this, being donald trump. apparently he's a tough old boss. would say stop the presses but brian might accuse me of demanding the paper be closed. the guy takes everything literally. you tell him a knock knock joke and he looks for the door. [ laughter ] >> so a lot of people want to know who captain anonymous is. the people denying it's them are mike pence, mike pompeo, mike brady. [ laughter ] >> dan coats, james mattis. flipper. rick perry, ben carson, hershey the love bug. gina haspel. kellyanne conway and crackle from snap, crackle and pop. but the big scoop this week, some employees just don't like their boss. yep, this is pulitzer stuff. a boss known for being inquisitive and blunt is exposed for being inquisitive and blunt. i know, it's terrible. he's rude. he doesn't say hi in the hall ways. he once forgot my birthday. no giant chocolate chip cookie cake for me. what kills me is so obvious this was written by a pissed off flunky. the assistant to the assistant manager. if you work in an office, he's the guy that won't do the job he's asked to do and his boss is pissed and you think he should be pissed you dumb ass! how odd is it this piece and woodward's book appeared at the same time. perhaps they're all from the same source. hmmmm -- [laughter] >> that source is telling us that yes, donald trump is a big meanie, a jerk, but a highly confident one. buried in this emotional screen is one seering admission, the country is safer and more prosperous under trump. two meaningless variables, safety and prosperity. it's a shame. trump's done nothing about the real problems we face. like condiment water. you know when you turn over the ketchup and mustard container and looks like the bottle is peeing off your sandwich or cheese off a plate. it's like cement. i throw the plate out. or run out of toilet paper and end up having to use this? [laughter] >> or this? >> oh! >> or this. >> oh! >> yes. nope. just prosperity and safety. the only two availables that matter are reduced to a sentence. one sentence canceled out everything else in this sucky piece. fact, if it takes a jerk to make this country great. let's bring on the jerks. >> i'm running to be your senator. there's about four years where i don't remember a thing. like around 02 to 06 give or take a few years. wow? i was drunk. one time got arrested for trying to board a river boat naked. that was at disneyland. and i was also in season three of intervention addicted to window cleaner and paying off my sister for crashing her car into an atm in order to get money for an xbox. vote cathy von vander trap for u.s. senate. greg: this week's scoops are more the same dribble absent of russian collusion, it's hallway whispers from underlings about a jerky boss. cry babies versus the jerk and other cry babies pretend there were no jerks before trump. the people pushing the previous campaigns were flinging in mud like chimps on metamucil.. trump talk trash but does so out in the open. he's a jerk! i'm a jerk! we need a new party for jerks. >> hey, it's me, tim, i want to be your next governor. in the early 80s i made a film under an assumed name. i would call them r-pictures, they were porn. i'm not going to lie. serious porn, this will curl your toes, folks. i cleaned up my act and totally legit, except for the robbery charges which i pled no contest for. i want to best serve you, once i'm done for serving disorderly time. i'm tim mctimmons. >> paid for by the jerk party. greg: hard to be a jerk. hard to be a jerk. that's the problem for trump, bedside manner is for losers, failures need it. a bad doctor needs a bad personality because he keeps losing patients. trump is about good news. first trump was crazy, then hitler, now racist, now he's a big meanie. yep, a jerk. so what. accept it, embrace it. hell, let's join the party. >> i'm running for congress. and. as election day nears. things are hot. the first two didn't go so well probably because of the rampant flandering. my kids still hate me after i spent christmas with a flight attendant. my parents hate me because i bet on illegal boxing matches in my cousin's basement. i have a few skeletons in my closet, and by that i mean human bodies, devoid of flesh they keep as personal trophies. anyway, i figured this is all going to come out in the end anyway. so you vote for razor shorts for congress. tell them rodney sent. >> you paid for by the jerk party. >> let's welcome tonight's guest. she's my co-host "the five" and dated a guy named troy. >> that's not true! >> my mom told me when i was 13, don't go on the three-wheelers with troy. >> was one of them troy. >> we'll find out troy's last name and we will be reunited. >> he's hideous. >> he's not hideous, believe me that. greg: it's dana perino. his new album is called threes comedy, writer and comedian, joe devito. [cheers and applause] . greg: a lot of spunk and lights to get krunk, "national review" writer kat timpf. former wwe superstar, my massive side kick, tyrus. [cheers and applause] >> get started. dana, what do you make of the article. you have a theory. don't you have a theory