No, not yet. Why dont we just start from the beginning. Im going to shut the door And when youre ready, you push go. Okay. Um, yeah, this is difficult. Hello. My name is Michael Mcmullen And i was speaking to you on January 17th inside of a Plywood Box here to relate my recollections of 9 11. I mean, obviously its very unresolved for me. I could see the damage being done to people, but they couldnt tell their own story in their own words. It was just plain, plane, plane, plane, plane, building down, building down. There was absolutely no space for more complicated stories about what people actually felt. So this is an go check to see. I just clicked it. Go check to see if it went up. So we wanted to bust open space for that. You can see were in once people went inside the booths, they controlled the recording. They controlled their own story. [ clicking sounds ] pain. It became absolutely clear thAt This really was a very shattered experience with a lot of And-emotion'>Feeling And Emotion behind it. Im just not And our purpose was to capture exactly that, to tell the personal truth of what 9 11 was. Okay. Red lights on. I guess this is working. [ sound of Airline Flying ] whAt The hell was that . Trade center, Trade Center Oh My God. Oh my god. Oh my god. So my husbAnd And i had decided that we were going to take the morning to do some errAnds And have breakfast together. And so we dropped our daughter off at school. I came down the stairs from the school And my husbAnd was talking to a stranger, And he had a page from a Paperback Novel in his hAnd, And the edges were burnt. And i said whats that . And he said look over there. Oh my god what is up with that . Tower Number One is on fire. Thats the building that my son works in. Because if that was his building, my son was in a lot of trouble. Because the smoke was up high And my son worked on the 105th Floor. Jesus christ. I remember holding up my hAnd to the building And trying somehow to count down the number of floors from the top of the building. And i said to myself how can he guest past that fire . It was just horrible. It was bleeding. The building was bleeding into the sky. I said to myself this doesnt feel good. Theres something terribly wrong, theres people up there. I was on the 87th floor. I didnt know what hit us. We thought it was an earthquake. It was so strong, the shake was so strong, we thought we were going to tilt right over in the water beneath us. I heard something come overhead. You could hear it sounded like a plane was in distress. You heard it going like it was in trouble. I go, steve, what is that smell . He said i dont know, it smells like gas, it smells like fuel. Maybe it was a plane. Thats when i started to cry, started to panic. What are we going to do . Hi. My name is flo fox, And im a photographer. I began shooting pictures in 1972 every day. Once in 1973 i went downtown And i said what is this building going on . The guard said, what are you doing here . And i held the strap to my camera And i said im here to photograph the building. So i flirted And rubbed his arm And said, come on, keep me company. And he did. Then i proceeded to photograph whatever i saw. When we got to the roof, i said, wow, if i lean over the edge, can you hold my legs so i wont fall over . He said of course. And i leaned over, took one vertical And then i went, oh as i looked down deep, i realized it went down for eternity. So those are shots that now seem to be so important. Thats it. We have a breaking News Story to tell you about. Apparently a plane has crashed into The World Trade Center here in new York City. It happened just so my mother got on the phone. She lived just across The Street from The World Trade Center. Come over here, did you put your tv on, do you know whats happening . I said no. She said, Oh My God, And she was crying hysterically. I was like, mom, whats going on . My brother said dont tell her, dont tell her, tell her to come here now. Lets go, people across The Street people say that its chaos down there on the And-eyewitness'>Scene And Eyewitness essay thAt This plane actually seems to be in the building. Can the Plane I Cant At This point i thought, oh, this is just a fire, thats not so bad. There will be scaffolding on The World Trade Center for years And theyll fix it. Then i saw my dad on the sidewalk. He turned around And he was crying. He was hysterical. Ive never really seen my dad cry. He said, Oh My God, they were just going to work like i go to work. They were just going to work today. I took off my shoes because everybody knows that jojo wears high heels all the time, im known for it. I took off my shoes And i rolled up my pant And i put my sweater around my waist And we all got together And we all crawled through the debris, smoke. But when you looked At The other side of the floor, all you saw was a black hole. Police, what is your emergency . Youre trapped . The hallway is blocked . Hello, sir . Hello. Hello . Realizing that youre helpless is a terrible thing for a parent. I mean, thats my son, my perfect son. Maybe hell go up to the roof, helicopters will save him. Maybe hes already escaped, but he must have gone past that fire because hes alive And hes going to come out to me. And its a story that well tell to Each Other And to his children, my grAndchildren, in the future. Hi, My Name is lisa knappen. Today is september 10, 2002. I basically spent the past 364 days trying to avoid what happened. Just because im not ready And i thought maybe this would be the best way to do it. So this is kind of a therapy for me, as much as it is, you know, telling my story. With all the Debris Falling, one of the guys at my desk grabbed me, hes like, lets go, lets get out of here. But then it dawned on me, one of my best friends from school was in the second tower on the 89th floor. Shes got to be okay. Obviously shes got to be okay because nothing bad could ever happen to anyone i know. But stupidly i left my Cell Phone on my desk, And so i didnt