contributor. good for her. she is so hot the towering inferno is called the tamara holder. and it is dhaddeus, nice name. and my repulsive sidekick, bill shultz. and next to me, tim norton. and he is about to fold and full of mold. good to see you, pinch. >> happy fashion week to one and all of the ladies, if you are looking for something, why not wear a whole lot of me, mind the paper cuts, or don't, pleasure and pain. >> bombs don't even wear you, bill. >> what? my name is pinch, greg. don't pull the curtain, greg. pay no attention to the man with a string. can an e-mail get you banned from the states? an e-mail was september to the commander-in-chief from a drunk british teenager. after viewing a tv show of the 9/11 attack and downing a few too many, luke angel with his heavy mutilated face -- no wonder he was sending threatening e-mails. look at the poor guy. >> is he wearing lipstick? >> i don't know, but he definitely needs help. his name is luke angel, but he decided not to behave like one and sent an angry letter to obama. his slur restatement is -- sis slur restatement explains why angel who is now no longer to cross the pond, as it were, quote. >> i can't remember why i wrote as i was drunk. i think i called barack obama a [bleep]. it is the thing you do when you are a teenager and have a few. the police said i was banned from america forever. i don't care, but my parents aren't happy. >> that was an amazing interpretation. kids are so stupid. and now for a musical interpretation, let's go live to my favorite folk group man dog band. what do you have for us today, boys? >> he told him to do that on the accordion, but it didn't end there. >> it is just annoying. it is like there is one more thing, it is another teenager, another ?ot-nosed teenager. don't let him in. >> congressman, there has to be something more to this than him calling president obama a name, right? what is going on here? >> well, i don't have firsthand knowledge of it, but clearly there had to be some type of implied threat of some kind of insulting language for this action to be taken. unlike jim and those people upset of the wharf 1812, we don't want to be appearing with the british at this point. >> i love the brits. i was just joking. do you ever get threatening e-mails? >> yes, many from people other than you. >> yes, i send four or five a day, some with photographs. >> i am lazy so i just send you what greg sent. i reiterate what he said. >> tamara, do you ever send regrettable texts to people? >> i do a lot of regrettable things when i have had too much to drink. i like this kid's excuse. well, he is 17? i have used that excuse a lot when i have had too much to drink. he probably had a good attorney who said never admit or say that you have had too much to drink. it works all the time. at least the guys i hookup with. >> drunks or 17-year-olds. >> both. >> bill, i don't know. this story to me doesn't smell right. you don't get banned from the united states for making an insult. there is something else going on here. >> well, not to mention the fact he says, "i don't really remember what i wrote" and then he added a coup because he is stereo typical british. unless the government has an all-powered mechanism, the minute you said something threatening to the president look at your september file and look at what you sent and then report it. but the government did the dumbest thing possible, they made this kid a bad ass. he is going to be the most popular kid from school because he is banned from going to the united states. they have just given him the best thing ever. >> yeah, i would love to be banned from a country. like canada, you know? >> or thailand. >> i wouldn't want to be banned from the country of hawaii though because it is beautiful. >> or the country of puerto rico. >> the island people of hawaii are fantastic. >> or florida for that matter, the panhandle state. >> this kid sucks because he referred to himself as a teenager. that's what you do when you are a teenager. that's when you say when you are 35 or 40. when you say it and you are a teenager, you are an ass. >> maybe the attorney wrote it for him. >> >> i like his name. it is not as good as trapp summers. from now on, i am trapp summers. do you think the authorities would have acted similarly if it was bush? or do you think bush gets stuff like this all the time? >> i think they take these matters seriously regardless of the party trap. i think this is something they would have done in the same instance as president bush. >> one thing, he was not charged criminally. it is interesting why they would go and investigate this and not charge him criminally. however, they ban him from the country. it doesn't make sense. >> this thing smells. either it never happened or something worse happened. i don't get this at all. and i am trapp summers. nothing gets past trapp summers. >> from baning a teen to a speaker who is mean, will her gavel turn to -- unravel. they say nancy pelosi hillary tire when she loses the job. and insiders predict she will take time off with her family, seen here. but wait there's more. >> i think you are going to see speaker john baneer and you will see the retired former speaker nancy pelosi. i think there is a very good chance that you are gonna see majority leader mitch mcconnell, and you are gonna see defeated harry reid. >> he then redistricted the sand people of mars would defeat the cloud walkers of venus. pelosi's opponent, businessman john dennis, has a new ad comparing h her to a not so beloved character from film. roll tape. >> i wish there was a political party. >> i don't care about political parties. i just want a home that is not blown away by debt. eon, toto. >> i will put you in debt for generations. >> that's not good at all, pluto. >> hello, my pretty. i will save you from the evil republican. first pay $18,000 a month for my downtown office. and then go into massive debt for wall street bailout. and here are my monkeys to make you pay for it all. >> thank you for saving us. who are you? >> i'm john dennis. >> it is like the production value of a vivid video. it is like they take a movie and re-do it. i just have a feeling it will turn bad. >> those are not cheap. >> terrible stuff. >> here is what i learned here. he threw water on this woman's face and the face didn't dissolve. it is a positive ad saying pelosi is not a witch. >> yeah, great way to spin it. i think it is the greatest ad for anything i have ever seen. i like the fact he comes out in a suit and throws a bucket of water on her face. i don't know if you noticed it, but it is kind of wizard of ozish. >> glad you noticed. >> do you agree that the republicans will take the house and pelosi hillary tire and reid will be gone. do you agree with that? >> there is a long way to go and the worst thing republicanses or conservatives can do is count their chickens before they hatch. >> did you coin that phrase? >> yes. i believe i saw it on a vivid video. >> it means something completely different on vivid video, by the way. go ahead. >> no, there is a long way to go, and it is too early. speaker gingrich, maybe he relates more often with speaker pelosi than i do. she hasn't relayed the secret plans for me. as for the qs wizard of oz" video, it is california. >> what did you think of the video? is it sexist? >> no, it is creepy. but newt relates more than the hill more than anything else. he wanted clinton out for his monica lewinski under the table thing. what was he doing? he was having his own affair. he is upset that he is not there getting chickses anymore. >> bill, as a friend of nancy you must be upset. >> i was at my friend of dorothy's club, we were enjoying cosmos and i was discussing this ad. the two things are every character in this ad is as you said, they are so creepy they make the munchkins look like the flying monkeys. and the other thing is, i am pretty convinced that it is mark sanford. thank you look, that is mark sanford. >> i want to show you my favorite commercial. i was senator chuck grassley explaining technology. >> i heard chuck grassley has a twitter. >> can it be cured? >> i like to use new technologies like twitter and facebook just to keep in touch and meetings in 99 counties every year. i will treat, i will text, i will do whatever it takes. i work for you. >> i'm chuck grassley and i approve this message. >> can you imagine doing a commercial like this? >> i like the twitter -- did she have a rotary phone? >> they actually had the facebook and twitter symbols on his ad in the corner as if to bring the point home. the only thing missing is he didn't call it "the twitter." >> i like using the moving staircases at the mall. you get there faster. you don't have to walk. >> i employ hidden camera technology in restrooms. none of the windows in my car are rollers. . can't emphasize that enough. >> congressman, i'm shocked. somehow he believes that he is further ahead of the curve than his constituents. and to me that would be a no-no. washington generally lags behind constituents. >> that's true. >> he totally forgot his twitter handle and his facebook profile page. if you are trying to get money or donations or whatever, at least tell people where to find you on twitter and facebook. >> he wouldn't know where that is though. how do i get inside twitter? >> look at my casio. it has a calculater on it. to the greg-alogue. it is a cup cake of coherence in a bakery of despair. >> so sunday night was a special time for me. of course it was my birthday and i spent it accordingly with a number of close friends reminiscing about good times. i believe we have tape of the festivities. >> did you guys put on a show. rest in piece my special fellows. as fun as it was, i can't escape the fact when i am old. when i am old i have two choices to fight it or accept it. luckily for me i am gorgeous, but i am sensible. i embrace aging because