about this? >> couple theories. couple theories so usually if you are serving the president of the united states you do it because you are an honorable person with dignity and integrity and class. this joker is not that. the "new york times" decided to publish this, okay, fine. free country, first amendment. a senior administration official could be somebody as lowly as i used to be at the white house when i was a deputy press second. that is a legitcertain administration official, also not the white house, it's a senior administration official, that means across the entire government. someone working for the epa in colorado could be this person. the other thing is they say they're being so effective. they're being so effective protecting the country. if that's the case, keep your mouth shut. greg: very good. >> just do it.. greg: joe, what gets me mad, i've been in companies and know people like, this they don't like the boss, and they are passive-aggressive. why aren't you president, then? you didn't run and you didn't win so shut the f up! >> yeah. nobody voted for this person, and i think it's strange you can't act like a member of the resistance when you are still in the same health care plan the evil empire fighting again. if it's that bad, become a former senior administration official. say your name and go through the and make real change. [ applause ] i think it's interesting they're saying we're keeping trump from doing damage, though things are going well. think this through, if things are going well and trump doesn't know what's going to happen. >> keep doing it. >> he's going to get elected for another four years because you made him look good, you dope! it doesn't make sense. greg: kat, do you have a theory there is no mole and was written by the "new york times"? >> i don't know, thing is possible this is a very low-level person. it doesn't have to be a mike pence or a kelly. i think we're going to find out who this person is because like i said before, there's an entire genre of books that we're going to have the disgruntled former employee the trump administration genre, and i think that this person is probably just practicing. greg: right? >> could be a book proposal of sorts. >> exactly. greg: so i think you want to come out and try to be a hero of the left which he will be, even though he worked somewhere in the low-level agriculture department. >> i love that. greg: you mean he's a farmer? >> no, it was the first department that came to my head. greg: why are you knocking farmers? they are great americans. >> how is that a knock to farmers? >> i don't know, tired of letters coming to me. tyrus, any thoughts on the jerk party. i feel i could be the first candidate for the jerk party? >> yeah, you the only candidate for the jerk party. [laughter] >> listen, everybody. i did it. [laughter] >> and i have a reason why. i want to be press secretary for the day, and they wouldn't let me, so i read a couple pages of all the bad books and i wrote a letter and i sent it to "new york times." they didn't even call me. they just printed it. [ laughter ] >> by the way, if i'm going to accept that on face value so it's up to the times to dispute this that tyrus. >> i did it, he wouldn't let me be press secretary for the day. i told how horrible it would be to work for him. greg: i believe it's an opinion piece by a pissedoff underling. >> omarosa did it. [ laughter ] >> it is possible this person will unveil himself before the show airs. >> he just did. i don't understand. i did it. i did it. [laughter] >> i have it on the notes on the iphone, i'll give it to you after the show. greg: what were you going to say? >> this is a person being given advantage of being called a senior administration official. that is worth something because while you have that benefit and the power there, you can bet that this person is out scouting for their next private sector job of which they are going to have a higher salary, a higher title, more power, so it's a real jerk move. greg: yeah, it is a jerk move. >> you are not listening. [ laughter ] >> contributing editor at "vanity fair" will be the new title, six figures, low sevens. >> for real? okay, i did it. greg: up next, was this woman sending a secret racist message on tv during the brett kavanaugh hearing or scratching her arm? probably scratching her arm. let's do this anyway. carnation breakfast essentials. it has protein plus vitamins and minerals to help kids be their best. carnation breakfast essentials. feeclaritin and relief fromwsy symptoms caused by over 200 allergens. like those from buddy. because stuffed animals are clearly no substitute for real ones. feel the clarity. and live claritin clear. more and more people in a chevy for the first time. ♪ you can too during the chevy labor day sales event. now through september 10th, use labor day cash and trade up to this silverado to get a total value of $11,000 when you finance with gm financial. this labor day, discover why chevy is the most awarded and fastest growing brand the last four years overall. find new roads at your