this texan just tested positive for barbecue sauce cohost of fox and friends weekend, will cain! [cheers and applause] >> greg: this pyro lights a fire in my heart, cohost of fox and friends first todd piro! [cheers and applause] >> greg: she's like a bass drum. she's like a base drum. makes a lot of noise and gets hit on by marching bands. fox news contributor kat timpf! >> greg: and his forearms are the size of four arms. my massive side kick and the nwa world heavy weight champion tyrus! [cheers and applause] >> greg: all right. before we get to some new stories it's friday so let's do this. >> greg's leftovers. >> greg: it's leftovers where i read jokes i didn't read this week as always it's my first time reading these so if they suck i don't care. in an interview this week former new jersey governor chris christie is considering running in 2024. [laughter] >> greg: the bad news, he means for president. you could see that one coming. much like him. ha because he's a big. nice way of saying fat. plus-size. a study from the american society for micro biology finds that new york city rats can carry the covid-19 virus. which is in addition to rabies, herpes and switch blade knives. >> an avid marathon runner admitted to pooping her pants because she didn't want to stop while running a personal best time. it's the most inspirational case of someone pooping their pants on the job since the inauguration. [laughter] >> greg: we have no proof of that. [cheers and applause] >> greg: you guys love a good [bleep] joke. an intense meeting, two female florida school board members clashed over the definition of the word woman. and after hours of arguing over who said what, they realized it's probably us. [laughter] >> greg: a new study predicts the world's population could peak at 8.5 billion people by the year 2050. said one man, hey if you need help with overpopulation, let me know. [laughter] >> greg: intel corp. co-founder gordan moore passed away last friday at the age of 94. doctors pulled the plug and then waited five minutes before plugging it back in again. [laughter] >> greg: he invented moore's law. a few virtual reality death simulator lets people experience what it's like to feel their lives slipping away. users report this image as the last thing they see. [laughter] >> greg: ha ha ha ha yeah [cheers and applause] smei. >> greg: the view cohost and a navarro says she's upset 24 hours a day for having to live in florida. not because of the policies of governor ron desantis but because chick-fil-a is only open until 10:00. doctors in nepal say they had to perform surgery on a man who got a water glass stuck in his rectum after a drunken noise out. the good news is he made it back to nepal just fine. [laughter] >> greg: that was unfair. >> little too long director. >> greg: and finally president biden's approval rating has tumbled to just 40%. so to give his numbers a boost he asked manhattan da alvin bragg to indict him. [laughter] [cheers and applause] >> greg: all right. now the news. obviously the bombshell case that could have unprecedented ramifications for decades to come. the legal victory for gwyneth paltrow in her utah ski collision lawsuit. we go live to constitutional circular and tocks news contributor jonathan turley in outer space. what's your take on paltrow winning? jonathan, you can hear me? seems to be in there. i guess our deep space technology isn't ready yet. guess we'll do a different story. poor jonathan. but he played along so who cares. all right, the indictment. trump's attorney says he'll face 34 counts of business fraud. sources tell fox digital he'll surrender last week. alvin bragg was so elated e released a few convicted killers to celebrate. but trump is ready to fight. >> he's ready to fight. 's the toughest man i know. i've never been more angry about a charge because today the rule of of law in united states died. it's dead. >> greg: former human being nancy pelosi tweeted this nonsense no doubt from an old blackberry in her skeletal hands, quote no one is above the law and everyone has a right to a trial to prove innocence. hopefully the former president will peacefully respect the system which grants him that right. actually you corrupt old bat it's not on trump to prove innocence in his legal system it's on prosecutors to prove guilt. but that may not a apply to show trials like this or to comments from a woman who was born before the magna cart a. i wonder what old joe thinks about this. >> oh, no, no. look, look. i'm going to keep saying it. i believe in the rule of thumb, right? the rule of thumb. i mean the, the thumb of law, the rule of law. come on. and it's like nancy pelosi said, you're guilty until proven innocent all right, that's the way our country works. and so this guy's got plenty of time to prove he's innocent before he's president again. no he's not president again. i'm president again. i'm president now right? am i? yeah, i'm president now. so what are we talking about here? >> greg: meantime [cheers and applause] >> greg: trump put out a very trumpy statement, quote, the democrats have lied, cheated, stolen in the obsession with trying to get trump. we're going to throw every last one of these crooked democrats out of office so we can make america great again. now, as for stormy daniels, which