Family at a pizzeria in naples. The mayor says its in keeping with people and how they eat their slices there. Jon oh, yeah, blame it on the locals. Sure, fine. Although i guess if he did pick up his pizza slice and eat it with his hand, i bet the italian daily show would have had a field day on him. [laughter] wow, that guy really mugs for the camera. Write some jokes. Heres my favorite part of. This keep your eye on de blasios daughter chiara. Shes anticipating the reaction back in the states with an International Gesture. [laughter] thats an International Gesture that can only be called, you worry about your own [bleeped] lunch. Maybe eating pizza with a a knife and fork isnt so new york, but you know whats pure new york, the essence of this great city . Finding a new nonverbal way of telling someone to [bleeped] off. We miss you guys. Speaking of our fair city and state, new york has had its fair share of albanybased corruption in recent years, whether it be new york state senator Malcolm Smith trying to buy his way on to the mayoral ballot last year, state senator john sampsons 440,000 embezzlement case or perhaps youd prefer something more complex, more sophisticated. State assemblyman Eric Stephenson caught exchanging bribes for legislation on a wire sting conducted by another assemblyman mr. Castro, cooperating, most likely after being indicted himself on perjury charges. Yes, albany is a veritable [bleeped] mans sampler of corruption. Oh, what do we have here . Oh, this one, oh, yeah, this tastes like state senator montserrats Domestic Violence issues. Mmm, with federal mail fraud ga gnash and just a hint, a hint of conspiracy charges nougat. Mmm, mmm. A few years back there emerge mand promising to change all this. [laughter] i had to pick the one with the caramel. Had to pick the one that doesnt digest for like an hour and a half. There we go. There emerged a man to fight this, a corruption battling attorney general. No, not that one. Not the one who had to resign in his own personal corruption scandal. Thats the one. Andrew cuomo, a corruption fighting former attorney general who campaigned for governor on one oftrepeated pledge. Its about time we clean up albany. Clean up albany. Were going to start with cleaning up albany. We need clean up albany now. Jon and while i have you, have you been injured in car accident . [laughter] have you been exposed to asbestos . I can help all three things. Anyway, cuomo was elected and then tried to enact something called the public trust act. It would enhance prosecutors abilities to crack down on public corruption. Theres really only one problem, it turns out legislative bodies that are fed in swamps of corruption are generally loathe to pass dredging legislation. We all remember senator pigpens very famous filibuster of the 1952 bath act. [laughter] guess what . Governor cuomo doesnt take nomo. For. For, [bleeped] try something else. In response, the governor created whats known as the Mooreland Commission to investigate corruption within the legislation. Jon oh, so corruption is not enough of a problem to pass legislation. Well, then i guess you wouldnt mind if my commission looked under here. Whats under here . Lo and behold, just nine months later. Last month the Legislature Passed the ethics bill as part of the state budget. Cuomo made the decision to disband his commission. Jon there you have it, folks. Commission accomplished. As andrew cuomo campaigns for his reelection, he can be secure knowing that his tenacity helped clean up gotham city. A reformer who rose above politics as usual corruption because of great power comes great responsibility because hulk smash. Reports in the New York Times claim after appointing the commission, the Governors Office interfered with its work, objecting whenever the commission focused on groups with ties to mr. Cuomo. The governor created a panel to tackle corruption then systematically blocked it from probing anything related to himself. [laughter] jon say it aint so, andy. Say it aint so. Well, its not like he ever said the commission could investigate the Governors Office. The commission clearly has the Legal Authority to look at anything they want to look at, including the governor, the attorney general, the controller, et cetera. They have the Legal Authority. Jon basically cuomo formed a commission promising you we even look at me, and then when they looked at him, he said, you lookin at me . You lookin at me . I dont see any other governors here. You lookin at me . You lookin at me . So, Governor Cuomo . Governor cuomos office gave the times a 13page statement. A commission appointed by and staffed by the executive cannot investigate the executive. Arguing that since he created it and since the commission reported to him, he could not be accused of interference. Jon you know that [bleeped] ridiculous, right . [laughter] you know the i made it i can do what i want with it excuse only works for george lucas. I dont care how incongress it is that this space western now includes a regular reggae rant living under the sea. He stays in the picture. He stays [cheering and applause] now why couldnt. Reggae rabbit. You know i love you, george. Turns out Governor Cuomo may be like the boss that says, well play hoops at lunch. When jimmy from accounting blocks the lane, he says, hey, the other teams not allowed to touch the ball because i started the game. I really hope theres nothing to this because new yorks governors have two halls, shame and fame. And one of them is very crowded. Well be right back. 