Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 2016

Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 20160623



>> women in saudi arabia love bumper cars at amusement parks but not for bumping. they see it as a chance to get behind the wheel in a country that be bas female drivers. captioning sponsored by comedy central [cheers and applause] >> larry: thank you very much. yeah, welcome to the show. thank you very much. so kind. i'm your host larry wilmore. we have a good show. rapper m1 is on the show tonight. now, when i think of charlie rose i think of two things. number one international sex symbol. number two, accomplished journalist, right? here he is this week asking joe biden about the middle east and it seems he has confusion on who is interviewing whom. >> we have a problem overthrowing dictators like mubarak and gadhafi and saddam. >> my question was what happens he's gone? doesn't the country disintegrate? what happens then? ok. i know the first step and the second step. what's the third and fourth step? [laughter] >> larry: i'll tell you what the fifth step is answer the question. you answer the questions. actually biden is pressing for his own white house show, afternoon joe with joe biden. i'll ask the [bleep] questions. all right. moving on this week was the summer soltice giving us the shortest nights of the week. let's check in with what's happening with the unblackening. my favorite song. now donald trump has taken the denegrofication of the white house even his finances are moving out of the black and into the red. >> with months to go before the general election he's is broke. >> the trump has $1 million cash on hand and hillary clinton has $42 million. >> larry: oh, my god. hilary is outcashing trump which would be the same at the age difference between trump and his future fourth wife. look out slavic ladies who were born in 1987. and his financial woes seem ironic considering his tweet from a month ago, i quote, more cash than any campaign in the history of politics. his social media is even more dishonest than mine. sorry, nancy i didn't want you to have the best birthday ever. i'm sorry. still if trump's lack of cash seems hard to believe wait until you hear how he spend what he does have. >> 17% of the campaign spending was dished out to trump-related entities like when there's an event. >> larry: in maine trump pays $423,000 to his own palatial estate mar-a-lago. here's the people donating, yay, take our money, we're stupid, right. [laughter] >> larry: all right. settle down. then candidate trump says i'm going to take that money and throw a big campaign event. how about that big tacky, gaudy gold leaf home and trump said good i own that [bleep] hole. and business man trump charges candidate trump full price. so both trumps profit while america takes the loss. that's called the mar-a-lago shuffle. it's classic grift. and mar-a-lago isn't the only place he runs the script when you search his financial record forwards the word trump you find over a dozen self-titled companies getting money from the campaign. this political show game is so transparent is why i don't name any of my companies for myself. i don't. that's so obvious. no, i give them weird names like bizzflash strategies and exocorp corpultions and quizno's. that's right. you didn't know i owned quizno's but i do. the sandwich change didn't accidentally hitch its wagon to a child molester for 15 year. ooh. we going to get in trouble for that one. we didn't do it, right? we did not. we did not. ok. and with all this talk about trump's shady finances the benghazi kid took to the podium and offered some zingers. >> he's written a lot of books about business. they all seem to end at chapter 11. >> larry: yes, there's one thing that will make hilary less stiff than the campaign is quoting from the 101 hilarious accountant jokes. well done, hilary. that wasn't hilary's only slam. >> she called him the king of debt. >> i called myself the king of debt. nobody knows debt better than me. a made a fortune using debt. >> larry: this man has no shame. he's actually proud of debt. i've never seen anything turn more [bleep] into fools gold than trip maybe when you're that orange it just feels comfortable being in the red. ok. so here to tell us more about his recent campaign finance troubles is the remember nominee himself, donald trump. [cheers and applause] >> larry: now mr. trump how do you explain your campaign finance. they seem so dismal. >> excuse me, excuse me you're dismal ok. my finances are fantastic. they're at an all-time high of being at an all-time low near the highest terms in terms of lowness you'll ever find. ok. >> larry: that doesn't even make sense. >> look when it comes to my finances i'm completely in the black ok when is the only black i've ever been in ok. sorry, omarosa but not going to happen. >> larry: ok. that's revolting all right. how come you don't care about your campaign's money troubles? >> because i am the king of debt. i am number one at world-class debt. ask anybody in atlantic city they'll tell you when you're trum many losing is the ultimate form of winning. >> larry: so you admit your candidacy is just an excuse to funnel money to the trump empire. >> that's