the old record was 11 and that was set by grover cleaveland. you have to remember that the hookers were smaller and they wore hoop skirts. that's a record to be broken. should felons who want to be chicks and then commit a felony and end up in prison get assistance to remove their packages and go to a gal's prison and avoid unwanted sexual advances from dudes in the dude prison? and how tough is it for hot women to be gainfully employed? we will go undercover to expose the difficulties hot women face every day in the job coach. and by going undercover i mean reading copies off the woo you are and chatting about it. andy is back tomorrow, and we will all be anxious to hear if the ointment is clearing up his rash. >> me too, my friend. we all share the same restrooms. >> and we all share the same point meant. -- ointment. >> see you in about 19 to 24 minutes. >> i'm watching. >> have some sanka. >> speaking of which. let's welcome our guests. >> she is cuter than a kitten sandwich. i am here with brooke goldstein, founder of the children rights institute and the director of the law fare project. she is so hot that old people fly to her in the summertime. and he is manly yes, sir than a bus rodeo of clowns wearing paper underwear. it is terry saffor. and bacteria has built up a resistance to him. it is bill shultz. and he is loved and loathed and admired and revialed. enough about corbin better. his latest book came out and it is called the "rye -- righteous indig -- indig nation" and wake up there. and he is in a financial picket -- pickle because he is not worth 5* nickel. >> i would like to file a grievance at 20 minutes past, brooke goldstein came in and said happy 4-20 and pulled out a bag of odd looking tauacco and proceeded to smoke my art section. fi on her. >> finally a use for your art section. >> how dare you, sir? i withdraw my fi to brooke and put it squarely into your puckered face. >> thank you. >> you are welcome. >> all right. >> all right indeed. >> yes. >> okay. >> okay. >> let's go on. >> let's not go on. >> shut up. >> you shut up. the loon from "plough platoon" has under to a new tune. and barack is nothing but a croc. and charlie sheen can add birther to a long list of things he is. the "major league 2" actor said his brain on obama confessing in a performance that he is unconvinced of the president's citizenship. after discussing recent polls that had the train wreck beating of obama, sheen asked the crowd, is that the craziest f-ing idea already. i was born here, how about that? and nothing photo shopped about my birth certificate. he does raise good points. not really. instead he made his dumb fs feel dumber until theyy jack could you lated prematurely into the street desperately that could tickle their gene pool. if only they discovered the hottest show in dc. >> that could be the greatest piece of tape i have seen in my life. and we will be seeing more of that. brooke, in the green room we were talking about sheen's story and you said finally someone is speaking my thoughts. >> oh greg. he is just lending credibility to the movement i belong to. but let's examine this for a second. there is a birth certificate. and even if you think it was forged, there is an announcement in the newspaper. this must have been a 47-year-old conspiracy where they took this infant child and they bred him to be our next president. >> basically you agree with me. that's exactly how it happened. andrew, welcome to the program. always good to see you. isn't this the next success of our decline that we have sheen on one hand 1k3* birther as another. it is like reece's peanut butter cup. >> nobody would talk about the birther situation, and now everybody is talking about it and i have no idea why that is happening. >> that's true. >> now everyone wants in on the action. it is like the new route to fame and celebrity. >> and i was there first. >> i want to own it. >> this charlie sheen guy with the swearing he will lose his status as a rol in the nam.. but the saw law hes -- the salahi's were at his show, and he has legit myselfed the movement. donald trump got smoked for it, but now that charlie sheen's on it, let's talk about this. >> we are let leting it marinate over us. >> i want the guy from dead or alive to talk about it. >> pete burns? why do i know that name? he dresses the other way. charlie sheen, seems like every week he is trying to find something new to say. it is like he is a kid in the kitchen banging pots, but instead of pots it is hookers. >> when you start doing blow at 13, as everyone knows, you are stunted emotional. -- emotionally. that's why he referred to dc as awesomeville. he said a few juvenile qaddafi jokes. i will say that i have seen charlie sheen's birth certificate. it says charlie sheen. every fan of film knows his name is charlie es staw varies. he is a secret mexican and he is taking the hooker is we don't want to have sex with. that is a "red eye" exclusive. >> quite