and gentlemen. welcome to the report, everybody. thank you so much for joining us. ( cheers and applause ) folks, if you watch the other news channels-- and i hope you don't-- you know there's only one lead story today and that is the racist comments of l.a. clippers owner and darth vader with his helmet off, donald sterling. ( laughter ) we've all heard what he said, and if you haven't heard, you're a racist. ( laughter ) but just to refresh our outrage, sterling and his wife are suing his ex-mistress to recover $1.8 million sterling gave her. coincidentally, a recording was mysteriously released of sterling lecturing his mistress about her friends. >> it bothers me a lot if you want to broadcast that you're associating with black people. do you have to? why publicize it on the instagram? >> why bring the black peoples to the game? >> how about your whole life, every day. you could do whatever you want. you could sleep with them, you could bring them in, you could do whatever you want. the little i ask you is not to promote it on-- and not to bring them to my games. >> stephen: black people can't attend his games. ( booing ) i couldn't have said that better myself. ( laughter ) folks, i am shocked that sterling would perpetuate the cruel stereotype that white people are genetically superior at basketball spectating. oh, let me guess, because our musculo-skeletal structure makes it easier for us to pump cheese. that is racist. and everyone has expressed outrage, folk. even the clippers' players made a statement. >> the clippers players, they say is a silent protest, dump, the warm-up uniforms on center court and wearing their jerseys inside out concealing the clippers' logo. >> stephen: they concealed the beloved logo of the clippers which we all know is... ( laughter ) i want to say a guy getting a haircut or-- oh, a tow nail clipper with googly eyes. but, folks, as a lifelong believer in looking not racist, i-- i will not be out-outraged. so i hereby condemn donald sterling not only for his racist comments but for that last thing he said to his mistress about her black friends. >> how about your whole life, every day, you could do whatever you want. you could sleep with them. you could bring them in. you could do whatever you want. >> stephen: you could sleep with him? i'm sorry, but whatever happened to the sanctity of traditional infidelity? ( laughter ) i mean, it is one man, one mistress, $1.8 million. and sterling should know better because he is an old hand at adultery. well, he's an old everything. but here's an actual transcript of his testimony from a 2003 legal dispute with a previous mistress. sterling: well, i fool around sometimes. i do. when a girl seduces me and tells me all of these hot stories and dirty things and tells me how much she wants to suck on me and take my shoes off and lick my feet and touches. when i'm in a limousine, she takes off all her clothes, the limo driver said, "what is going on?" and she started sucking on me on the way to mr. koon's house, and i thank her-- i thank her for making me feel good. lawyer: sir, the question was, is this your handwriting? ( laughter ) ( applause ) ( cheers ) bad boybag boys of america, nevk this man paper or plastic? today, n.b.a. commissioner and carbohydrate-free life form adam silver announced sterling's just punishment. >> effective immediately, i am banning mr. sterling for life from any association with the clippers organization or the n.b.a. >> stephen: banned for life. who knows how many months that might be? ( laughter ) but if this man-- if this man still wants to own a team, i believe he should be consistent and start his own all-white league. ( laughter ) the games will be just as exciting. he passes. and he passes back. and-- and-- and he dribbles. and-- and-- and he passes? and hoe pints. and he dribbles and he points and he waves. and, and, and he passes. and he dribbles and he passes. and he passes back. and he passes. and he passes back. and he shoots. and the all-white crowd is loving it. ( cheers and applause ). i've got to work on my two-handed bounce-back. nation, you know, i believe honesty is the best policy, but a close second is lying about how honest you are. this is tip of the hat, wag of the finger. ( cheers and applause ). first up on tip-wag, i am a huge fan of "star wars." i saw the original movie when i was 13, and let me tell you, princess leia's firm, high buns stirred something in me. so when i heard they were making a new starmovie let's just say i was the one to shoot first. so star-- ( laughter ) ( applause ) so far-- ( cheers ) those are starfans. so far we know that mark hamill, carrie fisher, and harrison ford are all confirmed to be in the new movie which i believe will be titled "episode 7: a new hip." now, some super fans out there are a little skittish about the relaunch but the director is my good friend j.j. abrams, who just released this photo of the very first table read of the new movie. it is so cool to get a glimpse behind the scenes. which is why i'm giving a wag of my finger to j.j. abrams for blowing it. i mean, look at this photo. everything is wrong. where are the creature designs? every single character is humanoid with two arms and two legs. and those are clearly not canons. they're