>> jimmy: hope you have a great weekend. true to the death, the worst possible thing that could happen to anyone, happened to me at 3:15 p.m. on friday my wifi went out. and i would say it was a nightmare but nightmares don't last for four days. i was almost completely cut off from the outside world. it's funny how quickly you forget how everything works swo. i was like i can't go online, let's watch netflix. no, pandora. no spotify, no apple tv, nothing. even when i tried to look the number up to call the company to tell them the internet doesn't work, i had to go on the int internet and then two hours on the phone friday night with is the red light still flashing? okay can i put you on hold and you know they're smoking or something. it was terrible. i almost broke down and opened a book. i came this close and we're on day 2350ifive of not being able stick my daughter in front of "curious george" for four hours. let me tell you, when i'm vice president, the wifi will never go out. [ applause ] it's as simple as that. wifi goes out, i'll grab the head of the company, throw the son of a -- right in prison and anyone forced to spend anymore than 40 minutes on the phone will be awarded the vice presidential medal of freedom. [ applause ] guillermo, you had a rough weekend to? my brother in law called me and said guillermo got a concussion over the weekend. what happened? >> i was playing soccer and the guy hit me right here. >> jimmy: were you the goalie? >> yeah. >> jimmy: so, it went right in your forehead? and you weren't protected by all the jell you keep in your hair? >> no, it was sunday. >> jimmy: i would think the ball would pop if it hits your head. >> no, but it was sunday. >> jimmy: oh, you don't use gel on sunday. #no gel sundays. wow. [ applause ] and then you had the concussion and went to the doctor and you're okay now? >> yeah, they gave me a shot and say it take a couple days for the headache to go away. >> jimmy: what did your wife say? [ laughter] >> my wife got real mad. she said i cannot believe a 45 years old man playing soccer. you know what, forget it. no more sex. if you keep playing soccer, no more sex. >> jimmy: well this sounds like a convenient way to get out of sex with you. >> no more soccer. >> jimmy: but you had or had no wifi? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: still had a better weekend than i did. [ applause ] here's something i was unable to comment on because of my wifi feasko. because it was memorial day, a big day for grilling, barbecuing, that sort of thing. apparently there was a debate online buabout whether or not a hot dog is a sandwich. bring me my podium. one thing i've learned in this campaign is people really love podiums. it's crazy. on friday of last week, my fellow of americans. the people that edit the marie m webster dictionary said that that hot dog with a bun is a sandwich. that's their definition. by my dedefinition, a hot dog ia hot bun. if you went in a hot dog and ordered a meat tube sandwich, they'd probably call the cops on you. if haot dogs are sandwiches, thn cereal is soup. chew on that one for a while. hamburger not a sandwich either. that's right. this will be written into the law. please, remove this podium. [ applause ] ♪ all right. i'm done with that now. [ laughter] hey, did you watch that basketball game last night? [ applause ] they had 16 million viewers. the most watched telecast of an nba game ever. the warriors were down 3-1 and they came back to win it. coming back from being down three games to one is big, but the longest shot in the arena last night was this gentleman. if you zoom in, burn burn was at the game and he's with danny glover. it was funny. i get that bernie has to sit in the crappy seats to keep the homeland of the people thing and danny glover has to say great, i'm at game seven in this seat. his best friend from child hood was moses. the moses. bernie sanders and donald trump were both here. and unfortunately, over the weekend, both bernie and his supporters got fired up and started a hashtag. that's when you went know it's serious. #chicken trump. it sounds like a nickname donald trump would give donald trump if he wasn't donald trump. have you ever been to panda express? people love orange chicken. [ applause ] there won't be a trump-sanders debate, which was probably a good decision for donald. did you see him at the bike rally? here he is in slow and tell. >> look at all these bikers. do we love the bikers? yes. we love the bikers. all over the place, no matter where i go, there's bikers and they come with the bikers and the booikes are all over. [ applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: donald trump got a big indorsement from the north korean state media. for real. they praised him for being a wild politician