A.l.w. Is weekly space for the best and Public Radio podcast storytelling I'm your host. 'd it was small red and had the word diary and Boston gold ink on the cover and I wrote in it every day for the entirety of 1905 my entries mostly just recounted what I did that day school Burger King with my grandma blowing my allowance of thrift I still have it and whenever I peek inside a little disappointed and wish I would have kept count of my feelings more what did 10 year old me dream about what made me depressed Well luckily because I didn't do that I am excluded from and Barris ing myself on the podcast and story telling event mortified 'd mortified soul exists to bring the stories of your emotional diaries to the stage and in each event presenters read 'd verbatim the good the bad . RINGBACK Pretty hilarious entries from their personal teenage diaries in one of their most recent episodes of the Mortified pod cast share stories that give the holidays some super fierce side I. Just a heads up that this segment contains the language the kind that a teenager would use to describe how much they hate the holidays we've bleeped most of it though so if you find that sort of talk hilarious this is a podcast for you and if you don't have something more wholesome starting around the 15 minute mark. Dear diary 6th grade February 14th 1901 I am really depressed. Mom you can't. Tell you Cooper age 141101 pm Tuesday December 7th 199910 o 2 pm 5th night of Hanukkah. Levels at choir practice so it was just dad and I we exchanged Hanukkah presents I gave him an Oriental cooking book and he gave me an American sign language dictionary and CD-Rom dictionary. Most kids will tell you it's pretty rare to get a gift on the 5th night of Hanukkah that can top all other nights but that was the case for tell you Cooper. The kind of gift that almost made her forget about her cool new dictionary. Then the phone ring here was our conversation. I tell you it's deeper I have something to tell you that I have no idea how you'll react long cause I don't know what to say next because I never thought I'd get this far. Oh well are you going to ask me out. Now that you mention it how about it. I am so happy p.s. I can't believe I have a boyfriend T.V.'s I love sign language. T.V.'s I'm not saying they will. Be on again and it will be when it is indeed and. Unfortunately most Hanukkah nights and Christmas mornings don't end up feeling like a scene straight out of love actually next to. The skunk at Chatham House but yes. And at some point her adolescence getting into the holiday spirit becomes that much harder you're in Mr. From pure x. And radio topia this is the Mortified podcast I'm Neal and today just in time for the holidays we present tales of kids who face that life altering question Do I still believe in Christmas. God and. This was a lie but the. First stop is the story of a real life Grinch whose bitterness of Christmas rivals that of Dr Seuss's original creation Yup there's new trouble in Whoville and it's a depressed teenager. Good evening. My name is Jimmy if there is a theme song for my teenage years it would have to be the same if Heaven knows I'm Mr Boldero. By the age of 16 I'd convinced myself that I'd cemented my status as the world's I'm luckiest person my parents were divorced I didn't feel like I fit in at school. Well as presidential election didn't even go my way. And I was 100 percent in the closet I truly wanted to be happy but I had no idea how to get there so I coped in the only way I knew how to write bitching about everything constant all the time. And then along comes the season to be jolly the most wonderful time of the year and that only exacerbated the situation and multiplied Miami so imagine I was like a cross between Charlie Brown Evan easer Scrooge and the Grinch. And the following diary entries were like my twisted holiday special. The year was 1988 Welcome to a very Jimmy Rudolph The Christmas. November 8th. In minus 3 months George Bush will be president. Come January j. Jan 4th Quayle will be vice president. But I don't want to talk about. Stead why don't I depress myself by talking about school yes well that pleasant day today was in 6th period masochist that I be I insisted on delivering papers to Mr Baylor's chemistry class were Rob yelled out in front of everyone that I liked Duran Duran's new album. Later Karen told me she can always smell me coming because of my drug carnal war. At least the weather was 10 times better yesterday's rain ended up tweaking my hair flat. Remember nights today was real neat I wore all black including socks and my your Rhythmix revenge badge to show how I felt about Bush's election. Scott told me I was dressed good for a funeral. I told him it was due to the death of a country. Never 14. I just laughed at my horoscope said emotional serenity it's essential. That. I swear I'm so pissed in newspaper I walked into class only to hear Travis being all the time later I told him