Dont think is life is better because of thats the hard news friends, dont think life is better because of it. Maybe its better for the lazy hack and the media who file press releases disguised as news but its not better for america. What youre seeing is a disappearing act, not just of the angry pseudo replaced journalism of the screechy press but big ideas and small ideas too. Him he got leaked to them but it wasnt just operation warp speed which will go down in history as something news. Hey fellows can you speed that of people are dying over here and it wont just be the middle east peace plan that has piled up i cared a barbershop. Trump made a difference there too pretty didnt use her crusty diplomats. He relied on salesmanship is a personal touch. It worked. This is the stuff we ever look at as there was other Amazing Things floating around. The stuff that interested trump were as big as the galaxy like this put a small was the beads of water pummeling your scalp your showerhead ideas big or small he loves them all and if you can get it done he says do it. While critics scoffed trump knew that clever rules ruled the world. To big idea and if you havent thought about it you are missing everything. Anyone can land on the moon these days but the nation that plans a base on it and point their weapons at you spells doom for the rest of us. Its an idea that generations will look back on and say why didnt they think of the space for senator . Because you needed a trump to do it not an obama. He couldnt launch the obamacare web site. Meanwhile trump launched the space force and the vaccine. Think about that for a minute. Anything trump started the u. S. Space forces expected to continue with joe biden in office. Getting rid of it is no simple as pitching a bathrobe for a midnight swim. You need an act of congress. Last week pence announced an official name for the servicemembers. A wouldbe guardians of the history books will record that as well as the vaccine. The middle east peace plan plus what about the showerheads . Theres that small idea. Trump realizes while we cherish National Security we also love strong water pressure. Seriously how about the showers . How about the showers . I have this beautiful head of hair. As you go into the shower you turn on the water and it drips, drip, drip. Sanity take a shower and water comes dripping out. Very quietly dripping out. Have you ever gotten into a shower where no water comes out of . You take a shower in the water doesnt come out so what do you do . You stand there longer or you take a shower longer . With my hair i dont know about you but it has to be perfect. Greg what about toilets . Some people up to flush their toilets 50 times. Greg 50 times it to flush the toilet to the u. S. Department energy made new rules that fulfills trumps goals of efficiency standards have led to the super weak water pressure put a new rules on showerheads which is a win for your quality of life. The media didnt get this because they dont understand or care about your quality of life like this. A standards will just be put back when Biden Takes Office but you still have to admire trumps determination and you have to wonder what would we have 300,000 dead if he had been the village encompass persistent about our uncontrolled pandemic . Greg give me a break. Trump cares about showerheads he cares about covid. Brian, hes not like you. One tiny microwave oven that can barely handle one hot pocket at a time. He is a pizza oven rotating nine or 10 pies at once. He can hold a number of different thoughts in his head. He can think about space and showers and covid and lots of other stuff and he refuses to see limitations in any of them. Trumps motto lets see what happens. People see problems and they troubleshoot. Trump may be the most maligned president in history by the media. Thats because hes not like them. Hes an optimist. A problem is something you fix and if you cant define someone he can. We will see what happens. If joe we will see what happens there too. What is he predicting . I am going to tell you the truth and heres the simple truth. Our darkest days in the battle against covid are ahead of us, not behind us. Greg ahead of the spirit talk about lowering the bar for success and the media was still calling it a big win. A period. Lets welcome tonights guest. His idea bodybuilding is filling a Building Full of bodies. Host of fox nation tom shillue. He choose no tobacco its comedian joe machi. She finds windowshopping a pain. Host of fox nation kat timpf. His christmas stocking have a humvee and it. My massive psychic and host of fox nation tyrus. All right show you seem like the type of person that would be super excited about the space force. Im excited. Technically its been around in some form or other since 82. Its just a separate branch of the military. But guardians the worst names of the washington football team. Like astro nights. I dont understand why