know how to get In Touch with her. Oh, no Oh My God a second airplane, a 727, just rammed into the building. I remember understAnding that it was terrorism At That moment, but i just i think i was just in such shock that i didnt feel any pain. I didnt understAnd the significance. Grabbed my camera, got my videotape, went outside my building. I could not believe it. Its kind of funny to have this analogy but like a Star Wars movie, when obie heard the Planet Exploding in the minute he said you heard the voices of knowing someone who perished. That loud explosion, i really felt like the voices of all those lives. I kept saying over And over im scared, im scared. I mean, i was born And raised in philadelphia, in the ghetto. So i thought i was a tough cookie. I really did. I really thought i was a tough person. I could hAndle anything. But i realized just how much i couldnt hAndle. In the air you could feel the reality of it. It was just so very apparent thAt The world had changed. What shocks me now is that i could have lived 54 years And not understood how instantaneously things can change And how suddenly just in an instant life is gone And that you go from a moment of just this extraordinary beauty to this extraordinary And-terror'>Horror And Terror And ugliness. It flipped me into a different sort of consciousness about where i was in The World. Suddenly i wasnt just in my apartment And some neighborhood in new York City. Suddenly was witnessing some colossal, terrifying process of being in The World. I guess maybe now getting this off my chest im a little more willing to talk about things And to face what happened And to come to terms with lindseys death, but i just cant get over the fact that shes gone because its just its too much to think about And what happened that day is still too much to think about. So, yeah. I guess thats it. This unfortunately is typical. Its only in the movies that you get the advanced warning. Im sorry to interrupt you but nick has new information from The Pentagon. Are you there . According to information, they have no early indications that anything of this nature could have it was my first day here at The Pentagon. I had brought a few personal items with me that day. I brought my bible, i brought my palm pilot, i brought a novel to read during lunchtime. And then i stopped at one of the i went to go meet my younger sister, patty, in the center of The Pentagon. And we talked for a while And we joked And we also mentioned the uncomfortableness about what was going on in new york that day. And i remember thinking at one point, oh, lets go shopping, lets get out of here. But too realistic And too dedicated to our work to do that. Pentagon officials are scrambling to determine what course of action, if any, the u. S. Military would take. I said, gosh, if this is terrorism, they are going to hit The Pentagon. Staff sergeant weathers, youre crazy. Theres no way thats going to happen. Not The Pentagon. Nothing can get to The Pentagon, no way, no how, its not going to happen. Boom everyone literally lost their mind. Right now we have an airplane that crashed into The Pentagon. Get back, get back we began to rush out, but as i was going out, something in my mind as clear as a bell said go back. I could feel the heat going in. All i had was a tshirt, an undershirt that i ripped off And put around my face. We ran into the metal doors And broke the doors down And went in as far as we could go in. You could hear the fire above you crackling And you could know the smoke was around you because you couldnt see. [ Sirens Blaring ] go ahead. CommAnd, were getting reports of people trapped. A burst of burning debris from the ceiling fell And lAnded on my hAnds. And i shook my hAnds And i got up out of my chair And i started to look around. Everything around me was on fire. The smoke And the fumes just started to take my breath away And i started to cough And choke. And At That point i just really believed that my life was going to end At That point And i cried out to jesus And i asked him, for jesus to just help me, help me get out of this. And no sooner i spoke those words there was a voice could i hear through the smoke is there anybody in here . I said, yes, yes. He said, I Cant see you. I said I Cant see you either but were here, please keep coming. And then i looked up And i could see the silhouette of a figure moving. So i reached out through the smoke And there was a hAnd reaching back And it grabbed me And it pulled me And tried to help me. She explained how she prayed to come out And i told her how i prayed to go in. Dear lord, give me the strength to save this womans life. We answered Each Others prayers. God called him to order And put him into action And he did not waver And he did not falter. He stood strong And brave And came forward. The army awarded me the Purple Heart And the soldiers medal, the highest medal for valor given during peacetime. I told them i didnt want the medals. My reward was when sheila told me i was her guardian angel. God is just an awesome wonder And still to this day will forever be a miracle to me that i am still alive. My name is donald byrd. Im a Choreographer Living here in new York City. While i was watching what i thought was Debris Falling off the building, um it crossed my mind that it was people, And it was unbelievable to me that it might be people that was people that were falling out or jumping out of the building. And so i got a pair of binoculars to verify it. And what i saw were people holding Each Other And then leaning forward And falling out of the building. And the thing that struck me was thAt They didnt struggle. I said to myself this just cant be happening. I have to step back And i have to run And leap And bang my head into a wall to come out of the most horrific nightmare ive ever experienced. This cant be true. It was just too much. It was the sadness And the grief And a very deep Sense Of sadness And the mystery of it all. And i sat on a bench And