Quiz, when you think of the state of the Democratic Party, what does it remind you of, this. Will happewhat happened, wha. Or this. [laughter] greg or this. [laughter] you see this is what i do for a living. I look at the news and try to come up with the visual analogy, and the problem of the democrats there such a mess they spend a lifetime doing it. I will go with just one, the Democratic Party is a neighborhood kat lady, although left are the cats. It started out fine, it was not bad when she had one and when he opened up her back porch then you see this. So is it any surprise the Democratic Party is led by one. The people are lining up. Thats a good thing. In other countries people did not line up. [laughter] he hates capitalism a feline who has bread line. Maybe he deserved a nomination, to a step back and see the big picture, the century long battle between free societies, bernies are eternally wrong fuzz muppets who chose darth vader over von zola. Instead of america he picked the team that lost, the one that contributed to hell on earth, as success can only be enjoyed if you choose to ignore the mountain of misery behind it. So the berlin law come wall com, but sanders says we still have cuba. [laughter] but bernie searches, joe continues. His slowmotion collapse. If only there were analogy for buying his campaign. [laughter] it looks like his team could use industrialstrength viagra. Which is not a surprise given the articulate brilliance of dogbased pony soldier. [cheering] which is my screen name on grinder. [laughter] so what is joe got to say about that. Now joe biden on insult. Look, a simple formula, action plus animal party part plusplus animal profession. Yeah, i have a million of those. Come on. Come at me you salesclerk. Where you at you salamander boat campton, how do you like them apples, by the way joe gets his apples just like everybody else why the money by one at a time. [cheering] greg we kept warning everybody, he may not make it, no one had the guts to tell him, not even his buddy obama who would not be in the same room as him. He is treating joe like a porcupine with chlamydia. Obama is literally the guy who did just as boring friend at the party. And hes definitely ditched joe putting him off on the rest of us, i have a solution, the dems should throw joe a surprise retirement party. [laughter] dont tell him. Just have him show up for meeting in the surprise confetti ice can cake, the gold watch speeches, face painting, heavy back on a plane to delaware completely forgetting he was running for president. [laughter] [applause] which is a good thing. I kind of love the guy but hes like the doctor with a great bedside manner who keeps her removing the wrong kidney. Besides joe does not need to run against trump even when mickey mouse could beat him. Now joe biden on mickey mouse. This may surprise you, i am not opposed to a mickey mouse donald duck ticket. Duct ticket duck tape. Why do we have to murder those just to make tape. What about dvds, heres a tip for you, joe, you dont have to rewind your dvds just take them back to blockbuster as is. [laughter] i have a slogan on my campaign, be kind, rewind. [laughter] greg as the dems keep losing, trump keeps winning, the troubled economy is making everyone happy is better than spot interest biking the water supply with prozac. If your 401k is kicking ass, you dont cash it all out, what a mess the dems offer america, it got deleted for the other team because he despised his own so much more, mayor pete is a walking scrabble dictionary. Liz, what can we say about her that will she is not already made up about herself. [applause] greg joe is a nice old man who has not just list of stuff but replace the dam water. What do you say joe. Joe biden on his finish in New Hampshire. Fifth place . Come on man. Where i come from that is like winning first place four times. [laughter] lucky number five. Party of five, scott wolf, goodlooking kid. Wolf pucks, like regular pox but not scary. Scary movie, five and up, who in New Hampshire now . Text joe to fifth place. [cheering] greg lets welcome tonights guest, he has more culture than a gallon of yogurt, mark steyn. [cheering] greg this man got bin laden to open up, former navy seals rob oneill. Shes as grim as she is trim, fox nation kat timpf. [cheering] he does not drive, he orbits, my massive psychic tyrus. [cheering] greg all right mark, are you excited about the democrats, anyone that excites you . Amy klobuchar, no one knows anything about her except her conecomb so when joe biden is snipping her hair he get the thousand island dressing. [laughter] greg rob, what are your thoughts. I find myself walking on the house out of nowhere same buttigieg, i love the name and if i go to the name beetlejuice, the voice of Robert De Niro shows up. [laughter] i dont have a problem with a lot of these candidates, joe biden has been in office for 48 years, come back to washington and change it. [laughter] these are the people with the problem, pandering to the left with the ridiculous socialism crab will never work, trump will win in the landside. [cheering] greg rob oneill [applause] b1 greg i want to point out tht was a total pandering. Oneill 2024. What about joe. I feel so bad, i was watching New Hampshire stuff. [laughter] i was watching it coming, he was not doing a great job, i was feeling so bad for him and i wanted to take care of him and make him feel better even though i never liked him in the first place. It was like everybody i dated in my 20s. So honestly now i am doing better i am doing great. If there were more people in america who work codependent 20 something, maybe he would be doing a lot better than he is. I mightve even voted for him. But we all have gotten the therapy that we need and its not going to work out and its really sad to watch. I would not take care of him. I recognize toxic patterns. Greg what about you tyrus. Heres the thing the impeachment, who did it really hurt . Who did the democrats destroy with impeachment . It was two older white man involved in impeachment. Ones ratings went up, one had alltime turnout for voters and it was only him to