Transcripts For CURRENT Liberally Stephanie Miller 20130805

Stephanie you let down the team. Are we going to get one of those awkward letters from you . One of those awkward phone calls . Stephanie i told her that our teacher, one of our favorite teachers called us booboos in class and thats mine and jackis thing. She calls me booboo. She stole that from us. Or not. Were going to pretend. Stephanie this is television packing material. It is all awkward. Stephanie good morning. So effective and important to everybody else. Good morning, everybody. Congress now in recess for the next five weeks and senators john mccain and Lindsey Graham are traveling to egypt at the president s request. Theyre planning to meet with the Nations Interim leadership and try to nudge the nation back into an effective democratic process. The military cant keep running the cub. The brotherhood needs to get back into the political arena and fight your differences there and we need to put egypt back to work. If this continues, it is going to be a failed state. Thats why were going. Senator graham adds he would like the u. S. To be able to send aid to egypt but if we define whats going on there as a military coup, many would argue it is, we have to legally cut off some 1. 3 billion in aid. More than do u. S. Embassies and consulates around the world will stay closed through saturday due to online chatter indicating a possible terror threat. The diplomatics facilities closed yesterday. Alqaeda or its allies may be targeting u. S. Or western interests. Lawmakers are saying that evidence indicates this threat is one of the most dire since 911 and intercepted communication points to a major attack in the works. Other western nations are also taking precautions. Britain and germany are closing down their embassies. They were closed yesterday in yemen. Theyll stay closed today. France also extending its closure through wednesday. Interpol has put out a Global Security warning pointing to alqaedas involvement and recent prison escapes in iraq, libya and pakistan. Were back after the break. Did anyone tell the pilgrims they should selfdeport . No, they said make us a turkey and make it fast. laughter . Laughing. Thats the best thats hilarious. And the thinkers thinking. Okay, so there is wiggle room in the Ten Commandments is what youre telling me. Shes joy behar. Ya, i consider you jewtalian. Okay, whatever you want. Who plays kafka . Who saw kafka . Who ever saw kafka . laughter . Asking the tough questions. Chris brown, i mean you wouldnt let one of your daughters go out with him. Absolutely not. You would rather deal with ahmadinejad then me . Absolutely singing i take lipitor, thats it. Are you improving your lips . laughter . When shes talking, you never know where the conversation is going to go. It looks like Anthony Wiener is throwing his hat in the ring. His what in the ring . His hat. Always outspoken, joy behar. And the best part is that current will let me say anything. What the hell were they thinking . Only on current tv. Its a Beautiful Day dont let it get away stephanie it is the Stephanie Miller show. Welcome to it. Six minutes after the hour. 1800steph12 the phone number. Comedienne Kathleen Madigan staggering up stairs presumably somewhere, wandering aimlessly but not looking for cigarettes. Shes quit. Although im going to guess, hungover. Shes been known to have a cocktail or two. Stephanie comedians, late night people. Very early here. It is technically stupid oclock. It is six minutes after stupid. Stephanie we have a big show that may explode. We have our usual rude pundit and Eric Boehlert. We have alqaeda chatter. Because hes a member of the House Intelligence Committee. Stephanie you and i much better than the house herp derp committee. Michele bachmann. [ laughter ] stephanie until she leaves then it will be taken over by louie gohmert. Or marsha blackburn. Stephanie exactly. And their friends in the doi professional caucus. Which we did he go . Which way did he go . Stephanie okay. Our point is chris, you and i were talking about this. Jim, you and i have talked about this. I admit to some partisan bias. When adam schiff says something, i tend to trust him, not just because hes on my side of the aisle and hes my congressman from right there in burbank. Throw a rock. And hit his office. Stephanie you hear Saxby Chambliss on meet the press and hes a republican. He said that chatter is as bad as before 911. You know, when he says Something Like that, to me, thats a big tummy rub for the nsa program. Stephanie i know. But then i cant help when i hear people that i trust whethe it is al franken or Dianne Feinstein, if we get hit again because of that tool, rand paul, say goodbye to all of our Civil Liberties. And i include Glen Greenwald in that jack a lope. Jim, youre sometimes on the side of this, i understand. Thats the piece i was thinking. I think it might have been tomasky. Talking about this. Thats what he really fears is that if we get hit again, forget any of our Civil Liberties. Thats why i think there has to be a balance between, you know, this nsa stuff and security. And i know i will get more letters calling me a neocon. Jim, you have to believe there are terrorists throughout that want to kill us. Sure. Stephanie little disconcerting there are the prison breaks, alqaeda people everywhere and anniversary of 911 is coming up this sunday. The end of ramadan. I think there is a reason. A month from sunday. Stephanie right. There was some reason they thought yesterday might have been a target. It obviously wasnt. Were going to talk to adam schiff. He cant tell us everything or he would have to kill us but hell talk to us in hour number three about what is actually happening. Look, everybody, Kathleen Madigan staggers in. There she is right on time. Good morning, precious. Look at her whispering like no one can see her on tv. Creep in late like its Catholic School again. Good morning, precious pumpkin. Let her get situated. I stayed up late watching shark week. I wont deny it. Shark week wasnt on cbs was it . No. What is sharknado week . Stephanie our listeners, the smartest people in the world. They know we can pitch things. We were the big fans of the sharknado. The movie. Yes, i know of it. I havent seen it. Stephanie this is edward has dolphinado. A tornado filled with horny dolphins. Because theyre a little rapey. I saw. There is a new article well, they say when you swim with dolphins youre asking for it. Stephanie you know you want it. Might as well be bent over a pinball machine. Assuming a pinball machine can float. Dont make love. Stephanie that would be something for dolphinado. Why are you not on americas got talent. Americas got mouth noise. Stephanie good morning, Kathleen Madigan. Were so happy to have you here. Im very happy to be here. I here iterrized you had i theorized you had stopped for cigarettes and i realized you quit. I quit. [ magic wand ] i quit three and a half years ago. It was hard. But im not happy about it. When people go congratulations like i had a baby that i like. I dont dont you feel better . No, i dont. Im crabby. Ive gained five pounds. Get outta here im not happy about it. And then i went to the Lucille Ball Museum and she smoked until she was 78. I was like see . Stephanie are you going to start again . You cant show me things like that. Winston churchill lived on brandy and cigars and lived to be 96. Back then, cigarettes were at a half cent apiece. Stephanie cheaper to get cancer. Hell of a lot cheaper to get cancer. The people go smokings expensive. It depends on how you look at it. Yeah, theyre 10 a pack but theres do in the pack so it is only 50 cents apiece. If someone followed you around with a tray of lobster on toothpicks and every 45 minutes they nudge you, you want one . 50 cents. No problem. Break it down into pleasure and what do you love . Stephanie how long has it been . January, whenever i got my tooth pulled. Stephanie tell us the story again. There was a cautionary tale as to why you quit. Well, this is the problem with the irish. We only respond to immediate threats. You realize that. Longterm threats, whatever stephanie has to be a shell ailey of threat. In my face, if you smoke after you get these i had two teeth pulled and bone graphs, they said a blood clot will form and then explode in your mouth and i said and how long would that take . And he said within 48 hours and it scared me the cancer didnt bother me. A stroke, whatever. I can write with both hands. Ive got it covered. Dont even need to go to rehab. But the idea of a blood clot bursting and then you have to redo it all. I hate i have more fear of the dentist than anything on ert ert earth so thats what did it. Dry socket. It happened to him and he was a smoker. He said whatever you do, dont smoke . I said how many not smoke . What do you mean by that, patrick . He was like no, i mean none i got it because i didnt listen either. Its horrible. He got dry socket. Stephanie Kathleen Madigan, you travel quite a bit. [ nbc nightly news ] because youre not generally awake yet. Im awake this morning though. Stephanie road warrior comedienne extraordinaire, saying no matter how bad maybe not as bad as dry socket but this is pretty bad. Qantas flight from australia becomes poop plane from hell. A qantas flight from santiago to australia, thats 36 hours, everybody pooped for 13 hours in a near constant stream. Came down with a stomach flu. The infected passengers were not just stricken with diarrhea, they were vomiting horribly. The entire flight. [farting sounds] im never flying again. Stephanie they have parachutes. [vomiting sounds] Stephanie Hal sparks told us that one flight was so bad, turbulence was so bad, every Single Person in the flight vomited except one guy who pooped his pants but thats the entire plane. For 13 hours. No place to stoop. Ha i hawaii. Theres 300 to 500 people in a pencil and were we have no bouncer. I always think that, would you have a bar open with 500 people and have no cops . Theres no one to call. If someone goes crazy, it is a free for all. It is literally a free for all. Roadhouse and no Patrick Swayze to help anybody. Stephanie it is dolphinado. In the air. Thats what that is. And then now, if you look at airline, there is little chance you have landing gear. Well, yeah. Tails first or right on the nose wheel. Those are your options. Dive into la guardia, you might want to buckle up. I dont really know what im doing. Im the first guy. Prepare for weird. Prepare for weird. Stephanie there is some chance you may get run over by an Emergency Vehicle even if you should survive. [ buzzer ] hey, im going to try something fun. Im going to land right on the nose wheel. Oh, that didnt go so well. Stephanie famous last words, hey check this out. Southwest can say we cant crash. We just had a weird landing. Theyre the ones who say we didnt crash. We just didnt land it right. Big difference. In a court of law, the lawsuit is very different lawsuit. If youre dead from the crash, you just got a little scared and freaked out. Stephanie all right. Were going to pause briefly while Kathleen Madigan sucks whatever that adult lineation through that giant green straw. It is iced coffee. Stephanie as she gets nestled in for all three hours with us. 17 minutes after the hour. Right back on the Stephanie Miller show. Announcer for a good time, call now, 1800steph12. You must be high. Viewpoint digs deep into the issues of the day. Do you think there is any chance well ever hear the president even say the word with an opened mind. Has the time finally come for real Immigration Reform . And a distinctly satirical point of view. But you mentioned great leadership so i want to talk about donald rumsfeld. laughter cutting throught the clutter of todays top stories. This is the savior of the Republican Party . I mean really . With a unique perspective. Teddy rosevelt was a weak asmatic kid who never played sports until he was a grown up. laughter . And lots of fancy buzz words. Family values, speding, liberty, economic freedom, hardworking moms, crushing debt, cute little puppies. If Wayne Lapierre can make up stuff that sounds logical while making no sense. Hey, so can i. Once again friends, this is live tv and sometimes these things happen. Watch the show. Only on current tv. Current tv is the place for true stories. With Award Winning documentaries that take you inside the headlines. Real, gripping, current. Documentaries. On current tv. What you gonna do with all that junk inside your trunk im gonna get you drunk my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump my lovely little lump Stephanie Miller. Check it out. Stephanie i can help you with that. 21 minutes after the hour. 1800steph12 the phone number toll free from anywhere. Look at that shy little girl hiding behind the microphone, it is Kathleen Madigan. [ magic wand ] all three hours. What a little comedy treat. At this hour. Stephanie it is so rare because youre on the road so much. It is like a comedy sass squash sighting sasquatch sighting. Stephanie yesterday, i was at a league for dog show. I saw judy at the playhouse. Too much female comedy. Female funny all in one [ explosion ] it is like female comic dry socket. I might explode. If im exposed. I was in jamestown, new york at the lucy fest where they celebrate lucille ball and a lot of crazy people come dressed like lucy. Men and women. From like asia. Really . Theyre making the haul. It is like graceland to them. It really is. Stephanie wow. I was doing what we would do in Catholic School. I was showing you dirty things during the commercial break. It is in horrible taste and paul who sent it to me is a horrible man. It is a picture of a building it says turrets research institute. It says fing c word. It has turrets on the top. Thats bad, paul. Dont send me things like that. Oh, by the way, here is a lovely thing. I also get love emails. We had a gal that called in friday who broke everybodys heart. Marie has been out of work im sorry, shes a trucking dispatcher and anyway, their work has really shrunk and her husband is having health stuff. It was heartbreaking. She couldnt find work and anyway, there was someone who lives in her area whos