sobbed for a while. And i just hated the people who had flown the planes into the building because they had forced people to make an impossible decision. Either the fire or falling. Evacuate the building. Evacuate the building. I just drove like a Bat Out Of Hell to get as close to The Pentagon as i could, to get to the Day Care because i knew that shelly would meet me there And wed get the kids out. I pulled over And i ran down there And i found the kids And that was the happiest moment of my life. Right there turning on a dime, it became the worst moment of my life because i knew shelly would have been there if she could have. I kept telling people look for patty, look for patty, shes wearing a red dress. Shes a smaller version of me. But i didnt want to show too much fear, so i kept looking around for her. I thought think positive because youre going to find her sometimes this afternoon or this evening. Its very, very confusing here. I was just hoping i would recognize her shape because everybody was so bundled up that was coming out. And i was looking around there And i didnt see anything. I just felt like i would know when i was near her. I just kept going, kept looking. And the wind was blowing in my face, And i thought of that letter from the civil war, the sullivan letter where he tells his wife that if he dies in battle, that hell come back And be the breeze against her cheek. And i remember talking just to the breeze And telling shelly if thats you, you go back And you wait because were coming to get you. We are living through a day, the 11th september, 2001, that we will be dealing with for a good long time in our lives And our children as well in their own lives. My headmaster said this was not a Fire Drill And that it was a terrorist attack. I mean, i never felt so scared in my entire life. I mean, during that day i was only scared to a certain point. I wasnt scared that something happened And i was going to die. I wasnt scared of me dying. I was scared of my parents dying. I remember seeing a boy on my way to my next class. Hes one of those really popular boys, you know, the ones you expect to see a smile on his face, nothings wrong. But that day he was crying hysterically. And all i wanted to do was go up to him And give him a hug. So i did. I had no idea what was wrong. All i know is that he needed someone And i was there for him on that day. Only a very small hAndful of Terror Groups is on that list And At The top is osama bin laden. The phone started ringing. My husbAnd is a very prominent scholar And we are muslims. And we realized At This very moment our life was about to change. Because not only do we have to grieve for what has happened And feel the sorrow for all of victims, we now have to go on this defensive, to defend our faith. And this is a very big burden. But i feel this event is going to reshape The World into a better place, you know, And we will gain something from it but we have to be patient. Im sorry, you got to go. Go. Lets go gentlemen, lets go At This point i looked at my mom And my family And i was like this is crazy. Lets get out of here, lets go. I thought we maybe should just start walking away from The World Trade Center because what if it fell. And i said that And everybody started to calm me down. My neighbors said, Oh Honey are dont get upset, youre close to your due date. Dont get upset, its not going to fall. I said it is going to fall. Theyre going to fall. And then my dad, he said im going to put her on the floor. Just give me a second. I could actually feel something, Something Jump inside my body And make me run. 65. 35. 20. You saw the firemen Coming Up on the left. You saw the fear in their faces. All Of A Sudden i saw the light. I was like, wow, theres a light. And i was like here i go, im going out. And as i go out, a cop grabs me And says, miss, you cant go out there. I says, no, i got to go. And i fainted on the spot because what i saw was all the devastation, all the jumpers, all the people that jumped. At that point the cop picked me up And he carried me. Its going to fall people cannot stay here. I ran to the corner, And i just dove under a car. When i dove under the car, a priest was with me And he started saying Hail Mary full of grace. Holy good lord, Dear God help us. I just said im sorry for everything i never got to do And im sorry for all that i never was, for the things i didnt work on, for the evil in me that i didnt cure And i loved my life. And im sorry i wont see my baby. You heard people screaming. You heard the debris hitting the car. And then all Of A Sudden you didnt hear a thing. Passionate sentiments will go out, we must not stress, just go in the quest, Speaking Complex Rhymes until infinity, mesmerized by the peace to come. In the heart is the song And in my soul is the drum. At that moment, i just got down on my knees And i pray in spanish, you know. [ speaking spanish ] please take care of my family And my wife. At a time like this, peace is the only thing that is true. May your loved Ones Rest in heaven. Were always going to be remembering the day thAt There was nothing for us to fear of, a day we saw nothing of our true heros. I blurted out as loud as i could, if you guys can hear my voice, youre still alive. Get your face out of your shirt now, come on, do it, do it true spirits, rising from the earth, may the terrorists know they never can defeat itself, the peace that we share And the people that we love. Thank you. This is the scene in Lower Manhattan where the upper floors of The World Trade Center to you are one apparently have completely collapsed. Can you tell me what you saw, what you heard . You all right . After the first building fell, i had seen enough. I was ready to go home. I thought i would just go home. And then i saw these two women sitting next to Each Other just, you know, all disheveled And they looked like they were in shock. And they just werent saying anything And they looked like they needed help. I walked over to them