local chevy dealer. it's good to... see you again, baron. a toast, to your demise. wanna get away? now you can with southwest fares as low as 69 dollars one-way. that's transfarency. (clap, clap, ding) you made moonshine in a backwoods still. smuggled booze and dodged the law. even when they brought you in, they could never hold you down. when i built my family tree and found you, i found my sense of adventure. i set off on a new life, a million miles away. i'm heidi choiniere, and this is my ancestry story. now with over 10 billion historical records, discover your story. get started for free at ancestry.com discover your story. ♪ one look at you and i can't disguise ♪ ♪ i've got hungry eyes ♪ i feel the magic between you and i ♪ ♪ i've got hungry eyes ♪ now i've got you in my sights ♪ applebee's new 3-course meal starting at $11.99. now that's eatin' good in the neighborhood. . greg: the outrage lingers over her fingers. it was the first day of the kavanaugh hearings when on twitter oddballs accused the wife of a u.s. attorney of flashing a white power sign! [laughter]. greg: what dope, amy accused zina bash of the sin and was retweeted over social media mob that ferociously targeted the woman whose grandparents were holocaust survivors. once the panic was exposed did the pitchfork cynics resign? they said it distracted from trump's white supremacist policies. you mutter my heart was in the right place. the blood on pitchfork still dripping, because the mob has a thirst for scalps. without the swarm, the lonely people are idle cranks. by the way thursday night, zina bash made the sign again. [ laughter ] >> and the tweets started again. is she trolling? is she racist? or telling someone okay? let's look at the tape. >> that's dictated from above, by the government. greg: i think someone -- i think someone asked her how big a golf ball was? [laughter] >> anyway, makes me wonder what other hand gestures have we overlooked. >> it happened at the brett kavanaugh confirmation hearings, we were told zina bash was captured on camera contorting her fingers to white supremacists, was this a piece of sinister unsolved puzzle? zina bash appeared to make the sign on september 4th. what was nixon secretly trying to tell us? if you subtract four slices from a whole pizza, you get half, which resembles a halfmoon. this was the lunar phase on september 13th, 1970, the same day black sabbath released their album. the first to popularize the devil horn gesture in rock music, that is known as the hookem horns to cheer on university of austin, texas where george w. bush governed before winning the presidency. could bash say it is a secret cabal of satanists and fire pit to relentless sin and excruciating chaos, and who could be behind this? well, who worked for george w. bush? we don't know. we're just asking the question. [ laughter ] >> 2 for 2 today. [laughter] >> oh! >> all right, i got to go to you tyrus, have you ever made a hand gesture that people -- >> would you like one right now? >> listen i thought she was playing a game i used to play in school called scoper. like this, and scoper quit looking, it's like a thing, and then her buddy is like do it again. she said okay to the person who asked the question because they're back there trying to fact find and do work for him while getting asked ridiculous questions. she might say okay, okay. that's probably what it was. but people want to know what this is all the time, and i'm not going to tell you. [laughter] >> whisper it to us. >> cracks me up, she said okay. greg: dana, was it smart to troll people at the end? >> yeah, sure. doesn't look like it. when you play the actual tape, okay, got it. it's a way because you have to be silent during the hearings. you have to use a signal. we all know what this means. it means okay, it is not white supremacy, but if she was trolling, i'd send her $100. [ laughter ] >> joe, what do you make of the hearings, and this in particular? >> the solution is a hand burka, no one gets distracted. you have to keep in mind that this gesture as a white supremacist gesture is complete nonsense, it was a joke that started about a year ago, doing this in hindo and buddhist cultures for thousands of years, the idea that suddenly white supremacists, what are they having a membership drive? it's the mexican jews -- greg: the mexican jew. >> the whole thing is nonsense. i don't worry about it, my fists -- i'm new york all the time. my fists are curled in impotent rage all the time. greg: can you talk about the hand or cory booker and i could roll tape. what would you want to talk about? >> i really want to talk about the hand. greg: talk about the hand. >> i'm really disturbed that people are looking that closely at other people's hands. [laughter] >> because i really need a manicure, and i don't want to go because that part at the end where you have to sit there like this for what feels like forever, i mean, it is an oppressive amount of time where you are left with nothing but your own thoughts. >> and looking in the mirror. >> looking in the mirror, you can't vape, you can't