watching. thanks to all of you here for coming. thanks for braving the heat dome to be here. have you heard about that? it's a new weather phenomenon, causing unusually high temperatures, expected to get up to 115 degrees in some states. so, don't go to some of those states. and the fear is that the heat dome will turn into a thunder dome, and we'll have to turn to mad max to help us. and president obama writing, drink water, stay out of the sun, and check on your neighbors. can you imagine checking on your neighbors in los angeles? and donald trump tweeting, the sun is the worst. hot, lazy, stupid, the sun is a big fat loser. in cleveland tonight, donald trump officially accepted the republican nomination after almost a full week of people kissing his ass, he finally kissed himself. throwing make america great t-shirts into the crowd, not really, but it's kind of believable, right? when he finished his speech, they dropped 125,000 balloons, poor chris christie spent all day blowing them up. there's a group of loyal fans huddled together, waiting for the big orange gourd to appear. began with a speech from scott baio, and went downhill from there. it's a big -- i mean -- the big drama last night came courtesy of senator ted cruz, who chose not to endorse donald trump, even though they let him give a speech. this is how the trump family reacted to that. they should make that their christmas card. there were a lot of boos for ted cruz. how dare he? one of the reasons he didn't voice his support for trump, he reportedly has plans to run for president again in 2020. why not, it went so well this time. and dr. ben carson apparently does not have similar aspirations. >> they're saying ted cruz wants to run again in 2020. have you made any decisions along those lines? >> yes. i have no intention of running for public office again. i wouldn't have done it this time had it not been for the tremendous outcry of the people. >> there were? who were these people? it was a good day for ben carson. he just signed a deal to be the new face of tylenol p.m. but there's a side feud emerging from the rnc. between bill o'reilly and montel williams. at the last minute, he backed out. >> we were supposed to have montel williams, but he walked out in a huff, right? and the producer tells me he was mad about some gay thing. do you know what the gay thing -- >> i don't think what it was. >> does anybody know what gay thing upset montel williams? >> jimmy: no, but i want to know. by the way, gay thing would be a great new marvel superhero. make the four really fantastic. a major adult film purveyor says that adult film viewing is up 400%, skyrocket ed ahead of usual viewing cities in cleveland. wh and mcdonald's and starbucks says they plan to block pornographic websites. where am i supposed to watch it now? maybe mcdonald's plans to bring it back like the mcrib or the shamrock shake. while some restaurants are taking porn off, some are bringing it back. >> all you can eat pancakes are back, with an extra helping of all you can watch porn. only $2.99 all day, every day. you say it's your birthday? stop in and enjoy a rooty tooty spank your booty stack. it's the summer of ihop. come hungry, leave horny. >> jimmy: this is my favorite character at the convention this week. >> ivanka trump, she will be the one who does the introductory speech on thursday night, when he's due to accept the nomination. >> jimmy: that's donald trump super fan jake byrd, he got a shout out on twitter from the "new york times," a man celebrated at the convention that he's the man. the "wall street journal" tweeted a photo of him, too. he was all over the place. they didn't know that jake was with us. they sent a camera with him, and he made quite a splash, we'll see that next. but first, it's thursday night, time to bleep and blur the big tv moments whether they needed it or not. it's this week in unnecessary censorship. >> this is who we are. governors and doctors, ceo, and hog [ bleep ]ers. >> ladies and gentlemen, donald trump is a [ bleep ]er and i know he will [ bleep ] this country. >> we remain focused on one thing. this beautiful [ bleep ] that we love so much. >> my 2-year-old grandson has a longer [ bleep ] than donald trump. >> i am not in the habit of supporting people that [ bleep ] my wife. >> america is no longer lee eer, but rather [ bleep ] from behind. >> open your mouth wide, and i will [ bleep ] it. >> my fellow republicans, when donald trump becomes president of the united states of america, the [ bleep ] will be huge. >> jimmy: all right. we're going to take a break. when we come back, jake byrd at the republican national convention. so, stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ 3, 2, 1 [whispered 'rocket'] since the beginning of time, there never seemedre is. to be enough of it. people try to beat time. ahhhhh! but time always wins. our greatest fear is running out of time. there's a bomb in the salsa can! we gotta get out of here! my phone is still charging! so if time is the most valuable thing there is, why would you waste more than you have to charging your phone? ahhhhhhhh! the galaxy s7 edge, with fast