Thanks for coming. Glad youre here. We have a lot to get to. Have we swung the National Anthem yet . Has that happened . We have so much to get to. Starting with day two of the Democratic National convention in hilladelphia. Hillary clinton became the first woman to be nominated by a major party in the United States, which even if she doesnt win thats going to look great on her resume. The theme of the convention tonight was a lifetime of fighting for children and families, which is definitely better than a lifetime of fighting children and families, which makes yous. The word for can make a very big difference. Bill clinton spoke tonight. He was the major speaker of the evening. Of course he strongly supported his wife to be our next president. In a surprise move asked Melania Trump to be his first lady. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] if hillary wins, it will be interesting to see because bill clinton would be our nations first first man. Which is interesting. Weve had a first man on the moon, a first man to climb mt. Everest, a first man to run a fourminute mile. Nobody ever thought to be just the first man. I guess adam maybe was the first first man. The democrats have had some impressive speakers so far. Last night Michelle Obama delivered her Second Convention speech of the week. The first lady, she made a very powerful point. She noted that she and her husband wake up every day in a house built by slaves. To which donald trump replied, really, can i get the name of your contractor . Because much of the focus yesterday bawas on bernie sande who did his best to throw his support to the clinton camp. Sanders said the democrats will work to break up the biggest banks. He said from it the wells fargo center, so maybe wait until next week. It was a big night for bernie sanders. You could tell. The First Time Ever it appears he combed his hair. His hair was very neat. Even today some sanders supporters were still hopeful he would somehow come out on top of the delegate count. Which either shows how passionate they are or how bad they are at math. Or maybe both of those things. But when bernie did voice his support for mrs. Clinton, this is how his supporters reacted. Any objective observer will conclude that based on her ideas and her leadership, Hillary Clinton must become the next president of the United States. Jimmy what a face, like the end of the movie the notebook. Bernie looked out, what happened, am i dead . There are a number of current and former comedians speaking at the convention, including senator al franken who was a comedy writer for many years, sarah silverman, lena dunham, pennsylvania senator bob casey. Donald trump hasnt made anything in his life, except a buck on the backs of working people. If he is the champion of working people, im the starting center for the 76ers. Jimmy good one, dad. [ laughter ] thats the mighty casey strikes out again. Meanwhile, donald trump was in roanoke, virginia. Hes on a roll. A new cnn poll has him leading hillary by 3 points. Even though he doesnt drink heres what it would look like if he did to celebrate tonights edition of drunk donald trump. Shell go on, shell take a nap for four or five hours, then shell come back. No naps for trump. No naps. I dont take naps. We dont have time we dont have time. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy he is flying highlight now because the democrats are behind in the polls. Actually, if you watch the convention today, you literally saw how far behind the polls they are. My name is nicholas mateola, speaker of the house of the great Democratic State of rhode island. We proudly pass 21 votes for senator bernie sanders. Our state cast our votes delaware is home to our favorite son madam secretary madam secretary im donnie deans new hampshire, where we bring democrats together im proud to announce that oklahoma, where our state motto is the great state of kansas. The father of the new political revolution, 74 votes for bernie sanders. Really. Cspan needs to get some human camera people. How the hell does that happen . Tonight on abc we had a very special episode of the batch error ret. The men tell all. Or maybe its pronounced the mental all, im not sure. But these political conventions are making you lose faith in america, the bachelorette men tell all special will do nothing to change that. Much of the interest was directed at bad chad who is one of the most unpopular contestants ever on the show. The other guys did not like chad. He threatened them, he got physical with them, he was