is not her real name, by the way, since the news broke, she's making a killing selling team stormy merch calendars t-shirts lingerie and as a bonus each item comes with a free bag you can put over her head. i mean, let's be honest. so what's this all mean? well brag vowed he would do this if elected so it's pure politics but he has no idea what he did. he's like a suicide bomber who just blew up his own party and that party is the democrats. of course the peed i can't is giddy and why wouldn't they be they're dumb [bleep]s who always miss the big picture. they've been hunting the same people for years from parents at school boards to trump supporters to people with traditional pronounce. karine jean-pierre announced transgenders were under attack days after a transgender massacred christian kids at a school. what does that tell you? it's no longer a left thing it's inside versus out, the elites versus the outsiders they look down on, people like you, people like trump. but don't get mad it's not worth it. jut get your angry butterflies into formation. after all we can't run around with our hair on fire, you'll end up looking like this. >> period! >> greg: will, glad to see that we're all dressed the same like vacationing real estate agents. very strange. anyway, do you agree that this is a political persecution? do you have any new thoughts on this matter? >> will: wow, that's a challenge, new thoughts because everyone said everything i'm going to say about this. >> greg: exactly. >> will: i think that maybe the most useful thing to do is step outside of ourselves here and hear it from the other side and what they're saying is, quote, unquote, no one is above the law. >> greg: right. >> will: what they fail to recognize is that alvin bragg is beyond the law. this is a misdemeanor charge which stats statute of limitation expired four years ago so it has other motivations. the new thing to your challenge is that of nancy pelosi. it is a easy to laugh it away as a statement of an old lady but it's not it's the philosophical underpinning of not just the last five years get trump he's guilty find the evidence later but it is how they view the justice system guilty until proven innocent. >> greg: todd you were actually a lawyer. >> todd: so was will. >> greg: oh, that's right. >> will: not a real estate agent. >> todd: now the outfits make sense. we have a bar meeting after. >> greg: you look like two lawyers at a bar at the ritz-carlton after a convention and your wedding rings are missing. right? i nailed it kat. anyway, they pile on these 34 counts we don't know what's in the indictment tuesday it's hard to make conjecture on this stuff. is it it possible they charge him for every ledger entry? like that's one, that's two and it's all. >> todd: that's what's being reported all these different repayments but you touched upon the law part of it and i think that's what's so upsetting. to me this isn't about trump this is about the rule of law and when will and i went to law school it wasn't that long ago but it was probably around 20 years ago, we were in there with liberal conservative all manner of individuals and there was one common unifying theme we all believed in the law and what it could do. we knew the law wasn't perfect but we all believed this was the american system and it was better than any other. i would like to go to bed tonight and say that that is the case but if we're in a world where political prosecutions are allowed and allowed to go if you should and potentially lead to a victory for alvin bragg that is extremely concerning. and i know trump loves to throw that line out there if they can come for you they can come for you. that's real. remember, he was a president and look what they're doing. >> greg: that's true. i would like to go to bed with halle berry. tyrus, the last time we had a political witch hunt it was the impeachment and covid just had a two or three month head start. thinking about this week and we have all of these techno in other words telling us to worry about ai. >> tyrus: right. >> greg: and instead our entire media has to focus on this thing and i have a feeling that our robot overlords are smiling. >> tyrus: i mean -- i'm dying. they got me. [laughter]. >> tyrus: the one good thing is i guess we're pot seeing the face of the shooter so i guess that's nice. >> greg: that's true. >> tyrus: we stopped that party. but for me this just reaffirms my vote. like i'm for certain now that president trump was the third black president. very excited about that. and here is my case. he's got baby mamas. check. the da's always [bleep]ing with him. and they're arresting him for bl [bleep] that happened two years ago past the statute of limitations. so take the orange hair, get some corn rows. >> greg: that's why. >> tyrus: my brother, my brother. >> greg: do you think it will add to his street cred if he demands --. >> tyrus: oh, his street cred is beautiful. he's going to have to give -- free chains like this at trump tower. his street game is strong. >> greg: should he do a presser. so it's tuesday, they're going to walk him in. should he stop and do a press prosecutor. >> tyrus: he should do a presser the man ain't got nothing on me fight the power. >> greg: do the fist in the air? >> tyrus: yeah, do the whole