There was one wooo thank you. I appreciate that. Some people appreciate the unblackening. I dont know if we should appreciate that. Trump pretty much wrapped up the republican nomination last night, you guys. Its true. And the gravitas of the situation was perfectly captured by americas leading political news team. So take it away, diamond and silk. He won indiana he won indiana trump just won indiana. Boom. Give me a t you got that t you got that t give me a r you got that r you got that r give me a u. You got that u, you got that u larry give me a vomit bucket. When trump saw this, he said, indiana was a state ted cruz had to win. So after trumps victory, cruz was forced to do some soul searching. Or, more accurately, cruz had to do some searching in the vast empty space where a soul should be. And that, of course, is when ted cruz called it quits. We are suspending our campaign. Together, we left it all on the field in indiana. Larry now, of course, the field is what ted cruz refers to as a basketball court. laughter during his speech last night, ted cruz delivered a heartfelt message to Carly Fiorina. To Carly Fiorina, who has been an incredible, phenomenal running mate. Larry yes, she was a phenomenal running mate, for the entire 144 hours and 32 minutes she was on the ticket. She could have left her car running. Its ridiculous. Here now to give us his perspective on what went wrong with the campaign, is cruzfiorina strategist, chad estrada. cheers and applause hey, chad. Thanks for having me. Its a sad, sad day lawrence, larry im sure it is. So immediately after Carly Fiorina was put on the ticket, ted cruz went on to have his worst week of the campaign, culminating in his dropping out of the race. You tell me, what went wrong . I have no idea we drew up a kickass strategy, which carly followed to a tee and, boom, nothing. The whole goddamn thing bleep , thing bleep , the bed. Poop everywhere. Larry wait, this past week went exactly as planned . Hell, yeah. Heres what we told that lyin ted. Larry wait, the Cruz Campaign calls him lyin ted, as well . Oh, god, yeah. That guys a sociopath. We call him lyin ted. Anywho, heres what i told him. Lets pick a running mate for a failing campaign from a campaign thats already failed. Right . Makes sense. Larry that doesnt sound smart. Second part of my plan, make carlys first public appearance as awkward as possible. I know two girls that i just adore im so happy i can see them more ooooh shes killing it play that back. Play that back. Larry no, dont play it back. I dont think thats the definition of killing it. It seems like youre making horrible choices. You say horrible. We say genius. Like this move i came up with. laughter larry you told her to fall off the stage . Thats a terrible thing to do yes, i did. Were going for that Jennifer Lawrence thing, where you fall and you get more popular. Everybody thinks youre cute. Larry first of all, that was, like, three years ago. No one remembers that. Everybody rememberthat. Larry second of all, its a terrible idea. Do you have any experience doing this . Larry, ive been doing this for years who do you think told mccain to pick palin . Really . Theyre still talking about that. Im a legend, okay. Larry i think for the wrong reasons though. Okay, i understand why this happened. I gotta go, larry. The Sanders Campaign needs some me. And i think he needs to play up his age a little bit. Larry okay, good luck with that. Chad estrada, everyone cheers and applause so last night, a couple of cruzs reprehensible traits were on display. Look at the hug cruz gave his wife. laughter damn, ted cruz i mean, we know you know your war on women is supposed to be a metaphor, right . Now, everybodys been replaying this elbow moment since it happened, but, guys, what you may not have noticed is the look of horror on heidis face when ted, like, leaned in to kiss her. To my amazing wife, heidi. slow motion to my amazing wife, heidi. Larry she looks like, hold on. I agreed to marry you. I didnt say anything about kissing. Heidi cruz also endured a notsosubtle coughing fit. Growing up in a working class family, our american freedoms were not lost. I love you, mom coughing larry it seems like heidis allergic to her husband. In fact, this is true, this is true, we actually uncovered some audio for that growing up in a working class family. Help me. Our american freedoms were not lost. Stranger danger. I love you, mom. Zodiac killer. laughter larry but for those who are i think she said Zodiac Killer. Im pretty sure. But for those who are surprised by this family values candidates mistreatment of his family, here are some recaps depicting ted cruzs relationship with his daughters. This is not made up. I wanted to get a hug from caroline, and caroline did like she usually does. She runs away. If my daughter ca catherine, the 