do surgery. the first time that happened i was on my tour bus almost done with tour. they're like you need to sit because we're about to tell you something that sucks. i was like what -- there's got to be another way. what do we do? i didn't lip sing. i didn't have anyway to finish the tour. we had to cancel and disappointed so many people. to this day, i'll have people come up to me and say, oh my god, i was supposed to see you at that show and you didn't make it. i'm like i'm so sorry. i still get people upset about it. so that was devastating and it was the first time i really upset people and then when it happened again after i got my vocal surgery, it was just after a bunch of work, just nonstop and then i went to a different doctor and got surgery, which was very tough for me because it was like the year after i won my grammy and it was on the grammy day. there's -- >> the anniversary. >> yeah. it was the only day she had