and said hillary clinton is dull. so, that's a nice feather in his cap. of course, north korea indorsed donald trump. they want at least one other country to have a leader with worst hair than theirs. and it was the next season of the "bachelor et." every year i say i'm not going to get sucked in and i do. every year there's a guy or gal the contestants can't stand. you know the biggest jerk you hope to never see again the day after you graduated? that's chad. he's in luxury real estate, threatened to punch one guy's teeth out. on his first date, he called her naggy, which in my experience, women love. he's what you would get if you inject human growth hormone into a nickel back album. and chad has a side kick, it's daniel. that's daniel. he follows chad around, agrees with whatever he says and they even wore matching black tank tops and had incredible conversations like this one. >> i think sok jo jo wants a ma. i can't see her falling in love with a childish guy like some of these guys. >> if you're making a protein shake and blended it up, half of that dude protein shake would be zero chance. >> exactly. i mean, what? you know what this show needs? someone who in the moment a statement like that is made, stetches in and calls him on it. something like this. >> if you're making a protein shake made of the group of dudes here and blended it up, what kind of shake do you get? zero chance. >> dude, that makes no -- sense, man. [ applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, guillermo. [ applause ] all right, so last week on the show we met these two adorability senior citizens. grandma and ginga. they make these videos on youtube where grandchildren tape them fighting and it's hilarious. last week i asked them to watch "game of thrones." and here's a snippet of what they thought of it. >> can you tell me how long this is going to last? >> that was a little man. how do you like this part? [ bleep] [ bleep] >> jimmy: she didn't like it. so, when we come back, grandma and ginga are hooere to review "game of thrones." versus the lube strip. with a hydrating gel reservoir that gives you 40% less friction. it's designed like no other razor to protect from irritation. sorry, lube strip. schick hydro®. free your skin®. innovative sonicare technology with up to 27% more brush movements versus oral b. get healthier gums in 2 weeks guaranteed. innovation and you. philips sonicare. save when you buy the most loved rechargeable toothbrush brand in america. today's the day! oh look! creepy gloves for my feet. when i was a kid there was a handle. and a face. this is nice. does it come in a california king? getting roid rage. hemorrhoid. these are the worst, right? i'm gonna buy them. boom. i'll take them. impulse buy. ommmmmmmmmmm. presenting the american express blue cash everyday card with cash back on purchases. it's all happening. and no annual fee. here we go! cash back on purchases. backed by the service and security of american express. cash back on purchases. t-mobile does data, differently. while the other guys gouge you for every bit of data you use, now, t-mobile lets you stream all the video and music that you want from your favorite services. free! without using one bit of your lte data. plus, you can roll your unused data forward. nobody does data like t-mobile. switch today and get three lines for just $40 bucks each and your 4th line is free. [ applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: tonight on the show music from josh abbott band. from "silicon valley" thomas middleditch is here. last week on the show i chatted with two incredible sisters from clarksbering, virginia. grandma's 102, and ginga's 97. i asked them to watch and review "game of thrones." here's a clip of them watching the show. >> that boy on the horse. >> is he going to marry her? [ phone ringing] >> my toes are getting numb. >> what? >> my toes are getting numb. >> what? >> my toes are getting numb. >> jimmy: grandma and ginga. hello, ladies. [ applause ] hi, there. how are you? >> we're fine. >> jimmy: my first question and i'll ask both of you, in your opinion is a hot dog a sandwich? >> no, it's a hot dog. [ applause ] >> you're quite welcome. >> we sure got some good hot dogs in west virginia. >> jimmy: do you really? >> d and l is the best place. >> jimmy: what do you put on your hot dog? >> chilly, musterard and onions. >> jimmy: and you ginga? >> same thing. >> and hot pepper. >> we want our hot dogs to be hot. yeah, in west virginia. >> jimmy: so, i asked tootyou t watch game "game of thrones" -- [ phone ringing] >> jimmy: oh, no, your deafening phone -- >> i can't hear it. [ laughter] and that dam phone has to ring right now. can you imagine? >> jimmy: i know it's crazy. >> i thought we disconnected it. it's connected. >> jimmy: what shows