Tomorrow, just a briefing, its about the email scandal. Turns out, its all okay. laughter or, she said she did not use the government email, rather she used her personal email because she did not want to have two phones. So really, i think laughter i mean, thats a super hassle to have two phones isnt she surrounded by people who doesnt she, like, have a Sandwich Team . Shes surrounded by a team of people at all times. She couldnt be, like, hey, man, could you hold this other phone some laughter guess not. But, you know you may remember from last week, House Republicans invited the Bibi Netanyahu to come to washington and explain why obama is so wrong to try and make a Nuclear Agreement with iran and then to have some cake because, when you invite a Prime Minister from israel, it is only polite after a joint session to provide a ganache. Thats the rule of my people. I will come, i will talk to your congress, but im hoping theres cake laughter its widely seen as a disrespectful gesture by House Republicans to a sitting president , so naturally, Senate Republicans wanted in as well. 47 republican senators meanwhile have now written an open letter to the leaders of iran warning them about any nuclear deal they may sign with president obama. Jon iran dont sign a deal with obama you cant trust him iran be careful we think he might be a muslim laughter applause oh wait, what . No why would they be warning iran . Anything not approved by congress is a mere executive agreement. The next president could revoke the next agreement with a stroke of a pen and future congresses could modify the terms of the agreement at anytime. Jon theyre not warning iran about obama theyre warning iran about themselves laughter you may be able to get obama to construct a framework of verifiable Nuclear Limitations in exchange for the lifting of sanction bus you will never sneak this bleep past us were bleep too cool were too cool for bama nays cheers and applause were the worlds most liberal body and yet were bleep nuts. But i have to say this, the republicans didnt write that letter just to sabotage a nuclear deal while humiliating the president. They also wanted to con descend to ierp about how our democracy works. They letter started out with it has come to our attention while observing your Nuclear Negotiations with our government that you may not fully understand our constitutional system. President obama will leave office in january 2017 while most of us will remain in office well beyond then, perhaps decades. Jon yeah, thats right, ayatollah in a democracy, president s come and go, but senators stay in power forever no matter how old or dangerous or spiteful or bleep they are and theres nothing anyone can do about removing them but i guess dictators wouldnt understand that. laughter whose idea was this stupid letter anyway . Tom cotton the freshman senator came up with the idea but what was remarkable is he was able to get the entire republican leadership, three president ial candidates for 2016 on the g. O. P. Side to sign on. That is remarkablum remarkable. How did cotton convince republicans to publicly undercut our current president . How did he do it . Its the kind of per persuasive rhetoric it might take to get lets say an unfixed dog to hump a pillow. laughter applause well gee. I dont. Uh are you sure this is okay . The pill hoe looks pretty expensive, i just oh oh that is embroidered whoa i guess the real question here is context what is the context . Is president obama using executive agreement in an excessive or unusual manner . Well the answer to that appears to be no bleep way. Ronald reagan peace be upon him signed over 1,500 executive agreements including a nuclear deal with china and a hostage deal with oh, how do i pronounce this iran, iran i wonder if that iran is the one related what obama is dealing with . Im sure its common in that part of the world. Pretty sure the president is within his constitutional prerogative. Subversion visavis Foreign Policy how knew is that . Define white house object to her visit, pelosi met with Bashar Alassad in an attempt to open a dialogue with a leader the president has sought to isolate. Jon oh, bleep . Democrats did the same thing to president bush. You know what this means. Juxtaposition of sound byte juxtaposition of sound byte jon yeah we do work hard to make this bleep interesting. laughter so. How did the democrats feel about pelosis interference in Foreign Policy in 2007 . I applaud speaker pelosi. I have long advocated engagement with countries in the region including iran and syria. Time has come for members to begin to go to some of these countries and establish their own dialogue. Why did the Washington Post trashing nancy pelosi for doing basically what jim bakker and lee hamilton said to do, engage the neighborhood over there in the middle east . Jon and how do they feel about the republican letter now . Either these senators were trying to be helpful to the iranians or harmful to the commanderinchief. Democratic senator Diane Feinstein called it a highly inappropriate and unprecedented incursion. Jon . Is this where we stand in the country where the opposition will try anything to scuttle a noble president s effort to avoid a war . Both look like the same people laughter jon now, of course, i can only assume conservatives feel the opposite in both instances. If the deal is that fragile, they dont have a deal. Senators and members of the house opine on Foreign Policy all the time. It confuses people when they see one of the leaders of the houses attempt to conduct Foreign Policy. The leaders are looking for input because president obama cut them out of the process. It defies common sense and doesnt help the conversation. 