Packs in the audience. Thats when you know youre having a party, right . You know who you are, right . Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you got the fanny packs and the croakies too, thats a good combination. Where are you from . Brooklyn, new york . There you go, thats right. [ cheers and applause ] thats what were like. Well, welcome to the show. Thank you. We have a lot to get to starting with united airlines. What a week for united airlines. [ audience booing ] did they do something wrong . [ laughter ] that video of the doctor being dragged off the plane and then the Airlines Response to it has turned into an absolute nightmare from a pr standpoint. Even pepsi was like, i wouldnt want to be you guys this week. And not only are they taking a publicity hit, they took an economic hit too. United stock went way down today. The company lost 255 million in market value in one day. [ cheers and applause ] means nothing, really. Which means they could have given each of those four passengers they kicked off the plane their own jet planes. They could have given each a 737 and still come out ahead of the deal. Unfortunately they didnt. The good news is as a result of all this the ceo of united promised not to drag customers off the planes anymore. [ cheers and applause ] unless theyre way overbooked. Christmas, if it gets crazy, they might have to pull somebody off. This united fiasco actually overshadow good news for those who fly. The ftc had decided to withdraw a proposal that would have allowed passengers to make phone calls on their cell phones during a flight. Thank god. Because literally the only good thing about flying is no one could call you and no one around you can make phone calls. Its a no phone zone. [ cheers and applause ] imagine how terrible that would be. If it was up to me i would ban phone calls in all public places. Elevators, stores. [ cheers and applause ] people are so loud. They should really be ashamed of themselves. I was at the supermarket in the produce section. This guy had a headset in. Hes just Walking Around as if his wife was shopping with him. She was not there. He was talking to her. Hes just loudly having a conversation. What kind of onions . They have do you want the red onions . They have red, white, yellow onions. Oh, wait, i think thats a lemon, is that a lemon . I dont know if its an onion or a lemon. I wanted to tear a plastic bag off the roll and put it on his head and suffocate him with it. [ cheers and applause ] what a violent group. Heres the thing. If you think anyone wants to hear you talking on the phone . Tape yourself talking on the phone. And listen back to it. Thats all it will take to learn how horrible you are. Meanwhile, President Trump has been flying a lot lately, privately, of course. Donald trump is on pace to spend more on travel in his first year as president than president obama spent all eight years in office combined. The president s trips to florida every weekend have already cost more than 20 million of taxpayer money. See, this is the guy we need united to drag off the plane. [ audience booing ] you guys missed the joke, lets try this again. [ laughter ] see, this is the guy we need united to drag off the plane [ cheers and applause ] [ drumroll ] wow, you guys are surly. This is like a violent group, its like when you go to the zoo and like the monkeys get excited or something. Trump has also played 16 rounds of golf in his first 80 days, one round every five days. You turn on the tv, a lot of people complaining Donald Trumps off playing golf instead of working. I dont understand that. I want him off playing golf instead of working. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] id like him to join the senior pga tour. Not only is the president racking up major travel expenses, we have to pay to fly his wife melania out there every weekend from new york. Say what you want about donald trump, hes consistent. No matter what he says, no matter what he does, invariably hes tweeted something that contradicts it. Always. Everything. Hes consistently inconsistent. This is what he wrote about obama playing golf in 2011. The habitual vacationer, barack obama, is now in hawaii. This vacation is costing taxpayers 4 million plus, while theres 20 unemployment. Which there wasnt. Why didnt barack obama and his Family Travel separately to Marthas Vineyard . They love to extravagantly spend the taxpayers dime. Well, to be fair, the obamas were involved in a very unusual situation where they lived together in the same house. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] anyway. He tweeted, the president must get congressional approval before attacking syria, big mistake if he does not. And then he attacked syria. Without getting approval from congress. There are dozens of these. Seems like i dont know, seems like the only person not paying attention to Donald Trumps twitter account is donald trump. He should go through and maybe read some of that stuff every once in a while. Meanwhile, his press Secretary Sean Spicer really stepped in it today. During his Daily Briefing sporty spicer as he is known made an absolutely incredible statement about syrian president assad, that if it wasnt so disturbing, would have been hitlarious. Let just say that. He said, even someone as despicable as hitler didnt sink to using chemical weapons, which of course is very wrong. Hitler infamously used zyclon gas to kill millions of innocent people. Watch this and listen closely. If you listen very closely, you can almost hear the voice inside his head. We didnt use chemical weapons in world war ii. You know, you had a you know, someone as despicable as hitler who didnt even sink to the to using chemical weapons. So you have to, if youre oh, no, did i just defend hitler . Hitler . I think i did. Why did i even do that . Why even bring up the holocaust . At press secretary school, the one rule is never defend hitler i think when it comes to sarin gas, he was not using the gas on his own people the same way oh my god of course hitler gassed people i learned that in high school, we all did. What the hell are you doing, sean, you stupid, stupid, stoop i just want to go to cabo. All right, guys. See you back in a little bit. I know were going to have one more. Thank you. Jimmy oh, hey, well. Thats a nice way to kind of make it up. Thank you, sporty spicer. [ applause ] sean spicer might be the only press secretary who needs a press secretary. Heres another nutty thing thats rooted at the white house. This time the bush white house, jenna bush hager, daughter of george w. Bush, filling in for hoda on the today show. Yesterday she filled us in on a heretofore untold bush family secret. Do you want to know the truth . My grandmas missing a toe on each foot. Shes missing a toe. Barbara . Is missing a toe on each foot. Has she ever divulged that . Not that i know of. But she has darling feet. And they look cute. Is it the big one thats missing . I think its the second, im sorry, i shouldnt have said it. But it happened with age. And now youre right with age . She had them before, now she doesnt . Yeah. They disappeared . They say if you dont sleep jimmy what . If you dont sleep enough your toes go away . [ laughter ] sounds like a weird way to convince your kid to take a nap. Grandma said if you dont go to sleep our toes will go away so that was yesterday. And today on today, jenna was asked to elaborate. Anyway, she had a regular set of toes. And then as she aged she had a occurrence called hammer toes where she accidentally they got a little bit close together. Scrunched with bad shoes and things like that, a lot of women get them. She had two removed. Not the hammer toe . The actual toes . The toes were gone. Did she get a discount on pedicures . Dani, im sorry. This is why you dont drink wine on live television. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] barbara bush, god bless her. She wasnt upset about what her granddaughter revealed. In fact, shes parlaying that new bit of information into a music career. Cant touch this hammer toes [ applause ] jimmy dont worry, nobodys going to rye to touch those. We have to take a break. When we come back from the break, we pity the latest fool eliminated from dancing with the stars and i will show you what might be the strangest moment in the history of wheel of fortune so stick around, well be right back. I wanna rock right now im lil yachty and im down, if youre down im not the most lyrical kid known yet im known to keep the party going now look what you made me do you and me baby it takes two bringing new moves to the old school 1, 2, 3 get loose now it takes two to make a thing go right 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 it takes two to make it outta sight say hello to at ts best, unlimited data deal and never pay overages again. So now the whole family can binge, surf, shop, navigate, listen, game, stream and more. All without the hassle of worrying about overages or running out of data. In fact, youll never pay overages again. And remember, its at ts best, unlimited data deal ever. So get at t, get unlimited and get everyone more for less. Dude. Your crunchings scaring the fish. Dude. Theyre just jealous. New kelloggs raisin bran crunch with crunchy clusters and the taste of apples and strawberries. excited i got one jokingly guess were having cereal for