do you usually watch on television? >> i watch the dancers. >> jimmy: the dancing stars? >> yeah. and i can't remember all the names. >> jimmy: how about you, ginga? >> i like "law and order." anything murder. yes. >> all those old movies. >> jimmy: have you ever seen "game of thrones" before today? is. >> no. >> jimmy: and did you like it? >> um, no. i think they're crazy. i don't understand it. >> jimmy: what didn't you understand? >> well, if that was a wife or whether they were going to run away with somebody else and i never did see that baby. i thought maybe they killed him. >> did you see a naked woman? >> and i was waiting for a woman to ride a horse naked. i never did see her but i saw the naked horse. >> jimmy: i was disappointed in that too. there were no naked people this week. >> no. that was lousy. >> jimmy: so, overall -- is there anything we could pass along to the people who make the show that would make it better for you? >> candle light movie. >> jimmy: what does that mean? >> we couldn't see anything. >> couldn't see anything. just the candles. >> jimmy: so, maybe if they brightened it up, you would watch it? >> no. hell, no. >> i liked on the stage when the man dies, you know. i liked that. >> jimmy: okay. all right. >> no, not me. >> jimmy: you didn't like it at all? >> i didn't like anything of it. >> jimmy: well, we have one more clip of you guys watching it. let's take a look at that now. >> now we're going to see some action. >> what kind of animal is that flying? >> now i'm getting hungry. >> i'm all numb. is that the end? >> hurray. >> thank god it's gone. >> he doesn't want us to see this over again. >> i'll die first. >> jimmy: so, you didn't like it. so, i was going to ask if you want to watch another episode. maybe we could send you to see the new "teen age mutant ninja" turtles. >> okay. >> jimmy: if you go see the movie and tell us whether it's good or not and whether we should go watch it? >> no, i don't want to watch anything. >> jimmy: i think we've lost them but we'll get grandma and ginga back. [ applause ] thank you, ladies. all right, thank you, grandma and ginga. >> jimmy: tonight on the show music from josh abbott band. from "silicon valley" thomas middleditch is here. and we'll be right back with megan fox. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ the new ford escape. life is a sport. we are the utility. be unstoppable. >> jimmy: i know you have a concussion but because you're not drinking tonight, you're more coherent than you usually are. okawhoa!ady? [ explosion ] nothing should get in the way of the things you love. ♪ get america's fastest internet. only from xfinity. ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: a very funny actor from the very funny show "sillicon valley" thomas middleditch is here. and josh abbott band is here. and special programming, game one of the nba finals on abc. so, mariah carey, jimmy butler and a new all nba edition of mean tweets thursday night here on abc. please join us for that. our first guest was a typical girl until she was bitten by a radioactive fox. she skouers the turtles. out of the showers. ♪ >> o'neale. ♪ >> jimmy: please welcome meagan fox. [ applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: can i just say my whole life i wanted to slide under a door just as it was about to close with some sort of villains on the other side. is that as good as it looks? >> that wasn't me. they had me on a piece of plexiglass and very gingerly pulled me with a fan blowing my hair. >> jimmy: so, you don't do your own stunts? >> i do but not that one. >> jimmy: you were just here and now bam, a baby's in there. >> i was already in my second trimester, i just had on three pairs of spanx and really harnessing that in. cozy, warm, totally safe. >> jimmy: do you feel like you lied to me coming out here pregnant and not indicating it in any way? >> do you feel i owe you that sort of intimate referimation. >> jimmy: i'm going to be vice president. >> who is your president? >> i don't require a president. >> then why don't you just run for president? >> jimmy: i figured i'd take baby steps toward the white house and this is the first. you have two sons. >> 3 and 2. >> jimmy: do you they what's about to happen? >> i've shown them with a baby doll how it's going to turn upside down and where it's coming out. >> jimmy: oh, they do? >> they know. they know all that. the little one, body thinks it's funny you're going to feed a baby with your boobies. >> jimmy: that is funny, in a way. >> they don't know. they think it sounds normal. >> jimmy: the attention may shift? >> the older one's aware but he's excited. >> jimmy: your baby talks to you from the inside? >> well, not like you hear an audible voice, but i feel like you receive messages from the child