at a jehovah's witness meeting hall was a former member of the religious group who left on bad terms. you're watching bbc news. now it's time for bbc 100 women in conversation: selma blair. selma blair made her name in cult classics of the �*90s and 200s, like cruel intentions and legally blonde. although she once described himself as not being a world—famous bombshell, she has amassed millions of fans. in 2018, she announced she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. her honesty on the subject has made her an inspiration for people with disabilities and with chronic conditions. in conversation with bbc 100 women, selma blair talks about her diagnosis, inclusivity in hollywood and beyond and the progress that women have made. thank you so much for taking the time to speak with us on 100 women. how are you feeling today? thank you for asking, and it's lovely to be here and i feel really well because i am at home and i have my dog. you are lovely. my son is in the other room, eating honey. my life is good. to those who do not know the background of your story, you were diagnosed with ms four years ago. yes, 2018, i was diagnosed with ms and i chose a few months later to say it publicly on an instagram post not realising that it would be, it would mean so much to people. i was really thanking my wardrobe stylist on a show that i was on and kind of struggling to get dressed and by the time, my coordination was a lot worse as the flare was really aggressive. so i came out to thank the women that were really dressing me, supporting me and keeping it quiet for me and that is the catalyst of me say something and then it became a much bigger awareness that was really beautiful. just to take you back, because it was a long time coming that diagnosis, wasn't it? i had really felt sick since i was seven, and i had optic neuritis as a young child, which is a clear markerfor ms but itjust turned into a lazy eye for me. and somehow it was just overlooked. and i had constant fatigue since easily 12 years old that i would just say, even at that age, maybe it's candida overgrowth. anything i could find in books that could contribute to the sluggishness, i was always searching and i was really miserable and i had a facial pain, which i actually have right now, i am in a flare of that. but when i had my son, when i give birth to my son arthur in 2011, that was the real, that's when the horror of not being able to move without extreme discomfort and stiffness became a part of my life and that was really ageing and everything fell apart in those years thinking it was just a severe thing i cannot get over, self—medicating, just a real roller—coaster in the spiral of being down on myself and keeping it secret that i felt like such an unaccomplished new mother and i was being very secretive about it because i was ashamed and concerned i would not work again. and when the diagnosis came, it really took the lid off a lot for me and unburdened me. is it true that somewhere along the line, a doctor said to you that it's psychosomatic and you would feel better if you got a boyfriend? i cannot say how many times my fatigue and my speech disturbances, even in my 20s, the speech would come out when i developed tics from some flares and things, that would say, "ok, what kind of trauma have you had? we do think this is psychosomatic." but without any real neurological tests. it was just talking to me. and taking case history, so i did just believe that. iwas like, "wow, i'm really depressive, i cannot get to the bottom of how to ignite some life force in me." and i took it. ever since i was 12 i was told that it was just depression. how did you feel when you finally got the diagnosis and the doctor said to you the you have ms/ how did that feel? when the doctor told me the night of the mri that i had ms, i cried, that it had a name, and it was an amazing, comforting feeling, even though i don't wish disease on anyone, but it was a huge, comforting feeling to know there's a whole community of chronic illness, or ms patients. and so, i always felt 0k. i did not feel like this was the end of the world for me. i felt like it was the beginning for me of understanding and there would be some healing coming soon. you mentioned you were public about it and working with people and you wanted to thank them for your help. was there a time where you needed that to be private and that you needed to get your own head around it before you took that step? or was it all a natural process? i thought when i had the diagnosis of ms, and the doctor, well meaning that he was to protect me, because he knew that when people say they are unwell that there is a stigma with work and so, my doctor that diagnosed me said, "i would not tell people at work, i would not tell people because you really could get better, the most the damages, you can get better and you don't need that hanging over you and people talking about you." and i thought, "hell, people have talked about me all the time and sometimes i've unfortunately give them things to talk about." and so i said, "ok." i did not feel an overwhelming need to share, i just wanted to start feeling better, but when i didn't feel better and i saw how much people were helping