To the title of your book, hows your faith. Guest it was posed to me by president bush who asked the question numerous times and i wrote about it before i got the job at meet the press. He heard through a mutual friend that i was studying with someone we both know, the locals caller in our area and that i was generally trying to deepen my face and so i was meeting with him in the oval office and we were talking about the economy and he was giving advice on how to weather public scrutiny. Every time he asked that question i found to be such a penetrating question. He might be startled people were asking that but i never found it inappropriate. It was the context that he heard i was studying and i said to him im studying the bible and im trying to deepen my faith. He talked about being in the bible every day and he relied on the strength and belief to the darkest days of the presidency. His own journey into path of faith. As we both know for the secular elite liberal is to talk about their faith. You talk about it very openly. Those that are atheist or agnostics. How have you found the reaction to your talking so openly. Guest do not accept the liberal label. Host i am talking about a journalist. I am not at nbc anymore but even when i was people were respectful of it and i think that you are right to talk about it very openly as something that takes people back. Its kind of culturally an anathema to speak of faith so openly and im still a journalist and i understand what that means. I am not arguing the point that it seems a bit unusual. When i talk about my years in the bush years it is about the journey of life which is asking the question who am i trying to become and being on the path of strengthening the relationship with god so it feels good and its who i am and who ive been comfortable becoming and so far that reaction it that reaction has been pretty comforting and supportive. Host did you know that you were going to do this book, do you feel like you were called to do this book . Guest the book was in the works before meet the press. When i was covering president bush and began thinking about this aspect of my life since my kids were young i think one of the things leaving nbc did for the buck has allowed me to become even more grounded in faith to spend more time on it anyway that i dont know i could have been opened to spend on it before whether it was doing additional interviews are going down the road of the reflection to add to it. My leaving nbc is a small portion of the book. I have no interest in settling the score were do anything else like that so this is something that happened before. I think its getting stronger. I think ive grown in spirit and i understand what it is to know god. He said its like asking someone if you believe in love. I feel like i have a stronger relationship with god and i feel more grounded in faith through prayer and study and learning that allows me to try to be more humble tuesday night as and to see my weaknesses. I put some important things before me. There are expectations seeking meaning and purpose in my life and those are things that are present every peso in those ways it isnt just a project for me. It was told in new york it should be an act of love and i think im well into that realm. Host you said you felt it was a little bit of a project that you would be sort of going at it to be the best that you could possibly be. Thats what they have to cast away and thats what it is. For me on a dalia basis its discovery. I was reading something this morning in solemn 23 which is so well known the lord is my shepherd i shall not want and there is a line and that to me is the headline of the day. Im looking for a clean slate and thats what it is to me almost a dalia discovery and that is the truth that seems to me. Its another to know the kind of reality around the truth like that but i think is comforting. When you say to you say you shouldnt ask a question do you believe in god what but is the question that you should ask . Who are what is god to you. Guest let me start by saying i think the question for me because one of the things i want to talk about is this is my own path. Where is god in this situation opening your heart to the presence of god is the question for me to do so through prayer to listen to the scripture as well as to listen to the scripture and listen to god. Its always seeking to be close to god and to see gods faith as a president who bears witness. Whether a joy and pain or personal failure. Host do you have an identification with a personal . Do you think there is a god that says david heres what i think you should do or shouldnt do this. Do you pray . Who do you pray to and what do you pray . The question is interesting to ideal even a personal god . Personal in that i feel like beginning to know god i dont know the answer youre the one that gave me this great line on the Bumper Sticker which i used is there a person, i dont know yet im very inspired by the teachings to study christianity first. I think that he reveals things through. Its through the bible and through the new testament so there is a lot that is revealed in that. I prayed for forgiveness and patience. To renew my life and to become better and to sort of hold me accountable. Host do you pray for things . I pray that he will watch and protect my children and the present for them and to bless us and our coming and going. I dont know that id arrived at a full understanding of whether i believe in free will and they say as i said before. If theres evil in the world people make all kinds of wrong choices whether there is still the possibility of choosing life and the possibility of reduction. Host when you pray for the safety of your children and the wellbeing of your children, do you expect that in some way your prayers might help to keep them safe . Guest i dont know i guess i hope so. I just think again the question for me and my family is where is god and i think that god is the love that surrounds us and is in friendship and pain and the idea that we can feel that god is close is to me very important and i wanted for my children and i guess it just helps my soul that i can express the vulnerability with my children out in the world that i ask is for them to be watched with a loving hand. Host you talk about the question of suffering in hell does anyone explain