teleprompter. if looking good were an olympic sport she would score a 10. i am here with joanne and working with her waive. if sitting on his couch with the shades down and the lights off were an olympic sport he would score a 10 every time. it is tv's andy levy. if laughter was gold there is a treasure map leading to his mouth. interpret that as you will. the beard scares me. joe ad you vee -- joe devito and he will be performing in can -- in connecticut playing a russian professor. and people around him die from second happened partying. singer-song writer-producer andrew wk. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. if your sense of style was a steak, greg, it would be well done. >> that's the last one. when it is getting that bad, it is time to retire. we are taking that out of your hands, tom. he pushed the scam p -- scamp from a ramp. a father was ejected from a skate park after he kicked his 6-year-old son down a halfpipe. roll tape, tape rollers. >> there is one right here. >> put it all over my mouth and i drank the rest of it. >> that went rather quickly. let's watch it again in slow motion and grasp the nature of the heinous, heinous act. >> slow motion makes it more painful. the dad, marcus crossland, how appropriate, crossland was apparently frustrated for his kid to drop in on big brown, the halfpipe and also my birthmark. the boy was not injured. when con -- confronted he responded, quote, because he needs to learn. who said education is boring? authorities are investigating possible charges. if only we had an animal re-enactment of this incident. >> perfect aim. >> in this case though the turtle did die. i will go out on a limb, joe, and say that maybe i am against what the dad did. but are we over protective as a a society? >> it is a horrible video, but if you show it backwards it looks like an awesome skate trick. >> i was expecting it to be like a wacky -- and it is kind of -- the dad is really not trying to teach him anything. he is just sick of his kid being up there. it is not like a dad cheering too loud at a little league game or teach him a lesson. i remember when the folks used to throw you in the water to teach you to use the toaster, but it is not the same thing. you can see the anger just in that little push. i hope the dad gets uh lat of -- a lot of flack. >> it is like throwing your child in the pool when there is no water in the pool. andrew, say you are on stage and your dad shows up to heckle you because he wants you to get used to heckling and to respond to the harsh reality of live performances. so he says awful things to you. how is that different than this? >> that is not different than any show i have played or just day-to-day life when i am interacting with him. text messages, e-mails, phone calls, what i thought was strange seeing the clip again is the way the father turps -- turns his back even before the kid hit which i thought was strapping. especially if this dad is a skateboarder who could drop in, he must know that is potentially very dangerous and could have killed his son. the fact that he turned away and not even made sure he landed without injury -- and he is saying owe! ow! >> the slow motion thing is every bit as painful. we don't know the whole story here, andy, do we? >> no, we don't. >> and it could be the child was attacking him. we don't know. >> absolutely. >> birds push their young out of the nest, and we don't call children services on them. >> we don't because they are birds. this could have been taken completely out of context. for all we know, maybe the video actually was the -- the real video was him going up and this is being played backwards so it looks bad. before i watched this video i thought maybe this is telling a kid to hold on to his bicycle when he takes the training wheels off and then you let go. no. this is straight up awful. the dad said he did it it because the kid needs to learn? needs to learn what? somebody he is supposed to trust would do something leak that? >> that's a good lesson. >> learn to trust no one. >> don't trust your dad. >> especially if he is a skateboarder. >> it would be like being in a beauty pageant and your parents coming and heckling you. i thought it might work again. you don't like children, but even this must seem rough. >> this kid will have major trust issues for the rest of his life. but he was wearing padding. he was wearing a helmet. i see this more as the dad dropping the mic. i did a good job. i know my kid is resilient. you walk away. you drop the mic and you leave. >> the mic was the kid. >> but she is right. that's what he did. he knew the kid was okay, helmet, pads. my work is done here. i produced you. and then send him down. was the kid's name mike? that would have been interesting. this is another sign of extreme parenting. >> extreme sports has taken over. >> you know it was extreme because the people doing the video, they were chatting and then silence. if skateboarders are nervous -- >> what made them start videoing? that's what i wonder. >> this little kid is about to go down this giant