From comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show thank you so much for tuning in im trevor noah. Our guest tonight here to talk about her new book actress Gabourey Sidibe is here, everybody cheers and applause as you know, it was another category 4 bleep storm today from President Trump, and we will get to that. But first, the world is still reeling from the giant cyberattack that shut peoples computers down and, now, a new hack is threatening one of americas most treasured institutions. Hackers are reportedly holding disneys new film pirates of the caribbean dead men tell no tales hostage. The options, fork over a large amount of cash or the hackers will release the film before it hits theaters in ten days. So far r far, were told disney isnt biting. Trevor oh, no. laughter pirates of the pirates of the caribbean laughter i feel like this time the hackers went too far because they forgot mickey mouse is a badass. You dont get to the top of the cartoon World Without breaking a few brooms. He was probably on the phone like liam Neeson Mickey voice im going to find you i have a particularly set of skills woohoo how are you going to hold a movie ransom they made four different times . Seriously, youre going to try the with the fifth movie . You hold the first one, not the fifth one. Its like if youre Holding Someone for ransom, take ivanka, not eric. Come on, people keep up, mickey mouse is coming for you hes coming applause speaking of cartoonish characters who are more dangerous than you think, the news once again is focused on President Trump. This evening we heard he personally asked former f. B. I. Chief james comey to end his investigation into former National Security advisor Michael Flynn and his ties to russia. I will say, i hope the republicans new Healthcare System is good because im getting whiplash from all the scandals. He did what . Wait, what . Again . Who said aaaaaa laughter well get into that tomorrow after trump gives us the real story at 3 00 a. M. On twitter. applause but lets move on and talk about what we learned yesterday. Yesterday, we learned trump had, himself, apparently told National Security secrets to russians, and we look at the fallout in our recurring segment, moscow in the meddle. Trevor so heres what we know. Last week, President Trump pet with Russian Diplomats and reportedly told them classified information about an i. S. I. S. Terror plot, and we know that that information came from a foreign ally who did not want the u. S. To share it with the russians because they know you dont want russians in your business. How are we not getting this . No one wants russians getting information. Doesnt matter what the information is. It could be a Surprise Party your friend told you about. If you tell the russians, its not going to end well. Your friend will wash up on the beach without his head and you will be, like, but this had nothing to do with the russians and the russians will be, like, well, yeah, why take the risk . You never know, you never know in russian accent you said you want surprise, now youre surprised. laughter dont get me wrong, everyone goes sips. Its fun and as every High School Freshman knows it makes you popular and super cool. The problem is when the president goes sips, the stakes can be pretty high. Outrage in washington and beyond over new records President Trump may have revealed highly classified information during his Oval Office Meeting with russian officials. What President Trump has done has betrayed that core premise that allows us to have relationships around the world. The real danger beyond infuriating this close ally is our friends and partners will think once, twice, maybe they wont share information with us at all. We rely on our allies around the world to give us information. If we cant show at the highest levels of government that we can be trusted to safeguard that information, then we jeopardize our access to that information. Trevor thats right. Trump is basically, like, the one guy who didnt know that what happens in vegas stays in vegas and, instead, the second he got home, he posts all the pictures on instagram and then, like, tags you and your wife in it and, guess what, now im divorced, bryan laughter this is where we see the whole idea of trump is a lie, even by his own standards, all right . Hes complete bleep . What did trump preach . Protecting america from terrorism at all costs. And how does america do that . By gathering and acting on very sensitive and confidential information from friends and allies around the world. Whats going to happen now . Americas going to get shut out because no one can trust the president not to spill their secrets whenever he has his friends come over for a play date. And heres how you know the story is a big deal for the first time, since the election, Republican Leaders seem to be having buyers remorse. Republican senator bob corker, a trump supporter, telling journalists the white house is in a downward spiral. Senator Susan Collins quipped to reporters, can we have a crisis free day . Thats all im asking. Well, if its true, its disturbing, obviously. Its not a good thing. laughter trevor its not its not its not a good thing. laughter you dont think its so bad when youre describing your president s actions the way youre describing the love child on a childless couple. Im a victim of my culture, people laughter the highest Ranking Member of the trump administration, he also jumped to trumps defense. Of course,ip talking about fndz. Yes . Theyve fallen back on the excuse that they give every time damaging information leaks about trump. Fix these dang leaks i have a message for those who work in that house, the white house, enough with the selfserving leaks. The leaks inside this administration are hurting both their functioning and the security of this country. Whoevers leaking at the the washington post, what theyre doing is even worse trevor baby, its