ten, only on cnn. thanks for joining me this evening. i'm omar jimenez. i'll see you again. >> it happens, don't judge. don't judge. and the thing is, there is a few things i want to ask about this book of yours, because i love it, but everyone seems to love your book, but why trash harriet tubman? >> trenton no, that is not in there. >> it is not? well, your book is a triumph. what you owe its success to? low expectations? no, really, because -- dominate a dying media. >> that is a really good the best seller list a couple of years ago, staying on there. people for years, they are -- >> [ laughter ] thank you! i have a monologue. now, this is really interesting. it is amazing to write a book. >> yes, it is. >> and to conquer a field. because next, you will probably get a deal with blockbuster video. and you are filled with opinions! i love this, because i have always loved bill maher's opinions. you know, like, opinions about covid, the whole covid thing. i love getting my medical advice from a club act. what hospital did you study at? yale center? medical center? >> if you really want to get into that, we see that a couple of years have passed, some of the things they said, you are wrong. even the new york times now is saying they started in the lab, that it was not from the wet markets. what you think about that? no, but, i would call you -- this is what i think about this. i think you are a renaissance man. i do. i mean, i am looking at your notes. you are a talkshow host, you are an author. >> sure. >> well, that is the whole list. >> also, a standup comic. >> it is all in this bucket. it is a wonderful, wonderful book. now -- you know, i love this book. thank you so much. there it is. and here is the thing, it is filled with opinions. are there any topics for you that are off-limits, other than foreplay? >> [ laughter ] well, that is a great question, jiminy. >> is a very good question. >> a lot of people ask me that. i would say, a lot of things that are boring. i don't stay away from anything because -- [ laughter ] >> no, no, no, i got lasix. >> there you go! >> it's bill maher! okay. see, that is where i got mixed up. >> it really clears everything up for you? >> it does. and for you, it was interesting. like, oh, your approach to bill -- >> well, you are asking me if anything is off-limits. i always say, nothing is off limits unless -- >> hold on, sorry. yes, we will update. no, no, no. my down there hair is turning purple for a reason. there is too much chlorine in the jacuzzi. so, i start to go back. >> that's -- [ laughter ] okay. >> no, i want to hear it. >> no, no, no. >> because you are interesting. >> i'm glad you think that because you have interviewed all the biggest stars in the world. i remember when you had him, as he called him, tom hank. >> tom hank was wonderful. i said to steven spielberg, when are you going to do the big one that connects with the people, you know? so, here is what i want to talk you about -- and this seems like a random conversation, but i think it is an important question. what is the largest thing you have accidentally dropped into a toilet? mine was a whole rotisserie chicken once, and i don't know what happened, but enough of that. i want to know about the real -- i want to know about the real bill maher. i want to know your personal journey. i want to know, but in not too much detail because i don't really care. but, like, other than l ron hubbard, who has influenced you? >> [ applause ] >> who have been the big people? >> certainly, not l ron hubbard. that is a religion and, you know, i am an atheist. that is one of the topics we will be topping about. >> what about that influence, bill maher? >> well, when i was a kid -- >> i would love to hear it tonight. >> [ laughter ] >> [ audience reacts ] >> oh, god. i cannot. i've got to bring more kleenex out. well, when i was a kid, obviously, i wanted to be a comedian when i was very young. [ laughter ] it was like, i mean, johnny carson -- [ laughter ] johnny carson, and george carlin, and robert klein. [ laughter ] >> and these were influences? >> yeah. >> [ applause ] >> when i was first just thinking about being a comedian, there was a show on from canada called "sec tv". >> [ laughter ] >> >> [ audience reacts ] >> almost everyone in that cast was a genius, almost. but, that was a big influence on me, that show. >> well, thank you! so much on behalf of that cast. i interviewed some of them, but now they don't talk to me. i don't know what that is about. but, then, you are also a big fan of peta. >> peta, the people for ethical treatment of animals. >> i'm with you, bill, because i have one of the heaviest set dogs in the world. the worms in her stool have type two diabetes, and i'm -- >> [ audience reacts ] >> wow, you are -- >> because, which endangered species do you feel was kind of asking for it? >> well, none of them, of course. all the creatures on this earth should be able to live freely and to propagate. [ laughter ] not to be hunted into extinction by men. i mean, we are getting to the point where we are only going to eat like, three things. cows, pigs -- [ laughter ] >> you would tell me if you had a stroke, wouldn't you? >> [ applause ] >> may be -- it may be coming. >> yeah, well, look, let me just say this. you are absolutely sensational. >> [ laughter ] thank you. >> and other than laughing, what you think your comedy needs? you know, really, bill, because everyone