helping her. A woman from san antonio called friday, rolen, steph, marie got in touch with me. Ive will already put her in touch with my husband to help her get help. Great job to you and your staff to get them connected. Her husband works on a Trucking Company in her area. There you go. It is like the angel network. I just made that up. I dont know it if it is the real thing. Stephanie every time a Stephanie Miller listener gets a job, an angel gets her wings. But that doesnt matter now because terrorists will kill us all. Were having representative adam schiff on the House Intelligence Committee in hour number three today because he was all over the sunday shows and i was saying, some partisan bias. I think the worst thing dick cheney and the Bush Administration did to us is they made us skeptical of any kind of intelligence, right. Theyre just lying to get us into a war. Theyre trying to scare us. But you know, when al franken and Dianne Feinstein o and adam schiff say the chatter is bad right now. There are all of the prison breaks with a lot of alqaeda guys that escaped. Nobody said a whole lot about that. Im like really . Because after all u. S. O. , ive been to baghdad 100 times. Its not getting any better. I voted for obama. I get it. But what are we i just say get out. Run away. Even all of the terror warnings now, im like ive never going there. I dont care. Never going there. Dont care. Nobodys saying cincinnati. Stephanie chance youll be the head of the chiefs. I was friend with him and he was nice. I dont have any i dont understand observational humor in the sudans. Im not slapsticky enough. Im surprised tom sobel didnt book it. I dont understand why were being told this. Thats my question. Why are we stephanie thats what chris said. Is this like a belly rub for the nsa program . Looks how dangerous were in a dangerous world. Nsa program just had a bit of bad p. R. Stephanie and yet, you know, we do have terrorists that want to kill us. Thats what im saying. Wheres the balance between Civil Liberties and security . You know. Us is the people who the 28 people who have taken embassy jobs and theyre getting triple the pay to be in danger. So everybody gets that, too. Somebody died at our emwasy in at our embassy in cairo, you tooth took the gig. You got you took the gig. Im sorry. Give the money back. Stephanie they closed all of the embassies. Theyre still closed. Stephanie there is some credible threat there would be something yesterday. From Northern Africa through the middle east. More places i dont have gigs. Am i selfish . Stephanie it is a little me oriented, kathleen. We could get hit here in the homeland. Well, if its to pet the belly of the nsa and we get attacked here, then they look triple as bad. Stephanie is there a yuck yuck . I think is go bananas. Stephanie general martin deaf is i who is chief chairman who kathleen has no chance of replacing. It is an alqaeda affiliated threat. It is of the alqaeda branch. He intends to attack western, not just u. S. Interests. Stephanie it is alqaedaish. I havent heard that word used in homeland so i dont buy it. Until its in homeland, i dont buy it. Until claire danes says it it is alqaedaish with her crazy eyes, then i believe it. Stephanie here is me oriented. She would make a me face. Stephanie remember we did washington, d. C. Sexy liberal, guess who asked for tickets, Mandy Patinkin because he said the whole cast fans and no way stephanie hi, claire. I saw the parody of it before i ever saw the actual show. Oh, okay, thats what theyre that makes me anxious but dexter doesnt. I have no problem with dexter is so lovable. Stephanie i understand you shot a man at the yuck yucks once just to watch him die. I did then i kicked open a door. Stephanie and chopped him up. I have a friend who is in a virtual shes in a virtual panic she couldnt watch dexter last night. The timewarner thing. Stephanie they dropped showtime now. It could be months. Stephanie ironically, a lot of people may kill someone because they cant watch dexter. I hope bad things start happening because i need it back, too. Stephanie i hope you feel good about it. It is the final season. If somebody besides me that liked golf was under the age of 75, we would all get out of our chairs but it is just me and a bunch of 75yearold white guys angry about this. Stephanie more Kathleen Madigan on the Stephanie Miller show. You must be high. I think the number one thing that viewers like about the young turks is that were honest. I think the audience gets that i actually mean it. Youre putting out there something that youre proud of. Journalists want the the story and they want the right story and the want the true story. You can say anything here. I spent a couple of hours with a hooker. Your mistake was writing a check. She never cashed it the war room. Compared to other countries with tighter gun safety laws, our death toll is just staggering. The young turks. The top bankers who funneled all the money to the drug lords, no sentence. Theres just no justice in that. Viewpoint. Carl rove said today that mitt romney is a lock to win next pope. Hes garunteeing it. Joy behar say anything. Is the bottom line then that no white person should ever, ever, ever use the n word . Yes only on current tv. Did anyone tell the pilgrims they should selfdeport . No, they said make us a turkey and make it fast. laughter . She gets the comedians laughing. Thats the best thats hilarious. And the thinkers thinking. Okay, so there is wiggle room in the Ten Commandments is what youre telling me. Shes joy behar. Ya, i consider you jewtalian. Okay, whatever you want. Who plays kafka . Who saw kafka . Who ever saw kafka . laughter . Asking the tough questions. Chris brown, i mean you wouldnt let one of your daughters go out with him. Absolutely not. You would rather deal with ahmadinejad then me . Absolutely singing i take lipitor, thats it. Are you improving your lips . laughter . When shes talking, you never know where the conversation is going to go. It looks like Anthony Wiener is throwing his hat in the ring. His what in the ring . His hat. Always outspoken, joy behar. And the best part is that current will let me say thinking . Only on current tv. A news report from Stephanie Miller. We havent had one of those since they canceled passions. This should be good. Stephanie Stephanie Miller newscast starring Kathleen Madigan today. All three hours, live in studio. Hooray. And also the rude pundit ooh papa, papa, Papa Stephanie good morning, papa. Good morning and good morning to kathleen. Morning. Stephanie a lot of funny all in one place. So weirdness, lets rudeness, thanks for snowden, now go [ bleep ] yourself. Youre saying just another chapter in the story of russia trying to maintain the sovietsized hardon for a cold war. Can we say that on the air . We did. Yes, well, you know. I think its fine. Yeah, im making fcc judgments for you. Sure, sure. Yeah, you know, those of us that actually support snowden and what he did, think that okay, cool, you know. Thats great that even though this is just putin is doing this is just another in an ongoing comparison of penis sizes with president obama, that sure, this is fine. However stephanie see we part ways there because i think hes a jackalope. You think whos a jackalope . Stephanie snowden. Snowden is a jackalope. Hes a myth. You only see him every now and then . Stephanie no. I think even Bradley Manning and people talk about look, you cant release that volume of stuff and just say oh, its okay. If he had just released the video, you know, of the anyway, lets not get on a sidetrack. My point is lets stay happy here. Happy clappy. The kids will hide under the table. It will be terrible. Stephanie lets talk about the gay thing because obviously thats going to be a thing during the olympics as they say. You say, in other words, russia has no law against being gay. It has been a lot harder to exist as an lgbt person there and there have been mixed signals as to whether the law will be enforced during the olympics. The sports minister said yeah and the other guy you said he said hells yeah, were arresting queers. You said in a redneck russian accent . Yes. It is a translation of the kind of thing. By the way, can i pause here and say sports minister . Really . Theres a sport minister over there . We dont have that and we have every kind of administrative position possible. I wish we did. I would vote for a sports minister. Theres a lot of things going on that are out of control. Would it be somebody that oversaw everything . They would be above the commissioner of baseball . Yes. My father is available right now. [ laughter ] stephanie talk arod, some sense. Why does he go et to play during a suspension . The minister comes in and says no stephanie thats where kathleens dad comes in. He was a judge. He could do it. A sports commander in chief. We need it. Then you would have to understand lacrosse. Stephanie which who does . Nobody. It would actually be something that would get people to vote if they thought that appointing the sports minister was part of the deal. It would be talked about on sports radio add nauseam then sports guys like lists. Name me top three people for sports minister right now. Thats it. Give them something to talk about all year, every day for an hour. Stephanie dan would be aroused forever. [ laughter ] rude, i did not know this. The antigay propaganda law supported bies 88 of the russian people. They passed several laws already that again, not outlawing gay and lesbian behavior, whatever that means and however, you know, outlawing any adoption, even by gay and lesbian couples from outside of russia. Outlawing the adoption of russian children. And then outlawing any essentially any public display of gay pride. Because you know, you can get arrested for wearing, you know, gay pride button because you know, the children. Stephanie because something blah blah blah, the children. Well see how this plays out, right . I think some human rights organizations have written to john kerry to say you know, are gay people going to be protected basically . Right. There has already been members of congress that have said this is ridiculous. We need a guarantee here. And you know, i think the figure skaters in particular need a guarantee. Stephanie what are you referring . I dont know. I dont think im inferring anything hes not stated clearly. Stephanie a good piece about the relative douche nozzlery of ted cruz. I had not heard this anecdote. He went on a bonding experience with fellow princeton students. Someone said cruz was such an unrepentant [ bleep ] head that several people discussed ditching him in the woods. Yeah. This was actually told to me. This is not nothing this was told to me by a princeton student who was there at the time. And you know, it is anen he can dote. Can be hypocritical but it sure makes sense that you would go on a trip with ted cruz and he would try to convince you to do all kinds of stupid things and you know, like hey, lets just lets just row this boat over the waterfall because you know, down below, theres i dont know, theres money. Stephanie well, as you were saying, there are several members of the senate as he calls it, surrender caucus that would like to ditch him in the woods currently, right . Right, right. Hes just making all kinds of trouble for them. It is him and rand paul calling out, calling the traditional republicans wimps and you know, this is their frankenstein monster though. Theyre the ones that went over to the tea party fire, just started fanning those flames and then all have a sudden, they created these candidates that got elected and sorry, you know, maybe we need if you guys want to turn into the villagers now, fine. Set them on fire. Man, i went far with that metaphor, didnt i . Stephanie you really did. I dont know where you were going. I was going to tell the whole story of the frankenstein movie right there. We were going to the castle. Stephanie i was in the backseat, all right, is that where were going . Heres the thing. I suppose on our side, we should be cheering for this because you know, obviously shutting down the government a, would not stop obamacare and b, it would be a p. R. Disaster for the Republican Party. I guess we should hope they follow ted cruz on this. Sure. You know, even its dividing republicans, too, which is more fun to watch. Even Scott Friggin walker came out and said no, dont shut down the government. You know. I think somebody said how much blood is going to be spilled just to try to get rid of obamacare. Yeah, theres this is the step too far. And but you know, now i love it. I actually said something kind of nice not nice but said that Newt Gingrich was at least honorable in his intentions. But now stephanie not toward any of his wives. Right. But about shutting down the government. He was like screw you guys, im shutting down the government. Ted cruz was being weaselly about it saying if the government shuts down, it is obamas fault because he wont sign on to defunding his signature initiative. Stephanie why are you hitting yourself, obama. Why are you hitting yourself . Now, gingrich said no, no, i support cruz. I support rand paul. It is good to know that at the end of the day, you know, Newt Gingrich is still just a wow, i cant think of a word that doesnt involve something i cant say. Stephanie exactly. Somehow the fcc breaks one on there. We appreciate. So rand paul, his fellow tea party douche nozzle, i just one of my favorite sentences and ill have to bleat my bleep rand paul looks like hes had enough weed at the frat house to agree to [ bleep ] the goats mascot for do. Has continued to war with the establishment in this party. This is one of the best man fights ever between him and Chris Christie, right . It is. I love that what was it . Paul said lets sit down for a beer and christie said go f yourself. Im not sitting down with a beer with you, weirdo from the south. You know, i totally smoke a bowl with him. I think the stuff that he would come up with while you were smoking with him, he would be off on all kinds of carlos things. Stephanie just aqua buddha alone. Every cell in your fingernail is like one tiny little universe. Wow. Blew