And i told them that i could take them to my parents home And, you know, my mom would give them clothes And a shower And they call their people who love them, whoever was missing them. But they didnt answer. And then some other people kind of started coming around And i saw that, you know, thAt These people obviously looked like they knew a lot more about helping than i did. I started backing away And then i just got this Gut Feeling to take a picture. There was a nice jewish orthodox boy. He saw me in The Street. He wanted to take me home to his mom And let me call my family. And i really, really appreciate that. She told me that i kind of changed her life around And i saved her day, these sort of things And i really felt silly because i didnt do anything really. I just took a few pictures. I do consider myself so lucky. There were people stuck up there, you know . My father started to call me lucky instead of jojo. I said, my god, The World is coming to an end. I mean, you knew another one was coming. You just knew it. You couldnt be human And not be terrified because you didnt know where the next one was going to hit. And it wasnt so much me because if the Plane Hit my building, okay, im dead. It was so much of my family, my Loved Ones, how could i bear the pain, how could i stAnd the pain of losing them in this kind of way . Approximately three minutes after 10, a great Big Black Cloud just mushroomed right up into the air And it shook the heck out of the house. These are the first pictures from somerset county. This is United Airlines 93. It crashed south of pittsburgh near the town of shanksville. My name is earnest stull. Im the mayor of the small town of shanksville. I cannot stress that we do not mind the publicity. We just hate the way it happened. We did not want 40 people to be killed to put our little town on the map. Reporter three, two, one. State police tell us the Crash Scene up close looks like a Scrap Yard leaving the crew And passengers unidentifiable. Okay, i show all Day Work students assigned to this call. Are there any identifiable pieces of Tree Plane back in the Tree Line . Theres just small pieces of metal. I couldnt compute what i was seeing. It just didnt seem real. Right now the pennsylvania State Police have secured the Crash Scene. I just wanted to know what happened, how it could have happened, why it happened. Especially because i am an airline pilot, i fly 737800s. I would put myself in the And-replay'>Cockpit And Replay the different scenarios my mind And it was kind of a frightening experience because based on how were trained, were supposed to deescalate the situation And try not to fly. Im sure the pilots did not have a chance. They did not know what was happening And what was coming And im sure thAt They were executed. This is a massively well coordinated attack that is nothing short of a Declaration Of War on this country. Another issue is im also in the military. Im in the navy reserves. So im not sure At The moment, but am i going to be called up to fight or not . Am i going to have to help protect our country . The Rescue Workers said we need Stretcher Bearers so i just ran And picked up a stretcher And headed further inside the security perimeter. I found myself looking At The door that led down the corridor to shellys office. And there was smoke coming out And it was still burning And everything. You know, i stayed And i didnt have a choice. I knew that if she was in there And she was alive, she was expecting me to come get her. We gathered people at work, colonels, majors, specialists. We pulled people out of smokey rooms, we carried wounded. We tried prying open doors with our hAnds because people were trapped behind them, pounding. And we were going to the sounds And then all at once you could hear no sounds anymore. So many people who were trained And prepared to help someone, to do something, were at a complete loss. You almost felt numb At The time. You dont know whAt To feel. It was just horrific. I dont think well ever forget that pounding on a Door Or Scream from someone we couldnt get to. Radio one to commAnd. We have had structural collapse on the heliport side. Right there i realized how important serving my country is. I have a son And any time im called to duty to go fight in any country, i will give my life for him. I kept going i just cant believe this. This cant be happening. Please not patty. She was the catalyst for our family. She was the one who would bring all of us together. On my down days, i have to think shes there watching me And pushing me And saying keep going, keep going. I miss her so much. I, again, thank you for this opportunity. Apparently the pilot who flew the plane into The Pentagon, it was among us for a couple of years. How could be in our company And be among us And not fall in love with any of us. I mean, its beyond our mentality. The other building may come down. Theyve obviously evacuated the area because of the crash of 1 world Trade Center. Now im told Theres Concern about the second one collapsing as well. Theres been an enormous amount of structural damage. My name is mary adams, And today is august 16th, 2002. Its going to want to be up where it happened. You know what i mean . I talked a lot after September 11th about September 11th but not so much about my brother charlie murphy, who was on the 105th Floor And worked for kanter. It going. It going down now, its going down now. Oh. Oh, those poor people. Oh god. Once the North Tower fell, i just couldnt believe it. I just fell almost the same time just down to my knees. It was that moment i felt like i knew that charlie was gone. You know, but a minute later i began to really believe that he was still alive And we just went into Default Mode, Default Mode of trying to find charlie And where he would be. And then i heard that maybe there were a whole bunch of guys from kanter still alive underground And they had contacted people. And i grabbed on to that like, okay, you know, like this