vote for, and one guy got obliterated off the entire planet, joe biden. Congratulation democrat your impeachment, you destroyed joe bidens presidency. With the impeachment, we will find out eventually with the 33000 deleted emails for Hillary Clinton were about. Every democratic voter was like great should we support biting in around november the fbi will say you and your son need to have a conversation buried. Greg instead of playing fair and letting the voters decide, the screw themselves. We are going to talk about trumps tweet, that is next, dont not go anywhere. [cheering] hi guys. This is the Chevy Silverado with the worlds first invisible trailer. Invisible trailer . And its not the trailer right next to us . This guy . You dont believe me . Hop in. Good lookin pickup, i will say that. Oh wow. Silverado offers an Optional Technology package with up to 15 different views including one enhanced view that makes your trailer appear invisible. Wow. Thats pretty sweet. Thats cool. Oooohh thats awesome. Whered the trailer go . I love it. Its magic. Greg trump keeps scoring the dems still boring, what did the dems learn from impeachment. The democrats are crooked, they have a lot of crooked things going, they are vicious, they should not have brought impeachment. Anything else . My numbers are ten points higher because of fake news like nbc. [applause] greg the country kept driving during impeachment in america is starting to notice, they asked are you better off than you were three years ago, they share 61 said yes, better off under trump, a number way higher, obama did not get the high, nor did bush or clinton or bush 41, trumps number is so high i can get a nosebleed reading it. That will be tough for any of the candidates to be. Honestly is trump going to worry about the. If i work for texas i may say donald trump is scared as a cat at the dog pound. But since i am from new york, i put it this way, we are scaring the living hell out of him and were just starting right now. Greg i dont think texans say that. [laughter] and i dont think trump is scared of that. Even cnn knows the Trump Victory in november is not that hard to get there. It is not that hard to get there because nork caroline is a swing state, they tend to lean red, florida in recent elections ringliens red and president ial politics, arizona, democrats think they can win, lets see, it leans red, those three states give the president 259, look at the math he could get there easily winning pennsylvania again, that would get him over the top lets say goes blue, president could get there by winning michigan again, that can get it over the top you could do it with accommodation of New Hampshire and wisconsin, if you look at the map now the president has a viable path. Greg you cannot hear in the back don lennon quietly weeping. [applause] the dems better find Something Else to investigate like to under President Trump interfering in the roger stone case with the tweet. But trump tweets all the time which means he interviews and everything. Mike bloomberg a massive debt energy. [laughter] new stock market record, spend your money wisely. [laughter] a lineup on fox tonight with jesse watters, judge jeanine and greg gutfeld. [cheering] greg thats a real quick tweet, you name it he is going to tweet it, the dems are trying to impeach trump with all they have expression with the majority says the better off when 90 thinks my life is good, when the first impeachment did not put a single dent in trumps armor, will they tried again, i hope so because i really miss adam schiff. Slide down a mountain in my bare feet. Ready or not here i test, ready or not. Have they called security. I say i have the light, i recognize myself, good night. [applause] greg rob, thoughts in general, what are you thinking. In general i know President Trump, he can never not Say Something about me, he brought me to the lincoln bedroom, im looking at the gettysburg address and i turn around and he said rob not everybody gets to see this unless youre donating to the clinton foundation. [laughter] you just cannot. Its funny, here in bloomberg talk, i like to make jokes once in while, my number one joke is never about poop but always assault number two. [laughter] that has nothing to do with anything. [laughter] that was a pretty good joke. For all of the money that bloomberg has, he cannot have found a comedian coach. It can be 250,000, all do the jokes for you. He literally said in texas he was more nervous than a cat at a dog pound. [laughter] why, all the dogs are locked up. And then he was like, how are we doing in new york, and the crowd was like how do you do new york . The entire place was like when sometimes when people talk and they cannot tell a story, it hurts so bad you cannot look at them. I guarantee you the entire audience by the time he got done were like and then you have to look back to acknowledge because hes looking at you. [laughter] lets go. When you dont have charisma or talent in your rebellion or, you buy it. Im on sale ill get up there. Greg i think he is paying for it but hes getting lousy jokes. I think so too. [laughter] it is so weird. Because he probably has somebody to feed him ice cream i would think about voting for a guy this is that if im your president this is going to happen, and someone feed you ice cream and theres a giant gingerbread flipping around. And him riding a big giant cat that he made from a dinosaur. Get things done. Instead we get a cat and a dog, steers and cowboy hats. Greg what do you think . Is it my time to talk . [laughter] im pretty sure they just talked over me the whole time. But that was good. I entered did i hear that right . Im amazed. Pirates enterprispirates, i d it worsened in 2016. Every time i came on the show, used to do hillary when she would say, boy i want to tell you and she would do that. [laughter] remember going to the polls. All bloomberg has to do is boy hes about as scared as me as a cat and a dog pound and he get the hillary invention. Trump is funny. Whether you like him or dont like him, he is objectively hilarious and you will not be able to be funnier than he is. That is