tweet, you can't text, you are sitting there like, this for who? so other people looking at your fingers will be satisfied? i'll say i'm done with it! [cheers and applause] . greg: that was almost as impressive as cory booker. do we have time to roll corey booker. >> i'm going release the e-mail about racial profiling, the penalty comes with potential ousting from the senate. if senator cornyn believes i have violated senate rules, i openly invite and accept the consequences. >> this is about the closest i'll probably ever have in my life to i am spartacus moment. greg: now, he will never know known by any other name than spartacus. he gave himself his own nickname. that really sucks. i feel bad for him. also we talk about this on "the five" yesterday. he's saying i'm taking a risk for something that was approved. >> i said it's like insisting you're going to pay for the bread sticks at olive garden and they say, oh, but they're free! no, i'm going to pay. i'm going to pay. i kind of do imagine it would be fun if trump and cory booker were the candidates in 2020. >> what? greg: it would be amazing. >> spartacus. the nickname. greg: and if vp was pocahontas, spartacus-pocahontas, i was sexist there. >> you really were. greg: we'll end on that note. coming up, i just spit on myself. is trump making people sad, angry or crazy? usa today says all of the above. that's next. oh. hey mom. now that we have your attention... capri sun has four updated drinks. now with only the good stuff. do you know how to use those? nope. get those kids some capri sun! ♪ ♪ they're the moderne stone age family. ♪ ♪ from the town of bedrock. ♪ meet george jetson. ♪ ♪ his boy elroy. with instant acceleration, electric cars are more fun to drive and more affordable than ever. electric cars are here. plug into the present. that's why capital one iss feel the building something completely different. capital one cafés. welcoming places with people here to help you, not sell you. with savings and checking accounts with no fees or minimums. that are easy to open from right here or anywhere in 5 minutes. no smoke. no mirrors. this is banking reimagined. what's in your wallet? >> live from america's news headquarters, i'm jon scott. authorities in the carolinas warning residents to prepare for national potential disaster as category 1 hurricane florence gains strength and surges toward the east coast. the national hurricane center saying there is increasing risk of life threatening hazards from storm surge and heavy rainfall from the carolinas into the mid-atlantic region. forecasters predict florence could strengthen to a dangerous category 4 storm before possible landfall on friday. president trump praising north korea's decision to withhold most advanced missiles from sunday's 70th anniversary military parade. the president thanking leader kim jong-un saying the decision is a big and positive statement, after kim reportedly said he'd like to achieve denuclearization by the end of president trump's first term. i'm jon scott, now back to "the greg gutfeld show." onship in 79 minutes. the 36-year-old williams was . greg: let there be no doubt, trump is flipping people out. usa today, america's hotel room doormat interviewed folks of all political stripes and concluded that, quote, they're finding it hard to escape the daily drama coming out of the white house. those interviewed complained we'd become more tribal, there's no more middle ground and still get no wi-fi in the bathroom. one guy joined twitter after the election to keep up with trump's tweets and now i start up every day in a bad mood. i joined to pay attention now i'm sick of paying attention. are we overdosing on trump? maybe. the next time you feel overwhelmed and tired of winning, watch this and feel better. ♪. greg: can't beat that. you know, kat, you start every day in a bad mood, have you noticed any difference since trump has been elected? >> no! i wake up every day in a bad mood because i'm alone with my thoughts. >> awwww. >> if you are devastated all the time, you should be devastated about hunger or loneliness or death. greg: yes. >> not i kind of don't like the president, seems ridiculous. i know a lot of conservatives did not like president obama, a lot of people really did not like president obama, i did not hear people unable to live their lives because obamaf the president. greg: apparently they never watched fox and friends. [laughter] >> i always watch fox and friends. [ laughter ] >> i crack myself up, tyrus. >> oh, man. hillary is going to be mad at you. greg: i'm going to get an e-mail from someone. it's sunday, they don't e-mail on sundays, unless they are really upset. tyrus -- >> tyrus, trump. >> you are a winner as well. >> yeah, i am a winner. i think i'm a winner, when i wake up, i have a kid going daddy, i want this or somebody saying you should have done that, or i didn't get this, by the time i get to trump, my day is screwed already. [laughter] >> it's a sign of the time we're living in, and the economy, when times are good, have you nothing to do but bitch about your own