is definitely true. We were there for three days And calling And looking And following every possibility. My brothers like a hero in our family, just this big, jovial, full of Life Guy who was really coming into his own. He was in love And very happy And soon to be married. So my husbAnd had been working down at ground zero, And i remember we had the Air Conditioning on And i had finally put the kids to bed And we sat in the Living Room And i cracked a beer, you know, having slept just a few hours here or there And we just sat down in this Cold Room And i drank a cold beer. And he said, mary, you know, theyre not going to find anybody alive. You know, he said i saw it. Theres nobody. He said charlies dead. But i said a prayer with him, you know, And it felt so good to finally have some kind of answer. You know, everybody knows this but what a tremendous loss of so many, you know, great, great people. How foolish. We can see new York City And the smoke. Our prayers And thoughts go out to all the people there And everywhere else. Here im looking up And down the east coast. This has been one of the darkest days in america, even more than nine hours now after this disaster began, officials do not know how many people were killed, how many still are trapped in all the rubble. At 6 00 they disbAnded. Somebody said, look, the Old Guard is going to come down from Fort Meyer And take over the Stretcher Duties here, you all are free to go. And then i was stuck in a quAndary. Should i stay there And try And get inside And find shelly And possibly die or go home And be with the kid And leave her there . Her there . I still dont know if i made the right choice. I went home. I figured they needed one parent At Their side. They were confused, wondering what was going on. So i went home. Welcome to today on this wednesday morning. People are waking up with heavy hearts, especially those with lost Loved Ones or who are uncertain where their Loved Ones are. On the morning of the 12th, i hopped on a Police Launch with two of my paramedics that went over to ground zero. We were hoping beyond hope that we would see someone, that we would be able to save. But it was a ghost town. The most surreal thing i have ever seen in my life. There were Body Parts everywhere. There was clothing in the trees And the stench was somewhat nauseating. I had smelled it before At The morgue but this was overwhelming. What was most heartening were the volunteers. Just thousAnds of people. They would say, im from cincinnati, im from miami, from maine, firemen, police, there were just rounds of applause for these people who came from everywhere in our great country to help with the rescue. I remember talking to a construction guy. And i am, who are you . Why are you here . He said im an american. I have to do this. There was no day And there was no night. And there was no time for us to leave. We just stayed there. I helped in this war zone. People would walk by, total strangers, And just touch Each Other. Because you needed to feel life. I would just do loops. Go in And out of the blocks with And-sugar'>Coffee And Sugar And milk. It got to the point we realized, the guys were waiting for us. They were so grateful. I used to be an emt. I wanted to help any way i could. I climbed through hole And little crevices. All over the freaking hill. There were just so many weird things. It was a morgue, a triage center, food, a bathroom, a massage tent. I carried bodies, parts of bodies, whatever. I never felt so helpless. These guys, these grown men, they would come in And they would sit down And tell you these stories of whAt They had been through that day And whAt Theyd seen. The buckets. The buckets were the things i couldnt stAnd. They would fill the buckets with Body Parts And leave them at our station. You had to hold it together because they were in there to talk to you And they were in there because they just needed somebody to talk to, to listen to them. WhAt They found of my son, whAt They call the remains of my son is a bone fragment. Three inches by an inch And a half by half an inch. So we have something of him to bury. It certainly isnt enough. But it is something. It is a torture that stays with you. And if there are people that can get out from underneath it, god bless them. I know I Cant. I always believed that every day should be treasured And that everybody deserves a And-everybody'>Chance And Everybody is equal. I didnt use the word hate. I now use it with every fiber of my being And i hate that i do. On september 21st, i gave birth to reagan. It wasnt anything like i had planned because it was so close to this tragedy. It was totally different. And i feel in certain aspects quite ruined. I read an account that a man gave about losing his son to a Mountain Climbing Accident And he said that one of the biggest changes for him was that he no longer actively looks for happiness. But if it comes to him unsolicited, he embraces it. And i think thats what happened to us. Father in heaven it was in october. The city was having service And it was a very upsetting day. But as we were leaving, we saw these therapy dogs. And we just sat in the middle of The Street And started to pet them. As she was petting my dog, she started to cry. She looked at me And she told me that she had lost her son in The World Trade Center. Matthew, we always likened him to a Golden Retriever puppy. He kind of had the same loyalty, the same sloppiness. The same table manners. He just loved dogs. My heart just went out to her And i said that i would like to name my new dog after her matthew. It was our moment of joy, unsolicited. A perfect tribute to him. Were very grateful. Thats it. And the last 90 days, the nation has been consumed by grief. Especially those directly affected by the attacks. And the beginning of october, i got a job with fema And it was a Onestop Shop Relief center where people could come And get their food stamps, they could apply for unemployment, childcare, education, you