always working out. Tonight one of the fellows, nick, decided hed had enough. Chris, hold on, wait, wait. Oh its the same egotistical [ bleep ] we had to listen to all season. You going to pop a squat . No, listen to me. We have to resort to violence . Here we go. Chads really good at issuing threats, all right . Wait, are you trying to get air time right now . Chad, youre a coward that sits behind empty threats, dude, you got nothing. You want to fight me . Any time, any place, whatever. Hold on, guys. Youre a coward, dude. Dont worry, we got a Security Guard. Jimmy well, we kind of have a someone wake the Security Guard was that a Security Guard or did cu kubio get a haircut . Chad made no friends during his time in bachelor land. If he had to do it all over again would he do it the same way . Chris harrison asked and chad gave a surprisingly poetic response. Is there anything that you regret . You know, honestly, i mean i dont regret 99 of the things that happened. I think anybodys going to be mad when theyre getting [ bleep ] 24 7, night and day in front of 10 Million People watching. So did you like trying to think off the top of my head the jordan comment. Right that one, i thought that would make them be quiet, didnt work. It seemed to egg them on. Sometimes you use apples which you should have chose pickles, know what i mean . Jimmy kind of, i guess. Like when youre when you have to decide whether you should have the apple pie with ice cream or the pickle pie . I dont know. Apples and pickles, you know, you cant compare them. Ladies and gentlemen, that is story that caught my eye. According to a new study, the United States is falling short when it comes to height. American men and women used to be the tallest people in the world. Now we rank 37th and 42nd. The tallest men and the women now are from the netherlands and latvia. Which its like my mother always said, if you need to get something down from a high shelf, call a latvian. This is disturbing. Bring me my podium if you dont mind. Thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] my fellow americans. We need to get this country back on top. Literally. America was founded by tall people. Abraham lincoln. You cant tell by the dollar bill, George Washington was more than 8 feet tall. Are we going to let the netherlands tower over us . I dont know about you, but im not. Are you, guillermo . Guillermo no way. Jimmy you actually are going to let the netherlands tower over you. But i dont believe the dutch are the tallest people. I think theyre adding two or three inches with those wooden shoes. And latvia . Is latvia even a real country . Thats not a rhetorical question, i actually dont know. When i am Vice President , i will solve this in my first 100 days. And this is how i will do it. If you are over 510, you can stay. You can remain here and make babies, long babies, with other tall people. If youre shorter than that, you may be relocated to mexico and canada. And i will build a wall to keep all the short people from sneaking back in. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and it wont be as expensive as Donald Trumps wall because it wont need to be that high, really. In my america, you must be this tall to ride. So join me, fullsized people. Lets make america tall again [ cheers and applause ] and most importantly, lets bond together to teach these latvians a lesson theyll never forget we have to take a break. When we come back, the boys tell all. The baby bachelorettes. So stick around, well be right back. Youve wished upon it all year, and now its finally here. The mercedesbenz summer event is back, with incredible offers on the mercedesbenz youve always longed for. But hurry, these shooting stars fly by fast. Lease the gle350 for 579 a month at your local mercedesbenz dealer. Mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Introducing tmobiles most epic deal ever get a free Samsung Galaxy for everyone in the family. Thats right, a free Samsung Galaxy with every new line and get 4 lines with 6 gigs each for just 30 bucks a line. Plus everybody gets unlimited streaming from their favorite services. Dont wait. Get a free Samsung Galaxy for everyone. So get tmobile now. Because our most epic deal ever is only for limited time. Whats yours . Illion ways to top your kids rice krispies. A dash of fruit in their favorite color. A bunch of pineapple cause hey its summer bananas and berries cause the letter b rocks. A little bit of yogurt . Sure why not . The fun never stops how many ways can you snap, crackle, pop . Man, im