Miller plus one. Hey folks welcome to Dennis Miller plus one and were doing it by remote nice for our guest to join us today hes the bachelor star Colton Underwood colton 1st appeared on the franchise as a contestant on the bachelorette before becoming the bachelor myself for season 23 in 2019 colton has a new book out called the 1st time finding myself and looking for love on reality t. V. Currently available on line call number with cold thanks for joining us. Now you for having me on i appreciate it and that we can see your bald spot in a mirror behind you know im kidding i get it i know it said. Listen were all struggling with our hair right now and i mean we cant get our haircut room but im here in my pajamas im going to lie to you. Im so theyre my pajamas from the waist listen i hear you. I hear you have the coronavirus know what stage are you do you clear a bit in the middle im here no im actually full recovery so i have antibodies now i have no more traces of the crown of iris in me other than the good stuff i guess you want to call it but i made a full recovery i have the medication today ank to be honest with you and a good doctor out here that was on top of it so well tell me tell me but you know listen well im going to get to the book obviously because people everywhere i look the show is everything with people shut in they love stuff like this they can even john it yeah but lets talk about just the illness for a 2nd because youre like the canary in the coal mine when youve been there what is your 1st notice how long before tell me about getting out of it break it down for us called yeah. So men to be honest with you i started becoming symptomatic and i thought i just had the flu my body aches fever night sweats and i just assumed it was the flu i didnt it was so early on that i was like theres no way statistically speaking i think at the time there was like 30 cases in california 40 cases tested and i didnt think i had it. And one night i just woke up in the bed was completely wet i could barely catch my breath i panicked ordered oxygen boost those little cans off of amazon right 4 am because i was gasping for air. So i think in that moment i realized hey i need to probably take a test and see what i have so i can treat it and i called kathy called 2 doctors on my behalf and i got denied by both of them and then her mom stumbled upon a doctor in Orange County here that had tests and i drove down and took the test and 2 days later realize i tested positive. You know what its so theres a theres an interim weaving thing here where youre freaked out that you might have but theyre talking about how it affects your breathing hyperventilation happens when you get freaked out these things start to dovetail and the next thing you know youre trying to think and i have a trouble catching my breath because i have this dream i worried about it most of it scared the living hell out of you yeah that now is something i always kept in the back of my mind too i was like i am i just anxious and maybe maybe the symptoms are like phantom and im just thinking i have it it might be in my head but then i walk to the bathroom and i have to sit down to pee because i was so winded i think thats when i was like ok this isnt something to play around with. The other scariest part i think was just the unknown and the mixed messaging going on in the news and in the media is the reason why i spoke out publicly about it because at the time there was still spring breakers in florida on the beach my age and there was kids that were saying i dont care if i get it its not going to affect me im sitting here barely being able to talk to my phone without catching my breath tell me about you know what when do you start coming out and whats it feel like do you come out as abruptly as you go in or no it is a lack. I was about 4 or 5 day lag after the medicines completely back to health casting our parents and our whole family did an amazing job so i felt isolated on their 3rd bedroom floor and they would bring up food and water with gloves and masks on and drop it off and leave and i was up there for god god knows how long probably way too long by myself but they stayed healthy they all tested negative. So its you know its a good thing that they did what they did to stay healthy what a long strange trip when you think about a cult that you would go on and its kind of a strange thing youre obviously a good looking guy youre bright you could be with him but you got to t. V. Show im sure at the beginning its kind of a lark and then it turns out you did as well then but where did you end up with her with her parents and theyre bringing stuff up to the child or like your question moto its just an unbelievably strange trip visited you know what i know and the craziest part about it is we sort of been through something similar because theres a 4 month lag between the show and when we filmed it so for 4 months i keep my i keep my relationship secret and i dont let the public know that im with kathy so ive been in this position before where im like running around the house hiding and trying to like just stay locked down here and i cant go out for a walk i cant do anything so i sort of been through it on a minor scale before so we were prepared for it a little bit. You know what they must literally scare the living hell out of you guys with a nondisclosure form because im always thinking what in gods name can they say to these people up front that would scare them to the point that they would literally go for months living this clandestine existence the lawyers just to do with every possible contingency up front you know they talk to us about it for sure but i think theres also for me i dont know i had fun filming the t. V. Show i had i had fun looking at the ratings i had fun engaging the people who were in it for the entertainment i wanted to make my show really good you know i wanted the bastard to do really well so theres a part of me that wanted to like hide out and try to throw people off and you know sort of play the game. Play along just to wrap on your corn to negate youre not able to exercise where you read and watch t. V. What were you doing well when i was at my when i was really really sick i was sleeping obviously 1516 hours a day to recover but for the most part i was Binge Watching t. V. Shows. But also like doing