dinner. New kelloggs raisin bran crunch apple strawberry sir . You give me that salad and i will pay for your movie and one snack box. Can i keep the walnuts . Yes. But i get to pick your movie. Can i pick the genre . Nope. With the blue cash everyday card you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. Backed by the service and security of american express. Americas favorite cookiechases with no annual fee. Delicious european Chocolate Candy introducing new oreo Chocolate Candy bars look for them wherever you buy Chocolate Candy. Jimmy welcome back to the show. Jimmy welcome back to the show. Richard gere, kelly oxford, music from the shins on the way. First we had, i dont know if you saw, a major elimination on dancing with the stars. Mr. T last night got the bedazzled boot. I know, i was sad about it too. Mr. T said he wanted to honor god through his dance. I have to say that came through. When i saw him dance i was like, oh my god [ laughter ] before t went on his merry way, erin andrews took some time to say a fond goodbye. Standing owe vagts, my friend. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I dont even have a question, i just wanted to say thank you. Thank you. You came to our family and youre leaving us and were all bigger fans than we were, you are a lover. Jimmy what . No, hes not a lover, hes a fighter. [ laughter ] he beat rocky for gods sake. Farewell to mr. T. Now we are down to three celebrities. And six other people pretending to be celebrities. [ laughter ] on dancing with the stars. In other competition show news. This is an early frontrunner for clip of the year from wheel of fortune. Im not sure if this is one of the worst answers in game show history or one of the best, you can decide for yourself. The category here is living things. Its a living thing. Popsicle bike. [ laughter ] jimmy unfortunately the answer was not popsicle bike. It was honeysuckle bush. And a lot of people get those two mixed up, but [ laughter ] i wanted to know more. We tracked that couple down. They live in carrollton, texas. Joining us now on our big cisco screen, the wall of america, welcome melinda and larry gardner. [ cheers and applause ] hi, guys. Hello. Jimmy how are you . Good, how are you . Jimmy thank you for talking to us. Youre dressed the same. Was that intentional . He copied me. Jimmy so first id like to ask, how did you wind up on wheel of fortune in the first place . Oh my goodness. Wheel of fortune is our favorite show. We always watch it or else record it. And one day we heard that the wheel mobile was coming. And so me and a friend went to the wheel mobile. And we actually got called up and solved the puzzle. A couple weeks later i got a an email saying, come to an audition. And they said, if you are married and a grandparent, you can also bring your spouse. And i was so excited because i didnt want to go alone. So at first he was a little hesitant about going. Jimmy why were you hesitant about going on your favorite show . She had been telling me for months after month after month, were going on that show one day, were going on that show one day. I didnt think it was real. Jimmy you get on the show. I assume youre nervous. The letters start popping up. And then out pops the words popsicle bike. Have you ever been on a popsicle bike . [ laughter ] why was that in your head . Well, i was wondering the same thing. [ laughter ] then i thought about it. Pat was on one side, he was on the other, i think i needed to be cooled off. Thats the first thing i thought about, popsicle. I couldnt figure out the second word so i said bike. Jimmy larry, what was going through your head when your wife said popsicle bike . Well, if you had a chance to watch whole show youll see i was mostly the spinner and she was the puzzle solver. Jimmy i see. I was agreeing to spin the puzzle again afterwards spin the wheel. Jimmy even though you answered popsicle bike you still won, how much did you win . [ applause ] yes, yes. We went to the bonus round, yes, it was great. Jimmy we have a special bonus prize for you that i think is going to be very helpful to you going forward. Guillermo, bring in the bonus prize. This is for you, melinda. [ cheers and applause ] weve had our drops Department Working for several days building this. Guillermo had to eat so many popsicles to make this for you. This is a bike made of popsicle sticks. Yes. Jimmy dont ever ride it or it will break immediately. I think this would make a lovely addition to your home, i really do. I think so too. Jimmy thank you guys for talking to us. We appreciate it. Congratulations on winning the show and making wheel of fortune history also. Watch out for splinters when you