life. unless you live in the white house and every morning, trump doesn't sleep and he's up at 3:00 a.m. messing around and waking you up. this presidency is not working for me because this [ bleep ] won't go to bed at night. [laughter] >> then you have a reason to be mad at trump. nothing pisses us off more than someone who keeps us up at night. that would cause me to be depressed. i don't live at the white house. i can't get a one-day job at the white house. he doesn't affect me. i got my own problems. i got 99 problems in the morning, trump ain't one. greg: that's a song! [ applause ] >> it is. greg: that is a song. i have a theory, joe, that trump is like a new discovered weather pattern that you know you never had. it's like when you wake up, it's like you usually think about how hot it's going to be, but you also have to check for trump. is there an 80% chance of a cold trump or 20% of a windy trump? it's just another variable that you wake up in the morning and go, how's the trump doing? >> do i need to bring an umbrella? >> i need a trump-barela. >> here's how i start every day, i tell myself imagine if this is really happening, for breakfast, i have a red bull and nyquil and let them duke it out. they are freak out about everything, what you need to remember is people disagree with you who are kind, thoughtful, honest people, and there are people who agree with you who are horrible pieces of garbage. and once you can accept that, you get through life much happier. if you looked at #metoo movement, that was supposed to bring down donald trump. it turned out the lefty-leaning dudes had this stuff in their midst. remember harvey weinstein said i'm going to devote my time to the nra, that's not the right question we're asking. the people can be good people, they might know something you don't, and that will make you a lot happier. [ applause ] >> strong words. why do men with beards always sound so smart? dana, i believe this has to do with all the new media outlets, if trump was the president in '84, '88, you look at him as the president you tune in once a year. >> in the morning, you flip on good morning america like in '84. what was the other one? greg: today show. >> and maybe get the paper and then when you drove to work, turn on the radio for 20 minutes tops. greg: yes. >> then you would work all day. greg: exactly. >> and then when you got home, you might watch a half hour of the new, and you would turn to sports or your sitcoms or your other things that you watch and things like that, and then you go to bed! [laughter]. >> but now, i check in the morning because i want to know if it's polar vortex trump or hurricane trump because that's going to determine my day, but you know what drives a lot of people in my life crazy, i wake up in a good mood every day, and i wake up fast. i don't need caffeine. let's go! 25 stories, and my producer for the daily briefings, probably irritated with me. greg: that irritates me just hearing about it. >> that's why i said it. greg: it's the opposite. >> i would plot your death! [laughter]. >> i would have a bear trap when you happily wake up. are you still happy? still feel good? here's lemon juice, you still want to smile. greg: the point about working all day, we work all day. in front of us is everything we need to monitor twitter and facebook and "tmz" and everything else. when you went to work at the 80s. you were at work. >> i have people saying do you know who the anonymous op-ed writer was? no, i don't, and i don't care. >> i already cleared that up. greg: up next, viking river cruises banned all children which means the baby-sitting business is going to take off bigtime. before i had the shooting, burning, pins and needles of diabetic nerve pain, these feet... ...grew up the youngest of three kids... ...raised a good sport... ...and became a second-generation firefighter. but i couldn't bear my diabetic nerve pain any longer. so i talked to my doctor, and he prescribed lyrica. nerve damage from diabetes cause diabetic nerve pain. lyrica is fda approved to treat this pain from moderate to even severe diabetic nerve pain. lyrica may cause serious allergic reactions, suicidal thoughts or actions. tell your doctor right away if you have these, new or worse depression, unusual changes in mood or behavior, swelling, trouble breathing, rash, hives, blisters, muscle pain with fever, tired feeling, or blurry vision. common side effects: dizziness, sleepiness, weight gain and swelling of hands, legs, and feet. don't drink alcohol while taking lyrica. don't drive or use machinery until you know how lyrica affects you. those who have had a drug or alcohol problem may be more likely to misuse lyrica. now i have less diabetic nerve pain. and i love helping the future generation step into our shoes. ask your doctor about lyrica. >> . greg: look who's not on the cruise. viking, the luxury river cruiseline not the scandinavian pirates who raided most of europe, i often get confused, say it's banning kids from their voyages. and if you bring them with you, viking will throw them overboard -- [laughter]. greg: into a caged pool of ravenous sharks. kind of harsh, but hey. they explain they cater to travelers 50 and older with mature interests like history and art, and while in the past viking has allowed children on board, quote, increasingly our guests have told us how much they appreciate an environment where they can travel without children. translation, kids suck and ruin everything! [laughter]. >> don't applaud, you were once a child. for the viking's perspective, we turn to my friend, thor.. greg: i, for one hope he does not have children. joe, what are your thoughts on this? you don't have kids. >> i i don't. i would like to have kids one day, but just for the one day. [laughter] >> look, keep in mind, there are no children on the original viking ships either. [laughter] >> they failed to make new ones. >> no women, they relaxed that policy. there are places i don't want to go where there are children running around. once i saw it was 50 and older, i'm not 50 yet. i wonder if the ship pulls out. it pulls up in front of a lawn and you yell at young people to get off of it, get off of it. greg: everybody is trying to blame kids for misery. isn't that part of the deal? they are a burden. >> you have to teach them things. i like them around sometime, you have to teach things. i would go on the cruise. i would do this cruise because you get to go to lectures and learn things. greg: of course! there's a library! >> and i want to go on that. greg: yes, of course you do! you just want to go to a library that's in the ocean! [laughter]. >> and learn things. greg: and learn things. you know, you can take a break from learning. just stop learning for a little bit, i guess. tyrus you're the only one here who's reproduced. >> yeah. [laughter] >> i've reproduced well. i'm a good reproducer. [laughter] >> i'm damn good at reproducing. i could reproduce right now. [laughter] >> listen. they'll start a line at the end. greg: stop it! >> you all want to make babies, let's do this. this they will be tall, effective, athletic. good learners. >> good learners? >> for you older ladies, there is still time. that's my fan base. that's my fan base. you can be 60 and carrying this. we'll get you a wheelchair, some vitamins. [laughter] . >> you want to go there? you think i'm free? greg: i was talking about kids, you had kids. >> 1-800-tyrus knock you up. let's do this. [laughter] >> let's do this. greg: good for the editors tonight. all right, tyrus, does it bother you that a cruise line would discriminate against kids? >> no, because i do. [laughter] >> i'll be honest with you, i'll be like go outside, stand in front of me, we have a problem, get away from me. i love my children, but they're a work in progress, so some of their skills aren't that great. honestly, i don't like boats anyways because i don't fit in them. there is no room for me. greg: yeah. >> so i would prefer if they made one just for kids so i could send my kids away on a boat. greg: like a tugboat. >> i don't care what kind of boat. just go! >> kat, i believe all of this is pointless, once robots and a.i. take over, reproduction will be irrelevant? >> really? that's my question. greg: i was trying to find a safe way out. >> don't want to talk about robots. greg: no? okay. >> it's a good thing, more companies should be offering children-free experiences. if i get rich, i want to start my own airline called party bro airlines. greg: really? >> there are no children, and all the drinks have booze in them and there's karaoke and the vaping is not only allowed but encouraged, and all the flight attendants have to wear togas, bed sheet togas. you would fly that sgr. greg: i think i have, actually. >> it was a bad trip, i don't know. >> the children, if they sink, it's just women first, we've got more of a shot. [ laughter ] >> that is a brilliant point! yes! >> and also you and i get choice of booster seats in the dining room. greg: that's true. >> whoa! >> it was going so well. up next, a story that rocks america this week. that's a tease that means don't go to bed. you control your blood sugar. toujeo not only provides stable blood sugar control around the clock, the max solostar holds 900 units of insulin in one pen. this could mean fewer refills of toujeo. all that and a $0 copay! that's something to groove about. ♪ let's groove tonight. ♪ share the spice of life from the makers of lantus®, toujeo® provides blood sugar-lowering activity ♪ baby slice it right. all day, all night, and beyond, proven blood sugar control all day and all night, and significantly lower your a1c. toujeo® is used to control high blood sugar in adults with diabetes. it contains 3 times as much insulin in 1 milliliter as standard insulin. don't use toujeo® to treat diabetic ketoacidosis, during episodes of low blood sugar, or if you're allergic to insulin. get medical help right away if you have a serious allergic reaction such as body rash, or trouble breathing. don't reuse needles, or share insulin pens. the most common side effect is low blood sugar, which can be life-threatening. it may cause shaking, sweating, fast