[ cheers and applause ] i appreciate that. i hope you had a great weekend, a good spring break. april fools' day came and went and donald trump is still president. so i guess that's real. [ laughter ] now, i was thinking about doing something to my wife on april fools' day but then i thought, you know what, tricking her into marrying me was more than enough prank. [ laughter ] i guess what i'm trying to say is i'm growing up, i really am. tonight from phoenix, arizona the ncaa college basketball championships. two number one seeds, north carolina versus gonzaga. or gonzaga. i'm not honestly sure which is correct. so i alternate them every time i say it. i'm right at least half of the time. but gonzaga university was founded in 1887. this is interesting. it was founded as a bet to see if students would want a diploma from a school that sounded like it was named after a monkey disease. [ laughter ] turns out they do. actually, i did look it up today because i was curious. gonzaga university is named after an italian saint, a young italian saint, aloysius gonzaga, who looked like a pretty tough dude. [ laughter ] not the guy you want to take on in a pickup game at the park. [ laughter ] he will dress you up. meanwhile, a new season of major league baseball is under way. last weekend -- i went to see a spring training game in arizona last weekend, the cubs played the indians. the cubs have a beautiful spring training facility in mesa, arizona. it really is amazing. and after the game -- this is the real reason i went. after the game i went into the cubs' locker room with rick sutcliffe, theo epstein the general manager, anthony rizzo, and we all just took a long shower together, and it was so nice. [ laughter ] i got really clean. thank you, rick, for -- [ cheers and applause ] spring training is great because it's like halfway between major league and little league. it's very casual. this is from a spring training game between the colorado rockies and san diego padres where both teams really brought their b game. >> uh-oh. we're getting a swarm on the field. everybody's hitting the deck. the bees again? oh, my gosh. i've never seen that. bees on the move apparently. >> jimmy: is that what you're supposed to do when there are bees? [ laughter ] meanwhile, it was opening day in boston today for the red sox. [ cheers ] quarterback tom brady -- tom brady brought his recently recovered super bowl jersey to fenway park with him. the jersey as you probably know was stolen from the patriots' locker room after the super bowl. and both the crowd and patriots tight end rob gronkowski were very excited to see it. [ laughter ] and then they made love. [ applause ] what's funny is they both got injured. brady also threw out the first pitch today but his pal donald trump did not. president trump broke with baseball tradition, declining an invitation from the washington nationals to throw out the ceremonial first pitch. he didn't want to throw the first pitch. he wanted to throw the last pitch. first pitches are for losers. [ laughter ] but they said no. he did, however, throw out the first tweet this morning. at 7:21 a.m. he tweeted "did hillary clinton ever apologize for receiving the answers to the debate? just asking." this is what he's thinking about in the morning. does he know he's not still running for president? [ laughter ] dude, she's not into you. get over it. [ laughter ] the president is very upset right now because he's being -- currently being investigated by every branch of the government. even the post office wants to know who's licking his stamps. [ laughter ] today donald trump sent his son-in-law jared -- not the one from subway. a different jared. [ laughter ] jared kushner, who of course is married to his daughter ivanka, went to iraq today, where he met with the iraqi prime minister. which is strange. because jared kushner's a real estate developer. he's 36 years old. he has no experience dealing with foreign governments. this is a guy who negotiates rent. i mean, this is his job, is to figure out how much it will cost to put a dunkin' donuts on the first floor of an office building. [ laughter ] dennis rodman has more foreign policy experience than jared kushner. [ cheers and applause ] for real. so you have to wonder why the president would send him to a military operation in iraq. and i thought about it. i was driving to work, i was thinking about it this morning, and i came up -- there's only one possible explanation. i think the president might be trying to kill him. [ laughter ] no, a lot of fathers don't get along with their son-in-laws. if you're president, you can throw a black bag over his head and ship him off to iraq. think about it. it makes sense. by the way, you think donald trump's real sons are jealous that jared's over