president of the united states, she says she is still waiting to hear, still waiting for answers, waiting for a call. congress held hearings today. we'll talk about that. but first, my conversation with sean smith's mom, pat. pat, i appreciate you being with us, and i'm just so sorry for your loss, what do you want people to know about your son, about sean? >> well, god, he was my only child. and he was good. he was good at what he did. and he loved it. >> he loved working with computers? >> computers, radios, he was good at what he did. >> was that something he had done as a kid? i mean, did he always -- was he always good with computers? >> well, when he was a kid, computers were not out yet. and -- then, they were out, and he -- i got a computer and he started to play with them. and he started showing me how you could build a flame-thrower. and just by watching the computer. and it told you how to do it. so that is how it started. >> he lived in the netherlands. were you able to communicate a lot? he served in a lot of very dangerous places. did he always know where he was? >> i always knew where he was when he told me. for example, this time he was in the hague, and that is where he was stationed. he was supposed to be there for about two years, and then he would transfer to someplace else. i did not know he was going to be in libya. >> did he ever talk about the dangers that came along with his job? i mean, he served in iraq, as well. >> yes, in fact, he sent me -- i still have it. on my computer where he sent me this thing, he was working in the palace over there. >> in baghdad? >> yeah, in baghdad. and he says got to go. and suddenly, he just disappeared. and i said what is happening over there? he says listen, and i was listening, and suddenly i heard boom, where they were shooting at him. >> you must have worried a lot. >> and then when it was over -- >> i can't spend my life worrying about it. i accepted what he wanted to do. >> i want to play for our viewers some of what president obama said about your son hadwh he returned home. let's watch. >> sean smith, it seemed, lived to serve. first in the air force, then with you at the state department. he knew the perils of this calling from his time in baghdad. and there in benghazi, from his time at home, he surely thought of samantha and nate, and he laid down his life in service to us all. today, sean is home. >> he is mentioning his wife and his children. when you heard the president say that, what did you think? >> this is the first time i heard the president say that. >> it is, really? >> yes, he never -- didn't tell me that. sean knew he was in a bunch of scary places. i knew he was in scary places. i didn't expect him to get blown up. i didn't expect him to -- to die. >> do you feel that you know what happened? or are you still searching for answers? have you been in contact with the state department? have they reached out and given you details of what happened? >> that is a funny subject. i begged them to tell me what was going -- what happened. i said i want to know all the details, all the details, no matter what it is, and i'll make up my own mind on it. and every one of them, the big shots over there told me that -- they promised me, they promised me that they would tell me what happened, as soon as they figured it out. no one, not one person has ever gotten back to me, other than media people and the gaming people. >> her son was a big video gamer. we're going to have more on my conversation with pat smith after a quick break. she has some very tough words for this administration who she says has forgotten the promises they made to her, the day sean's body was returned. also tonight, the latest on today's congressional hearings on the attacks. . imimagaginine e ifif y yod alalwawaysys s seeee l e [m[mususicic]] inin t thehe b besest t lil. eveverery y titimeme o of f. ououtdtdoooorsrs, , oro. trtranansisititiononss® ls auautotomamatiticacalllly y fift ththe e ririghght t amamouountn. soso y youou s seeee e eveg ththe e waway y itit is memeanant t toto b be e ses. mamaybybe e evevenen a lilittttlele b betette. exexpeperirienencece l lifife e, asask k fofor r trtrananss adadapaptitiveve l lene. [ female announcer ] he could be the one. soulmate. husband. loving father to your children. but first you've got to get him to say, "hello." new crest 3d white arctic fsh toothpaste. use it with these 3d white products, and whiten your teeth in just 2 days. what will a 3d white smile do for you? new crest 3d white toothpaste. life opens up when you do. we're talking tonight with pat smith, whose son, sean smith, was killed in the libya terror attack. glenn doherty was also killed. his mother said, i don't trust romney, she shouldn't make my son's death part of his agenda. pat smith didn't speak about anybody's agenda tonight, but she is bitterly disappoint weekend the defense department, the state department. you will hear shortly how the state department will respond to her charges. but first, my conversation with pat smith, who is still searching for answers. who told you that they would give you information? >> well, you will love this. obama told me, hillary promised me, joe biden, joe biden was a treasure, he was a real sweetheart. but he also told me -- they all told me -- they promised me. i told them, please, tell me what happened. just tell me what happened. >> so you're still waiting to hear from somebody about what happened to your son, about what they know? or even what they don't know? >> right, yes, officially, yes, i told them please, don't give me any baloney that comes through with this political stuff. i don't want political stuff. you can keep your political, just tell me the truth. what happened? and i still don't know. in fact, today i just heard something more that -- that he died of smoke inhalation. >> you so you -- so you don't even know -- >> i don't know if that is true or not. no, i don't. i don't -- i look at tv and i see bloody handprints on walls, thinking my god, is that my son's? i don't know if he was shot, i don't know, i don't know, they haven't told me anything. they're still studying it. and the things that they are telling me are just outright lies. that susan rice, what -- she talked to me personally and she says this is the way it was. it was -- it was because he does film that came -- because of this film that came out. >> so she told you personally she thought it was as a result of that video protest? >> oh, absolutely, absolutely, in fact all of them did. all of them did. leon panetta actually took -- my face in his hands like