get on the bike. All right, melinda and larry, everybody. Thank you very much. Tonight on the show music from the shins, kelly oxford is here, be right back with richard gere [ cheers and applause ] goodnessknows invited people who have always wanted to create a jingle, to try. Full disclosure everybody, i am not a good singer. singing goodnessknows, goodnessknows, so much flavor i can feel it in my toes every try is a step to being your best. singing try a little goodness. Welcome to maxx you. You are whimsical, vibrant, statement making. You stand out in a crowd. And are pulled together. You follow your own lead and show your strength. Always comfortable in your own skin. We see what makes you unique. So we have something for everyone, at a price thats just right for you. Maxx you. Maxx life. T. J. Maxx those days they didnt have identity theft. I think i invented identity theft. Im the father of identity theft. Thank you. Busibusinessman 1 yea, yea, yea. You know what iml craving right now . Businessman 1 over speaker guacamole and bacon. Audio tech we got a craving go go go music crashing cravings in the crave van. Jacks gonna crash your crave jack hey guys, try my guacamole and bacon chicken sandwich with all white meat chicken, guacamole and pepperjack cheese. Businessman 1 thanks jack. Wait. Were on the 18th floor. How did you get here . Jack hard work. Jack vo you crave it, we serve it. Try my new guacamole and bacon chicken sandwich. Music crave van jimmy hi there, welcome back to the show. Tonight a very funny tweeter and author too. Her new book is called when you find out the world is against you. Kelly oxford is here. Kellys very funny. A little bit of trivia, kelly was part of the inspiration for mean tweets on the show. Well explain that later. Then later, this is their new album, its called heartworms the shins from the mercedesbenz stage. [ cheers and applause ] you can see the shins live at the 50th annual summer fest starting june 28 in milwaukee, wisconsin. Tomorrow night, armie hammer, judd apatow, john mayer will be here. Thursday, charlize theron, tony goldwyn, music from romeo santos. So please join us then. 27 years ago, mere steps from this building, our first guest made romantic comedy history when he pulled over and picked up Julia Roberts in order to pay her for sex. You know him from many memorable films. His newest is norman the moderate rise and tragic fall of a new york fixer. It opens friday. Please welcome richard gere [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hows life . This is a band. Jimmy yeah, theyre very good. This is a band. Jimmy see that . This is a real band. I like that. Jimmy do you play an instrument . I play guitar. Jimmy you do . Whats he playing . A gibson gold top, very nice. Jimmy is that right . Gibson gold top . Richard gere is correct [ cheers and applause ] thank you very much jimmy do you want to take the 200 or do you want to go on to the next question . I want that bicycle you had out here. Jimmy we can make you one of those. Every one of those popsicles has been licked. Have you always been richard . Were you ever ritchie or rich or anything like that . Perhaps dick . I dont know. In your life . My father, whos 95 years old, he slipped the other day. He was out here visiting my brother who teaches at ucla. And he started calling me dick, dicky, rick, ricky, dick, dick, dick. And i said, dad, no. Its richard. [ laughter ] jimmy when did it become richard . When i was 18. Jimmy 18 years old . I went to the refrigerator, i pulled a beer out, im richard. [ applause ] jimmy i talk to my beer also. We had different types of conversations. Your dad is 95 years old interesting conversations. Theres a lot of medicinal stuff. Jimmy yeah, theres i noticed that too. I noticed that back there. Jimmy theres a haze of pot smoke. You know, it doesnt it doesnt have to be medicinal in california, its legal, completely legal, recreational. [ cheers and applause ] i blame them. Stoned. This entire group. Jimmy this is going to be it occurs to me this is going to be our first easter with legal marijuana. I mean, the jellybeans are in serious danger right now. Youve had such an interesting life. You know so many interesting people. One of the people that you know, we see photos every once in a while of you with the dalai lama, which is would you consider him to be your friend . Yeah. Friend, teacher, for sure. Jimmy friend, teacher, et cetera, et cetera. Now youre going to do something weird. Jimmy not that weird, i dont think i could do anything weirder than what the dalai lama did here. What is the dalai lama doing here . Well, the dalai lama, if you look closely, tibetans have these little