thing. >> greg: yeah. amazing. so kat we talked about this last night, it's been 24 hours. any new thoughts, insights? do you think people are going crazy over this or not crazy enough? >> kat: well, i think that obviously on this channel there's a lot of people saying this is political, this is litical. but i think the best argument proven that it's political is all the other channels and everybody else. because anybody who is saying they're so glad to see this happen, they're not focused on this exact indictment or this exact issue. they always say oh, because trump is -- you know, january 6th or trump is a liar, trump is this, trump is that. which none of that really has anything to do in the eyes of the law with this specific issue. none of them are focusing on this specific except for maybe stormy which is personal for her and i can understand that. but i think to deny that it's political is political because this is an untested legal theory. it's a coincidence they're trying it on this guy? you're admitting there's all these things you hate about him and that's why they're trying it on this guy. so i just think that's a fact. >> greg: yeah. i think what we're seeing is a consistent pattern in targeting people. it's so funny, too, i know we've got to go but this week you saw matt taibbi on the left and trump on the right being targeted by the same engine and it shows you it is not left versus rightnessly it's inside versus outside, the establishment versus the renegade and i know my renegades. >> all right up next, he called himself ma'am to prove women's sports are a sham. make...? ...everyday products... ...designed smarter. like a smart coffee grinder - that orders fresh beans for you. oh, genius! for more breakthroughs like that... ...i need a breakthrough card... like ours! with 2.5% cash back on purchases of $5,000 or more... plus unlimited 2% cash back on all other purchases! and with greater spending potential, sam can keep making smart ideas... ...a brilliant reality! the new ink business premier card from chase for business. make more of what's yours. now adt professionally installs google nest products... cool. you're all set. so your home is safe and smart. we're gunna miss you. you can check in on your home. arm the system, we should go. manage your system from virtually anywhere. (thump) (scream) and get intelligent alerts, like when a package has arrived. - bye. have a good night. -boo! when the most trusted name in home security adds the intelligence of google, you have a home with no worries. brought to you by adt. >> greg: he set a record in the gym by temporarily being a her instead of a him. a male power lifter recently entered a women's event in canada and smashed the bench press record held by a trans athlete. but how, you ask, was a guy allowed to compete with women? turns out in canada, which fox has confirmed is a real place, their power lifting union allows athletes to sign up for any gendered event based on how they feel no questions asked. biden has a similar policy when it comes to hiring people in his administration. [cheers and applause] >> greg: i do like them, yeah. the bearded beef cake ovi silfverberg who is very much a man, identified as a woman to enter the competition. his goal was simple. show how unfair it is for biological males to compete against women and boy did he competing in the bench press silfverberg easily beat the old record by nearly 100 pounds which converts in canadien currency to one crate of maple syrup. several are held by a woman who used to be a man. this is that lifter. >> standard bench in power competition for women, i literally don't understand why it's so bad. my son, he weighs 45 pounds, his max bench is like 33. i'm legit seeing some women in competition who are doing something like 50 pounds, and i just don't understand it. >> greg: that person was actually there to watch "her" records get crushed. so ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, how does it feel? and so it proves an important point about women's sports. that maybe it's time to take the spotlight off biological men and put it back where it belongs. on lesbians. [laughter] [cheers and applause] >> greg: go lesbians! we are pro lesbian here. tyrus, as a weight lifter, how do stories like these make you feel? >> tyrus: i hate that he had to make that point but i'm glad that he did. and if i could just answer sweetheart's question, the reason why they only bench 50 pounds compared their body weight and stuff. because they're women. they're not built that way. >> greg: all about upper body strength. >> tyrus: but i hope this put on alarm, i hope this -- it might take a few of these situations where -- and' ironic because it turns out the best feminist in this situation is a power lifting alpha male. so thank you, sir, for your feminism and hopefully we have more men who go, you know what? you're not going to come in here. maybe we need a couple male swimmers, former olympic athletes, come over just for the meets that she's in just to level the playing field. >> greg: exactly. >> tyrus: i'm pretty sure she won't want to compete anymore because, just like when she competed at 80th place, if that's even a thing, and then hopped over. so maybe she'll hop back. >> greg: kat, you are obviously a fitness