>> it has not been shared. and sarah, i just wonder about your emotional stage. you were posting on facebook some of the poignant and beautiful sentiments to philip. are you still doing that? how -- what is your coping mechanism as you go through? >> i still write to philip every day. i don't actually post all of them. partly because i'm just frankly so swamped from a scheduling perspective. i'm continuing to work fulltime as a teacher and then have all of these activities. so you know, four or five hours of sleep a night is about all i'm getting. but you know, emotions are a powerful thing, they can crush us if we let them but they can also give us a sense of power if we let them, as well. so i think the general consensus from most of the families is we've gotten angry now, we feel we have been lied to. and the anger is allowing us to