diet composed of twingeys? the stories that will fill you with creamy delight. >> thanks, andy. >> me thingst every man shall beat thee. >> i smite your nodles. >> all right, let's welcome our guests. this is tire so many. i am here with sc-kupp. her latest book is called "losing our religion." she is so hot that hot dogs are called kupp pups. it is bill shultz. and he performs tricks as easily as i learn them. fun fact, he is so magical he puns pulled a rab -- he once pulled a rabbit out of me. and a lout who lost his clout. good to see you, pinch. >> check out our hum dinger of a travel piece. it is a region that offers -- thanks, i was parched. now i am starting to wealth. -- welt. greg? >> thank you for the mess. >> that was bill, not me. they call you a beece and fill you with grease. the department of agriculture has discurlinged eating dairy products because they are high in saturated fat which is linked to heart disee.s -- heart disease. and they are made from babies. an arm of the usda called dairy management helped domino create a new pizza with 40% more cheese and then spent $12 million to develop a marketing campaign for the company seen here. so why michelle obama tells restaurant to eat healthy crud no one wants, the government is helping develop a pizza. speaking of cheese, here is a kid who likes cutting it. >> 11-year-old christian summers thinks playing video games is fun. according to his school bus driver, he also thinks passing gas is fun. she didn't find his flatulene ce so funny. >> i said it was an accident. >> and christian was slapped with an hour detention at the row park elementary. >> i thought it was pretty dumb. >> now he is secretive on letting one slip on a small school bus. >> when i have to pass gas i have to cuff myself -- cover myself because it won't stink up the bus. >> it is good news no one died today. >> exactly. >>ingthing else happened. wow, is that cool. no one died in the world. six million people healthy and one kid farting. >> the cheese lobby is creating heroes like this. this man cannot control his farting. >> is cheese a flatulent? >> are you kidding me? >> no, i am not. >> it has caused many an unfortunate occurrence in my life. >> are you lactose intolerant? >> i am cheese intolerant. actually i am intolerant of anything. >> well, that was none of my business. that was none of my business. i was wrapped up in this whole we're on tv and we share everything thing. >> i'm going to get to your perm life. -- personal life. >> you are a hard core libertarian. should the government be involved in our cheese eating practis? >> absolutely. they also subsidize cheese and then they stop us. the candidate for libertarian who was a candidate and that's why you never heard of him. he used to start his speeches for libertarian nuts by saying we spend this much money subsidizing the tobacco industry. we spend this much money telling people not to smoke. let's just stop one of them. that's the halfway point. the cheese battle, it is our money being spent to put more cheese in pizza and then tell people not to eat. so it is someone who has a brain in their [explative]. i think you shouldn't tell people to eat cheese and then put more cheese in things. maybe let people make up their own mind about cheese. i know that's crazy. >> i say more cheese. impeachable offense for obama? >> yes! >> we've got him on this one. this is a total scandal. he has his wife on one hand telling us we have fat kids that need to be on diets and then he is shoveling cheese in their faces in order to keep her working on the fat kids. >> it is like, whoa. okay. yeah, i hate -- i'm with you. i hate all these liberal policies, and i hope the inevitable conclusion is they put every single industry out of work, the cheese industry, the tobacco industry, the toy making industry, the meat industry. so we are a nation of 60% unemployment and we will be miserable, but we will be thin. >> americans eat 33 pounds of cheese -- >> a day. >> yeah, a day. that's basically one of you. >> that was the one take away i got from this really complicated story. i had a hard time following it. but 33 pounds of cheese a year, holly colon clod. i will take all of my money and invest in exlax. holly poop. >> i can eat cheese without thinking what it is. it is like milk. i can't drink milk. if i think of where milk comes from. it is taking fluids out of a cow. >> how about eggs? eggs are chicken ass. >> it bothers me. >> no, i'm hungry. i want to eat things. you can't even -- if you don't even have the gut to eat a piece of cheese, what ind could of a man are you -- what kind of man are you? remember with the three stooges, are you a man or mouse? put down a piece of cheese and find outment -- find out. you couldn't pass that test. >> i can eat cheese as long as i don't think about it. >> it is the only food group that sweat. >> that can't be true. >> i will disagree, circle gets a square. >> by the way, the dominos