noses. Us westerners jimmy i have a goodsized nose. I have a nice big one too. Something you can grab ahold of. Thats what hes doing there. Jimmy why is he doing that . Hes so tickled by your nose . He loves it. He like touches, he likes doing all this stuff. Jimmy really . This could an problem if this was a woman and he decided he liked a different body part. No, no, no, no. Jimmy no, he wouldnt do anything like that. No, no. Jimmy no leader of any would ever do anything like that. Never. Jimmy and in addition to the dalai lama he seems like a funny guy. Is he funny . One on one . Yeah, he your guy was asking me before. Its not that he tells jokes. Hes just he sees humor in everything. He sees humor in himself. Jimmy it seems so unusual. Very lighthearted and he breaks down that expectation that of course everyone would have, you meet the dalai lama, its like meeting the pope, you expect to be healed or transcended or something. Jimmy right. He breaks that down and makes it jimmy instead he grabs your nose. [ laughter ] like an uncle. I have an enlightened nose now. Jimmy speaking of meeting the pope, you met the pope as well, you had a oneonone meeting with the pope. This is a long story, too long for this. We did meet. I offered the father, the papa, a kata, which is a white ceremonial scarf. It was one that the dalai lama had given me, and i was offering it to the pope from his holiness the dalai lama. Jimmy i see, regifting. I was regifting. [ laughter ] it wasnt one of the better ones. No, but he was very sweet with it. He took it like it was a holy relic. In a way it is. Its from a great leader to another one. And a great man. And he folded it up very carefully and gave it to his attendant to put in a special place. Jimmy are those guys in touch . Do they have each others they hang, they hang. Jimmy do they text each other or anything like that . It seems like they should be in touch. They should. And they cant because of the chinese. Jimmy oh, right. Oh, wow. The chinese keep them from palling around, playing golf, whatever they would have done . The chinese are giving the chinese catholics a hard time in china. Jimmy right. And the vatican is negotiating with them. To keep connection with the catholics in china. The dalai lama is being persecuted by the chinese because he has so many followers inside tibet, which was invaded by china in 1950. I got that all out. Jimmy somehow you got in the middle of all this. Its really kind of amazing. Which brings us to norman. Jimmy right. We are going to talk about norman. We have another segment, i want to get into that. You as i mentioned in your introduction shot pretty woman, part of it, right outside our theater. Do you remember that . No, they were asking me about it before. It was at night. I think it was a lotus, the car was a lotus or something. Jimmy yeah, lotus. It must be strange when people remember details of your career more than you do, yeah. No, i dont remember where it was. Jimmy when is the last time you saw that movie yourself . You want to know the truth . When i saw it with her. When we were in previews. Jimmy that was the last time . That was 20 you guys tell me, how long ago was that . 27 years ago . Jimmy i imagine its something you hear about all the time from people. Almost every day . All over the world. That is the one. Jimmy that is the one that people mention all the time. And do you ever have a woman come up to you and say, because of you and your movie, i became a hooker . Anything like that . [ laughter ] every once in a while, yeah. Jimmy that must be a great feeling, i must say. Amazing how he can make these transitions from the dalai lama, the pope. Jimmy we have no game plan going in. Richard gere is here. The movie is called norman. Well be right back. Sometimes you capture the moment. And sometimes, it captures you. Marriott now has 30 brands in over 110 countries. So no matter where you go, you are here. Join or link accounts. Testinhuh . Sting is this thing on . Come on your turn where do pencils go on vacation . Pennsylvania laughter crunchy wheat frosted sweet kelloggs frosted miniwheats. Feed your inner kid don dont trust me, trust philip. Good things come in surprising ways, you never know, right . I mean worse comes to worst, he kicks me out the door. No, worse comes to worst he kicks me out the door. It is my job to keep people like you away, dont you get that . Yes. Please respect my position. Stop. Please. Im sorry, i dont know what else to say. So ill tell my partners that we had a good conversation. Well see what happens, okay . Jimmy that is richard gere in norman. The full title is norman, the moderate rise and tragic fall of a new york