tatooine battle couches. they should be dantooine attack soaf as. this they ever heard of the hal condatabase? i don't think so. oh, but stephen, i'm sure he'd say, it's just one photo. cry me a farm. ... next up, folks, i make no secret of my love of ronald wilson reagan. my dog's name is gipper. my pool is shaped like a jellybean and i keep a sledgehammer in my trunk so at a moment's notice i can tear down that wall. my apologies once again to the san diego zoo. i'm sure eventually you will find those leopards. folks, i have long said reagan does not get enough praise. yes, washington, d.c.'s airport is named after him but he has to share that honor with president national. so i was delighted to see this. >> the first item for consideration is hr4017 to designate a peak located in nevada as mount reagan. >> this would designate one of the peaks of near las vegas as mount reagan. >> stephen: that, of course, is coming to you hot and hard from national committee on resources from cpan. i'm going to give a tip of my hat to the u.s. congress for giving reagan his own mount and i know what a majestic geologic formation it is. nation, behold mount reagan. lo how she soars 1,900 feet above the dirt. this brown mountain's majesty is crowned with an off-limits substation. all other presidential peaks bow down before ye, nownt reagan. mount mckinley. if this mountain doesn't seem impressive to you now, just give people sthirt years to forget what it's really like and it will seem like the greatest mountain of all time. we'll be right back. 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( laughter ) his latest move makes meantime to turn in my badge it that i made for myself. jim. >> thousands of convicted drug offenders could be walking free soon thanks to the obama administration's sweeping new plan for clemency. >> the justice department formally announced the new criteria today as part of an after the to shrink the prison population. deputy attorney general james cole said it's aimed primarily at drug offenders given harsh penalties under old sentencing guidelines. >> the president could grant clemency to "hundreds perhaps thousands of people." >> stephen: "hundreds, perhaps thousands of people?" that's like emptying three prison cells. ( laughter ) and why are we being subjected to this jailhouse crock? it's all-- ( laughter ) it's all part of a comprehensive effort to roll back long-mandatory minimum sentences meeted out after the crack-fueled crime wave of the 80s. oh, great! now these 80s thugs will be out on the street in their one-strap overalls seeking revenge against mcgruff the crime dog. you know this is a bad idea, folks, because president obama got it from the only people less trusted than convicts -- congress. you see, back in 2010 congress passes the so-called fair sentencing act to reduce the 100-1 disparity for sentences for crack cocaine and those for powdered cocaine. huge mistake, folks. they may be the same drug but there was something about crack offenders that just made them seem more... convictable. ( laughter ) somewhere on my i don't know what. we all know there's a sinister motive behind applying the law equally. >> more "get out of jail free" cards from president obama. is it compassion or clever politics? >> he's aware midterms are coming up and it's a way to amp up his base. >> because it's 2014 my political mind starts to wonder, why are they talking about this now? again, is this a national priority? i can't help but think it's all to rally the -- >> stephen: that's right, obama is clearly rallying want liberal base by releasing drug dealers. it's totally unfair. republicans can't rally their supporters that way. there are no bankers in jail to release. ( cheers and applause ). and-- a lot of banker fans here tonight, too. ( laughter ) and break out the vegan champagne, lefties. because it couldn't be easier for these hoodlums to get out. >> convicts must be serving a sentence under old law that is greater than required under current law. convicted of nonvice president crimes without links to organized crime. have served at least 10 years. have no other significant criminal history. good prison records and no history of violence. >> stephen: oh, sure, they may not have i history of violence but what. a future of violence? because if i'd been thrown in jail for possession of marijuana then got out 10 years later and found out pot is legal now. ( laughter ) i'm pretty sure i'd shoot someone. 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[ female announcer ] watch live tv anywhere. the x1 entertainment operating system, only from xfinity. ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. my guest tonight is the director of "spy kids" and "from dusk till dawn." i'll talk to him from 11:53 to 11:59. please welcome robert rodriguez. ( cheers and applause ). mr. rodriguez, thank you so much for coming on. >> how you doing? >> stephen: now, everybody knows you're the writer, director, producer, editor, choreographer-- >> sometimes cook. >> stephen: sometimes cook? all right. are you a good cook? all right? you've been making movies for over 20 years. elmariachi your first movie. $7,000 to make that movie? >> that's a lot when you're a college kid. >> stephen: i know. how did you get $7,000 as a college kid gisold my body to science. >> stephen: really. were you a blood donor? >> i was a lab rat. they took a bunch out of my arm, cut it out at the end and i got $2,000 in seven days. >> stephen: did the speed healer work? >> no. >> stephen: i was hoping you could be to be wolverine now. >> it never came out on the market so i don't think they perfected it. >> stephen: everybody know knows you from "from dusk till dawn," and "spy kids." you've now got your own cable tv new york called el ray. el ray. okay. i find it and you threatening. ( laughter ). >> i understand. >> stephen: because you're not-- i mean, you're a mexican american but you're not from mexico. you're from texas. >> right, i'm from texas. u.s. hispanic. >> stephen: you're u.s. hispanic. >> but we come in peace and we have you surrendered. ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: the thing is i don't cowt that people will watch this, and that's what worries me is because, a, it's not in-- is it in english? >> it is in english, actually. >> stephen: then why isn't the name english? el ray is not english. >> i called it el ray because el ray means the captain. everybody who watches it feels like king. everything you want is there. the program is in english. i have five kids and i realized they didn't have anything that represented them in this country. it is also mainstream so anyone can watch it. you don't think of "spy kids" as being hispanic films. >> stephen: i do. because i know you directed them, that's why. >> most people wouldn't know that. they'd watch it because it's popular entertainment. and i thought the network shouldn't same way but for those who are, diversity is really key at the network, and i think that's important. when we did the research, we found there were about 110 english-language networks in the u.s. about 10 were african american. but the largest minority is hispanic, and there wasn't one like this. i decided to go and make one. >> stephen: what language are the dog channels in? >> i don't even they understand. but the advertising is really interesting. >> stephen: have you thought of starting a dog channel in chihuahua? what what upset me is i think it's going to be successful. in 20 years or something, hispanic will be majority in the united states? >> we're 1 in 6 right now. and it will probably be 1 in 3 by 2050. so i figured it was about time to have a network diverse enough to include a lot of voices. it was very hard to break into the industry, seeing looking at your audience how diverse they are, for them have to have a voice. >> stephen: how many are of hispanic origin? ( cheers ) that's almost three of them. how dare you, sir. how many of are you of a diverse background? ( cheers and applause ) that's a baker's dozen right there. so let me ask you about some of the programming here. the new-- your first original drama is "from dusk till dawn." the series, it premiered in march. that's based on your own movie. >> yes. >> stephen: okay, how hard did you negotiate with yourself to get the rights to that? >> it was like, "robert, what do you think?? >> stephen: let's take a clip of the first episode. >> she's real. she's real. >> stephen: how much of the series is just that? it's that over and over again? i think might have a hit on your hand. >> you can just watch that over and over again. >> stephen: is this going to be the beginning of an empire for you? are you going to be the hispanic oprah? ( laughter ) >> that was the original goal. but i think now it's kind of really wanted to create a place for other people to be able to come and be a part of this network. i really wanted to provide a platform for people-- i call it the people's network, so people have a voice. >> stephen: it's all people. you don't have to be hispanic, right? >> not at all. >> stephen: speaking of exploding hispanic demographics, you're one of 10 children. >> i am. >> stephen: i'm one of 11 children. >> wow. >> it's not a contest but i'm winning. would you like to race me in how fast you can say your brothers and sisters and i can say mine? all right, all right? one, two, three, and then we'll go. one, two, three, and then we go. we don't go on three. okay. and then you go from oldest to youngest? >> i might beat you. >> stephen: you won't. ready, one, two, three. jimmy, eddie,... ( cheers and applause ) robert rodriguez, thank you so much. el ray network. 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( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: that's it for the report, everybody. good night. captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is dale dill with jon stewart. -- "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. good one tonight. my guest author william cohan to talk about the duke lacrosse scannedel, the price of silence. it costs $3.99. that's right. there's breaking news in the case of l.a. clippers owner donald sterling. he has come under fire for his thoughts on the instagram-ability of -- i guess you could call it girlfriend/black person friendship. >> effective immediately, i am banning mr. sterling for life. [cheers and applause] >> jon: yes! >> from any association with the clippers organization or the nba. [cheers and applause] ♪