Zero for eisenhower to ford. Carter and reagan had two each on executive nominees. When you look at president obama, you made this point, 16 for his first term. 28 projectedded this term. John wow. So nearly half of all executive nominee filibusters ever have been to block obama appointees. Ive got to say when they told us that this was going to be an historic presidency, i dont think this was really what everyone had in mind. Now, there are two reasons for this. One, congress enate dickishness. You cant each that. Two under opportunity rules all you need to do to filibuster is saying, im going to filibuster. You dont have to stand there for 15 hours, hold your pee, read the phone book. Its like a golfer standing at a tee and turning to his caddy and saying i plan to hit a hole in one. Why dont you just put me down for a one. If you need me, ill be in bar high fiving. Now this current ridiculous situation has proven a little too much for some people. Senate democrats are preparing to change filibuster, invoking the socalled Nuclear Option. John no, no, not the Nuclear Option. Everybody, duck and cover. Invoking the so much called Nuclear Option to change senate rules so that only a simple majority would be required to confirm nominees for federal agencies cabinet appointments. John hold on, hold on. So in this context, the Nuclear Option is just a simple change in parliamentary procedure. That is the worlds worst Jerry Bruckheimer movie. Hey, ive come here to chew bubble gum and to confirm sub cabinet level nominees. Guess what . Im all out of bubble gum. laughing did that look as uncool as it felt . But ill tell you that it is a yes. If theyre calling it a Nuclear Option, they must be taking this pretty seriously. Senate leader harry reid, can you explain why this might be necessary perhaps with a brief analogy. Davey johnson is a manager of the national mets, the team were so happy to have here in washington. Hes here as manager. Now imagine the front office of Major League Baseball calling up Davey Johnson around the first of april and said, davey, i know that. Ill tell you what, you can play him as soon as the all star break is over. Mr. President , what would happen thats exactly what republicans are saying to president obama. You cant have your team until we tell you everything is just fine. Its going to take us a long time for us to tell you that. John you know, it used to be that when people wanted to delay an orgasm, they would think of baseball. But it turns out that you have a much better option. You can think about harry reid talking baseball. Talking about baseball. That wont just delay your orgasm, you will never have an orgasm ever again. Its the worlds most boring man in the worlds most boring place discussing the worlds most boring sport. Its like an ambien stuffed inside a lunesta covered by a bottle of niquil. Its a snoreducken, if you will. Now, this is actually a dance as old as time because the Majority Party wants to get rid of the filibuster whereas the other party lets call them the minority fights them tooth and nail which means harry reid and the senior senators from kentucky are about to engage into an ultimate age fighting. This isnt a power grab. I dont know what a power grab looks like. No matter how often my friend rudely talks about me not breaking my word, im not going to respond talking about how many times hes broken his word. We dont pull back from the brink here, my friend the majority leader is going to be remembered as the worst leader of the senate ever. John owe, the worst ever. Mcconnell has reed on the ropes. Finish him. Senator mcconnells campaign tweeted out this net owe of a tombstone with the line if reed changes the rules to kill the filibuster, kill the senate will be on his tombstone. John mcconnell wins. [ cheers and applause ] so with senators apparently ripping one another hearts out, it looks like the senate is going nuclear. I should probably get a few things off my chest myself. I had a gay experience in college. Technically i was 31 but it happened at the college. What else . I dont like artichokes. Thats embarrassing. And if anyone ever discovers the mutilated body of a vagrant. The senate has reached a deal to reach the socalled Nuclear Option. Then i had absolutely nothing to do with it. Seriously . How did the Nuclear Option get averted . A Smaller Group of senators like by mccain and sheumer have hammered this out. Two of the president s nominees will be withdrawn. Two new names offered and five others will go forward. John so a routine bit of horse trading. All it took to get there was weeks of threats and hyperbolic rhetoric about ending the senate. I presume you people are all ashamed of yourselves. Theres good news. What it reflects is not only respect for the senate rules but really an understanding that to get solutions, weve got to work in a bipartisan way. The first