not about me cheating on you, its that its told. Weve got to find the leaks, baby applause leaks are not the biggest problem here. If there was blood dripping down from the apartment above me, my main concern wouldnt be patching the ceiling. It would be what the bleep is that creep doing up there in 12b . so here we are once again, people. The eternal question is trump incompetent or did he purposefully collude with the russians to give them information . Nobody knows. I do have a theory, though. I have a theory. I do think the reason donald trump loves the russians is because their accent reminds him of melania. laughter yeah. So after the russians left the oval office, he probably called melania, like, hello, current wife. I just talked to your dad, tremendous guy, great guy, told him all of americas secrets. And melania is, for the last tiernlingsively slovenian. Yeah, big russians, little russians, got it. By the way, another one of your dads just walked in. When are you moving into is it hello . Hello . Okay, love you, bye. Trevor for more, were joined by senior political analyst jordan klepper, everybody cheers and applause jordan, hey, a lot of people are surprised by this new information. Well, they shouldnt be. Mork voted for a guy with no government experience. That was the appeal. Hes an outsider, literally right now hes probably outside the white house trying to remember the door code. Trevor okay, ill go with you on that, jordan. People want a change, yes, but positive change. They wanted someone to do away with politics and speak for the common man. Have you talked to the common pan, trevor . Ask him to keep one of your secrets. I gave roy my netflix log in, now i have 15 strangers streaming billions on my dime. Billions is show time thats elitism talk that has no place in trumps offers. He is the common man president and the common man likes juicy gossip, like when you told me you take your shirt off when you take a bleep . Trevor why would you bring that up . Its cool. Im not going to tell anyone. laughter the point is that is, true, by the way. Im not going to tell anybody thats what he does. laughter having a total outsider in the white house is fun. Americans love watching amateurs perform. Ncaa, porn hub, u porn, red tube, x video trevor jordan, you can stop. Then why am i going to therapy . Its a crippling addiction. Trevor jordan, seriously, common, man. There is some intel that needs to be kept secret for National Security. Yes, youre absolutely right. You dont want secrets falling into the hands of suspicious characters. Trevor like russia. No, like trump. You heard what the National Security advisor said. There were some secrets trump couldnt have given away because nobody told him what they were. Trevor yeah, but how can they not tell him everything . Hes the president. Make up your mind, trevor. Do you want an ignorant president or one that gives all our secrets to russia . Trevor what about a competent president . Dont be ridiculous. The fact is, america voted for a rollercoaster, so buckle up, people, because were only ten feet off the clicky part. Trevor jordan klepper, everyone. Well be right back. cheers and applause i dont care about the funny way you wear your hair someday youll let me put my comb up there til then youre beautiful and i just stare athats why we lager,. Filter and package cold. For a cleaner, crisper taste. Because our mountain is brewing the worlds most refreshing beer. 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Classic reimagined. Trevor welcome back to the show. From time to time, wereich to check in with our we like to check in with our Senior Correspondent ronny chieng with a segment we call todays future now. Thanks, trevor. With we have been promised three things since the 1950s, meals in pill form, healthy cigarettes and racial segregation i mean flying cars. One of the things finally arrived. Are you ready for flying cars in uber said they will have flying electric taxies by 2020. They will be showing them off in real life. They go up and down like a helicopter. Really . Uber has trouble finding us on the ground. Now were going to trust them in the sky . Why would i trust someone flying around as a side gig . laughter i dont want my pilot to be the guy whos in between jobs, okay . Forget uber. I want a flying car i can drive myself. Guess what . Thats happening, too. Tired of traffic on the daily commute . Just jump in the flying car and leave the congestion behind. Some Companies Report theyre getting much closer. A sloa vo vackian slovacian comy unveiled no, i wouldnt want to get in a slovakian car let alone flying car. If you asked me what technology they were working on i dont know, sheep. Show us what youve got. A Slovakian Company unveiled one flying car, reported by setting you back more tan a mill bucks. It drives 435 miles at 99 miles an hour and takes three minutes to transform from a regular car to a plane. You also need a pilots license and, darn it, you cant take off from highways. Pretty cool, but thats not a flying car, its a plane. You cant just call things cars. A submarine isnt an underwater car. Just like a roller skate isnt a foot car. And a horse isnt a car that bleep on the street. Okay. laughter science, isnt there a flying car that doesnt require a pilots license and runway . Check this out. This is a prototype for a flying car made by an Aerospace Engineer Company Called kitty hawk. The openseated, 220pound vehicle is powered by eight Battery Powered propellers to soar across the skies. Two things. One, that looks super cool. Two, everyone is going to die. Everybody. The pilots going to die, the friend waiting beneath the propellers so theyll turn, that guy will die. And you will hit a lake to spread your ashes all over it. Very convenient. You are thinking how will they convince people to get in this death trap. A slick commercial. ringing hey, what are you up to . Getting ready