loves you, they do. >> thank you. >> i mean, republicans don't like you, democrats don't like you, but my wife and kids do, then and the twins. >> no, i have never been married. >> this has been so much fun. we have got to wrap it up. your book is absolutely the greatest, ever. >> thank you, jiminy. >> and you know, thank you, because i have always felt -- and i mean this, honest to god -- but, i feel that the boring and tedious gifts make me a better interviewer, so thank you. >> jiminy glick, ladies and gentlemen! thank you. that is the funniest thing i have ever seen. jiminy glick! all right. okay. all right. all right. follow that, guys. all right, he is new york state's former three term governor, andrew cuomo is over here. and former republican congressman from illinois, wrote the book "renegade," adam kinzinger is with us. all right. you're such a pro! just melted into laughter. but, what can you do with that? i mean, that is the funniest thing. okay, so, switching gears here right now, since both of you have been in office and are recently out of office, i am not sure that is your choice, but -- well, honestly, i feel like you are both like the coach you see in the booth, for the nfl, nba, really trying to get back in the game. he is in the booth now, but waiting for that coaching job. so, let me ask the political question. if biden won't step aside -- and it looks like you won't even though i think he should've a long time ago and it is still not too late -- the question becomes, what kind of campaign is he running? two political savants here, is he running a campaign? and if you were running it, what would you tell him and what would you do to run it there? >> yeah, i don't think he is running an especially good campaign, frankly. i think there is a big question that he has to answer, which is about his age, his viability, it that are a. and i think the only way you answer that is by getting out there and letting people see you. that is the only way you put it to rest. and i don't think you can hide from that, bill. and i think it should be more regressive in that regard, and also more aggressive in talking about what his campaign is all about, right? because it is really bigger than trump and biden, and this campaign is about division versus unity. it is about whether we are going to exploit differences, or whether we are going to find commonality. is it still the united states? or, is it the divided states? i think it is that binary of choice, and you should frame the race that way. >> that seems like the kind of lofty ideas he is running on that is not working. people seem to be saying, we care about the pocketbook issues. >> yeah. >> and this is across the lines of race, gender, everybody seems to be saying the same thing. it is inflation, it is pocketbook issues, things like that that hit us every day, in our everyday lives. and you guys are talking about ukraine, and gaza, and israel, and democracy. i agree with you, democracy is on the line. it just doesn't seem to connect with the people. i mean, i could go through the stats here of the people he is losing. it is a little scary, because he is losing the people who are supposed to be the ones in the democratic camp. immigration, i saw this week, okay, he is allowing u.s. citizens now, for their spouses to apply for permanent residency. been here for, sometimes, up to 10 years, married, not a citizen. okay. that is kind of pandering and not working. 45% of hispanic voters prefer biden, compared to 39% for trump. last time he won, 59%, that was 2020, so he lost 14 points there. he went to morehouse, he said, what is democracy if you have to be 10 times better than anyone else to get a fair shot? that seems like pandering to me. black voters under 50, he led by 80 points in 2020, now by 37. still, a lot. but, he lost 43 points off a key constituency. student loans, he has forgiven $144 million in student loans. only 36% of student debt holders like it. i mean, if you can't win the people you are pandering to, i mean, i get it, politics is somewhat about pandering. that is not even an insult. you are supposed to be able to do what you want to some degree and also be a leader. but, if you are not winning these groups -- and he has lost 8% off women since 2020 -- yet, i read in the polls that he pulled ahead this week. explain that to me? >> because trump is psycho and i think people are starting to see that. i mean, honestly. >> we have known that. >> but, i think if you look, the last few years, trump has kind of been in and out of the press. everybody is still consumed with him. but, when you start seeing him talk again, i do think the felonies have hurt him, but when you see him talk again, people feel this exhaustion coming back. so, i think this is a change. what is happening right now is that there is still this belief that identity politics works, and i don't think it works. >> it doesn't. >> it doesn't. the political realignment is kind of this middle class. >> it is a sign of progress. >> yeah, it is. >> it is a sign of the progress we have made in this country. >> and look, there is no doubt, you have to speak to people where they are, and it is about the cost of living. and not as an abstract concept. it is about the cost of your groceries, and gasoline, healthcare, et cetera. those are the issues that he has to address. but, i still think one of the issues he has on the table, bill, is his personal