i mean sure i was catching up you know i made a lot of phone calls to a lot of people who i might not have talked to in the past just because i was busy so i got i got them to catch up with old friends and family. Well lets talk about the show and lets talk about the book and once again the book is the 1st time in the show is the bachelor i talk to chris he seems like a i like him harris is his name harris and he seems like it could super close guy this thing is such of you know im an honest to god my son watches and now is a girl and years ago we used to watch it and just because wed always try to do the beats of it it wasnt a drinking game its obviously my sound but wed say hes about to say journeys but she spots a journey well have all these games with it but its how long is a been on the its like survivor forgot 6 its been on so long right yeah i mean i was season 23. Just to put things in perspective and i think thats where it comes to 15 or 16 now in paradise i mean its a year round thing a. B. C. Basically is a bachelor show now are the bachelor networks because they have off work and they have a new thing in show come out i think next week and theyve done a great job with the franchise theyre just expanding and really laying it all out before we get to the book and the book is the 1st time how does it come about like i guess they put ads up on the show and you call it when you go in for interviews im just trying to figure out how do you go from being a watcher of the bachelor to the bachelor. I mean lock i guess fate whatever you want to call it from a movie interview and walking down 63 mall in denver and they had an open casting call at a Hard Rock Cafe and i popped in and talked to some people and i was at a point my life where i had no clue d what was going on what was next i was done playing football so why not you know lets lets try to do it lets have some fun. Well tell your brothers that were from denver i dont know your bag really i grew up denver noir but i grew up in illinois but i live the last 56 years before you know the whole show out in Colorado Tell me about your football journey im obviously fascinated about that yeah so for me i played football for 17 years grew up high school went to Illinois State university played my freshman sophomore engineer their. Pride and my role on the teams and had 2 outstanding allamerican teams and i dont i stay and went undrafted in 2014 to the chargers and then i got cut 3 different times to 3 different teams between the eagles and the raiders and i was just spinning my tires and i was realizing hey this isnt going to be a 1012 year career so i need to figure out whats next for me you know i was practice squad all 3 seasons and i took pride in it had a lot a lot of fun with my teammates but i just wasnt filling me any more you know just in that role while you know it was a necessary role for a team to have i just didnt find pride any more so when i got my final injury i decided it was time to sir pack up and not return boy you know when i watch the 247 show each year you think boy they make good not only is it a brutal sport physically obviously but i cant believe how little fun some some of the coaches was it at some point youve got to come in there like gruden and have the knock knock thing or a few things that we can have a light moment or it just turns into the boot camp god sakes i think john green obviously does a great job. I enjoyed my time through it but the Chargers Organization and stuff too but i was a little crazy. All right folks are going to talk to colt more after the break. Down on this book a little and well like i said a genial chap right after this work called underwood on the mr miller bus. Stop a man whos used to put on a chain on the last one to continue a little spark that sent me a in. Time with nothing to do and that i desired to know. How much although there are some. Local just a little planning she still. Feels to me up on the show as it was still a lot. To some will push it. Puts a. New prince not just one puts a most unusual not a model not so it was too stubborn to teach the depletion. Of the call but it just. Seemed wrong why dont we all just dont all. Get to shape out just the. Ticket and engage with equals betrayal. When so many find themselves worlds apart we choose to look for common ground. Has changed american lives but pharmaceutical companies have a miraculous solution. Based drugs talk to people who are chronic pain patients and believe their prescription is working for them on the remedy be set. Price at the. Close of dependency in addiction to opiates to long term use that really isnt scientifically just. Now study actually suggests that. The long term effects my not just the absence of benefit but actually that might be causing the long term. The world is driven by a dream shaped by. The day or thinks. We dare to ask. Hey folks welcome back to the honest miller plus one colon tell us about the book give us the overview of my friend. Yes i decided to dive in and write a book just to get control back or feel like i had control back of my life and tell my story so therapeutic so emotional to write. A book that covers a lot of different variety of topics from. Being bullied my high school in grade school. You know sort of experience and then through college and beyond your my parents divorce working through that work and through my identity where i fit in what i like and then dive into a little bit of that f. L. And then the bachelor experience and all my relationships whether its with god my parents my girlfriend i laid off there. Well tell you what brother you what you just just described as life you know i had my ass kicked daily in grade school you know and. Its just it is a long strange trip was jerry garcia said are you a happy man youve been happy through all this because you know obviously people downturns in their life upsurge whats been your general demeanor over your life. I would say confused frustrated and now im happy im very happy these last 2 years from may have been so good just in self discovery and you know really coming into my own skin i think having a little more confidence and being ok with just being named being different i dealt with a lot of insecurity as a lot of struggles growing up just confused in trying to fit into. Maybe a culture that i didnt really fit into