another millimeter and choke me to death, or explode and kill me that way. J