0 record" each night. that way you never miss it. see you tomorrow night. go to greta wire.com to eltell us what you thought about tonight's show. that's it from washington. alberto. welcome to "red eye." tonight. >> have these chefs come up with a cheese burger that can help you lose weight? we will show you the incredible science behind this hot new dieting trend. and how long did the president and his vp waste on a recent trip to bed, bath and beyond? >> we spent close to an hour in there looking at everything there was to see. >> and finally, the tragic tale of a dog who won't stop popping balloons. helping your canines with this horrible disease. none of these stories on "red eye" tonight. >> beautiful. and now, let's welcome our guest. she is so hot that smoky the bear keeps trying to put her out. it is miss new york, usa and he is just waiting to die. tv's andy levy. i think he is almost there. and from the daily caller, senior editor jaime weinstein. come on, call yourself james. and story teller tom shillue. his latest comedy album is called "don't force it." i have six copies and i sleep under them in the park. look at that. >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. hey, greg, i like the way you comb your hair. i like your stylish clothes you wear. >> at this point you are mailing it in disembodied voice. >> his interpretation was a fabrication. the sign language guy for the memorial at nelson mandela was a complete fraud. the unidentified man sat beside noted speakers and made hand movements that had absolutely no meaning. i love this person. prompting anger among deaf people. let's pause and take a look at his work. >> in which they have been hahn hahn -- honoring and remembering the memory of nelson mandela since he passed away. we applaud you and thank you for that. >> they are the same hand movements apparently. said the head of the british deaf association, quote, the gentleman, being polite, is a fake and he has no real clue about sign lange wig dash and has obviously upset the deaf community. the south african government says they are looking into the matter. which means get lost. it is not our fault. in russia -- >> a guy fell out of that. he is doing fine. in russia he is dead, but he is doing fine. tom, this is an amazing story to me. it could be the story of the year. >> it is a heartwarming story. >> why is it a heartwarming story? >> i don't think this guy meant anything wrong. i think he is a fine guy. they asked him to get up on the stage. ii don't even think he knows what sign language is or it is a language or there are deaf people in the world. he has seen a lot of speeches and there is always somebody next to the guy going like this. so they are like stand next to him and he said okay and just did all of those things he saw being done. >> or somebody canceled. this is my theory, somebody canceled at the last minute and he was a friend of a friend and they said can you do this? >> and they have to have somebody on there. that's ridiculous. i play a lot of colleges and they always have somebody doing this. it is terrible and a lot of visual clutter. it is a language. i actually think it is a good language. it has its place, but it does president need to be there all -- doesn't need to be there every time at every speech. we don't have a interpreter for the blind at the ballet. she is on her tows. she is go -- toes, she is going higher. we don't have that. >> is there a sign for digging a hole like you just did? >> it is cool you think you should decide when deaf people should hear speeches. >> andy, you make my point perfect. my analogy for the ballet is apt. we don't have somebody yelling at the ballet. he is throwing her in the air now. >> but it is different. >> andy would say, that is wrong. you want to deprive the blind people from hearing what the man with the six legs is doing it. >> i don't know if they have it at the ballet, but they have earphones people can wear. >> it is a play by play. >> well then deaf people should get a little screen. >> they have closed captioning. >> you know what would be i mean, how fitting is that? >> andy, are you going to get some mail tonight. >> that is horrible, greg. that is horrible. >> all right, here is my theory before we move on. i call it the gluten free theory. it is idiotic, but bear with me. say you are going to a country like south africa or say you are going to mexico or wherever. you sit down in a restaurant and your wife says does this have gluten in it because i am allergic to gluten and the waiter is like [bleep]. he talks to the chef and the chef is like this is like the third american that has said they have a gluten allergy. just tell them that we are gluten free. that's what happened here. it was like, they forgot to get a sign language interpreter and they said just get one. no one will notice. they just lied. >> let me tell you why this may be the first time in the history of the show your ♪ long live the oregon way >> i am the closed caption guy and i hate that broad. that is sexist. i don't know about you, but that is pretty sexist. joanne, that is like they should have given a million bucks to 300 people. >> i would gladly taken that money. i could have paid a lot of hospital bills for my friends, for drug addicts, whatever. >> i like the way you think. which is very little. >> my biggest issue is long -- oregon and long, isn't it supposed to rhyme? >> yeah. i think you found the most important element of the story. >> that's the only worth while thing to say. >> i am the closed caption guy and i am thinking about calling up that girl on "red eye." is that against company policy >> exactly. >> now i am fennelly insured. i was president insurance -- i wasn't insured until i was 35. >> you are supposed to have cheap premiums and don't care. >> they thought young people would run out and buy this is ridiculous. it shows you how little respect they have for young people. we would put on these stupid commercials and they will run out and buy something. >> they think they are stupid, jaime. i will ask you the question i asked tom because i thought i was asking you. i dropped my pen and it confuses me. this is like an achievement. it really is. the amount of money spent on so little, it is like almost -- this is like the pyramids for big government. >> it is amazing. the website doesn't actually work which is why they have such low enrollment. they can use a paper application to get enrolled. i have a theory for this as well. >> does it involve gluten? >> no but it involves our sign language friend. clearly he has been put in this role to design the websites which is why we have seen them in disasterous shape. what is interesting is this also explodes another one of the president's arguments that even though the federal exchange website is working not as well, the state exchanges are working fantastic. we can see in oregon that's not exactly right either. >> andy, is the problem, and i think you are going to agree with me, is that they are not spending enough? >> absolutely, greg. let me explain to you how the world works using a thing i like to call math. if spending $300 million leads to 44 people signing up and oregon's population is 3.9 million, all you have to do to get everyone to sign up is spend $26.6 trillion. this is scientific logic, greg, something son serve tiffs should look into if they want to join the reality-based community that is comprised of intellectuals like myself. >> all we really need to do is print more money. >> if you need to, fine. but just spend what you got. spending $26 trillion, a small price to pay for free health care. >> that's true. that's true. joanne, you were nodding along. were you being polite? >> i was trying to do the math in my head. >> i did it like six times. >> when i don't know the answer i just nod. >> that's great. you are really good at nodding. tom? >> you have to spend more for the first 44 and that's where you have to put the up front money. after that you can taper off. >> that's what they will tell you, tom, but they don't tell you. they get out back end. >> i think it is quality and not quantity. they only have 44, but they are the right 44. they are the best 44. those are the ones you want. >> you need the connectors. people who have a lot of friends on social media. maybe they signed up some people with a lot of twitter followers. >> that may be right. i don't know. i lost interest. but at least i am being honest. closed caption guy, hey. it has got to be a commercial. if i am the closed caption guy you know what that means. off comes the pants, happening out. looking at porn. >> is obama the 44th president? >> yes. >> and 44 people have signed up? >> oh wow. >> what is going on here? >> you have cracked the case, columbo. >> closed caption guy, help me. you are my only hope. >> i called you jewlumbo. that's a jewish columbo. maybe the closed caption guy will say it. finally somebody is speaking my language. the panel will exchanging secret santa gifts. i got joanne my toe nail clippings. it is what you wanted is time the pope of the year or is year the time of the pope or is the pope the year of the time? oh forget it. stupid mess.