if you're open to it. >> jimmy: like get me a pizza? >> no, i mean, they don't have teeth. that would be a challenge. things like this baby wanted me to live somewhere else. so, we're moving to a whole different place in los angeles, because i feel like that's where this baby wants to be raised. >> jimmy: for real? >> yeah, and i feel the baby is telling me it's elon musk. like, a super genius. >> jimmy: well, if this baby is able to convince you to move out of your house, it is a super genius or a realtor. it might be a baby realtor you have. have you seen your baby on a bus bench in the neighborhood? >> i have. >> jimmy: so, when you tell bryan austin green, your husband, the baby wants us to move, does he go, let me talk to the baby? >> no, he trusts me at this point because i've made so many good calls calls. i know it sounds crazy like i'm a lunetic. >> jimmy: yes. i mean, no not at all. >> i'll always listen. >> jimmy: but moving is a big thing. >> i don't think an infant is going to say not this one, we need the one down the street. >> jimmy: the little one might say i need to live in sleeping beauty's castle. >> we can't make magic happen, but do you just ignore your children when they ask you for things they want? >> jimmy: no, but if they told me we need to move, i'd say is a ghost in the house? >> i feel i would thrive in that environment as opposed to this one. >> jimmy: i would hit them right in the head. we don't use words like thrive in my family. it's not one of our words. well, congratulations. that's very exciting and you look very beautiful as well. [ applause ] is it easier this time? >> it's easier -- because i've had a baby every other year since 2012. your body gets usesed to it but with the first one i was really afraid something was going to go wrong and the second one was so soon after the first, it was all a blur and this one i'm a little more relaxed, but because i know how much it hurts and as we're getting closer, i do still get nervous about that because that pain is no joke. >> jimmy: i know. >> oh, do you know? >> jimmy: you know how i know? my wife tells me every three days. but i think if it's that bad , u i'd have one and no more. >> well, i guess you forget, in furtherance of the human race. i have no middle name yet. we're still searching. >> jimmy: now, guillermo's got a hopper over there. the first balls are what? what are in there? >> this is first names. >> jimmy: bird names. >> yes. >> jimmy: and the second is candle scents. okay. so, if you really want to leave this to the gods. >> okay. >> jimmy: this is the way to do i mean, really. >> okay. >> jimmy: go crazy. there we go. all right. read the bird name first. >> tucan. mountain lodge. >> jimmy: megan fox everybody. 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(both) noo way. i can afford that! 23 cents. do you have a quarter? hahaha the all new 2016 chevy malibu hybrid. it's just so smart. hey there, can i help you with anything? hey siri, what's at&t's latest offer? oh, i don't think that siri can... right now, switch to at&t for an iphone and get one free. wow, is that right? yeah, it's basically... yes. that is the current offer from at&t. okay siri, you don't know everything. well, i know you asked me to call you the at&t hostess with the mostest. okay, shut her down. turn it off. right now, buy an iphone and get another one free when you add a second line. ♪ wannwith sodastreamter? you turn plain water into sparkling water in seconds. and because it's so delicious, you'll drink 43% more water every day. sodastream. love your water. ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back. thomas middleditch and josh abbott band are on the way. but before that, our own guillermo has been volunteering recently doing some very good work at the cheetos museum that's right, there is a cheetos museum and guillermo has arranged a tour especially for you. >> welcome to the cheetos museum. that's me right there. this is a cheeto snack is a dog with two legs. >> very interesting. >> this looks like a tiny saxophone, but it's not. it's a cheetah saxophone. i know. [ ooh, aah] >> a flamingo. a sail boat. a fax machine. evolution. my mother in law. i don't looike this one. and our crown jewel, a cheetah snack in the shape of a crown. ♪ we've been robbed. [ alarm] >> announcer: this summer find, save and submit the unique shapes you find in your cheetos for a chance to win $50,000. >> jimmy: we'll be right back with thomas middleditch. ♪ whatcha gonna do when you get outta here? ♪ ♪ i'm gonna have some fun! ♪ ♪ what do you consider fun? ♪ fun, natural fun. ♪ yeah, we rocking right now. ♪ ♪ it's a party over here. ♪ hey! ♪ i'm in heaven! ♪ ♪ owww. ♪ ♪ ♪ take on the unexpected with a car that could stop for you. nissan safety shield technologies, available