Getting paired in a vacuum. We have families, home towns, ethnic and religious backgrounds, weekly wages and levels of education that all push a little like hands on an ouija board towards making a conclusion for ourselves. Striking numbers of children are born to single women. Couples are building longterm relationships, sharing property, retirement savings, while never planning to marry. The number of adults who have never married is steadily rising as are the divorce rates for people over 50. During the rise of nofault divorce commentators lamented the number of failing marriages. Will we now turn our attention to those who have decided to do without marriage all together . It may strike you as surprising, but moments like these captured in photographs of a happy young couple starting out on a new life together as husband and wife are becoming less common. Nowadays the face of marriage, who does it, at what age they choose to do it, with whom and why is a much more complex puzzle than it was even a few years ago. The Pew Research Centers soldier and demographics trends groups crack only census tate da and their own survey to put marriage in a 21st century context. Few found the share of americans who never have been married reached an alltime high in 2012. One in five adults aged 25 and older have never been married. About 42 Million People according to pew. Thats 23 of men, 17 of women. In 1960 only 9 of adults in that age range had never been married. Shifting with the changing times are americans attitudes towards marriage. The pew survey asked in your view is society off if people make marriage and children a priority or is society just as well off if people have priorities other than marriage and children. 46 said better off. 50 said just as well off. Young people aged 18 to 29 are driving that change with 67 agreeing society is just as well off. That reflects the life choices theyre making these days. Young americans are getting married later, putting it off until they earn a College Diploma or advance degree and a well paying job, and wouldbe husbands and wouldbe wives are taking longer to find that special someone because increasingly the unmarried are seeking a made who is steadily employed. The recession has reduced the marriaging age of adults with jobs it concludes that this year is not the year to take your vows. Marriage, not when but if this time on the program. Weve just emerged from years in which the contours of marriage in america were hotly debated because a tiny minority of americans, gay people, wanted access to the state of matrimony. While weve been engaged in that family fight millions more people who have always been able to marry have deciding not to. Joining us for a look at 21st century matrimony. In Salt Lake City brad wilcox, director of the in fact marria national marriage. From seattle, stephanie kunz, shes director of research and education for the council on contemporary families and stephanie kunz, let me start with you. Is this a new norm or really. The age of marriage has been rising. I dont think that marriage is on its way out. Most people will marry eventually. But one of the big differences is that people are taking longer to get married, and marriage no longer organizes every life change, every transition, every decision we make. And the result is that we have to be much more open than we used to be to the idea that you just cant expect that all married people will have obligations, and unmarried people will not. Brad wilcox, if you look at whats happened over the past couple of decades have we, without really realizing it, flipped the script . When i got married during the carter administration, its shocking to say, the idea was well, of course, people dont have much when they get married. And they make this alliance voluntarily, and then start acquiring the things of life together. Now when i hear young people talking about getting married, they want to get that stuff done and see marriage as the end of that process rather than the beginning of it. We moved from a cornerstone model of married life to a capstone model where youre singling by getting married that youve arrived. Financially youve arrived. Emotionally youve arrived. And so its a very different understanding of what marriage is all about today than was the case when you got married back in the 70s. So when we look at the numbers, this is a very large cohort of of young people right now. If theyre not getting married, thats millions of couples who are not being formed, millions of households not formed in a way they might have been at another time. Exactly. Our projection shows todays young adults when they reach mid 40s and theyre going to stay married. But the chance of them getting married for the first time after 45. After average 55 it will be much smaller. Im no stat situation, but i assume if the cool of never nevermarried people is much larger, inside that pool there is a much larger number of people who will go unmarried throughout their adult life. Brad, what are the consequences of that. I think its fine for adults not to marry if kids are not in the picture. But when were bringing lots of kids in the World Without benefit of married kids. Those kids experience more family instability, a lot more single parenthood, more poverty and other deprivation that puts their future at risk. Thats the bottom line concern that i have with this decline for marriage that weve seen in the last really four or five decades now. Stephanie conntz, do we have to be careful when we talk about children born to women theyre not always single women. No, theyre often cohabiting with men. Its important to recognize in this is to a large extent a class problem. There are plenty of people who make a commitment to each other, even single older single mothers who can raise children very successfully, a womans education and jiggsal aspirations for her kids account for more than her own marital status, but