ramp. >> they videotape everything. >> the whole thing was a set up. >> it was a stunt. >> tomorrow we will be having the parent on the show to discuss this. >> will we? >> no. frankly he is probably very boring. should he not pay because his hair is gray? sexy billionaire racist donald sterling won't be attending his team's home playoff game on tuesday or perhaps any game ever again. probably because of this. >> i wasn't raised the way you were raised. >> then don't come to my games. don't bring black people and don't come. >> do you know that you have a whole team that is black that plays for you? >> do i know? i support them and give them food and clothes and cars and houses. who g ifs it to -- who gives it to them? does someone else give it to them? who makes the game? do i make the game or do they make the game? is there 30 owners that train in the league? >> i am not bringing black people to the stadium. >> is it easy to say that? >> it isto say that. >> for you to say that. >> i won't say that to anyone. i would never ask anyone to bring somebody based on race or color. >> there is no racism here. if you don't ant to be walking into a basketball game with a certain person, is that racism? >> these are questions that need to be raised. is the nba owner uncouth because he is long in the tooth? they say they come from a different generation and growing up among attitudes common beyond notice in their day, but would shock many today. meanwhile, the woman who made the recording claims she was never his girlfriend and she worked for him for four years as an archivist. finally sponsors abandoned him and called for his head. oddly enough some celebrities are standing up for sterling. >> he is still looked at as a hero and somebody you can aspire to. >> he is a nice, funny person. >> he is amazing. >> every word was beautiful. >> it is incredible. >> it is easy to put words to it. it is phenomenal. >> he is sweet and funny. >> i happen to really like it. it has been good for the summer. >> i am happy for him. i hope he does more, more, more. >> i can't believe it. how dare they? what is going on with the celebrity lifestyle that makes these celebrities condone such evil, evil racism. >> i can't believe we are going to jail. >> that was pure parody. andrew, what will happen to sterling? what should the nba do you think? >> i talked to old people before. including people on this show. even older people. some of them behave in a similar manner and said off color comments. it seemed it wasn't coming from a bad place. it is just what they thought of the world. they also think at times the world was flat, and do you forgive them for being wrong in the situations? i also met old people who didn't think that way. i think the guy is a clown. i am not offended by him because i don't respect anything he said or anything he ever could say. i just think you let him make a fool of himself. he will take himself down. >> that's basically what president obama said. he said his offensiveness speaks volumes. i believe you don't even have to be outraged. you laugh at it. joe, i don't know. this product of being old thing that is almost a bigoted stair row type of -- stereo type of its own. that would put him in the 40s in the 1960s. he is not that old. >> it is not like he is 100 years old. >> now are you going after 100-year-olds. >> first it was a bad move on his part to hire somebody to archive his racist remarks. that has to come back to haunt you. he is clearly an idiot. it is a painful listen too. she is clearly setting him up for something. >> leading him on. >> i think when he is asking are there other onuss to this? are there other people doing this? where am i? his history is more racist than what you are hearing in those remarks. you do have to cut some older people some slack. not him. i remember my grandfather used to refer to black people as colored. when he was -- >> that was the nice way jie. that was the nicest thing to say it was respectful. i can understand how an older person in another situation may get confused because what is considered offensive now wasn't 40 something years ago. that doesn't apply to this guy. he is out of his mind. >> how is your uncle michael richards by the way? you dated sterling briefly. what do you make of this? >> he says a lot of things he shouldn't say. apparently though this started because his girlfriend or air could i -- archivist had pictures on social media with black celebrities or i don't know if she was fooling around with them as well, but really his saying this comes from jealousy and stupidity. he is biting hand that feeds him. like she said, the team is doing great for the first time in a longtime. i only found out from research because i don't watch sports, but really, why would you then -- are you driving yourself into the ground? >> however, he didn't know he was being taped. >> that's true. old people with technology, they don't know. >> he didn't know it was on. she had the tape recorder on in front of him. he said what does this red light mean? she said it means you said something