pizza, what do you make of it? is it a better pizza? >> sounds amazing to me. >> lots of cheese. gies wisconsin, -- >> wisconsin thank obama. is america exceptional like something really exceptional? a giant dune buggy? that's exceptional. marco rubio made it a campaign of his many speeches. it is something easy to forget how special america really is. but i was raised by exiles, by people who clearly understand how different america is from the rest of the world. but as andy ferguson of the weekly standard notes while many think exceptionalism is true, many do not. last year obama said "i believe in american exceptionalism just as i suspect the brits believe in british exceptionalism and the greeks believe in greek exceptionalism. meaning if even believe had -- if everyone believes in it then it is not exceptional. you know what is exceptional? >> what? >> i lived with them for two years. they were freaks. they were absolute freaks. they didn't have any cheese problems. they had glass table problems. andy, why can't obama accept the fact that america is better than all other countries? >> i think it is a real mistake to say america. it is not the population. it is not where you are born. it is not geographical. it is an intellectual idea. the constitution and the bill of rights and especially the first amendment, the idea of allowing the freedom of press and the idea that the solution to bad speech is more speech is in a really exceptional idea. it is an exceptional idea wherever you do it. people are not any different around the world. there is nothing special about americans. it is an accident at birth. it was an idea that really kicked ass. and part of that idea is give individuals as much freedom as possible and they will do groovy things. >> that was nice. >> they act like -- they pretend to be exceptionalism of the idea is an exceptionalism of the people. one is patently true, and one is racist and evil. >> that makes sense. sc, you are racist and evil. that's why we love you. obama acknowledged the climate of american economic dominance. isn't that a self-fulfilling prophesy? >> this is one area i wanted him to be arrogant. he is arrogant in so many other arenas. i want him to be like, we're cool, we're fine, everything is going to be all right. why? because america is awesome. could you imagine like bush or cheney talking like this? i mean they are poker faces when they went out. bush would be like america is the best, it is always going to be the best because god told me so. god said so. >> i don't think he does use that language. >> he would, he would. >> bill, you travel all over your apartment. why do you hate america so much? >> i hate america, but not because i travel all around my apartment. i love america. i love places like american exceptionalism. i love taking our country back and i love america must go forward. i personally am for america going backward. but i love when people say the rhetoric. >> you want america to bend over. >> right. >> you don't want it to go backwards. and i can [explative] for all it is worth. but why do i feel if he said all the things sc wanted him to say it would be, look at this arrogant president! is he living in a box? does he see what is going on? >> good, that's what we want. >> here is my point. in obama's mind -- >> why not just build better stuff? >> build stuff, period. >> anything. >> the president is not supposed to be doing pr for companies. >> really? >> i don't think he is supposed to do that. i don't think he is supposed to go out and do all of this stuff. just give us freedom and leave us alone. we don't need to be taken care of. that does president mean that the president whether it is bush or whether it is obama has to go overseas and do pr for us. i don't want the president doing commercials for us. >> included in that pr though is a sense of apologizing. >> don't apologize, but also don't go around the world bragging and swinging it around. just do your job. >> my theory is he in his heart, it is part of being a liberal. they are never exceptional. >> all right, all right. >> a nice pinucci or a maple. i did change the subject then? >> i will say this, when i am not pledging -- i notice that the best gun slinger in the bar doesn't talk about being the best gun sling inert bar. he knows it. he doesn't have to talk. and the leaders that do usually are -- >> but he also doesn't go out and say i am not that great. i am really not that great. >> he is a self-depricating president. >> it is like you are cat talking. it is really cool. >> and just like the cat we feed him a little snack afterward. >> invariably it is cheese. >> sweaty cheese. >> you know what the pinucci is? >> that's what i make after i make the sweaty cheese. from a yanky dole to a consume summer revolt. is crap green lost its cheese? the industry niagara board says sales have slowed for stuff like green cleaners and hybrid cars and going for bottled water which as you know is