He ordered a wife for an hour, a woman arrived and said that i ruined the best hour of her life. The most ingenious experiment is to order a wife for an hour, a husband for an hour, to see what a normal family looks like, openly, come in, hello, service. They called for an hour , they called, so look, i need to sweep, dust, wash the floors and yes, cook borscht, ill do it, yeah, 500 rubles per hour it will suit you, it will suit you, well, great, get started, then, yeah, well, lets go, woman. Such nostalgia for marriage, and this is this bastard who has made dirt in the house, yes, yes, yes, like that, good, this is lying on the couch all day long, doing nothing, yes, yes, yes, yes, like that great, yes, yeah, understandable, yeah, and i ve been here like damn all day, from morning till night, and he would at least raise his legs, you bastard, you women, women, dont you go overboard, forgive me, please , sorry, so, you know what, lets do it so, that means, here i am right here on the sofa, and you, and you, lets praise me, as if you worship me, so ill pay extra, like that, praise me, yes, yeah, yes, oh, oh, oh, lies, my benefactor, tired after work, my beloved, lie down, lie down, my breadwinner, lie down, rest, and ill quietly clean everything up here, wash everything, vacuum everything, iron everything, wash everything, im a woman, im a weakwilled creature, im im not worth your fingernail, who am i, your slave, your servant, all i do is sing here since morning, even if i mock me, thank you for what youre doing, what listen, it just somehow breaks out on its own, i apologize, this wont happen again, you know, dont need to tell me off anymore, lets do it. That means im lying here on the couch, and youre just telling me, how good i am, how good i am, just wait. Man , i dont know you, what good can i say about you, well, you say how good i am in bed, i ll pay triple the amount, yeah, well, ill try, oh, thats mine. Im tired again, youve been pleasing me all night, i havent slept a wink, you know, ive never had a lover like you, youre in beds, like renovation, yeah, what do you mean, like renovation . The longest, oh, what a body, oh, a body , like apollo, what muscles, what abs, listen, youre a delusional man, in what sense do i. A delusional man looks like a delusional pit, and well, yes, im just such a delusional man, yes , before your eyes, im like a salary, uh, what does it mean like a salary, well, well, im just melting before your eyes, you see, okay, youre like a chinchilla fur coat, but excuse me, but what does a chinchilla fur coat mean . You excite me, youre like susanya, and yeah, what do you mean like susanya, you turn me on, well, lady, yes, im on my own , as if im at the market with three bags of food, and what does that mean, im dragging, oh, dragging, woman, dragging, listen, are you off to bed . like the tax office, wow, ah its like youre not satisfied, yes , yes, oh, youre like a receipt for housing and communal services, wow, and this is like, theres a fucking thing, a fucking thing, a fucking thing, you know, youre like a deputy, wow yes, what does this mean . Do you always know which button to press . Yes, yes, you have the most beautiful newsletter, well, put a tick in it, and i put a tick in it, yes, yes, yes , yes, yes, yes all lets smoke, i dont smoke, well, well then, see you tomorrow, i mean , well, i mean, after everything that just happened between us, no, come on, my wife is for an hour, wait, youre kicking me out, youve screwed me, that means, well, dont start, well you guys are all the same, do your job and say goodbye , and then you sit at home alone, streaming with your children, woman, well, no matter what, you know, you know what, lets go with you to the kitchen, cook borscht, i really want to use a ladle. Get, we honestly have to tell you, we need women more than life, well, whoever feeds you will clean everything up, who hell bring you a glass of water or vodka, but how can you live without us . To live without men , and this feeling is called love , im a medium, i see the dead, i can talk to him, are you kidding, no, thats why i m attracted, well, of course, not officially, prime minister. Dont argue with me, id rather pose, gray night again, thank you, yura, thank you for everything, a big concert for yuri shatunovs fiftieth birthday on march 9 on rtr, look, love is when you look in one direction, look, look, look. If you want to look, look, lets see, look, well, look at the screen, look at me, take it out , look, look, sign the agreement, we sign at the same time for one, two, three, sign , look, look, maybe well go to me, just watch a movie, youre watching 100 to one, whats our task to open the whole scoreboard , we can handle it if i ask. Who has the bulge , the name of which character from pushkins works everyone knows, how much is 7. 8, 7. 