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Com the 5hour energy yummification contest. Its delicious yyyup. With xfinity internet soyour family can use all their devices at once. Works anywhere in the house. Even in the garage. Max whats going on . Were doing a tech startup. Were streamlining an algorithm. Whats grandpa doing . Hi. Sssh, grandpa you dont want to be an intern forever. Sorry dad, we have to get back to work, we have a deadline. Were going public [cheering] the fastest inhome wifi for your entire family. The x1 entertainment operating system. Only from xfinity. [cheering and applause] jon welcome back. Now, it turns out new york is not the only place dealing with the regional culture specific crime japan, where artist Megumi Igarashi was arrested last week for distributing plans to 3d print models of her own vagina, thus breaking japanese obscenity laws. Huh . First of all, japan has obscenity laws . You arrested her for that . Come on. You got have backup vagina in case first one crashes. Its common sense. Igarashis case is the subject of our new segment, we may have proshes but at least were not jailing artists for 3d printing their have a eye thats, brought to you by decades of deep sexual oppression and fishcakes. Mmm. Fishcakes. You probably are wondering, why would someone sell 3d models of their vagina . Well, duh. Laughter to raise money to 3d print an even bigger model of her have a vagina, specifically a have a eye thatshaped boat, which ive not mistaken is also the plot of field of dreams. Never saw it. Now, igarashi has since been released from jail. But thats not the real story here. The real story is that this happened in japan, a country whose Television Programming includes such classics as guys in their underwear spinning a giant wheel that slowly undresses a woman, and women competeing to see how much change they can hold in their cleavage. Apparently thats totally cool. [laughter] incidentally, japan, congratulations on inventing something somehow more demeaning than actual pornography. Please take that picture down before someone buys the american rights to that show. I dont get how a country cheaply famous for superior technology, and lets call it creative sexuality, has seen the perfect combination of those two talents and decided, no, thats too far. On the japanese pervometer, the vagina boat is practically a disney world ride. By the way, you should see the line at that ride. [laughter] heres what really gets me, japan, its not that i love have a have vagina themed boats, although i do keep one down at the shore, what gets me is your public display of genital double standards. Every spring in japan, people travel to kawasaki for a festival that is like no other. Its called the festival of the steel phallus. The festival features people marching and dancing through the streets, parading around gigantic penis shaped mikoshi. Jon i understand these penises are proud of their culture, but do they have to be so loud and have parade . Come on. Thats my new character, guy who is prejudice against penis culture. Japan, you arrested a woman for 3d printling her vagina, but you gave dicks their own holiday. [laughter] i guess if you commute to the dong parade in your have a eye that boat, you go to jail. What do you have against vaginas . The legend goes as such a woman had a demonic peniseating vagina that remained undefeated until a blacksmith invented an indestructible iron phallus that shattered the demons teeth. [laughter] i could see how that would leave some ill feelings. All right. Look, japan, i dont want to tell you how the run your country, but just think about it this way america has a long tradition of allowing its female artists to express their innermost thoughts. As a result, we dont spend 51 weeks a year storing a giant steel dick in our garage. Well be right back. Im living the life of dreams. Im living the life of dreams, with good people all around me. Im living the life of dreams. No im living the life of dreams. Im feeling hopefully. Feeling quite hopefully, its right up here, turn right, turn right. With good people all around me. Right, right, right, right, right with good people all around me. Ok look you guys, shes up here somewhere. With good people all around me. There she is ra come here girl m feeling hopefully. Ok look you guys, shes up here somewhere. D the light shines bright all with rough the night. Around me. Oh i dont know it. And the light shines bright all through the night. Yes, you do. And the light shines bright all rough the night. Oh i d42. T know it. D the light shines bright allll rough the