in iraq meeting with the general while they're off shooting koala bears and playing hacky sack with rolls of $50 bills? i mean, they have to be, right? [ laughter ] meanwhile, the white house today released the official portrait of the first lady, melania trump. this is the official portrait. it was -- i think she was photographed on the set of the "wheel of fortune" or something. [ laughter ] very strange. it looks like the jewel box cover for her starbucks cd. [ laughter ] or an ad for kay jewelers. she's the only first lady to use a wind machine in her official portrait. anyway, now there will at least be one melania in the white house. hey, while we're on the subject of robots, i mentioned this a couple weeks ago. [ laughter ] doordash. this is a food delivery service. they're testing out a new method of delivery that uses robots to they're offering it in california and washington, d.c. right now. you use your app. you order food. and a robot in some cases will bring it right to you. it even acts surprised when you answer the door naked. it's an amazing technology. [ laughter ] goes right to your house. i was curious to see how this actually works. so we got in touch with doordash, and they brought the robot. in fact, let's welcome the ceo of doordash and his robot, tony su. tony? [ applause ] that's the -- that's the one from the video. thank you for coming, tony. this is very, very exciting. >> yeah. >> jimmy: for gluttons like myself. i guess first i should ask, how high were you when you guys thought this up? [ laughter ] >> we were pretty levelheaded. >> jimmy: you were? >> doordash is a technology company. so we're always trying the latest and the greatest to make our deliveries faster and more efficient. >> jimmy: what did your employees say when you said guess what, guys, we have a robot that's going to deliver the food. that couldn't have excited them. >> no, we were excited. >> jimmy: you were? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: what about the drivers, though? unless they can get in this they're screwed. >> well, this robot works with our drivers. it carries some of the shorter distance deliveries, the smaller orders. >> jimmy: so in a city like new york you might live three doors down from a restaurant, it brings it right to your place and you can eat. >> that's exactly right. >> jimmy: okay. now, could this like bring your kids to school if you don't want to get up early or something like that? [ laughter ] >> we're working on burritos and pizzas and chicken wings first. but who knows what we can deliver next. >> jimmy: do you warn people that a robot is coming? like do they know -- what's it doing, by the way? what's going on? it's alive. do you warn them? because you could open the door and go like oh, my god, there's a robot here and potentially could scare people, especially in states where marijuana is legal. [ laughter ] >> well, it works just like any other doordash order. in the app it will let you know that a dasher is arriving. and in this case it will let you know that a robot is near you. >> jimmy: that's kind of alarming if you don't know what's happening. so we're going to try this out. and what i would like to -- so i know usually you do it on the app, but we've kind of figured this out in advance. and what we would like -- i would like to order some -- a dozen wings. >> okay. >> jimmy: hot wings. >> let's do it. >> jimmy: hot. does he have a name or anything? >> not yet. but maybe after tonight he will. >> jimmy: can i look inside? >> yeah. absolutely. >> jimmy: i don't want to get bitten or anything. [ laughter ] >> absolutely. >> jimmy: i'll look inside later. so robot, go get us some hot wings. guillermo, you want anything? >> cheese sticks. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he said cheese sticks. okay. good. wings and cheese sticks. go. and all right. so it will theoretically go get it. there it goes. tony, you go with him in case anything terrible happens. thank you very much, tony. we'll see -- we'll send that outside and down the block. [ applause ] and then -- wow. look at this. i mean, the future is here. and it's fat is what it is. [ laughter ] we're going to take a break. when we come back, robots with hot wings. all our dreams are coming true. so stick around. we'll be right back. ♪ >> dicky: abc's "jimmy kimmel live" brought to you by the blue cash everyday card from american express. -cook by night. also, his name is sous. no. sloppy joseph. a middle-aged man who's trying to get his life together, but he can't - he's to sloppy. huhhh - no! here you go. i got this. i get cash back so it's like everything's on sale. with the blue cash everyday card from american express you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. everything's on sale! a home shopping show takes place on a sailboat. that's the one! banana boat dessert on me. look at you being all lactose tolerant. it's more than cash back. it's backed by the service and security of american express. it's more th♪n cash back. hey, bud. you need some help? no, i'm good. come on, moe. i have to go. (vo) we always trusted our subaru impreza would be there for him someday. ok. that's it. (vo) we just didn't think someday would come so fast. see ya later, moe. (vo) introducing the all-new subaru impreza. the longest-lasting vehicle in its class. more than a car, it's a subaru. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. chris evans, amanda peet, and music from mastodon is coming. also we've got some chicken wings coming. let's check in on that robot from doordash which is right down the street from us at hooters right now. it's going to hooters. okay. good. we got the order ready and everything. yeah, just go -- i don't know. they can't hear me out there, can they? okay. that's how it works. you just put it right in there. by the way, this robot has now been touched by more women than the guys who invented it. [ laughter ] [ applause ] all right. and it's coming back. great. what a great time to be alive. you know? in the 1700s they didn't have this, right? no, they didn't have this. hey, here's another new technological development. twitter has a new default profile image. i don't know if you noticed this. but you know how some when somebody doesn't bother to add their own photo to the account they have that egg picture? well, the egg is now history. twitter got rid of it. apparently, they found that the egg had a negative connotation. people associate it with trolls and other agitators. so they decided to change it. the official statement from twitter was they made the move to encourage people to express themselves. has twitter read twitter? [ laughter ] no one's having a problem expressing themselves. but they ditched the egg and they replaced it. this is what they replaced it with, was something with -- they replaced the egg with a faceless stranger lurking behind you in shadows. [ laughter ] and now no one will ever be mean on the internet again. [ laughter ] hey, this is from the -- a zoo in grand rapids, michigan. this is why i have to say in a nutshell this is why my favorite animal is the chimpanzee. >> whoo-hoo! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, grandma. it got grandma. the new "planet of the apes" movie looks awesome. [ laughter ] there's a new cyberthreat that is on the horizon. if you use apple mail this is something you should think about. a group of hackers is demanding $75,000 in ransom money from apple. they claim they have access to 300 million e-mail addresses and they're threatening to wipe those accounts if they're not paid by april 7th, which is friday. now, apple says -- they deny it. but these hackers, they go by the name turkish crime family. which was one of my favorite children's books, by the way. [ laughter ] but they actually say they want $75,000 cash but if not that they would also be willing to accept $100,000 worth of itunes gift cards. [ laughter ] i think i have that in my drawer. so that's not a problem. why they want itunes gift cards i have no idea. if they're technologically savvy enough to hack into apple and erase all the data you'd think they'd be able to figure out how to download the new ed sheeran album for free. [ applause ] but in any event apple how has a deadline on friday to meet the turkish crime family's demands. and if they don't they can -- what's happening? >> greetings, jimmy kimmel. or should i say james. >> jimmy: that is -- that's my full name, yeah. >> we know. we are the turkish crime family. we have access to all of your e-mails. we know everything, and that's going to cost you. >> jimmy: how much is it going to cost me? >> give us $75,000 or we will wipe your inbox clean. >> jimmy: if i don't pay you're going to empty my inbox? >> that's right. we the turkish crime family will purge your entire online correspondence from the very fabric of cyberspace. >> jimmy: oh, wow. okay. yeah, okay. go ahead. [ laughter ] >> what? >> jimmy: you're saying you'll make that little mail icon on my phone go from like 1500 to zero? >> that's right. unless you agree -- >> jimmy: yeah, no, do that. i'm fine with that. [ laughter ] i actually would love that, to be honest with you. >> what about all the e-mails from your family? >> jimmy: oh, delete those for sure. [ laughter ] >> invitations to parties? >> jimmy: delete those first. i don't want those at all. >> think carefully, [email protected]. if your e-mail is wiped clean you may never get the chance to tell amazon you enjoyed that beechwood-scented candle you ordered. ha, ha, ha, ha! >> jimmy: i can live with that. i'm fine with that. i really am. >> damn it! what about you, guillermo? 