and all loving god and an all powerful god how do you explain that and have you wrestled with that . Guest i dont pretend to have those answers. Why they dont like to talk about god very much be they used to be an intoxicated people and the holocaust changed that and its a titanic struggle. It is refrained of who will live and who shall die. Who should have good fortune and who should be tranquil and troubled and we are all of those things is an interpretation that would basically i will live and i will die and i will be troubled and anxious. God is present through all of these things and it is a kind of inanimate world of just molecule things happen. Its for the world that makes things okay. Your father was jewish, your mother was catholic. Your mother was an alcoholic and you chose judaism over catholicism. Guest they believe none of us choose it. Its also a path my parents decided on. Were they involved in the religious life more than anything . Guest the difficulty was catholicism and raised a catholic and thats kind of what she was and all she knew. My mother had for her and unfortunate experience and insisted on naming the child and found difficult to handle. She describes what occurred face along with it. The first child might be christian and catholic and the second born jewish and so on and thats ultimately how they were planning to do it with us but my mother she had lost her faith. Thats still the case for her in the recovering program that gives a great and a deep Spiritual Life today stronger than it ever was in the very deep belief in god but its through the prism. Host so then you married to somebody that wasnt jewish or protestant. Although she was religious herself and youve written about how you felt in some ways that you were selfish and insisting the children be raised jewish and that the religion was sort of pushed aside and that later you begin to realize how much of a sacrifice she had made. Why did she do that and say i agree when she was a religious person herself . Guest she asks herself that question still. I think at the time it is interesting that wasnt even more of a negotiation i think she was very gracious about it and thought of a this is important for him and he has a very strong sense of identity and felt at the time i still have my traditions and i will be able to walk onto them and be able to manage it. And it wasnt until we went along having kids when they realized this is a lot that ive given up and she describes is now having really thought about it and you are familiar with the temple its such a beautiful thing where he blesses all on the entire congregation that rises and he thanks them for us and then his voice for making the sacrifice as does everybody. She felt i needed it and was a gift to me and that it would be good for our children and she made the decision to do it but it accompanied the challenge in this question which i know what you are but what do you believe and she inspired me to go down this path of learning and how to live with meaning and purpose and what it meant to be a person of faith. She inspired me more than anybody else to go down that path and take that step because she said if youre going to lead the family and faith and lead us in faith and know what youre doing make that commitment horse also understanding more as a deeper person of faith is how they get the sacrifice that is. I encourage us to try to go to Church Together and we have taken our kids as well and try to speak about the tradition and i think despite the sense of sacrifice she feels i think she would also agree part of what we try to create is a religious practice and identity within our home as something that very much reflects christian tradition as well. Host do you think its been good for the children and for the family and your marriage that she made the sacrifice or do you think it might have been better if you have incorporated both . There are so many now i think Something Like one half of all our varying outside of the faith. So this is becoming war and more of an issue. Guest i would have liked from the get go a respect and inclusion of the christian tradition. I grew up celebrating having a Christmas Tree thats anathema to a lot of jews that will hear this and we do that as a family as well. If i look at the grandparents except for my father, everybody else is christian so thats important both for the rest of the family but also for our children. I think we both felt that its important to have an identity and not to try a dual identity but i think what we try to do is to understand how interwoven they are fully aware of the major differences and those can be sources of tension that are not readily available in our home. So i think what could have been better if all along i had tried to get outside of myself to realize this is a big deal how can we pay tribute and honor her in a way that makes her feel welcome being part as a jewish family as opposed to making her feel excluded if there were times that it was very painful where our children might innocently say that youre not jewish and make her feel excluded and that is a very painful thing and i can understand that and regret that and it can be exclusive in that way to outsiders. As weve come through this to this with the trials but also the joys and a commitment within the jewish identity. Host you have Christmas Trees and easter egg hunts. Guest you cant get more secular. [laughter] and by the way, i go out of my way to talk to the kids about the religious significance of christmas and easter and why as a family we do not deserve them or celebrate them in that way but that we should respect these are not commercial holidays or more secular. We may celebrate them in a way yet whats the deeply respectful with the deeply respectful of what it means to celebrate the birth and resurrection of jesus even if we have a different view about italian understand it. So i try my best in that regard he host you were the moderator of meet the press and then all of these terrible weeks started happening that you are going to comic were going to, you know youre going to get fired or maybe not in the back and forth. Then you were let go work with or whatever happened. Guest i like to remind people i was number one in the ratings which wasnt easy to do and i enjoyed my time on meet the press and im very grateful