wireless charging, and our longest lasting battery. ♪ ♪ starbucks® cold brew coffee. available in original black. and now with house-made vanilla sweet cream. smooth meets sweet. in stores now. only at starbucks. the ford freedom sales event is on! with our best offers of the year! ♪ i'm free to do what i want... and 0% financing is back! on a huge selection of ford cars, trucks and suvs. plus get an extra $1000 smart bonus on specially tagged vehicles. that's freedom from interest... and freedom to choose with ford. america's best selling brand. ♪ i'm free, baby! now get 0% financing plus a $1000 smart bonus cash on specially tagged vehicles. only at the ford freedom sales event. ♪ feel free... wait no my computer, no, wait, what are we running after? my stupid, old computer. well if it's so old, why are you chasing it? is it slow? weigh a ton? yeah. well you know... i know... today's pcs are faster and lighter, i know. so why are we still running? i don't know. you know about it. now do something about it. upgrade to a new pc. oh, charley horse, charley horse. call for help, call for help. help, help ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. as you know, the republican national convention wrapped up on t tonight. the most passionate supporter of donald trump is our friend jake byrd. he tried to make friends and file this very special report. >> hey, it's jake byrd, here in cleveland, home of the rock & roll hall of fame, and the cleveland cavaliers. let's go! ♪ >> i love your hat. ♪ >> it's all happening! it's really happening! it's really happening! i'm from chino, california, right on the mexican border. texas, that's on the mexican border, too. we're both getting a wall! >> against illegal immigration, but also against the drug cartels coming across the boarder. >> i don't think people understand that. trump supporters aren't against mexicans. here's what happened, juan the pool guy said he needed a place, i need to get him out of the house so i can get back in the s house. we need him out. >> i don't know this gentleman. i'd be happy to talk to you later if you'd like. >> yeah, we can get together later. >> who are you most excited to see at the convention? >> i already saw him, ted cruz's father. that was it. >> he's the one that killed john f. kennedy, right? >> mr. trump understands that we have power through might. he's a wonderful negotiator, and he's going to be awesome. >> if something bad is happening, he's standing at a urinal, he can just tuck it back in and go. and hillary clinton, she's going to be like, i'm wiping! i'm wiping! come on, we got to go! i'm wiping over here. i'm wiping. that's why we need donald trump. >> thank you. >> thank you. good-bye. >> and the health of our country. >> charles in charge. charles in charge of our nights and our women's reproductive rights. >> you did it, scott. that was beautiful. nothing says the future like an actor from the '70s that played a guy from the '50s. scott baio. >> i would have picked you. he's hilarious. i love this guy. chicken parm. chicken parm. >> whoo! oh, my gosh, it's him! it's him! i i've got to stay up for this. >> it's my great honor to present the next first lady. >> yes! ♪ >> yes! oh, my god, she received him. she received him. >> donald trump is ecstatic about cleveland. >> he loves cleveland. he loves cleveland, talks about it in his book, think big and kick ass. i was having some trouble with the crime family and had to get out of new jersey. i decided to hang out in cleveland. i said, what's good in town? he said, you have to try a cleveland steamer. he took me to the chocolate whistle stop. the smell was ungodly. wow, what a bunch of freaks. see you guys. >> oh, there you are. oh, i'm sorry, i thought you were my mom. i'm so sorry. [ cheers and applause ] >> they got the delegates! they got the delegates! it's all happening, like in my dream! >> it is my honor to be able to throw donald trump over the top in the delegate count tonight. 89 delegates! >> it's happening! it's happening! [ cheers and applause ] that's our guy! that's our donny! that's our donny! i did this. i did this. in my dreams. in my dreams, i made this happen! pinch me! it's a dream, pinch me! >> well, jake, you did it, buddy. what do you think don would say now? i'll tell you what donald without say. your support has been huge! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thanks. we have a great show tonight. colin hay is here, george lopez is here. and we'll be right back with viggo mortensen, so stick around! 