night. T. Good job. U do. D the light shines bright allll rough the night. Oh i d42. T know it. D the light shines bright allll rough the night. T. Good job. U do. Dd our dreams are making usllll rougce stories. Oh i d42. T know it. Dd my loves are well sleepingll rougst right. Ht. T. And i know know know know now. That were, living the life of dreams. Dreams. Theres no monsters down here, [music fades out] dreams. Dreams. Dreams. Its just mr. Elephant. Come on, lets get to bed. He cadillac summer collection is here. During the cadillac summers best event, lease this all new 2014 cts for around 459 a month or purchase with 0 apr and make this the summer of style. [cheering and applause] jon welcome back. My guest tonight is the host of Cnns Fareed Zakaria gps. Please welcome back to our program fareed zakaria. [cheering and applause] how are you . Im well. Im a little nervous, because i realize i might be speaking to my future boss. Jon yes. [cheering and applause] can i tell you something . Our fake kick starter to buy cnn is up to 150 billion now. People are pledging 10 billion, 15 billion, 20 billion. I mean, when we charge their credit cards, i have a feeling well be disappointed. I hope that you end up getting cnn. I think it would be a fascinating challenge for you. [cheering and applause] jon i would love nothing more than that. I think youd love it. You do an amazing job. You program half an hour. Jon 22 minutes, but i do it four days a week. Its killing me. So thats two hours of programming a week. Cnn has 24 hours times seven, 168 hours. Jon by well do what cnn does. Ill just let wolf blitzer fill in the rest of the 18 hours. [laughter] i want to talk to you about. You have written recently, this is not the worst time in history. Explain yourself. [laughter] well, you know, jon, it was. I was riffing off a speech john mccain made, one of your favorites. Jon who . [laughter] he said this is the most terrible International Security situation i have ever seen in my lifetime, and its all because of president obama. I just thought we needed some perspective. You know, during the cold war, the superpowers had 45,000 Nuclear Missiles pointed at each other. We went to war in vietnam. We lost 50, whatever it was, almost 60,000 americans, but the vietnamese lost three million by some counts, at least one million. There was the 1973 war between egypt and israel. We went up to defcon three, the highest state of alert other than the cuban missile crisis. Weve been through some pretty tough stuff. Jon we fought a civil war, hundreds of thousands of people. You might have forgotten, that wasnt during mccains lifetime. [laughter] [cheering and applause] though i can understand the mistake. Jon hes going to love that. So the point i was making, were facing serious, complicated issues. The russians, but the russians invade czechoslovakia in 68, hungary in 56. There were two russian attempts to squash their satellites. Were going through tough stuff, but lets not Start Talking about how, oh, my god, the world is collapsing, weve never seen anything like this before. That did seem very partisan rather than some kind of an objective analysis of the situation. Jon from mccain. Unusual for him. Well, as you know, he used to be. There was a time when mccain was different. Jon he got bit by a mosquito or something. I dont know what the hell happened to that guy, but wouldnt you say. It seems to me that a lot of the issue is instability is much easier. Technology has made it so that instability is easier to create. It takes less money and less people to create instability in regions than it used to because they can get their hands on relatively sophisticated weaponry for very small groups. Yeah, this is the big change in a sense thats taken place. Its like the democratization of violence. Technology has made so it that you look at what happened with this plane. It was not possible even ten years ago i think for small group of thugs to fire a missile that could go 33,000 feet up in the air and take out a civilian airliner. You could get to lowerflying aircraft. You could get the helicopter. Jon the shoulder. Right. Now what you have is essentially the back of a truck. You have something which has a radar that is pretty sophisticated. Heres the catch, its sophisticated enough to tell you there is an airliner and you can hit it. It cant tell you whether its civilian or military. For that you need to be plugged into a much wider radar system. It shows you, you have enough power to be really responsible and nihilistic. Thats the danger. Jon thats the danger. And then instagram it as soon as you did it. Theyre doing this thing now where they weave chaos and then post it. You know, that seems to be their methodology. That catches fire amongst other disaffected groups. So doesnt that throw into. This entire paradigm of American Power that suppresses these pockets of instability is entirely blown out of the water, this idea that, oh, if we just change regimes we will stabilize countries. What we see now is, we sow chaos. Well, it shows you that anyone trying to do