Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 2016

COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore April 1, 2016

Day, you guys. Thank you very much. Thank you for reminding me. I cant believe i ever forget this was pie dane. Thank you so much for remaining me. Everybody goes, we can have pie today . Oh oh oh oh sure, why not . Man, crazy weekend on the campaign trail. Lets check in with the unblackening. The can you rememberline county Sheriffs Office in North Carolina says theyre investigating if donald trump incited a riot. Larry hold on, guys. You cant arrest trump. How are you going to keep those cuffs on his baby hands . Theyll slip right off, am i right . cheers and applause thats how houdini did it. Foe get the inciting riots. Weve got to check in with the eye blackening. I know things began last week when a trump protester was sucker punched in North Carolina thrown by john mcgraw, a 78yearold guy dressed like a cowboy, who probably never thought hed experience the sweet joy of punching a black guy and getting away with it like he used to. Those days are gone and when given the opportunity to be remorseful, he doubled down yes, he deserved it. The next time we see him, we might have to kill him. audience reacts larry i dont like how casual old racist cowboy was when he said that next time, i dont know, we might have to kill him. The only thing missing was a yawn yawn i dont know, we might have to kill him. You do know youre talking about murder. A little too casual to say those words. Now if youre going to give trump the benefit of the doubt, youd assume hed disavow this guy immediately. Its possible you could help him with legal fees if this man needs it . Trump ive actually instructed my people to look into it, yes. Larry ooh, i hope its the same people who were looking into obamas birth certificate for trump, because those people are horrible, which means that racist cowboy is going to jail for a long time. laughter and this incident is not just isolated to old racist cowboy. It seems to be a trend. Oh, oh, oh larry this is becoming violent. There is pushing and shoving going on. I have never seen anything like this. Larry this is reaching a boiling point. Which isnt shocking since, we all know the Trump Campaign is being run by ghost of George Wallace and a toddler with a poopy diaper. laughter true fact, true fact. And truthfully, trumps funsize hands arent entirely clean here. I love the old days. You know what they used to do to guys like that when they were in a place like this . Theyd be carried out on a stretcher, folks. He was hitting people and the audience hit back, and thats what we need a little bit more of. If you see somebody getting ready to throw a tomato, knock the crap out of them, would you . audience reacts larry so heres where we disagree, trump. You say tomato, i say no, what the bleep are you talking about . cheers and applause bleep what do you mean knock the crap out of him . applause so trump is clearly inciting this violence. But the man who takes credit for everything cant seem to take credit for this. Do you accept any responsibility whatsoever for the escalated tension that takes place at your rallies . They werent really protesters, they were disrupters, they were like professionals. They had Bernie Sanders signs all over the place and made by Bernie Sanders people. I mean these were professionally made signs. Larry no, no, no, no. Hold on. Youre blaming bernie for the violence . Bernie is such a pacifist, he wont even apply pressure to get the wrinkles out of his own suits. laughter all right . What do you mean bernie . How are you going to believe him . Thats a tough accusation. Bernie, your response . Donald trump is a pathological liar. Larry yes cheers and applause yes true you are correct donald trump is a pathological liar, you guys. Its true. This man has no relationship to the truth. He divorced the truth years ago and has no visitation rights. None. Case in point, last week a protester rushed the stage at one of his events and here he is talking to chuck todd about it. I want to ask you, you said it was you praised the secret service, but then you said the man had ties to isis that turned out to be a hoax. I said no, no no no. He was he was if you look on the internet, if you look into clips people are looking at it very seriously now. But you have to check it before you ask the question. laughter well i know we have checked it. Thats my point, sir. Larry even when truth shows up at his door asking to come in from the cold, he treats it like a jehovahs witness. Now chuck todd had no luck getting through to this guy, but im going to see if i can. So please welcome donald trump. cheers and applause thank you im truly happy for you that im here, larry. laughter enjoy the viewers. Theyre great people. Larry all right, donald, look, there have been escalating incidents of violence at your rallies for weeks now. Are you responsible for this . Responsible for what . Okay . I dont know what youre talking about. I just got off stage at a tremendous rally here in whatever backwater dump of a town im in, and i saw nothing of concern. Unbelievable. Larry hold on what was that . I dont know what youre talking about. laughter look, i abhor violence, larry. Ive said it over and over. Look, i was just talking to someone the other day and i said you know whats the worst . Violence. Ive always believed that. Larry but it seems like dont interrupt me excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. I wasnt done larry all right. You know what . Man, i miss the good ol days where if someone in a lower class interrupted you, you could legally murder them. Larry wait murder . i cant believe you just said that audience reacts okay hold on just a second. Donald, those two guys are definitely fighting shouldnt you stop them . Excuse me. I categorically deny that theyre fighting. We call that Piggy Back Rides for trump. laughter thats all theyre doing, okay . Honest to god, thats all theyre doing. Larry oh, come on thats not true you just made that up. How much is Bernie Sanders paying you to harrass me . Larry Bernie Sanders is not paying