me, that has always been the catalyst for me to move. just to acknowledge what is happening once i'm in a safer zone of having these women as allies, as the wardrobe department, i never asked for help or needed help on the set and so this was monumentalfor me. to see how much the producer, she said, "everyone has something. it's ok. we will stand by you." they made sure there was a golf cart on set, or air—conditioner, or heating, when i was shaking, just to help with some of my sensitivities, or somewhere to lie down. it was incredible. and for some of those people, you've become an inspiration and a role model and that's wonderful in lots of ways. is there any pressure that is associated with that? it is to be a role model in some ways, or an inspiration. i mean, that's a lovely thing. i was on this big show, dancing with the stars, recently and that was my first foray back into public life as not just talking about ms or my book or my past, just doing something because i wanted to move the needle for me. and because i'm a performer, or was, and it is true that it might be harderfor me and it is true that i might have to bail out, but i deserve the chance to try, too, and that was important for me to show ok, if i have this momentum right now to do this and i have a professional wanting to teach me, what can i discover? i have not tried to move on my own. and i have a dog as a partner who can help me with a lot of counterbalance, i have my son, i have a cane, i have a bike if i want to take a long walk. i have all these little aids to help with my balance issues, and now it's going to try an actual human for the first time. to really move as a partner, and i was so proud of what dancing with the stars did, by having someone like me on the show, but i did have to bail out. because there are consequences, and i did not want them, i wanted to be in the finals, i wanted to be saying, "i can do it all, i'm not going to be someone that they can put in five hours of rehearsal every day." so, those real things and i was proud that i could to show that too and that people were kind to celebrate that. it was like, i do not deserve to be on anyone�*s shoulders for this," but that was also very lovely. like, "why not? we're beaten down all the time? why not have a girl?" you make it sound like a tough time, but you had amazingly positive experiences in the workplace, and the entertainment industry. how would you describe hollywood and the entertainment industry relationship with people who have challenges like the one you are experiencing? hollywood is so visible. those industries all over the world that are bigger than hollywood because it is an industry by visibility because it's media and entertainment and we put out in the world, it is a real mirror and it has risen to a lot of the challenges and seeing shows that future people with disabilities and having it be such an impressive, remarkable appearance in our brains and entertainment to have break—out and blew the doors off my own thinking about more radical disabilities that i had not experienced that i was actually always kind of, i averted my gaze subconsciously. my whole life because you do not want to think of no one that is not afforded the same privileges will stop you treading water yourself in your life even if though i thought of myself as non—disabled and to know that there are so many incredible stories and things that need to catch up in the present, the conversation is absolutely happening. but yes, it is a process and it's going to take a future generation to really take hold of what we are planting now for people to just turn on the tv and see people like them, and it is a wonderful moment. coda, when they won the oscar for best picture last year. and this film could not have done that years ago. you think things are improving and moving of the right direction? i do. and i do say of course, we have to do more. my biggest goalfor this year is to learn sign language and i was saying this, but my own speech was happening, you don't know until you know how much more you can do and i wanted to be an ally for people in this community and how much that helps me know much from people that have wheeled this road before me. i would know who to turn to and it is set up now, it's starting to be set up for support but yeah, i do, i love that hollywood is listening because we are so... there's a big responsibility to make iconic images for those with disabilities. there is an audience and our abilities are fleeting and we're lucky enough to age in our abilities, take a turn. and this is something that will affect us all, but it does remind me of what women have had to go through always. and marginalised communities. we have to do a little more to get seen, had to be a little friendlier to not turn people off as you're trying to engage and there's so many ways they have to dress yourself up to make things palatable for people and so, i'm really happy to be just a visible ally or some people might see me as someone with a disability and some people might not and that's not for me to judge, that's for whoever wants whatever encouragement i may offer. what impact do you think this has had on your career? i know my ms took my