Anything donald trump. [laughing] trevor well okay, trump. Stkopb ald trump once again rewriting the political play book bailing from tomorrows debate. Megyn kelly says trump is biased against him. Trump is not use to not controlling things. The truth is he doesnt get to control the media. Trevor wow, donald trump is skipping the republican president ial debate. Oh, with trump gone the other candidates may discuss other substantial issues like how much they hate each other on the stage. Its true what megyn kelly said. Trump is use to controlling things. Each morning he successfully winds one long back hair around his head 4000 times and keep it in place her neckly. Thats control. Trump bailing on the last debate before iowa. He doesnt like the moderator, megyn kelly. They have a history. Last august she asked him this. You have called women you dont like, fat pigs, dog, slobs, and disgusting animals. Your twitter account has several disparaging comments about womens looks. You once told a contestant on celebrity that you would like to see her on her knees. Is that a woman we should elect president. Trevor hell yes, said millions of americans. What makes megyn kelly fearsome, but not everyone feels that way. Its a small element in my life, megyn kelly. Im not a fan. When you meet her shes not sharp. Shes a third rate reporter. Who heard of her before the last debate. I refuse to call megyn kelly a whim bow. I will call her a lightweight reporter. Trevor nicely done, donald trump. Nicely done. Same way we wont call you an asshole we too are constrained by political correctness. Asshole. [cheers and applause] trevor now trump is entitled to his crazy opinion. It raises the question if he thinks megyn kelly is a lightweight why is he scared of her . Watching him pull out of the debate is like a Youtube Video where the huge dog doesnt walks past the cat. Why arent you doing it dog trump. No, i just cant do it i just cant do it i cant do it. Why are so you afraid . One perspective trump dropping out is like the act of a petulant child. Hes a genius. Once again, ladies and gentlemen, donald trump has won the only fight that matters to him, the fight for attention. Taking part in one more debate wouldnt help donald trump get that much press. Blowing it off its like the gates of a Natural Disaster crossed with a celebrity sex tape. That was weird. Im telling you donald trump is one of the greatest of all times. Look at this press release announcing his decision to skip the debates. Here is how it starts. As someone who wrote one of the best selling Business Books of all time out of the deal building incredible comments and has assets of the world, and has a personal net worth of many billions of dollars mr. Trump knows im sorry what. This sounds like a lot of unnecessary information. A lot of people dont realize this is how donald trump begins everything he writes. Press releases, books and personal cards. Dear lucy, as someone writing successful books and worth billions of dollars my thoughts are with you through your loss. This is great. May do something for the troops, not true. Ending like this running for office as a extremely successful person. This takes guts and the mentality our country needs to make America Great again. Ya, what America Needs is a president who will quit the moment things dont go his way. Leaving the country in the care of his hand picked Vice President of a Miss Universe sash. I mean, this doesnt happen a lot. I can say im totally surprised. I have said this before, people. The giant aoeg oh the crazy sentiments, the huge and questionable fortune, the relationship with facts. Donald trump is basically an african dictator this. Confirms it. Here is wha what happened a weeo with the multi billionaire president of uganda running for his fifth term. It was an eventful weekend for uganda which held its first president ial candidate debate. The head of the poles in february the president facing his toughest reelection in his 30 years in power was a no show. [laughing] trevor welcome, america. [laughing] trevor welcome to my world. We will be right back. [cheers and applause] those who define sophistication stand out. Those who dare to redefine it stand apart. The allnew lexus rx and rx hybrid. Never has luxury been this expressive. This is the pursuit of perfection. Rootmetrics, in the nations largest independent study, tested wireless performance across the country. Verizon, won big with one hundred fifty three state wins. A t and t got thirtyeight, sprint got two, and t mobile got, zero. Verizon also won first in the us for data, call speed, and reliability. A t and t got, text. Stuck on an average network . Join verizon and well cover your costs to switch. Things just got a whole lot a littlebetter. Introducing entrees loaded with flavor, not calories. Applebees grill bar favorites made a little better for you. Featuring new dishes, all under 650 calories and starting at just 9. 