smart. i am archiving. >> we don't know if he didn't know it was being taped. >> could have been archiving. andy you have been vocal in defends sterling. you called him a hero. >> i d here is why, greg -- no, i'm kidding. i am not buying the age thing. it works for say colored or even bundy saying negro. saying negro was not the problem, but he said blacks were better off as slaves. the problem here with sterling is him saying i don't want you bringing black people to the game among other things. age doesn't excuse that. you can't get off on age here. i have an idea for a fan protest. all of the clippers' white ticket holders should give their tickets on tuesday to black people so the entire crowd is black. that's the biggest slap in the face to him you could possibly have. >> i am also -- >> by having black people there -- >> he clearly doesn't want black people there. i am hoping the owners of the islanders and necks and mets can say -- knicks and nets can say similar things so we can get rid of them. >> here is my conspiracy theory of the day. the whole thing is a set up and she is working with "magic" johnson. >> oh to get the team. >> she posted a picture and everything goes off and "magic" johnson goes off on him. and then on monday magic said i will own a team if the nba wants me too. well played magic. >> well played andy. >> working his magic. if you disappear tomorrow i will know why. >> because are you working for the clippers. >> could we also point out this guy may have been medicated? >> sounds like it to me. >> have i never seen a -- i have never seen a medication where the side effect turns you into a racist. >> until now. >> there was great video of her wearing a face shield. do we have that? can we play that a? >> >> is that where her nose used to be. >> she was trying to avoid the media. >> very "star wars." >> that is a lazy way of covering yourself. >> it is like a mirror. >> that is a fantastic idea. >> you can flip it over like the dog cone. >> i think this is one of those great stories that a will provide our show with three a-topics up until about thursday. and then we will get a new racist next week. the racists ramp up over time. what you need now is to find somebody really crazy to beat this one. i don't know who will do it. >> could be joanne. >> i think you can do it. i have had enough of the conversation. we have learned nothing. coming up a story so intriguing i guarantee your time will not be wasted. what would you wear to your funeral? i don't think about such things as i will never, ever die. >> are presidential selfies just for the wealthy? he can't get enough of himself. president barak hussein obama is back to his selfie centered ways along the prime minister -- i call him vic on the golf course. this is days after the president denied a 13-year-old girl on a military base in south korea. what kind of man would do that? president obama apparently told the teen that if he took a selfie with her he would have to do it with everyone. unlike obamacare one size fits all. if are you a rich baseball player you can take a picture, but if are you a commoner you should take a a hike. in news closer to home -- >> go in the house. >> not going to work. >> oh! >> that's why they never got very far on the evolutionary chain. idiots. they don't understand anything. yet we take care of them. that's why we should domesticate foxes. screw the dogs. not literally. it is against the law, no dog screwing. unless the dog is okay with it. you look like you have a dog on your face. would you have taken a picture with a girl or is that not a fair question. very rarely are you in any pictures. >> i am never answering question that has you taking a picture with a girl. i will just show how serious he is taking a selfie. you would expect a teenage girl to do that, but not the leader of the free world. it is not like they are like, can you sit with my friend and i for a few weeks. he sets up his equipment and be serious. they both had huge -- >> that's the problem with selfies. it is so close to your face and your face is so -- >> you have giant teeth. it makes everybody look like a more ron -- moron. is there anything more self-indulgent than a selfie? >> i appreciate his efforts to engage in day-to-day current trendy culture that makes him more relatable, but forced. if i take one with you, i will take one with everybody. >> people ask me to take photos. >> it is like jack nicholson. just because you sleep with one groupie doesn't mean you can sleep with them all. >> not eastbound wants a photo with owe -- not everybody wants a photo with obama. >> it is one girl with a sign. it is not like they all had signs. >> and it say may i take a selfie with you? correct grammar and everything. >> that poor girl, i think we will have her on the show. >> she could be boring. >> maybe we will have somebody play her. joe app, -- joanne, you refused to take pictures with a six. >> they can't be taller than six feet. their arms aren't long enough. i don't think obama is taking selfies. he looks the same in every photo. i