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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back. tonight, he's a very funny guy with a new all-star tour called "comedy get down." george lopez is here. then, maybe the most underrated artist of the '80s. you know him from the band men at work. his latest album is called "next year people." the great colin hay from the studio stage. next week on the show, danny mcbride, david spade, andy garcia, greg kinnear, bryce dallas howard, ozzy and jack osbourne will be here, dana white from the ufc, and we will have music from prophets of rage, the go-go's and the strokes. our first guest tonight is a terrific actor whom you know from the "lord of the rings" trilogy and many films in which he doesn't wear chainmail. his new movie is called "captain fantastic," it's in theatres now. please welcome viggo mortensen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how's it going? >> i come bearing gifts. >> jimmy: that's nice. i wish more guests brought me gifts. >> you're a mets fan. >> jimmy: i am, are you? >> this is tom seaver, 1972. >> jimmy: i had this card when i was a kid, and i think my mom threw it away. we used to flip these. have you ever done that? >> yes. >> jimmy: it's like a nice entry into gambling. i guess i should show these to the audience. is this darryl? >> probably the man that looked the best in a baseball uniform. >> jimmy: i never imagined you as a baseball collecting kind of guy. >> i have soccer cards, baseball cards. >> jimmy: you don't have to apologize. >> and to bring it to today, david wright. >> jimmy: thank you very much. >> and this is my mom. >> jimmy: can i show her? your mom played baseball, huh? >> it's not signed but it's authentic. >> jimmy: my mom is an old lady. >> i have one more. i know the producers, some of them are here, from the movie. but this is a team i like. i grew up with, san lorenzo soccer team, argentina. it's not the team jersey, but it's a jersey that i made. >> jimmy: you made this? >> on the occasion of the centennial in 2008. and i give them out to fans, i was going to give it to you in 2008. i was thinking maybe i would have been invited. >> jimmy: i'm very impressed by that. >> better late than never. i washed this one. >> jimmy: wow, that's something else. all this stuff is very exciting. you -- this is a photograph that, now, this is your team. what's the name? >> san lorenzo. >> jimmy: you're a season ticketholder. >> where did you get the picture? >> jimmy: somebody gave it to me. will you sign it and i'll keep it with my baseball cards? >> that's the look, during the shoot for "captain fantastic." i look very serious, but we were playing for the championship of all latin america, which we've never won, and we won. >> jimmy: oh, yeah? >> this was at half-time, and it wasn't looking promising at that point. >> jimmy: and you decided to commemorate that dark moment. >> but we won. >> jimmy: that's pretty exciting. this movie "captain fantastic," sounds like a superhero movie, but it's not. i'm going to be honest with you. i watched the first part of it, and it just stopped on me, and i spent the rest of the night cursing at my television. tell everybody what the idea of this movie is. >> i play a father with a big beard. and six children. >> jimmy: yes. >> and we live in the middle of the forest, off the grid. and at the heart of it, it's a road trip movie. we take a bus. an old school bus we converted into a lab, and study place, classroom. and we drive across the country to crash a funeral. a funeral of the kids' mom. we were warned by the grandparents that i will be arrested if i go. but the kids convinced me that i should go. >> jimmy: it's the old funeral crashing movie. do you need to prepare to get into that mindset, live in the woods or do any of the stuff that actors tend to do? >> we had a boot camp where we did rock climbing, martial arts, had to skin a few goats. >> jimmy: did the goats know it was for a movie, were they excited? >> they were in the union, it was cool. >> jimmy: had you ever skinned a goat before? >> to be honest, it was actually sheep. apologies to the goats. it was the two middle girls, it was a brood, three girls, three boys. the girls have to skin a deer. it's a family movie. it really is. >> jimmy: these little girls and audition for a movie. and by the way, you know the little animals that put you to sleep in storybooks? imagine them with with no wool or flesh. >> i don't know if it's in the contract. here's your knife. i don't know. that's a good question. >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. when we come back, we'll show a clip from the movie. it's called "captain fantastic." viggo mortensen is here. 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(vo) but with nationwide it's no big deal. okay, your retirement plan is all set. nationwide? awesome. nice neighborhood. ♪ nationwide is on your side hey there. hi, i'm looking for a deal on an iphone... ...i was thinking, something along these lines. oh, okay. well, how about this? here's my answer. is this you with a dinosaur body? it's just me with happy hands... it just means i'll take it. right now, buy an iphone and get another one free when you add a second line. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i just picked us up 2 breakfast croissants for $4, when this bear attacked. with one swipe, it devoured one of the croissants. then jack showed up, and took care of the beast, so i could escape. and that's what happened to your breakfast croissant. and yours? it survived. enjoy freshly cracked egg with ham and bacon. or sausage. two tasty croissants at an even tastier $4 price. it's a deal you'll devour. william. >> that almost hit me! if i wanted to hit you, i would have hit you. >> you just shot an arrow at me. >> you told me they're in school. >> they are, leslie and i were their teachers. >> you're teaching them to steal. >> that was part of their training. >> so you're training them to ste steal. >> jimmy: that's viggo mortensen in "captain fantastic," in theaters now. >> i misspoke earlier. in the movie, there are seven kids. and the only digital thing in the movie, it's not like "the revenan revenan revenant," we had to remove one of the children, a lovely 4-year-old girl, pink cheeks, curly hair, looked like shirley temple, this thing with the bow and arrow, a weird thing that frank langella brought to the part. he said, i can't do the scene unless i have my weapons. and i said, what does that mean? we're just talking, right? he says, i'm going to shoot, i have very good aim, i won't hurt them. but he was always walking around, sometimes shooting into the sky and running. he clipped one of the kids. >> jimmy: oh, no, he did not. >> he clipped the little redhead. he clipped shirley temple, she's fine now, but she wasn't able to continue with the production. so, it's a very effective scene. perhaps i shouldn't have told you. >> jimmy: perhaps, perhaps. perhaps it's not even really true. i can't even tell. i hope it's not true. >> no. >> jimmy: sounds like the kids went through a lot. do you know any other viggos? >> it's a danish name, it's my dad's name, sort of through the centuries, every first born male has that name, either as a middle name, it's not common. when i was born, it was like calling your kid otto, oswald, hildegard. now, there's a lot of little kids, i get, i think because of "lord of the rings," people, because he's sort of a viking guy. >> jimmy: people want to name their children. >> mostly, it's animals, though. a lot of cats, a lot of ferrets. and mostly dogs. and mostly, like, dogs that are clearly, should i say, what would be correct? unwanted. one-eyed, three-legged. you know what i mean. >> jimmy: imperfect. >> here's viggo, you know? >> jimmy: i don't know if you ever think about this, but you are america's favorite viggo. you are. and i don't know if you have business cards, but -- >> there's a danish connection on the new york mets, cindegaard. >> jimmy: you must love him, huh? >> the way you pronounce him in danish, completely different. it means farm of sin. or farm of evil. >> jimmy: so, like -- really? >> take another look at him. >> jimmy: that's going to be intimidating for the opposing batters. i wish we'd known that in the world series last year. a good bit of baseball trivia from viggo mortensen. see "captain fantastic" in theaters right now. we'll be right back with george lopez. 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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back. our next guest is a very funny man, his new "comedy get down" tour is coming to your town, please say hello to george lopez. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: it's very good to see you. have you been watching this convention, the republican national convention? >> oh, yeah, of course. >> jimmy: you like watching that stuff? >> well, trump has said some very disparaging stuff about my people. called us criminals and rapists, so when i see him, i'm going to rob him and [ bleep ] him. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i never really said my plan before. >> jimmy: it's a solid plan, a good platform. >> how can we pretend that melania trump speaks english? my husband, trying to -- this country doesn't mind accents, as long as they're not mexican ones. you know arnold schwartzenegger -- >> jimmy: that was the take they chose. that's the one they used? >> what about when he had a baby with his maid, and he said it wasn't his baby. and the baby had the big forehead, and started talking -- mom, i want it now! no, little arnold, now. >> jimmy: i swear i had this conversation this morning, i wonder if after arnold had sex with the maid, he made her make the bed? well, she is the maid. she has a job to do. >> she shows up on friday, i'll let you know tomorrow. >> jimmy: this is very interesting. i know you love golf, you play all over the country, all over the world. donald trump owns a lot of golf courses. do you ever run into him? >> i played with him, like nine years ago. we played on father's day. it tells you what kind of fathers we both are. so, we play at a trump place in new jersey. i'm waiting for him, he's not there. i'm looking for cars. they say he's coming, i'm looking down the road. there's a black dot in the sky. he lands on the driving range in his helicopter. the trump helicopter, the most impressive entrance anybody could have. we play golf, and he says, you want to stick around for lunch? and i said, yeah. we're stilling there, there's a grilled cheese sandwich, he has a big bratwurst, he's putting yellow mustard on. and we walk into the kitchen, all these little eyes started to appear at the window. when donald trump is sitting down, all these little latino chefs come out, they bring carnitas, rice, tortillas, corn and flour. and donald trump says, is this on the menu? they say, no, senor