perfect climate for golf and people with asthma because if you had your attitude and seattle's weather you would be the world's largest condom and nuclear waste dump. [cheers and applause] unfortunately, that radioactiveity would give rise to spermaxoman. the world's most powerful and reap lentless swimmer. he is not that dangerous a monster because there's only a very, very small chancel find a victim and even if he finds a victim the fact that he could -- and you can easily destroy him with his arch enemy a sock you no longer wear. so don't -- have i shared too much? [laughter] so please explain how to -- how this discriminatory law is not discriminatory. >> it no way would alou anyone to deny someone service. it won't force anyone to create or promote a message, to force home it be in a parade or endorse that with the business. >> jon: yes event planners should never have to work with couples they disapprove of. >> i paid you guys for a service. i was promises -- promised -- it would be ready. >> i want your stiewp (bleep) liar. >> i want my cake! [laughter] >> jon: event planners should never have to be forced toll work with people they hate except 40% to 50% of the time. just because someone say won't frf photograph a gay weddinging doesn't mean they are anti-gay. >> she's more than willing to take pictures of homosexuals. she's a christian photographer. >> jon: that may be the worst opening line to a craigslist ad ever. but i had not realized -- [cheers and applause] -- the extent -- [cheers and applause] [laughter] i had the not realize the extent to the which the good pious peoples of arizona have been subjected to the tyranny of arizona's, of course, still illegal gay wedding industry. let's hear from one of gentlemen who voted for this will bill. >> can you give me a specific example of someone in arizona who is forced to do something against their religious belief or successfully sued because of their faith? >> i think if anything, this bill is preemptive. >> but you can't cite one example where religious freedom is under attack in arizona? >> not now, no, but how about tomorrow? [laughter] >> jon: you see here in arizona we're all about protecting ourselves from possible futures. that's why i also cosponsored the robot floater id bill -- voter i.d. bill of 2022. what governor in their right mind would sign this piece of (bleep)? >> will january -- jan brewer sign or veto it? >> i have until friday or saturday morning to determine that. >> jon: clearly the governor is bicurious on this bill. [laughter] if you are going to sign it you might want to hurry because the lawmakers who voted for the bill are starting to realize what the (bleep) they just did. >> why are you regret your vote? >> it went through really quick. no one had anything telling me don't do it. we, several of us talked. we thought you know this isn't good. it's not good for the state. and -- but -- no one had said anything and we thought well, we'll vote for it. we made a mistake. [ laughter ] >> jon: i know how it is, you know? sittinging around a couple legislators, late at night and no one is around. [ laughter ] three of you just decide to experiment with intolerance but, you know, things go a little too far and then the next day nobody can make eye contact. it was just one bill and i didn't even enjoy passing it. it doesn't make me a homophone. of course they are having second thoughts because the bill they passed was morally repugnant as i assume everyone now realizes. [cheers and applause] >> critics of bill say it sanctions discrimination particularly against bay people but others could be impacted as well. a muslim coll refuse to do business with christians because he might consider them infidels. >> jon: right the people who voted for it realized that muslims could refuse service to them. right, but they are backing away from it because it's morally repugnant, right? >> i hope that governor brewer is a good friend of mine will veto. most importantly it's the impression it's creating because it's viewed as discriminatory. >> jon: no, no it's not an impression. that's not why you are against it. you are against it because it's morally repugnant? >> this can effect tourism, the state's economy and job creation. >> the arizona super bowl host committee could jeopardize plans for the state to host next year's game. >> jon: and it's morally -- you know what? this is why you are now arizona you've made yourselves too homophobic and dickish for professional football. [cheers and applause] according to the nfl the new watchdog of gay rights none of the reasons that you have cited the fact that maybe muslims could use it against us or oh, my god people want to do business with us have nothing to do with morality. but with so many good reasons not pass it. how did it get this far in the first place megyn kelly has a theory. >> we hear from people on the religious right who feel religion is under attack. i look at this bill and wonder whether it's an overreaction to people who feel under attack. >> jon: good point. an overreaction? why would people of faith, where would arizonans have gotten the idea that religion is under attack in this country. >> is our nation losing religious foundation? >> should but be punished for your faith? >> who is to blame for the holy breakdown. >> christmas under attack. >> it's a war on easter. it's a war on religion. >> american assault on religion. >> it's under attack. >> religious liberty is under attack. >> i don't understand the assault on christianity? >> unity and faith comes under fire. >> jon: why would religious people overreact to that [ male announcer ] when you switch to sprint's new framily plan, friends are like family, so who's gonna be in yours? let's get a sound guy and some roadies. 