people are upset about it. If we have to go to war what is the hope . Maybe they dont want to win. Greg astro nights. That sounds like stop. Greg astro nights. Specific clientele i might add. You knew my mind was going to go there. You know what im sat at myself. I dont even get it. Greg kat astro nights would be a series of 20 to 30. Tom. You see im looking at here hair. You got a haircut and it looks pretty good. Hes more interested in the showerhead phenomenon. During your brilliant on line greg you brought up who is that guy from nbc. Brian williams. You call them a certain name. The way he tried to compare covid to the showerheads and donald trump did make it because he said what happens when you lower the water pressure . You stay in longer in so many covid restrictions have those unintended consequences. Shut down the restaurants and people gather at home. It made me think if you apply his shower logic to covid then we wouldnt have these ridiculous shutdowns greg so a good point. Greg that is a great points but the showerheads he never stopped talking about it and hes right people stay in the shower longer. If we want to save water greg we need to talk to women. I follow the signs in every Scientific Study says women stay in the shower longer, greg. If they could just cut down their showers. Greg kat are you antiscience . I stay in the shower for long time. There are you are. Its a only because i hate the environment. Im like i want to get out but i have to make sure there is more destruction. Greg you try to use as much much waters of family. Sometimes they take eight or 10. I hate the environment. That is why. Greg what do you make of space . Space force, the crazy idea for the space force. There could be some sort of routine system where its held accountable for spending its massive budget and the other branches of the military do the same. I agree with joe progression in china are doing this, we have to do this but i would love to see the military in general there being some accountability. I dont think thats going to happen with biden. He is a big work i but crazier than the space wars. Greg my dream is to see the highpressure showerheads in outer space. A more likely than accountability i will say. Greg tyrus . I have to criticize the old president here for a second. I just feel like you didnt go far enough with the shower. While i appreciate the struggles of water pressure how about the struggle of never having a shower over your head . Every time you take a shower the water goes right here. Youre in the shower going greg you have to do that at every hotel. Do you know what the answer is . Beside shower you can hold it over your head which limits washing and you can only move as far as the court goes so its tragic. I applaud the president for water pressure. But everybody i dont think its wrong. Everybody should calm down. This half as measure coming out of the wall is really unfair. You frolic in spray stuff around and for me its literally a garden hose. Greg by the way we have got to go but i love the shower with the thing because its just great. For you at the microphone. Greg thank you for keeping that joe klain. I had a quick announcement. For new years eve special thursday at 8 00 p. M. Eastern time its live on tape. Join me catherine tyrus and fresh from the priesthood jonathan morris. We will talk about the winners and losers of 2020, memorable moments of the year possibly more. Join us here at a special time 8 00 p. M. Eastern. I didnt know that. Up next the one test nba players can avoid this season. Centrum minis may be small, but they pack a punch. With over 20 essential vitamins and minerals they are the most complete mini multivitamin. So you can focus on punching above your weight. No matter how high you set the bar. Try centrum minis. Keep cosentyx accessible and affordable. If youre taking cosentyx and your insurance or coverage changes or you need help paying cosentyx connect is here to help. Dont use if youre allergic to cosentyx. Before starting, get checked for tuberculosis. An increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur. Tell your doctor about an infection or symptoms, if your inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop or worsen or if youve had a vaccine, or plan to. Serious allergic reactions may occur. Call us or visit us online. Were here for you. Greg during the break i had to explain to two people here the plot to astro nights. They shall look the other way if you are smoking it j or they wont be testing players for marijuana. Alito said in a Statement Due to the unusual circumstances in conjunction with the pandemic we will suspend marijuana testing for the 2021 season. I have no idea why change my voice for that. I felt i had to do it. It will still be in the banned substance list but the legal focus their testing on that performanceenhancing drugs for the player enough time in the court they shouldnt be sent to another