aging doesn't care. that's why the night got even better. mtv aired the video music awards and cher showed up wearing the same outfit she wore in the turn back the time video, and yeah you can see her butt. there she is. you could have found a better picture. >> have i to say she doesn't look that bad for 157. i own a similar dress, but it still sucks. this, friends, is what happens when you refuse to accept the inevitability of decay. if in your golden years you strap yourself in a creepy sausage wrapping to prove you still have it, you have lost it. the only great thing about being old is being old, ie. it is a great thing. once you are old, you become a lovable granny or embarassing crohn clutching a state of dreams. i know the path i would choose. i want more grannies and less exposed fan knees. i would think raul and sparta would agree with me. right? >> i miss their gentle weeping. if you disagree with me, are you a racist homophobe who has not returned my "best of wham" dvd. empowering or humiliating? >> greg, i thought it was terrific. i was dying to see the 1989 outfit. i would really like to see the 1980 outfit she wore when she got out of the bathtub in "the shining." >> i have to say, her body looked great. but there is just something wrong. she is 64, tamara. >> yeah, but how can you hate on a woman that looks that good? especially as a woman myself, she has like abs and beautifully toned legs. i can't criticize the lady. but i want to say something about that video. was that your -- was that jermaine jackson you were dancing with? >> i can't say. part of the exchange of currency is you don't bring up the real or false names. >> congressman, have we lost the art of aging gracefully? >> well, trapp, as long as people consider your outward appearance more important than what you have learned along the way and the wisdom you can impart, i think we are going to continue to have these types of discussions. >> bill, i wayment to bring -- bill, i want to bring up lady gaga's outfit. do you see that? >> let's look at that picture. say what you will of cher, at least lady gaga looks like share does now. at least cher's wig was made of human hair. i don't know what pony lady gaga has on. underneath a meat dress, mind you, but cher looks better than the gaga. and by the way, that came out of my mouth. cher looks better than the gaga. >> what do you think? >> i think it is sexy. i want to see ruth in a sexy outfit. >> i don't know what message. you can't tell if it is pro meat or anti-meat. >> i swear to god, i believe she has said it was a statement about the way gays are treated in the military. it was some ridiculous excuse she gave for wearing this. >> and it doesn't stink. >> there is one other thing we don't know or we do know. we show cher is a woman. lady gaga, we are still a little -- it is a little up there. >> it is a little up there? nice pun. we have to move on, coming up, should twizzlers be banned for being too chewy? , but first,-- but first, does the police know about your perk set? -- percocet? i think i popped one too many. they want to keep tabs on your tabs. they want the facts on your fact. they want to spy on injure hye. they are looking forward to gaining access to your records that would id anyone for prescriptions for painkillers. the fun police maintain the info would be inavailable for pill abusers and provide leads to illegal drug arrests. shockingly some people are not cool with this. says the aclu lobbyist, quote, what really did concern us was the privacy aspect particularly in towns where everybody knows everybody. holy crap. i agree with the aclu. somebody stab bill in the face. some are sampling monkeys riding pigs. tell me i wasn't the only perch who saw that, was i -- tell me i wasn't the only person who saw that, was i? >> congressman, as a regular pill abuser, this must outrage you, no? >> no. i seriously am reconsidering watching that video again. the furry critter looked like you. and i know that's not the first time you have ridden a hog. >> answer the question, congressman. >> i can't remember the question. >> well, if -- well, this is wrong, is it not? >> yes. >> why is it wrong? >> because you said so. >> come on. you are not going to answer the question? >> i think it is wrong to have the government coming in. you have the medical profession there and the doctor-patient relationship and a pharmacist there. everything is in place to make sure people can be safeguarded from this type of abuse. you don't necessarily need to have the government looking over your shoulder when you have these professionals in place. and unless -- just because they are looking at this prospectively in terms of how we can solve problems ahead of time, there is no reason to go in there and have this oversight for people. >> what this does is makes it hard for people like me who use prescription pills recreationally -- >> well, you should be able to. it makes you pleasant for all