the investigative reporting. >> sheen said he would legalize pot and put it in vending machines? how many times have you heard that who want then graish yate the people under the age of 30. >> that's the same platform as obama. he wants to legalize pot and create more jobs in america. sounds like the same thing. he really is the saddest man in the world. and do we know why he is an hour late for his performance? the court was taking custody away from him. >> that's the mood you are in when you are getting your children taken away. >> no, it is a good point. you could really see the sadness in the devil horns when he made his girlfriends make out with each other. >> the devil horns were "i miss my two qidz cts -- my two kids." >> and then, oops, i forgot i had three. >> do you know how much money the wife is saving on depositions? the lawyer is like, no. no depositions. >> you have to really evaluate your life if you lose custody again to a crack head. that's exactly what happened. she just scored some crack. >> who could they give the kids to that would be better? >> me. i got three daughters and i could own a couple more. they get bored locked up in the house. >> they are stump lig on weird objects. >> from charlie sheen to removing one's thing. a trans sexual prisoner is asking the district court of appeals to require the state to pay for his sex change operation so he could transfer to an all girl hell. the 42-year-old convicted killer serving a life sentence is going by lira lisa stevens, and also my alias who citing physical abuse. >> he is cute. he gets $1,000 hour money therapy mandated by the state. should they rule in california's phaser, thisy would have to pay $50,000 to every inmate who wants the same thing. when told of the lawsuit, quote, i made plans to get the surgery before i committed the crime. for the state to do that stuff, god love you. but he disagrees and a prison is not required by law to give a prisoner medical care and is as good as what he would see for a fluent person. you know what unconfuses me? this. >> i would love to have been the stylist on that shoot. should the dog be on a stack of hay? >> what part of a dog with milk holsters are you not getting, sir? >> you are an amateur. >> i know, i haven't mastered the art of combining the animals into a feeding frenzy video. brooke, as a human rights attorney, which you say you are, does a convicted murderer have a right to a sex change at our expense? >> i don't think so. i think this is way out of line. only california. what will everyone else think of this if this lawsuit goes through. i don't know what to say. it is ridiculous. >> is this the policiful ka calf needs right now. >> can you do me a favor? >> tell me more about what happens in the prison. you have no idea. i have never. >> i think you killed our mic. >> i never felt more excitement. >> i think his book tour must be going well. >> if he does it after midnight it multiplies. i didn't even know i had a fetish. that story does it for me. i freaked out. >> i like the lengths you went to to express yourself. >> that was serious commitment. >> notice he didn't go for the green tea. should the law require a person getting medical care? >> in the military if i wanted a sex change i would want it now. what if i did? >> you want to feel sorry initially until i read the wrap sheet of these chicks. they are all in for capital murder and armed robbery. is this what we would have lost if we had a government shut down averted. imagine the government shut down and we couldn't give them sex changes? >> it would have been america's unhappiness. you must support the prisoner. >> i think it is bril lent. -- bril yept. i am a straping heterosexual man. can't emphasize that enough. i have slight daw -- daw mentions. i am a moving target. guys are going to beat me up left and right. it is happening to the chick dude and he know what's to do and he knows if he gets the surgery because he has a lifetime -- he will be there for the rest of his life and he will avoid all of the punishments and move to a woman's prison where he can defend himself. i would rather look like a skank than risk getting a shank. >> all the women are nice to each other. i >>- q. i thought everyone in prison was transgender. >> if he is, why would he want to go to a female prison. >> i want to apologize to every prisoner out there watching who is not transgender or thought about being transgender or ever thought about being with a transgender. >> andy, do you president what to chime in? >> canif i was in jail for life and i had nothing to do, why not take on a hobby or project in a sex change in prison is something you can look forward to. you pick new clothes and new friends and you get hobbies. what else is there besides reading boys life in jail. >> what did we learn before getting letters? how they make their make up. they melt m&m's to use them as lipsticks. >> they reduced it to mangina bog allow. to the