5yearold, says something that she knows to be false, she gets a spanking. In my household, when a child behaves that way, they get a spanking. Larry jesus. I now wish ted cruz had won, if only so his daughters could get some secret service protection. In the wake of this loss in indiana, our hearts go out to the cruz family, who now, tragically, have to spend actual time with their father. laughter but i have to say, i will miss ted cruz, you guys, not so much for who he was, but for who he looked like. I mean, on a given day, he could look like grandpa munster. Next day, he looks like kevin from the office. Then the next day, its that lady from maury who was trying to find out who the daddy was. Right, right . Another day, he looks like that guy in the background of the death star in return of the jedi. And then on another day, you could swear he was a blobfish. But on most days, he just looked like himself, the Zodiac Killer. Were going to miss you, senator cruz. Oh, and that kasich guy dropped out, too. Well be right back. cheers and applause there are two billion people who dont have access to basic banking, but that is changing. At temenos, with the microsoft cloud, we can enable a banker to travel to the most remote locations with nothing but a phone and a tablet. Everywhere where theres a phone, you have a bank. Now a person is able to start a business, and employ somebody for the first time. The microsoft cloud helped us to bring banking to ten Million People in just two years. Its transforming our world. Introducing pizza huts first 5 flavor menu. Just five bucks each when you order two or more. Say yes to a medium one topping pizza. Yes to wingstreet wings. Yes to new stuffed garlic knots. And much more. Its easy to say yes to our first ever 5 flavor menu. Only at pizza hut. Sip into summertime with dunkins frozen coolatta. Freeze up the flavors of summer with a Blue Raspberry or any other small frozen coolatta, for 1. 99. America runs on dunkin. [announcer] 6 seconds on the my man, dwyane wade you got this. You cool. Cool like a penguin in a tank top. Cool like a convertible with a snowplow. Like a streaker at a hockey game. Like a finger roll in february. Cool like a yeti eating frozen spaghetti. Wooo the cool, crisp flavor of gatorade frost. Play cool. If dark chocolate makes you feel like this. Then double dark chocolate will make you feel like this. Introducing tcho double dark chocolate farmstyle gelato, from tillamook. If stumpto n Cold Brew Coffee makes you go. And extra creamy ice cream makes you go. Youre gonna go. When you try this. Introducing stumptown Cold Brew Coffee ice cream, from tillamook. cheers and applause larry welcome back. So donald trump is the Presumptive Republican nominee, and lots of people are wondering if anything or anyone can stop him. To help us wrap our brains around things we cant comprehend, its time for another dash of black magic. Now, in the past, when weve done this segment, theres been a lot of how shall i say blackreacting. Thats when black people see magic tricks and lose their minds. Youve heard of this. Its even happened to david blaine. Lets show that clip. Open it, open it. Larry thats blackreacting. So tonight, im not going to do the trick. And youre in for a treat. Please welcome a very special guest, worldclass sleightofhand artist, eric jones hi, larry larry so, now, we still have our contributors here, who, i wont lie, have blackreacted in the past. But im going to stand here and prove you dont have to blackreact. And rorys here, too. Okay, so, eric, the only candidate left in the race is trump, who needs only 190 delegates to clinch the nomination. So are there any tricks up the republicans sleeves to keep trump off the ticket . Well, larry, first, you have to understand the phenomena of trump. As a republican candidate, he just hasnt been on anyones radar. Its almost as if, almost as if, he appeared out of nowhere all right okay im okay im okay larry okay okay okay thats impressive. I dont know how you did that. See . Im not blackreacting. Im highly rational right now because i believe in science. Were not all scared of the devil. Contributors, how are we doing . Hes the devil. Larry hes not the devil. Yes, he is larry hes not the devil. Okay, so, eric, lets get back to trump. Is there any chance . Is there hope . And once again, i am not going to blackreact. So show it. He does have a majority of the delegation. Heres the interesting thing larry so the delegates everyone thought would go to one candidate end up going to trump. Right. The other candidates tried this and they tried that. They tried being sane, they tried okay un, they tried being combative. They even tried being religious. But no matter what, he kept on winning. And all of the delegates ended up screaming larry aw, hell, naw hold me back be cool, man. Be