water in actual bottles. and a new study showed a big leap in shoppers who think echo friendly alternatives are too pricey. and they are actually better for the environment. being green sucks more than "saw3-de." so how is the green movement reacting? we asked the spokesman for comment. >> why couldn't they have used a smaller building and a real guy? >> i don't know. back then they were just learning special affects. that guy was really green. >> i thought that was a scene from "avatar." how old is that? >> i don't know. is the economy at fault or are people wising up this stuff is bogus. >> i will tell you what is going on here. environmental causes are for rich people. every hair-brained cause finds a friend. when we are all just trying to put food on the table, it falls on our list of priorities. so sorry polar bears, but if they want to get a little more attention right now, they will have to help us figure out how to get more jobs. get off your asses polar bears and help us get jobs. >> they are just waiting there to be rescued. >> would you say that to a polar bear's face? >> they are hairy pigs. >> why do they have to be white? >> lazy, come rescue me. >> all you would say to a polar bear is scream and drop your cheese. they are frightening. >> they are man-eaters. >> yes, frightening. polar bears are also big. i i want to say stuff on this show, but i don't want to be busted. >> that's good. >> but when something is cheaper, isn't it better for the environment? when something is pricier it means it costs more to build which means -- >> it depends on a lot of stuff. i think there are too many variables to make a rule, but this is television so make one. >> recycling. >> recycling, a lot of times if you get paid to recycle, then it is worth it because they are actually using the stuff. if they are just doing it by force, it probably isn't doing that much good. also we did a bs show on this. landfills are not that terrible. we are pretty good at it. >> they are kind of awesome. >> when i was a kid, my dad in the station wagon driving me to the dump was the highlight of my life. did you ever go and it is filled with crap and that stuff wasn't dirty. it was fun. >> and you always found stuff to take home with you. >> there was always a piece of bicycle. >> well, the bowl-bleep we will call it on a family show. you couldn't make a 35-square mile landfill and you put all of america's junk in there, and we would be okay. you showed that on a map and you could barely see the little red dot. >> it is really not that scary. >> most green choices are made to alleviate the other choices in people's lives. a rich person would rather buy the green soap than give up the flight to bar saw loan gnaw. -- bar saw loan gnaw. if the product works they will buy them. >> and they have to be cheaper. they have to be affordable. >> we are the most successful, richest, fattest group of people that ever lived. >> yea! >> and we feel very, very guilty about that. they do the carbon credits which is just like going to the pope and saying, i'm really sorry -- >> what are they called? june indulgence. >> the other thing too, bottled water, wasn't that first embraced by the environment because it was wonderful water? it didn't have the chemicals and the fluoride and all that stuff? >> all the plastic. >> now the poor seagulls are choking on them. i don't like seagulls. >> no, they are mean birds. >> what is up with robert downey, junior? beats me, we didn't try to book him. and can you lose weight by eating twinkies? can you do it in groups? it was awesome. i suck. so the topic of bullying has elbowed its way to the front of the grievance parade with city councils passing anti-bullying laws and stars lining up to denounce such dark behave. of course, that's because bullying is easy to get ernest about. no matter how much of a jrk you are, and i'm up there, you can't say bullying is awesome. it makes for legitimate easy outrage that even the shallowest celebrity can get behind. as every starry minds us, they were once bullies too. they were also dorks in high school with braces and glasses on their braces. here is where i'm headed, there is a bully gap going on. everyone claims to be bullied, but no one claims to be the bully. i was bullied. his nate was patrick. he demanded cash. when i stood up to him he sulked to object obscurity. there you go, pat. i bet everyone was bullied and i bet you were bullied too. that leads me to one question. if we were all bullied, where are the bullies? the answer, both. i remember being bullied, but if i try harder i remember sara high school's spanish class. the teacher was a cuban refugee who went through hell to get here and i made it hellier, sorry, manny. my . is, those kids whose webcam peeping was blamed for a suicide, they did something wrong. what is it bullying? even now people are realizing while the ce-eds were mucking about, they weren't trying to hurt the guy. if if you demonize