imreg uh log. -- to the greg-alogue, it is a bong followed by a shot of hell. >> this story is kind of stupid. >> we should talk about prison. >> a wrestling star lit up a cigarette on "raw" tuesday night and now one raging anti-smoking activist is demanding he apologize? why because he lit up in front of a row of precious, precious children who watched two tiny men to beat the cap out of her. >> boo, boo, boo. this is probably a stunt. he is supposed to be a bad guy and bad guys smoke. we won't get into that here because it is troubling and makes me sad. even the involvement is patrick reynolds who manufactures outrage and it is part of the drama. wining to it mz, quote, for him to smoke is irresponsible and at worst, if he calculated appealing to kids by posing as a bad boy outlaw, it is evil. mean while, the wwe defends the de ticks saying it is not unusual and can be seen on other programs. true. but my response might have been children come to watch glorified abuse and may ham and you are offended by the smoking. blow it out your butt. in this age of misguided priorities, smoking is the easiest thing to get angry about. at least with smoking you can express feeble rage. it is perfect because it is safe and fake. if you disagree with me, are you the racest hoe -- hom oo phobe. >> is smoking the worst thing that was going on in that arena? >> a, first it is the best word ever. i spent most of my adult life trying to stay in shape. if i knew smoking cigarettes would cut me up like that dude, i would have started in high school. >> it is funny you mentioned that, brooke was selling some kind fuss pot before the show. >> but you are go be to be reawesomed. is smoking the worst thing you can do on the planet? >> yes. >> okay, i did too. is he supposed to be a role model? i didn't get that vibe when he got out of the ring. it is like going to the movies and seeing a billet in the movies and going -- predator smoking. it doesn't make any sense. the kids are smart enough to know if they kill a person in the movie kids are not saying let's murder people. the bad guy taught people smoking is bad. >> they would take me to the movies and tell me this was all real. and that was it. they also did a lot of things. >> my mom and dad had party teaze house when i was a kid and everybody smoked and drank. >> pitting out cigarette butts in the food. i was like a five-year-old kid and the doctor is like, how did he know how to do that? she was mortar fight. >> call child services. less than 60 seconds. brooke, what is your thought? >> this guy is so ugly. he is ugly. this is a negative depiction of smoke. what ind could of kid wouldn't want to emulate that? you watch the full video and somebody say, will somebody please think of the children, the children, the yarn which. it is ridiculous. and that is coming from a children's rights advocate. coming up, is it hard to be hot when the world is so ugly? brooke goldstein discusses her new book. >> look, it is sexy girls dancing. sadly they all got legionnaire's disease. could being hot hurt your locks. a study found attractive women who attach a photo to their resume are less likely to get an interview than homely job hunters or those who don't include a pic. i like how they are showing somebody wearing glasses there. what does that mean? the research published in the royal economic society, sounds like a gang, blames jealous women who work in person nell departments. but no surprise, the reverse is true for men. attractive dudes who attach a pic to the resume are more likely to get an interview. i hand pick everyone who works for red eye. can we see tape from the staff meeting today? i like how they went back to you as opposed to me. >> i like it. >> brooke, why are women so cool to -- cruel to each other? why are you cruel to other women? >> this study is bogus. i don't think the reason is is because of jealousy. but the one part they did get right is happened so many man and that is my policy at the law fair project. i read the full article and it was conducted in the west bank. how ironic is that? what is a hot girl in the west bank? the burka rolling. >> andrew, do we need a civil rights movement for beautiful people? >> you know when you are on facebook and you get friend requests and they are just meed yolker people and i say yes i accept the friendship. when it is a really hot chick i get scared and say no. or that people are going to look at my new friends and look and go, he's picking them because they are uh -- attractive. >> i thought about that. i pick nothing but really large, hairy men. i guess you can call them bears. i had a similar experience when i started twitter. the first thing i would pick are the hot girls. and then i got the worst part of the hot girls. just hearing their thoughts. if you had to pick out of a hold handbag of something you get from the hot girl, that's what you would keep. >> that's why we are not friends on twitter. you don't think