glaaflac c pays cash. Isnt Major Medical enough . No whos gonna help cover the holes in their plans . Aflac like rising copays and deductibles. Aflac or help pay the mortgage . Or child care . Aflaaac and everyday expenses . Aflac learn about one day pay at aflac. Com boat blurlbrlblrlbr welcome back to the show. David spade, ozzy and Jack Osbourne, and music from the strokes all coming. First, as you know, earlier tonight in primetime we had the bachelorette men tell all special but the telling september over. I produce my own bachelorette spinoff show starring children instead of adults. Grab a juice box, sit back in a little chair and relax as the boys tell all in the most revealing episode of the baby bachelorette yet. This season on the baby bachelorette. Biancas quest for true love introduced us to an amazing cast of characters. Some were fan favorites. Im captain america some were more controversial. Its my ex. He came back into my life. Im so humiliated. Others were just too short. Its hard being little. Tonight we hear from the boys. Jimmy tonight on the most shocking, dramatic boys tell all ever. Tensions rise and tales are tattled as our most controversial contestants in baby bachelorette history come together for the First Time Since bianca sent them home. While bianca continues her journey toward true love. Well hear from the men she lefted him. About mistakes, regrets, and heartbreak. Fellas . Thanks for being brave enough to be here tonight. Im glad you are relaxed. Dylan, lets start with you. You made the boldest first impression. I have to ask you, why captain america . Um, because i was him yesterday. Jimmy you were captain america yesterday . Yes, so it was my turn to be spiderman jimmy today youre spiderman . Oh my goodness. Wow. He really is spiderman. Well. What prompted this change . What made you make this decision . I made the changes because i have i am spiderman jimmy because you are spiderman. How you doing . Ease than lines that. I want to move on to the most controversial departure of the season, eisley. Some viewers said it was unfair of you to lead bianca on. Why did you come on the show if you already had a girlfriend . My girl and i werent exclusive. I needed to play the field. Jimmy well, thats not what this show is about. And i have to say i feel like you were here for the wrong ropes, right . Yeah. Dean, where is dean . Dean, hi. You mind if i i want to just yeah, put you over here. There you go. Dean, spiderman. Spiderman, dean. Dean, whats going on with you since you left the show . Has this been hard for you . Yeah. Jimmy did bianca break your heart . Yeah. Jimmy in how many pieces . Five. Jimmy five pieces . That is a lot of pieces. Do you think youll ever love again . It would be hard to trust another woman. Jimmy you know, dean, they say time heals all booboos and i think youre going to be just fine. Ill probably be single forever. Im spiderman youre not spiderman. Yes, i am. Jimmy well, we have a surprise reunion tonight. Someone america fell in love with just three short years ago. Please welcome the baby bachelor himself, wellesley, wesley. And the winner of wesleys season, jesse. Guys, come on out. How are you doing, wesley . Have a seat on the couch. Wheres jesse . Oh, shes not here today. Jimmy why isnt she here . Because we grew apart. Jimmy was there an argument . Yep. Jimmy what did you have an argument about . Well jesse wanted to do one thing and i wanted to do a other thing. Jimmy you couldnt agree, come to a compromise . Yeah, uh sgluf may i ask, what was the one thing that you wanted to do that jesse didnt want to do . Go to the park. Jimmy she did not want to go to the park . Yeah. Jimmy where did she want to go . She wanted to go to the movies. Jimmy wow r. Im so sorry that happened. So are you still married . No. We just grew apart. And i respect jesse and i wish her nothing but the best. Jimmy thats very big of you. Do you have any regrets about the choice you made . I mean, you did choose jesse over gabby. Yes, i did. Jimmy you do . Uhhuh. Jimmy wesley, i have a surprise visitor for you tonight. Please welcome gabby. Gabby . Gabby, how are you . Very good to see you. Have a seat right there on the couch next to wesley. Wesley, say hello to gabby. Hi, gabby. Jimmy how long has it been since youve seen each other . A long, long time. Three years. Jimmy three years. Well, wesley told us just a moment ago that he still thinks about you and he still has feelings for you. Wesley, is there anything you would like to say to gabby . I think think about you and