But i am. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, stephen welcomes christian slater. Chris geere. And congressman john lewis. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey wooo wooo i caught you early. Whats going on . Jon whats happening. Stephen do you feel that . Jon i feel it i feel it oh Stephen StephenStephen StephenStephen Stephen thank you, ladies wow, man. Thank you so much, everybody. Thank you. Chris, hey, paul. Whats going on, paul . How are you . Hey thanks so much, everybody. Thanks so much. Listen, thanks so much for that greeting. I am Stephen Colbert. Welcome to the late show. I am Stephen Colbert. I dont know if you guys have been watching the news this aftern show to start, but this campaign has been unusual from the start, but today it jumped the z. Train to weerdzville, because donald trump went to mexico. Quick, build the wall cheers and applause ill pay for it cheers and applause heres the deal. Heres what happened here. Nieto, which is a little strange since nieto has previously compared trump to hitler and mussolini, which explains why the invitation asked trump to choose chicken, fish, hitler or mussolini. Now, the two men met in private, but we at the late show have obtained exclusive dpootage of their stephen thats rough stuff, but, you know, its what trump gets for sleeping with pena nietos lover while he was in a coma. Now, i am surprised really that trump would go someplace so dangerous. And i dont mean the drug gangs. I mean people down there love and this was their chance to find out if he is actually full of candy. Now here is the crazy thing about this trip trump looked cheers and applause i mean, heres the deal there he was, theres the podium and another president , and a si, senor. You can really imagine him doing that again but, like, with the training wheels off. The big boy pants. The launch codes. I mean, the whole world saw him doing something hes never done before stay quiet while someone else was talking. And the whole thing changed the way you look at trump. But thankfully, it didnt change the way you hear him. I have many friends, so many friends, and so many friends i am proud to say how many people i employ. And the united states, first, second, and thirdgeneration mexicans are just beyond reproach. Stephen yes, trump is a big fan of second and Third Generation mexicans. Or, as theyre known in america, americans. laughter applause thats right, thats right. Jon americans. Stephen and at this press conference, trump outlined a number of specific policy goals. Improving nafta, number four. Nafta is a 22yearold agreement that must be updated to reflect the realities of today. Stephen its true. Nafta is so old, trump wouldnt even date her. laughter afterwards, a reporter asked if the two discussed the border wall. We did not discuss payment of the wall. Thatll be for a later date. Stephen thats what hes said from the beginning were going to build a wall, and were going to make mexico discuss who pays for it at a later date now, this was excellent optics for the trump campaign. I cannot imagine the clinton folks are happy about this. In fact, im being told we have the official response from hillary clinton. Whats happening . laughter applause cheers stephen lets see, what else is frightening . Oh, it might be the end of the world see, theres this guy named lyle jeffs, leader of a religious fringe group, and he was under house arrest for ripping off millions of dollars in food stamps. This guy down, but his lawyer has suggested jeffs was possibly swept away in the rapture. Thats right he is hiding out at gods place until the heat blows over laughter if this is true and the judge hasnt ruled yet, so we dont know that means we are in the end times. Evidently, when god judged the seven billion people on the planet to decide who he would save from the tribulation of the beast, he said, tell you what. Start with that food stamp guy right there. Now, of course, the doubting thomases at the f. B. I. Have their own crazy theory. They believe that jeffs dissappeared from house arrest by coating his ankle monitor in olive oil and sliding it off. But come on. Just because the f. B. I. Found some greasedup ankle monitor doesnt mean this guy wasnt also raptured. He was probably just oiling himself up so he could slip right through the bars of the pearly gates. After all, jesus said its easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a imagine how much youd have to oil use on a camel. But on the outside chance that this guy wasnt raptured to sit at the right hand of the father, you should all be on the lookout, because the f. B. I. Is offering a 50,000 reward for his return. Whoa, whoa, hold on. Wait. What was that, stephen . Did you say 50 gs . Stephen oh, hey, god yeah, theres a huge reward for this guy. Why, have you heard something . That depends. I may have seen him around. Is his one of those no questions asked kind of deals . laughter stephen i imagine so. Why . Well, i dont want it to lead back to me. You know, snitches get stitches, stephen. But i could use a little extra scratch. Im thinking about remodeling the kitchen. Stephen so why dont you just go grab him, then . I keep trying. The guys really slippery hes covered in olive oil stephen well, good luck, lord. Good luck with that. Hey, did you see trump in mexico . He looked really president ial. Stephen not you, too. Just saying. Scary stuff. Could be a sign of the end times. Stephen god, everybody give it up. You know what . Stick around. Weve got a great show tonight. Christian slater will be here. And when we return, i will stand up for the National Anthem. Well be right back. cheers and applause . . . Coming up on look famous people we catch flo, the progressive girl, at the supermarket buying cheese. Scandal alert flo likes dairy . woman busted [ laughter ] right afterwards we caught her oh, yeah [ indistinct shouting ] is this your chauffeur . What . no, i was just showing him how easy it is to save with snapshot from progressive. You just plug it in and it