icon. [laughter] >> greg: you must have a message for canadian female power lifters everywhere. >> kat: they see me as an icon. >> greg: i'm sure they do. >> tyrus: she's wiry. >> greg: wiry. you hold a record just sitting on a bench >> kat: actually, actually when i was in high school gym, this is a true story in high school gym we did a weight lifting portion of gym class and they had to create a whole new like routine for me because i couldn't lift the bar up. >> greg: could you lift up a bar now like the basic bar? you probably couldn't >> kat: i don't think i've gotten stronger. i mean, i don't think i could. i don't want to try. i'm older now. >> greg: my break something >> kat: might pull something. >> greg: yes. >> kat: okay, so this beautiful lady beat the record of the other woman who was born a man. >> greg: right >> kat: who has the vagina record? >> greg: i don't know. that's a great point. >> kat: i kept waiting for it in the segment and this person with a vagina lifted this much. i think that should be more easily accessible information. and is that what they're going to have to call it the vagina lifter? >> tyrus: she just solved this whole problem. no, you did. because we could just change it. it's not gender. vagina stats, penis stats. seriously, take a bow >> kat: who is the number one canadian vagina lifter? you leading with this on fox and friends? >> will: i will lead with it at 6:00 a.m. on saturday but it's not going to work because this is a reality bending game based upon changing definitions. do you think they'll agree on what the definition of a vagina is? they will not. >> tyrus: i'm happy to tell them. >> will: i love that. the lifter that this lady beat, this dude, beat the other dude, the other dude --. >> tyrus: feminist. >> will: the other dude's been through the procedures all of them surgical, don't get me wrong not saying that makes him a woman but he's going to try to twist your standard whatever it is so that he can go win in whatever it is. >> greg: you know todd i'm really glad your parents weren't in the audience today. >> todd: vagina record? >> greg: yes. >> todd: i was worried you were going full screen to me with vagina record. >> greg: sound like something i play when i'm alone. put on the vagina record. [laughter] dam it. terrible. this is what happens. but you know what i like about it? i like pranks that have a little bit of wisdom or a prank that actually exposes kind of the absurdity of what's around. it's harmless but had knowledge. >> todd: i wouldn't go harmless i'm worried other people will see this and go this is an entree and we can do the same thing based upon the left's definitions of what constitutes a man and a woman. and my concern is this isn't just prizes there's money often attached to these competitions and will knows when you remove money out of a sport that sport will go away and my concern is women's sports will go away once you radio he move the money and as a father of two girls that worries me. i know i'm blowing a story of vagina records into something serious but as a father of two girls i'm worried theory sports could go away. >> greg: you're right. that was fun. all right give english a chance says jd vance. - huh? what, that? no, don't worry about that. here we go. - asking the right question can greatly impact your future. - are, are you qualified to do this? - what? - especially when it comes to your finances. - yeehaw! - do you have a question? - are you a certified financial planner™? - yes. i'm a cfp® professional. - cfp® professionals are committed to acting in your best interest. that's why it's gotta be a cfp®. find your cfp® professional at letsmakeaplan.org. >> greg: might we soon be done with for english press one? or is it government overreach to mandate english for government speech >> republican senator jd vance introduced a bill on thursday that would make english the official language of the united states. ironically he had to write the bill in nine different languages. yes, i was just as shocked as you are to learn that english isn't already the official language. or was that the electrodes attached to my nipples? why did i leave that line in there? the english language unity act would also require official government functions like public proceedings to be in english. and an english language test for immigrants to become naturalized as citizens, most countries have official languages and most us states have english as theirs. sadly some instiff on speaking their own language. >> america's a nation that can be designed in a single world. afutuffuf >> greg: todd, do you think we need this? i mean, we just talked about, in a topic, people, media, politicians can't even decide what a woman is. how are we going to agree to an official language? that's going to cause civil war at this point. >> todd: the left also likes to make up their own words. usually they're made up in english we have our own assisted currencies and standards on the road we could have assisted language. this is an electoral power move by jd vance he's going to put this to a vote on the senate floor and it will force in very and ohio and montana in tight districts that lean republican to basically say we don't think english should be the language of our country, i'm looking at you joe man chen and