what we had was special. And you have pretty hair. Jimmy aww. A lot of things have changed over three years. Jimmy what kind of things have happened . Ive lost my teeth. Jimmy uhhuh. I broke my arm. Jimmy oh i taught my sister a lot of curse words. Jimmy gabby, what do you think of that . Do you ever use curse words . No. Jimmy no. Well, thats very sweet. Wesley, anything youd like to ask gabby or say to her right now . Gabby . Will you marry me . I thought youd never ask. [ applause ] jimmy wesley . Did you bring a ring . Uh no. Jimmy you didnt bring a ring. Where the hell is neil lang . Isnt he supposed to bring rings out . Oh, well. Well get you a ring. And i am so happy for the both of you. Wow. What a wild ride this has been. Tune in next week as bianca makes her final decision. Will it be alex or manny who wins her heart . Next week well find out on the emotional season sin in all lay of the baby bachelorette. Congrats, guys. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy biancas amazing journey comes to an end next monday night. Tonight music from the strokes, ozzy and Jack Osbourne are here, and be right back with david spade [ cheers and applause ] dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by chobani greek yogurt. You can only be great if youre full of goodness. Go to chobani. Com to learn more. Introducing tmobiles most epic deal ever get a free Samsung Galaxy for everyone in the family. Thats right, a free Samsung Galaxy with every new line and get 4 lines with 6 gigs each for just 30 bucks a line. Plus everybody gets unlimited streaming from their favorite services. Dont wait. Get a free Samsung Galaxy for everyone. So get tmobile now. Because our most epic deal ever is only for limited time. Honey nut cheerios. Get their delicious taste from real, honest ingredients. Real oats. Thats a big bowl real honey. Yeah, honey. And real patience. Hurry up i like that bee. Jimmy hi, there, welcome back to the show. Tonight, from the new fatherson travel show, ozzy and jacks world detour, which can be seen on history. Ozzy and Jack Osbourne are here. [ cheers and applause ] then, this is their album. Its called future present past. The strokes from the samsung stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, andy garcia will be here, jack huston will join us, and well have music from the gogos. And thursday, greg kinnear, dino archie, and dana white from the ufc. Join us then. Our first guest is an emmynominated actor and hollywood sex maggot who i mean magnet [ laughter ] [ applause ] anyway, hes got a show, its called fameless. It premieres monday night at 10 00 on trutv. Please say hello to david spade. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy sorry about that. Yeah. Jimmy that was not a freudian slip at all. You got all the other ones right. Hey, i was going to tell you that this little walk, i had dinner last night. Fivestar restaurant. Jimmy oh, congratulations. Congratulations. I like to throw that in. When the hostess walks you in, you might have this happen. First of all, all my friends think the hostesses are cute. We invented an app that tells you where the three hostesses are in the restaurant. Wheres the one with the brown hair . Table 26. Didnt sell. Jimmy thats good. That is really stalking. We went to apple on all of them. Jimmy didnt like it, huh . The hose tells last night, this is funny, youll hate it. I come in, i go to this place. She has to walk me but she wants to have a little chitter chat. Mr. Spade, thank you for coming. And how was your day . I go, i had a little bit of a health scare. She goes, here we are. Thats it . No followup . Just dead stop when she got to the table. Pivoted. But sometimes, like last night was really scary. Jimmy why . I was running out of batteries on my phone. Jimmy oh, yeah, my god. Have you ever had this happen . And everyones looking at me, whats wrong . Its almost 9. 9 00 . No, 9 battery, ive got to get home and plug it in. They go the hostess goes, ill plug it in. Im like, uh you know the panic . Well well are you going to go way over she takes it. Ahh jimmy what . Why . Because im terrified. Jimmy of what . Because im like a dog looking at the owner. Because she might find the 300 [ bleep ] pics. Jimmy oh, oh r. That didnt make the cut. Jimmy thats a lot of them. Yeah. Those are the ones i didnt send because i couldnt get it right. By the way, im finding my wiener is not photogenic. Jimmy is that right . Yeah. I think its a new thing with younger people. But mine, whoof. Put my foot on a stool, get an aerial s