for dinner. Mark invited a few friends over. How nice. Id love to see you. Want to join us . Maybe you can bring the boat over. I have Something Better in mind. Ill see you in two minutes. So, basically, rich people are sitting around thinking, mmm, weve got motor boats, jet skis, whats another way we can be giant assholes on the lake . laughter by the way, you live in a Beautiful House next to the beautiful mountains on a Beautiful Lake and thats not enough for you . You, like, have to be hovering ten feet above it all like a god . When can you just admit youll never be happy . applause okay . You dont need a flying car cheers and applause what you need is to put on some cement shoes and go walk into that lake, okay . Youre trying to buy your way out of a deep, dark pit of sadness in your soul and its never going to work and that is todays future now im ronny chieng back to you, Trevor Trevor ronny chieng, everyone. Well be right back cheers and applause to encourage trying, goodnessknows invited people whove always wanted to act, to try. And, action four delicious bite sized square snacks great, but its snack squares. [bleep] every try is a step to being your best. Try a little goodness our mountain is creating a more sustainable world. Its why we pioneered the recyclable can, and made our breweries landfillfree. Coors light, whatever your mountain, climb on. The markets can be new york life on the other hand is as consistent as my free throw shooting. Theyve paid a dividend to participating policy owners every year since 1854. It may not be sexy, but it works. Be good at life. New york life. Theres not a single scratch on your body. You are alive because of what you brought on that plane. Who are you . Welcome to prodigium. We recognize and destroy evil. But this is unlike anything weve seen before. You have no idea what you have unleashed. The mummy. Rated pg13. Experience it in imax. cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the the daily show. My guest tonight is an academyaward nominated actor and author whose new book is this is just my face try not to stare. Please welcome Gabourey Sidibe cheers and applause trevor welcome to the show. Thank you for having me trevor im so glad you came. I watched you so many times and youre, like, no. Over brunch i was, like, no. Trevor thank you for being here finally. Im glad i could convince you. Your name is Gabourey Sidibe and my name is trevor noah. I was born in africa and you were born in new york. I feel like our names were switched at birth. Yeah, why is my name more african than yours . Trevor i feel like i should go home and be like, yo, mom, come on. Something. Give me something. Youve got to argue with her. Got to. Her name should be baratunde. Trevor that sounds great. I like that name. Im going to start talk calling myself that. Baratunde noah trevor thats going to be it. applause can i just say, i know Everyone Wants to talk to you about precious, but for me, ive got to get into this book. I did not expect this book to be as funny and at the same time as honest as it has been. I know when i was writing my book, i felt it. But i wonder, what is the one thing you got from writing your own book . Okay, so i think that i got a lot of things. A lot of the opinions that i have about, like, my parents, my family, the entire world, i made up when i was six. I was, like, at six years old, i was, like, dad, i got you. The last time i was in synagogue i was six years old and i was like, i know what senegal is. What i got from the book is the about the to make opinions about my entire world as a grownup. Trevor it comes through in the book. You tell different stories i never knew about. For instance, you worked in a call center specifically for you were a phone sex worker. I was a phone sex worker, yeah. Trevor all right. cheers and applause now, i mean, everyone will be interested in the phone sex part of it, but i was more intrigued by how you werent allowed to sound black on the calls, etch though 95 of the women who worked in the job were black. Yeah, i make the joke that you think youre calling megyn fox and youre calling precious instead because, yeah, everyone looked like me. But you generally we did not hire people, women that could not make their voices sound white because the average caller is a white man who watches tv all day and he wants to call the girl he sees on tv, which happens to be a white woman. So if you dont but there are also calls you can call for a spanish girl, asian girl or black girl. Trevor so you just switch your voice . Yes, and i was the worst at black girl calls because they were racist. laughter because this is my voice, this is my face, and i dont so the guys would call and want me to sound blacker than my voice is. They want me to cut my words in half and aint me to say, aint. Theyd ask racist questions, like, you dont sound black. I would say, thats weird baud i am. They would say, ill give you taste. How do you feel about watermelon. And im, like, what . i kept getting in trouble. Trevor oh, man reading through the book, you tell all these stories. You share some of your darkest secrets and the tell it in a fun way. Its a rollercoaster journey. When you talk about your family, though, what kills me is how uh you talk about your name, right. You say how people cant pronounce gabourey for some reason. They come up with weird pronuns pronunciations. Heres how you pronounce my name and i make it easy for saying gabourey rimes with cabaret. laughter they would mispronounce it, and i would say, no i have flashbacks. I got real hot in my chest about it. Im sorry. Trevor its a beautiful story, an amazing book. Im excited for you. Do you think youre going to turn this into a movie . Oh, snap are you trying to be down . Trevor yeah. Baratunde trevor oh, this is just my face is available show for tonight. Thank you so much for joining us
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