99. How do they make starburst taste so juicy . They use wicked small fighter jets to shoot the juiciness into every starburst. [ pilot ] its about to get juicy. Whoo i feel so aliii. It takes guts. [ female announcer ] starburst. Unexplainably juicy. Trevor welcome back today day. Back to the daily show. Quick question, you watch movies . Audience yes. Trevor me too. My favorite movies are those with a twist. The usual suspects, sixth sense, beauty and the beast. Yes it seems like a movie about acceptance but the message is accept people for how they look, they may turn out to be very hot. To me the best movies are where you think the bad guys are going to win. Then the last second the good guys turn it around. Basically old movies. Sometimes just sometimes life imitates art. The texas grand jury making a stunning decision about planned parenthood. A surprise twist. A impassioned debate of planned parenthood and secretly recorded videos. They have been cleared of illegally selling illegal tissues instead of grand jury trevor yes i love this. U. S. A. usa audience usa trevor i love this country. A group of antiabortion activists set out to make it look like planned parenthood was doing something illegal. They were cleared and then those making the videos were indicted. Its like they took everything, they took everything. [cheers and applause] trevor do you know how not guilty you have to be for a grand jury to send your accuser to trial. [laughing] trevor grand juries only listen to the prosecutor there. Is no defense. Prosecutors have so much control they often say they could get a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich. Thats a common phrase. They can, unless the ham sandwich is a cop. Then thats a different story. Well, to be fare, if the sandwich has to shoot the black guy was about to eat him. [ applause ] trevor its crazy to me. How the hell did we get here . There was a time when planned parenthood crimes were a slam dunk that republican candidates bet their spots on it. No reason there should be taxpayer funding. We shouldnt fund an ongoing criminal enterprise. They cut peoples heads off in the planned parent clinics. A fully formed fetus on the table. Heartbeating and legs kicking. Skphpb says we have to keep it alive to harvest its brain. Trevor im sorry, people. Im sorry that last clip was the last one. Thats karlie fee ow fiorinas d of firing people from hp. Im sorry, my bad. A group of antiabortion activists masked themselves as buyers and tried to get planned parenthood to admit to selling fetus tissues for profit. Those videos got nominated over straight out of compton for the oscars. [cheers and applause] trevor the point is it looked like planned parenthood was screwed. Last august officials in texas convened a grand jury to investigate them this. Is where it gets really fun. A republican governor had a republican Lieutenant Governor called for a republican da to probe the republican favorite targets in a republican state. Simply put the fix was in, or so they thought. The investigation into planned parenthood backfiring now for the antiabortion group that called the clinic into question. Now why theyre the ones charged with crimes. The surprise indictment by a texas grand jury said the under cover activists broke the law when they allegedly used fake california drivers licenses and posed as buyers of fetal parts. Trevor this is so fantastic. Theyre so busted. Also you used a fake id to try and buy baby parts. Thats the most disgusting thing you can buy with a fake id other than smirnoff ice. Now always with a co controversl case there are bound to be haters. This likes what the law reference to others a run away grand jury. A grand jury doing the opposite of what the District Attorney urged them to do. Remember the da here is a republican. It looks like the grand jury went rouge here. Trevor oh, went rouge . [laughing] trevor so, according to these people apparently a run away jury doesnt do exactly what the prosecutor tells it to do. Isnt the point of a jury they get to decide. The term rouge jury is an over reach. I love the idea of a rouge jury. [laughing] trevor like a grand jury going rouge. I think it would make for a really great movie. How does the jury fine the defendant . We find the defendant planned parenthood not guilty. Thank you. This jury is dismissed. Also we find the people making the planned parenthood videos, guilty. This is unorthodox. Also we find the chairs to be uncomfortable. The bailiffs fly to be down. We find bacon to be delicious. The internet can chill out about it. Order, order. We also find the judge handsome. Ill allow it. [ applause ]r trevor we will be right back. [cheers and applause] james drove his rav4 hybrid, unaware death was lurking. What . He was challenged by a team of lumberjacks. Lets do this. He would drive them to hard knocks canyon, where he would risk broken legs, losing limbs, and slipping and dying. Not helping. But death would have to wait. James left with newfound knowledge, a mans gratitude, and his shirt. How far will you take the allnew rav4 hybrid . Toyota. Lets go places. Video streaming burns tons of data. And those other guys love over charging you for it. Not tmobile now you can binge watch without watching your data. Its binge on only from tmobile. Get unlimited streaming on netflix, hbo now, hulu, and more. Plus get four lines with up to six gigs each for just thirtyfive bucks a line. Thats right. Six gigs each plus all the video streaming you want with binge on. Just thirtyfive bucks per line. And its only at tmobile. And where are all the the gogods . Gone . Wheres the streetwise hercules to fight the rising odds . I need a hero im holding out for a hero til the Morning Light hes gotta be sure and its gotta be soon and hes gotta be larger than life larger than life. Melda. Im john. Hello, nice to meet you. We invited you here today to get your honest opinion about this new car. To keep things unbiased, we removed all the badging and logos. So, what do you think it is . I would say lexus. Maybe acura. Feels like a bmw. Lets look at the interior. Reminds me of the inside of my friends lexus. So, this car supports apple carplay™ siri, open maps. Nice. Wow. She gets me. Someone really took their time laying this out. Yeah. This car also has teen driver technology. It even mutes the radio until the seatbelts are buckled. Wow. My husband could use that. Im very curious what it is. What price range would you put this car in . Fifty to sixtyfive. The eightythousand dollar bracket. Well, what if i told you this is the 2016 chevy malibu . This is a malibu . Yeah, lets go check it out. No way, its a chevy oh, wow. And it sells for . It starts at twentytwo five. Gasp what . Oh wow. Im very impressed. Yeah. I mean with all this technology . Thats a game changer, really. I want one. Ill take the house, too. I was walking home. Just picked us up two breakfast croissants for four bucks, when this bear attacked. With one swipe, it devoured one of the croissants. Then jack showed up and took care of the beast, so i could escape. And thats what happened to your breakfast croissant. And yours . It survived. Share it with yourself. Freshly cracked egg with ham and bacon, or sausage, get two breakfast croissants for four bucks. [cheers and applause] trevor welcome back. My guest tonight is a comedian whose web series is called comedians in cars getting coffee. My wife is very involved. Were going out tonight. Three and a half hours. [laughing] what just happened now. Dont you do a recap with your wife. No. No recap. No. Do i the work. Do i the work. I bring home the money. I dont put it on her head. I got it. No discussion. No discuss. She will ask how was sebastian. I will say, he was great. Its a blip in the conversation. Now youre the jew and im the italian. Thats one for me. Trevor please welcome, jerry seinfeld. [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] thank you. Revor oh no need to applaud. Its very sweet. Very nice. Trevor i applaud you though. In real life i dont applaud you. I feel you deserve it. Thank you. What were you going to say, i cut you off . You said you look trevor you look amazing. Thank you, you know [laughing] i like, i like two guys in suits. What is funny about comedians to me is looking normal but theyre not. These comedians now, your generation, younger people, you know just the shirt out and the you know. Its not funny. [laughing] its not funny. Trevor you say that like eddie murphy was wearing a suit when he was doing raw. I feel were the more normal generation. Who, you are . Trevor ya, we are normal. You dress normal. Trevor you say its not funny. I would never wear this normally. This is funny, to me its funny. To me a guy in a suit is funny. Trevor i wear a suit every day. Right. Trevor thank you for being here. You just got back in israel. Yes comedy in israel for the first time last movement. Trevor first time. Ya. We did four shows in this arena, the audiencees were mazing. Israelis, everything you ask them, you know is either its no problem. Its no problem. Or no, its impossible. Its impossible. There is noggin between. No problem. No problem. What if we wanted to go in the afternoon . Its impossible. Impossible. Trevor all or nothing. I am surprise you go anywhere. Youre 50 something. Im 61. [cheers and applause] trevor im struck my your age. Which you and you are going to love. [laughing] youre going to love when