one because of how they choose to unwind. I believe we have tape of their next great player smoke face johnson. I wanted to be there for that moment that he discovered that incredible talent. That doesnt happen by accident. Okay do you agree with this decision . Theres too much testing everywhere. We are so possessed with testing. I want to test anybody anymore. Generally im no fan of smoking pot before basketball game. Even that performanceenhancing drugs i think they should test young people. If you are under 30 got to get tested that some of those older players, why not . The thing is the biggest performance enhancing drug these older players i hate seen them struggle on the courts. Greg i like that idea. As you get older you can start taking more drugs on a sliding scale. Thats something somebody high would come up with. Thats my stoner wisdom. Tyrus so many player smoke dope that they should have a team for people who dont smoke to. How about the fact that its legal and dam near half the country now. I play for the lakers and its legal. You can smoke and recreational but then im tested for it every time i play in portland . It makes no sense. Its not fair. We need to get it together. We need to figure out if its legal one place lets make it acrosstheboard. You shouldnt have to test for it. If you see signs of a drug addiction or alcohol abuse then you talk to that individual but acrosstheboard i think its ridiculous. Greg are you going to say libertarian . Bite your tongue. Anytime you get into this you get into world model. These people are rolled models. What do you say to that . Marijuana testing specifically is pretty ridiculous because you can test positive if you smoked a month ago depending on your body. That doesnt tell you anything. You say you evaluating an employee in effect that somebody smoked a month ago doesnt mean they have a crippling marijuana addiction. Its absolutely absurd. Its legal in so many places and the test tells you it could be you smoked a month ago and its not like you are high right now and smoke all the time. Greg okay we get pothead. Joe or reach us giving up . Theres a theory that society can only handle one and we decided early on we could deal with the alcoholics. But the alcoholics and potheads and coke heads and junkies . Junk heads is the correct term. Greg im worried there will be an unintended consequence and i might enjoy the nba much more if all of the players were smoking drugs. I would prefer seeing it. Lebron james he missed any doesnt seem that upset about it. Greg but i have read pot is a performanceenhancing drug. Am i wrong anybody . It depends who you are. If you have that type, some people get paranoid and some have great ideas and some decide to mix things like cookies and pizza. It depends on your character the effects of lead weed. Or you are a napper. Greg for our viewers at home im a libertarian on this. You can compartmentalize that are regulated and put it into packaging and make it less harmful but i just dont understand why people love pot. A it either makes me grumpy and or sleepy. Ive become, im grumpy, im sleepy. Thats because you are smoking when you are already trashed on boos. Greg is that it . Its illegal. Its that whole thing im against the system. When you take that away its a safe way to be gangster because typically you will get your ask it but if you mess with the kilo youve got to go. You know what im saying . You get a beat down. So its a safe way. People say you can still drive after you smoked pot and i say that why are you doing it . Thats a good point. Greg the things i enjoy taking i cant drive so there you go. A juice makers forced to apologize, because, i will tell you later. Nicorette knows, quitting smoking is hard. You get advice like try hypnosis. Or. Quit cold turkey. Kidding me . instead, start small. With nicorette. Which can lead to something big. Start stopping with nicorette good evening and live from americas news headquarters. A Government Shutdown set to take effect at 1201 Tuesday Morning has been averted. After President Trump signed a 900 billiondollar pandemic package just a few hours ago that will deliver cash to businesses in 600 checks to individuals but they will also include 1. 