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[cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome back. [cheers and applause] >> you know the united states may not have won the most medals at this year's olympics. there's one event that we'll never be second best. fighting (bleep). the united states has the greatest military on this planet. we lead the world in smart bombs and increasingly stupid children but still. [laughter] we're about to fix that. the bombs part. [ laughter ] kids are kind of a lot of cause. >> after 13 years of warfare for this country, the u.s. now has a new defense battle plan that involves shrinkinging down the military. >> the -- shrinking down the military. >> it would shrink down to the smallest since 1930's before world war ii? >> jon: what? i just love the army. i just love the army. [laughter] we can't shrink the army. it's a process only tested on our kids. [laughter] and then after that ourselves. [ laughter ] ising this this goss to be a -- is this going to be a trilogy? what are we cut something in. >> after iraq and afghanistan we're no longer sizing the military to conduct long stability operations. there's 525,000 active duty soldiers. we've decided to further reduce the active duty army strength to a range of 440,000 to 450 soldiers. >> jon: 450 that's not enough. i really don't -- 450,000. that's -- [laughter] that actually should be fine. [ laughter ] so we're deploying tough love to match our military size to our military needs. i think this is right especially since our military spending is bigger than the next 13 countries combined. as long as we keep the commitments we've already made to our veterans i think that we have to -- i know that noise. it's impossible. that can't be dick cheney. yes! he who lives in the shadows and feeds off the darkness the one who must not be named although i named him. >> i've not been a strong supporter of barack obama but this really is over the top. there's enormous long term damage to the militarism they are basically making the decision, the obama administration, that they no longer want to be dominant on the seas and the sky and in space and their budget reflects that. >> jon: yes, yes the commander in chief and the secretary of defense want the u.s. to be weak and defenseless so the china can come in and tickle us on our belly. >> woe rather spend the money on food stamps than he would on a strong military or support for the troops. >> jon: who used food stamps a bunch of moocher class dead beats. probably never worked a day in their lives. >> a lot of food stamps go to military families. military families more reliant on food stamps. over 100 million in food stamps at military grocery stores. [ laughter ] >> jon: shrewd move, obama taking food out of mouths of men and women in uniform and putting it back in their mouths. where is where america's best known dick really makes his mark. >> the whole thing is not driven by any change in world circumstance it's driven by budget consideration. >> jon: i'll tell you what you make dick dick changey be the secretary of defense there's no way he would cut the troop count by the 5.9% proposed. >> the budget we submitted to congress in the last few weeks calls for approximately a 25% reduction in force structure between now and 1995 and 1996. >> jon: yeah, because you would have to cut 25% troops because 5.9% cuts is for pussies. so when you were in the pebt gone, dick cheney, you made much greater cuts than they are making now. what was your reasoning for that again? >> we reduced forces deliberately based on continuing of the strat teagueying. the the only way you i know to cut budget is to cut the budget. >> jon: you know what never changes about dick cheney? ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ i'm ten feet tall ♪ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ i'm ten feet tall ♪ was it worshipped by an ancient civilization? it's real paco. [ man laughs, monkey screeches ] actually, we just ran out of buns. so... [ male announcer ] applebee's legendary quesadilla burger. an epic reason to see you tomorrow. with over 100,000 miles. most vehicles on the road [ male announcer ] applebee's legendary quesadilla burger. that's the power of german engineering. ahh. there's one. what is that? it's my dale call. [ engine revs ] [ ducks squawking ] that's way better than my duck call. [ male announcer ] if you're on a diet of taking it up a notch... ahh. it's just different. [ male announcer ] ...drink diet dew. the only diet with dew in it. [cheers and applause] >> jon: my guest font is an actor. his new film is called "non-stop." >> go, go, go! >> get the gun! [yelling] >> no, no, no. [grunting] >> help me, man. >> let go of him. >> stop. >> jon: dude, i have totally been on that flight. it's jet blue all the way. please welcome back to the program liam neeson. [cheers and applause] ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jon: young man, how are you? >> good, jon, thank you. >> jon: holy -- how long into the flight -- [laughter] -- and what was -- was that a -- was that a fuel request gone awry? what happened there? >> they served tea at the wrong temperature. [ laughter ] you americans d i love this country, i'm a citizen, you do not know how to make tea. i say can i have boiling water. they say hot water? no, boiling water. that's what it starts. >> jon: i have always found if someone is to get your tea