8, how much, who speaks a lot and loudly at work, if you answer, then with humor, im chopping oak , do not pinch, problems with water, light housing and communal services, i dont know what else, geometry, algebra, physics, chemistry a set for headaches. God forbid now its pibi, if you win, then hurray, 100 to one. Tomorrow on rtr. Trouble. Listen, let me help you. Lets see on the weekend. Actually, i work here , its okay, youll excel, yes, what a shame, my husband has a mistress, maybe well go somewhere, you can withstand a stab in the back, divorces, i wont give it to you, i understand, just dare to go outside, today i was actually kicked out of the house by my husband, come to me, but how to survive the blow to the heart . What are you doing, denis, this is my child, get lost, now its gone, you are my wifes lover, and my daughters who, and i came to talk to you, like man to man, listen, you dont want to kill someone , you can arrange it, vigilantly only the heart, on sunday at rta, i already once. Talked about how my collection of humorous folklore, which i have been collecting for six decades, now fits in four bookcases, this is, so to speak, my honor roll of folk humor , which i isolated from the huge stream of humorous fantasy of all kinds of wits, every year my collection was constantly replenished, flipping through our programs, now numerous pages of videos. Recordings, i periodically want to amuse you from this angle of multifaceted humor. I believe that our folklore is one of. We have very witty people, today for your good mood, i want to read you some excerpts. Look how people joke, the only person in ukhryupinsk who can afford to ride a jaguar is the caretaker of the local zoo. Wife beat her husband on march 8 with two tulips, mind you, thats it it will be very laconic, now the rhythms have changed, there is no need to tell a long joke, no one will listen to them to the end, the shortest phrase, in my opinion, well , hello, rake, i missed you, the most drunk. A globe is rolling towards the bun, can you imagine, two balls roll towards each other, the bun says to the globe in surprise bro, these are the tattoos you have. one guy in the evenings looked through binoculars at a girl living opposite, well, apparently very concerned, in the morning he rang a bell, a female voice asked didnt you see, where did i put my tights yesterday . Money, oh, money, you are such traitors, oh, what , for a walk, that means we go together, and home, i return alone, dear, please make me a sandwich, just a small one, ill make it, which one will turn out, you can gnaw it down to the right size, how are you so cute, handsome and charming . Girl, no boyfriend, died of happiness, girl, what are you doing today, in the evening, nothing, im lazy, girl, sit down, ill give you a ride, but i dont have time, i have to go, girl, give me your phone number, wow, so quick, this is love at first sight, how romantic, this is a robbery, darling , look, what a ring, what a nice little ring, well, a beautiful ring, well , buy it, well, a nice ring, buy, buy, buy, buy, okay, girl, ring with cottage cheese, baltic nine, a pharmacy on valentines day , you know, these foreigners came to us. Thats all, in our village there are only two entertainments, both are already asleep, you see, everything is short, are you warm, is the girl warm, are you warm red , just go nuts, grandpa, not a snowdrift, damn it, solariums, yesterday i seemed to have gained enough. I woke up today, but no , i just got enough, yesterday on the bus a drug addict got into my bag, i didnt notice at first, then i open the bag, hes sitting there , not only the little one i bought is waiting for me at home, but in the evening a bigger one comes, what should i eat . Her eyes looked at each other with tenderness, after all, heels. Happy man, women understand me, blondes, husband calls blonde wife, where are you . In the hole, where . Well, in the hole that you bought for me, you fool, not in the hole, in renao, its good that i gave you a dude. To a blonde comes up to the entrance of the house, dials the apartment number on the intercom, on the intercom , a guy answers her, yes, blonde, are you at home, no , damn it, at the dacha, when you get home, after tomorrow, oh well, for now, i dont know what to do, i have. So scary, she and i were returning home late one night , hooligans attacked us, they raped me, and she was beaten, oh, dont tell me, my wife is also, to put it mildly, not beautiful, recently took her to a plastic surgeon, he said its easier to sew on the tail, but my wife gave birth under water, well, i dont know how the child swam away. The husband comes home, the wife and her friends drink martinis. Whats the reason for drinking . We wash the purchase. Thats good, but what did you buy . Three bottles of martini. Policeman to the driver you drank, not drops, but why are your eyes red . Well, it took a long time to see the traffic light. Honey, why are your shoes covered in lipstick . Po baba . I