i'm attractive. >> i like your thoughts and i will be friend you on twitter for your mind. thank god that's all you got. if we cannot speak the truth, where can we speak? you are very smart. very smart. >> isn't this bogus? ugly people are discriminated against most. people should be organizing for the plain and the homely. >> i feel like it is a space ship. i am rolling around so fast i can't grab him. brooke is is pretty, but you don't think she is? what is up and what is down? that is the only time a hot chick doesn't make out. i am not including fox news because i find the fox news department, remember dennis publishing, the hr dirls were extremely men to other women. >> absolutely, totally. >> they were always men to other women and me. i thought that was weird. >> i would pound on their door and be like, i'm a dude. nothing. >> do you have a comment? e-mail us. to leave a voicemail call 212-562-5050. still to come. a half time report from mike baker. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by mier cats. they are found mostly in africa and immune to certain venom. thanks mere cat. welcome back. let's find out if we got anything wrong so far. for that we go to mr. mike baker. how are things going? >> to find out if we have gotten anything wrong so far and you go to me? how many years have we known each other? >> many years. but i hope you will approach the job with respect and responsibility that we often find in other people. >> a lot of people pay attention. >> did you just drift off during this show? >> i have been travel august lot lately. i have a lot going on. first let's go to where we stand in the charts on terms of correct answers and incorrect answers and questionable answers. i'm pleased to say that brooke is clearly in the lead on this. she has an astounding number of correct answers and no incorrect answers. that proves that hot women are sure to get the lead on where we stand polls. follow them by terry because he is a you have it dude and he wasn't mayorg a lot of odd comments. once he started pouring water down his pants, i honestly say i didn't understand a single thing he said. by the way, i would love to get a shot of andrew standing right now. >> that was already there. >> it was in certain crevasses. >> let's start with the charlie sheen story. god knows the media has stayed away from this charlie sheen thing for too long. first of all, greg, how do you spell the name barack? >>b-a-r-a-c-k. >> that's close. brooke, you started disparaging about the whole birther situation and yet in the green room you said you were on the fence. >> i say a lot of things in the green room. i think it is ridiculous. >> which? >> the birther. the move meant that denies the legitimacy of our president is lid includes. -- is ridiculous. >> there are several many arguments to be made. >> his legitimacy as an american citizen. >> that's where we are going. i just want to double check on that. and andrew you made the comment which ended up in the questionable category that you are concerned that charlie sheen's behavior and his swearing in particular may lead to his minimization as a role model. >> i started to notice he was heading downhill. >> and what is your favorite sheen moment so far in the whole sheen saga? >> first of all i was staring over there for like five minutes. i have been on a space ship the last few days. the best part is when he called himself a vatican assassin. > there are not many on that team. i got turned out. >> did any of andrew's fluids get on you? >> no, i it just would have been funny. >> i learned my lesson. i am not talking about fluid nis more. dash -- fluid nis more. in case you were not paying attention ars chorally sheen is on his road show and he called sarah palin a loon gnaw particular from alaska and the way he woos straighten out qaddafi is have him marry his ex-wives. the sex change story, the only thing i remember from that and i wasn't taking notes was greg the only thing to do in prison is to read old copies of boys life. >> bill? >> yes jie. name those two characters. >> i knew i could count on you for that. >> you guys are wrong. that's highlights, buddy. >> here is the thing, greg. a 45-year-old man subscribing to boys life, illegal. a 45 man sub scrining to high lights. totally illegal. let's go to the story about ww a and the our truth. he is a 235 superstar of wwe. his signature move is the lie detector. so brooke -- >> he's ugly. >> brooke, what is your signature move? i don't have a witty rhetoric to that. i'm on the spot right now. >> i'm sorry about that. with terry's background he has to have a signature move. >> it all of the high speed stuff i learned, the signature move was like, there is a naked girl and oh she just hit you. >> it is not very creative sm. >> it just keeps staring at him. >> there is a dude -- >> there is a dude in leather with oil all over him. >> you would adapt or die. >> i have been to andrew's facebook page an