them because it makes you feel good, there is a definition for that and it is called bullying. if you disagree with me, so help me god, i will kick your racist homophobic butt. >> we were going back and forth about this a couple weeks ago on e-mail. you are saying that actually being tall is really hard because people bully you and know -- >> it is a combination. i was enormous. i also was very tall very early. i was like 6 foot 5 coming out of junior high. and i also was a and still am, i have never hit anybody in my life. so you could hit me and i wouldn't hit back and you were hitting a big guy. and there is all this david and goliath guy. i have a problem with the bible anyway. this story says the big guy is always wrong, hit him with a stick. hit him with a stone. beat him up. i would be -- well, i had the longest hair and i wore eye make up and i was -- >> you deserved it. >> i did. and the thing was i was walking home from school with a woman from my class i was going to have sex with and they beat me up for being gay. four guys who were together just the four of them beat me up. fortunately -- >> they were gay. >> well, from what it sounds they thought you were lesbian. i said, i am gay and i am the only one with a woman? they hit me in the face and i remember bleeding and spiting out the blood and saying, are you done now? i remember my date thinking it was so sexy because i was tough. you said this in an e-mail that we are all bullies. although i never hit anybody and i was a piece nick, i was always very aggressive verbally. when i look back on that, i never saw the bullying as anything verbal because i didn't do it. bullying was only physical and everything i said was okay. when you started telling the story about your spanish teacher and i am choking up on emotion and i look back on the incredibly cruel things i said, and then i was thinking about the bullying stuff. well i was beat up a lot even though i was big. well, you did yell and say things that made people cry. >> he was the nicest spanish -- it crushes me when i think about. it he came from cuba and i put ?ails on the floor when he walked in and he slid and fell on his back. >> gregory. >> he died four years ago in 2006. this happened in 1984 so he had 20 years maybe. but still it bothers me. >> you are a terrible person. >> the doctor said it was from prolonged snail poisoning. >> es scar go. >> here is the point that no one talks about, people bully other people because they like them. it is their only way of connecting. >> oh my gosh. >> that's amazing upper body strength. >> i do like you. >> but don't you agree? >> boys pulled your hair in school. >> i was bullied terribly. >> that was a way of saying she was popular. >> it was bad. but since we are all confessing, i bullied some girls in my time. i remember in second grade my mom got a phone call from the teacher, ms. cupp, i'm sorry, your daughter just called lyndsay jesperson a vagina. my excuse was no i didn't i called her a bagina. and that is infinitely better. >> as long as it is a made up word for sure. for all we know it could have been latin. >> bill, you bullied yourself. >> i abuse myself. i don't know. i get -- i think if you make fun of someone for a cheap laugh i don't know that is bullying. i am behind that. but i think if you maintain your bully, but you might not be both. i think it is a bully. >> all right, i want to make that clear. i am a bully. so do you have a comment on the show? e-mail us. it is red eye at fox news .com. to leave a voicemail on my direct line call 212-462-5050. still to come, the half time report from andy levy. he is a bully and a jerk. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by perseverance. the course of action in spite of difficulty. thanks perer is veerns -- perseverance. welcome back. let's find out if we have anything right so far. anally, i went to my first trani bar. >> did you have fun? >> yeah. who thought the u.n translators had their own bar. >> yes, they do. >> good for you. >> yes. >> good are to you. >> you claim dairy products are made from babies? >> yes. >> in fact, according to the national dairy council, these days 97% of cheese is baby free. >> still they have a long way to go. >> they are working on it. >> can't fault them for that. >> you asked greg if he was lactose intolerant. a lot of my people are lactose intolerant so the government is funding foods we can't eat. why does the government hate the jews? >> that's one of the questions. >> exactly. >> why does the government hate the jews? >> andy, first they come for the lactose intolerance. >> and then they come for people who constantly use the first day come thing. >> what are you talking about? i only used it twice. >> first they come for people who repeat jokes. >> i use the term loosely. >> you are safe. >> greg asked if this was an impeachable offense for obama, and you said yes. i am not arguing with you at all. but there should be an imp