of us. >> i think i'm the real loser in all of this. >> i am like you. i agree with you. now it is illegal pills, but then what is next? taking sigh y'all lis -- cialis to workout? >> you need it at the gym, don't you? >> i sure do. >> it is fantastic. >> and my wife's spandex. >> wonderful. tamara, you are a lawyer or claim to be one. can this happen? it seems unconstitutional. >> it seems like a violation of rights to privacy and issues with arrest and illegal stops. if you are a prescribed pain medicine and pulled over, then you are charged with dui drugs. i wanted to go off what you said with this viagra. i am wondering if they can expand the list so i can get the list of viagra users before i go on dates with guys. >> why would you want that? >> just to make sure i can cross them off. >> no, you don't want to. we are troopers. nothing stops us. >> so if you are on the list -- >> i am trying to figure out if that's a plus. i assume that's a plus. >> four hours is not a plus. >> bill, that's because you can't sit down for three or four dayses. >> these pills are legal. >> awful, awful. >> and everyone knows that -- everyone knows that you are fine after two or three popers. it balances it, greg. it balances it. >> these pills are legal. they could start doing this with purchases of alcohol. >> absolutely. but the real problem here is how can republican pill popers still hate the aclu after a comment like that? i found a way. now, what she does is she says this is wrong, but then she goes particularly in small southern towns where everybody knows each other. southern stereo type alert. everyone knows each other. they are all related. they all know each other bib lickly. -- biblicall y. >> nicely done. >> i am in my outrage glasses. >> can i play devil's advocates? >> we are really better on dates. >> there is no anxiety. >> absolutely. i never have any pressure. it u.s. did president matter what is going on. -- it doesn't matter what is going on. >> you don't need the pressure. me on the other hand. did somebody say nude yoga? you bet they did. tim norton demonstrate after the break. >> can stuffed animals solve your problems? if your biggest problem is a broken transmission, then no. they are great to cuddle, but their lives are a muddle. yes, a german toy maker, yeah, they make toys, has created a new line of stuffed animals with psychiatric disorders. for 38 bucks you can own a mentally ill toy complete with a treatment plan. among them, dubbed the turtle who suffers from severe depression. dolly the sheep with multiple personality disorder. sly the stake with the hallucinations and there is a crocodile with an irrational fear of water. well, why invent such toys? they like their vulnerability and they find something in them that gives them a great sense in comfort. that was so not german. but you know what comforts me when i feel vulnerable? cannibalism. >> it was great when the mascots and the cheerleaders get together. engulfed. that is not right. >> they found her five days later perfectly fine. do you wish you had animals like this when you were a child? >> i rather would have needed them getting girlfriends. what do you tickle your doll with a hammer? >> i love the idea. >> i like the dolls you can blowup. they are the fun ones. >> congressman, should kids have toys with phobias? i guess if your kid has a phobia you want the toy to have a phobia. does that make sense? >> it is a parental decision. i remember when we are growing up -- and you are older than me. when we were growing up we had dolls like gi joe and things like that that were more action orant whid rather than more self-ago actual liesing. -- self-actualizing. we also had raggedy-andy. he was the precursor to freddy kruger. >> you will not throw one of these off the top flight of stairs and get a response from the bottom. it is just not going to do anything. it is not designed for fun. >> interesting you say up ward looking. my gi joes were often found days later in michael 11 after i lost them -- in my colon after i lost them. >> did you see these things catching on in the united states? >> no, the one that is weird is the sheep with a zipper in the middle. so what do you do? do you unzip the center of the sheep? >> i guess maybe because it is two personalities that are split. bill, how many of these do you own? >> none, greg, and i don't want to turn this whole, we've come a long way, baby. it is important to note that not 30 years ago the american association of psychiatry listed homosexuality as a mental disorder. and it is probably hard to believe, but 30 years ago there was actually a hungry homosexual hipo on the market for this type of disorder. i am so happy it is off the market, although if you note, it is worth a fortune now on e bay. >> you have one at your house, right? >> i did. i don't need it anymore. it is not a disorder. >> if it helpses a kid with a problem, by all means, buy it. >> and i have to say, it b