have you ever noticed when you're driving that anyone who's driving slower than you is an idiot? [ laughter, applause ] niac! >> first, a philosophical question. have you ever noticed when you are driving, anyone who is driving slower than you is an idiot ? and any one driving faster than you is a maniac! >> you see 1 million things a day in your life, and they all go on the back burner of your six burner wolf, ridiculously priced mind. a comedian comes out and brings it to the front burner. >> i don't like other people's showers. there is always a problem with temperature adjustment and a little hair stuck on the wall. you want to get rid of it, but you don't want to touch it. i do not know how i got up that high in the first place. >> real life is funny because it is relatable, period.