it, its much more difficult. Jon but no one else seems to try to do it. The sunni government is trying in their own way to suppress what they regard as instability, and even with the brutal method its not working. The russians managed to do it in ochechnya, killed 250,000 civilians in doing it. Jon israel thinks that overwhelming force will be the only thing, and then the people in that area who are trapped who are not part of hamas, not a part of this insurrection are devastated. The cost of disruption has dropped dramatically. The cost of establishing order of some kind is incredibly high. So if you think about iraq, you know, when people say, well, if we had stayed there, would that really, 5,000 american troops managed to turn this around, it seems unlikely. Jon 100,000 didnt get it to the level of stability thats required by some of these countries. In your mind, is this now then the new normal that we live with is pockets of instability that create these conflagrations rather than sort of world conflicts . Well, i think the crucial issue is where the state has lost legitimacy. And you see that in the broader middle east. If you look at the middle east, 20 years ago from libya, tunisia, egypt, iraq, syria, you had a stable order, but it was based on repression. So the legitimacy of all those regimes is gone. And what turns out is there is Nothing Holding those countries together. So people are pulling back to their deeper roots, shia, sunni, kurd. Jon different identities, tribal and religious. And in that situation, i think its very hard to keep the state together. I dont think its a problem in places where you have a coherent National Identity and the state is seen as legitimate. Jon right. But there will be those pockets, and i think youll have a world of those badlands. Jon the new status quo is warlords and a more feudal system and balkanization and the rest of us just have to hope that nobody there gets a nuke. And dont go there. Travel advisories are good Foreign Policy for a while. Jon youre always i think a ray of sunshine and optimistic voice in a world of darkness. I really appreciate that. Thank you, boss. [laughter] jon i cant wait. Fareed zakaria gps. It airs sundays at 10 00 a. M. And 1 00 p. M. On jon stewarts cnn. Fareed zakaria. [cheering and applause] [ male announcer ] if you cant stand the heat, get off the test track. Get the mercedesbenz youve been burning for at the summer event, going on now at your authorized mercedesbenz dealer. But hurry, offers end july 31st. Share your summer moments in your mercedesbenz with us. About bending the rules. Now i have the tools that bend them even further. Somewhere in the world, a massive wave is waiting to be found. With technology this versatile, finding it is easy. Dropping in, thats another story. Ancr help ian discover a monster wave with the hp pavilion x360. [robotic sounds] guess what . Im not a real human man. But i use old spice body wash and deodorant together and now im really cool. I got it, dudes. Oww i think you crushed some of my ribs. Mmmm, you smell amazing. Thank you. Id get off of you, but i cant get up. Maybe i dont want you to. Okay. So dude. What is this youre listening to . You need to pump up some jams. I mean cmon. Its friday. People wanna dance. Ah, yeah, phil knows what im talking about, dont you phil . Lets break out the glow sticks its time to get this party started. Sfx the tag starts making techno beats with his mouth. Wha, ow mj in the houseyhouse thanks man. Sure. Now all hanes underwear is tagless. Go tagless honey, look i got one to land. Uhhuh theres good more. Honey, look at all these smart rewards points verizon just gave me. Ooh, you got a buddy. Im like a statue. I just signed up and, boom, all these points. And theres notsogood more. Youre a big guy. Oh no. Get the good more with Verizon Smart rewards and rack up points to use towards the things you really want. Now get 50 off all new smartphones. The bites are back. And were making them just as cheesy and popable as ever. Thats right. Pizza huts cheese bites pizza is back try one now for 11. 99 or get any other pizza for just 11 online. Pizza hut yyyup. With xfinity internet soyour family can use all their devices at once. Works anywhere in the house. Even in the garage. Max whats going on . Were doing a tech startup. Were streamlining an algorithm. Whats grandpa doing . Hi. Sssh, grandpa you dont want to be an intern forever. Sorry dad, we have to get back to work, we have a deadline. Were going public [cheering] the fastest inhome wifi for your entire family. The x1 entertainment operating system. Only from xfinity. Jon thats our show. Join us next week at 11 00, heres your moment of zen. 18yearold patrick king is rehearsing the part he always wanted, but this teenager also loves to smoke, and that may keep him from performing on opening night. I love smoking. Its like theres a whole lifestyle that goes along with it. Its so much fun. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central [exciting music] [opera music]
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