capacity to lead. and that has to be answered at the same time. >> and i think -- also, look at immigration. this is screaming at people as the number one concern. and as a political party, you have a choice to make. you can either listen to the concerns like you were talking about earlier, or at some point, say those concerns aren't real. i am -- people are concerned about the border. i am moderate almost liberal on immigration, i think we have to be a welcoming country but we have to have six 30 on the border. i think his executive order was important, but then they come out with this new thing which kind of washes away what he did on the executive order. i think leaned forward on immigration, you are going to take off your left base but that is okay because they are going to vote for you. who is not voting for you and who you have to try to win is the middle. >> yeah. i agree with that. i agree with that. >> [ applause ] >> his immigration policy was a mistake, right? i get the theory of the extreme left, we are a land of the great -- immigrants, we all came in as immigrants, i get it. but, to just open the borders with no plan, you don't know where they go, you don't know who was going to pay for them, they wind up in cities all across the country, new york has a couple hundred thousand. in hotels, costing new york city a fortune. no jobs, no training, no help assimilating into society. so, who did you even help, right? there was a great theory -- >> well, you have the person in your old job, the governor of new york, the democrats saying, "don't come here." those are her exact words, "don't come here." and the mayor of new york saying, "this is going to ruin our city." just hearing those talking points, i would think those are republicans. >> but, they couldn't stop it. the governor is saying, she didn't want them outside new york city. but, the mayor could have said, no. the governor could have said, no. many mayors and governors said no. but, new york was more of the ideological left, "all are welcome." now, we are finding out, 200,000 people later, you needed a plan. you needed to know what to do with these people. >> [ applause ] >> and trump is -- trump is up. he has a 23 point edge with latinos. on the issue of border security. i feel like this is another one of those issues, where democrats trying to be so un-racist are actually racist because they don't see latinos as americans. like, they care about border security, too. they are here. and, you know, as one of the few republicans who -- i must commend you -- says you are going to vote for biden, right? >> [ audience reacts ] >> so, usually, republicans who don't want trump, they just still don't have the balls to say, yeah, i am going to vote for the other guy, i am not going to write in mickey mouse, or ronald reagan, or some stupid bullshit like that. but, wes moore, the maryland governor, afghan vet, 45, he should be running. mass pardon of 175,000 marijuana convictions this week. >> yeah. >> biden could do it. i mean, trump was in las vegas, where i am going later today, to perform this weekend at mgm grand. >> [ applause ] >> in vegas, he was talking off the top of his head, "no taxing tips," because a lot of people are waiters or waitresses in that industry. i know that will go the way i go, no taxing tips. but, again, it is kind of a pander. but, if it works. and again, the marijuana thing, that is not a panderer, even though it would work that way. it's just good common sense and politics. i don't know why he doesn't do things like that. or, you mentioned healthcare. i mean, the obama subsidies expire next year unless congress acts. why doesn't he run on, this guy is going to take it away, i was one of the ones who gave it to you. it is like 10 god damn words. i don't get it. i think he is just not running a good campaign. >> yeah, i think that is the thing. he has to be aggressive against donald trump. what donald trump has going for him, he has that lizard rain that just knows exactly what people want to hear at the moment, like the tip thing, and he can pander like that. joe biden is a decent man. >> right. >> and he needs to go against what donald trump is saying and talk about what this really means for things like abortion policy, for things like healthcare, it. he has to go hard on that. and i think, i hope, you will see that, particularly as it will be a continuing tight race. >> the debate in six days -- these new rules. here are the new rules. no audience. never seen that at a debate. no huddling with your staff in the two breaks. no notes, and they cut the mics when you are not talking. also, each candidate gets a type of pen, a bottle of water, and a notepad. the winner is the one who can tell which is which. >> [ applause ] >> who do these rules help? >> i don't know. here is the thing that concerns me a little bit, is part of this exhaustion with trump is that he doesn't shut up, he keeps talking. remember the last debate, where he kept talking over biden and biden just kind of sat back? at actually helped biden. i worry that the mic cut situation -- it is probably better for america because we get to hear real things talked about -- but i worry that is going to tamp down on some of the cycle is that he has and people would be able to see it as well. >> he will keep talking, even when the mic is off. >> absolutely. >> [ applause ] >> you know, biden has to look, if you had to pick a word, strong. he