47 congressmen sent out a message to the iranian leaders educating them about our constitutional system of government. I never thought in my lifetime, colonel, i would see the speaker of the house of representatives against the wishes of her old commanderinchief allow herself to be used for propaganda purposes. Jon honestly, recolelcted do this all day. We do do this all day. laughter we are sad mole people. Clearly, the situational ethics of this countrys leadership is easy to catalog, but the real takeaway from this seems to be no matter how evil our president or our congress believes iran to be, they would each rather deal with the ayatollah than each other. You know someone they can work with. laughter well be right they call these sandwiches . This is a sandwich. The new subway turkey italiano melt. Tender turkey breast, genoa salami, pepperoni, provolone. And that tangy new subway vinaigrette. The new turkey italiano melt. Only at subway. When sweet and tart meet the possibilities are delicious. Get ready for sweetarts soft and chewy ropes. With no artificial flavors colors. Theyre new from sweetarts. Get ready to be obsessed. Sweetarts soft and chewy ropes. With no artificial flavors or colors. New from sweetarts. Wanna get roped in . Instead of hanging out on the couch you could be hanging ten. What are you waiting for . Vo book now for up to 40 off spring break hotels with travelocity. Jon welcome back when a news story falls through the cracks, lewis black catches it for a segment we call back in black. When i was a boy my father would take me to the circus. Its amazing. A huge tent full of dancing clowns leaping acrobats, stupefying magicians then we got a tv, and i realized the circus sucks oh your music this one can talk checkmate barnum the sir coz is an old rubber tent full of dying potential that travels between towns like a hobos reused condom. laughter hes gross, but hes safe and now its about to get even sadder. Some circus elephants are about to lose their jobs forever. Ringling brothers and Barnum Bailey announce by 2017 all elephant performances will end. Thanks obama what am i going to do now . Wash cars . Put out fires . Other flintstones bleep . Thats a cartoon be realistic. The elephants were the only good part of the show why would those ringling pricks get rid of them . The animals treatment often criticized as cruel. Coarsively trained. Sinking bull hooks into their skin. Chained for 22 hours a day. Thats insane you cant do that to the elephants you cant even do that to Dakota Johnson and i aint paying to see 50 tons of grey but i love it people love to pay to see big animals get abused . Seaworld reported a loss Fourth Quarter as the theme parks attendance is falling since the announcement the performing killer whales shouldnt be kept in activity. Whales are majestic, whales are fat sacks that spend all day eating in a poovment you know what we call that at my house . Sunday so ringling brothers is saving their elephants seaworld is changing nothing and another company who hates animals is actually making their lives worse. Mcdonalds will now only serve chicken raised without antibiotics. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa raising these birds in a metal shoebox with 100 clucking roommates just so you can fatten them up before killing them is one thing. But providing them healthcare laughter oh oh, oh no Ronald Mcdonald was a republican hello it could explain why a gay man would dress so badly. So its the dawn of a new era once you could get away with pumping poultry with drugs and beating elephants with sticks but now corporations are listening to the people and are ready to make real changes this is chicken. What does it mean for beef and pork . Any changes to the big mack or mcrib . No. Wait a minute. Mcrib is made of pork . I just assumed it was its own species laughter oh whatever just grind me up an animal and throw it on a bun and if it had a name, stamp it on the box i dont give a bleep im loving it cheers and applause care makes a man stronger. Dove men care [ female announcer ] hot pockets sandwiches are even tastier with delicious quality ingredients. Like hickory ham. Thats right baby. And our buttery seasoned crusts. Then we add hot. Because hot makes everything better. [ ding ] [ female announcer ] better taste. Better quality. Hot pockets mom when our little girl was born we got a subaru. Its where she said her first word. little girl no saw her first day of school. little girl bye bye made a best friend forever. The back seat of my subaru is where she grew up. What . announcer the 2015 Subaru Forester girl what . announcer built to be there for your family. Love. Its what makes a subaru a subaru. After people find a dentist through us, they often say i wish id done this sooner. Dont let that be you. You know your teeth are important. So dont put it off any longer. Call 1800dentist today. cheers and applause jon my guests tonight are the creators writers and stars of Comedy Centrals great broad city. Happy . Yes i just saw the hottest girl i have ever seen. We have the most incredible spark youre right. I have to find her. I didnt say anything. Here take my tickets. Wait wait, wait. These are supposed to be with the coats. No, we put the tickets in the tip jar at the end of the night. Then people find their matching ticket. That proves the coats theirs. Thats how coat check works. No, its not. Theyre supposed to be on hangers with the corresponding coat. Thanks for encouraging me to follow my heart. I love you. Again, thats not what i said. bleep . Please welcome Abbi Jacobson and ilana glazer cmon out here cheers and applause jon so nice to see you all right. cheers and applause welcome oh mix my gosh jon may i tell you something . Please do. Jon im going to tell you something, what i love about that show is joy. You somehow translate joy to that show. It is such a rare quality in this stupid, stupid business to bring a joyful expression of your comedy to the screen. I love it. We cant handle it that youre saying that. Jon i think well all start to cry. Im not crying. Jon im not crying either. Im not going to cry at all. We swore we wouldnt