a good point, you should be the guy. [applause] that is not funny. Because the democrats are actually great humorless party, the party of the humor. Greg bloomberg versus trump, a tortoise versus the hair, he looks like a tortoise and trump has the hair. [cheering] [laughter] orders. Now back to greg got till show. Greg take a lesson from mikey, dont extort nike. [laughter] greg former lawyer for Stormy Daniels, Michael Avenatti was convicted for 24 million from nike, the litigating lollipop said he was taking an aggressive legal move but the baldheaded bozo is facing up to 42 years in june when he has two more trials coming up facing charges of defrauding Stormy Daniels and other clients. She hired him to screw trump and turned out he screwed her instead. [laughter] anyway he is the worst lawyer ever, which says a lot, the man the media loves. To me youre like the holy spirit. [laughter] all places at all times. Looking ahead at 2021 reason im taking users as a contender is because your presence on cable news. You are currently leading the pack among 2020 contenders on the democrat side. I think you doing a hell of a job, i dont think youre in it for money. [laughter] greg how [bleep] are these people. Why do we keep playing them. It is fun, but also to remind you dear viewer, that you saw this guy for what he was. Scum. But the media tried to persuade you he was Something Else. Further proof that the established media is wrong on nearly everything. We go now to the media for their apology. [applause] greg why did stelter and that crazy lady from the veal, why, what is wrong with them . I dont know but im going to disagree with chris matthew, i think it may have had something to do with money. [laughter] i dont know, he is obviously a terrible terrible man and he is obviously incarcerated but what he did was wrong, but i also do have the life goal of being sunday rich enough where i fully understand what extortion is and how you do that. How did he think this is going to work . I know what nike is, ive seen the checkmark all over the place, im sure theres some pretty powerful dudes running that place, one dude can take all of nike, come on. Greg pyrus, the media built him up. Stelter says whos going to be the next contender. He persuaded me. [laughter] i believed in him and i spent 3 to his iowa campaign. He was out for the cnn hero award. He took off in the russians grabbed him and threw him in jail. Because he was [bleep] criminal. [laughter] [cheering] greg could you imagine, cnn would have them back on. Nevada and South Carolina but bring in a candidate who was going to save him. He was shaking down nike for 25 million, he had already spent it, he spent the money. He was not just a bad lawyer, he had a chain of coffee shops as well so he actually sold decaf cappuccino. Im rich enough to know what a marquee out of a. So looking at this guy, he ripped off his coffee house partner, he had stormy, he was going around doing 5000 suit while she was dancing on a bar in virginia for a couple of dollar bills to pay him. But the best thing about it he was supposed to be the guy that was going to put trump in. In one of the best lines when he said did he wear a condom. [laughter] to Stormy Daniels, and i thought this was great, were getting a real sex scandal. Lets put on a nice couple t input on the sex scandal. They said its a campaignfinance thats why you cannot get anywhere in this country because of the sex scandal, you wait two minutes and its a campaignfinance thing. I never quite bought him and i was waiting for the other shoe to drop. And i never thought it would be nike. [laughter] i see what you did there. Every time he traded to target term, there was a blowback. The worst contestant. Donald trump is a billionaire, he did not need to do this, he wants to make the country better, even before john f. Kennedy they were saying we can beat the americans as long as we take hollywood, universities and the media. In my question, when will we get rid of these [bleep] [laughter] [applause] what about the Stormy Daniels, mike avenatti, blumenthal, the vietnam guy, no shame at all, they are out there proving, i dont get it. The guy that fought for the country, i do not get it. Greg i think you are mad. I am good. [laughter] dont try to shoot me. A lot of us were upset because we were persuaded. We have more stuff to come. Dont go anywhere. [applause] greg the story that took america by storm. Or at least the media during a slow news day. But now you have seen this video, two passengers on an American Airlines flight, one reclines the seat back, that the passenger does not like it, hit to the back of her chair repeatedly said to recline or not to recline, a debate going back to the roman empire which humans and chickens fought to the death over such matters and then they buy them love. [laughter] , that is wrong. For more we go to the airline correspondent chad and chad with a live demo on how to sit on a plane. [laughter] classic chad, always has to look at his self. Try to ignore the video, you are a huge man, that guy would not have pounded your chair. He wouldve only done it once. [laughter] but i have to deal with the lien back all the time. And it should be uncomfortable to feel the knees before the lien, so when they leaned back i dont have to do the punch. What kind of punch was that. He was just being annoying when he couldve said excuse me ma maam, it hurts when you lean back, do you mind not leaning back, im sorry i wont lean back, try that first. A grown man was doing a temper tantrum. Thats where were at america . He is bald as hell, he is grow grown,. [laughter] the least he could do is say. [laughter] just one time, give me back my son, give me back my son. Watch the movie. The point is, that the woman you should never hit. Greg air travel is situate people who are a holes and they get on the plane and dont fly very often and they get worse. This guy couldve checked in early and got better seats. I do not recline my seat, it is not because they think its wrong, its because i try to one time 12 years ago and i cannot figure out how so i just stop trying forever. [laughter] i