has to look like he did in the state of the union, he has to come out, he has to be strong. trump will be overbearing because he thinks he is going to stroll his strength just by overpowering biden, and i think he will do it, and shutting off the mic, i really believe, he is going to keep talking. >> yeah, well, and the republicans believe he will be, because he is on drugs. i have got to say this, but, i have to say this about the republicans, man. when they get a new talking point -- >> of. >> i don't know if they meet in a secret underground lair, but when the memo goes out, they all get on the same page and the new page is that biden, yes, we all say he is feeble most of the time. when he is not, when he is not being feeble, it is because he is on drugs. we put together a little run of people talking about this on conservative media. >> tonight, america saw, let's say, a very different joe biden. might call him jacked up joe. >> joe biden must have been jacked up on something. >> he's jacked up. >> they jacked him up. >> they need to goose him and use him. >> he is going to be so pumped up, he is going to be pumped up. >> i'm going to demand a drug test. >> i don't want him coming in like the state of the union. he was high as a kite. >> so, that it. joe biden, he is jacked up, he is coked out, he is completely out of control. i think they are onto something here. would you like to see some of the proof that they have? >> [ audience reacts ] >> for example, the white house gift shop now sells a tiny spoon with the white house seal. there it is, right there. he expanded obamacare to cover nosebleeds. he wants to move the debate to miami. well, there you go. >> [ applause ] >> now, he is asking hunters nurse for his friend. lately, when he sniffs women's hair, he has been using a straw. oh, god! terrible. he named a post office after marion barrett. [ laughter ] his secret service code name is andy dick. i mean, come on. he has been referred to the dea as a bunch of fucking narcs. lately, he stays up until the crack of dusk. and he keeps babbling about how he wants to spend more time working on his music. >> [ applause ] ♪we can secure our world.♪ ♪watch out for offers too good to be true.♪ that's phishing! ♪someone's trying to take advantage of you.♪ learn more at cisa.gov/secureourworld ♪that's how we can secure our world!♪ ♪we can secure our world.♪ ♪don't just use a password alone.♪ ♪mfa sends a call, a text or a code to your phone.♪ learn more at cisa.gov/secureourworld ♪that's how we can secure our world!♪ we have to go to new rules. all right. thank you. >> [ applause ] >> okay! new rule, don't eat infected canadian bear meat like a south dakota man did, because the bad news is, now he has worms. the good news is, if comic books are true, he will turn into a superhero. >> [ applause ] >> and have the powers of either a bear, or a worm, or possibly an undercooked canadian. >> [ audience reacts ]. >> but, be careful with worms. bobby kennedy caught worms and they went right to his head. new rule, before you pay $40 for this theft deterrent light box that makes robbers think you are home watching tv, shop around because you should know that for $50, you can buy an actual tv. >> [ applause ] >> yeah, leave that on when you are not home. it really looks like a tv. robbers can see it from the street and think, huh, let's steal that tv. >> [ applause ] >> new rule, these children can celebrate the 50th anniversary of the rubik's cube, but don't bother inviting me. i find them difficult, annoying, and pointless. i don't like the rubik's cube, either. new rule, if you are selling me something you claim is clinically proven to reduce pain, -- >> [ laughter ] >> and it looks like this, you have to tell me what the fuck it is, and where does it go? and how it reduces pain, because if it is going in me, it looks like it causes pain. >> [ cheers and applause ] >> new rule -- >> [ laughter ] >> -- whatever wrapped boy summer is, leave me out of it. according to the internet, women are gaga for a new type of hot guy that has rodent -like features. signs your man might qualify might include he drags pizza slices down subway steps, and when he comes, you jump up and scream. all right. and finally, new rule, "ok, boomer" isn't an argument, it is actually an admission you don't have one. gen z complains a lot that i make fun of them, but i don't feel too bad about it because they don't engage with the idea itself. it is always just, "you're old." yet, that is not an argument. it is a prejudice, the thing you purport to hate. i'm sorry -- >> [ applause ] >> i'm sorry that i can't look at your queers for palestine banner and pretend it is not idiotic. but, just because something is progressive, doesn't always make it progress. it is about ideas, not age. to prove my point, i would like to talk about how mind blowing lee, batshit crazy people my age are. a funny thing is happening in this election. the younger voters are liking trump more and more and the over 60 crowd -- which normally liens republican -- is this time preferring biden, and i think i know why. if you are my age, you have seen friends and loved ones go down a facebook rabbit hole, or get sucked into the fox news vortex and never come back the same, transformed from a normal person into some lunatic who is hoarding survival seeds, and -- >> [ applause ] >> thinks jewish space lasers cause wildfires. and chem trails are a