what weve seen is a huge class divide emerging. When brad talks about this is a cause of poverty, its a result of more poverty and economic inequality. It used to be when you talk about the kind of wedding that you had in the 50s and 60s, people got married because two things were going on. First was a bad thing that women had no option. They couldnt get jobs. They couldnt support themselves outside of marriage. But the good thing was that even a man who had dropped out of high school, certainly a man with a High School Degree could support a family. His yearly earnings were rising by 4 a year between the ages an25 and 35 the average man saw increases in his wages. As a result people had a sense that they could get married. A woman looked around for a guy and said, you know, hes going to be able to support me. Hell probably age out of any immaturity he has because having a job and being able to look forward to it is something that matures people. Today forever high schooleducated people those things are not in the card. A woman has to weigh the possibility and increasing probability that this man will not have a job. His real wages will be falling. If he misuses his resource shell be worse off after a divorce than if she had focused on her own earning power. There is a high pay off of institutional relationship if good but a riskier institution than it used to be. Brad wilcox i want your response to the idea that family poverty is not caused by lack of marriage, but a resulting factorexcuse me. Im flippingim saying it backwards. People who dont get married dont not get married, and then as a result are poor. But in fact, dont get married because they are poor. Thats partially true. As stephanie noted what were seeing today, working class and working americans are much less likely to get played and stay married. The fact that that is the new norm for working class and poor americans only diminishes their odds of making it into middle class and more importantly it diminishes the odds of their kids making it into middle class. We saw a study from myth m. I. T. The study of families breaking down and the impact on boys and impacting their ability to flourish in school and then to flourish in the labor force. Its a vicious cycle where we see Economic Trends that make it hard for couples to get married and stay married. But the fact that theyre not getting married in the second place put their kids and especially boys disadvantaged in schools and later on in the labor force. I think you have to recognize that the family basically influences the economy, and the economy influences the family. Thats the balanced way to look at this issue. Wendy wang in the research what did young women tell researchers about their reasons for not getting married . Were they saying, when i look around i just dont see men to marry . Especially young adults we find that the financial reasons are top reasons why they say theyre not currently married. Then even though across the board we dont find the differences among peoples desire for getting married. Less educated adults as well as educated adults, they dont want to get married. There are mismatches who are around to get married . We also looked at what they were looking for in a potential spouse. Young women were much more likely to say finding someone with a steady job is important to them. But in reality we see the declining rate of the employment rate among young men. Young men with a job is actually less and less. Thats why we see potential mismatch. Well be back with more inside story after this short break. When we return i want to look at our look of socioeconomic profiles of people who are continue to go choose marriage if later in life, and then the neighborhoods where marriage seems fragile, almost counterintuitive. Stay with us. Alaska, a state that depends on its Natural Beauty we need to make sure that we have clean air some are living off natures bounty were rich cause of all the resources we have. While others say they cant even afford Health Insurance the owners of this restaurant pay an extra 5. 20 an hour to provide Health Insurance communities trying to cope i just keep putting one foot in front of the other what can people hope for come election day . An Al Jazeera America special report amererica votes 2014 5 days in alaska all this week this sunday, youve witnessed their incredible journey. Im ready to get out man. Im ready to get out of high school. The triumphs, trials and struggles. On the edge of eighteen. Dont miss the class reunion. Were the right paths chosen . It was absolutely devastating. Have family wounds begun to heal . Our relationship still is harsh. Are their dreams coming true . It wasnt my first choice, but im glad i made a choice. The edge of eighteen class reunion. Immediately after the final episode. Sunday, 10 00 eastern. Only on Al Jazeera America. Welcome back to inside story on Al Jazeera America. Im ray suarez. Since 1960 men with a High School Diploma or less have moved from the men most likely to be married to the least likely to be married. In those years wages for those lightlyeducated men first stagnated, and then dropped like a rock. Meanwhile women with High School Diplomats or less are less likely to be married than we were in 1960, but the likelihood a woman with an advance degree was never married has tumbled. As we continue our look at marriage we continue to talk about education and income, and brad wilcox, if its tougher to make a go of it, if you are low income person, how come individual men and women have not come to the conclusion that throwing in their lot with each other makes Financial Sense if not else . If were going to give an incentive to young people to marry each other rather than simply live together, it seems not to be working. Yes, i think part of the problem facing us as a country is that we do have i think Higher Expectations of what marriage can deliver today. I think many poor and working