I want to begin by sending special well wishes to our viewers in oklahoma who are in a state of emergency. In oklahoma last night they introduced an emergency bill to keep transgender people from using the bathroom. Thats right. This is the bill. It declares, quote, for the pezpe preservation of the Public Health and safety, an emergency is hereby to exist. This is a good time to call your family members in oklahoma to make sure theyre okay. How can this be an emergency . How many transgender people can there there be in oklahoma . Four. Who do you call when a man walks into a womens bathroom dressed as a woman, the Fashion Police . I have had bathroom emergencies. This is not one of them. [ applause ] jimmy i once had to abandon my car in the left lane of traffic, get in and run into an asian restaurant called pick up sticks, by the way. That was a bathroom emergency. This is ill tell you something. This will all change when im Vice President of these united states. Please, bring out the podium. [ applause ] jimmy i want to have this podium because i have a major announcement to make. My fellow americans, though i have only been officially running for Vice President for eight days, those who know me know ive been fighting for common sense issues for my entire adult life, and at the top of my list, my number one issue is this. These insanely long receipts they give you at cvs. Number one. [ applause ] i dont know about you, but i want to live in an america where the receipt you get for buying one roll of toilet paper is shorter than the roll of toilet paper. Ive been talking about this for years. Ive yelled and screamed. I personally asked president obama to do something about this. He did nothing, and then something changed. I declared my candidacy for Vice President , and out of nowhere we got a phone call from the president of cvs pharmacy. Shes with us to make a major announcement. Please welcome here. [ applause ] jimmy thank you so much. Welcome. Thank you. Jimmy thank you for coming, helena. Please, tell us why youre here tonight. Well, thanks to you, jimmy, we knew our customers were very concerned about the length of you receipts. Jimmy they were too long. They were too long. And while were always worried about the concerns of our customers, when you announced your candidacy for Vice President , we took those concerns even more seriously. Jimmy thank you. [ applause ] so im here tonight to announce that cvs is moving our receipts to be digital. [ applause ] jimmy no paper. And if youre one of our 70 million extra care members, youll be able to sign up, choose digital receipts and youll never receive a paper printout from us again. Jimmy that is great news. When will this go into effect . This is starting very soon, and, in fact, it will be available at all 7900 cvs locations by the end of june. Jimmy thats all thanks to who . This is all thanks to you, jimmy kimmel. [ applause ] this is all thanks to you, Vice President kimmel. Jimmy thank you. Victory. Thank you very much. [ applause ] jimmy this is the kind of results i get. Before a single vote has even been counted im doing things. Youre welcome, america. There you go. There will be no littering when im Vice President either. Oh. Hey. We have a great show for you tonight. Bryan cranston is here with us tonight. Hes a wonderful man and actor. Hes promoting his new hbo movie about Lyndon B Johnson and how he lost his virginity. He went all the way. Bryan turned 60 in march. Its a milestone, and mtv was on hand to document the whole thing, and they gave us the exclusive premier. Nobody has seen this. Here it is. We are all invited to Bryan Cranstons birthday. Im turning 60 in a few weeks and my super sweet 60th has to be turned. Hi, im Bryan Cranston, six time Emmy Award Winning actor. Im sexy. Im cute. And i love the spotlight. Despite my success i still live at home with my mother and father in california. Im their little superstar. You need to have a very good breakfast. Its really important. Are you two both the Party Planner or what . Im meeting with him tomorrow morning at 9 00 a. M. Were meeting . No, this is my party. Somebody got to watch the budget. Budget . Dad, this is my time to shine bright like a diamond. Shine bright like a diamond. In the sky. I swear to god, if my parents make me plan this party like im a poor person, i will lose my [ bleep ]. [ bleep ] will be lost, bible. We need you to be reasonable. Reasonable . Were you reasonable in skipping my broadway debut because of your dialysis . Did either of you think