my mind, man. He came to my show in lexington. He came to the meet and greet afterwards. Stephanie no way. Really . Yeah. I did all of the jokes about his father right in front of him. I dont know if he laughed but his party of people laughed. Then i couldnt believe how tiny he is. He would walk away, the artist formerly known as rand paul. He is really tiny. I would say maybe as short as me in heels so 51. Stephanie really . Because his dad looked like a tiny little floating head in a giant suit during the republican all mini. He doesnt have the giant head. Why was rand paul wearing heels . I dont understand. We were both wearing heels. Thats what was odd. I had the heels on. I think he had maybe the prince boots on. He had boots on because i remember the cowboy boots. Stephanie what were some of your jokes about rand paul . From the last election, theres a lot of people that, half of the time your father speaks. We all go well, hes right. And then the other half of the time your father speaks, he sounds like your crazy grandpa at thanksgiving where you go you cant do that or to make Social Security solvent if we killed every Single Person under the age of 33, we would be even. Youre right but we cant do that you crazy person. They will run away. Theyre faster than us. Well have to capture them and put them in catches. They can text one another. He cant catch the young people. Stephanie good thought, grandpa. Its true but its not plausible. The people in rand pauls party must have been cracking up thinking thats exactly what we say every day. Theyre very southern, real very, very southern and they were all very, very nice. He doesnt he doesnt really laugh a lot. Rand. Hes not a looseygoosey ted kennedy type. Lets put it that way. Hes quite serious. Stephanie you did point out also hes from the giant wheel of right wing hypocrites. Stephanie look what you found, rude. A march 05 letter cosigned by paul begging for federal aid for tornadoplagued kentucky. Thats right. Who would have thought that when a disaster strikes your state, you would beg for money but when a disaster strikes other dave states, you would say it is gimme, gimme, gimme. Stephanie a bacon king like Chris Christie, i guess. He signed it. Mcconnell signed it and now hes slamming people who want sandy aid to rebuild. Just beautiful. Stephanie yeah. Gorgeous. Rudeness, great stuff as always. Talk to you next week. All right, bye. Stephanie see him next week. I cannot get the notion of the teeny tiny rand paul out of my head. Hes tiny. If you bought him for your dashboard, hes the same size. Maybe if he wore a purple beret. Stephanie or raspberry beret. 47 minutes after the hour. We continue with Kathleen Madigan. Call the Political Party line now. 1800steph12. Current tv is the place for true stories. With Award Winning documentaries that take you inside the headlines. Real, gripping, current. Documentaries. On current tv. In states rights but still support the drug war you must be high. Cenk uygur i think the number one thing viewers like about the young turks is that were honest. I think the audience gets that i actually mean it. Michael shure this show is about being up to date so a lot of my work happens by doing the things that i am given to doing anyway. Joy behar you can say anything here. Jerry springer i spent a couple of hours with a hooker joy behar your mistake was writing a check Jerry Springer she never cashed it vo the days events. Four very unique points of view. Tonight starting at 6 eastern. My sharona my Stephanie Miller stephanie it is the the Stephanie Miller show. Comedienne Kathleen Madigan live in studio all three hours. Very exciting. Eric boehlert from media matters coming up and representative adam schiff from the House Intelligence Committee to talk to us about alqaeda chatter. 1800steph12. It sounds so harmless. Hes all like and hes like omg, lol, really . It sounds like kids chatter. Stop the chattering. It is bedtime just background noise of nothing. Nothing. Stephanie senator Saxby Chambliss yesterday. An awful lot of chatter out there. Chatter means conversation among terrorists about the planning thats going on. Very reminiscent of what we saw pre911. Stephanie thats what the Bush Administration did dplij. It makes you all skeptical of whether theyre trying to scare us or whether it is real. And it makes us forget about the fact that theyre not doing their real jobs. Stephanie right, theres that. Not really doing their legal jobs. I just looked at the embassy. I dont think there are any comedy clubs. I read the whole list. Madagascar, no. Rwanda, not doing it. You have a good sense of human they dont have a good sense of humaner there. Especially for 500 for air flat. Stephanie to say i killed in rwanda would not be good. Saudi arabia, not going there. Especially the female comic. I dont think theyre big on ladys night. Although i have thought about the fact if i had to do tv over there, i would probably have to wear a burka and i would be happy. I didnt have i wouldnt have to do hair and makeup. I have nice eyes. Lets focus on that. Stephanie melissa in pensacola, youre on with kathleen. Hello, melissa. Caller good morning. Stephanie hello. Caller i am a bona fide born and raised democrat. But you know what . You guys i understand now why they say liberals whine so much. It is like you guys are never satisfied about anything. You make fun of george bush because he didnt listen to the chatter that was going on. Because he didnt take it seriously, because he was offering a book. Now president obama, lets go in syria or lets stay in afghanistan or lets go into iran. Hes not saying that. Hes just taking precautions. Precautions. Closing embassies. So what does that have to do with anything. Stephanie did i im confused. Wait a minute. What . Ive defended the nsa program. Caller not you. Im sorry. Those two men on there. God, the only reason listen to your show is because of you. If i had to listen to them, god, no. You should just take us out back like old yeller and put us out of our misery. Caller you should. Stephanie thank you. And good morning to you two. Start your week. [ laughter ] theres nothing to worry about. Stephanie whiners, whiners. Everything is completely fine. Stephanie i agree with melissa. Pat in california. Send you down the memory hole. Caller stephanie, i love you guys. Youre the greatest but listen, ted cruz, i have some people that are bipolar and manic depressant in my family and i see what he has right now. This guy is im so tired of hearing people say hes a genius. Hes a scholar. Stephanie ted cruz . Yeah. Caller my brother is a scholar but hes got bipolar. He does all of these crazy things and he has the lows. Hes depressed or whatever. This guy, hes good for us in a way but still. Come on, you know. Come on. Dont tell me that hes stephanie hes a wacko birth as john mccain would say. How about this republican interparty fight going on, kathleen. Fight, fight, fight, fight. Love it. Stephanie shove each other into the bleachers. They need somebody from the outside to tell them what the problem is. Theyre all too close to it. It is terrible you think, i would really like to tell you guys from an outsiders point of view, that part of your party has been hijacked and youve got this part and then the Tea Party People and then most of the republicans i know arent that people. Youre not addressing those people. It is a mess. Theyre going to bring sarah palin back. What are you stephanie they need an intervention. Mcmanis wrote a piece in the l. A. Times, is the g. O. P. Selfdestructing. Oh, is as in they havent already . Is that now a warning . Now. They need an old man, not bob dole. Hes too old. I dont mean moses old. I mean somebody that was respected that was in the middle. Stephanie thats john mccain. Hes a little nutty. Stephanie heres rand paul and Chris Christie. If he cared about protecting this country, he wouldnt be this gimme, gimme, gimme all the money. Maybe he should think about cutting the pork barrel spending he brings home to kentucky. But i doubt he would because most washington politicians only care about bringing home the bacon. This is the king of bacon talking about bacon. If we can sit down, im inviting him for a beer. I dont have time for that at the moment. Why dont you invite him for a delicious pork hot dog, right . Youre talking about pork and bacon. Stephanie what did our caller call Chris Christie last week . Oh, joey bag o doughnuts. Governor joey bag o doughnuts. This just gets betterrer and betterrer. Well talk about this. Is the g. O. P. Selfdestructing. I love that. As if its present tense as if it hasnt already happened. Back with Kathleen Madigan, Eric Boehlert from media matters. Much more as we continue on the Stephanie Miller show. [ theme ] stephanie all right. Hour number two. Eric boehlert from media matters coming up. Nurse jacki. Yes . Stephanie shouldnt we be rooting for the wacko birds like ted cruz to shut the government down over obamacare because studies have showed a, it will not stop obamacare and b, it will be a Public Relations disaster. Yeah, but i just wonder how far that Public Relations disaster will go because theyve been pulling antics like this for so long and people are just kind of numb to them now, i think. Stephanie were going to talk to Eric Boehlert about that in a minute. This is where the Mainstream Media falls down on the job as usual. They dont really point out the context on how unprecedented this would be. It is more just infighting in washington. It is like no, its not. There is a reason why the sequester was put into place because there was no compromise and nobody laid blame there. I dont know how much they have to do before people get on them and tells them it is their fault. Stephanie im a Small Business owner who stumbled upon my own show and now heres Jacki Schechner in the current news center. Good morning, everybody. It is unclear but reuters is reporting a secret Drug Enforcement unit is using domestic surveillance to target common criminals. Reuters says the d. E. A. Unit in question is launching investigations based on info collected through wiretaps and intelligence interception and phone records and also in doing so, it is being instructed to recreate that investigative trail. This puts the accused at a legal and constitutional disadvantage because if a defendant doesnt know the true source of information, he or she couldnt possibly investigate whether or not there were any mistakes made or incidents of entrapment. The reuters story comes from classified documents marked Law Enforcement sensitive reportedly distributed by the d. E. A. Unit known as special operations division. While the Justice Department is so far refusing to comment, two senior d. E. A. Officials tell reuters that recreating the source of the tip that leads to an investigation is neither uncommon nor illegal. That the procedure has long been used to protect sources and investigative techniques. In other news, eric cantor, the House Majority leader, is speak out about raising the debt ceiling saying that they could come to some sort of deal with entitlement cuts are part of the process. What raising the debt limit means, its increasing the credit limit. And for too long now, washington has disregarded the fact that that what that does is it burdens our kids and theirs and we actually are digging the hole deeper for the next generation. He fails to mention that hole would get rid of medicare and Social Security which future generations would need. Were back after the break. A lot of my work happens by doing the things that im given to doing anyway, by staying in touch with everything that is going on politically and putting my own nuance on it. In reality its not like they actually care. This is purely ive worn lots of hats, but ive always kept this going. Ive been doing politics now for a dozen years. vo hes been called the epic politics man. Hes Michael Shure and his arena is the war room. These republicans in congress that think the world ends at the Atlantic Ocean border and Pacific Ocean border. The bloggers and the people that are sort of compiling the best of the day. I do a lot of looking at those people as well. Not only does senator rubio just care about rich people, but somehow he thinks raising the minimum wage is a bad idea for the middle class. But we do care about them right . They dont have time for a whole letter. I think twitter is mean sometimes. My people arent specifically. There are people that go for people that are just mean. Because then you look and you go oh, do you this all day. It is not personal. Stephanie we get more done before 6 00 a. M. Than most people do all day. You should move to some [ bleep ] abandoned house in detroit. If a bunch of these white slobs who have creepy ass would move there with you, you can have a creepy ass neighborhood. Detroit a little piece of turd world africa right here in america. Wow. Thats a little haaseist. Was that was that a little racist . That was for me. Just for you . Stephanie just for me. Its a tie. Stephanie you know what i think . Because sean hannity mentioned me last week. Did he. Stephanie i always get that. I saw that tweet. Yeah, yeah. Okay. All right. Stephanie speaking of rightwing world. Eric boehlert from media matters for america doing the lords work. Hurts so good come on, baby Eric Boehlert hurts so good. Stephanie lets dive into the rightwing world. I dont know what that means. Hurts so good stephanie you know what . You tules ton a lot of you tulessen to a lot of right wing media. Benghazi fever, another friday in right wing radio. We talked about the return of the clinton crazies, the speculation hillary will take a higher profile in terms of domestic politics after serving overseas. So yeah, this is sort of the the embers are being lit, right . So the crucifixion it is a nice image, right . This is what we do with our Public Policy officials who we disagree with. Of course, Laura Ingraham has been fueling the benghazi hysteria for almost a year now. It is whats to come. You know, last time, just real quick, in 2008, hillary had that competdiv race with obama and the right ring media wasnt sure who they wanted to win or lose. They