this, and he says trust me. i will tell you what happened. and so far, he has told me nothing. nothing at all. and -- i want to know. >> it is important for you to know all the details, no matter how horrible or how tough they are to hear? >> exactly, i told them if it is such a secret thing, fine, take me in another room, whisper in my ear what happened so i'll know, and then we'll go from there. but no, they treat me like -- at first, i was so proud because they were treating me so nice when i went to that reception. they all came up to me and talked to me and everything. i cried on obama's shoulder. and then he kind of looked off into the distance. so that was worthless, to me. i want to know, for god sakes. or for allah's sake, or for whoever's sake is there. >> you deserve answers? >> i think so i believe i do. i believe it. it is my son. i had him for the -- i told obama personally, i said look, i had him for his first 17 years. and then he went into the service. then you got him. and -- i wouldn't say it the way i said it, but i said you screwed up, you didn't do a good job. i lost my son. and they said, we'll get back to you, we will, i promise, i promise you. i will get back to you. >> somebody in the administration would have said well, you know, we're investigating, we're still trying to find out answers? >> they still are. >> you would stil want them to contact you and at least keep you informed of the investigation, of where things are. you would think that they would at least do that? >> that would be so nice. that would be so nice. they would at least acknowledge that i have the right to know something, something, other than oh, we're checking up on it. or trust me. i like that one the best of all. trust me. i will let you know. well, i don't trust you anymore. i don't trust you anymore. you -- i'm not going to say lied to me. but you didn't tell me. and you knew. >> pat smith, thank you. >> okay. a grieving mother, we're joined by two women who broke the story right away. former correspondent jill dougherty. we should mention that fran serves on the advisory committee, and roeptly traveled to libya with her employer, and actually met with ambassador stevens. obviously, mrs. smith is very upset. and you know it is very understandable why she would be. what is the procedure, though, for keeping the family informed? she says they said well, we'll let you know what happened. do they wait until the investigation is over, you would think somebody would be in contact with her? >> right, there is actually an office in the justice department, because this is now a criminal investigation that is responsible. the victim witness assistance. they are supposed to be the advocates inside the u.s. apparatus, the government, to make sure that the families are kept apprised. but you also expect, any department has this, if an employee is lost, a member of our intelligence services, that agency takes ownership of making sure to sepherd the person through the system and around the system to get information. so in many respects, anderson, it is sort of incomprehendible to me, the family members were identified, met with senior officials of the united states, and the secretary of state. it is not as if they don't know where she is. >> initially i thought, maybe they were in contact with sean smith's wife, who i guess was in the netherlands. but she was at this reception, they clearly talked to mayher. >> and that is right, anderson, oftentimes, there is more than one person, so you have the parents of the victim. you may have the spouse or an extended family. and it becomes the government's responsibility to take care of that family and keep them informed. >> well, jill, i know you had reached out. what are they saying? >> well, essentially they say since the beginning they have made it a priority to be in touch with the families, maintain regular contact, as they say. they say in the last 24 hours before the congressional hearing, they reached out by phone to at least one member of the family and told them what would be reported at that congressional hearing. and then they also said we're going to make sure that the mother of sean is contted by us. so they won't get into a lot of specifics, but they maintain that they have been in contact with the families in some way or another since the beginning. >> so you're saying -- they are now saying they will contact -- mrs. smith. >> yes, they say they will make sure that they are. >> at this point, the family member, who are they supposed to believe? i mean, there have been so many different stories out there, fran, and so many different -- now there is lots of political allegations. we had this hearing today. and some saw it as a political hearing, the politics motivating it. what do you -- >> look, this is really hard. in the first 48-72 hours, the first facts are often wrong. so i think the media, the american people really understand that and sort of allow for that. the problem is, tomorrow is a month since the attack. it's hard to imagine that no one has talked to this woman. the autopsy, which was done at dover air force base, with family members present, the results of that are understood by investigators. and there is no excuse for not sharing that information with this victim's mother. >> right, jill, let's talk about the hearing that happened today, which the state department defended the administration's handling the attk, you say it is highly political. did it accomplish anything? >> anderson, you know, i didn't hear anything -- a lot of new information. i think i and some others who were watching it at the time were really struck by the fact that it reallyurned into this sparring. and it was very, very personal, between, you know, the republicans and the democrats. and so i don't think that it accomplished very much when you get down to the nuts and bolts of what was learned. >> one of the most contentious moments, i don't have the exact phrasing, but basically the number of people on the ground. there was a sharp rebuke from the panel, who said how can you say that given that four americans were dead? >> right, that is the essential thing, given -- i'm not trying to explain away what the state department is saying, but they're saying based on the information that they had at that particular point, which was coming from intelligence agencies and others on the ground, they believe that they had the adequate amount of staffing. now, they also say that that event was so extraordinary that basically nothing, a few more people, a few more let's say protective measures could not have protected