about my feelings . Oh. Just set up the Party Planner. Try to be good parents. Get away from me. Bryan can be difficult, but deep down hes really a sweet boy. Hes an ass. Write it down. I said it. Whos ready to party . Im a Party Planner. I plan parties for ice t and cocoa. Im looking forward to meeting bryan. Our first theecme theme, hawaii bryan. We could have coconuts, or maybe that obese man who sang over the rainbow . Hes dead. Im so sorry. We have others. Show business. Youre in show business. Lights, camera, cranston. Hello, everyone. How original. No. This is one thats called hots off to bryan, and people would wear different hats . You are the link [ bleep ] of ideas. I couldnt believe what he was proposing. I need to make sure that jimmy sees my vision crystal clear. My sweet 60 has to be ferocious. Do you understand . Did he just say ferocious . He did, ferocious. Im so glad you said that, because i do have one more idea. We didnt make a poster for it. But get this. The bryan king. Like the lion king but with your name in place of the word lion. Bryan. The king of the jungle. Roar. Uhhuh, uhhuh. Roaring your way to 60. Okay. Can we get a lion . A real lion . A real lion. Yes. Yes. Of course. Yes. No, i mean one that actually ate some people. Guillermo can get that. Ill take care of it. Hes mexican. Youd be the king. Bryan, honey, the budget. Bryan, honey, the budget. Shut up, mom. Yeah, mom, could you zip it for a little while . Thank you. Shes your only child. Hes your mufasa. Was he the good one . Yeah. This is your lion king. The bryan king. Music. I love that. I want cisco. The thong song, hello. Oh, yeah. The thong yes. The thong song. Such a good song. I think we have a party. The thong, thong, thong, thong, thong. Were a thong wearing family. We all wear thongs. Show us your thongs. Coming up next on my super sweet 60. Yo, thats whack tight. Yeah, and my balls arent giving me camel toe, are they . We have to take a break. When we come back, part two of my super sweet 60. Stick around. If youve ever been lured in straight talk. By a low price wireless plan then theres not enough highspeed data or your bill is packed with overages and mystery fees. Stop falling for it with straight talks unlimited plan, you get americas largest, most dependable 4g lte networks. No contract, no tricks. And five gigs of highspeed data for just fortyfive dollars a month. Its time to ask yourself. Why havent i switched . Get a Samsung Galaxy s7 or bring your own phone. Find out more at straighttalkswitch. Com sorry. Sorry. Regerts . Sorry, i was eating a milky way. Customer service d. Maam. This isnt a computer. Wait. Youre real . With discover card, you can talk to a real person in the u. S. , like me, anytime. Wow. This is a recording. Really . No, im kidding. 100 u. S. Based customer service. Here to help, not to sell. Uh oh. Oh. Henry oh my. Good, youre good. Back, back, back. vo according to kelley blue book, subaru has the highest resale value of any brand. Again. You might find that comforting. Love. Its what makes a subaru, a subaru. Jimmy welcome back. Tonight Joanna Newsom and anika knownmy rose, but now its time for part two of Bryan Cranstons sweet 60. It has to be ferocious. The bryan king. I think we have a party. I am fully right now. Fully. In addition to jim and the kroen handler, by besty is coming over to help me pick out the most bomb ass outfit. Make my boy, bryan look tight. You look like a sleepy refugee. That hats too hatty. Yo, thats tight. Yeah . And my balls are not giving me canal toe, are they . Thats perfect toe. Thats what im talking about. Yes. Are you ready to try on some crowns . I am. I want to try on some too. No. Its my day. Its my day. Put this on your imagi imagi majesty. You look great. More. Two. Ha ha ha. More. No way. Three. There cant be more than that. Give me another one. Give me another one. No way. I want another one. But theyre stacked so high. I want another crown. Its not safe. Its my party. I feel like im so much better than any of you. [ laughter ] did you find a crown . I found five, dad. Do you need help picking one out . Mom, im not picking one out. I would never be taken seriously if at my own party i wear the same crown all night . But, please, between the crowns and the car you want, we cant afford it. If my parents mention the [ bleep ] budget one more time, im going to pop off. Its the crown and the lambo, okay . Thats all i asked for, and the party. Thats it. And cisco, and that was it. And you guys are so selfish. Come through for your