think it is photoshop. i think these leaders around the world want in on the obama action and they are pasting them in there. >> that's a good point. >> they think it will help them. >> it could be a secret download only for government apps. it could lead to a selfie. >> you just invented something. >> silicon valley, here i come. >> have you seen that show? >> i have. it is fantastic. >> all i did was pose for pictures. that's all he did. he wouldn't have time to destroy america. >> he will find the time, greg. first, can we put the picture of the girl's sign back up? you can't read. it says, may a have a selfie? you don't deserve a picture with the president. >> maybe she has a speech problem. >> you spend more time proof reading and maybe the president will take a picture with you. >> maybe a is short for her name. >> maybe she was giving him other options like b. >> she ran out of letters. >> i don't know. i am disgusted and it is time to move on. coming up, the c block. tonight's c block is sponsored by pencils. writing utensils you can erase. thank you, pencils. >> thank you, imreg. i -- thank you, greg. >> you are polite and sharp. what happens when a teacher gives a student a lap dance? what do you think happens? you were a teen once. that's why i wore two pairs of underpants. >> that stuff in there. welcome back. she turned her funeral into a a fun-ural. she had a cocktail party at her own wake. instead of lying in a coffin, after she passed away at 83 she requested her body be propped up in a chair and dressed as if she was attending one of the many parties she was known for. more than a thousand people paid their respects. she was clad in a feather boa and a champagne glass in one hand a and a cigarette in the other. sounds like sunday morning. her daughter said it is a nice way to say the party is over. andrew, as somebody who parties in life you love this. she partied in her own death. >> i do hope this was her idea and not her friends or family. although even that -- you know, in new orleans especially there is a tradition for celebrating in the face of what might be a sad or traj a jibing -- tragic moment. celebrate the person and the life they lead. this is still intense. if i was to show up there maybe not prepared for this, it is confrontational. it is a confrontational funeral. i appreciate the party. anytime you can turn anything into a party, even a show like this, it is a big achievement. >> it seems narrow minded you prefer every corpse to be in an open-faced coffin. how would you like your funeral dye ram ma? i emphasize die. >> we have multiples spread all over the room. you would have to tell which is a dead corpse and me and which was someone posing. >> that would be neat. >> just wax figures of you and one is actually you. >> this is a wax figure right now. it is very advanced cenematronics. >> is this creepy? >> i think it is creepy. i don't know if i could do this. i am a registered organ donor. if they didn't harvest my organs i would love to be dressed lie lucille ball and my feet stomping some grapes so it shows my active lifestyle and my rushness. my lushness. >> organ doning -- they could stuff you. unless you are giving the eyes. >> put shades on. >> get a face visor from the crazy lady. joe a trend that might catch on? and would you keep the beard? >> i don't know if i would keep the beard. the weird thing about me is you could do it in a shoe box. what i notice is she has something, a tag on her. >> toward the collar? >> yeah. it says "bitch" and was that her request or was it a friend of hers saying what are you going to do about this now? getting the last word. >> i can't see it, but that would be mean for that nice old lady. >> the only way i would do something like that a is if i can have it set up with a spring ago tau valeted thing -- spring activated thing. >> it frightened me. i am not kidding. if you saw this beard up close it is frightening. >> there are things in there. it is not -- it is oils. it is bigger than your entire face. that's where they filmed "game of thrones." i assume you want to be portrayed exactly as you lived. except no one would be at your funeral. >> i wouldn't be there. i would be on my couch. >> you will be the guy bree -- preceded the smell is coming from here. >> i don't think so. i just want to be on my couch. >> this is new orleans. one of my favorite musicians showed up saying yeah, you are right, mickey. >> i think it is beautiful. if i was going to in my diarama just helping kids, me helping kids. you have to kill them too. they would be alive, drugged, but alive. but i would be helping them. >> i hope if that button was there, i hope that wasn't a friend doing it as a prank. new orleans has a lot of vodoo. you don't mess with the dead. >> terrible. how did something so wholesome go so badly? a texas middle school teacher is was arrested forgiving a student a lap dance for his birthday in front of herren class. >> that's the subject of tonight's -- >> "red eye" debate 2014 live from the" red eye" debate center. i know i have new debate signs, but