that he always makes fun of my list I told Nick he never listens to me I told Matt he generally brings me down. And then Mr Dyce your cut in and said and I hate your guts. Yes I see its point but I still get no respect. Over 24th Thanksgiving with sort of a thankful for 4 years of Bush is president. And ever increasing social life I give up. Never 26 when I went to the bathroom I couldn't help noticing how good my hair looks so I've decided if my hair looks good in the Morning Joe. We're celebrating my birthday too early because of my dad and my stepmother's trip to Mexico. They've been hounding me about what to get me as for cake light on the white frosting with Barry filling featuring a winter motif will suffice. As Rice cream half of it no doubt about it. As for gifts I need calendars cologne gifts sets maybe a Walkman maybe some batteries for the maybe Walkman maybe a couple dictionaries maybe some mechanical pencils I don't know. So as the weather got colder and the Christmas decorations started to go up my misery continued but then magically a few weeks before Christmas things actually started to improve the only problem was that despite all the little Christmas miracles happening around me all I thought were lumps of coal. November 29th. I realize that December is just around the corner that means gifts on the 13th gifts on the 25th cation I earned it. In 1st period I let my Christmas spirit officially begin by using my annoying Jingle Bells pencil. December 3rd. Shouldn't today have gone better I mean today was a Saturday so no school lots of sleep right I mean today was the day that dad celebrated my birthday early thoughts of presents Right right but I still feel incredibly suicidal at the moment after I suddenly got the great idea to take a walk I hurriedly ate cake and ice cream and open my presents Walkman batteries headphones card album maroon sweatshirt a very special Christmas was playing on my walkman and Christmas decorations were all around so I felt great then I went to 711 it took a wrong turn on my way home and got honked at by 4 cars. When I got home I noticed frost all over the place I probably chose the coldest night since last winter for 3 and a half hour walk. I just looked in the mirror and I must admit I look pretty steadily . And I didn't run into one person I know. December 7th at lunch I had to sell Christmas messages for the newspaper it was the lame I want to talk about it Q. December 10th. Mom had me help her make eggnog cake and put up the tiny Christmas tree that my stepfather got just for my bedroom. I don't use the best Christmas lights we have and I put up all my ornaments it looks terrific. December 16th. Today was one of those days he was outcome did not nearly match extend his if you know what I mean. Sure sure sure before school Carol gave me a great card and Scott gave me a bumper sticker and a 2 and a half foot candy cane but believe yeah yeah yeah toy and Martha said hi to me in the hall plus Greg sat down next to Andy and said Did you see the review of Morrissey in the paper and he told great that I wrote it Greg said all right but please tonight mom grounded me from doing anything with anybody because of my attitude. Did she. Want to call her psychos from now on. December 22nd. I don't know. I should feel good at the moment right could have fooled me I don't know goddamn And once again because nobody called me up today I feel like period I began getting incessant nagging thoughts about how ungrateful everyone was slashing is to me I even wrote it out of my peak of anger so in the midst of all this who happens by a man with a Christmas present Oh ho ho he said What are you doing here I asked making my Christmas rounds. Wonders never cease. And then finally Christmas Day rolls around. Christmas lights were twinkling cookies were faking fresh in the oven and I was still complaining. December 25th I woke up at 6 am to listen to American Top 40 only to have mom yell at me for waking up you really interest is more than. Whatever. I put on my new bike tires which Dad brought over last night then in my white jeans I decided to take a ride to plaid pantry and I spilled right in front of Betsy Simkins house great so clearly it was not shaping up to be a happy holiday right but there still was a silver lining to my dark cloud presence so what you're about to hear are believe it or not gifts that I was actually thrilled to receive. Back to the truck has everything I received 2 can dream. Too mechanical pencil lead. Regular envelopes business and low. Regard to our spray to car no argue over it off cologne groom cologne stamps stapler scotch tape. The Traveling Wilburys volume one. Rest in Peace Tom Petty. Depeche Mode t. Shirt. Turbo Blaster key chain and Gumby Santa. So all I wanted for Christmas was a little respect but hey at least I got my scotch tape Thank you God. Well Jimmy was busy Grinch ing it up other kids to do everything they could to keep the Christmas spirit