4 trillion to fund the government through september. Chuck schumer says democrats will try to move a separate bill through both houses of Congress Tomorrow increasing the checks to individuals to 2000. Federal authorities have identified the suspect responsible for the earlymorning exposure Christmas Day in nashville. Investigators use dna to identify 63yearold Anthony Quinn warner. He died in the blast spread they still have not determined a motive. Now back to greg got feld show. For all your headlines log on to foxnews. Com. Have pulled the campaign because it included champagne. Trump the canon has apologize for posting promo most the content. Oh my god, on social media after an on line mob said glorified alcoholism. The take a moment tropicana and champagne suggested parents take a break from their hectic lives by enjoying a delicious mimosa. Trump soviet is a relatable lighthearted joke and others that encourage people to do a stress by drinking in secret. Which i do french women which is a sign of addiction. Its no laughing matter so tropicana apologized or trump apologized if you will. Saying they were sorry for hurting anyone who was disappointed or offended and they value the criticism of corporations which means the next corporation will cave to and the mob wins again. What do you have to say for yourself member of the mob to rinse everything . Mob the ruins everything . I wish i love something as much as that dog hates the mail. I dont even know what i just said. Kat what do you make of this mimosa and controversy trying to put it together but i realize they cant do it. How is that grown adults getting drunk off of one mimosa . You can have the mimosa and be fine if you are someone who sees this orange juice commercial and they immediately lock yourself away from your children and get hammered i feel for you and i also dont think it was the commercial. I think you probably have something underlying and we cant joke about alcohol now . You can joke about anything. You can joke about anything. It alcohol can be a court. Greg joe it is unrealistic to have a refrigerator in your bathroom. It could be a warm mimosa i dont know. But you are either lying or you are stupid. It was making fun of how difficult was to be apparent and i dont know anything about that. What i dont like is how these companies are apologizing. Id rather drink orange juice for a company who says hey dont the upset about everything. Greg exactly. Im going to boycott orange Juice Companies that are humorless. Where is anita bryant when we need her the most . Have the people dont know what im talking about. I dont care tyrus. Where do you stand on this . I am mad. Its a mimosa. Its like a tricycle of drinking bikes. Now Yeager Meister or whiskey or tequila doing shots in the bathroom. Maybe then. It took me the story to say it right. I had only seen women drinking them and being a fellow its not like champagne orange juice whos been . And the people complaining didnt have kids. Literally, its so offensive. My wife owns a Weightloss Company and people call in and theyll be like hey what do i have to do to lose weight . You have to eat less and be more active. They dont want the truth. They just want drama. Its what they do. Its unbelievable. Dont answer the phone. Greg by the way the real outrage would be a child could crawl into that little refrigerator. There is no lock on it. They are worried that might tip off someone who is looking for a drink. You dont leave your supplies in the bathroom. You can carry a mimosa from the kitchen. Only 20 feet away. It looks like orange juice when its a mimosa. Just tell the kid its orange juice. Dont touch mommy strength. You have to feel bad for these companies. Hard for anyone to have brand loyalty for mimosa. I only drank tropicana mimosas. You also have to feel bad for them because the only way to get attention is to apologize. No one pays attention to you until you apologize. Greg i did as a monologue. It just made the rounds and now i want a mimosa. I would argue, take the fight back to these groups. Greg they see how easy it is to get somebody to knuckle under. We grew up on foster brooks. And otis the drunk on andy griff is. Drunks were fun back then. Greg and stoned all the time while driving. You know what gets me they didnt have any comical heroines then. Okay im going. They want me to shut up now. Coming up, python. Its whats for dinner. The holidays are a time for giving. To your friends. Your family. To your teachers. In that spirit of giving, chevys proud to give our employee discount to everyone. The chevy price you pay,. Is what we pay. Not a cent more. Because giving,. And giving back, is what the holidays are all about. Use the chevy employee discount for everyone to get a total value of over eight thousand four hundred dollars on this silverado. Get the chevy employee discount for everyone today. Janie, come here. Check this out. Let me see. She looks. Kind of like me. Yeah. Thats because its your grandma when she was your age. Oh wow. Thats. Thats amazing. Oh and she was on the debate team. Yeah, thats probably why youre the debate queen. Mmhmm. Ill take that. Look at that smile. I have the same dimples as her. Yeah. The same placements and everything. Unbelievable. Greg is it safe to eat . Florida of course great for scientists are investigating mercury pythons found in the everglades to see if they are safe to consume. It certainly could end up on restaurant menus across the state. Its part of a program to manage the python population. Thats because the snakes are native to florida but they have been a growing problem. The 1980s tom and they pose a risk to