time we have seen in a long time senators of both political pears sit down and hammer out an agreement. John i guess that is technically better. Yes, we have come to reach next to nothing but we did it together. For more on this, we turn to senior Congressional Correspondent jason jones who is on the senate floor. Jason, the filibuster has been preserved for now. So it seems we wont see the predicted dissent into gridlock and chaos then. Gridlock and chaos. How would that be worse than the Current Situation . The senate dreams of the day things improve to a state of gridlock and chaos. John is it really that bad there . John, john, do you know what all this stuff is . These are senate bills waiting to come up to the floor for a vote. Look how old they are. Look at this thing here. Look at this. The fair slave pricing act of 1852. This one here. Ban this new jazz craze bill. Look at this one. A bill to grant the congressional medal of all around great guys to o. J. [bleep] simpson. If the senators were smart they would have gotten rid of the filibuster completely. John not proposing to get rid of all filibusters just ones blocking nonlifetime executive appointments. Thats trying to curb firearm violence by banning tshirt guns. Trying to put out a volcano by taking a piss in it. They should go back to the old school filibuster. John when they had to talk for hours and hours without getting a bathroom break. Like real men. Like wendy davis. [ cheers and applause ] john i honorly dont know if they can do that, jason. Remember these are mostly old men. There is no way they can stand there for hours without leaving to get to a bathroom. Reporter yes, they can. We reporters, we do it all the time. John whoa, whoa, jason, jason. How are you looping that . Jason, why are you wearing that diaper . Reporter i cant have you throw to dead air because im in the bathroom draining the snake. The snake did drained anywhere. Snake dont mind. Snakes cool. John please, please. Stop referring to your penis as a snake. Reporter shhh. He can hear you. But the point is, if i can be out here in a diaper, why cant Mitch Mcconnell . Snon because that seems beneath the dignity of the senate. Reporter you really think Mitch Mcconnell [bleep] into an adultsized hugees is less dignified than the way the current is operating. John youve actually got a point there, [jjj4fs20r9 9 hh,xa. a. a. a. D ,x welcome back. I know that i am not alone and excitedly awaiting the most important event in world history. The suspected due date of the royal hare has come and gone here in london and still no baby just yet. John no, no, no, no story. I refuse to wait any longer. Were kicking off our coverage. Roll it. Okay. Okay. So, okay. I guess the key question now is where is my [bleep] baby . Someone else at the palace said it could be next week, next tuesday. By the end of the week he or she will be born. John youre right. We should not be rushing this. It takes nine months just to make a common baby. A royal infant needs to steep for a year, maybe two, maturing like a fine claret before sauntering out of the womb in formal dress and saying im sorry, were you waiting for me . I must be fashionably late. You know, im excited just covering the birth from here. I can only imagine the thrill of reporting it live from london. The country is doing what william and kate are doing. Frankly what were doing is waiting. God only knows how long youll be standing outside that hospital. We hope its not too long. Please, willie, dont jinx me. My fingers are crossed. The sun is getting to us a bit, carol. I have to tell you, we need this baby to come sooner rather than later. Lets just say that. John im sorry. For you its such hard work standing around waiting for someone else to push a ninepound human out of her golden vagina. How can you be so jaded about this . Its not just a royal birth thats exciting. Its how its announced. A birth notice will be written at the hospital. The notice will be driven by a Police Escort from the lindo wing at st. Marys hospital to buckingham palace. And then two simultaneous but separate gun salutes. And 62round salute at the tower of london. John thats right. Cannons, mother [bleep]. How about that. Cannons. Let me ask you. At best she got nick can none, than that is is not as good. Now, normally when we British Public get worked up, we riot. But this is a much more dignified occasion. I just think its exciting. T will be exciting to see how the queen reacts. Reason enough for the expectant public to look its best. John its respectful. Isnt it . I cant meet a royal baby with peach fuzz. What if he wants to touch me face . Look, look, look, your royal highness, those others might be getting bored waiting but i can do this all day. I am not leaving this desk until you have that baby. I am in this for the long haul. Your move, princess. Well be rightack. Back. John