own career down and i had to stop working. for years, even before i had my son because i was not well, and i blamed myself, god, like, can i not wake up and stop being fatigued or crying and why�*s my leg giving out my back hurts, and it's hard to sit and it affected me before i knew what it was, a disability was affecting me and taking out of the workforce and create huge changes in my appearance. and when i talked about it, there was so much support and i never got a job again. i'm not bitter about that, i don't know how long is it i'm going to be in a subtle day and dipping my toe in with the production and dancing with the stars and let's check my stamina, and i do want to go back to work. and i do hope that my own knowledge can be a strength for me because the people who are working with me want it to be easy for them. in creating agency within myself with knowing that i can have disappointment working along the day when they can have with nutrition, whatever it is, we have to come with our arsenal to help us fit into the non—disabled world and that is still a process for me. let's talk about your memoir and again, you mention briefly there that dependency on alcohol at a very early age and tell us about why that's sculpted your life, really involves a difficult decision for you to be open, yet so much that you can read about that i can imagine you can pick and choose. i know i always wanted to be a writer. i loved reading, and reading saved me and is also one of the main things of having a drink. it's really too young to read that book and interpreted as a saviour and especially someone who is looking for it and i wanted to write a book for the little selma out there that's afraid and did not know how many allies could be out there, the people felt broken like me are undervalued themselves. and probably had real self—loathing issues that i would've been able to temper a lot if i knew other people had it. that i wasn't the only one who felt undeserving, unloved, messy, stupid. i mean, ijust felt all of those things because i could not stay awake. because i believed in that i'm sick, that she's making this up and started the cycle of self—loathing and an acceptance that you're trying to get attention. i'm just trying to talk to you, i'm a little kid. let's take away the stigma of saying, you have to see a final time because saying that you're lying is what made me drink in the bathroom at the age of nine until i pass out because i did not feel fine. it was helpful for me to talk about this in the book because we all should for a minute. we all should have that ritual of where we include ourselves and our histories and our conversations about how we see things and that is what therapy does for people and never really worked for me, this doesn't resonate as i think i'm reaching other people that might need it and if there's any comfort or conversation that people can start having with each other the great shames of their life that they feel they got themselves into an app to keep to themselves, then that shame can create unhealthy habits and that's the least i could do. and now talking about the "me too" movement, of which you played role. of which you played a role. people talk about things that kept secret for many years and coming together at a thousand major moment for the incredible thing about me too. that is not what i got out of it, it did not increase my hate or my distrust of men, it increased my trust in the women that were looking for empathy and looking to be unburdened. i would never feel stronger than when i have women supporting me. i would love to have moremen allies in my life. let's face it, the men seem to be the ones who have had the power for a long time and things are built on this patriarchy and i had someone in the beginning of my career who did trap me and insult me and sexually molest me in a hotel room and my own self—loathing for his deeds was tremendous that even let it happen, that he kept it in and that i was afraid of it and i wondered and i share things and this man taught me that he did this to you and that you liked it and then he had me stay in the room and used you as a point of strength for him to do these things and oh my god, i did not want anyone to know her people to think i was weak i am. i was weak, i did not know and i wanted it to be over when i wrote me too with his name, i couldn't believe how many people contacted me and the support system we build upon the scene we formed a group that really supported each other and the two of my story to vanity fair and i would not have felt comfortable saying it unless there was a bigger star is much more loved and trusted to me and she had heard that i needed to talk and she supported me and told her own version of the story that might not have been this flag. i would love and respect, and eternal thanks for that strength that allowed me the comfort to tell my story. the slow progress, and given everything that we had spoken about, this is the tenth year of bbc 100 women and the theme is progress. and yet, we are talking about a year where here in america, there has been many more female leaders, but also it is the year that roe v wade in the constitutional right to abortion was