boy. Boom. You are ruining my party, and you are ruining my life. Okay. You can have three crowns. Five. Okay, five. Were going to be dead soon anyway. [ cheering ] thank you, dad. Ill buy you a beautiful casket. Yeah. Coming up next on my super sweet 60. So far this has been the worst night of my life, and i i dont know how it can get my worse. So a dramatic conclusion, part three of three to my super sweet 60 later on. Jimmy tonight on the show, music from Joanna Newsom, from roots Anika Noni Rose, and well be right back with super sweet Bryan Cranston. This is a fingerprint. And with touch id it does way more than unlock your phone. It logs you into things, like your bank account. See what i mean . It checks you into your flight. Ooop, your phone it pays for stuff like. mouth full doughnuts. How about chew then talk. It unlocks things for you. It signs documents for you. Hey, you bought a boat i bought a boat i just said that. And it does this. Yeah, it starts your car. So now were just starting cars with our fingerprints. Just. Whoa. Late friday and early saturday. And take 50 to 60 off swimwear for the family. 40 to 60 off sandals for the family. And 50 to 55 off sonoma decor and outdoor furniture. Everyone gets kohls cash too kohls. Jimmy tonight, from a new, reimagined version of the classic miniseries roots, Anika Noni Rose is here. Then, her new album is called divers, the great Joanna Newsom from the samsung stage. Next week well be joined by some very big names including donald trump, bernie sanders, johnny depp, colin farrell, kyle chandler, brad paisley, and demi lovato pink will perform out on hollywood boulevard. It will be a wonder to watch. And i hope you do. Jimmy our first guest tonight is one of the great actors with a tony, a golden globe, and six emmys to prove it. He plays lbj in the new movie all the way. Hook here. This here is the seal of the presidency of the united states. Theres only two cuff links like this in the entire world, and you now own them both. I want you to wear them. Think about what i said, huh . You look good, bill. Ill bet you dropped a few pounds. Im going to need another set of those cuff links. Jimmy all the way premieres tomorrow night on hbo. Please welcome Bryan Cranston. [ applause ] good to see you. Jimmy you look very handsome. You know, i wanted to do a little shoutout for guillermo, because every time that there is a red carpet across the street, he is there with the tequila, like a postman, dedicated to delivering his message. Jimmy like that st. Bernard with the wooden barrel. Thats nice. Its a nice thing for you to do. Youre a nice guy in general, and youre fantastic in this movie. Its unbelievable how much you look like lbj and sound like him. You really became him. I have two facial qualities that i share with lbj that every man would love to have, and thats beaty eyes and thin lips. I had a head start. Jimmy i saw you in the broadwaylay version. That was fantastic. Did you have as much makeup. I dont know how to attach the prosthetic makeup well, so all i did were the ear drops. I glued on the ear drops that added more to the ears. He had huge ear, and that was it. Then i put gray in my air and put a dimple. One of the great things about lbj is he would hold meetings when he was on the toilet. People would have to come in and talk to him. You say that like its a strange thing. Jimmy the only other person that ive heard, i dont know for sure if they did it or was, but tommy lasorta. Supposedly he cut players in the bathroom. Theyre already feeling bad, like oh, im going to make your life better. Youre cut. You dont have to see me take a crap anymore. Jimmy thats true, though. It is true. He used to put people back on their heels by continuing the conversation from the oval office to the private bathroom. Follow me in here, i cant understand what the hell youre saying. Sit here. Hand me that roll of toilet paper there. And he would just do [ laughter ] jimmy how far are we going to take this . [ applause ] you want me to sign that . Jimmy youve already done that, yeah. By the way, the day we shot your super sweet 16 was the day the New York Times article, it was a conversation, three people, two of them you and president obama. Yeah. Jimmy that was pretty great. Was that fun for you . It was the idea of the writer of the New York Times, phil, and he had to call the white house first, of course. Jimmy sure. What do you think about this idea, and then they said yes, wed like to do that. Then he called me and so the message i got was we have