welcome back. My guest tonight an Academy Award wifning actress whose new film is red 2. I have just been given a contract to kill you. Apparently youre guilty of Nuclear Terrorism and murder and youre number one on interpolls most wanted. What did you say . I said if i dont somebody else will. Its bad. Isnt it . Send him my love, will you . Youre driving me crazy. He gave her a gun. Was it loaded . Yes. Are you being control something. No. You have to take chances in a relationship. You have to be supportive. John its the most classy way to dispose of a body. Please welcome back to the show the great dame helen miiren. [ cheers and applause ] i think you should conduct the whole interview on your knees actually. John ive not actually met a dame before. So as a british peasant, am i supposed to courtesy or just automatically give you my income . No, no,. John how does it work. Im probably more peasant than you are. I went to normal school. They call it something different. They dont call it private school. They think we all went. It doesnt matter. You know, im not, believe it or not, im actually a member of the royal family. You damed up. I did dame up. I did. I was very honored to dame up. I think that was partly because im the daughter of an immigrant. I think that, you know, immigrants to countries, you know, we get especially kind of honored and excited about being recognized. People cant believe that weve left and done anything. Whenever i go home all my friends. They always say, all right, hollywood. How is brad pit . I guess if your friends do that, thats actually a valid question. Im sure youve met. Havent you met brad . John do you know he was a guest here. I did meet him. And he smelled unbelievable. Unbelievable. The other thing about movie stars like brad pitt, they look perfectly ordinary when you look at them except its brad pitt. Oh, my god, its brad pitt. If you ignore that from the neck down they look kind of ordinary. They have a tshirt on or a jacket or something. But if you get to touch them, they feel completely different. Because, you know, their clothes are made of such incredible fabric. So an ordinary jacket you touch and you realize its like the most expensive cashmere youve ever touched in your life. I always try and touch movie stars. [ cheers and applause ] snon i dont know what that is. But that animal is extinct now. Red 2 is out this week. It is. John quite a move going toe to toe with the release of the new royal baby. Yes. But maybe more laughs in our movie. I dont know. It is really enjoyable. The first one was famous for having a car spinning around in it. Thats right. I think theres three car spins. Classic studio in hollywood, isnt it . A threecar spin, three times the money. Im in one of those car spins. It was great shooting it because you dont do that in real life. Surprise, surprise. Youre in the studio and the car is literally on a thing that goes round and round and round until you feel completely sick but it was fun. John what is it like meeting the queen . Well, i mean, i have met the queen. When you got damed. I got damed by charles. That doesnt count then. But anyway, it wasnt the queen but i had met the queen on other occasions but not. Not in an intimate situation particularly. Having a cup of tea, not like that. The first time did it feel strange . You are the lady from. Absolutely. Oh, but it is like meeting movie stars. You cant get over the fact that theres that incredibly famous face looking at you. Its so hard. I call it queenitis. You get queenitis. First of all, you Start Talking like this. I dont understand why. I dont talk like that. Its how youre supposed to sound. You start saying terribly. Its such fun. Why am i talking like that . You keep saying shut up. Just be normal. Be normal. Its impossible. Red 2 will be in the theaters on friday. It such fun. It is such fun. Dame helen m [ cheers and applause ] john thats our show. Join us tomorrow night at 11 00. Here it is your moment of zen. Are you excited about the baby. Not terribly. Why not . Ell, you know, everybody has babies. [wind blowing] [footsteps] [ominous music] theres gotta be another human being out there. Somewhere. Its been 173 days since the undoing. Today, i may be the last man alive. However, if there is another, i will find them. The loneliness is more than i can [scooter engine revs] whoohoo yeah whee ha ha whoohoo. Yo. [engine shuts off] ahh. Let me get some of that. Mm. Mmm. Mmhmm, mmhmm, mmhmm. [dance music] oh, yeah [muffled] thats my jam right there whoo hazzah wah, shakikah wah, shaslikah ooh, yall dont know nothin about that. Mm, mm. Pttpttpttptt. Oh, hey baby, how you doing . [grunts] yeah what, all day, baby [grunts] yeah [thuds] whoa, hey dude um, hey, ill ill come over there. Dude hey ill come to you, man. [gunshot] [gun clicks] [gunshot] [music ends] okay, there has to be another human being out there