75,000 or your inbox is toast. >> i like toast. [ laughter ] >> come on! be scared! we're scary! we're the turkish crime family! >> jimmy: yeah, you mentioned that a few times. >> i knew i should have hacked steve harvey. >> jimmy: all right. thank you. a lot of spit. [ applause ] a lot of spit coming out of his mouth. oh, hey, look at this. i didn't even see him. all right. and what do i do? do i touch it or does it open on its own? okay. all right. [ cheers and applause ] wow. look at that. wings. yep. we got the cheese sticks, guillermo. should i send him over with that? here, bring those over to guillermo, will you? wow. look at that. give him a tip, will you, on the way out? thank you. i love you. i'll see you at home. this is great. all right. tonight on the show we have music from mastodon. amanda peet is here. and we'll be right back with chris evans. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by new flonase sensimist allergy relief. learn how to be greater than your allergies with the a.b. family at begreaterflonase.com. and the new 2017 nissan rogue. a car that could help stop--- for you. take on the unexpected. nissan rogue and altima, with available intelligent safety shield technologies. indid may imagine april showersy bringing her fashionable, flowers at such a sunny price? never but that's the beauty of a store full of surprises. you never know what you're gonna find, but you know you're gonna love it. guillermo, what did you do over the break? anything good? >> couple days to big bear. took my son. >> jimmy: did he ski? >> yeah. >> jimmy: guillermo's son is 30. 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(both cars laugh) busibusinessman 1: yea, yea, yea...you know what i'ml craving right now? businessman 1: (over speaker) --guacamole and bacon. audio tech: we got a craving! go go go!!! music: crashing cravings in the crave van. jack's gonna crash your crave! jack: hey guys, try my guacamole and bacon chicken sandwich with all white meat chicken, guacamole and pepperjack cheese. businessman 1: thanks jack.... wait. we're on the 18th floor. how did you get here? jack: hard work. jack vo: you crave it, we serve it. try my new guacamole and bacon chicken sandwich. music: crave van! live-streat the airport.e sport, binge dvr'd shows, while painting your toes. on demand laughs, during long bubble baths. tv on every screen is awesome. the all-new xfinity stream app. all your tv at home. the most on demand, your entire dvr, top networks, and live sports on the go. included with xfinity tv. xfinity the future of awesome. ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. tonight from "brockmire" on ifc amanda peet is here. then, this is their new album. it's called "emperor of sand." mastodon from the mercedes-benz outdoor stage. [ applause ] there are two versions of this album. this is the coloring book version. it comes with a little box -- for real. of colored pencils. in fact, i spent the whole day coloring it in. and this is what it looks like when you're done. [ applause ] i'm very good at coloring. you can see mastodon april 20th at the hollywood palladium. tomorrow night pierce brosnan will be here, jenny slate will join us. and we'll have music from dustin lynch. and later this week, eric stonestreet, riz ahmed, nathalie emmanuel, adam sandler, and music from starley and cold war kids. our first guest tonight is the captain of america. he has a new movie that has nothing to do with any of that. it's called "gifted." it opens in select theaters april 7th and everywhere april 21st. please welcome chris evans. [ cheers and applause ] how are you doing? >> how are you? how are you? >> jimmy: i'm doing well, thank you. >> good, good, good. >> jimmy: are you a guy that -- on april fools' day i thought i should do something. and i thought i'm not going to do anything. do you do anything? >> no, i got away clean with april fools' day. i never can think of anything too elaborate to do to people, and i don't necessarily care to be fooled myself. >> jimmy: do people try to do things to you? >> i've been fooled before. >> jimmy: you have? >> my parents got me good once. >> jimmy: that's fun when parents do things. >> you tell the story so many times you think it's funny. the more you tell it the more you go this is really messed up. when i was 10, and i'm one of four, and my parents sat us down at dinner and told us we were all going to move to london. my father got transferred and we're all going to move. we started bawling. crying at dinner. and they kept it going. the whole dinner. probably for at least an hour. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: like did you go get passport photos? [ laughter ] >> i mean, we came around. [ crying ] okay. we made peace with it. and they just said oh, it's a big joke. >> jimmy: i mean, in a way it's the reason you have kids, so you can torture them like that. [ laughter ] >> did you have a good april fools' day? >> jimmy: every day was april fools' day at my house. my mother used to lie on the ground and pretend to be dead. [ laughter ] until we cried. not quite moving to london. >> that's aggressive. that's really aggressive. it takes commitment. >> jimmy: do you feel like that had any effect on your psyche, good or bad? >> no, no. i mean, my family is pretty loose. we always had a good time. and like i said, when you look back, you're like man, these guys had a good time being parents. >> jimmy: and eventually you'll get your turn and you'll do all that stuff. and somehow the laughter makes all the terror worth it. congratulations because last time i saw you was before the super bowl. i know you love the patriots and you love tom brady. who do you love more, the patriots or tom brady? >> it's tough. it's a tough thing. >> jimmy: because the patriots in and of themselves aren't as handsome as tom brady. >> few are. [ laughter ] it's tough. tom's up there. >> jimmy: he's up there. >> i love the patriots like any sports entity, but tom is a special man. >> jimmy: this is interesting. this is a video -- who shot this video? >> we went to the super bowl and i had a couple boston buddies. and renner. jeremy renner was with us and it was one of renner's buddies who had kind of seen me spike in enthusiasm throughout the game and chose to film the final seconds. i didn't know it was happening. >> jimmy: this is a game where the patriots are down what, 25 points? >> the most emotional game i've ever been a part of. truly any one of you would have been a part of too. i don't care what sport you're into. it's the best game you've ever seen. >> jimmy: the game was unbelievable. unless you're from atlanta. then it was terrible. >> but you know what? i hope if you're a sports fan you can at least appreciate -- >> jimmy: no. not if you're from atlanta. [ laughter ] there's never any appreciation. >> well, i tell you what. i know what it felt like at halftime. and to come back, it was too much. >> jimmy: let's look at this video because i want to ask one thing about it at the end. there you are. really, there is a danger you might fall over that luxury box. maybe the best thing about it is -- [ cheers and applause ] you were flipping out. everybody's flipping out. but the guy who decided to film you does not seem to see any of what's happening on the field. like he missed the end of the game. >> and god bless him because that video means so much to me. >> jimmy: yeah. if they'd lost would you have -- would that video have been released or would that have been buried? >> tell you what. had they lost at the end of the game i witnessed it would have been okay. because like i said, by halftime you saw it, it was over. they were done. to come back the way they did. if they lost it in the end, so be it. the fact they won. >> jimmy: did you go to the party afterwards? >> i did. it was like a patriots after thing. >> jimmy: did you meet tom? did you get to touch him? [ laughter ] because last time you were here you said -- >> i have yet to meet him. he didn't go to the -- he might have been an appearance. but he's tom brady. he had to go rule the world. [ laughter ] i didn't meet tom. and i'm not sure if i want to. it almost has become now like i just want to let him be the thing that i imagine he is. and that's it. that's good enough for me. >> jimmy: look at you. you're positively glowing. [ laughter ] >> i'm like -- why, is he here? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: see, tom could never -- that would never happen to tom. [ laughter ] >> tom makes me so nervous. >> jimmy: we're going to clean you up. we're going to mop you up inside and out. there you go. wow, i've never seen anybody just sweat from their palms before. but chris evans is here. his movie is called "gifted." we'll be right back after this. [ cheers and applause ] on a perfect car, then smash it into a tree. your insurance company raises your rates... maybe you should've done more research on them. for drivers with accident forgiveness, liberty mutual won't raise your rates due to your first accident. liberty mutual insurance. due to your first accident. head right to theentic nearest subway. introducing the italian hero footlong. stacked with genoa salami, mortadella, and spicy capicola. add oil and vinegar and some mediterranean oregano. there you have it. it's our better italian flavor, for a better subway. if you've got a life, you gotta swiffer kids, juicy fruitmmmm with longer-lasting flavor? mmm (zipping) (zipping) (rattling) longer-lasting juicy