fixer. What they didnt do, in the beginning of this, i got a scheme, goit an idea to make some money. Jimmy your character is full of schemes. All schemes. Full of ideas. Would you describe him as a con artist . Not really. He thinks he can make these happen. Jimmy right. And theres no i would say theres no darkness in this guy. Hes kind of the director hates it when i say this, hes kind of a holy fool. I dont know how to describe him. It took me eight months to figure out what to do with him. We had a lot of time before we started shooting. But theres he believes everything he says. Jimmy right. Theyre all lies. Theyre all halftruths and lies. He believes every one of them. And theres nothing in him that would ever hurt anybody. And he finds a way by the end of this film to make everyones dreams come true, including his own. In a bizarre way. Youve seen the film. Jimmy yeah, i did see the movie. I have to say, you did a great job in it. We saw that character youre playing. A little bit of it gives you its much different than characters youve played previously. His instincts are completely different. Jimmy youre almost unattractive. [ laughter ] not there yet, but not there yet. Jimmy what is it like to suddenly look like a regular human being . [ laughter ] i mean, albeit you are in disguise. Its a nightmare. [ laughter ] jimmy i say it must be, as if i dont know, i live it every day. Welcome to our world is what im trying to say. That is more fun for you to play a character like that . This was a gas, this guy. Yeah. Hes a completely unique character. I never not even in a novel, i never read a character as unusual and unique as this guy. So yeah, it was a lot of fun. Jimmy i hope you get to play more characters like that. It was fun to see you doing that. Being in that group. I dont want to give too much of it away. Its really good. Hes a goofball but everyones a goofball in this. Michael sheehans a goofball, everyone is a goofball. Jimmy if you like goofballs this is the one for you jimmy its called norman opens in theaters friday. Be right back with kelly oxford [ cheers and applause ] you might not ever just stand there, looking at it. You may never even sit in the back seat. Yeah, but maybe you should. laughter statake an extra 20 offls easter looks for you and your family. Thats an extra 20 off girls dresses an extra 20 off spring polos for him and an extra 20 off an embroidered dress for you. Plus, youll get kohls cash too. Kohls. The unpredictability of a flaree may weigh on your mind. Thinking about what to avoid, where to go, and how to work around your uc. Thats how i thought it had to be. But then i talked to my doctor about humira, and learned humira can help get and keep uc under control. When certain medications havent worked well enough. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. Serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. Before treatment, get tested for tb. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. Raise your expectations and ask your gastroenterologist if humira may be right for you. With humira, control is possible. Hows this for a tv show . Sous chef. Lawyer by day, prep cook by night. No. Here you go. I got this. I get cash back so its like everythings on sale. With the blue cash everyday card, you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. Backed by the service and security of american express. Indid may imagine april showersy bringing her fashionable, flowers at such a sunny price . Never but thats the beauty of a store full of surprises. You never know what youre gonna find, but you know youre gonna love it. Jimmy still to come, music from the shins. Our next guest is a bestselling author and tweeter with a very funny new book about her mild paranoia. When you find out the world is against you comes out next week. Please welcome kelly oxford. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats a lovely dress you have on there. Thank you. Jimmy did the designer get that for you . Or did you arrange it yourself . I arranged it myself. Valentino lent to it me. Jimmy how down to earth, yet not. Thank you. [ laughter ] thats me in a nutshell. Jimmy how are you doing . Did you meet richard gere . You write about you make pretty woman references a lot. Yeah, i didnt meet richard gere. Jimmy oh. But i did pretty much have my first kiss with him. I kissed my first boy while watching pretty woman. And i was looking at richard gere. While i was kissing mike mcgill. Jimmy wow. So were close. Jimmy how many times have you seen that movie . Oh, so many. It was my grandmothers favorite movie. She called it the whore and the rich guy. [ laughter ] we watched it a lot. Jimmy its like they