cry laughter jon how are you handling this . When did this hit for you when you realized like oh, bleep this is it this is big time . This moment right here is a good indicator, you know, its happening. Jon no no no. I think we were lucky enough that we had the experience of the web series before socit felt legitimate to us. We had to validate ourselves before other people did and i really think that forms the experience which i think forms the product. Jon does it seem different . Someone was talking to me earlier, you know, im trying to get into comedy writing and all that, it feels like there is more opportunity than it ever was with. Yeah. Jon do you think a show voices your unique, joyful could have gotten on the air without the web . I dont think so. No. Jon was it hard . Yeah, i mean, we both came up at bright citizens brigade that wonderful place and got tunneled visioned into the only way to make it is to get on house team and you have to do that and get your do do dues in. That didnt happen for us. We were sort of needing something to send our parents to prove that we were, in fact, doing comedy. Jon and they know how to use this this internet . They can click a link in an email. Jon really . And the web episode would show up laughter it loads, you know. Jon do they understand at this point theres a subtle separation between that and television . Do they understand that once you got on Comedy Central that thats your web series or, no, thats a network on the box, i dont have to click anything . Your parents have a harder time distinguishing right . Like, my mom would tell people a lot of times shes on youtube shes on youtube laughter not realizing, like, you probably are too, mom you know, everybody is jon they were kind enough to come to do the phone bank and in the middle of it so the whole idea is you pay some money you call a phone number and get to talk to abbi and ilana. One of the calls that came in for abbi was abbis mom. laughter oh, i love my mom so much. Jon she paid. Samantha bee came over and said this night was so amazing. Jon it was great. But also we were, like, this is nuts. So Susan Sarandon was sitting in front of us. I was, like ilana, were going over and were going to say hello to Susan Sarandon. Abbi abbi uses me like a shield. Jon when she said were going, were you all in, hands in, full heart, lets do this . Yeah jon thats how we do. Were talking to Susan Sarandon about important political issues. Jon what do you throw out first thing like, atlantic city, wow what do you do . I think we did like, hello, ms. Vanden. Like, youre a queen. Like, thanks for being such a bad bitch because that makes the world a better place. Jon you got right at it. We didnt know how much time we had. Jon she would have givion uh this. Yeah done jon interesting. So samantha bee politely came over and said, aby, you have a call. Jon it was a telethon you cant have a call on the telethon she said, you have a call, its your mom. laughter and, like i talk to my mom every day. I talked to her earlier that day. laughter and i go over completely free and i go over and im, like hey youre doing it right now arent you . I do a thing where i do this old Carol Burnett thing for my mom. She says do it, do it im doing it, but it was not live. And i just did it live now. Jon you know what . Can i tell you the call im about to get . I was watching the show. It seems abbi does a gesture to her mother. Is it to tell her mother shes thinking about her . It seems like a nice gesture and a simple one i have a motion. Do you have something for your mom . Whoo jon ill give a little thing for my mom. Yeah, do it laughter jon thats all ive got. I cant tell you how much i have been enjoying the show. Its an honor. Jon if youre bringing joy nothing better. Broad city wednesday night, 10 30 on Comedy Central Abbi Jacobson and ilana glazer applause welcome back. Thank you. Its not home. But with every well considered detail, it becomes one step closer. No wonder more People Choose delta than any other airline. Well you can start by eating your pizza the wrong way crust first. Pizza hut stuffed crust. I helped launch it twenty years ago. And to commemorate that, pizza hut has brought me back, along with the original price, just 9. 99. Thats right, baby were throwing back the price get a large original stuffed crust or any one of ten new flavorful stuffed crusts like honey sriracha or my favorite salted pretzel for just 9. 99. Only at pizza hut. Please feed the exhibit baby jon thats our show tomorrow night at 11 00 here it is, your moment of zen. True happiness is the happiness that comes from being honored. I love scrolls, i love plaques, i love trophies i got a building named after me. Someone actually once said a good deed is its own reward. Well, then whats this . Comedy central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org larry tonightly, oklahoma frat boys caught singing the worst song in history. Congratulations, baja men, youre not number one anymore. laughter america asks are we ready for a female president . And other questions that seem insulting and out of touch in 2008. cheers and applause women in the u. S. Are still dealing with the glass ceiling. Just to be clear thats a metaphor for female advancement not some christian grey sex dudgeon. Girls rule, boys drool, and transgender people are free to do whatever they want as long as it rhymes with rule. This is the nightly show. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers and applause Larry Larry Larry . Larry thank you wow larry larry thank you thats so nice of you. Welcome to the nightly show. Im larry wilmore. Im feeling so good tonight. Tonight is laundry night. I forgot i forgot something to hold it up. San antonio came through cheers and applause for those of you saying the nightly show, the home game, i apologize for the inside joke. Anyhow, we dont have a lot of
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