me unbelievable. Unbelievable. This is the type of stuff our little communist friend from vermont is doing to try to stop trumpmentum. Who, by the way, hes doing so bad. Hes trying to stop me. Larry Bernie Sanders has nothing to do with this. This is all coming from you, youre inciting all of this horrible behavior holy bleep applause someones gotta do something hes attacking him with the flag excuse me. Larry what they were getting ready to say the pledge of allegiance larry no theyre not say it with me. I pledge allegiance, to the flag to the trump larry no, no, no thats a nazi salute im not going to do that wow, youre just going to see what you want to see. Very sad. Here fellas, knock yourselves out. applause larry okay. I dont know what to say. I dont care what you say, trump, people are hurting each other now. Whos going to pay their medical bills . Mexico. laughter believe me. Believe me, theyll pay for it. Larry youre the worst stay safe, america. Well be right back. cheers and applause cheers and applause hey there, can i help you with anything . Hey siri, whats at ts latest offer . Oh, i dont think that siri can. Right now, switch to at t for an iphone and get one free. Wow, is that right . Yeah, its basically. Yes. That is the current offer from at t. Okay siri, you dont know everything. I know you asked me to call you the at t hostess with the mostest okay, shut her down. Turn it off. Right now, buy an iphone and get another one free when you add a second line. Usic sex machine by james brown what backache . What sore wrist . What headache . Advil makes pain a distant memory. Nothing works faster stronger or longer what pain . Advil. cheers and applause larry welcome back. As the g. O. P. Tears itself apart in this election season, conservatives joined together on friday to pay tribute to their spiritual matriarch no, not the patron elephant goddess of the second amendment. Im talking about former first lady nancy reagan. Yet at mrs. Reagans funeral, a different former flotus got in trouble for making this comment about h. I. V. Aids. It may be hard for your viewers to remember how difficult it was for people to talk about h. I. V. Aids back in the 1980s. And because of both president and mrs. Reagan, in particular mrs. Reagan, we started a national conversation, when before, nobody talked about it. Larry it may be hard for you to remember, hillary, but Ronald Reagan didnt give a major speech about hiv aids until 1987 years after it became a national epidemic. His refusal to talk about aids is one of the most memorable things about the 80s right behind a young upandcoming actors starmaking appearance in the facts of life. Mrs. Garrett, ive been a Police Officer for three years, and before that i was a kid. Ive heard just about everything. cheers and applause larry i look exactly the same, you guys cheering larry hillarys comment caused a quick backlash from supporters in the l. G. B. T. Community, and she offered statement an apology more swiftly than she could throw a desk chair at whatever staffer prepared her for this interview. But what will be the political implications of hillarys comment regarding the reagans . Here with an indepth look is our very own grace parra. Hi, larry cheers and applause im here in sunny california, where everyones still talking about this seasons hottest party Nancy Reagans funeral. music larry no. No no no, grace. I know you like doing these celebrity gossip pieces, but that is totally inappropriate for a funeral. Oh, right. Let me start over. Im here in sunny california, where everyones still talking about this seasons hottest party Nancy Reagans funeral. slow music larry just because the music is slower doesnt make it appropriate this is the funeral of nancy reagan, a former first lady of the united states. But did you know that before they were in the white house, the reagans were hollywood movie stars . Larry that doesnt matter this is a solemn commemoration of somebody who died. Indeed, larry. Which is why we couldnt help but wonder did americas matriarch rock Oscar De La Renta for the coffin . music larry grace, stop. Grace grace stop it look focus focus for me. Focus. I wanted to talk about Hillary Clintons comments after she attended the funeral. And she wasnt the only person who attended. She was joined by other guests including ralph lauren, Melissa Rivers and mister t. Larry mister t . What does that have to do with hillarys comments . I dont know, larry. But i pity the fool who wasnt walking down this black carpet. music larry grace grace grace, this isnt okay. Do you have any opinion about what Hillary Clinton said about h. I. V. Aids or the reagans . Oh. Well, larry, i know that the reagans were good friends with actor rock hudson, who was a victim of h. I. V. Aids. Larry okay. Yes. Thats true. And i know that weeks before rock hudson died, the reagans ignored his requests for medical help. Because as a social conservative, president reagan would sooner turn his back on an old friend than acknowledge an epidemic that primarily affected homosexual men in america. slow song larry grace, did we really need the nightly nightly after that . But i did the sad one larry true, true. Sounds like you know more about the reagans in the 80s than i gave you credit for. Of course, larry. These people were hollywood stars and if theres one thing grace parra knows, its hollywood. Can i do the happy one . Let me do it, larry larry you can do the happy one. music larry alright. Grace parra, everybody. Well be right back. cheers and applause . Your starting lineup. Want to survive a crazy busy day . Sfx cell phone chimes start with a positive attitude. And positively radiant skin. Aveeno® positively radiant moisturizer. With active naturals® soy. Aveeno® naturally beautiful results®. Our partnership with habitat for humanity at pg e, we believe solar should be accessible to everyone. Allows us to provide the benefits of solar power to the types of customers who need it most. Pg e provided all of the homes here with solar panels. The solar savings can mean a lot, especially for lowincome families. With the savings that i am getting from the solar panels, its