jon tester and whoever runs in ohio, it's going to put them in a really precarious spot for them to say english should not be the language of our country if they're forceded to vote with the democrats on this. >> greg: very clever. kat in the green room you said it's about freaking time. speak english or get the [bleep] country. and then you spilled a cup of scalding hot coffee on that immigrant housekeeper. she's still in the hospital >> kat: only the second part is true. i have to say obviously this is a political thing. this is not like the top of my list of things and i say that as someone who loves the english language i'm obsessed with the english lambing, i like to speak the english language like to get compliments in the english language. but there's different provisions that immigrants need to learn it to become citizens. i think you should be able to come here and speak whatever language as long as you can like pay for your own stuff. that to me is important. i'm more focused on the economy and how much money the government takes from me than i am for this but it is definitely something that's going to fire up the base. >> greg: if it wasn't for the fact that we p different languages we probably wouldn't have so many wars. i think it's always about people not understanding each other. that's why dogs never get in wars. you know? did you ever notice that? >> kat: did you ever hear of dogs fighting. >> it's also why they can't take over because they can't communicate with each other. >> greg: do you remember espeare, nto? anybody? audience? thank you. have her taken out. esperanto was a universal constructed language pushed by william shatner who actually made a movie in all espeare, anto called inching bus. roll it. [speaking foreign language] >> greg: she's beautiful. will, i just wanted to play that. >> will: that's awesome. i never heard of that. >> greg: you don't know it >> will: no. >> greg: there's albums books and maybe 30 thousand people. >> will: just invented his own language. >> greg: yeah. he didn't do it. >> will: he should have. you have to have basic level communication that's a base level civilization. it's not a government overreach for jd vance. don't go half way english is the oh fish language let as rename it american. really upset the english. it's our language now. >> greg: wow. tyrus, this guy with the hair has a point, we should have a more official thing. we should have the official leather short pants >> kat: yeah, that's exactly what he was saying. >> greg: that's exactly what will was saying. >> tyrus: thank you for that brilliant point. >> greg: anyway, a lot of official things. we have official flowers, right, the state has an official flower, they have like an official bird. like why not have an official language? and an official pair of leather pants? >> exactly tyrus. >> greg: yeah, will. >> tyrus: no, no, no, no, you brought this dance. leave will out of it. i will a let will go home to his family. gus will love again. no, you know what? i agree with this. it should be. for no other reason than across the world what they consider the dumb language, the easiest language to speak, is english. it's like everyone speaks english. like when you go to other countries and stuff they'll say what's your language in american. you're like english. no everyone speaks english. you can make it american because if you go to england they say we don't speak english we speak trash american jive talk which is a point of pride. so to will's point we speak american not that english tea-sipping [bleep] >> will: correct. [cheers and applause] >> greg: this is a great idea, jd vance should change it to american and not english. i'd persuade it. you don't want to end up like canada they don't even have a language. you know how they communicate? by blinking. >> you've got to get it. >> todd: and by vagina records. you're welcome mom. >> greg: all right. coming up tales from their towns that won't make you frown. ♪ remember the things you loved doing... before your asthma got in the way? get back to the things you love... with fasenra. fasenra is an add-on treatment for eosinophilic asthma. having too many eosinophils, a type of white blood cell, can cause inflammation and asthma symptoms. fasenra is designed to target and remove eosinophils and helps prevent asthma attacks. fasenra is 1 dose every 8 weeks. fasenra can help patients to breathe better. most patients did not have an asthma attack in the first year. and fasenra helps lower the use of oral steroids. fasenra is not for sudden breathing problems or other eosinophilic conditions. allergic reactions may occur. don't stop your asthma treatments without talking with your doctor. tell your doctor if your asthma worsens. headache and sore throat may occur. tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection. get back to better breathing. and get back to your life. ask your doctor about fasenra. if you can't afford your medication, astrazeneca may be able to help. this is eargo. they automatically enhance your hearing wherever you are. ours comes with buttons on the back so you can fiddle around to your heart's content. like the eighties all over again. cool, right? >> coast to coast with stories that matter most. you're watching local news with nine-time emmy award