translated it into russian then translated it back. Shes like, you know the whore and the rich guy . Im like, yeah. Yeah, pretty woman. Jimmy youve seen it more than the rich guy has, pretty remarkable. Yeah, i have. Jimmy this is your second book now. For those who dont know, you i discovered you on twitter. I would read your tweets, and i thought, oh, theyre very funny, i started following you. Then a lot of people started following i think a lot of people started following you before i did. Im taking credit for your success. Its okay, i dont mind. Jimmy you parlayed this into a second book now. Yeah. Jimmy and a big fan base. Is it hard though to write the second book . Is it harder than the first book . No. Jimmy you have plenty of things that happen i moved to los angeles with my family. I have three children who are 15, 13, and 8. So i had a lot of material. Just from moving from canada to l. A. Jimmy how do you even write when you have three children . You work at home . I work at home. But for the books, i go to hotels. This time i went to hotel covel, i went to the beverly wilshire, which is also pretty woman. Jimmy like the whore pretty woman. Like your grandmother referenced. She would really enjoy that. Jimmy you would go into the hotel and write in the hotel . I spent a week at the beverly wilshire. And would just write. Jimmy is it i would find like the mini bar no. Jimmy the spectrovision, do they still have that . When you have three kids at home its nice to be alone. Jimmy it is nice to be alone. Its nice to be alone. And i like to write really late. Like until 3 00 or 4 00 in the morning. You never i cant do that at home, really. Jimmy you cant, because everybodys around. Everybody, ill wake them up, then they have to get up, its not fun. Jimmy when youre writing, you dont go down to the coffee shop . Ill go for one walk just to like get alcohol and come back. Jimmy oh, so this book is written while drunk . A little bit. A little bit. Jimmy a pretty good title, written while drunk, or a subtitle or something. Thats like a celebrity hotel, were there celebrities in the hotel while you were there . There was one night i finished writing about 2 00 or 3 00 in the morning. I was laying down going to sleep finally. And i heard like Acoustic Guitar and somebody being like hey baby love you and i was like, whats going on . There was some serenading going on. And it was awful, it was terrible. And i called the front desk. And i was like, somebody in the pent i was below the penthouse. I said, whoevers in the penthouse is singing at 4 00 in the morning to their lover, im guessing, listening to this, and its awful and you need to stop them. And so they went upstairs and they stopped them. They called me back and said, okay, he apologizes profusely. The next day i went down to the lobby and i found out it was wiz khalifa. [ laughter ] jimmy they told you . Yeah. And he also had like six lambeaus in the driveway all with personalized plates, with variations of wiz or khalifa. He doesnt want to be anonymous at all. Jimmy no, yeah. When youre wiz khalifa, you dont need to be anonymous. No. Jimmy you are maybe when youre playing Acoustic Guitar. Jimmy are you sensitive to criticism in general . Yes. Yeah. Jimmy as i mentioned earlier, mean tweets which has become this big thing. Its the greatest. Jimmy was a result of, we were sitting at my kitchen table. Yeah. Jimmy it was you and me and my wife. Yeah. Jimmy and you i was we were both looking at twitter. And i was like, people are so mean. And you were like, people are so mean then we both started reading them to each other, trying to outdo each other. But kind of getting i was getting more depressed. Jimmy yeah, i know. It was awful. Jimmy i find of funny. Yeah. I was getting more depressed. But molly was dying laughing. She was like, we need to put this on the show. Jimmy then thats how that came to life. Yes, shes so smart. Jimmy kind of crazy that that happened like that. It blew up. Jimmy it seems so obvious. [ applause ] jimmy do you still, when it comes to thats for molly. Thats for molly. Jimmy that was a talk show applause break right there. [ laughter ] are you still still look at that stuff . Have you risen above that . I got a little deeper than that. My first and second book are both essays about my life and things that i do. And on, you know, websites like amazon, barnes noble, there are reviews. And the reviews are much meaner than the the bad reviews are much meaner than 140 characters on twitter. Jimmy really . On amazon . Because im the character in the book. So if they dont like they can say the worst things about me. So i read all the bad reviews. All the people who hate