cool i i am cool. Larry get back here i didnt blackreact. Even if i wanted to blackreact i wouldnt im just weirded out that trump might actually be the nominee. Larry eric, back to trump. With everyone else out of the race, all the republicans can do is unveil a big surprise at the convention. Ghost of Ronald Reagan . No, reagans spirit is too fragile for the grueling pace of a lastminute campaign. Larry i agree. What about paul ryan . Now he could swoop in and get a massive amount of delegates, right . He could do that, but if they think theyre being manipulated by the party, the big surprise happens hes the devil hes the devil give it up for eric jones, everybody. Even though hes the devil make your day supreme with dunkins new bacon supreme omelet breakfast sandwich, loaded with peppers, onions, and potatoes and topped with two slices of cherrywoodsmoked bacon and cheese all on a freshly baked croissant. America runs on dunkin. Your starting lineup. If you have allergy congestion muddling through your morning is nothing new. Introducing rhinocort® allergy spray from the makers of zyrtec®. Powerful relief from nasal allergy symptoms, all day and all night. Try new rhinocort® allergy spray. Alat gy and all night. If dark chocolate makes you feel like this. Then double dark chocolate will make you feel like this. Introducing tcho double dark chocolate farmstyle gelato, from tillamook. If stumpto n Cold Brew Coffee makes you go. And extra creamy ice cream makes you go. Youre gonna go. When you try this. Introducing stumptown Cold Brew Coffee ice cream, from tillamook. Larry welcome back. Im here with my panel. First up, nightly show contributor ricky velez. cheers and applause and nightly show contributor franchesca ramsey. cheers and applause and she stars in the show suits, which returns to usa this summer, and shes the global ambassador for world vision. Actress meghan markle. And for everyone at home, join our conversation right now on twitter nightlyshow using the hashtag tonightly. Okay, so i wanted to show you guys, this is the cover of the daly news today. I personally disagree with this. This would have been true like a month ago. I think it should be a baby elephant coming out of its mama with trump hair. Or it could look like this so today, john kasich dropped out. Cruz dropped out last night. I didnt think the Zodiac Killer would last this long. But that all makes yesterday different than today, because we are now in a trump reality. Theres no more denial. We are in acceptance mode. My question is how is this trump train going to be stopped . Oh, my god, i need all hands on deck. Everyone america, you need to get your bleep together break the glass amber alert everyone go down to the basement i mean, like, i am freaking out. I am really, really scared. And i dont know how were going to stop this, but we need to start think ago. I thought it up. I know how to stop it. We just have to make the doorknobs at the white house too big so his little hands cant open it. laughter applause little trump hand not being able to get inside the white house. Larry try to take the oval office and he cant. Its really the moment that i go, we film in toronto and i might just stay in canada. If that is a reality were talking about, that is a game changer in how we move in the word. Not all of us have shows that film. I film in new york i was saying he better build that wall to keep me in. Oh, man larry heres the thing. A lot of people thought he was going to fracture the Republican Party. I think he unites it now because they all hate hillary. Lets be honest about that. And now all of his arrows are pointed that way. Doesnt that unify the Republican Party . I have seen some republicans say they might actually vote for hillary because they dont like him. I think he is very polarizing. And i think a lot of people are, rightfully, scared. I really hope people pull it together because you cant be ambivalent. Larry i think john mccain said he wouldnt vote for him, right . Do you believe him . Everybody is that was like thats what he said, man. Thats what he said. But the other part of it, too, is yes, of course, trump is divisive. Think about just female voters alone. I think it was in 2012, the Republican Party lost the female vote by 12 points. Thats a huge number. And with as misogynistic as trump in sand so vocal, thats a huge chunk of it. Youre not voting for hillary when youre a woman because shes a woman, but you dont upon the world hes participating. We just watched a video of two women that argument doesnt really hold water anymore because people really do bleep with trump. I dont know why. I dont know whats going on. I just i think thats what happens when you eat too much fast food. Thats what i think. I think thats what fast foods doing to america. Larry yeah. What you said, it doesnt