native wildlife in the region like rabbits and raccoons. Who cares about the records . For years the state Wildlife Commission has encouraged people to humanely kill pythons. I believe we have the typical python hunt tape. Greg oh my hard. Thats where it came from you gorgeous couple. I even idea what you call the stuff that you put on a snake. Anna condiment. I lived in florida for a while and im into the animal activist thing. This species thing is kind of the big deal but you want to eat python, great, go ahead. We eat everything else. We dont need a team of scientists to decide. Im pretty sure for the floridians who hang out in the everglades there are no. They are now. They make great food and apparently it taste like chicken. The e alligator in everything else. But they tend to exaggerate to the one thing i noticed was they exaggerate. They will be like they are everywhere. We find one every six years. The pet shop stickers still on it from where they escaped. Greg my house was ratified year for the weekend could they were looking at me and i dont wear any clothing in my house. They were giving me that look. I think you call it the deer gaze. I dont need the mail deer gaze. There are judgments hold dear. Greg they are in great shape and im. I cant believe theres such a demand for eating exotic animals. Anyone ever heard of the wuhan market . People want to eat bats now . Its the most obvious thing and i completely missed that. Everybodys getting sick from a disease. Lets start eating these cobras. Maybe they dont have mercury levels. If you get a fever you can eat a python. I was just bad. Im 100 on board for eating python. I cant go to the everglades right now. You will see my arms and my biceps. Welcome to the gun show. Greg who wants to go to the everglades . Never glades is what i call it. Im on fire tonight. Ive always thought of them as my friends. Greg really . You cant even pronounce them. I ate incorrectly mispronounced one species of lizard and this is the fifth time its been brought up on the show. Weekend mistakes and not have it be an issue. Think of the kinds of meals you could have at the restaurant if python caught on but think about python skin. Its really long to do everybody can eat from the pythons skin. Sour cream. The skin would be kind of tough. I would think the meat inside would be tender and. Greg may be. Is going to be deepfried. I dont have a gold statue as some of us do but if i had one here i would deepfried it and i think we would say its kind of delicious. Greg scary animals have gotten a free ride. We eat normal ones. We eat cattle because of their cute hides and we eat chickens because they are stupid but snakes are scary so we cant eat them . Adam and eve they pretty much protected them. I read my bible. All right im going. Something no show has ever done in the history of television. Dont worry, julie. Coughings not new. This woman coughs. And that guy does, too. People cough in the country, at sea, and downtown. But dont worry, julie. Robitussin shuts coughs down. Subaru created the share the love event. N years ago, where our new owners could choose a national or hometown charity. And subaru and our retailers would proudly make a donation. But now, in times like these, companies are having a hard choice to make. But subaru is more than a car company. And as charities struggle, we cannot just stand by. Which is why we plan to donate over twenty four million dollars, again this year. The subaru share the love event, going on now. Want to sell the best burger add an employee. Ode . Or ten. Then easily and automatically pay your team and file payroll taxes. That means. World domination or just the west side. Run payroll in less than five minutes with intuit quickbooks. [whats this . ] oh, are we kicking karly out . We live with at t. It was a lapse in judgment. At t, we called this house meeting because you advertise gigspeed internet, but we cant sign up for that here. Yeah, but im just like warming up to those speeds. Youve lived here two years. The personal attacks arent helping, karly. Dont you have like a hot pilates class to get to or something . [ muffled scream ] stop living with at t. Xfinity can deliver gig to the most homes. Greg time once again you write i read as if we all make eggnog out of cows blood. I will pick it out at the sheriffs have. He still doesnt know i took it from him. Its not a real sheriff, i think. I met him at a bar. Everybody was in costume. Read the mail greg. Greg this is from chris. What is the most for credible and demeaning job and dont say so so they have ever had . 