in the altima, sentra and maxima. today's the day! oh look! creepy gloves for my feet. when i was a kid there was a handle. and a face. this is nice. does it come in a california king? getting roid rage. hemorrhoid. these are the worst, right? i'm gonna buy them. boom. i'll take them. impulse buy. ommmmmmmmmmm. presenting the american express blue cash everyday card with cash back on purchases. it's all happening. and no annual fee. here we go! cash back on purchases. backed by the service and security of american express. cash back on purchases. yyou'll love it as a grown up. it's time for a spaghet-together! only at olive garden. enjoy a new deep dish spaghetti pie topped with chicken alfredo a new spaghetti infused with flavor. or, create your own with your choice of 5 homemade sauces. starting at $12.99 with unlimited salad and breadsticks. why not give them a twirl? let's make spaghetti fun again. olive garden. we're all family here. if you've ever been lured in straight talk. by a low price wireless plan then there's not enough high-speed data or your bill is packed with overages and mystery fees... stop falling for it! with straight talk's unlimited plan, you get america's largest, most dependable 4g lte networks. no contract, no tricks. and five gigs of high-speed data for just forty-five dollars a month. it's time to ask yourself... why haven't i switched? get a samsung galaxy s7 or bring your own phone. find out more at straighttalkswitch.com ♪ >> jimmy: our next guest is a very funny gentleman with a name like a character from "downton abbey." he stars on the great show "silicon valley." it airs sunday nights on hbo-please welcome thomas middleditch. ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: wow. if megan fox gets a load of that, she's going to go right home with you. >> that's the dream. >> jimmy: you road this hear, i heard? >> yeah, i live pretty close. i'm a hollywood cat. >> jimmy: how far will you go with something like that? >> you can't go too far. there's a limited range. i rocked a good journey to silver lake once to inspect various arm tattoos and fidoras. or you could bring your charger. it's very convenient. you notice i have a horn. chrome grips. deck tape. >> jimmy: this is something you got from someone on the show? i see, because the show is tech oriented, you get a lot of stuff? >> we get some gadgets. we actually all got these gadgets and you have a photo. >> jimmy: i have a photo of the whole cast with their scooters. >> and matching jackets. >> jimmy: for the most part. and this is something -- do you all ride them around? >> we got these scooters and then i left and all the boys were hanging out and they were in the middle of discussing, pretty much demanding that we all have matching jackets, because that would be cool. >> jimmy: awesome, yeah. >> so, we're deciding what's it going to say on the back? and it was agreed upon it should say "rude boys on the lot." because apparently we're the rude boys and we're on the sony lot. we're so not rude though. we've scooted around and within two minutes, the security is like you can't use those bicycles only. and instead of screw it, we're rude. we're like, i'll put them back. >> jimmy: that's scooter-type behavior. by the way, i love the show. it's so very funny. [ applause ] is it really your first big show you've been on? >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: well, you do a great job on it. i'd never seen you before the show and i was like who is that guy? >> it's this. yeah, small town canadian. >> jimmy: i don't know what goes on in sillicon valley but i watch the show and sunday night it's so specific, those little details or things you pick up from people as you meet them or is it entirely scripted out for you? >> all the specifics and nods to the sillicon valley, that is a big hats off to the writers. they've got consultants and people they pillfer stories from and in 2urterms of where richar comes from, i've dabbled in the nerdy arts from time to time. i may know what a computer is. >> jimmy: have you ever built one on your own? >> yes, i have. >> jimmy: oh, that's serious then. you're from british columbia. >> in the mountains there. and my parents are ex-pat british people, if you couldn't guess it by thomas middleditch, born out of a charles dickens novel. >> very downtown abbey. >> i grew up with all types of pies. >> jimmy: what did your parents do for a livinliving? >> my mother was teacher and my dad was a principal. i got in trouble for hiding under a curtain and he was like [ in british accent] my own son? he made me my own lines, like i will not hide -- >> jimmy: from his point of view, how difficult it would be to have your own son hiding in the curtains. >> of all things. that's a pretty rude thing to do. maybe