name it. One afternoon at christmas time, the Waiting Room was stuffed to the gills. Everyone was so worried about money And the holidays Coming Up, And the poignant Sense Of loss. And one client i started talking to And she said, im a singer And ive lost all these gigs And i dont have any money. And i said, would you mind singing for us . And she said sure. What do you want me to sing . And she stood up And sang new York State of mind. And ive never felt the center so hushed And focused And together. It was this amazing moment of resiliency And the Sense Of, you know, somehow were going to get to a different place. You can look right into that. Thank you. Are we good . My name is lis rid. Its tuesday, april 27th, 2021. Its very surreal to be back here And to be talking about everything that has happened And changed since then, And then also specifically the experience of recording that video in this booth. Hi, My Name is lisa. Today is september 10, 2002. It was 364 days after September 11th that i went in And i recorded that video. And i know that in those 364 days, i didnt deal with my feelings about lindsey, or even the day of September 11th itself. Ive avoided talking to my friends And And-coworkers'>Family And Coworkers about everything that happened. Im not ready. I mean, its the worst thing ive ever seen. The worst thing i hope to see. For years it was too hard to even see a picture, that image that was everywhere. I mean, just the idea of going back And trying process all of that felt impossible. Then i went to the memorial. The way thAt The water moves. All of those names around it. It is just a transformative experience. I was then like so much more at peace with sharing my feelings with my kids. They hear stories about her all the time. I dont know. I wonder if it will help them one day when they lose somebody they love. They will be able to remember that like, i had a friend who i loved And i lost. And it is okay to be sad. Its okay to grieve because you can also live your life And you can love your life And you can be happy, too. Mary adams, And today is april 30th, 2021. It wasnt easy for me to mourn my brother. I wasnt good at it. And so i remember walking back into work, about two weeks later. Im a Social Worker by trade for girls that couldnt live at home. Gradually throughout the day, one by one, they would come in And check in, say hello. Maybe give me a hug, nod at me. For these girls, a Brother Being rAndomly killed on a beautiful Tuesday Wasnt unusual. Many of them had lost brothers, cousins, siblings, parents, they got it. They understood. They knew i wasnt fixed or healed in two weeks time. They knew where i was. And in turn, they showed me a path. They did get up And go to school. They had some rough times. They had a lot of joy. And so i learned that youre never going to get just all joy And all laughter. So we have to accept the Heart Ache And find a way to integrate it And live with it And still move forward. You know, he is still really in my heart. He always will be. I ride my bike all the way to work. Hes always in my heart. Now i dont hate watching that video, bringing me back so close to 2000 2001. It feels almost good. It feels as if im just closer to charlie. Almost as if he could be right there. Perfect. Thank you. It was heart breaking, absolutely heart breaking, thinking about the people that died. It just stayed with me. In particular, the people jumping from the building. My name is donald bird. Im a Choreographer Living in new York City. I made a dance that was directly related to how i felt. And not just that it haunted me, but also this idea of those people being at peace. Once i was able to get that out, the kind of work that i did changed. I started to think about my artistic purpose differently. I started making work that kind of addressed issues of social justice, race, i mean, it could no longer be for me. It needed to be of service to the community. And that is what i wanted to do. And that was a direct result, i think, of what happened on 9 11 which was a kind of Eye Opener about how i wanted to live. Now i live in a space thats not about despair. Its about hope. There are moments when I Cant believe im alive. I touch my skin just to feel my blood flow. I dont think that, some days i dont think i made it. After the 9 11 attacks, i went home, everything really settled in. I was in shock. I mean, the first two years were really rough for me. I just suffered Survivors Guilt At The beginning, really, really, really bad. I saw a lot of people die. I saw a lot of people jump. I saw a lot. For a long time, i struggled with my purpose. I mean, i was mentally messed up in the head. Why did god leave me . A few weeks ago, some new yorkers put together a criptography exhibit. They asked people to send in pictures they had taken on September 11th. There was this Art Gallery called here is new york, a democracy of photographs. I remember stAnding outside the Art Gallery with my friend dominique, my coworker. We were drinking hot chocolate. We were looking At The Tv Screen showing the photos that were inside. Every wall in the store, even the ceilings, are lined with pictures. Hundreds And hundreds of pictures. Many of them are too powerful to explain, even for the people who were there. And in, oh, my god, dominique, thats us. When i found that picture, it actually changed my life. It just gave me a lot of closure. Thats the word im looking for. It gave me a lot of closure And i could move on with my life. It just made me feel better. Hes part of my history. He caught me At The worst moment of my life. But that worst moment of my life brought me to the best moments of my life. Ready, daddy . Losing a spouse was a horrible place to be. I mean, i opened that booth door, it was almost literally looking into darkness And wondering what was coming next. I didnt know. I didnt know how things would shake out. We moved to Shepherds Town, west virginia. I wanted to get the kids out of d. C. Because i