listen to this -- you have to. my grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. she's 97 today. we don't know where the hell she is. >> in the '90s club hey day, the clubs were so crowded because everybody in the world thought i'm going to move to california or new york, i'm going to do three funny minutes and then get my own sitcom like jerry seinfeld. that was the downside of that era. they didn't really have room for me or the likes of me. >> who could start off the next category other than -- yes, you know it -- miss kathy griffin? [ applause ] >> i'm going to tell a story that i told once before, only once before. it is not the [ bleep ] a midget. sorry -- that's another party. >> these are people that didn't