class couples feel they should be able to achieve that middle class status and have that 20,000 wedding before they get married. We should look at marriage as a way of a vehicle for establishing a life together, including a Financial Life together that is going to be better for them over the longterm, especially their kids as well. But that requires a shift in thinking about what marriage is and what marriage could be to make it more accessible as a model not just for those who are privileged and powerful, but those who are holding down workingclass jobs in america today. Wendy when those young men and women get married are their marriages more fragile and more likely to break up . It seems that the less educated people have higher divorce rate than those with higher degrees. Has that always been the case . Not necessarily. In the 60s and 70s we dont see this pattern but this is emerging and were seeing the gap between the folks with College Degree and people who dont have College Degree, yes. Over those same years, Stephanie Coontz, women with ph. Ds move to being from the unmarried. And you watched it happened. What happened . Well, i think that this is part of the complex thing that were seeing. A large part of this is good news. Yes, we have much Higher Expectations of marriage. Thats a good thing. Domestic violence has gone down. Child abuse has gone down. People are saying i dont have to settle for a man who doesnt treat me well, and so i will not settle. But the other side of it is that men are becoming more accepting of women who have higher education, and in fact, theyre becoming very grateful for someone who will share bread winning. The only group of women whose marriage rates have risen are women who earn higher than the average wage. It used to be less likely to marry, and women with ph. Ds. In general what were seeing is general. It was a high risk for women to have more education than her husband. Now its not a higher risk. Youre seeing incredible increase and equality that is easier to play out in the middle class where you have two earners working together and communicating together. The leo income people that wendy is talking about you have pressure to move together very soon to save money in this period of declining real wages so you have a better chance of not having a good a 34,567. Low income men are much more likely to abuse their wife than any other segment of the population. When a man loses his job that doubles the chance of divorce. Yes, a good marriage, a good marriage, if it lasts, is a wonderful help. But its also risky because you may end up abused or divorced. This is why people are having such a tough time. Brad wilcox, the divorce rate has moderated some in recent decades. Even as were seeing more unmarried adults im wondering if the reason were seeing fewer marriages breaking up is because a lot of bad unions that would have happened once upon a time simply arent now, and those people are remaining unmarried. Well, yes, certainly compared to the 70s at the height of the divorce revolution i think marriage is a more stable institution, but its partly because weve become more realistic about marriage and more sensible about marriage. The example i give is Newt Gingrich and barack obama. Its not a political point but a generational point. Newt gingrich was caught up in the approach of the 70s when it came to married life, and barack obama has been an exemplary model of marriage and more committed husband, and im confident his marriage will go the distance. But weve seen this decline in divorce among collegeeducated americans. Its not only be more selective but more realistic about what image can deliver. The challenge is can we take that basic mindset and some of those basic skills and orientations, and extend them to working class and poor couples to increase their odds of lasting marriage as well. If we dont do that were going to see more economic inequality, and more low income kids, particularly boys, falling behind in school and later in life and this dystopian future for americans, and thats not something that any american would like to see our country to move towards. The News Business has a problem with stories involving a lot of statistics. We like to slide in that phrase if Current Trends continue, yes again they may not. Thats what makes them Current Trends. Is this a low, a lift, regrouping or reconstruction moment for a social custom thousands of years old, or something more permanent. Stay with us hundreds of days in detention. Al jazeera rejects all the charges and demands immediate release. Thousands calling for their freedom. Its a clear violation of their human rights. We have strongly urged the government to release those journalists. Journalism is not a crime. Were back with inside story on Al Jazeera America. Im ray suarez. Were looking at friends marriage in america this time on the program, and in particular findings from a recent study from pew Research Suggesting a large and growing share of American Adults have never been married, and may never marry. Still with us from Salt Lake City brad wilcox director of the university of Virginia National marriage project. Hes a visiting scholar. Wendy wang, Senior Researcher at pew research center, and in seattle, Stephanie Coontz, professor of family studies, director of research for the council of contemporary families. Wendy, your life does not end when your marriage ends, but do people who have been married and arent look at marriage differently from people who have never been married. Yes, interestingly people who have been married before but currently unmarried are less unlikely to say they want to get married again, then there is a gender difference. Women are much less likely than men to say they want to be married again. To say that, but do we know whether they do . Are women more likely to seek to remarry . Well, its hard to say because we need to see the overall rates of the remarriage, but