overturned. as a final thought, what you think about progress as we sit here today? from where i sit, progress has been made in so many ways. i am a woman that has had a hard past, that can be judged for a lot of things and have had my power dismantled easily. but it's through the support of other women that i am here with you and i am someone that does have a makeup line, an alternative beauty tool that was started by a woman with parkinson's before me that ijoined onto and a woman with ms, which is a really a woman's disease for the most part. and i have been afforded a lot of the strengths of what it's been happening with the women and i was shocked when roe v wade overturned. i thought there were many more safeguards that maybe we had put in place that the supreme court has put in place to protect women. i was shocked to find it was not the case. it is very frightening that this can be undone in our bodies, that some of the people feel the need to control our decisions in the name of the sake of the children when we know it's not really the truth of what's happening, but that's a bigger thing. i do think that we cannot let the progress that we are making in that, we need to be hopeful and we need to know that we are strong and real at the stand up and we will have to get our votes in with the standup and be visible and that we will not be silenced with our own bodies. we cannot be. this is a lot at stake, but i am heartened by the progress in the women that now know that we will stand up for each other if you are looking. hello. milderairand a thaw is on the way for tomorrow. but for today — well, later on we could see some snow again. parts of northern england into scotland, more especially on the hills, the chance of some disruption again, nowhere near as much as we saw through recent nights, but up to ten centimetres — lower ground, more hit and miss. and it's all because this weather front is going to be pushing into the colder air that we have at the moment. the front�*s already been producing rain or drizzle across parts of south—west england, south wales, increasingly so in northern ireland, too. a little bit of sleet and snow over higher ground before that turns back to rain and into the afternoon parts of north west england, the midlands towards central southern england, even the south—east could see some rain arrive. away from that, though, many other parts will be dry. just the odd snow flurry in scotland. chilly day for most — 11, 12 degrees across the south—west and into the channel islands. now, through this evening and overnight as that rain pushes away northwards, turns easily to snow, as i said, across the hills of northern england and scotland, even to lower levels before turning back to rain later on. and what we'll see later in the night are temperatures actually rising rather than falling. this is how it looks as we start sunday morning. so a much milder start to sunday compared with this morning. the weather front still producing some rain, sleet and snow in the north—east of scotland to begin with. and ahead of the next one, we're into a quieter spell for a while, but then those south to south—westerly winds pick up and the milder air really does start to work its way in. so some of the driest conditions will be during the morning for many. but northern ireland and scotland quickly seeing outbreaks of rain develop more widely as we go through the day. some rain into the north—west of england, wales and the south—west later on, good part of central eastern england staying dry and sunday, some sunny spells, often large amounts of cloud into the afternoon, the breeze a south to south—westerly one. and look at the temperatures to finish sunday, maybe up to 13, 1a degrees. the thaw setting in, a risk of some minorflooding, too, especially when we see more wet and increasingly windy weather spread its way in through sunday night and into monday. so, for monday, whilst we could still see some snow on the higher ground of northern scotland, for most outbreaks of rain coming and going through the day, some heavy thundery showers in the south—west. winds will be touching gale force if not more. 60 mile an hour winds across the north of scotland, same too towards the south. it will be a pretty windy day for all on monday, but across southern areas, a pretty mild one. a chilly one, though, in the far north of scotland. see you again soon. this is bbc news broadcasting to viewers in the uk and around the world. i'm lucy grey and these are the latest headlines. the bbc�*s football programmes are in disarray as on—air staff from various shows pull out of saturday's broadcasts in support of presenter gary lineker who was told to �*step back�* after criticising the uk government's asylum bill. the corporation's director general insists the decision is to uphold impartiality rules but the opposition labour party accuses bosses of bowing to government pressure. as editor—in—chief of the bbc i think one of our founding principles is impartiality and that's what we're delivering on. thank and that's what we're delivering on. you very much the bbc is not acting impartially by caving in to tory mps who are complaining about gary lineker. they have got this one badly wrong and