went, uncle, what do you have with pies, are you pirosit, you cant read russian, it says pie without nobody, mom, did you have a computer as a child, no, but dvds, no, cell phones , no, no, leave me alone, mom, youre a dinosaur did you see . You see how quickly everything changes, fable, a raven is sitting on a tree, a hare runs up raven, raven, what are you doing there . Im not doing anything, but can i also sit under the tree , i wont do anything either, sit down, the hare sat under a bush, a fox ran past, saw a hare and ate it, the crow said carr, i forgot to tell him, in order to do nothing, you have to sit high , well, new years themes, of course, new year is our favorite holiday, it cannot remain without humor. My friends and i have a tradition, every year on december 31st we go, but january 1st is no longer dear doctor frost, i really want you to give me a fat wad of money and a thin physique this year. i hope you dont get confused like the old goat did last year. Heres a parable. God decided to help russian medicine and appeared in the clinic before the patients in the guise of a doctor. A disabled person in a wheelchair came into his office. God looked at him and put his hand on he said to his head get up, go. he got up and went. The corridors surrounded him, well , like a new doctor, and like everyone else, he didnt even measure his blood pressure, and this also happens in our life, photographs of my wife in my wallet reminds me that there could be money in this place, two saleswoman guys, two velikopovich goats, she says, i see. Gogi, prove that the triangle is isosceles, i swear by my mother, on there are also wonderful pearls in the caucasus, here is one of them, in a highmountain village they ask an old man, grandfather, how old are you, 158, wow, and you drink and smoke, of course, otherwise ill never die. Daughter, lets show how we learned all the months of the year, come on, jan, january, february, well, go ahead and continue with the art. My wife and i have a rule i buy groceries every day, she buys groceries every day, it turns out, we drink a day , we have a snack, a grandma is standing in the minibus , something fell from a bag on the grannys side, the driver decided to joke that he fell, everything is mine, the grandma is his says you drive quietly, otherwise i ll fall and be. Yours in the store , you have plywood, you need it for the household, no, damn it, fly over paris, man, he wakes up, such a picture, he wakes up in the morning with a badger sitting on his chest, who are you, well who, who, badger, who am i, what are you doing here, there arent enough squirrels for you drunks, what havent you come up with . For the evening milking , the milkmaid came to the boarding drunk, the cow looked at her, oops, drunk again, yes, wow, has my husband really tortured her again, uhhuh, okay, okay, hold on to your tits, ill jump. Thank you very much, forever young wonderful festival. Together with him we met the thaw and perestroika, together with him we spent the velvet season on the shores of the black sea. Russia is once again opening its arms to those who own the future. Their motto is peace changes because i change. Together with russia, they are moving towards their dream. Ceremony. We are giving karina an exclusive threeweek tour of south america on her birthday. I dont understand anything, whats going on here . Why did you come . I found a piece of paper in your office, a divorce certificate, what kind of stupid joke is this . This is not a joke, this is your new reality, it was erased from your own life, now we have nothing, no car, no house, i dont have a business and a husband, so its time to build a new one, tell me, have you seriously decided to grow from scratch . I i want to prove that its impossible to drown me, the stable is on fire, what is this, andrey, where, where is andrey, ill start everything from the beginning on march 8, on rtr, please, introduction and roll call, you can do it without formation, im very glad, that you came to visit me, how much . I foresaw my fate, now everything is just coming true, i surrender everything with joy, lets all wave our hands when everyone is at home with timur kizyakov, on sunday. Narter, are you going to look for some kind of job, any job, just to get to steif, which irina steif is very unknown fashion designer, yeah, albert, figure it out, come up with something for him, i m hiring you, thank you very much, cleaners, it seemed to me that this new thing could help us, thats exactly what it seemed. Talent cant be bought, you need to create your own collection to show it to people, ill try, talent can be stolen, the entire collection has disappeared, albert, whats wrong with the hall, there will be a fashion show of my collection, you still have nothing to show, it turns out he was deceiving me, not just me , lace, today on rtr. Digital services. Elections are coming soon, where are they . Vote . Lets look at the Russian Central Election Commission website. They have convenient services. You can find out the address of your polling station. Find out about the candidates. This information is also available in your personal account on the state services portal. And again there is humor in discussions about men and women. The difference between them is amazing. In a mans stories, his favorite affairs are just small, banal episodes. In the stories of the woman, her romantic hobbies are whole heartwarming stories. In such cases, the woman does not finish speaking. Pass for smart, conclusion what men have called idiocy, in a woman its called zest. My friends, well, let me remind you of one such old joke, when a wife says to her husband, she says well, you understand, you dont Pay Attention to me, i cant do this anymore, you actually dont even look in my direction, you came and you go straight to the tv , you either the newspaper or football, you dont even know me, you beat me, you dont even know what i look like, you know, if something happens to me, you wont even recognize me, well, well, well, well , well, you love the dog more than me, he he says, calm down, i love you equally , you know, the joke is old , but it says a lot, i dont know, our dear men, but i dont know, well, how, how can i explain it to you, you know, well, its a little bit for a woman i need it, well, a little, well, ive come, look , shes standing, washing the dishes, come, hug, Say Something in your ear, something warm, like my chick, she immediately peepeepee. Thats it, thats enough, you know, to approach a woman, you need to approach her with affection, with affection, or better yet with a mink or a chinchilla, no, well, for some reason, men think that what a fur coat this, this is what, how is this some kind of whim, this is some kind of feminine whim, well, why do you need a fur coat, where are you going to put it on, will it fit in your chefan . Why, where, is it needed , its a fur coat, its like, its like stripes for generals, theres a fur coat, thats it, life is good , i know what im talking about, my life is good, i have a fur coat, well, maybe not a chinchilla, maybe not a mink. Well, a budget option, a rabbit dyed like a leopard, i love her, i adore her, thats all, thats all i have, thats me. I, my god, what holidays for her they are setting up, just recently, i set the table, everything was there, drinks, snacks, candles, and balloons, my husband came, saw this wealth, this table, his eyes became bigger than his face, he was terribly scared, he says what today number, i forgot what kind of holiday it is today, and im invited, i say, of course, my love, what would it be like without you, well, of course, dear, come on, quickly, quickly , take off your clothes, come on, dont be tormented, lets go to table, dont let it simmer, come on, pour it, he says what are we drinking for . I say, today my fur coat is coming of age, but i thought he would fail through the floor, but he laughed it off and said yes, a serious reason. Ill go to the kitchen about this, prepare jellied fish, i say, you know how, what were you hiding, he says, yes , of course i know how, what can i do, a piece of roach, a sip of beer, well, this is how we live, this is normal average family life, girls, i dont know, i dont know, but why are you such fools, why are we in a hurry . Well, why are we in a hurry, what kind of courage do we have in this , well, well, i understand men, they want to be served, so that they they washed, cleaned, cooked, looked after them, well, thats understandable, but where are we going, well, why are we smeared with honey, or something, in this marriage, but look at married women, their arms are 10 cm longer than unmarried people have taste. Lord, look at this, girl, shes still in life, she hasnt seen anything yet, shes still a flower, shes only just, just started, started to somehow go out into the world, shes just got this, this, this these eyes have just opened, what is she already dreaming about, she is dreaming about a knight on a white horse, lord, girl, what knights are 21st century. Where have you seen them, theyve all been in the red book for a long time, all five of them, then its a knight, its a piece of goods, theres a war going on for it, right there for a reason, he came up, got acquainted, thats it, got caught up, dragged to the tax office, no , my dear, no, no, no, you, you, you make your way to him, to this knight, okay, i understand, you are beautiful, you have everything, nature has given you everything she could, you have long but. You have beautiful eyelashes, you have good biceps, you pumped up in the gym, you are strong, like a horse, you broke through, scattered all rivals, grabbed him, hold him, hold him, dont let go for a second, loosened her grip a little, thats it, all thats left is the horse, well, im lucky, i. Got married decently, well, practically t