held their fire in a way. If she runs in 2016, there will be no holding fire and well see crucifixion and weird kind of imagery. Stephanie dow hits record high. Media matters took a look at foxs coverage of the Economic News last week. Some of it was pretty encouraging. When it is pretty encouraging, it doesnt exist. That coverage doesnt exist. You would not know housing values shot up last year and hit a a seven or eightyear high. That doesnt exist at fox. So you know, if you cant talk about the economy and youre an all news channel, and you that kind of eliminates you know, usually a pretty big chunk of what you Pay Attention to. At least if it is headlines, if you let that, what do you fill the hole with . Benghazi and the i. R. S. And all of this other stuff. Stephanie as you say, we hit 40. G. O. P. Votes to repeal obamacare but you wrote a great piece about g. O. P. Pushes obamacare shutdown, media pretends it is madness as usual. This is what i was talking about before the break. Amazing how they just always here we go again with partisan warfare. Both sides do it in washington. They have so successfully moved the goalpost. It is not even funny. The New York Times today has yet another story. They report that a lot of the republican governors dont want, you know, republicans in washington to shut down the government of obamacare. Sort of mundanely referred to as the plan or the strategy or the push. My piece was like take two steps back and those words should be insane, lunacy, out of their mind. I mean think about it. They couldnt stop obamacare from passing into law. They couldnt stop the Supreme Court from legitimizing it. They lost two election electoral landslides to obama so theyre going to bring the entire federal government to a halt so it cant implement a lot they can stop. And you read about it in the Beltway Press and it is oh, its the latest plan. It is latest initiative. It is insane. It is completely insane. Just treated as oh, this is what the republicans might do. Stephanie more than that, eric be, you point out almost with admiration, to the surprise of no one whos followed the presss timidity toward the g. O. P. And its open admiration of republican hardball tactics, the news media has done little to explain how the gamut is. And it ties into the complete free pass theyve given the g. O. P. Over the radical obstructionist strategies that theyve used for the last five years. Just real quick, i mean i went back and googled 20072008, there are a handful of democratic members of congress who wanted to cut off funding for the iraq war. The democratic leadership quickly put the kibosh on it. It went nowhere. They wanted to specifically limit dollars that the Defense Department was using or that bush was asking for can you imagine if the democratic members in Congress Went on tv for weeks and weeks and said were going to bring the federal government to a halt . In order to defund the war in iraq . They would have been they would have been run out of town by the press. Stephanie right. Thats what your point is. The g. O. P. Has allowed them to move the goalpost in defining what, as you say, acceptable mainstream behavior. It just you say it appears theres no cockamamie strategy that they can ponder that the Beltway Press wont legit mise and take seriously. How we got here, thats how we got here, right . Right. Thats how we got to the Government Shutdown nonsense. It really is the g. O. P. Just announces this is the lunacy where theyre going to pursue and the Washington Post said okay. Tell us what the lunacy is. Well get a couple of quotes. Instead of describing it as lunacy, it is a plan. It is a strategy. It is a push. It is an initiative. Just absolutely it just it enables this radical behavior. Stephanie eric, we were talking before the break. We were playing some sound of the whole rand paul Chris Christie fight. It is interesting to think how is this going to play out . Someone was saying you could call it a civil war but theyre not organized enough for that. Whats going on in the Republican Party . Just in the Republican Party. It is not unprecedented what theyre doing with obama and the democrats. How do you think this is going to play out with republicans . I think thats the larger point that there is, you know, the there is no republican establishment. There are no wise men. There are no people who traditionally, whether democratic or Republican Party, sort of ran the game in d. C. And set up the guidelines or the guardrails in terms of this is how we behave. You know, the guardrails went down unlike obamas first inauguration day. And so it has been chaos ever since. So yeah, look forward, looking ahead, without those guardrails, this is what you have, christie and paul and just sort of this crazy namecalling and it is going to intensify and i think 2016 is going to be a massive car wreck. Because nobody knows what the rules are anymore because republicans have been so busy tearing them down themselves. Stephanie eric, the l. A. Times says yesterday, perhaps the problem the republicans have is one of leadership. When asked to identify the leadership party, the first place winner was accurately enough, nobody. Thats a problem. Yeah. Probably Rush Limbaugh came in second or third. Thats been the other huge problem. The Republican Leadership is completely advocated itself to this right wing noise machine. They were completely defeated in early 2009. There was nothing left of the Republican Party really. So they said here, fox, Rush Limbaugh, you take it. You be the opposition party. You come up with an agenda. You smear. You tackle bomb, call him a nazi, racist. Do all of this stuff because ware spent. The problem is now, even if the republican wanted to, they cant take the reins back from limbaugh and fox news. Theyre like oh we kind of like this. Were in charge. You guys follow us. And as we saw with romney, they followed them off a cliff. But yeah. Nobody is in charge of the Republican Party. Look at this the pending showdown. Look at what boehner has to deal with. It is a total mess. Stephanie heres in rightwing world how you know weve come full circle, the voice of reason has become ann coulter. She went on hannitys show and railed against christie and paul for their bitch fight. Look where shes railing on it. Shes even dividing that by where she chose to make that appearance. Okay. So thats where youre going to say it . In another devils den . You have to go somewhere else. If she went on cnn to say that, then it seems like shes speaking to everyone. Stephanie exactly. It is popcorn viewing, isnt it, eric . It is. You look at specifically paul versus christie, you know, really the winner will be determined by who fox backs and right now, theyre not picking a horse in that race. It is playing out. But ultimately, it is a cable tv channel thats going to decide the winner of that fight just like they decide all of the other fights. Then again it goes back to there being no leadership in the Republican Party and advocating to the role of people like sean hannity and bill oreilly. Stephanie eric, great stuff. Talk to you next week. Thanks so much. Okay, byebye. [ applause ] stephanie yes, ann coulter said the reason Chris Christie started this little bitch fight is to distract the fact that he and his Senate Nominee that he appointed in new jersey voted for amnesty. Im pointing out thats what the bitch fight is about so dont fall for it, she warned. I love hannity for saying bitch fight. She was talking about democrats but just calling republican men little bitches that probably got his panties in a little thats not acceptable on that show. I wonder if back to the benghazi thing for a minute, trying to fan the flames on that since the election. The last two happened right at the end. And theyve been trying to get that to catch fire and again, it goes back to this is all a reality show and if your show doesnt have any sexting or drugs or rock n roll, general public is not on board with benghazi. I still dont know where it is. Im too lazy to google it. I dont care where it is quite frankly. We know some people got killed well, theyre c. I. A. People, isnt that kind of what is in the program. Stephanie right. It is not going to catch fire. They have to find something new. It doesnt have anything people are interested in literally. Stephanie right. No pictures. Theres nothing. Stephanie we havent even talked about that yet. 18 minutes after the hour. Well have some weiner talk with Kathleen Madigan next on the Stephanie Miller show. Announcer call the Political Party line now, 1800steph12. Current tv is the place for true stories. With Award Winning documentaries that take you inside the headlines. Real, gripping, current. Documentaries. On current tv. Stephanie it is the Stephanie Miller show. With the brilliant Kathleen Madigan. You made a perfect analogy as to who Rush Limbaugh is. Hes a producer on the bachelorette. All he wants is conflict. His show is boring if everyone is getting along and things are getting done. Stephanie exactly. Jim sorry. [ jeopardy theme ] who said if doctors told Mitch Mcconnell he had a kidney stone, he would refuse to pass it. Dr. Kildare. [ buzzer ] stephanie no. Allison grimes who is ahead of him in the polls which is hilarious. Speaking of hilarious, we were talking with Eric Boehlert about fox news. Fox news doesnt get detroit piston joke. It comes butt of many jokes. Youve seen the first. Joe louis. When the fine people of detroit woke up on thursday morning, they saw something peculiar sitting in front of the statue of joe louis first was a giant can of crisco. It was created by an artist. They called it a magical vessel of hope to help ease the pain of detroits bankruptcy. The giant can sat in front of the first for five hours while they tried to figure out what the first and crisco has in common. Other people pointed out it was an elaborate and dirty joke. Fox news posted a picture of the first on its facebook page. Huh . [ scoobydoos huh . ] stephanie with the following note. Local artist has created something he calls vessel of hope. He hopes it may in some way ease the pain of having the detroit bankruptcy shoved in our face. Can anyone explain what this means . It is like you are an idiot. It is like a whole network of your grandparents. No one knows. Come on now. I wouldnt expect my grandparents to know that but even my parents would get that. Stephanie exactly. Oh, by the way, weve been talking about the Republican Party. Eric was mentioning romney and et cetera. This new book, have you seen collision 2012, obama versus romney, one part of it, stuart stevens, romneys chief strategist, when you saw Clint Eastwood on Live Television speaking offscript to an imaginary obama, he walked out of the room and threw up. Ive seen a lot worse. Ive seen a lot worse. It was definitely offpage and not well thought out but its not worth vomiting over. Stephanie lets go to darryl in california. Youre on with kathleen. Hey, darryl. Caller good morning, everyone. Stephanie hello. Go ahead. Caller stephanie, i have a confession. Please dont be angry with me. I am a registered democrat bona fide liberal that loves, loves listening to conservative talk radio. Stephanie all right. Everyones got their dirty little secret, darryl, its all right. I listen to whats called the douchebag trio. Rush limbaugh, Mike Gallagher and a local guy here in los angeles named ben shapiro. What an idiot. Stephanie i dont know him. Caller anyway, every time i listen to these guys, someone would call in and mention how awful of a president bush was and they would always say the same thing. Oh, youre blaming him. And when i think i have this figured out, i think i have the reason why they cant knowledge how awful he was, by doing so, you realize what a better president obama is. Am i off on that . Stephanie i think its hard to underestimate how really awful bush was. Karen in wyoming, youre on with kathleen. Hello, karen. Caller hello. This is my second time calling in and im sorry, i havent been able to get my boss to fax you an excuse but i am now taping on the days i cant watch. Stephanie thank you. Caller but my First National election was working on your dads campaign in 1964. Stephanie wow. Thank you so much. Caller i was a teenager. And i thought the Republican Party at that time was a respectable party with a respectable opposite point of view. I dont see them that way anymore and im no longer a republican. Stephanie yeah, you and me both, sister. Caller have a good day. Stephanie shell take no further questions, kathleen. Short, concise and to the point, thank you. I dont think wyoming went for your dad. Stephanie no, probably. Computer says no. Stephanie although you said something last night thats true. Had there been twitter in Lyndon Johnsons day, there is a good chance my dad and goldwater would have won. He would have played grab ass over twitter. He would have tweeted pictures of jumbo. Stephanie youve not had a chance to talk to us about your thoughts on the Anthony Weiner scandal. I cannot believe as many times as im in n. Y. City, theres no one else available for this. There are a hundred Million People, i would take the peanut guy, the hot dog vendor, anyone has to have more common sense. I dont judge you for the pictures. I dont care. I judge you for the stupidity. Stephanie more with Kathleen Madigan on that next on the Stephanie Miller show. Were going to places where few others are going. It doesnt get anymore real than this. Vanguard is about telling important stories that need to be told. Were patrolling the area looking for guns, drugs, bodies. Now in its seventh remarkable season, vanguard is the documentary series that raised the bar for excellence. Garnering the industrys highest honors for getting real and going deep. We go in and spend a considerable amount of time getting to know the people and the characters that are actually living these stories. People who want to live a racist life freely move here because they feel like they can. The impact of Phillip Morris in indonesia is devastating. Hard news, no agenda. This is vanguard. Next, only on current tv. vo current tv is the place for compelling true stories. kaj jack, how