alive I hardly believed in that 110 per cent in some ways Robert King its childhood was like a lot of kids he loved Christmas did love Santa but another were his his childhood was unique I was a premium I wasn't an incubator and I received way too much oxygen as opposed to not and now Fox too much oxygen caused me to be legally blind and I also have the serval palsy so that made me grow up with a feature and event and it was done or going up with disability has taught me to believe in the seeming play in post all things I think it's incredibly in paired to day kids learn how to utilize their. Nation to look at things differently that belief in the impossible is something that drove Robert as a kid especially when it came to St Nick one time when I went to the mall my grand mother took me to see Santa Claus ice sat on said to his lap and they said I have some questions for you about the North Pole and every I thought maybe he actually really is real and no. But he has figured out the truth yet there's a grantor Titian of kids trying to uncover the truth does Santa exist and how can kids like Robert prove it. By fans of the 1947 classic Miracle on 34th Street understand this need to believe all too well and it transcends generations as evidenced by its remake in 1904 just a crinkled whole thing and very funny and perfectly round. So it'll come as no surprise that when Robert out of the Simon 3rd grade to write a letter to the North Pole he took it serious I had a mistreated small who just said how does he think. It is a choose the elves he chooses how does he function. Normally this is when we cut to Robert reading aloud his letter on stage however for various reasons Robert requested that someone else to the honors and while we typically ask our participants to mortify themselves we gladly made this exception so who better to read aloud Roberts' letter to Santa than someone who's actually worked with Santa. Has the pill and the star of 990 four's Miracle on 34th Street Hi I'm Mara Wilson Yup a little girl who went to court for Kris Kringle who in full disclosure did not grow up believing in St Nick my mom brought me a script and she said it's a movie called Miracle on 34th Street it's a remake of an old movie I said What is it about because I had never seen it and she said well it's about a little girl who doesn't believe in Santa Claus and I said oh she Jewish like us my mom said I look into that. And now Robert King It's letter to Santa in 3rd grade Dear Santa Mrs Amanda told us to write to you so I am writing to you Tyler says that you don't exist but how can someone not exist if everyone tells the same story about you every year besides if you didn't exist I'd read it in the news or watching on t.v. So I think he doesn't know what he's talking about besides reading rainbow tells your story I tell it on t.v. If its fake does not cost money I have a weird request I know that you operate a very popular business in the North Pole but have you ever thought about expanding your business instead of just selling toys to kids you could start doing clothes and books and cookies and stuff this letter is incredibly in Bear sing to me for 2 reasons The 1st is that I was trying to. Prove a business in the not Paul that doesn't exist I also. Relies on I was. Credibly opinionated as a kid think about it Santa I like audio books but Tyler doesn't like audio books it's wrong to force him to think of a toy he may or may not want besides I can't see well anyway so why not get me something I can hear you've been selling toys to my house for years but can I tell you a secret I can't see well so I step on them or break them if you saw other things to other kids that are not toys they get to use their product longer and they don't need to write to you next year do you see how that makes sense I think that if you try my idea maybe sit down in your office with your elves and talk it over you all can make a new and improved shop Now me I've been extra good so I want cookies I also want that stuffed wishbone dog I never got I think you miss place that file in your office because I've been extra good this year it's logical that I get extra stuff if I understand your business correctly so I grew up very interested in writing I knew that it was a way for me to communicate the and I knew it was a way for me to tackle I use each disability I want to Play Station game I want cookies and I want that wishbone dog seriously he's so cute please Santa I will love him forever and ever I hope you like my idea I thought about it for many days consider it please if you do decide to adopt my new business can you write to your Mrs Amanda you have my address and you know where my school is so let me know I have a question why do you never write back Robert can get. I asked him why he never wrote me back I thought that it was a little rude. I wanted to genuinely know why year after year after year if you don't have the common courtesy to write