me, people who think im the worst person in the entire universe. What i did to make myself feel better was on amazon, especially, you can click on the persons name and go to their wish list to see the things that they want people to buy them. I would find the worst thing on their wish list, like tiger balm. Metamucil. Selfhelp books. And id purchase them for the people who left the bad reviews for me. Jimmy oh, wow. [ applause ] you see, it makes everybody feel better, yes. It actually made me feel better. Id leave a note, hope you enjoy this more than you enjoyed my book jimmy you realize youre setting yourself up for something terrible. That ship has sailed, this is not going to happen for the second book. Jimmy youre not doing it . Im not doing it anymore, i dont want any more bad reviews. Now that ive outed myself as a gift giver. Jimmy why dont you pick a few reviews that you really like and then go to their wish list . Thats a great idea. Jimmy thank you very much, see . Youre such a good friend, a great friend. Jimmy i really came up with another winner. This is the book, its called when you find out the world is against you and other funny memories about awful moments. Kelly oxford, everybody. Thank you very much, kelly. The book comes out april 18th. Be right back with the shins [ cheers and applause ] dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Grocery outlet Grocery Outlet is the home of wow savings. Wow means you save 50 or more. There are three stages of wow. Denial. Is this price right . Acceptance. And boooyah wait for it. Boooyah has three os. Grocery outlet bargain market save upto 50 80 during our wine sale. Dicky the jimmy kimm dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Jimmy well, i want to thank kelly oxford, richard gere, apologies to matt damon, we did run out of time for him. Nightline is coming up next. First, this is their new album, its called heartworms. Here with the song half a million, the shins i make myself a promise then break it every night im feeling loose and life dont make no sense i use my brains to build a fence round the claim i stake i take the drugs but the drugs wont take i took a pledge to grow up then drank enough to make me throw up on all my dearly disappointed friends im just too lazy to make amends with you anyway thats why the pattern still remains theres half a million things that im supposed to be a shelter in the nighttime a punk running free and if it gets too deep i reach for my guitar and if i try hard i find something i can really drop into and everything that was is just a thing that i can sing cause everything is something next to nothing as crazy as it seems you give it up and you are free another candle to blow out new set of dark thoughts shut out and everybodys got their remedies but nothing works like chemistry so raise a toast no more sipping from the fire hose theres half a million things that im supposed to be a shelter in the nighttime a punk running free and if it gets too deep i reach for my guitar and if i try hard i find something i can really drop into and everything that was is just a thing that i can sing cause everything is something next to nothing as crazy as it seems you give it up and you are free oh, oh, oh, la, la, la oh, oh, oh, la, la, la theres half a million things that youre supposed to be a punk running free and if it gets too deep i reach for my guitar and if you try hard theres half a million things that im supposed to be a shelter in the nighttime a punk running free and if it gets too deep i reach for my guitar and if you try hard theres half a million things that im supposed to be a shelter in the nighttime a punk running free and if it gets too deep i reach for my guitar and if you try hard fear oh dont you feel fear of all the stupid things a man could feel while his freedom rings he squanders the deal what am i blind what took me this long this is a special edition of nightline. Passing the trash. Teachers who cross the line. Tonight he started touching us in improper places. Predatory teachers allegedly grooming and abusing young students. At the beginning it was all about establishing himself as a friend. Some former students now saying their painful claims were ignored. The thing i remember the most was feeling the warmth of his breath next to my face. And accused teachers shuffled to different schools in different states, sometimes even with recommendations. Its the easy way out. Get them out of our school. Let someone else deal with him. The practice known as passing the trash. The brave women speaking out against it. This special edition of nightline will be right back
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