order wrong you should drive their nose bone into their brain. i have always said that. this film someone has taken your daughter again -- [laughter] -- but they've taken her and she is on this plane. >> at adopted one. >> jon: and you have to find her on the -- i don't know what happened. is that the story? >> i love the guy that tells you no, i haven't seen your movie. >> jon: no, no, what i meant was i haven't seen it twice so i'm still a little confused about the details. you kicked more ass in the last five years tnches a psycho logical drama, jon. >> jon: thank you. >> it pays a homage to hitchcock. >> jon: you choose these wisefully. i find them very enjoyable. they are seat of the, you know, theater, exciting. >> it's fun to do, you know? >> jon: do they beat you up in this? >> a little bit. a little bit. it's all right. >> jon: you keep looking to my eyes younger and i'm very disturbed by this. you know what i'm say something in you seem to be getting fitter and larger. [ laughter ] >> i don't know what to say, jon. i'm 61 maybe it's the new 41. >> jon: how old are you? >> 61. [cheers and applause] all that irish rain when i was a kid. it's all that cow's milk. >> jon: here is my guess they keep new a weird formaldehyde crisper. because this -- are you having fun? >> having agreat time, yeah. >> jon: things are good otherwiseth. >> i can't complain. everything is good. i'm a little bit pissed off at our elected new mayor. >> jon: did he not shovel your snow appropriately? are you on the upper east side. >> he made my kids go to school in all that snow. >> jon: do you remember that in the snow storm? >> yeah. >> jon: you know what i did? i drove to the school and let all the kids out. let them all go. he upset. >> he wants to close the horse and carriage industry in new york. there was a poll last week over 60% of new yorkers want to keep the horse carriage industry in central park. >> jon: maybe in the park. we live next door to them. i feel bad for them on the streets. it seems like they and a lot of van traffic don't get along. >> the horse carriage industry they made the roads of new york. i just want that to rest there. >> jon: what are the roads made out of horse (bleep)? what do you mean? construction made the roads. what if they moved to it park. the horses didn't have to walk the streets? >> the organizations want to put out this -- all this false information about how these horses are treated. these guys treat the horses like their children. have you been in the stables, jon? >> jon: if dyfs found out they are keeping their children in 60 square foot stawlz and feeding -- stalls and feeding them twice a day buckets of grain it's not good parent as far as i'm concerned. you feel passality about this. i think there probably is. the two sides do not trust each other at all. >> he won't even tick a meeting with the horse carriage industry. he is supposed to be representing the new york people. >> jon: you are -- >> dammit! >> jon: is this a job you've done? >> i know a couple of the guys. i've been in the stables quite a few times eatinging. jorchg i think -- eating. >> jon: i think you pulled my wife and i around central park one day. from my perspective it does not steam be a particularly fulfillinging life for an -- fulfilling life for an animal. >> it is. jon begun they are trained for this is. >> jon: we don't know. unless it's mr. ed we don't know. they may look at you and say neigh. they could be trained to sit in a field. >> \stand up/stand-up. stand up. had enough. give me your nose. >> jon: "non-stop" is in the theaters on friday but i will not be able to ♪ amour best pizza yet,out the all-new hand tossed. well we hear you america. and to return the love we're bringing back our 10 any pizza deal. now try any of our amazing pizza for just 10 bucks. for a limited time get any new hand tossed, thin n' crispy, or original pan pizza with any toppings, ordered any way you want. even specialty pizzas like meat lovers. still just 10 bucks. kimmy cakes thinks that's seriously the best thing to happen to pizza. aw, thanks kimmy cakes you're making us blush! go for greatness, people! pizza hut. make it great. ♪ switch to t-mobile we'll pay your family's early termination fees rich, chewy caramel rolled up in smooth milk chocolate. all aboard. rolo. get your smooth on. you raise her spirits. we tackled your shoulder pain. you make him rookie of the year. we took care of your cold symptoms. you take him on an adventure. tylenol® has been the number 1 doctor recommended brand of pain reliever for over 20 years. but for everything we do, we know you do so much more. what is this place? where are we? this is where we bring together the fastest internet and the best in entertainment. we call it the x1 entertainment operating system. it looks like the future! we must have encountered a temporal vortex. further analytics are necessary. beam us up. ♪ that's my phone. hey. [ female announcer ] the x1 entertainment operating system, only from xfinity. tv and internet together like never before. [cheers and applause] >> jon: that's our show. here it is your moment of zen. >> thank you for joining us. >> thank you for having me. >> tosh.o features videos from the internet and is for a mature audience. enjoy. >> hey, 40 seconds? >> 45 now. [beep] [ applause ] >> oh, rock beats -- what's beats that? chris rock. welcome to tosh.o. tonight a philly taze fan gets a redemption. now take me back to fern gully. [beep] >> see, i was kind of hoping the rope would be too long. can't we just fast forward to the part where he cuts his arm off. the ko