fruit. so sweet you can't help but chew and chew. ♪ we are not here to observe, to sit idly by, or watch from the stands. we are here...for one reason. to leave...a mark. lexus high performance. with 5.0-liter v8s and sport direct-shift transmissions. experience a shift in the natural order. experience amazing. i didn't want to go to this stupid school in the first place. and the boy in the next row acts inappropriately for someone who's a child. >> i'm sorry, i'm still passive-aggressively ignoring you. >> they get to answer questions, they don't get into trouble. >> you didn't get into trouble for answering questions. you yelled at the principal. you know what? you're going to find this interesting. so i googled first-graders and yell at the principal. statistically, you're never going to believe how many kids do it. >> how many? >> none. >> jimmy: that is chris evans in "gifted" with -- well, tell us a little bit. just give us a little overview of the story. >> sure. the movie's about mckenna grace mary, who plays a young gifted child. i'm her -- without giving too much away i'm her uncle, i'm her guardian, trying to raise her as best i can as a normal child and my mother, her grandmother finds out about her gift and it becomes a little bit of a custody battle. >> jimmy: okay. i never know what to say that will ruin it. this kid is very cute. >> she's something. >> jimmy: a lot of these kid actors, though, are terrible in real life. is she? [ laughter ] >> well, they say don't work with kids and animals. we have both in this movie. i'm telling you, mckenna is something else. you've got to find that balance of a girl who is still a kid, still has that wild freedom and extemporaneous personality but also knows this is a job and you've got to be professional. >> jimmy: right. >> she walks that line flawlessly. she's something else. >> jimmy: how is making a move like that different from making one of these big superhero movies? >> more than anything else it's the pace. those superhero movies you're lucky if you get two pages done in a day. movies like this you're flying through it. >> jimmy: obviously most people know you from captain america but you directed as well. you've done smaller movies like this one, "gifted." are you looking to explore, more roles like that? >> yeah. what i'm really looking for is one of those gritty oscar-caliber bio pics where you really kind of lose yourself in a character. >> jimmy: i could see you doing that. is there somebody you have in mind, somebody you'd like to play? >> it's tough because all the best personalities have had movies made about them. so in my opinion i think what you've got to do is go out and find the person yourself and that's exactly what i did -- >> jimmy: dig somebody up in a way. >> i found him. >> jimmy: oh, you did. >> i think he's here tonight. think -- >> jimmy: what do you mean? >> there he is. right there. that guy. >> jimmy: which guy? >> no. over there. pink shirt. yeah. >> jimmy: wait a minute. this is the guy that you want to play? >> that's the guy. that's the guy. that's dennis. >> me? >> yeah. i'm playing you, buddy. >> jimmy: what's your name? dennis? >> dennis. >> his name is dennis baker. i've been following him around for about six weeks now. and i just -- you know, i really got inside. >> you have? [ laughter ] >> yep. yep. i mean, it's been a while now, but i know how dennis sleeps, how he eats. i just -- i think the more you lose yourself in a role the more they acknowledge it. so yeah, everything about you i know now. >> have you been stalking me? [ laughter ] >> no. i've been researching you, dennis. >> jimmy: it is different. >> for cinema. i knew you'd be here. i read the e-mails. so as a treat i thought i would -- >> jimmy: you read his e-mails? >> well, of course. jimmy, i'm committed. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's very sweet. >> and i thought as a treat to everyone and mostly to dennis i brought the trailer. the trailer of the film we're working on. >> jimmy: you made the movie already? [ applause ] >> we've been diving in. we have a nice snippet. enough to show you guys. >> jimmy: let's take a look. >> critics and audiences have spoken. chris evans delivers the performance of a generation, as dennis. a broken, pathetic shell of a man with nothing to live for. [ laughter ] a portrait of failure. a brutal, soul-crushing glimpse into an empty, wasted life. a man undeserving of love or human touch itself. >> what's wrong? >> you have a bad penis. >> i know. i hate my penis! >> a tour de force of tragedy. an orgy of sadness. an unbearable rock bottom despair. >> dennis, are you eating cheeseburgers out of the toilet again? >> it's all i have! >> chris evans is dennis. >> it's all i have. >> he sucks. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. that was -- i have to hand it to you because that was -- that was a brave performance, i'd even say. i'd go so far as to say. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you're welcome. >> i have one question. dennis, did you like it? >> not really. [ laughter ] >> really? can i ask why? >> you made me look like a goober. >> jimmy: you know what, dennis? maybe be grateful that chris told this beautiful story about your life instead of criticizing every little thing he does. >> i kind of feel like you're being selfish, dennis. >> jimmy: that's how he is. that's how dennis is. dennis, do you want to apologize to chris? >> i'm sorry, chris. >> jimmy: thank you very much. [ applause ] chris evans, everybody. "gifted" in select theaters friday, everywhere april 21st. and look out for "dennis." we'll be right back with amanda peet. 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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ very good to see you. >> good to see you. >> jimmy: you -- i think we should talk about what is an elephant in our lives maybe first just to begin because there's a budding romance going on between my daughter and your son. >> that's what i thought. >> jimmy: that's what you thought. yeah. that's what we thought too. but your son henry who my daughter -- how old is henry? 2 1/2? >> yeah. almost. >> jimmy: and my daughter's 2 1/2. and she calls him hen, which i thought she was referring to a chicken for a while. but they take swim classes together. >> first they took music classes. >> jimmy: okay. >> and that's i think when it started. >> jimmy: and then it started raining and it became a swim class. >> same teacher. >> jimmy: very talented teacher. but they swim together, which is really kind of weird to start with talking about 2-year-olds swimming together. >> they swim. they don't really swim. they kind of -- you know, they -- >> jimmy: my daughter swims. >> oh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. we call it swimming. whatever it is. whatever it is, she seems to be staying alive in the pool which is the key to -- that's all you want, right? >> just don't die. >> jimmy: exactly. and so the other night you sent a very sweet video. you e-mailed it to me and to my wife. >> to your lovely wife, who i love. >> jimmy: in which your son said what exactly? >> he declared his love for jane. >> jimmy: for my daughter jane, yeah. >> he was in the back singing. and i said henry, who's your girlfriend? and he said jane. >> jimmy: and then we made a video of jane, and she didn't necessarily return the sentiment. she was more interested in taking the phone and playing games on it. she was painting a dog or something like that. yeah, so i'm sorry about that. >> that's okay. >> jimmy: i would still like to -- >> i still decided to come. >> jimmy: you still decided to come. [ laughter ] >> and see you. >> jimmy: what goes on in this -- >> i don't feel like it has to affect our relationship. >> jimmy: no. it shouldn't. and in fact, your husband, as some people probably know, is one of the executive producers of "game of thrones." and i saw this as a real -- [ cheers and applause ] i think first and foremost of myself. and so i saw this as an opportunity -- >> wait, are you a clinical narcissist? >> jimmy: not clinical. >> okay. >> jimmy: more of a hobbyist. >> okay. me too. >> jimmy: but i would like to see the episodes of the show before everyone else sees them so i can taunt them. and i thought wow, if our kids were to get married i'd probably get that. right? do you get that? do you get to see them beforehand? >> i don't, really. i see them as they come out. >> jimmy: oh, you do. okay. so i wouldn't even get that. so the hell with it, then. [ laughter ] >> no, i mean -- >> jimmy: do you care? do you care as much as i do? because i care very deeply about what's going on. >> yes. >> jimmy: you do. >> i'm pretty obsessed. and i'm very -- i'm in a state of anxiety about what's going to happen. >> jimmy: you are. about what's going to happen at over whether david and dan are going to [ bleep ] it up. >> jimmy: oh, you are. and how many episodes are coming up? >> i don't know. the finale. this is it. >> jimmy: you haven't asked what's going to happen at the end? >> of course i've asked. and then they say but don't tell me. is it jon snow? but don't tell me. >> jimmy: will the white walkers take over everything? >> right. >> jimmy: does the show turn into the walking dead but in the snow? >> all i know is that all the videos he sent home to us in the last little while for the kids, every -- it was very cold where he was. >> jimmy: i see. >> i could see his breath. i see your breath. i know winter's coming. [ laughter ] i mean i know winter's here. >> jimmy: winter finally came. >> and i know