this table for three idea. The president has already approved what would you say . Are you in or out, and its like hm, well, you know. Jimmy its nice that they first checked with the president. It would be terrible if they asked you and then they called and said he doesnt want to do it with you. Not going to happen. Jimmy you guys have something in common that you dressed almost identically. [ applause ] obama. I said obama, are you there . Are you wearing blue . Are im wearing blue. Jimmy so you went for him as ha halloween, and there you are in the oval office dressed the same. That was a total accident. Jimmy that was fun to read. It was a lot of fun, and i was very honored to be in that office. Jimmy do you do other president s besides johnson . Do you do obama or trump . I dont do obama. I could do a little bit of bernie. Jimmy good. I want to be in the white house. I will be there. Theres a pathway to the white house. Um, um, i just cant figure out where it is. I need to go to the bathroom. [ applause ] jimmy brian can stron is here. His movie is all the way. It premiers tomorrow on hbo. When we come back, the conclusion to my super sweet 60. Well be right back. Do you sell highend champagne . In the back. [beep, beep] [cork pop] have a good night. The new waterresistant galaxy s7 edge. New layers to our famous lasagna. With three new irresistible dishes like chicken parmigiana lasagna. And seafood lovers lasagna. All with our unlimited salad and breadsticks. And all starting at 11. 99. Olive garden. Whatcha gonna do when you get outta here . Im gonna have some fun what do you consider fun . Fun, natural fun. Yeah, we rocking right now. Its a party over here. Hey im in heaven owww. Who know it wasnt a day at the beach. Rough it. Unless someone got buried. To the fullbacks. Gearheads. And those with green thumbs. To the sticky. The stinky. Even those who get a little icky. To all the beautiful mess makers, keep it up. With delta in2ition plus h2okinetic, you can. See what delta can do. Only those who dare drive the world forward. Introducing the firstever cadillac ct6. Aflac. E have aflac. And Major Medical . Major medical boyyy, yeah berr, der berrp. I help pay the doctor, aint that enough for you . Theres things Major Medical doesnt do. Aflac pays cash so we dont have to fret. Something families should get like a safety net even helps pay deductibles, so cover your back, with. Aaaaaaaaflac learn about one day pay at aflac. Com rap jimmy Bryan Cranston all the way premiers tomorrow night at eight on hbo. He had a big birthday. We got to see the first two parts. Here it is, the conclusion to my super sweet 60. Previously on my super sweet 60. Oh, thank you, dad. Ill buy you a beautiful casket. So today is the day. Its time to party. [ lion king music ] i cannot wait to see my peoples faces when they see me make my grand entrance. [ applause ] [ roaring like a lion ]. You look just like a lion, yo. Stop it. Quiet. Everything stops. Where is jimmy . I need to see jimmy right now. Jimmy. Jimmy. Are you having fun my birthday king . No. There is a big sign across my birthday stage that says the brion king and thats not how i spell my name. But we went with iion like lion. Lets get another crown on your head. I think this will make you much happier. It says brion. On purpose. Oh, the spelling is wrong. Stupid unicorn. I know bryan is real famous, but hes an [ bleep ]. Im going to come back here and pretend that i wasnt here. Im just so far this has been the worst night of my life, and i i dont know how it can get any worse. No. No. No. No. No. Hey. No. No what . Not going to poach my look at my party. Okay . Go home and change. Are you serious . Go home and change. Right now. Funny, bryan. I carried your ass for six ars, and youre not going to steal my thunder now. Go home and change. Or ill have my dad three your ass out. Youll have your dad throw me out . Yeah. How do you like that . Dad. Boom. [ laughter ] its happening. This is happening. Come on. Wow, youre going to really throw me out . Wow. Wow. You know what . You know when i told you i said i loved it . Guess what, i didnt even see your movie. Oh, no. I didnt see trumbo. Yeah. Happy birthday, bitch. Yeah. Bye. Tell it walks. Oh, boohoo. I wore it best, and bryan knows it. Hey, everybody. Is everyone having a wild time . [ cheers ] . No. Are you happy . No. Happy birthday to you no. Move. No moochlt no. Stop singing. No one but cisco sings at my party. Do you want to blow those out . Yes. [ engine revving ] get out of my way. Get out o