20 extra points if you were a to pay for college. We dont need that kind of dope on the show. I do open for greg gutfeld. Those are great jokes great, great to life jokes. I work in nursing homes. I was a rougher like hannity bragging about my bluecollar job. I repaired the roof and i dug their ditches. I used to clean cigarette stains off of drop ceilings. That was probably the worst. Greg that is pretty bad. What about you joe . In college i worked as a telemarketer. They fired me because i was too polite to the customers. Greg i wish i could have seen that happen. I gave you look for every answer. No i dont have any money flip to no, dont have any money. I would just say okay thank you. Greg that tight you a valuable lesson. Dont want to be a telemarketer and you want to be something else. A year before he got the job on this show i headed gig and there was a youtube or launching the angry bird cupcakes are the cupcake shop so i had to wear and angry bird have that was very heavy. It was 45 pounds and dance around for all the children for a couple hundred dollars. There is debut on the internet somewhere. Yeah and i did that for many many hours and i was very sore because it was a big head and it was sweaty and it smelled bad but the kids just loved it. Greg im sure theres some kind of the market for that. Tyrus . I once was home for college and might friend had an easy job for me. To drive to california to bring a car from a guy selling to another guy. I pulled over for gas. I have to fill up the tank and i was filling it up and he said no more than half a tank. No more than half a tank campy more than half the tank. I said why . You will get killed if its more than half the tank. Their stuff in there. Say what . There is stuff in the gas tank. So i didnt sleep the rest of the trip. And we are not friends any more. We are not friends anymore and at one point i said what is it . It isnt tied. Does help me get through this. We arent friends anymore. Greg it would be great if it was something totally legal. Like bagels. Why would you hide bagels in the gas tank . I had a job, and waddled soda. The only thing that was awful about that is it was minimum wages 3. 35 and i watched a guy bottle his thumb. His thumb came off in front of me put it was pretty disgusting but the worst job was one i didnt get. I interviewed for a job as ratcatcher in san mateo county. You have to set traps in the manhole. They didnt give me the job because i think my dad told them not to give it to me. I dont want my son being no ratcatcher. No son of mine is going to be a ratcatcher. State catchers dont like it. All right lets do another one. Similar to that one. First concert at what was the first concert you went to . Mine was in detroit in 1999. You are part of this conversation. You just ask your question you dont answer. I went to see the in pennsylvania. Its too bad once you get a reputation those guys are really talented. Greg they were the beatles times three. Tom they were better than the beatles. They were all good singers. Greg they auditioned for their talent. Cheap trick. My ears were ringing the next day. Greg i saw the police and seller back at the Civic Auditorium with pat travers opening. Blue oyster cult whoa but then i saw the police and this little nonband called the neck and a pop singer guitarist. I talk too much tyrus. My first concert, my mother took me to Bruce Springsteen concert. I was listening to it and i was just sitting there and i thought you know he looks really familiar to me. When he was on the big screen i was like i looked at my mother and i looked back at the screen. Is that the guy from the first time we move to california and she was like just watch the concert. I didnt really like the guy. She was pretty excited when she got to dance on the stage to dancing in the dark when i was a child. I think we have met before. I was on my way to get capn crunch in the morning and the guy looks like he needs a shave. Cigarettes on the couch. Its greg that is a great story. Why did you take me hear . I sat there through the rest of the concert going this guy. Thanks mom. How did you get these tickets again . Greg i know you can beat that story. Maybe you cant. Ive seen them several times. Greg also buried talented. My mom was like i dont want you going without me. 50 something years old. Good thing you came with me. Greg that was a great viewer mail. We are the thrivers. Women with metastatic breast cancer,. Standing in the struggle. Hustling through the hurt. Asking for science, not sorrys. Our time. For more time. Has come. Living longer is possible and proven in women taking kisqali plus fulvestrant or a nonsteroidal aromatase inhibitor. Kisqali is the only treatment in its class with proven overall survival results in 2 clinical trials. Helping women live longer with hr , her2 metastatic breast cancer. Kisqali was also significantly more effective at delaying disease progression. 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L, with over 20 essential vitamins and minerals they are the most complete mini multivitamin. So you can focus on punching above your weight. No matter how high you set the bar. Try centrum minis. Greg we are out of time. Thanks tom, thanks joe kat and tyrus could im greg gutfeld and i love you america