gives you a rate based on your driving. Does she have insurance for being boring . [ light laughter ] laugh bigger. [ laughter ] poor mouth breather. Allergies . Stuffy nose . Cant sleep . Take that. A breathe right nasal strip instantly opens your nose up to 38 more than allergy medicine alone. Reathers. Breathe right. . Never underestimate the power of energizer. Our longest lasting energizer max ever. What muscle pain . What headache . What arthritis pain . Advil makes pain a distant memory nothing works faster stronger or longer pain . Advil. . . . . . . Only those who dare drive the world forward. Daughter mom, ready to go . Mother im looking for my kohls coupons. Why . I set up the kohls app on your phone. Huh . Yeah, your coupons are already in your digital wallet. Oh, cool. Vo all your coupons in one place. The kohls app. Vo now thats the good stuff. Mother cool. Whatcha doin . Just checking my free credit score at credit karma. What the . . . Youre welcome. I just helped you dodge a bullet. But i was just checking my. Shhh. Dont you know that checking your credit score actually, checking your credit score with credit karma doesnt affect it at all. Are you sure . Positive. So i guess i can just check my credit score then . Oooh check out credit karma today. Credit karma. Give yourself some credit. Sorry about that. cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody. Give it up for our friend jon batiste and stay human, everybody. cheers and applause jon yeah, baby stephen is trump president yet . Because i saw him meeting with a foreign leader earlier. He looked really president ial . Hes not . I can imagine him throwing out the first pitch. All the important president stuff. Speaking of, which lets talk about baseball for a second. Thats called a segue. It was an incredible play i saw in cleveland. Lets take a look. A line drive from Zach Mcallister from the indians, kicks it over his shoulder and unbelievable theres still a team called the indians . If baseball is going to be this exciting, we may have to find Something Else to think about during sex. Of course, the big story in sports continues to be quarterback Colin Kapernick and his refusal to stand during the National Anthem. He says he is not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color. A bold stance. Or, technically, a bold sits. Preseason Game Tomorrow Night in san diego, and all eyes will be on kapernick because anything is more interesting than watching a preseason game. laughter now, kapernicks protest has caused a firestorm of controversy. A lot of people are upset with him, including, well, you know who. I think its a terrible thing and, you know, maybe he should find a country that works better for him if a country doesnt work for you, find one that does. Thats why trumps factories are all located in china. cheers and applause now, i want to be clear now, i want to be clear. I, Stephen Colbert, love the National Anthem. I stand up when i hear it. I know the harmony. Its easily in my top three songs about ramparts. I also love america. And one of the things i love about america is everyone has the right to protest things theyre upset about, including protesting other peoples protests. Thats all covered in the secret map on the back of the constitution, also on the front, in the words. So, constitutionally, kapernick protesting and people being upset with him is a winwin two words the 49ers will not be hearing a lot this season. laughter applause wonder how the National Anthem and sporting events got connected in the first place. Well, interesting story. Turns out, it goes back to a very strange time in American History when the cubs were in the world series. It was 1918. World war i was just ending, and the cubs were opening the series at home against babe ruth and the red sox. They expected a raucous crowd, but instead, the papers reported that the game was perhaps the quietest on record. It was so quiet, you could hear babe ruth thinking about alcohol. However, there was one moment when the crowd came alive the seventhinning stretch, when the musicians fired up the starspangled banner. Thats right, the starspangled banner was the original jock jam. laughter its hard to understand now, but at the time, the most popular form of entertainment was finding out which of your cousins had spanish flu. They had a hit. And for the next two games, they had the band play the starspangled banner to enthusiastic crowds. And the crowds went up from 19,000 to 27,000. They played the anthem at every game, and the cubs continued it to lose. Traditions that have continued to this day. The story proves that playing the National Anthem at games is the most american thing of all marketing. So maybe its not that offensive to sit it out. Or if it is offensive, it should also be offensive not to buy a mattress on president s day. Because if you think you can find a better deal on a sealy posturepedic, go back russia, you commie well be right back with christian slater. . . . applause tis, where to go. And how to deal with my uc. To me, that was normal. Until i talked to my doctor. She told me that humira helps people like me get uc under control and keep it under control when certain medications havent worked well enough. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. Serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. , get tested for tb. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. Raise your expectations. Ask your gastroenterologist about humira. Were going to prove just how wet and sticky your current gel antiperspirant is. Degree dry spray. Degree. It wont let you down. Crabfest is on at red lobster so come dive into dishes like the new alaska bairdi crab dinner with sweet crab from the icy waters of alaska. Or try crab lovers dream with tender snow and king crab legs. Love crab . Switch to u. S. Cellular and get 50 off smartphones. Its a deal you dont want to miss. Sir, hi. Did you just say, switch and you get 50 off a smartphone . Uh, yes. Sorry. Hi. Hello. I was watching tv and i saw you say 50 off smartphones. And well cover all switching costs. Oh wow also, you g. Uh, excuse me. Switch to u. S. Cellular and get 50 off smartphones. Plus, well cover all switching costs. Excuse me, can i just. Hmm . What . I just need it back. I dont have it. I dont know what youre talking about. band playing cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody. My first guest tonight has been a star of stage and screen since he was eight years old. He now stars in a critically acclaimed drama that will mess with your head. Heres what were going to do. Okay, okay. Lets all take a beat. Settle down here, relax elliot . Stephen whoa please welcome christian slater. . . . applause . Give it cheers and applause stephen i want to thanks for coming back. All the way from the 80s. Stephen yeah, exactly. Here we go. Stephen i want to talk about the the show in just a minute, but im not totally caught up. No problem. Stephen so, please, i beg you. Totally forgiven. Stephen happying about thank you, thank you. Stephen do you like do you like celebrating your birthday . Do you make a big deal out of it . I dont mind it. I didnt make a big deal out of it but i had a nice party in chicago with some friends they met when i was working in chicago, actually, a couple of years ago. Dick wolf has got about four different shows about chicago. Chicago med, chicago p. D. , chicago fire, chicago fed, stephen all the shows make it look like chicago is going to burn down tomorrow. Chicago is incredible, but there are a lot of actors there and a lot of friend i met when i was there so we all got together and had a nice not your favorite birthday but a good one. Not my favorite birthday but a good one. Probably if i had to choose my particular favorite birthday it was my 12th birthday. That was the big celebration. Thats the one that really stands out in my brain. Better . I hit puberty later, a little bit later, but this birthday was particularly great because, well, the surprise guest at the party my mother was always doing stuff like this because she knew pretty much everybody in show business. She was a casting director so she knew a lot of actors and people like that, so there were always different people showing up at these wonderful parties i had as a kid. And one this year at 12 was mark hamill. applause yeah, yeah. He showed up at my birthday now. Yeah, i know. Stephen thats a perfect age for mark hamill to show up at your birthday. It was right around the time of the Empire Strikes back. You can imagine, i was beyond belief star struck. I couldnt speak to him. Stephen its all downhill from there. Well yeah, youre right. It is. laughter applause man. Yeah, no, she set the bar very, very high. But, honestly, those people in chicago were great. I love them, too. They were good. Theyre not luke skywalker, but, you know, they did do very well. Stephen you were acting at that point. I was. I had done a few shows. Stephen at eight you were on broadway. I did the music man, with Dick Van Dyke . Gary indiana gary indiana . I had the lisp and i would sing it but my wife would kill me. She would. Every time i attempt or threaten to sing that song shes like, shes backstage, so im not measing around. laughter . Stephen do you still do live theater . I know you performed in the west end in london, too. Yeah, i did one flew over cuckoos nest a couple of years ago in the west end. It was phenomenal. Listen, it was great. First of all, that show is amazing, and it was like a rock concert every night. I dont know. The audiences were nuts, and we all had a great time. Stephen well, you spent cameras, as opposed to live on stage, right . Sure, well, i grew up in new york. I grew up going to a lot of theater. And i had started very young in the theater. But doing something in london was unique and fun, and that particular show was great because well, i kept threatening the audience every night that i would stage dive on the last performance. And how do you threaten the audience with that . I dont understand. The buildup every night, as we were getting closer and show, i would, you know, in order to get people to come back, its a fun thing to do, you know. Stephen one of these nights im just going to take a dive in the front row . That could happen tonight. I could dive out there. cheers and applause you see . Stephen sure. Its a phenomenal i recommend it highly. Stephen okay, all right. You first. All right, lets go. Stephen well get there. Well get there. Well get there. We have all night. We do, we have all night. Stephen you, me, congressman lewis, well all go out there. Sounds great. Stephen did you end up doing it . I did the last night a british audience . I thought they were so reserved. I was surprised. During intermission, they would all hit the pubs and came back and they were ready to p i did it. And it was right at the curtain call. And stood there on the edge, and i said, im coming im coming and i dove out there and they caught me and carried me around and brought me back to the stage and i did my curtain call and said, sayonara. Stephen thats thats how they say gone over there. Thats right. applause stephen as a young actor growing up did you model yourself on anybody . When you were coming up. Did you say, i want to be like that guy . Or that guy gave me advice. There was one guy in particular i loved, sean connery. Stephen i heard of him. The greatest guy ever. I wonder with him when i was about 16 15, 16 years old. And, yeah, he gave me some great advice. Stephen what were you working on . We were doing a movie called the name of the rose. Stephen oh, sure, you, f. Murray abraham, sean connery. All set in this labyrinth, a 13th century murder mystery. We were wearing these monk robes and shooting out in germany and italy. And i had a particularly important scene to do on one particular day, and i just remember walking through these cloisters of this monastery with sean connery, and he was wearing a robe, and i was wearing a robe. And he said, so, you know, i understand today you have a little nervous