i can't find them. wife cleaned the office. well -- welcome to the "red eye" debate center and i am the host of the" red eye" debate. refrain from tossing under garments. i love to eat frillly under things. felicia smith, seen here, attractive, joanne, allegedly rubbed her hands all over the boy's body and dropped to her niece and put her head between the student's legs. and he apparently slapped her butt a few times. she ended the nor-minute thing thing -- four-minute thing saying i love you baby, happy birthday. students convinced her to do it as a joke. she didn't take a lot of convincing. what if it was in reverse? what if it was a male teacher and 15-year-old girl. we would be grossed out. for some reason we find it funny? >> this is not funny. this is a flash back. i attended a school and i won't which name in michigan where a janitor that worked there was an erotic dancer. in the lunchroom once a year he would get up on the table and do a strip show into a thong. the fact that i can remember that now is intense. >> how old were you? >> i was between the age of say 13 and 4. it was traumatic and upsetting. as much as it may by fun -- some of the teachers were happy and some of the students were imagine -- mad about this. but there is a lot to take in in a classroom setting. >> i think i stumbled on to a horrible memory. >> just let me go through this. >> joe there is a 15-year-old boy i believe still in middle school. that's unusual. >> he looks like he knows how to take a lap dance. >> when i hear of teacher doing inappropriate thing i say is she attractive? she is not a weekend lap dance, but she is a tuesday lunch shift. >> i agree with you. >> she said the students convinced her. who is this persuasive class? we used to lobby oh the teacher let us out five minutes early. nobody was stuffing dollar bills into mrs. thompson's bra swreer. >> that's the difference between modern age and when you were a child. they convince their teachers to strip and we were afraid of the bomb. that was a nickname of a young man who would show up and strip. andy, this is unacceptable. >> the point of being a teacher teacher -- kids aren't supposed to convince you of anything. you are supposed to be teaching them. have you read the affidavit for this? >> i don't read. >> i will read one sentence. she sat down with her lap and buttocks on his penis causing him to have an erected penis. there is no justifiable way for this to have happened. i don't understand how you start this off by saying we would think this is a creepy. this is creepy. >> a guy teacher wouldn't do it. men while secrets while women like attention. >> i don't want to muddy the waters, but the name of the class was how to strip for your man. we may look at teacher of the year. >> it is a very complex story. >> we had to talk to our producers because they never send out the full story. >> well i think we learned a lot about striping in classrooms and that is not to do it. it is wrong whether you are a teacher or student or both, right? >> or janitor. >> poor guy. maybe that caused you to be an entertainer. >> it was inspiring in a reverse psychological way. >> to this day you haven't been able to clean your clothes. >> the smell of pine sol. >> he is the anti-mr. king. >> he had long, flowing brown hair. >> is that weird? >> and he liked to party. >> i think we had a real breakthrough. >> we are taking a break. we have more delightful stories. order it at amazon. look at this. there they r. the "red eye" models, nora and joanne modeling my face on their back. she threw a block because of the guac. not sure what that means. the greek organizations have canceled a fund razer because a student complained of the use of the mexican theme they scraped their annual fiesta after daniella hernandez, first generation woman of color wrote an e-mail calling it problematic. the party was to feature virgin dabbing res and -- dacuari's and would have raised money for cardiac care. after they had cultural appropriation it was nixed. the possibility of offending even one member of the community was not worth the potential benefits of having the fundraiser. >> this is where i throw up. rather than watch that look at this. >> that is why they make the magnet. >> mr. gear. >> what is he saying? >> nobody said anything about richard gear. just move on. >> why do we have to go back to that? no money will be raised for cardiac care. one person got angry. that's great. >> as a person of facial hairiness, i am tired of the suppression of people. there are various problematic structures. anytime someone says as a, you know, a real doo swri e of an -- doozie of an opinion is coming up. nobody cares >> i am stealing that. i am stealing that tomorrow for my phrase. >> i don't think she even -- it was to raise money for cardiac patients. usually when attorneys are there you think sin co day mayo and they are doing a mustache, sombrero thing and maybe she that honor nude oil wrestling. >> says san choe. you are the king of parties. >> any word meaning partying in any language is holy. it is a fantastic