old are you . adam this is what 27 tons of marijuana looks like. vo with Award Winning documentaries that take you inside the headlines. Way inside. christoff were patrolling the area looking for guns, drugs, bodies. adam were going to places where few others are going. [lady] you have to get out now. Lots of terrible things happen to people growing marijuana. This crop to me is my livelihood. Im being violated by the health care system. christoff we go and spend a considerable amount of time getting to know the people and the characters that are actually living these stories. vo from the underworld, to the world of privilege. Everyone in Michael Jacksons life was out to use him. vo no one brings you more documentaries that are real, gripping, current. Occupy we will have class warfare. vo true stories, current perspective. Documentaries. On current tv. Youre drunk again. Eem im just exhausted because ive been up all night drinking. Stephanie it is the Stephanie Miller show with Kathleen Madigan live in studio all three hours, our buddy, our pal, comedienne extraordinaire. We were talking about the weiner scandal before the break. It just got worser and worser, didnt it . He needs to stop talking. Stop talking. You know, the woman weve gone to therapy. You cant go to therapy for stupidity. Theres no therapist who goes what, im going to make you brighter than you were when you came in here. It can help with you a problem. I would be offended at the level of stupidity. You want to do this, if youre not running for office, youre just like whatever. But i mean i cannot believe new yorkers are putting up with this. No he dropped to fourth place from first. Did he go . I knew he was sinking. I dont know how far he went. The wife coming out and stop it. I want one of the women like with Eliot Spitzer who just keeps going, you know, all of the prostitutes are in jail but hes still out on the run running for office. Saw him on the plane. New york tv. All of the ad strks, greatest guy ever. One of them press conferences to stand next to him. As soon as he starts talking, just stab him in the arm and walk away. Just stab him in the arm. Ill stand by you and as soon as you start speaking, ill take out a pocketknife and stab you in the arm. Im not going to kill you or maim you. What are you going to do . Arrest me for assault . Tranquilizer dart. A little dexter move. A Little Something in the neck. Yeah. Stephanie by the way, we were talking about because a lot of people would then try to compare weiner with clinton which to me, i was saying no comparison. Slate has a piece, no, you fools, a lewinsky sex tape wont destroy hillary clinton. Eric boehlert was looking at this. How are we going to destroy hillary clinton. National enquirer has a tape that monica recorded for bill clinton. It is just her on tape. No clinton because clinton like most people is smarter than Anthony Weiner. The emergence could torpedo hillarys run. Lewinsky saga did not hurt hillary clinton. It lifted her poll numbers to a point where new york people sought her out to running for Kwame Kilpatrick in detroit, he was on government phones. He never said anything. They would text all of the dirty stuff and he would text back mmhmm, keep talkin, baby. He never wrote a thing. I thought at least he was smart enough to make them do it. What else would you like to do . Tell me more. [ laughter ] stephanie uhhuh. And what else . What time . Where . Yeah. Stephanie did he ever say anything incriminating . Computer says no. He could say i thought i was responding to my assistant because theyre all very benign statements. What time . I need more. Stephanie like a squeezy mcfeel pants script. Oh, my. Stephanie howdy do. What say you . My, my, my. Call me susan. Thats incriminating. [ laughter ] stephanie we were talking about all of the sunday shows. Talking about the alqaeda chatter which, as you were saying, does not sound threatening. Senator Saxby Chambliss yesterday. What we have heard is some specifics on whats intended to be done and some individuals who are making plans such as we saw before 911. Stephanie were going have representative adam schiff on in an hour because hes on the House Intelligence Committee and i do trust him. But you know, i know i cant talk about that. I cant talk about that either. Thats what the interview is going to be like. Stephanie i know him well enough, ill be able to infer from the tone whats happening. Thats what im saying . Why come out and tell us you have nothing to tell us . Stephanie well know from his tone of voice. Do little winks. Stephanie just do this. If its tomorrow stephanie representative the crow flies at midnight. Stephanie representative peter king. Basically be in europe or the united states. It could be a series of theyve got to stop it. Stop telling us stephanie they cant tell us. Gregory keeps asking them whats going to happen. Whos doing it . What are they planning . Stephanie see, everyone has a partisan thing. Rick santorum went on meet the press and it is because the president obama made us so week, blah, blah, blah, even Joe Scarborough said thats not true. Im no obama fan but even conservatives will tell you alqaeda is much weaker. Weve degraded alqaeda to such a degree. It is not even partisan. Stephanie wellknown southern bell Lindsey Graham. It is scary. Alqaedas on the rise. And the nsa program has proven its worth once again. You just blew it. We better give up all of our freedoms or something bad is going to happen. Scare us, scare us, scare us. It doesnt scare me because i dont know where most of the places are. Stephanie Lindsey Graham is also scared of insects if john mccain is not around to kill them. Oh, my [ screaming ] stephanie im just saying. Theyre on a trip right now together. Egypt. Stephanie Lindsey Graham has said once if he hasnt a hundred times, heres a tibb, you kill it. And then mccain killed it and ate it. How long do we have to live to not hear these names anymore. Stephanie Lindsey Graham is getting teabagged. [ nbc nightly news ] by a challenger. Stephanie hang on. Finding it. Finding it. Pea Party Favorite tea Party Favorite announces challenge. Republican nancy mace. Hes going to get maced. And teabagged. Dream come true. Stephanie now shes running for the u. S. Senate opposing a primary challenge to senator Lindsey Graham. Shes the first female graduate of the citadel and a at the Party Favorite. Please and thank you. Republican attorney richard cash said he will run against dplij graham in 2014. Lindsey graham could be replaced with someone worthy of that seat. Who is wealthy of Lindsey Grahams seat . John mccain. The way he lashed out against rand paul, hes begging for a primary. Hes clearly a barbarian that needs to be hes lashing out, begging, begging to be primaried is all im saying. Understand barbarians need to be educated. They need to be disciplined. Mother, why did you do this to me . Stephanie okay. That was just another sound byte we played randomly. It had nothing to do with anything. Lindsey graham. Was that lindsey . No. That was what goes on in reparative therapy where youre supposed to hit a pillow with a tennis racket. Mother, why did you do that to me . That and cuddling with men is supposed to cure the gayness. Okay. Stephanie okay. Representative adam schiff who will join us in about an hour. You have to be very careful about how much you represent that any particular program has contributed to our security. Stephanie well talk to him about that. Thats whats hard. They cant tell us everything so you know i cant talk about that. Stephanie you dont know what particular programs have helped stop what, right . None of it is tangible. None of it. You can sit here and everybody one side can take this side and it is my problem with the tsa. It is making us so much safer. How do we know . Can you prove it . It didnt happen. Thanks to kathleen not bringing all of her shampoo. Yea for us. Im over it. Im over the shoe thing. You know what . The precheck now, because i fly so much, sometimes i get in that line and so im okay over here but im not okay over here with my shampoo. When are we going to say kathleen, youre okay. Now you can bring all of your shampoo. And a novelty bag. Stephanie i find ways around tsa. Ive said before, if i had to take that many things off, someone is having sex with me. I usually wear my warmup jacket when im traveling, i zip it all the way up so it looks like it is the only thing im wearing. If you have a jacket open, now you have to put your jacket in. I zip it all the way up and i go right through. So it looks like a blouse. Can i tell you another good secret. Heres the thing. Lets say you have two bags of toiletries you would like to bring. When you go up to the thing, unzip your thing, throw one in the thing then throw the next bag in the thing then send your bag through. They never say whose is whose. Once its through oh [ dramatic ] one in front of your bag, one behind your bag. Stephanie why do you hate america so much . Well, see, thats the reason because nobody will take control and theres no sports minister and i dont believe anybody is really in charge of the tsa. I go through. They have different tsa rules. Hey, i thought this was the national program. In l. A. They let me bring my teddy bear but in lexington, i cant have the bear. Whatever. Dont have to take your shoes off anymore. Stephanie i was at one small airport, the sign with the line through it, no this, this, this, this. No bombs. Stephanie it said no jokes past this point. Thats a challenge for a comedienne. I think there is going to be something funny past this point. I know there is. Then in vegas, you encourage it because the video of what to do when you get there is done by carrot top. Seriously. Hey, welcome to the airport. I loved him but what is going on . You are letting comedians be in charge of safety . Anthony weiner and the radar machine because he does it for fun anyway. Look at it look, im not packing any well, you know. Stephanie ill bet you cant say representative buffens barger three times really fast. Hes a good democrat out of maryland. Those operatives are in place because weve received information that highlevel people from alqaeda and the Arabian Peninsula are talking about major attack. When arent they . That would be my question. Okay, so youre just yes. You just picked up on more of it in your little wiretaps or whatever goes on . Apparently there was an extraordinary amount of chatter that pinged red lights everywhere. Their cable went out and they had Nothing Better to talk about. Lets start thinking outside the box. They took cbs and showtime off. Stephanie dexter fans. Maybe they wanted to see tiger woods win yesterday. We dont know. Stephanie 46 minutes after the hour. Back with more chatter with Kathleen Madigan. As we continue on the Stephanie Miller show. Im kind of known for having a twisted sense of humor. Announcer its the Stephanie Miller show. This show is about analyzing, criticizing, and holding policy to the fire. Are you encouraged by what you heard the president say the other night . Is this personal or is it political . A lot of my work happens by doing the things that i am given to doing anyway. Staying in tough with everything that is going on politically and putting my own nuance on it. Not only does senator rubio just care about rich people but somehow he thinks raising the minimum wage is a bad idea for the middle class. But we do care about them, right . Vo the war room tonight at 6 eastern current tv is the place for true stories. With Award Winning documentaries that take you inside the headlines. Real, gripping, current. Documentaries. On current tv. Stephanie it is the Stephanie Miller show enjoying the greatest of the greats this morning. Grape growers are now able to make different flavors of grapes. Like there is a cotton candy. Concorde grape is my favorite. We were discussing how early is too early to drink on a plane and the answer, never. [ ding ding ] [ applause ] stephanie youre not going to ask to fly the plane. Im just sitting here. There is no time in clouds. Are there clocks in heaven . I dont think so. [ magic wand ] you never hear when a plane crashes and at 10 42 a. M. Because you dont know what time it was. Stephanie it was 10 42 a. M. And Kathleen Madigan had a blood alcohol level nothing my mother needs to know about. I dont think there is time in clouds. Stephanie no. I appreciate the fact that they have alcohol available. And fritos. And they act like it is normal. Can i get. Bloody mary or a screwdriver. Im sorry, im not fullblown alcoholic. I would like to think im borderline. Ive also noticed in first class, most everybody is drinking. The people in coach arent. Not really. So i guess theres just a lot of successful drunks. Thats all i can come up with. Pilots sometimes. Not exactly sure where were going. I have the gps. Stephanie worst thing you want to hear. I think we have a problem with the landing gear. I dont remember exactly what channel stephanie okay. Auto pilot drank this morning, too or just us . Stephanie there is better chance that well be killed by our own pilots than on a flight. Michael chertoff on nbcs this week. More dangerous because now we have what we call 2. O or 3. 