I did know the reality show would become a reality. President trump now needs someone to serve on the Supreme Court. Hes supposed to announce his pick thursday. Yesterday he tweeted that hed made his decision and would announce it live tonight. He decided to preempt our regularly scheduled programs to make the announcement in primetime, which is historic. Usually hell just announce this stuff in the morning, in the afternoon. This is the first time a Supreme Court nomination has ever interrupted an episode of ncis. So this is big. Not only did the white house did everything they could to keep the nomination secret to build suspense, they brought trumps final two choices, judge neil gorsuch from denver and Thomas Hardiman from pittsburgh, they brought them each in, thats right, he Ryan Seacrested his choice for the Supreme Court. Like a two on one date on the bachelor. In case you missed it here was the moment of truth as President Trump shows americas next Supreme Court justice. Hes totally messed up but you have to admit hes a different kind of a guy. Meatloaf, this is really bothering you. Yes, sir. Meatloaf, im going to make you very happy. Gary, youre fired. Meatloaf, youre fired. Judge neil gorsuch. Youre very talented, youre very unique. Youre an amazing guy. Youre hired. Jimmy grat lations to neil dpour such, youre going to hollywood. Heres how it really happened live from the white house tonight. I would like to ask judge gorsuch and his wonderful wife louise to please step forward. Please, louise, judge. Here they come. So was that a surprise . Was it . Jimmy well, yeah. You know who it was a surprise for . The guy who drove all the way out from pittsburgh to not get picked as Supreme Court judge. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy the only thing miss was him slowly walking away. Why the hell did he bring him out . All right. So tonight trump hired new Supreme Court justice. Last night he fired the acting attorney general, sally yates. She was appointed by president obama, was supposed to stay in place until a new attorney general was confirmed. But yesterday she announced that under her, the department of justice would not defend trumps order preventing refugees and visitors from seven predominantly muslim countries from entering the united states. She said she wasnt convinced it was lawful. Of course trump didnt like that so he gave her the hook and brought in this guy. His name is dana he looks like the kind of guy who wears tshirt and socks to bed with no underwear. He looks like he had his first sexual experience at age 34. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] hes acting attorney general and will defend the ban on immigrants. This was crazy today. Of all the many characters tapped for team trump, the one i believe will be leaving first, mark my words, for whatever reason they give, he will be seeking other opportunities by the end of the year, is press secretary sean spicer. He is the guy who every day has to get up in front of his colleagues, a room full of reporters who he used to be friends with, to attempt to explain what the hell is going on. Hes been very flustered so far. Including today when he took issue with the use of the word ban. I want to go back to the issue of this travel ban. Well, first of all, its not a travel ban. This was President Trumps tweet yesterday. If the ban were announced with a oneweek notice, the bad would rush into our country during that week. He says its a ban. Hes using the words the media is using. At the end of the day hold on it cant be this is yours jonathan, thanks, ill let kristen talk. It cant be a ban if youre letting 1 Million People in. 325,000 people from another country cant come in, that is by nature not a ban. Jimmy really . If i get banned from a casino or the super bowl for running naked on the field . Even if you let other people in, im still banned, right . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] dont take my word for it. I dont know anything. This is from an event last night at George Washington university. You know who else thinks its a ban . Sean spicer. The ban deals with seven countries the Obama Administration previously identified needs further travel restrictions. Jimmy did i say ban . I meant bran, like raisin bran, love that stuff. If i didnt have that every morning, i think id end it all. Heres another interesting little plot twist. President trump as you know believes he would have won the popular vote had there not been what he says are 3 million to 5 million illegal votes cast. The expert whose work trump cites as evidence of this is a guy named greg phillips, who greg phillips, according to the associated press, is registered to vote in three states. [ laughter ] hes registered to vote in alabama, mississippi, and texas. You know the saying, in order to stop voter fraud, you have to be willing to commit voter fraud. [ laughter ] maybe hes going undercover. [ cheers and applause ] in china, this is so interesting. Theres an International Team of researchers in china, theyve discovered what they believe to be the oldest human ancestor, a 540 millionyearold creature they call sacaritis. Isnt he cute . As you can see he has a large mouth but no anus. The researchers were unable to find any evidence of an anus. They think it ate food and excreted from the same orifice. Like the rest of us do on super bowl sunday. [ laughter ] guillermo what do you think . Thats our grandpa together. Guillermo crazy [ bleep ]. Crazy. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] guillermo like they eat jimmy no, i understand that part of it, yeah. Guillermo was in houston yesterday for super bowl media day. This is when the reporters try to speak to the players. Did you have fun . Guillermo a lot of fun. Jimmy are you tired . Guillermo very tired. Jimmy did you go out afterwards . Guillermo yeah, a little bit. [ laughter ] jimmy whered you go . Guillermo we finished late. The closest bar was right there. Jimmy you went to a bar what did you drink at the bar . Guillermo beer, beer. Jimmy oh, beer. Thats the International Sign for beer. Guillermo yeah. Jimmy guillermo got a lot of attention. Tomorrow night well have his full report. As a preview guillermo was featured on Sports Center when he asked a number of players what tom brady smells like. How does tom brady smell . Tom brady smells good. Like money. Like you would imagine. What do you think tom brady smells like . Flowers. Expensive ones. Guillermo can i come smell you . No. Jimmy wait a minute. How can we decide if hes the greatest quarterback of alltime if hes not going to let anybody smell him . [ cheers and applause ] joe montana would have let you smell him, ill tell you that. Guillermo well, too late. Jimmy we have guillermos official super bowl media day tomorrow night. We have to take a break. Theres a couple on hollywood boulevard right now, they cannot hear us. They dont know whats going on. When we come back in honor of jamie dornan and fifty shades darker, well ask them how often they make love and well see how well their answers match up with each others. It will be awkward and fun so stick around, well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] dont look now but chuck norris is right behind you. I heard superheroes read chuck norris comics. I heard at night, the boogeyman checks under the bed for chuck. I heard cats say they have chucklike reflexes. Do you think hes still got it . I bet you a buck he catches this salt shaker. Youre on hey chuck you owe me a buck. You cant always see whats coming but when you choose unitedhealthcare, finding an innetwork doctor thats close to home is easy. So what happened . I had lunch with chuck norris. Unitedhealthcare. 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Now in kids chewables. [ rear alert sounds ], by Willie Nelson ] [ music stops ] again just cant wait to get on the road again [ front assist sounds ] [ music stops ] [ girl laughs ] on the road again like a band of gypsies we go down the highway [ beetle horn honks ] no matter which passat you choose, you get more standard features, for less than you expected. Hurry in and lease the 2017 passat s for just 199 a month. Jimmy still to come, jamie dornan, adam scott, music from Tucker Beathard. First valentines day is approaching. The fifty shades darker movie is coming out [ cheers and applause ] ohoh. Jamie dornan hears this hes going to run for the hills. [ laughter ] we thought we might head out to hollywood boulevard to find a pair of lovebirds, happy couples we hope, to ask them a simple question, how many times a month do you have sex . Weve done this before. Oftentimes they have different answers. The man and the woman. They tend to have different ways of doing the math. But lets get on to cousin sal whos outside. Sal hey, cousin jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy sal and i came up with this idea because our friend whose name i will not mention sal dan sanborn. Jimmy thats right, dan sanborn, he told us he and his wife sheena, they live in little silver, new jersey, do what they call it four times a week, even though theyve been married 16 years. They have 37 kids. [ laughter ] and i was shocked by this. So lets do this. Bring in that couple sal let me say, im calling fake news on the sanborn thing. Jimmy why . Sal hes not that [ bleep ]able. [ laughter ] im sorry, i shouldnt have said that. Jimmy can you guys hear me . What good are those soundcanceling headphones . Son of a okay, all right. Do you have any idea what im about to ask you . Did you hear anything . No. Jimmy okay, very good. No. Jimmy what your names . Anthony, were from studio city, california. Jimmy okay, anthony. Whats your name . Leilani. Jimmy whos that punk kid in the background jumping around . Okay, anthony and leilani, how long have you been together . Over three years. Over three years. Jimmy are you married, engaged, dating, whats the story . Were dating. Dating. Three years, youre dating. So that is a little bit different. [ laughter ] its a simple game. There are no wrong answers. Only honest answers. Im going to ask you both a question. What id like you to do is write your answers down. Dont share your answers. Dont consult each other, dont say it aloud, just write it down. When i tell you, you will reveal your answers. Okay . The question, theres only one question. It is, how many times a month do you have sex . Anthony and leilani have written down their answers. Leilani, were going to start with you. How many times a month do you and anthony i should have specified. Its you and anthony. [ laughter ] have sex . Hi, kids. [ laughter ] 10 times a month, all right. Sal 10 times, kids, what do you think . [ laughter ] Jimmy Anthony says . 12 all right. Thats pretty close. I think thats quite close. Which do you think, whos closer to the truth there now that you see each others answers . Im definitely closer. Jimmy okay, all right. Congratulations on that. Thats a lot. Before you go, cousin sal has some gifts for you. Sal i have a whip and i have duct tape. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats how it works. Lets bring our next couple in. Sal come on in. Jimmy lets bring our next couple in. Hello there. Again, weve got some parentless children looking on from the back. Hi, whats your name . Belinda. Jimmy belinda or melinda . Belinda with a b. Jimmy what is your name, sir . William marlin. Jimmy belinda and william, are you married . 