back if I could ask Santa for anything right now I like a chance to just chill and hang out Oh and of course to finally have an x. Collusive interview for a news paper. As always all the childhood writings heard in today's episode shared with the relishing new exaggerating just God given awkwardness. To share the same post on Facebook or Instagram or Twitter or visit get mortified dot com to learn about mortified stage shows books films and beyond that participate and who knows maybe you'll appear on a future episode of the series and check out other Christmas inspired mortified tales by listening to episode a tuner gift missed or Episode 44 Dear Santa want to head back to the Mortified podcast as a proud member of radio topia empirics and if your company would like to support a podcast in the mail sponsored radio took it out of the. Podcast production team for this episode includes have the Dion to get up there again myself you'll catch your grandest and Pooja Bhatt story produced these for the stage music by Gordon bash Alex for Adam Smith the angel Zoe Rose Palatino and snakes and it's neat special thanks to our Wilson additional banks the ads are for dividing the ed serving platform Lance rubber Sutiyoso and all the dedicated mortified live producers whose work make the stage show possible until next time they remind you that we are freaks we are fragile and we all survived even if we never did get swept up in the spirit of Christmas. And. Momo St. In the Us does call me in the rain and on the sons of clothes in the winter has a new me. And I'm going to them a sense of the way. All over the. You're tuned to the spot on 91.7 k l w featuring the best bits and bobs from podcasts and independent radio producers I'm Ashley and Crick bomb. Boyd Applegate's job is driving big rig trucks but his passion is Santa Claus each Christmas boy who dresses up as a real beard Santa he does it for love not money at Story Corps Boyd told his sister Rhonda Dixon how it all started. Santa Claus was a byproduct of truck driving because I drive a truck I can have a beard that's a little bit longer than most people and when the early November my head was called and I didn't have a hat so I stopped at a Wal-Mart they had a wreck of Santa hats right inside the door and I picked one off and I put it on my head and a little 4 year old boy that was walking by with his mother yanked her to a stop and said look it's sad and I have not spent Christmas Eve or Christmas Day at home with my family for the last 18 years I'm usually in a rented red convertible and I do under the tree gift deliveries that are designed for children to wake up and catch me in the middle of the process what are some of your favorite moments doing Santa Claus over the years one young lady wanted me to be her new stuff father of one young lady wanted me to provide her maid I've gone down to Do you want to Mexico and done it where I don't speak the language in fact one year when I was coming back this young man comes running up to the side of the car and when he saw me his eyes opened and his jaw drop and I gave him a really jolly hole hole hole and I handed him this gift and as I went to cross the border the border guard had seen me handing something and he looked at me and he said You really must be Santa and tonight I can't possibly stuff you still go ahead . As a Santa Clause one of the big mistakes you can make is to not believe yourself when I walk out of the house in my suit I cease being me and I absolutely am Santa and no matter whether it's a skeptical teenager or somebody that wants to yank on my beard it doesn't matter what matters the most to me is I believe and Santa Claus is truly the most important thing in my life. That was Boyd Applegate the. King with his sister Rhonda Dixon with Story Corps in 2012 you can hear the backlog of story for interviews at Story Corps dot org or subscribe to the Story Corps podcast this holiday season you can also record your loved ones with the Story Corps app for smartphones and tablets to. The. That's all we have for you today on the spot you can find more episodes of our show . Send your recommendation a podcast or radio producers we should feature in an e-mail to the spot. I'm Ashley and Craig and thanks so much for listening also a very merry holiday season. To you and yours to tune in next week for another episode only on 91.7. Looking for something to. This weekend join me Thursdays for sights and sounds every week I talk to some of the bay's most fascinating artists to hear their picks for what's going down and what's good in the Bay Area art scene when I saw him I was like oh I can be a freak and that is how you do it if you don't know what record auctions is where the it's bad he describes it as a performance ritual come to life through Appin after a futurist full body. How did not want to go to get a disc that sights and sounds check us out every Thursday during Morning Edition and All Things Considered for