0 which is widely dispersed Younger Generation with new ideas. I was thinking Michael Chertoff had a solution for a problem that didnt exist. Stephanie much like darrell issa. How to make a fancy car alarm after a career as a car thief. Billy in texas. Caller good morning, guys. Listen, you were talking about Lindsey Graham being challenged by a tea party member. I was wondering why you wont talking about the liberals that will challenge him because it doesnt seem like there is any. Stephanie if he makes it through the teabagging to actually run against the democrats. Caller there are. What youre missing the point youre missing is the tea party thats providing a challenge. Which indicates there is a lot more conservatives in that part of the world which is a good thing for people like me. Stephanie uhhuh. Caller well, theres a lot more conservatives out there. Youre not going to run as a liberal in pa part of the world and get elected. Stephanie you think James Clyburn stephanie Lindsey Graham will be successfully teabagged . Well, die really stephanie he will be tea bagged to fruition. For your political interests. Caller i dont think hes a particularly good representative not conservative enough for me. Stephanie all right. Caller but if they get somebody strong in there who can articulate the conservative position, im all behind it. Stephanie what is the conservative position . Caller conservatism. That sounded like me in high school. Just getting my head off the desk. It is conservatism. Where you conserve things which stephanie youre doodling in the blue book. Can i write an essay on it later or is this true or false . Whats happening . Conservatism. Is being conservative. Stephanie the headline is the g. O. P. Selfdestructing . Computer says yes. Stephanie according to billy because thats all theyve got. Someone to the right of Lindsey Graham. Stephanie right. I dont know if weve been paying attention whats been happening in congress. Weve grown used to a congress locked in a bitter warfare between two parties. Thats what that woman was talking about. At least there were two parties. Now weve ceased to have two parties. The republicans are fighting among themselves. Theres nobody else actually governing on the other side. Anyway, producing gridlock on federal spending and other pressing issues but the Congress Left washington last week, hit a new high in another category. Gridlock among republicans. Did you see what happened . Take last weeks unremarkable proposal by president obama for a deal to combine Corporate Tax cuts, an idea republicans love with an idea on spending on roads and an idea that only some republicans love. Senator john mccain who has emerged as obamas chief partner praised the idea as a good start. Mitch mcconnell also about to get teabagged denounced it as a trick to boost spending. Ted cruz, a leader of the upandcoming tea Party Faction said republicans should stop talking about any deals and threaten to shut down the government instead. In the house where republicans run the chamber, the chaos was worse. When house leaders tried to pass the deep cuts, they suddenly discovered they didnt have a majority. Some g. O. P. Members thought the cuts were too deep and some thought they werent deep enough. God in heaven. How divided are republicans in congress . One reserve stiv joked it is not organized enough for a civil war. At least the civil war, except my state, missouri, we couldnt figure out a team. But everybody else figured out a team and then would go at it. Stephanie he goes through every issue. G. O. P. Is divided on how to fight the implementation of obamas healthcare law. Youve got the wacko birds like cruz and those people trying to shut the government down over there. Senator tom coburn said thats a terrible idea. Blah, blah, blah. Divided over foreign policy, national security. Immigration. There isnt one issue they agree with each other on. Old guy that has positions that everybody can accept. The old guys are too old. Bob dole, come on now. Who is the class below him . Stephanie you know what . That would be john mccain, i think. Stephanie thats what i mean. They dont listen to grampy anymore. Yeah. There has to be someone else besides mccain. Stephanie this pew poll, when asked who the leader of the Republican Party is, nobody. The highest rated answer was nobody. Thats the problem. It is not Mitch Mcconnell. Stephanie no. Too scared of you know. Cant be that scared of ashley judd. Just sayin, if youre that afraid of ashley judd, you dont have your a game going on. Stephanie back with more Kathleen Madigan on the Stephanie Miller show. [ theme ] stephanie all right. Hour number three, representative adam schiff, you know Jacki Schechner, hes on the House Intelligence Committee. Yes. Stephanie so he cant tell us anything or he will have to kill us. But i think we can, as chicks can, we can figure out from his tone of voice what he means. Like a super secret decoder ring thing. Stephanie like in your crackerjacks and stuff. I will activate my mood ring and get a sense of how i dont know. Everybodys trying to debate on is this alqaeda threat. Is it Something Different . More serious. They seem to be saying it is a big deal. Stephanie i think kathleen is right. The word chatter seems to seem like something inane. Thats just the common word they use for online conversation. Stephanie right. Exactly. Theyre probably more meaningful than ours which consists of this pretty much, right . [ laughter ] stephanie here she is in the current news center, Jacki Schechner. Good morning, everybody. Usa today has analyzed years of s. E. C. Filings and reports today sees dead people and theyre giving money. Since january 1, 2009, 32 people listed as deceased have given almost 600,000 to congressional and president ial candidates and political parties. Usa today started looking into the issue on the heels of a news report that a super pac helping Senate Minority leader Mitch Mcconnell got 100,000 from a top g. O. P. Contributor two months after the man died. The super pac says that a computer glitch logged the contribution date incorrectly and has since filed a new report claiming the mans money came in just a day before he passed away. S. E. C. Rules do allow people to make politicians or campaigns the beneficiaries of their state. But the same contribution limits that apply to the living apply to the deceased. There is, however, a current case pending in a d. C. Appellate court seeking to overturn limits on individual postmortem contributions with the argument being that somebody cannot corrupt a politician from the grave. Things got heated in a kentucky barbecue event over the weekend. Shown here in file footage, Mitch Mcconnell turned up as did mcconnells Tea Party Challenger and likely democratic senator Allison Lundergan grimes. He highlighted his seniority in washington and accomplishments in office and the challenge he faces from democrats in d. C. In general. Grimes who is hammering mcconnell on being too entrenched in washington had the quote of the day saying that the doctors told senator mcconnell he had a kidney stone, he would refuse to pass that. After the break. Honest. They know that im not bsing them for some hidden agenda, actually supporting one party or the other. When the democrats are wrong, they know im going to be the first one to call them out. Cenk on air whats unacceptable is how washington continues to screw the middle class over. Cenk off air i dont want the middle class taking the brunt of the spending cuts and all the different programs that wind up hurting the middle class. Cenk on air you got to go to the local level, the state level and we have to fight hard to make sure they cant buy our politics anymore. Cenk off air and they can question if im right about that. But i think the audience gets that, i actually mean it. Cenk on air 3 trillion dollars in spending cuts narrator uniquely progressive and always topical, the Worlds Largest online news show is on current tv. Cenk off air and i think the audience gets, this guys to best of his abilities is trying to look out for us. Only on current tv current tvs no limit documentary series vanguard. Were going to placesuard. Where few others are going. It doesnt get anymore real than this. Vanguard is about telling important stories that need to be told. Were patrolling the area looking for guns, drugs, bodies. Now in its seventh remarkable season, vanguard is the documentary series that raised the bar for excellence. Garnering the industrys highest honors for getting real and going deep. We go in and spend a considerable amount of time getting to know the people and the characters that are actually living these stories. People who want to live a racist life freely move here because they feel like they can. The impact of Phillip Morris in indonesia is devastating. Hard news, no agenda. This is vanguard. Next, only on current tv. Itss Beautiful Day dont let it get away stephanie it is the Stephanie Miller show. Welcome to it. 19 u. S. Embassies remain closed around the world. I think its because Kathleen Madigan chatters too much. A lot of chatter. A lot of chatter. Again, i dont know any clubs in those areas and i know no theatres or indian casinos. The improv doesnt book you . No. Stephanie you know who did like mark and georgia loved your tape. Steph, great to see Kathleen Madigan on her show. I buy multiple versions of her dvds for my entire family. Since we all grew up catholic, thats a lot of dvds. I gotta tap into that source. Stephanie when i finally quit smoking two years ago, it took me two years to think and speak normally again. Thank you. Stephanie he says you sound pretty coherent even though well, because theres people around. Since janish, i guess. I would have to look it up. I tried to block that whole period out. My voice sounds better, right . Dont i sound like a song bird . Stephanie you do. You said at home, sound like young lucy instead of old lucy. They have the whole movie at the museum and shes like i just want to say. Exactly. It is personality. Oh, ricky stephanie i always get that wrong. Mcgillicuddy. It was lucys maiden name. Stephanie on the old lucy show. I didnt see that at the museum. It was on the show . In real life. Stephanie oh, ricky then suddenly cuts [ magic wand ] stephanie youre doing okay. You said youre not happy about quitting. Im not happy about it. People congratulate you. I didnt feel bad to begin with. This isnt like youre hung over every day going this is hard. I got up, have some coffee. Lets get rolling. I can still walk, run, it wasnt like i was in some sort of horrible lung machine at the hospital. Iron lung. I dont even have a cough. I dont have sinus headaches, nothing. Wow. I dont know. I just do think my parents at 60 said they were stopping. Really . Were going to call this off now . Arent you to the age where you smoke it out and see what happens. 60 . They felt like it could give them another ten years. Maybe 30 years ago. They were having it was bothering them. Hacking and coughing and and this age, no. Just lovely. Just a pack of marlboro lights and bottle of wine. Did you smoke inside . No. My car will never be able to be resold unless i find another derelict, indigent smoking machine. See if lucille ball was alive, i would say hey, how about a nice mercury mariner. It would smell like home to her. I love it, honey i love it just smoked inside. Then i thought i grew up with that. My parents smoked three packs a day. Stephanie it was like apocalypse now. You couldnt roll down the windows because we didnt want to let the air conditioning out. Lets get this going a little thicker. I love the smell of nicotine. Stephanie harold in new york on the weiner race in new york. Caller hi, stephanie. Hi, kathleen. It is an honor to speak with you. Firsttime caller. Big fab. Saw you at the beacon theatre last year. Stephanie me or her . Caller stephanie. It was a great show. Im a bar owner in new york city and in brooklyn and i was all set to vote for Anthony Weiner but i cant vote for him now. I think hes an idiot and hes out of his mind. I dont trust Christine Quinn because i think shes going to carry on the antinightlife stance that the Bloomberg Administration and Giuliani Administration before him started and she was on Chris Matthews last week touting the fact she was all in favor of the smoking ban and how great that was and stephanie you know, its interesting. I know you have a specific point of view because you own a bar but you know, i have to say, smoking is a pretty it is a pretty wellknown health threat. I have to say im kind of bloombergs side on that one. What else what are the antinight laws . What else is happening . Bloomberg wants to close the bars down at 2 00 a. M. He tried doing that in his first term. We had to fight him. New york nightlife association. And theres all sorts of thats what i mean. Thats terrible. You know, he doesnt make our life easy at all. You know. They dont you know what . I dont Smoke Cigarettes and im happy that the air in my bar is clean but at the time, 90 of my patrons wanted to Smoke Cigarettes inside my bar and the city was saying you cant have it anymore. I felt it was my duty as a Business Owner to tell them that this might affect my business. They didnt care. Stephanie i think Secondhand Smoke is a thing. You know, we were saying on this show, i think the drink ban was ridiculous and nanny state. You can just get refills. I think theres all of those things are different a little bit. You know what im saying. Hes a fun killer in the day and the night, clearly. This guy has no fun ever. But i agree. They shouldnt have to close at 2. 00 thats part of new york. The city that doesnt sleep. San francisco goes to sleep at midnight. In new york, thats what you expect. Stephanie tucked in a gay way. Totally. Stephanie mary in chicago for kathleen. Caller hi. Kathleen, every time someone says congratulations to me, im like why . I hated giving up smoking. I loved smoking. See if i say that out loud, people say if i dont say woody allen movies, what is wrong with you . Caller i get the same crap. I loved it. You say oh, how could you love smoking . Have you tried it . I dont judge heroin people. 