was afraid there could be another attack. I lived in pretty constant fear of that. So wed been there about a month And i was trying to be a full time dad. I thought the kids needed that. But obviously, it was not always easy. Then one day, i was cleaning out the family car. Apparently i didnt do that very often because i found a little Note Pad under one of the seats. And it was shellys Note Pad. And it had a bunch of grocery lists, things like that, but it also had some words that she wrote down And they were, we have only a finite number of days on this earth. Make them extraordinary And fill them with passion. And i have taken that as me guidance from her. To approach life with purpose And make a positive difference. I remember the school in Shepherds Town had this excellent kindergarten teacher. Her name was mrs. Ahmed. She was a muslim woman. There were two kindergarten teachers. There was nothing wrong with the other one. I told the principal, i would really like the kids to go through Miss Ahmeds class. Because all their life theyre going to hear that muslims killed their mother And thats just not true. There were these inhuman scum who killed their mother. They hijacked a religion to do it. So the principal agreed And the kids both went through Miss Ahmeds kindergarten. You have to clap like this. And now weve got one graduating from harvard. Weve got another one going to law school. So bravo, Miss Ahmed. And bravo, shelly. I mean, she is a remarkable And-everything'>Woman And Everything that has happened since 9 11 has born her touch, one way or another. My name is a. J. Divine And im in the navy reserves. So now the issue is am i going to be called up to fight or not . The question from my wife is, what do you mean you have to go to afghanistan for a year . That doesnt make any sense. Youre 43 years old. It was in early 2012 when i finally shipped out. I absolutely went with the pre conceived notion that i was going to be hated. I was going to be maybe under a great deal of danger all the time because they dont like americans And they dont like christians. U. S. Afghan relations are at an already difficult point. So my whole philosophy was, okay, im just going to do the absolute minimum to keep myself out of Harms Way And just work. But you know, that meant having to travel outside of the base, outside of protection on our own And the flak jackets And the And-travel'>Gear And Travel two miles through Kabul City streets to get to the Ministry Of Defense where the afghan Air Base was. I came into the morning with extraordinary anxiety. All right. Lets get to work. Lets start working on these numbers. How are we going to get this aircraft up And flying . And they were like, take it easy. How is your family doing . How are your kids . Are they healthy . Yeah, yeah, theyre healthy. Theyre healthy. Lets get on work. Slow down. Slow down. And we wouldnt get any work done until we talked about Each Others families. I started learning that. I thought that was cool. We all love our families but they make a certain emphasis on it. Regardless of whether we should have been in afghanistan or we havent have been in afghanistan, we had a personal connection with Each Other. And i started realizing our common humanness. Hey, were not so different from Each Other. I mean, i became so immersed in it. I changed my whole perspective. Im not leaving here without doing something good. I felt like im working for my brothers. And i can tell they felt the same way about me. When i sit back And i reflect on the reality that 20 years ago, someone tried to murder me, i could be very bitter about that. I had seconddegree burns to my face, second And third degree burns to my hAnds And the backs of my arms. But just as christ forgave me, i also have to forgive the people who carried out the act. I have grAnddaughters And i had to make sure that i didnt let that bitter root grow in me. I dont want them growing up with And-bitterness'>Prejudice And Bitterness And hatred. I dont want them saying, whoa, this group tried to kill my grAndmother. I want them to know unconditional love. I dont know if this will be, if youll use this or not, but god has an awesome Sense Of humor. Because our oldest Sons Wife is from egypt And she was raised muslim. So how would it be, how would it be if i held that in my heart And here my son brings home this woman who he says he loves And he wants to marry. He cant marry her. Shes one of them. Im going to hug her And love her And embrace her. And theyre about to give us our first grAndson. Its awesome. Are we recording, right . All we can do now is try to, try to correct the wrong thinking of people so that future things like this do not happen. Because of 9 11, american public was so concerned And fearful about islam And muslims And Al Qaeda And you know, the enemy from within. That i as an Architect Cal Designer had to step up. I wanted to be part of the renewal, of healing america, healing my faith. And so about ten years ago, we proposed a Community Center. It was called the islamic Community Center in Lower Manhattan. A beautiful place that would be for all. But then people began to attack us. I think it is just to spit in our face. I think theyre laughing at us. It really hurt me when they said, not you, not now, And not here. I started receiving Hate Letters after Hate Letters. But he also started receiving love letters. And these letters always remind me to this day thAt There indeed are two americas. Im feeling sad about america right now. Im feeling sad because this was a nation that was a beacon of hope for many people. And over the years, post 9 11, weve come apart. Lets talk about a tale of two cities. In america, september 12th, 2001, And america whatever day it is, 2021. The president rescued a survivor And im proud of it. Everybody was together, right . Coeds, College Kids bringing us Peanut Butter And jelly on Watch Paper At The site. America was probably as unified as it could ever be. There was no bipartisan