winner chet van jansen. and now here's chet. >> greg: yeah. it's local news. a segment where each guest has to share a real news story from wherever they're from and then i vote on the winner and that person gets a chance to inspect michael moore's moles. that's delicious. all right, todd, you go first. >> todd: breathe easy jonathan the husky will be able to attend the final four after all. initially jonathan husky was not allowed to fly on the plane because he was too big to fit underneath the seat which we all know is your preferred form of travel. pr exec who is a u-conn fan contacted delta so now he gets to sit in a seat with a harness and traveling to the final four. also in attendance at this game will be the u-conn head coach who reports say has worn the same dragon 'em blazed bookers for every game of the tournament so far he will continue to wear them saturday when the team u-conn huskies plays the miami hurricanes. their coach jim laganella will be going commando and i believe we have an image of it. there we go [cheers and applause] >> greg: why boxers? i mean --. >> tyrus: that's what you got out of that story? >> greg: yes. >> todd: that's the take away. >> tyrus: what is in that coffee mug. >> greg: why not pick something that's not so close to uranus. >> todd: i asked your team to blur out the crotch of miami coach jim laganella and you focus on dan hurley's boxers. >> greg: i think it's weird -- a typical guy. that's the excuse why i'm not changing my boxers. come up with something more creative. kat, what's going on in michigan? >> kat: okay, not much. so i'm not from cleveland, but i decided to pretend to be from cleveland because this bus driver is no longer a bus driver after this. >> greg: why, what happened? >> kat: we have a video, yeah. i'm sick of you i'm sick of all of this [bleep] i'm done with it. emma going to start kicking some serious [bleep]. do you hear me? >> yes. >> my butt's going to be so far up your [bleep] it's going to [bleep]. i'm done with you. >> greg: tell me, what happened? who is this? what's going on >> kat: to be clear that was a school bus driver, no longer. but i think that she has like a career elsewhere, you know? it's not like no -- like everyone always doesn't feel that way around kids. >> greg: sometimes the school bus driver needs to snap. you need to snap just to let the kids know there's a possibility you might get murdered by an old man or old >> kat: woman i think there's a career here for this person start a youtube channel or offer videos to yell at people's kids for them. >> greg: yes. >> kat: don't waste this opportunity it's not a failure unless you don't learn from it and create. >> greg: will? >> will: yeah, so you mentioned in the green room you're glad you have men around you otherwise you wouldn't know when it starts, sports. it started. yesterday's opening day in baseball. i went to globe life in arlington texas for the texas rangers and they have a new menu out make local news,le' let you pick between the three new items on the menu. how about flaming hot cheetos pretzels, pretzels covered in cheat 0 dust, flaming hot. not my thing. i went for the brings croissant sadly it was sold out like i am. then the boomstick burger two feet long filled with nolan ryan beef instead of hotdog. what todd? that's a direct quote, todd. it's nolan ryan beef, two feet worth. it's burger instead of hotdog topped by chili cheese onion rings and jalapenos >> greg: jesus. >> tyrus: that and your vagina record, you're going to have a good time. >> greg: how about bathrooms do they have in that stadium? >> will: a lot and not lines very civilized. >> greg: that's interesting because a lot of that stuff would go right through me. >> will: yeah. so what do you pick? >> greg: i'd definitely go with the burger. i would shove that down my throat so fast. >> will: as opposed to two feet of nolan ryan. >> greg: i want two feet of nolan ryan's meat right down my throat. i might not even chew. . >> tyrus: it's my fault. >> greg: tyrus? tyrus? >> tyrus: send your hate tweets to me, america. well, this one in boston this made me think of kat. so there are no boston markets in boston. >> greg: oh, wow. >> tyrus: so if you're looking for rotisserie chicken and remnants of thanksgiving, do not look in boston for boston markets. you have to go to the outskirts of boston to go to as about ton market and i'm going to say probably not take that trip. >> greg: why's it called boston >> kat: the company is so lost without me. >> tyrus: little asterisk kat used to work at boston >> kat: yes i did. >> tyrus: so you won because they are out of boston. >> greg: there she is. [cheers and applause] >> greg: didn't you tell me once -- how old are you in that picture? >> kat: 21 years snead that the manager used to hit on you all the team? >> kat: that was at my pizza and grinder shop job. i was only 16 then. >> greg: you look crazy >> kat: how would you feel riding your bike to your job at boston market after you graduated college? [laughter] >> kat: it was real touch and go for a while. >> greg: but now you're here >> kat: yep. >> greg: if only that person there knew that. i don't know. up next is this donor a die monday for sharing too much what the hell everyday can help. metamucil's psyllium fiber gels to trap and remove