45 years and i had three teeth pulled. I got the same story you got about the die socket. I like that. You call it the story. Stephanie dry socket warning. Shes going on the same path i am. When they tell you the story, the irish kicks in. Thats just because you dont want to get thats just explain what dry socket is for people who might have missed it . Stephanie kathleen had a couple of teeth removed. There is a hole there where the tooth is. If you smoke, the sucking because that hole is very shaky. So when you the story is which is true is that the sucking thing of smoking will go and then that thing will sink that, hole. When the road collapses, a sinkhole. It becomes a sinkhole and a blood clot forms and bursts in your mouth. [ explosion ] stephanie wow. From now on, there will only be wet sockets in new york city. Stephanie it reminds me of the story your head would explode if you ate pop rocks and drank cocacola. But see, this is a true story. Well, my brother said it was. He could also just be a pansy. I dont know. Thats why you gotta ask other people. Have you ever heard of this . I dont think i googled it. Stephanie you are right about woody allen movies because Andrew Dice Clay could be nominated for an oscar. I saw the new woody allen movie. Good for you. Then i walk away. Stephanie dice man. Im sure one of your favorite comics as well. Hickory dickery dock. Might be nominated for an oscar. Andrew silverstein is his real name. Stephanie i dont know what youre implying. I dont know who should be more offended, the jews or the italians. Hes a nice, jewish boy doing this and the italians are like hes not even ours. At least it has to be one of our own. I dont know. Maybe hes a fine actor. I dont know. Maybe sinbad can act. I dont know. Hes playing a stanley kowalskilike character. Stephanie in blue jasmine. All of the people. All i know is Justin Bieber is stealing my act. He shoved fans iphone down his pants. I take a twat shot, thats me. Justin bieber continued his recent state of weird behavior. He shoved a fans phone down his pants on tuesday. Wait a minute. That was even before weiner. I cant remember where that joke started. It is a man thing, isnt it, sending pictures of your junk. What men dont understand is nine out of ten women dont want that. Im too tired, if somebody sent me a picture, i would send them of an ashtray i have in my backyard i havent emptied. Eight months later, there are some butts in there i could smoke. Stephanie things get weird. First round of Anthony Weiner shots. A couple of years ago. Stephanie just saying. Ive mentioned this before. I dont think Barbara Boxer is going wants a picture of my boxer. It is the same thing with the affairs. The older men that go for the younger women. I dont think janet reno had 20yearold chippendales. Younger people. Lets just say younger people. Stephanie right. Okay. By the way, oh, im sure we all had this. My idiot right wing cousin is affected by the sequester and blames obama. Yeah. Stephanie jody from new jersey said steph, i had a lengthy facebook discussion with my cousin who is in the military and who starting tomorrow has to be furloughed every friday in essence of 20 pay cut. He had the nerve to blame obama who came up with the scheme. When i pressed him about how the sequestration came to fruition, he would say do you spend more than we make, should we go the way of rome. He votes for the very people who just cut his pay 20 . He said he was getting confused and had to leave the argument. So is the universe in danger . Is the u. S. In danger of being overthrown . Stephanie right. Youre saying things they dont say on fox. Thats why we close the embassies because of the vis god. Like i said, conservatism is conservative. Stephanie it gives them dry socket of the brain when theyre confronted with things they did not hear on fox. This argument is hurting my brain. I cant think anymore. Stop it. Stop talking to me. Stephanie all right. 18 minutes after the hour. We continue with Kathleen Madigan and congressman adam schiff coming up as we continue on the Stephanie Miller show. Announcer for a good time call now, 1800steph12. Current tv is the place for true stories. With Award Winning documentaries that take you inside the headlines. Real, gripping, current. Documentaries. On current tv. Stephanie it is the Stephanie Miller show. With Kathleen Madigan. I wonder if Charles Schulz approved that . I dont think he had anything to do with it. I think it was vince. Stephanie Kathleen Madigan, weve been talking a lot about the George Zimmerman verdict. Racism in america. [ nbc nightly news ] why looky. Racial profiling gone wrong. They didnt notice offduty chief who, you notice, is black. Pardon me. At least one cop has been disciplined for ordering the nypds highest ranking black officer out of his auto while the three star chief is offduty and parked in queens. If this doesnt tell you that racial profiling profiling is ad well. How you cannot recognize a chief with a department i. D. Around his neck. One officer did not believe the nypd identification that ziegler gave him. When one officer spotted his service weapon, he yelled gun. Thank god this didnt end differently. Both cops raised their weapons and ordered him out of the car. Theyre under record for Record Number of pedestrians being stopped and frisked, the majority being black or hispanic. Thats the police chief with an i. D. Around his neck in a service car. They do tell those fake ones in the New York Times. In times square, they have fake i. D. S. Stephanie right. I dont understand why this guy doesnt go on cnn and say that. Maybe no one wants to hear his story. If i was that guy, i would call every major media outlet and say here, you want proof . Im the guy. Im the guy. Stephanie we discussed last time that George Zimmerman was able to magically come up with a black best friend. He remember, to vouch for him. [ magic wand ] we were saying if we should be caught in some sort of incident, aisha tyler wont do it for me and wanda sykes wont vouch for you. I have made a deal with george wallace. He said he would do it. Aww. Hes older and looks wiser on top of being an imaginary black friend, hes wise. So i really think, unless you can come up with somebody better, ive trumped that. Stephanie okay. Because wanda would blame you. Totally. Kathleen, capable, crazy. Look in her eyes. Shes weird. [ laughter ] people dont say it but the woman is off. Its off. She got a look in her eye. She look like a leprechaun but shes nice. Stephanie she would be testifying for the prosecution by the time she was done. Im not sure. Youre supposed to take my side. What do you mean my eye is weird . My parents say it is lazy. I dont think so. Stephanie i really dont i went home and i go oh, my mom had it on. I said turn that off. By the way, what is wrong with my eye . Thats your lazy one. I was 42. We didnt do anything about it . Well, when you get tired, it closes. Wow, you raised seven times times you raised seven kids. That ones eye is wrong and she needs a nap. Stephanie wanda sykes never noticed you. Your other eye is overly ambitious. This is a type a and thats a type d. Stephanie it is just trying to make the other eye look bad. Could have had a patch and glasses. Stephanie one eye might be hyperactive. That could be it. Draining all the energy. Maybe the lazy one is absolutely fine. No, i never noticed it. Stephanie everything is relative. All right. Weve been talking about republican dysfunction. [ nbc nightly news ] dysfunction in washington. But it is republican, im just saying. L. A. Times, even by the standards of a congress thats earned a reputation for dysfunction this past week, the last before a long summer recess, set a mark for futility. If you thought they could do less than nothing, theyve achieved that. Republican leaders in the house hoped to pass a bill providing money for several government agencies. Instead, they halted the vote after a g. O. P. Campaign hit an unexpected roadblock. Rank and file republicans refused to approve cuts that home state governors and mayors rely on to fix streets and bridges. Conservatives were stunned their more moderate colleagues could not stomach the reductions they had agreed to as part of an austerity republican plan. They need to finish the fight with themselves. They do less than anyone else can get away with. When they say were going to shut down the government, we all said were not going to work today. They actually leave town. They take it to a whole other level. Not only am i not going, im going to reno. Chaching. They just leave. The whole thing is completely inexcusable. I dont know at what point do people get angry . Stephanie we were talking about this, the wings that Chris Christie and rand paul represent, dana wrote a piece, rand paul rebuked on foreign aid. I dont know if you saw this. The 8613 vote, he wanted to strip all aid to egypt. I love that he brought up oh, you know, detroits this and we should be doing he wouldnt vote to give money to detroit either. Right. He wouldnt give money to anybody. Go on that side of the discussion because were still having a discussion about who gets money. So yeah, then you cant be into the discussion. You have to have your own discussion. Stephanie you finished chatting amongst yourself. Peter in ithaca. Hi. Caller i think youre giving rand paul theyre not giving him his due. I think they ripped between him and john mccain over foreign policy. Mccain wants to go to war. At the drop of a hat. Rand paul wants us to get out. And stephanie rand paul wants us to do more than get out. Excuse me . Stephanie rand paul wants to do more than get out. Okay, that was a troll. Im sure he had more thoughts directly from Rush Limbaugh. 29 minutes after the hour. Back with representative adam schiff next on the Stephanie Miller show. Were going to places where few others are going. It doesnt get anymore real than this. Vanguard is about telling important stories that need to be told. Were patrolling the area looking for guns, drugs, bodies. Now in its seventh remarkable season, vanguard is the documentary series that raised the bar for excellence. Garnering the industrys highest honors for getting real and going deep. We go in and spend a considerable amount of time getting to know the people and the characters that are actually living these stories. People who want to live a racist life freely move here because they feel like they can. The impact of Phillip Morris in indonesia is devastating. Hard news, no agenda. This is vanguard. Next, only on current tv. Announcer Stephanie Miller. Just what i need coming off a blackout drunk. Stephanie it is the Stephanie Miller show. Not talking about Kathleen Madigan at all. 34 minutes after the hour. 1800steph12 the phone number toll free from anywhere. Senator Saxby Chambliss, republican of georgia on meet the press yesterday. Theres been an awful lot of chatter out there. Chatter means conversation among terrorists about the planning thats going on, very reminiscent of what we saw pre911. Stephanie when Saxby Chambliss says it, i automatically dont believe it but when adam schiff, democratic congressman from right there, two feet away in burbank says it, im scared. Good morning, congressman adam schiff. Good morning, stephanie. How are you . Stephanie i know there is little you can tell us or you would have to kill us but were going to listen for your tone of voice. Saw you all over the tv yesterday. Obviously, this is whats tough when youre talking about this stuff, right . First of all, you know, i think those of us on the left, sometimes have a reaction because we remember all of the dick cheneys of the world saying stuff we felt like was trying to scare us particularly into an unnecessary war in iraq. Can you give us a sense of how real you think this is, the amount of chatter were hearing from alqaeda . I think it is certainly judging from the Intelligence Communitys reaction and their confidence and the source of information and the collaboration, you know, something that is not your average typical death to the great satan kind of chatter, unspecific chatter but rather people that they find credible, that they think are a real threat. They dont have much sense of the location. But if youre briefing the president a couple of times a day, it is something theyre taking very seriously and we have to, as well. It is hard for me to compare to 911, you know, i do think weve degraded the core of alqaeda so significantly, the likelihood of something of a magnitude of 911 is happily fairly remote. I dont like the comparison but this is more than the usual, you know, disjointed chatter we often hear and i think in the postbenghazi era, were taking it very seriously and doing everything we can to protect our personnel. Stephanie i brought up the partisanship of this because you know, im sure you saw Rick Santorum on meet the press. Some people want the narrative that the president s bad, the president s weak. It is because of the president. Even Joe Scarborough who is no liberal, said, you know, im no fan of obama but thats completely untrue. He echoed what you just said. We have degraded alqaeda. He obviously did get bin laden, the Bush Administration didnt. This doesnt necessarily break down on partisan lines, does it . It doesnt. I think for the most part, members of both sides of the aisle feel the precautions that the administration, the state department are taking are responsible steps and you know, it is hard to make a case against the president that he hasnt been diligent in the effort to weed out alqaeda and go after its senior leadership. Hes been very diligent about it and you know, there are legitimate policy questions to ask about whether were making progress in the broader conflict because we now have not the core of alqaeda as it was but we have these franchises that you know are all over north africa and the Arabian Peninsula and elsewhere. That can be very lethal as well. It is a more diffused threat. Not capable of the same kind of coordinated attack we saw on 911 but it is capable of putting bombs on airliners as weve seen and finding new and ingenious ways to smuggle bombs inside of people, inside of printer cartridges and unfortunately, one of the chief and most creative of the bomb makers, is in yemen, part of a qap. Thats part of what were really concerned about. Stephanie representative, weve heard a lot of people yesterday especially on tv speculating and where do you think this is coming from . Obviously people are talking about the prison breaks and alqaeda members got out of various prisons around the world. The anniversary of 911 coming up, ramadan ending, is there something specific to the level of chatter were hearing in your opinion . Well, thats what were being told from the Intelligence Community that it is specific. It is not the usual, generalized chatter. I think you do add to that the other events you mentioned. Weve had three prison breaks in three Different Countries with a lot of taliban, with a lot of alqaeda fighters being released. Thats a grave concern. You have timing of the end of ramadan. You have the timing of the approach of 911. You have almost Year Anniversary