going to help me to have a Better Future for my children. To learn how you can save energy and money with solar, go to pge. Com solar. Together, were building a better california. cheers and applause larry welcome back. Im here with my panel. First up, nightly show contributor ricky velez cheers and applause nightly show contributor mike yard. cheers and applause and her new hit series underground airs wednesday nights on w. G. N. America, actor jurnee smollettbell. And for everyone at home, join our conversation right now on twitter at nightly show using the hashtag tonightly. Violence has been breaking out over the last week at trump rallies. Take a look at the latest example hey larry right, so we talked about this earlier in the show. Some say trump incites it and some people blame the protestors, so, whos really to blame for these violent outbursts trump, the protestors, the type of people he appeals to, or obama . I mean, i think you absolutely have to blame trump. You cant look at his rallies and see him say words like no, maam him out and if you do ill pay his legal fees and not take responsibility for your words. Youre encouraging your supporters to be violent. I believe you can only blame trump because you cant blame dumb people. laughter you cant. These people are dumb. They are sheep. They are sheep. cheers and applause i agree. Wearing camouflage inside. Theyre dumb people. This is america, man. A wall a choices. That man was 72 years old. If you cant control yourself at 72, kill yourself you dont have impulse control at that age larry as long as youre killing, why dont you start with yourself. Exactly. He hit that black kid like he was on his bucket list. Larry right. laughter larry he absolutely was on his bucket list. This is not just trump. The Republican Party i blame fully for this whole thing because they have been pushing this racial rhetoric for years. They have been pushing it, right. They have been blaming illegal immigrants. Trump is just saying it out loud and bluntly. But they have been blaming minorities forever. Larry its the example of chickens coming home to roost. Exactly. Larry and this is a big chicken roosting party. applause its a big chicken roosting party. Its so sad that we as americans have allowed trump to get this far. I cant believe were living in 2016. applause larry when you say allowed it, what does that mean . I think long ago he should have been called to drop out of the race. Larry but how do you get him to not run in he has the right to run. I mean, how do the other g. O. P. Candidates allow him to get this far . How do they not hold him accountable . Thats assuming hes responsible for these people. These people are not new racists. They didnt just decide they hated applause they have been around hes the leader now. He just highlighted it. Thats what he did. Larry trump showed up at a klan rally and said i got a cross, matches and gas, but i gotta go. Hes the dude in the high school that pulls you assayed and say, malik, that thing they have been saying about your mother, i dont know how youre going to let that slide. I mean, if that was me. Yeah, hes bully applause larry do you think trump wants people to fight at his rallies . Absolutely larry do you think he wants that to happen . Pes a bully hes a reality tv star thats what they do applause larry that is absolutely true. Every moment he loves that the news has him up there every day saying crazy bleep . He loves this, except when they come after him. Did you see him wearing that secret Service Agent . laughter like, hes gonna pun after man with a waib baby on his chest laughter larry some said the protesters are trying to shut down the rally, stop the rallies from happening. Do you think thats fair . Honestly. Larry they say it infringes upon first amendment. Its their right to protest, its their right to organize. I agree cheers and applause yeah, i think you have the right to protest. I dont think yohave the right to shut down anybodys ability to speak. Free speech is one of our basic rights. Larry but if it happens at a trump rally i dont care. I want him to talk. As i tweeted, i am taking pictures of his Television Appearances and rallies because im making a racist collage. laughter larry are you going to show your grandchildren . Im going to show people what america shouldnt look like. cheers and applause larry here is the things journalist Ashley Parker in a New York Times article wrote about the type he people she met following trump around. She said the 71yearold woman i talked to before the new orleans rally in told me nothing short of trump shooting my daughter in the street and my grandchildren would dissuade her from voting for him. Well, i think that statement says a lot more about how she feels about her daughter. laughter you dont know their problems, larry. Larry yeah, i know. I mean, i dont know. I think its definitely a sad time in america. You think about even his line where he says make America Great again, i kind of want to know what he means by that. Larry he means make america 1955 again. I think so. I mean, look, i love where i was born, but i would never want to go back to where my grandmother or great grandmother lived. Larry no. That time was not actually good for any of us sitting at this table. Think about the guy that punched that kid. Hes 78, right . So he was larry 1955 was awesome for him. Yeah. That was the bleep town fair, man. applause larry all right. Well be right back right after this. If you live in the new york city area or planning an event, grab free tickets to the nightly show. America, lets take a break from politics this month. Lets have a few bud lights and focus on what unites us all. Three weeks of nonstop basketball. Yes no enough attack ads and name calling. Yes, that was a foul you jerkface yes super smart to not mess up your tax refund. So we flew in super smart mathematician, maria chudnovsky, to help her. I have a lot of student loan debt. Can i deduct my interest . beep can amy deduct her student Loan Interest . In her case, yes. The amount goes right here. In your case, yes. The

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