the waste that weighs you down and also helps lower cholesterol and slows sugar absorption to promote healthy blood sugar levels. so you can feel lighter and more energetic. lighten every day the metamucil way. and metamucil's psyllium fiber also comes in easy to take capsules. scout is protected by simparica trio, and he's in it to win it. simparica trio is the first and only chew with triple protection. oh, fleas and ticks ♪ intestinal worms... wow heartworm disease, no problem with simarica trio. this drug class has been associated with neurologic adverse reactions including seizures. use with caution in dogs with a history of these disorders. for winning protection. go with simparica trio. ♪ well, the stock is bubbling in the pot ♪ ♪ just till they taste what we've got ♪ [ tires squeal, crash ] when owning a small business gets real, progressive gets you right back to living the dream. now, where were we? [ cheering ] ♪ >> a story in five words ♪ >> greg: five words. sperm donor fathers over 500. all right, todd. >> tyrus: thank god >> greg: i almost went to you tyrus. >> tyrus: i felt it coming. >> greg: so a sperm donor in the netherlands fathered over 500 children and i always thought there were some limits to this because you don't want to have a complete stranger marrying a complete stranger and find out they're brother and sister. what say you? >> todd: you think that guy's prolific you should see will cain a wednesday afternoon let me tell you. >> greg: that's what you have written down there i that's what i have written down. >> greg: that's a joke? >> todd: all right forget it. i meant hegseth. i mean rachel cam post duffy. to your point there is a legitimate concern, the concern is half brothers of this guy will be meeting half sisters of this guy which, from what i've been told by your producers is the main search on your online history. >> greg: it actually is. >> todd: actually is. and final joke that is not going to work because the other two didn't we have one of these in our country, he's called nick cannon. good night everybody. >> greg: there you go. should have led with that one you pervert. will, what if this guy's a real jerk? you know what i mean, he's just pumping out jerks. he's like genghis khan of jerks? >> will: you done? >> greg: yes. >> will: 500? >> greg: i told you. >> todd: that's a wednesday for cain over here. >> will: is this norway. >> greg: yeah. >> will: is it a local problem or international problem? >> greg: 500 kids is nationally and internationally. the mother have one of his kids filed a lawsuit asking the dutch court to prevent him from donating in the future. >> will: i read there was a limit, supposed to be 25, it's found in upon but not illegal to go over. i did the math by the way when they said how much you get per donation. he's made, you know, a good 5-10 grand off this. >> greg: that's a lot of work >> kat: that's what confuses me i'm very confused about this because who is this man who apparently that many people are like, yeah, knock me up. >> greg: yeah. >> kat: but he's also in a position where he needs that money, like he can't get a job. so like is he like really hot and tall but unemployed? >> greg: what's tall got to do with it? >> kat: well... >> greg: last word tyrus. >> tyrus: okay, me and some be my football buddies were approached one time by a guy who was trying to get us to donate because we could make a lot of money because what you do is fill out your profile with stats so when families with women go to look for the frozen popsicle they'll look at the stats. so it's like tall light-skinned genetics, tall, muscular, smart. and they pick it. but here's the thing. nobody ever background checks you when you fill it out. so this guy could have just had an amazing resume but it could really be you. [laughter] [cheers and applause] >> greg: well this has been a deeply hurtful show. [laughter] >> greg: wow. 500, huh? >> will:. >> will: 496 to go. >> greg: just sell you my shower curtain. don't go away we'll be right back. the new chase ink business premier card is made for people like sam who make...? ...everyday products... ...designed smarter. like a smart coffee grinder - that orders fresh beans for you. oh, genius! for more breakthroughs like that... ...i need a breakthrough card... like ours! with 2.5% cash back on purchases of $5,000 or more... plus unlimited 2% cash back on all other purchases! and with greater spending potential, sam can keep making smart ideas... ...a brilliant reality! the new ink business premier card from chase for business. make more of what's yours. to finally lose 80 pounds and keep it off with golo is amazing. i've been maintaining. the weight is gone and it's never coming back. with golo, i've not only kept off the weight but i'm happier, i'm healthier, and i have a new lease on life. golo is the only thing that will let you lose weight and keep it off. who loses 138 pounds in nine months? i did! golo's a lifestyle change and you make the change and it stays off. (soft music) i'm kevin corke -- i'm kevin corke in washington. breaking tonight, another strin of violent tornado triggering storms across several states. this justin, reports of fault injuries. and we begin to date with the indictment of donald trump in fox news has confirmed that he was tu