trump. it's george lopez. he says, when trump is here, i get a bratwurst. he says, when george lopez is here, he gets a buffet. and they said, mr. trump, george lopez? i think that's the day he decided to do the wall. >> jimmy: that's when the spark came. last time anthony anderson was here, we were talking about you, because you went on a golf trip. >> to hawaii. >> jimmy: anthony said you guys roomed together. which seemed odd to me. >> it is odd. and anthony says to me, i think i got us a suite. we're staying together. you and me. we're grown men. he always gets there early to get the bigger room. >> jimmy: i see, of the two rooms. >> he got a room with a millipede in it, about six feet long. and i hear, ah! grabbed my camera, he's chasing this millipede around. >> jimmy: we have it on video. [ screaming ] that's the sound you made. >> [ bleep ]! >> jimmy: look at the size of the monster in the bucket. that's like a snake. >> and when we go to dinner, he acts the same way when they bring the check. >> jimmy: is anthony thrifty? >> he's incredibly thrifty. >> jimmy: he's lost a lot of weight. >> he has, but he's a little bit diabet diabetic. one time, he was at my house, and i said, i got some desserts. he was like, i'm a diabetic. in the morning, they were all gone. >> jimmy: he's a hungry diabetic. you play golf, your group is anthony, don cheadle, and cheech marin is there. you have like a little golf tournament. >> every year, we have a golf tournament called the brownie cup. you play nine holes completely sober, and on the ninth tee, you cut a brownie is half, and everybody eats the brownie. and you count every shot on the way in. >> jimmy: so, this isn't a duncan hines brownie. >> no, this is a medical marijuana brownie. and you drink a double vodka cranberry at the turn, and you get so high. >> jimmy: i bet. >> we're in the middle of the fairway, the 14th hole, and cheech is like, i think i saw the ball. i said, i hit the ball, and anthony is like, i think it's over here. and cheech is like, i saw it go down in the middle. 25 minutes later, i put my hand in the pocket, i'm like, hey, man, i haven't hit. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: this tour that you're on, why is it called "the get down"? >> it used to be called the black and brown comedy get down. and people said, why is it about race, and why is it only you? and i said, when you hire one of us, you do four jobs. so, we decided to call it the comedy get down. >> jimmy: who's on the tour? >> myself, cedric the entertainer, d.l. hughley, charlie murphy, and eddie griffin. >> jimmy: eddie, he's a crazy guy, right? >> he's crazy. drinks champagne and patron. that will make you crazy. >> jimmy: is it fun? >> not one show in the year and a half has started on time. [ laughter ] and they drag me down with them. [ laughter ] i'm there at 5:00 p.m., i'm getting ready, making carnitas, tacos. and i'm on stage, i was like, i was on time until i started to work with black people. it's hard to be late, you got a clock on your phone, your watch, your iphone. in the old days, it was on the microwave, you're like, push clear. oh! >> jimmy: go see george live this summer on "the comedy get down" tour. thanks, george. we'll be right back with colin hay. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i'd like to thank my guests. and apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time. "nightline" is next. but first, his album is called "next year people." here with the song "if i had been a better man," colin hay! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ there were kings and queens and could have beens and pretenders to ♪ ♪ the throne i was a sweet contender then now my seeds ♪ ♪ they've all been sown i scorched the earth behind me ♪ ♪ i could have made a better plan if i had been a better man ♪ ♪ my promises were not to keep but thrown into the dirt ♪ ♪ there must be more i told myself as i buttoned up my shirt ♪ ♪ well i could paint myself in glory now and be proud of who i am if i had been a better man ♪ ♪ stumbling through deep suburbs in my mind as secrets of ♪ ♪ silence unwind i will sing you so long now only love ♪ ♪ only love makes me strong your charity i took as mine ♪ ♪ i claimed it as my own i followed my ascending star ♪ ♪ to far away from home i was mesmerized by shiny things ♪ ♪ now in frozen time i stand if i had been a better man ♪ ♪ now i'm kneeling and i'm digging deep deep into the ground i'm searching for ♪ ♪ my soul to keep like a buried treasure found in dreams i speak ♪ ♪ in ancient tongues lost in wind and sand if only i had been a better man ♪ ♪ ♪ if i had been a better man if i had been a better man ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that was great. thank you. thank you. colin hay, everyone. good night. very nice. > this is "nightline." tonight, trump, with his family by his side, accepting his party's nomination, painting a bleak picture of america. plus, being trump. how did he go from businessman to reality star to presidential nominee? from growing up in queens, new york, to his time in military school, to the building of an empire. and, shakeup at fox.