seem to have an effect on so many people. Isnt it crazy, though . Larry i agree with you. Black women. Larry i know,in, i know. You would think they would have some common sense. Larry so what do you think is the best way if hillary is the nominee, it looks like shes going to be the nominee, whats the best way to attack trump . She has to attack trump like eminem attacked him in the last scene of the eight mile. He just goes out there and calls himself trailer park trash and admits everything hes done wrong. I think hillary need to be super direct with him and say, explain to me exactly how youre going to take down isis. You know what, actually, explain it to me like im a woman, just like im dumb. His whole thing is he looks down at women. Just go straight for the jugular. Explain it to me because im so stupid. Larry the irony of that. Telling him to keep it straight is like the biggest bleep joke i have heard. He speaks in generalities. Say to him, actually, explain to me what youre going to do. Thats when, i think, he will fall apart because he doesnt actually have a plan. Larry do you think hillary needs bernies support or is it just her against trump . Does she need to rally all those people . Look, i dont think at this point its necessary. I think at a certain point, yes, its going to have to happen. Do we need to get all hands on deck at this point in hillary is in a really strong position right now. Just look at how much shes had in donations for her campaign. I think trump has raised 12, 20 million. Shes raised 200 and something million. Larry she lost to bernie last night. It was close but she still has so much headway. The big concern for me still, people are still feeling the bern. Thats thing, is, theres noct wrong with that but i have heard a lot of people say theyre not going to vote if hillary gets the nomination and that really scares me. Larry even against trump . I have seen so many people saying that and it really pisses me off. If you go to a shoe store and they dont have your sure, you dont burn the bleep store down. Some of us would still like to buy a sensible flat. Seriously, some people are going to have to suck it up come november. And i just dont want to see people throw their vote away because bernie didnt get the nomination. I think thats stupid. Thats crazy if you think that its really going to put people in a position where they dont feel mobilized to vote at all. Youre right, as well, obviously, bernie has brought so many youre right. You win. Bernie brought so many, especially young voters, to the table, right. How is that going to parlay itself in terms of hillary . I dont know. Larry do you think they will jump over and embrace hillary . To jump over to hillary . Come on, man, i dont know whats going on with the bleep no more. Im so confused. You have trump run ago this is a reality tv star running for president , and were supposed to be okay about it. Like, this is wild. Like, i dont whan to do. I really dont. I dont know who im voting for. Election daysome category i might take more drugs than usual that day, man. I might have to sleep through that one you know . Larry just like today. Yeah. Larry all right, well see whats going to happen. Well be right back. cheers and applause heineken is served in 192 countries. Its world famous. Like me. Come here. Look it happens all the time. Antonio banderas its Antonio Banderas from the movies. Enjoyed in 192 countries. Theres more behind the star. Give extra. Get extra. Propel electrolyte water. We put in the electrolytes. You put in the work. Propel electrolyte water. The only water with enough electrolytes to put back what you lose in sweat. Daddy doing work,d its funny that ive been in the news for being a dad. Windows 10 is great because i need to keep organized. School, grocery shopping. My face can unlock this computer. Thats crazy. Macbooks are not able to do that. Hey cortana, remind me we have a play date tomorrow at noon i need that in my world. Anything that makes my life easier, im using. And windows is doing that. cheers and applause larry thanks to my panelists, ricky velez franchesca ramsey, and meghan markle. And thanks to eric jones for being here. cheers and applause were almost out of time, but before we go, im gonna keep it a hundred. Tonights question is from an audience member named malcolm. Lets take a look. Hi, larry. If you had to choose between for the next four years being bill cosbys lawyer or Donald Trumps Vice President , which one would you choose . Keep it 100. Larry thats pretty easy. I will be bill cosbys lawyer and i will be the worst lawyer ever. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks for watching. Good nightly everyone thehill. Com it was a big day in politics yesterday. Devil spawn damien thorn lost
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