since we saw those protests and attacks on our consulates and embassies around the world. I think the confluence of those events coming together plus the credibility of the sources of information puts us on a different level than what weve seen in the past and it is accounting for the broader response. Stephanie it seems like i remember a time we all used to be americans. I have to say i have to admit the partisan bias i think after the Bush Administration, all of the things we were told that led us into iraq, when someone like you or al franken or Dianne Feinstein says it, i reflexively trust it more. But i dont know where we go with that because like i say, it seemed like yesterday i saw a lot of people on breaking down on partisan lines on this again. Well, i dont think this is being used by anyone as an effort to justify troop offensive in yemen or anything like that. So i dont think this is the buildup to some military action in the future. I think probably more than anything else is the addition of very credible source of information, the Intelligence Communitys view. And the effort postbenghazi to take every step possible to protect our people. Probably much broader response, i think than would have happened in the absence of the tragedy in benghazi. This is kind of the new climate. The new responsibility. Stephanie my producer chris this morning echoed some of the suspicion of those on the left of going oh, is this just a big belly run for the nsa programs because people are having concerns about those. You know, the timing of this talking about this stuff or not. I dont accept that Conspiracy Theory that this is an effort to buck up the nsa or support for the nsa. You know, there are some folks that are out there talking about well, this shows the nsa program is effective and theyre inferring, i think, it is the one most under criticism, the domestic bulk Data Collection program. I think it would be extraordinarily unlikely that program played any role in uncovering this plot since were talking about an overseas plot and focused on primarily on overseas embassies and consulates, the collection of bulk domestic data probably is far removed from that. I dont think people should either leap to the conclusion that that program was responsible or affirm that. And that troubles me that that suggestion is being made. Stephanie lets pause talking to you while i play a sound byte of you yesterday. Here you are. You have to be very careful about how much you represent that any particular program has contributed to our security. Stephanie thats the problem, isnt it . When youre talking about stuff that you cant talk to us about. We dont know which particular program stopped what, right . Well, thats true. Particularly in a situation like this where were not talking about a historical plot. Something that happened five or ten years ago where the risk of disclosing sources is less because people are not going to be with that old information. This is ongoing. So we dont want to point to specific sources or programs. We dont want our adversaries to be able to change techniques or know how were gleaning intelligence. I think people have to be very careful not to disclose much about this but and at the same time, not to represent that programs that are under criticism right now are the source of our information. Stephanie what are your thoughts on russia giving snowden asylum . Well, you know, i think it is yet another poke in the eye, something that putin really relishes doing. They had every legal opportunity and responsibility to send him back to us. I think that you know, for putin, it is a chance to enhance his standing with his own people and also given the criticism that weve made of russia on their crackdown of ngos, the fact that journalists who expose corruption in russia are murdered with impunity quite frequently. This is an opportunity for putin to kind of fight back, push back and enjoy the discomfort of the united states. I think they should have sent him back and im deeply disappointed although not surprised they didnt. Stephanie yep. Absolutely. Adam schiff, thank you so much. Im going to decode. Play the tape backwards when i get home and i think aislings know what specific threats you were talking about. If you go to the beatles album and on the second track, i cant tell you which album because thats classified, play that backwards, it will reveal all. Okay. Stephanie weve got that on tape. All right. Thank you. Thank you, congressman. Talk to you soon. Take care. Stephanie there he goes, from the House Intelligence Committee, representative adam schiff. [ applause ] capn crunch decoder ring that for me. Stephanie right. There is an attack plan on missouri, your home state. [ dramatic ] he told me what for. Stephanie yes, he did. Didnt he . Little smackdown. I just teed you up. Little tee ball. Smacked you down. Conspiracy theory. Stephanie although, i did hear that they arrested somebody that googled Pressure Cooker somewhere. So thats a little concerning. Well, they did. But yeah. Stephanie i think she wanted to buy a Pressure Cooker to cook stuff. There are people who use those for cooking. I think my parents cooked potatoes in it every once in awhile. Stephanie you know im such a horrible cook, i would be arrested immediately. Dont try to pretend like you cook no pressure. If you want to cook. Stephanie hands behind your back. It used to be the fast way of cooking before microwaves. Pressure cookers . Faster than a crockpot. Shut up. Thats not possible. Faster than a crockpot. Stephanie shes from missouri. Where they worship the crockpot. I love the crockpot. Throw in anything. Taste it later. Who cares. Stephanie the magical purveyor of the hot dish to pass. 45 minutes after the hour. Back with the remaining moments with Kathleen Madigan live in studio. I got her number off the mens room stall. 1800steph12. Getting to know the people and the characters that are actually living these stories. People who want to live a racist life freely move here because they feel like they can. The impact of Phillip Morris in indonesia is devastating. Hard news, no agenda. This is vanguard. Next, only on current tv. cenk its go time its go time its go time go time. You know what time it is. Go time its go time. Its go time. What time is it rob . Here comes the young turks go time its go time. Oh is it . Oh, then its go time. Anybody . Anybody . What time is it . Oh, right. Its go time current tv is the place for true stories. With Award Winning documentaries that take you inside the headlines. Real, gripping, current. Documentaries. On current tv. I heard that Stephanie Miller people hear you talking like that, getting everybody caught up stephanie uhhuh. It is the Stephanie Miller show. With Kathleen Madigan yawning. Im still here. I fade in the last five. We all do. Stephanie come on. Come back. Look alive over there. All right. Stephanie 1800steph12 the phone number toll free. Kathleen madigan, we might see you where . Almost anywhere. September 12th you can go to the next Netflix Original and see my new special. Nice filmed in detroit at the royal oak theatre. Because i love detroit. And im on the road. You can go to my web site, see all of my little shenanigans. Would it be kathleenmadigan. Com . It is. You can follow me on twitter. Youve been tweeting during the show today. I havent sent out a tweet. Ive been receiving them. Stephanie you got your buddy to tweet. Hes still really bad at it. He doesnt really get the whole concept. He gets the concept but he doesnt like it. Hell have a Million People tweet him and somebody will go are you ever coming back to omaha. He would type the date hes coming back. Im like lou, they can go to your web site for that. Can i tweet this or will i get hate mail . Grow thicker skin, louis. Are you going to run stephanie somebody said something mean to me on twitter, isnt that what twitter is for . I do like theyre cracking down on the super many people. They are. How much can you threaten people and nobody pays attention to it or you dont get in trouble. Stephanie good news for Anthony Weiner. A different Anthony Weiner in boston has a way worse sexting problem. A boston man named Anthony Weiner has outwienerred the actual weiner. The boston wiener was arrested for sexting a 21yearold man from his wifes phone. Luring him to a home and threatening to torture him. He allegedly punched his motherinlaw at his wedding. How many people havent wanted to do that. Stephanie hes accused of sending a series of texts from his wifes phone. Weiner threatened a man who has not been identified with a wb gun and a with a bb gun and a power tool. Interesting combination. Stephanie when the 21yearold began vomiting in fear, he paid him hush money and put him in a cab. Weiner is claiming selfdefense. So that guy is a bigger douche than the original weiner. [ applause ] when it comes to wieners, sure. Im pretty sure he hasnt bashed anybody in the head. Stephanie he could be his new p. R. Director. [ circus ] stephanie did you read the whole slut bag rant . At some point, you just go really . Have you no shame . None . Where is shame anymore . Stephanie nothing. Nobody recognizes it. This group of people goes everybody does it. Its cool, its cool. Just get out there. Stephanie that was my favorite thing weiner said. Who can say how many women six, ten, who can say what anyone else thinks is inappropriate. I stopped counting. Most of us have a number. Most of us have a number. What . Stephanie i mentioned her earlier. Yertel, Mitch Mcconnell, his democratic challenger, Allison Lundergan grimes is plucky. I like her. If doctors told Mitch Mcconel he had a kidney stone, he would refuse to pass it because he wont pass anything. She is plucky. She said the president and i disagree on a lot of things. Senator mcconnell will use the same tactics to claim i was a cheerleader for president obama. Im as much of a cheerleader as mcconnell is a chippendales dancer. A little shot at the mcconnell physique. Shes one of five daughters in a devout catholic family but im also for separation of church and state. Supportive of the Supreme Court decision in roe v. Wade and this is the kind of choice that has to be up to the woman and her doctor. Shes giving mitch a yearly run for his money which isnt hard because he isnt very fast. You could have watched the reality show. Like i did. And learned more about the judge. That was so awesome. You should be more afraid of the mother than ashley. Stephanie the mother decides to run. Yeah. Shes a little controlling. A tad. Maybe a little narcissistic. A tad. Stephanie speaking of. [ cuckoo clock chimes ] before she goes, bat [ bleep ] crazy Michele Bachmann is calling on representative Charlie Rangel to apologize for negative comments he made about the tea party movement. [ nbc nightly news ] im not going to apologize for that. Its all true. Tell me something thats wrong that i said. Stephanie he said of them, its the same group we faced in the south with the white crackers and the police. Bachmann tweeted she would set up meetings for rangel to complain his comments. Or you can pick up a history book. I prefer creepy ass cracker. But ill go with that one. Stephanie favorite kind of cracker, creepy ass. Like the pretzel crackers. With the ranch. Anything goes good with ranch. Throw it in the crockpot and you have boiling ranch. [ laughter ] dont tell me you dont want to dip into that. Stephanie cool ranch. Boiling hot ranch burns the skin off the inside of your mouth. [ nbc nightly news ] stephanie did you see this . Gay couple forced to the back of the bus in albuquerque. We need a gay rosa parks. It was albuquerques pride festival. A gay couple said they flew into the city minutes after arriving getting their bags, a shuttle bus driver at the airport forced them to sit in the back of the bus because they were holding hands. This happened a month ago because the couple has not received an apology from the Shuttle Bus Company is and is considering legal action. I saw him look down at his hands, he looked angry. He said if youre going to do that, youre going to the back of the bus. Oh, my god im sorry. Is this grade school . You dont get to tell me where im sitting. No in the weird in between where youre my new dad. Stephanie you didnt have my my bus driver was terrifying when he was going to Catholic School in lockport, new york. Werent you rich . Our Catholic School didnt have buses. Seriously. Stephanie are we going to have this fight now . They would show us a slide show of the vaticans art collection. Could the pope let go of a michelangelo. We could get a bus around here. Stephanie you would be a foot from the bus stop. She would leave on purpose. Good for her. You know what, it teaches people be punctual. Im always early. I hate late. Im with her. She was probably smoking while she was driving, too. Love it. That lady should have been my older sister. Stephanie all right. Said Kathleen Madigan who came in halfway through the first segment. [ laughter ] well, im always on time. Im always on time but i was texting travis so im going to throw him under the bus. I dont text and drive so travis, guess what, every word i type, im 30 seconds late. Thanks, travis [ laughter ] stephanie one last gay if you could take your organ brian fisher, do you listen . He said american gay activists should support russias controversial gay laws in the spirit of diversity. I think hes engaging in snarky humor. He said he sees pervasive culture of multiculturism. He suggested those calling for a boycott embraced the russian laws because they should be about celebrating the wonder of diverse cultures. They ought to be excited about this. Weve got plenty of room in our multicultural world. Isnt it wonderful . [ buzzer ] hes pulling the christians are being discriminated against card. Oh, right. I like that its a trend. Are you trending . Its a trend. It is not really a trend but okay. Throw that in at the end to make it insignificant. Stephanie exactly. Kathleenmadigan. Com is where you can get your Kathleen Madigan needs met. Thats it. Im going to valentine, nebraska. Who will be there . Me and the indian tribe thats liared me. I love them. Stephanie see you tomorrow