heartbeat, and blurred vision. check your blood sugar levels daily. injection site reactions may occur. don't change your dose of insulin without talking to your doctor. tell your doctor about all your medicines and medical conditions. check insulin label each time you inject. taking tzds with insulins like toujeo® may cause heart failure that can lead to death. find your rhythm and keep on grooving. ♪ let's groove tonight. ♪ to experience toujeo, ask your doctor. . greg: and now, a gutfeld four-minute special investigation. >> a gutfeld four-minute special investigation -- >> why not? she's the biggest offender of grossly dunking a chicken tender. the nation's gag reflexes were tested this week after a woman was caught on camera dipping a chicken tender into cola! then, of course, eating it, and act as fascinating as it is disgusting like when i ate a can of raw creamed corn and chased it with a bottle of mrs. butterworth. and i was sober. the question is, why? why dunk chicken in cola? she claims her father taught her this technique in order to cool off the chicken tender. smart move because the other way doesn't always work. [laughter] >> [ bleep ]. greg: we've all been there, right, dana? >> it's terrible when you burn your tongue. worst. greg: unless you are in to that sort of thing. >> never thought of dunking anything in cola to cool it off. greg: what's gross about it, she has to have two sodas, one for dunking and one for drinking. why? you are going to try the dunking one with the grease in it, that's sick? >> i haven't had a diet coke in a year, i have the shakes about it. i watch her do that and think i'd do that after she dunked it in there. greg: to be fair, you eat like a bird, you like to dig for worms in the soil and feed it to other birds. >> yeah. greg: thank you for laughing at that. >> on the second time. greg: yes, yes, yes. kat, would you try this? do you have weird eating habits, you eat across from me on the hall. >> i like to put mustard on egg sandwiches, i put relish on popcorn and i enjoyed it. the butter and relish complement each other well. this is an abomination and what's even worse you see in the video, she did in front of a child. greg: yes, i know. >> and i thought we were supposed to be protecting our children from seeing disgusting and disturbing things, not doing it right in front of them. that video should be rated r. greg: should be. >> no one should be allowed to watch. i'm a big horror movie fan, and never seen anything that disturbed me quite like that. greg: you know what it is, joe, if you look at it closely, the wrong mix, you need -- that's not a sauce, it's a carbonated soda. >> yeah. you know you're eating chicken tenders wrong when the child is mortified by what you're doing. they exist on chicken tenders. >> she made chicken tenders anti-chicken tenders. >> she admitted she was hung over, i appreciate her honesty. you are trying to get as much salt and sweet and fat into you. greg: you have weird things that end up in the beard? >> if somebody gets up in a restaurant to use the rest room, you have a fair amount of time to eat their food. greg: i thought you were going to say you ate in the bathroom. i had a friend who used to eat corn in the bathroom, i don't know to save time, because he knew it was going to come out anyway. >> oh! >> i don't know why, corn has the path, but it never ceases to go through the toll booth. not like other food. tyrus, save me here. >> you are cool talking about the corn talk. greg: i'm not talking about my corn talk, talking about the royal corn talk. >> the other guy who ate corn, just corn in the bathroom. privy to just that information. i think we're missing the whole point. i don't know if we have time to go back to the video to slow motion the video, it appears to be the double dip. if you look, she took a bite and double dipped. that's more offensive. if it was truly to cool it off. there we go. there's a bite mark on that bad boy. see it? see the bite? look at the kid, she double dipped. a double dip situation. greg: i also don't see two sodas. >> yeah, she was drinking out of that one. >> i think fake news, yo, she's not keeping it real. listen, i like to dip my chicken in coke. greg: how many times have i said that? [laughter] >> we can't get out of it. greg: i was talking more -- like a drug euphemism. >> richard pryor said, he blew up. [laughter] >> it's all good. greg: don't go anywhere, final thoughts next. 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[applause] greg: it's not on the food network. >> no. >> i want to one up tyrus, i've never had a cavity. [applause] >> neither have i. greg: i've had more cavities than i care to remember. >> a major shakeup at cbs, fox news has learned the chief executive is set to step down hours before new bombshell sexual abuse allegations from six women. good evening, i am jon scott. this is the fox report. >> a brian is in re: new york newsroom. what more do we know about the exit? >> sources tell us that charles is out as chairman and ceo of cbs corporation. a press release detailing the