36 years. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, this is good. Wow, 36 years. What, did you get married when you were 8 . 19. Jimmy 19 . Yes. Jimmy wow, you look very young. Im going to ask you about the question. And your job is just answer that question honestly. Do not reveal your answer until i tell you to, okay . Yeah, write on the other side, anthony. I mean, william. Okay. All right. So the question is, how many times a month, after 36 years, do you have sex . [ laughter ] yeah, write it right on the yeah, on the thing. Okay. Belinda going to work. Theres a concerned onlooker. All right. William . Are you in the marines or just a fan . Now. Jimmy whats that . Im still in. Jimmy very good, okay. Once a marine always a marine. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy all right, william the marine, what is the number . The number is two. I think william spelled it out just for spite. Better get this one right. Jimmy belinda, what do you say . William says two, you say sal this is going to be trouble. Ten [ cheers and applause ] wait a minute. Well, either youve got someone on the side or one of you is not you know i meant not alone, right . Wow, belinda. What happened . I today is my birthday, im old. [ laughter ] jimmy all right. Well, belindas using the senility defense here. All right, happy birthday, belinda. Sal the worlds best lover cup, mug. And fresh oysters for you. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy very good, thank you guys. One more. Lets have one more in there. [ cheers and applause ] lets see, our next couple is hello, what are your names . Im rita. Im phil. Jimmy where are you from . Toronto, ontario, canada. Jimmy very good. Welcome to the united states. Were happy to have you here. How long have you been married . Are you married . We are married. Jimmy you are married. It will be 38 years this fall. Jimmy 38 years. [ cheers and applause ] william and belinda were married for 36 years. The question were going to ask is the same question we asked them. How many times a month, write it down, do not say it aloud, do you make love . And by make love you know what i mean. Im going to ask you to write this in u. S. Figures, not canadian. This could open up a long [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] phil, can we get you an abacus . Rita, did you finish your answer . We just saw phils. Phil, thats not how game shows work here in america. All right, so phil showed his number. Phil, let me guess i bet its 10. Yeah, that is right, its 10. Rita, you say . Which way . Jimmy whoa sal theres a decimal there. Theres a decimal. Jimmy i think we need to pair phil up with belinda and rita up with william. [ laughter ] sal, are they still around . Maybe that could be the gift. [ laughter ] sal no, she smacked him in the face and he took off down the street. Jimmy i believe we have a special gift presentation for you tonight here. Do we have a special gift presentation . Oh, look at that, oh [ cheers and applause ] jamie dornan. Jamie what do you have there . [ cheers and applause ] jamie, dont shake his hand, hes having sex by himself eight times a month. What do you have for him there, jamie . Ive got a 50 hooters card. Jimmy oh, great. And some original dairy whipped cream. Jimmy oh, wow, look at that. [ cheers and applause ] what a lovely gift. Thank you, jamie. Thank you, phil, rita. Id like you to walk around with those signs just held up like that the rest of the night. Thanks to everyone. Jamie, come in here before youre attacked. [ cheers and applause ] we have a good show for you tonight. Music from Tucker Beathard. Adam scott is here. Be right back with jamie dornan [ cheers and applause ] that help them save on their car insurance. Any questions . Yeah. How do you go to the bathroom . Great. Any insurancerelated questions . Mmhmm. Do you have a girlfriend . Uh, im actually focusing on my career right now, saving people nearly 600 when they switch, so. Wheres your belly button . [ sighs ] ive got to start booking better gigs. The goalie has studied every one of your shots. She knows youre going for her left corner. She even teases you, calling the shot. 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Eping ] [ laughter ] cartoons. Wait for it. [ cat screech ] [ laughter ] [ screaming ] [ laughter ] make everyday awesome with the power of xfinity x1. Hi grandma and the fastest internet. [ girl screaming ] [ laughter ] jimmy welcome back. Tonight from the new hbo show Big Little Lies, adam scott is here. Then later from nashville, tennessee. This is his ep, its called fight like hell, music from Tucker Beathard. Tomorrow night rob lowe, dave salmoni and his wild animal friends, and music from tom chaplain so zone us for that. Our first guest plays the billionaire blindfold and bondage enthusiast christian grey in the sequel that answers every question you had after the first one. Fifty shades darker opens a week from friday please welcome jamie dornan. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how are you . Everything good . Everythings good, man, how are you . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy youre cropped. The audience, let me tell you [ cheers and applause ] theres like a 40 chance youre not getting out of here alive. I can feel it. It feels a little higher than that, ill be honest. Jimmy it might be tipping into the 50 , 52 , yeah. How are you . Good, everythings good. Jimmy did you shave your head fo