you get to this age. Now when people ask me to do something, i just say no. [laughing] [cheers and applause] i just say no. Trevor thats the only perk . No, no. There are many others. I dont turn around. [laughing] if im walking with someone and they go look at that and its behind me, forget it. [laughing] trevor oh, man. Im sure i have seen Something Like that or [laughing] there is one in front of me. Hi a friend, this is true. Hi a friend tell me, so im 61, i have a wife, three kids. Trevor ya. You know. So a friend told me, its not like a every day friend, a good friend i have known for a long time. Say, you know i think we have issues in our relationship. When youre in your 60s and you have youre married and have kids. I went im sure we do, lets just wrap it up. Whatever it is, im sure youre right, but im sure i was the bad person. I dont care. [laughing] lets just wrap it. Trevor in your 60s you become israeli. Impossible to turn around. Yes. Trevor just wrap it up. Comedians in cars getting coffee. A strange thing for me. You seemed to retire from everything. [laughing] trevor then in your retirement you then created a monster hit. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Trevor with your star power you could of main people come and watch it somewhere. You made it easy and put it online. Ya, i just saw the phone, you know once the smartphones happened i thought what a show for that. Its just for that. Trevor its not meant to be watched on tv . Not really. People r people are watching it on tv. I thought what about a pocket show. You know what i mean. Its like, its just two guys [laughing] sometimes a woman, theyre just talking. We compress it when you have your phone you dont want there is no, nobody wants to less work. We dont want more work. Trevor all of us as people, right . Yes. Amazon. Com, one click ordering. I saw, that i thought theyre right. Trevor dont want to click twice. I dont want it now. I dont want it. [ applause ] trevor but now i dont want it that bad. Trevor the problem i feel you are enabling. I know. Trevor you have activism because of. That people say im part of the clause, click. Ya, right. I cant solve everything. [laughing] [laughing] trevor im surprised you came to the show. I dont know what im doing here. Trevor neither do i. I know i really like you. I like you. Trevor thank you, very much, jerry i really appreciate that. [cheers and applause] we had a really cool experience. I invited trevor to be on my show before he got this gig. Trevor a lot of people dont realize that. Yes. I thought this guy is cool. I want to talk to this guy. He came on and did the show. Between that and us doing the show he gets this. Then of course everyone gets him. It was fun i caught you in that moment. It was fun to catch you in the moment. Trevor comedy timing, now were here. Were here. Trevor im going to savior this moment for a moment. Smells good in here. Trevor wonderful. Do you wear cologne . Trevor no. I thought i smelled something nice. Trevor that was me. Not the cologne. Youre suppose to say, i just had gas. [laughing] thats kid stuff. Revor thats an american joke. When you have kids thats hilarious to them. [laughing] trevor oh, man. The new season on comedians in cars getting coffee is streaming now. Comediansincarsgettingcoffee. Com jerry seinfeld, everybody. [cheers and applause] it started with a single connection. And the network was born. It soon grew from a luxury to a necessity. So at t built a network just for you. One that connects your businesses, devices, cars, mobile entertainment, family and homes. We grow as you grow. Always evolving to work for you how and where you need it. This is your network. The network of at t. Hey, thats lactaid. Milk right. 100 real milk, just without the lactose. So you can drink all you want. With no discomfort . Exactly. Here, try some. Mmm, it is real milk. See . Delicious. Hoof bump oh. Right here girl, boom lactaid®. 100 real milk. No discomfort and for a creamy and delicious treat, try lactaid® ice cream we love, love, chocolaty, creamy, with a Little Something extra. Mmm deliciousness. Cookies or almonds. Yumminess. Hersheys is mine, yours, our chocolate. Those who define sophistication stand out. Those who dare to redefine it stand apart. The allnew lexus rx and rx hybrid. Never has luxury been this expressive. This is the pursuit of perfection. Trevor thats our show, everybody. Tomorrow night, tomorrow we will be live tweeting the republican debate. Follow us on twitter thedailyshow. Here is your moment of zen. When they sent out the wise guys press released a little while ago with roger ailes. I said bye bye. Larry tonightly, rapper b. O. B goes on an antiscience twitter spree, claiming the earth is flat. As a result, hes currently polling third in the republ