from- something that they're describing really as combat military combat attack. >> there is an investigation under way. i mean, at this point, fran, who is responsible for giving the definite account of what cables were sent and doing this investigation? >> well, as we have said and reported, anderson, there is an capability review board there, these congressional hearings, in the end, the definitive version of the facts will come from the fbi who are responsible for the investigation in a potential prosecution. they will be to keh keepers of evidence. but i must tell you, the evidence we had on its face, honestly if you step back from the partisan politics of washington and you talk to average americans who have got no dog in this fight, they sort of say look, it is obvious we didn't have adequate security. if we're looking to assign blame, the terrorists are responsible for the deaths. but if we need capability, we want to make sure -- the state department are working in dangerous places. how do we work with threats, assign responsibility -- >> the state department said, no amount of the usual security would have been able to deal with dozens of attackers, there were dozens of attackers who were heavily armed. you say. >> i say we have forwarding bases in iraq and afghanistan during the iraq and the afghanistan war, and he protected them. >> there was not the substantial amount in terms -- >> if you're at a facility that you can't protect, that it is not possible to protect from the threat that is present, then you shouldn't be there. if you are there and you believe you can protect it you have to give adequate resources. this is less about blame than it is capability, what we ought to care about is capability for other diplomats. >> what we are concerned about, the lives, the bottom line here and also getting answers for the families. jill dougherty, appreciate your reporting. follow me at anderson cooper. i'm tweeting about this right now. just ahead, mitt romney seems to move to the middle on abortion, then moves right back. it is not the first time he had the question, tonight, what does he believe? and is it a make, what he said yesterday? we'll show you all sides. wel be right back. i'm an expert on softball. and tea parties. i'll have more awkward conversations than i'm equipped for because i'm raising two girls on my own. i'll worry about the economy more than a few times before they're grown. but it's for them, so i've found a way. who matters most to you says the most about you. massmutual is owned by our policyholders so they matter most to us. massmutual. we'll help you get there. anne's tablet called my phone. anne's tablet was chatting with a tablet in sydney... a desktop in zurich... and a telepresence room in brazil. the secure cloud helped us get some numbers from my assistant's pc in new york. and before i reached the top, the board meeting became a congrats we sold the company party. wait til my wife's phone hears about this. [ cellphone vibrating ] [ female announcer ] with cisco at the center, working together has never worked so well. throughout our lives. one a day women's 50+ is a complete multivitan designed for women's health concerns as we age. it has more of 7 antioxidants to support cell health. one a day 50+. well, the man behind that video that set off protests in egypt and elsewhere was in federal court today. we'll tell you why, when "360" continues. and those dealing witf don't have access to the professional help they need. when you see these issues, do you want to walk away or step up? with a degree in the field of counseling or psychology from capella university, you'll have the knowledge to make a difference in the lives of others. let's get started at capella.edu and another keeping you honest report, look what mitt romney says about abortion, not what he says over time, but his statements has some presence, the record as an elected official, and how it comes togeth together. right now mr. romney needs swing voters, especially women. which may explain why in the debate in denver he seemed to sound more moderate on a range of issues. just yesterday, comments he made about abortion were picked up by democrats, on the center position. listen to this from the reporter at the des moines register. >> do you intend to pursue any legislation, specifically regarding abortion? >> there is no legislation with regards to abortion that i'm familiar with, that would become part of my agenda. >> so right after he said that, however, his spokesperson said this to "the national review," governor romney would support legislation aimed at protecting life. and later, he gave a specific example of what he would do as president. >> i think i said time and again i'm a pro life candidate and will be a pro life president. the actions i'll take immediately are to remove funding for planned parenthood, and that will not be part of my budget. >> that is consistent with his position throughout these primaries. in the past, romney says he supports extending 14th amendment protection to women, and believes that abortion laws should be overturned and returned to the states. so keep in mind, was his comment to the des moines an attempt to taylor his message to voters there, or simply a mistake? romney's views have is changed over time, seems to coincide with where and when he is running for office. in 1994 he was running for senate against ted kennedy, and said this. >> i believe that abortion should be not allowed, i believe that since roev wade has been the law for 20 years, we should sustain and support it. and i sustain and support the right of a woman to make that choice. >> he lost that election, later he said this. >> so when asked if i will preserve and protect a woman's right to choose, i make the answer yes. >> in fact he promised during the debate not to make any changes which would make that more difficult for a woman to make that choice herself, once elected, he changed the choice, two years later he was running for president on a strong pro life platform. now one opponent, fred thompson, actually used that clip against him in an ad. i asked him about it that i don't know how many times i could tell it, i was wrong. all right, i was effectively pro choice when i ran for office. if people in this country are looking for somebody who has never made a mistake on a policy issue, and will never admit they were wrong, then they have to find another choice. i was wrong, as governor, this didn't just happen the last time, this happened the first time when this bill came to my desk related to life, i couldn't sign a bi