pantry on a little stool just in there by myself. because i refused to look at him that way. >> my mom couldn't have a conversation even though she still knew me. so we would sit on the couch and watch tv. and i would sit with her feet in my lap and pray. i would just pray for grace. >> but i think that's just part of my defense mechanism. i do not want to see him being an invalid. i don't want to see him degenerating, you know? i don't want to see glenn in that condition, you know? i think -- i think it's better to die from something else. >> my mother is young enough, she's in her 60s now, but she's young enough that we don't have any signs of that yet, thank god. it's a very good chance and then i'm probably next. so it's -- it's like let's figure this out, can you? i'm 41. figure this out before i'm 70,