this rude is going to stick afterall. who is that bad kid in the curtains, thomas middleditch, he's going to skip out of school. never did. perfect attendance. >> jimmy: when people send you the stuff, besides this, do you use any of it, or just give it away to your assistant or anything? is there anything you would like to request? >> i would like a hot air balloon. my own private zepline. >> jimmy: i heard you're a big fan of the "bachelor" does it extend to the "bachelorette." >> ha-ha. chad. he's a cartoon villain. i hope he stays around for so many more episodes, poor guy. >> jimmy: i was so mad he got a rose but of course you want him to continue on the show. >> he makes good points. all these people -- i'm going to get -- >> jimmy: you're going to side with chad? >> i kind of do. they've met the person for five minutes and they're like, he's just so mazing and i feel like i'm falling in love all over again and you're like you don't know the person and chad is the only one like i call bull -- >> jimmy: did chad say that? >> you need to rewatch last night's episode. that was his whole game? >> jimmy: really? because i thought his game was i'm better than these guys. >> for sure. that's also part of his game and pointing at people in their face. >> jimmy: what about daniel? the side kick? >> he's a bummer. first episode and gets super drunk and diving in the pool. of course, he's the canadian guy. i was so bummed out. they're like, you're getting started drinking and he's like, oh, aye, right on, buddy. you're killing me, daniel. >> jimmy: well, it was very nice to meet you. >> jimmy: thomas middleditch. "silicon valley" airs sundays at 10pm on hbo. and when we return music from josh abbott band. >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by samsung. people love my portobello mushroom buttery jack, made with portobello mushrooms, grilled onions, and garlic herb butter. ever wonder how i came up with it? well... actually, i came up with it at the water cooler. but i thought you'd like this cowboy story better. the portobello mushroom buttery jack is back. part of the buttery jack family. taste it before it's gone. ♪ amsleep number beds with you with sleepiq technology give you the knowledge to adjust for the best sleep ever. it's the semi-annual sale! save $500 on the memorial day special edition mattress with sleepiq technology. know better sleep. only at a sleep number store. >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i want to thank megan fox, thomas middleditch and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. nightline is next, but first their album is called "front row seat." here with the song "wasn't that drunk" josh abbott band. ♪ she said to take a left ♪ small talk and old friends catching up on how you've been that smile i missed ♪ ♪ damn it's good to see you again ♪ ♪ i bought you a drink and i asked you to dance after a couple more rounds you were holding my hand ♪ ♪ next thing you know we're closing it down and we're sharing a cab back to your house ♪ ♪ i know we were laughing saying whatever happens we can blame it on the wine when the sun comes up ♪ ♪ if you're thinking it's because we were drinking well that don't mean that it don't mean much ♪ ♪ cause it did and it does the truth of it is i wasn't that drunk ♪ carly pierce, everyone. ♪ i was tipsy when you kissed me but that ain't why i kissed you back ♪ ♪ i'll be honest i've wanted to do that to do that do that ♪ ♪ oh so long and oh so bad then last night it happened so fast i'd do it over ♪ ♪ i wouldn't think twice cause lying here sober it still feels right ♪ ♪ i know we were laughing saying whatever happens we can blame it on the wine when the sun comes up ♪ ♪ if you're thinking it's because we were drinking well that don't mean that it don't mean much ♪ ♪ cause it did and it does the truth of it is i wasn't that drunk ♪ ♪ i want you to know it wasn't just the heat of the moment ♪ ♪ i know we were laughing saying whatever happens we can blame it on the wine when the sun comes up ♪ ♪ if you're thinking it's because we were drinking well that don't mean that it don't mean much ♪ ♪ cause it did and it does and the truth of it is i wasn't that drunk oh i wasn't that drunk ooh ♪ [ applause ] ♪ this is "nightline." tonight, the fallout from the killing of a 450 pound endangered guerilla to save a toddler. new details on the investigation. the online mom shaming and many wondering did the silverback have to die? not happy with donald trump? for hillary clinton, could this be a moment for the third party to rise up? meet the libertarian. go inside the libertarian convention but are they more burning man than commander and chief. she lost her arm in a shark attack and was back on the water in less than a month and now she's crushing the waves