form of mind control. there is a viral tweet that says, "fox news and facebook did to our parents what they said video games would do to us." >> [ applause ] >> i think the reason biden is winning seniors is, we want our friends back. we all -- >> [ applause ] >> we all have that uncle, or grandparent, or in law, or favorite tv star -- >> [ laughter ] >> or, a movie star who used to be an every day, reasonable citizen, but now the words emails in all caps about election conspiracies, and q- anon conspiracies, and what 5g is really going to be used for, and what is going on in the basement of hillary's pizza parlor. how the reptilian shadow government is threatening to turn everyone gay by putting fluoride in the budweiser. a popular political book once asked, what is the matter with kansas? today, we have to ask, what is the matter with grandma? we have watched too many friends disappear into this weird blackhole. many are married to supreme court justices. >> [ cheers and applause ] >> two days after the 2020 election, clarence thomas' wife, jenny, who met clarence back in the 1980s when they did porn together -- >> [ cheers and applause ] >> she forwarded texts to the chief of staff of the president of the united states, saying that she heard the biden crime family and ballot fraud co- conspirators were going to be taken to barges off of guantanamo bay to face military tribunal is him. and then she wrote, "i hope this is true." yes, and i hope you get checked for lead poisoning. >> [ applause ] >> then, there is america's karen. , wife of justice samuel alito, who holds a masters degree in for library science, but has donated her life to waging war against neighborhood lawn signs. martha ann rants about getting even with the media, not realizing that now, kooks like her are the media. >> [ applause ] >> a recent study found that a mere 2100 people accounted for spreading 81% of the fake news on twitter during the last election, and most of them were older white republican women. we have met the russian troll bot army and it is your aunt bonnie. >> [ applause ] >> that's who it is. those who post all day, and it is always a retweet, and it is always wrong. they watch lies on tv and believe it because it is tv, and then they posted to their friends who believe it because it is facebook. and it is not just facebook, x, formally known as twitter, and fox news, formerly known as news. >> [ applause ] >> a study once found that using the fox news website as a news source made you less informed than watching no news at all. it is the ozempic of knowing things. >> [ applause ] >> and still, not as bad as the news finds me people. that is the growing cohort of americans that believe if the story is important enough, it will find its way to their social media feed. yeah, these are people who trust their facebook friends to watch hannity for them. but, here is the thing. with kids, when they get lost to the insanity of social media, we can, and increasingly, school districts are doing this, taking away their phones, for at least part of the day. but, you can't take away a 70- year-old stone. you can just make the texts smaller. so -- >> [ applause ] >> so, we have to figure out why so many seniors are so susceptible to fake news. part of it is, unlike the kids, they didn't grow up with bullshit media, the corporate- funded, narrative driven, and completely partisan. so, when that came along, they had no immunity for it. boomers, we grew up with old- school time magazine, and walter cronkite. the closest thing to fake news back then was pretending liberace was looking for a woman. >> [ applause ] >> [ laughter ] >> the boomer generation never developed the antibodies for click delete. they turned on the tv one day, lawrence welk was gone, and in his place was some guy named lou dobbs, who is telling you the reason you had a good weekend was donald trump. >> have a great weekend! the president makes such a thing possible for us, all. >> [ laughter ] >> how does this happen? well, part of it, the left has to own. the president with an anti- commonsense agenda, on the left is a powerful magnet pushing people to the right. but also, old people are just cranky, which fits very well with the hating menu prepared at fox and facebook. and there is one other reason, because this is america, where we abandon our elderly to nursing homes, because just leaving them in the forest is illegal. >> [ audience reacts ] >> so, we can't be too surprised when they turn to the fox news family as a replacement for their own. we warehouse them in homes, gouge them on their medications, target them with phone and internet scams, and force them to work past retirement age. >> [ audience reacts ] >> we treat all people like children, and children like sages. no nation disrespects the elderly like america does. makes them feel invisible, barely tolerated, and underappreciated for the wisdom they could offer. and maybe that is what drives so many to be hateful toward anything coming from young people, who have not been particularly nice to them. maybe the generation gap can be bridged, but that would be a good place to start. that is our show. i will be with david copperfield this weekend in vegas at the mgm. and on august 26th, toyota field. thank you, to andrew cuomo, adam kinzinger, and jiminy glick. all right, go watch your show on youtube! thank you very much. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