for it. Nbc was going through a difficult time into the nightly news ratings trouble and meet the press had trouble and i think we were trying to figure out not only the rating issue and how to evolve the program to make it my own especially when his shadow was so long over the program and frankly the genre of the sunday morning shows so all of those were challenges and i was trying to work through it and doing my best. It came to the place there was a lot of public scrutiny and there were a lot of internal leaks that could have only come from within nbc and they finally got to the point where i said what i understand washington and when theres there is blood in the water you have to be you have to shore up because it becomes a neat attracting from a pr trying to do and so i need the support or i have to go. It felt like i was being fired if they wouldnt support me it over the long term so i wasnt fired but it felt like i was going to. So i felt like it was best for me to call. Host why did that happen though blacks you were still doing very well. It was a business decision i didnt agree with but it wasnt my decision to make and what you know this town better than i do. It can be tough and i was disappointed about how it ended and i felt it was unnecessary and people at the highest level felt that it didnt go as well and thats it. Host you talk about how you wish now looking back maybe you could have had more friends to be more friendly to people. Is that true and how do you feel your personality was and how do you feel its changed since then . Guest i started early in the business into the vision when i was 18, 19 and nbc x. 25 so i was just progressing rapidly and was very ambitious and i think that people felt i was out for myself and some people thought i was arrogant or maybe just a aloof. My wife is very successful and i was focused at home with our kids and that meant a lot to me and i didnt socialize as much to people that knew me may know me enough to be connected to the family and and may have thought i was aloof and not working hard enough in the social scene or the washington scene. I always felt that i was doing a lot of work and trying very hard that i could have done a better job having more Community Around me shoving people are finding well, youre doing well and we are in this together so i blame myself for that and i felt again i dont mean to sound naive and i know washington can be tough. It was any different when i left and the didnt feel good and i tried to internalize that and realize well yes people may be jealous but what can i take away from it thats a little more constructive and i just have to own the fact that i think it turns some people off or alienated some people along the way and i would do that differently. I think whatever the next chapter is its been different and again on tv at 18 and then 44 to have a step back like this i didnt have any professional setbacks ahead of time so i had a humbling experience and i have to think a lot about who am i and who am am i. If im not this guy on tv does anybody care about me in this town or beyond. Host one night i was sitting next to you and we were talking about erika brown who is your spiritual adviser and a very good friend of mine and who is a brilliant woman and we were discussing her and you and your role as the moderator of meet the press and you were saying that one of the things you are talking to eric about either of them this stratosphere and it didnt feel real to you and you were trying to sort out how you handled the situation and still have a real life and be a real person because of the way that people perceive you. I covered washington for 47 years and i see this happens so often that people are in power and have power and lose power. I think that she was asking a question i hadnt thought deeply enough and couldnt think until i never thought i was losing at all. I had a sense of perspective even when i got the meet the press job i talk about this in the book. My wife said youre so much more talented and better looking now. Its what comes with the platform. So much was wound up in that i have a standing because of what i was on television and in Television News as opposed to who i am in the world and that was something i was trying to balance it if you have a public life have you conduct yourself there its all one life how you treat people and deal with the toxic nature of your business and how you use the influence you have and handle diversity these are all things that come together. Host when you say toxic nature of our business what do you mean . Guest theres a lot of backstabbing and gossip and you cannot be thought about again. I think its the nature of the business in Television News which i know best. For the people that are on television and catering to them and making them bigger and more influential and there is a lot of difference to people in our culture that are in television generally and in Television News so that creates a lot of competition and it doesnt always bring out the best in people. Again people in me can bring out the best in them but doesnt always and so i think there is that toxicity. I tell a story i wrote about and about one day that was a very tough piece in the Washington Post about the challenges i was facing and it was a tough piece. Host they brought in a psychologist or psychiatrist. Guest which wasnt true and we brought in a Marketing Specialist who was trying to take my best attributes and make that part of a marketing campaign. Unfortunately it was reported in that way but this was the part of the landscape and anyway, as i was dealing with that i asked if she would come and study with me for some guidance and when you call by the spiritual adviser slime on the phone and i say im bloodied and bruised but Still Standing and we are trying to get help with the enemy seat and she said im listening to you and if youre not talking about love at all you know whats going on, and no im not talking about love. I do think that and she said to me we study the different proverbs that say if you you established a path all of your ways will be true and as she taught me that lesson she said imagine that you are walking through a maze. Who are you and who is it that you want to be because these are the spiritual tests are you going to get into this anger and resentment or is th