right, it's geneous, isn't it? "the new york times" reported i paid over $1 million to my businesses and family members in may alone. hell, i even paid my son eric and he's a [bleep] idiot. >> larry: i think starting to find common ground. that's really not something to brag about really. >> look, he's the most unbelievable fantastic idiot% you've ever met, believe me. so look the american people like me because i'm the only person in history running as a true american. i'm piling on massive debt and leaving a trail of cheap memorabilia in my wake. >> larry: wow. that does sound america. i guess we deserve it. trip everybody. we'll be right back. i am rich. in my gentleman's quarters we sip champagne and peruse my art collection which consists of renaissance classics and more avant-garde pieces. yes, i am rich. that's why i drink the champagne of beers. hey troy! hello so, thanks for testing our new car service today. oh, no problem. this is the nicest ride sharing service i've ever been in. i'm so comfortable...i could take a nap right now. so, our rates are a little bit different... okay we charge by the amount of gas consumed. ooh since we traveled 4.43 miles and this chevy malibu offers an epa estimated 47 miles per gallon city. your total is... 20 cents. 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"may i be excused?" get the new xfinity tv app and for the first time ever stream live tv, watch on demand, and download your dvr shows anywhere. >> welcome back. the nba has countless conspiracy theories we heard the draft lottery is rigged on shaquille o'neal is in the pocket of big talc. anyway, it seems like the nba finals between the cavaliers and warriors were talked about the latest installment of the why file? hey, guys. so ok what's your take on the nba finals? you think they were rigged? >> larry, i'm delighted to see you're finally comprehending the world at a first-grade level, my brother. we ask ourselves in the community, ciu bono. who benefits? >> larry: thanks for the italian translation i guess. >> all right. some people say the networks because if there are more games they sell more ads but that's not true because the bulls went to the finals six times. the bulls never had a game seven. >> you lose. of course they're rigged. what is is this amateur hour? it was rigged by the republicans. it's a republican conspiracy. >> larry: mike what could the gop possibly have to do with the cavs and warriors? >> come on oblivious b.i.g. daymond green was suspended and what a been hitting the ball for the past six months? donald trump you guessed it. >> larry: technically i didn't guess it but donald trump has nothing to do with the nba, mike? >> really? then what did steph curry's wife tweet it was rigged and then delete it. >> larry: because she didn't want to look bad. she was in the heat of the moment. >> i'm about to morpheus that. she is from toronto, canada maple syrup, pancakes, dennys, who hates minorities? donald trump. what! >> larry: that is completely insane. >> is it now well, cleveland is 53.3% black. the same percentage of points lebron had in the 2015 playoffs. how do you explain that? exactly. >> larry: how much time do you have to do all this math first of all and what's with the racial composition have to do with lebron james. i don't understand. >> larry, what's happening in cleveland in july? >> larry: the republican convention is in cleveland. >> give that man who just pulled his head out of his [bleep] a cigar. they rigged the finals so they could win. >> larry: how does that affect draymond green playing. >> if they would win the people woul riot and the g.o.p. could not afford a warriors win. the republicans don't hang in the city with angry negros. >> larry: you're saying they were inclusion through game five and game six. >> exactly and ayesha doesn't even know what was up she accidentally came upon the truth with her heat of the moment truth. >> larry: oh my god this all makes sense. i think i agree. the finals were rigged. it was the republicans. you convinced me. >> indeed they were, my brother, but this is nothing but a smoke smokescreen for what i want to talk about and is just a government clone. >> larry: so you had me and now you lost me. we'll be right back, everybody. ♪ only t-mobile lets your family stream all the video and music you want from your favorite services- free-without using one bit of your lte data. plus, you can roll your unused data forward. and right now, get a free line for your family. when you get 3 lines for $40 bucks each the fourth line is free. switch today. the bud light party believes in change. that's why bud light has a new look... ...and we want to share it with everyone... jackpot! still the same refreshing bud light. with a new look. introducing pizza hut's first $5 flavor menu. just five bucks each when you order two or more. say yes to a medium one topping pizza. yes to wingstreet wings. yes to new stuffed garlic knots. and much more. it's easy to say yes to our first ever $5 flavor menu. only at pizza hut. if i booked a hotel in advance i wouldn't need one at the last minute. sorry, captain obvious. don't be. i've got the hotels.com app, which makes it simple to book a room for... $1,000. sorry. or $500. or $100. sorry. or $25, but it won't be here. you can stay with me. thanks. i've already lost enough today. hotels.com. safer than a stranger's house. >> larry: welcome back. our contributors. and rapper m1. and joining us on twitter using the hash tag nightly. we've been having a gun control debate like after every mass shooting and gun violence is now part of everyday life unfortunately. the past father's day weekend 59 people were shot in chicago, 10 at a block party in west philadelphia and 12 people shot in detroit. my question is does gun control feel like a solution for what's happening in these communities? >> to me i would say not. the difference is going to come in a difference in vibration on a real revolutionary. gun control feels like blaming the victims somewhere or they're not helpful or have to arm our ourselves to the teeth but in our community you never hear about the positi victories or the creativity or hear about our connections that matter but we do always here about chicago being the highest murder rate in the world so the narrative has to change to create a different vibration and i'm not sure that happens through gun control legislation. >> brothers don't by them from guns are us so it's not going to help. we don't fill out forms. thugs buy them out of somebody's trunk. so that's not going to help. by regulating assault rifles unless you're talking about banning all guns it's not going to help. they usually use hand guns in the hood. usually. >> glocks. >> larry: what do you think we can start seeing a secure because we keep talking about when the mass shootings happen but when this happens we're at a loss to know what to do first? what is the first move? >> well, i mean, one of the first moves something that could be helpful is i don't know, better education. how about that. it would be nice. >> it would be cool if this we ended systemic racism. that might help. >> it's so much deeper than just talking about guns and label issue. >> they talk about it like black people in the hood don't know how to act let me tell you something most people out in the streets are doing it because they see that as that's their way to survive. they're starving and you want to eat and when you get a gun they feel powerful and if they're hungry they're going to eat so it's people not knowing how to behave you have a situation where people are under educated they're in disenfranchized neighborhoods and still have to eat. poor people have to eat. >> it's also not black poor people, it's poor people in general. not just black. it's poor people in general. >> i think we have to change the narrative. like he was saying at the end of the day we can focus on our new weapons. we have to weaponize ourselves with creativity. there's some heroes in our hood who have armed themselves with other than guns. >> larry: how much do you think the glorifictaion of guns in the culture makes a difference. >> i think it makes a huge difference. it's ridiculously huge. the couple things i've learned from hip-hop videos is a, have a gun in my hand and b to have in the other hand a big booty hoe. >> and fill out the other hand. and preferably a big booty hoe with guns in her hand. that's it's being glorified. >> it's been glorified for a long time. >> larry: the wild west was all about that culture. it >> there's violence in the world so it's hypocritical of talking about disarming here and bombing and droning everywhere else in the world and at the end of the day people are fascinated by guns. it's unbelievable to me at the beginning of the nation you start a new country and you write in an amendment that says hey, you can have guns. what? why? don't have you other issues to deal with. >> larry: think at that point the issue they were dealing with needed guns. >> they won the war. >> larry: with guns. >> not with farmers and guns or accountants and guns with the military. that's where guns should be in the military to protect our country. >> our military was farmers with guns. >> but we won that war and don't need them anymore. i don't feel we need to have the right to bear arms now. it's not -- like we don't need to go -- >> you would be happy with the second amendment going >> oh, yeah. the constitution was meant to be a living and breathing document. it's supposed to grow. >> larry: did you have guns growing up? >> there were guns all in my community and a didn't come to understand them until someone said a statement in oakland, california about guns and then have you hip-hop, love peace and fun and it wasn't built on the foundation of guns but it was a weapon of our community. we have to pick a bigger weapon. >> larry: like our minds. our minds. all right. we'll be right back. hen you order two or more. say yes to a medium one topping pizza. yes to wingstreet wings. yes to new stuffed garlic knots. and much more. it's easy to say yes to our first ever $5 flavor menu. only at pizza hut. i am rich. with fans clamoring for our next hit album we return to our extravagant private studio where we turn gold into platinum. yes, i am rich. that's why i drink the champagne of beers. is the world truly ready for a vehicle that can drive itself? 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