there's just no way -- other place go. >> reporter: after more than 16 hours of deliberations, maddy says she struggled with the proof to convict. >> how did you go from in nine hours from feeling he was guilty of second-degree murder to not guilty? >> it was hard. a lot of us wanted to find something bad, something that we could connect to the law. >> reporter: maddy concedes she still struggles with the verdict and public outcry that followed. >> i fell on my mes and my husband was hold me and i was screaming and crying. i kept saying to myself i feel that i killed him. >> what would you like to say to trayvon's parents? >> i would like to apologize because i feel like i let them down. >> trayvon martin's mother was crushed by the juror's confession and said this. it is devastating for my family