work. >> it is a great car. she could have used more partying. she could have broken out of her shell. i don't blame her because of one person's complaint. you know that is a lot of the problem there. how many other foreign words -- i was thinking resume. was it at the job history outline? these are words that entered into our common share language. it should be fair game. >> you can't wear pajamas because that is an indian word. pajamas is indian. >> who wears pajamas? >> pajamas are coming back. >> joanne, what is happening to free speech? >> i don't know. i am upset with greek lifelike you were saying. by responding the way he did, you could have had the party, but don't call it a fiesta then. i eat frozen ones all the time. it is the response to her. now every other student is going to see opportunities. it is to go after the things they think is right. and i'm sorry she has no friends now. i said do you feel better? do you? smack her. >> you know what is sad is dartmouth was a school that was the inspiration for "animal house." >> i believe so. can we still say tostido's? it is pathetic. >> if you don't want to go to a party don't go and throw your own party. >> exactly. >> as a blank, blank, blank, throw your own party. defend your own hero. >> i think she is brave. i am not going to defend her. her complaint is cindo de mayo-themed parties are not it. when they had them in the past they did not let anybody dress up. you it is because of a pun. she is complaining about the pun. the fundraiser was canceled and i oppose pun control. >> i am not going to live in a place where there are pun-free zones. the bad guys will still make puns. >> they will have to pry the pun out of your cold, dead mouth. we have gone to the far ends of humor and now we are trying to return back to earth. do you have a comment on the show? do you have a video of your animal doing something interesting? click on submit a video and we may use it. coming up, a creepy anniversary gift. it is creepy. >> coming up tomorrow on the next "red eye." and a a first time guest. >> e block. last story. that's the last story. >> a chinese man thought photoshoping himself into his girlfriend's childhood photos was a perfect anniversary gift makes us wonder. >> is this creepy? >> story of my life. juan if that a is his real name found photos of his girlfriend and inserted himself in them. he is on the right. i guess it is delightful. this is weird. his girlfriend is an adult like he is now. he made these pictures to celebrate his anniversary. i want to see my love letter. without a time machine all i can do is come to my dream to meet you. is this just so romantic that it makes you want to vomit or call an authority? >> he has been dabbling in some sort of psychic time travel. all i can think of is forest gump. and back to the future. that was how they told whether they were affecting the pass or not. this is a form of affecting history. i am just not sure if it is really -- i mean he is traumatizing a former -- a child version of his girlfriend by basically abusing her in the photo. >> it doesn't take a lot to get creeped out. >> i am the banner for creep. chinese women are finding this romantic. >> ain't no way that's his girlfriend. i i will go on the record with that. >> we don't know that. >> it would be cute if he photoshoped in a child version of himself. >> i mean, why not keep going all the way back like a picture of her mom with the ultrasound? or a picture of her dad buying condoms and he is poking holes in them. it is not -- like that right there, that's not a right image no matter what is happening. it is a grown man -- what is the picture like? here, help yourself to candy. >> they are well done. they are well photoshoped. >> they did an excellent job. >> joanne, say a boyfriend did this to your pictures. what would you do? >> i would run and tell them to run as well. >> this was a fourth year anniversary. what did you do years one through three. that is what makes me nervous. this is creepy. it would have been cute if he was a kid. the cars with the babies are kissing and it would have been nice. that's all you needed to do. >> is that anne g -- gettis. >> well, it wouldn't be funny if it is five babies as tomatoes and then a grown man. >> i am less worried in years one through three. >> if he makes it. if it were up to him that wouldn't be the case. that could be his way of saying. do you remember the episode of "the office" when he put himself in the pictures? >> it is the original british office. >> that's the end of the show. when is your gig? you don't remember, do you? >> i think it is friday in connecticut. >> friday in connecticut? go to joe devito.com. >> just show up a day early. so that was our first task, was getting him to wellness. without angie's list, i don't know if we could have found all the services we needed for our riley. from contractors and doctors to dog sitters and landscapers, you can find it all on angie's list. we found riley at the shelter, and found everything he needed at angie's list. join today at angieslist.com