but i lied and the lie is compounded and then it became frustrating for me and i became depressed and anxious so i can say now im very happy but ive definitely definitely been through ups and downs well whats the Pivotal Moment you know you mentioned god i saw when you were taking off what jeff dealings are to what you pivoted on god or what did you pivot on yeah well so that i contribute that quite a bit to it i grew up in a i went to Catholic Grade School grew up in the church in a very conservative a faith based family and then my when my parents separated i sort of went their rough patch right stepped away from the church and sort of questioned you know why things were happening the way they were happening and i tell a story where when i was with the raiders i was going to write injured my shoulder and i was really lost at the time and carl reached out to me and said hey we have bible study if you want to cut your heart time little short come on come swing by and hang out and i did that and it really changed my perspective really changed my relationship with god and all the best ways and i from there on out i had to lean on him half faith and that definitely helped in my road to sort of recovery of finding myself. Well good for derek and he seems like a good guy when i watched him on the shell its funny quarterbacks in the league have to put on that that they smile when theres a glint coming off their teeth they have to be superheroes but then you have all the pressure coming down on you his brother got a hit every time he dropped back they that he was a Great Quarterback get the hell kicked out of him im sure derek saw that its nice to know hes grounded and that good cat great did great dude and there is that that was a so cool about the locker room or at least part of my football experience was just meeting all different sorts of people from all walks of earth and its great it was a fun time. All right well tell me about cassie now i do like i said i i know the show like a anybody living in the United States those who show to a large degree that you must go on and think ok ill do the show and ill have fun with this and that. Must be a weird moment when you start to think im falling in love here i think. Ill always go to bat the franchise works the show works i really i really do believe in that and when you take the distractions away when youre filming it on your phone you dont talk to your family members you dont talk to your friends you literally have 2 and a half 3 months just to focus on that relationship so for sure works in that aspect and for me i always knew like going on i was going to have a fun time a fun experience and i fell in love like phone love and i always tell people we understand were making a peavy show but that doesnt take away from the fact that you can find love and you can build a relationship and economically be real too so im very very fortunate to be in a loving relationship with her and very very lucky because shes shes great and shes normal so thats the best part about it all is i didnt you know you are never no rather than going to finally be. Normal is a good box to check yeah because its some point youre making the long run fireworks start up the go it off every 3 seconds you need somebody you can look at in the bunker a go k. I trust box like get off the spurs right right. Tell me but. I think youve gone through all permutations of the bachelor whats the 1st when you go on the bachelorette youre one of the guys who was the gal on there was just back to you and her get along and all yes oh season 14 i was back in season and yeah i think i left after that one realizing i had a lot of love for her to the great person i mean you spend that much time as not time that you spend that type of time with somebody youre naturally going to fall in love our fall fall to appreciate and love for them thats what happened to her and then i went to fashion paradise which is their summer show back and that was my personal hell i was not that serious one morning edition. One yeah thats the one that not built for me. And thats that and then and then i had that shot to sort of call the shots and in the bachelor and. I came out happy and made the most sasha whats the worst part of the show called i think its a good read for you seem like a good cat you fall in love i like the fact youre proud of it and think that its as good an incubus place for love as anything is when you think about all the p. F. Over the world they have to meet somewhere at some time there yes whats the downside of some of the guys lunkheads or whats the deal. I mean of course i think actually thats the cool part about it is you get once again its like the melting pot of what and and a locker is going to be you get guys from all over the areas of different types of personalities that part fine. I think as far as a negative. I mean. I dont know i mean obviously its a fine line between t. V. And entertainment history making a t. V. Show and then realizing its your life so that part sometimes can be challenging and where you draw the line. But you know there are so many positives to come out of it as well you know i grew as a person more than i ever thought i was going to as athletes were taught to have a hard shell exterior not let anybody enter not let people know that theyre getting to you and the bass or the exact opposite to let all your walls down and show everybody who you are and deal with it and thats what was sort of cool for me to go through you know what could i use this term loosely when i 1st got famous and like i said i used loosely i got all screwed up in my head because i used to go out and then theres the human party just like so my god i was never go to by anybody have they had noticed and then id feel guilty about like what a shallow person you are that that matters to you and then id have the other place id say well what im just do you were being let me enjoy it a little and i had so many discussions in my head i spent half my daily fighting that fight to what felt right a job Something Like that. I mean there is always a part of me that of course in their twentys like to him this is cool like i could go anywhere i can do anything thats only fun opportunities coming my way of course there was that but i i have to think my family and my friends were humbling me every single day and tha