you're not near the beach anymore. so i'm starting to get it. >> jimmy: this show that you're doing, i saw this today. it's so funny. hank azaria did this character three or four years ago. it's a baseball announcer. and he does a great rap with this baseball announcer, and you guys made it into a whole show. you play the owner of a minor league baseball team. would you say he has some form of -- is it tourette's syndrome or what exactly is wrong with him? because he will go from calling balls and strikes, you know, ground ball into -- to third base into a horrible story about his wife being involved in an orgy. >> yes. i think he was really fascinated. he plays an old-timey baseball announcer and he was really fascinated by whether this is how these men talk all the time. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> so when they're having sex with their wives, we had to do a sex scene where he was basically narrating the sex. >> jimmy: the sex, yeah. >> unfortunately, i couldn't stop laughing during the take. yeah. >> jimmy: what happened here? you brought a photograph that's disturbing. what happened in this shot here? this is a picture you took of yourself? >> so i had to shotgun a beer. >> jimmy: yes. >> and i was supposed to look at hank. and i decided i need to catch the beer in my left hand and shotgun it with my right. so you know, i'm not a lefty. but i was really cocky. so i wanted to do it all in one take. so i was practicing catching the -- catching it and doing -- i know i've only shotgunned a beer like one other time. >> jimmy: well, it has to be a hole in the beer can to start with. >> i know! that's why i was going to catch it with my left and stab it with my right. but i missed it. so that's actually the mark of a beer can. >> jimmy: and that is really like -- that's a terrible scar. i don't see any -- you had that stitched up afterwards? >> yeah. >> jimmy: wow. >> and you know what david said when i was on the way to the hospital? >> jimmy: no. >> did they get the shot? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's spoken like a man who's freezing his ass off doing his show. well, the show is very funny. check it out. it's called "brockmire." it premieres this wednesday night at 10:00 on ifc. [ cheers and applause ] amanda peet, everyone. thank you, amanda. we'll be right back with mastodon. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. next, six teens left unconscious and one dead after an encounter with the same silent killer that took three lives inside this hotel. what is this killer? "nightline" confronts the >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i want to thank chris evans, amanda peet. apologies to matt damon. we did run out of time. "nightline" is next but first, their new record is called "emperor of sand." here with the song "show yourself" -- mastodon! ♪ ♪ show yourself show yourself i want to see everything you're made of tear it down and rip it out shed your ♪ ♪ skin and float it down the river lose yourself lose yourself wild horses ride you through the valley ♪ ♪ come alive come alive sail into the void without your worries you're not as safe as far ♪ ♪ as i can tell and i can tell only you can save yourself yeah soon this will all be a distant memory ♪ ♪ or could this dream be real at all stars align stars align stars can fall and get you into trouble ♪ ♪ be afraid don't be afraid speak the ancient wisdom of the desert you're not as safe as far as i can tell ♪ ♪ and i can tell only you can save yourself yourself yeah soon this will all be a distant memory or ♪ ♪ could this dream be real at all ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ show yourself, show yourself ♪ i wanna see everything you're made of ♪ ♪ reveal yourself, reveal yourself ♪ ♪ the truth will send a ripple through your body ♪ ♪ see your fate you'll see your fate death will come and steal you from the living dead and gone dead and ♪ ♪ gone i'll see you on the other side of fire ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: this is "nightline". tonight, the silent killer. a children's birthday party at a hotel pool turning deadly after a carbon monoxide leak. >> all i remember is me just passing out. >> several kids hospitalized. one killed. >> they were just pulling bodies and they were laying them side by side. >> why preventable accidents like these are still happening. how you can keep your family safe. plus, a new factor. >> hi, i'm bill o'reilly. >> fox news star bill o'reilly under fire after reportedly settling multiple claims of sexual harassment for more than $10 million. we're with one former contributor who says rejecting his advances put her out of a job. >> i simply said i'm sorry, i can't do that. he got very hostile very quickly. >> why the outspoken anchor denies it