divide. He just said, im an american. I have to do this. Everybody was one. The people that were down there And that i shared this with, we still keep In Touch. I met people down there that i will be friends with the rest of my life. SAndy diane And kim And sal, these people, they have a part of me now. It kind of sums it up, even after 20 years, it has an emotional part to it. Ohoh, whats that . Ohoh, whats that . Here we are. 20 years later. Yeah. 20 years later. Wow you were a very happy baby. So happy. You smiled all the time. And we felt so fortunate that we had you because we were able to just focus on you And even though there was so much death around us At ThAt Time, you just brought so much hope to everybody. But then my dad, your grAndfather, was quickly diagnosed with cancers relating to 9 11 toxins. Yes. So you were dealing with thAt Throughout your life. I think people underestimate the power behind tragedy. I mean, it is something that is a constant reminder that life is really, really a beautiful And special And-family'>Thing And Family is so important. It is everything. I remember, i took chAndler when she was about 4, i took her to the Dress Shop in town. And the kids really loved the owner of the Dress Shop, Miss Heather. So the next day, when i picked the kids up from school, they asked if they could go see Miss Heather again. Sure. Miss heather was very pretty. And i didnt mind. It took about six months before i got the nerve to ask her out on a date. And the rest is history. Daddy, look what i got heather. I remarried in 2007. Isnt that nice . Wasnt easy to move on like that. But it taught me a lesson, thAt The heart can expAnd. And love is a precious thing. We shouldnt ignore it. Being a 9 11 survivor, it is something that you never forget. You have to be able to persevere And i try my best every single day to overcome my fears. I try every single day. I think i do okay. There are days that i think too much And there are days that, okay, im good. Lets do this. You say there is somebody here to see me . Hey, hey how are you . Hey. Hey, buddy i guess the struggle, the struggle to survive is like a really powerful part of being a human being. We have this incredible resiliency. We can survive all kinds of things. Wars And famines And all kinds of Hardships Human Beings go through. Just find a spot wherever you like. And then once were surviving, the struggle to like be happy. Thats something else. Thats just learning to be okay with the not okay. Learning to embrace the discomfort And being okay with discomfort. Until it passes. I think thats about it. Thank you. I think thats good. Should i just exit . I guess i should. That will do it. Tech every customer has their own safelite story. This couple loves Camping Adventures And their suv is always there with them. So when their windshield got a chip, they wanted it fixed fast. They drove to Safelite Autoglass for a guaranteed, sameday, inshop repair. We repaired the chip before it could crack. And with their insurance, it was no cost to them. Woman really . Tech thats service you can trust, when you need it most. Pop Rock Music singers safelite repair, safelite replace. New customers get our best deals on all smartphones. Thats right. But what if im already a customer . Oh, no problem. Hey, cam. . Ah, same deal yeah, its kind of our thing. Huh, thats a great deal. What if im new to At T . Cam, can you. . Hey. 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Welcome to Memory Box, the conversation. You just saw the Tv Debut of Memory Box echoes of 9 11 which revisits eyewitness accounts of the September 11th attacks recorded as part of an artists project. For the next halfhour well continue the powerful And important conversations this documentary tackles. And well start those conversations right now with the filmmakers behind Memory Box, David Belton And bjorn. What drew you to these stories . Thank you, jonathan. I guess the question that drew me to these stories was, is there a way of telling the story of 9 11 differently . Is there a way of coming at it from a different angle . And i had always been fascinated, intrigued by this idea of life changing in an instant. And undeniably, thats what happened on the day of 9 11. Peoples life, The World was upended. That always stuck with me. As a filmmaker, i thought, can i capture that . So i searched And i searched. And after many years of looking, i found this extraordinary project. Voices of 9 11. By the artists, And i was immediately drawn in. There was this whole spectrum of Human Emotion on display. There was fear, loss, anger, despair. It was the immersive quality of the voices thAt They had created for them that drew me to the project. And as a filmmaker, i thought, we can do something with this. And david is a long time collaborator And friend. I took it to him And we began to develop the idea together And thats how it began. So david, what did you hope to bring to life by sharing these stories with a larger audience . The stories were so authentic. These people were walking into this booth entirely of their own volition they were doing it. No one asked them to sit down. And once they closed the door, they then had total control over whether they were recorded or not, they could switch the camera on, switch the camera off. As a filmmaker you were immediately losing some control. Were used to controlling the interview just like you And i are doing it now. But this was just unmediated testimony that we as filmmakers have no control over. As i was immediately drawn to the idea that you are hearing from people in a much more authentic, undirected, honest, painfully honest way, often. About their experiences. You listened to these voices And they tell you stories but they also tell you, they were telling you how they felt. And they were telling you how they felt without being, they were telling it absolutely from their hearts. So it came across as hugely authentic. And it also was a, an extraordinary group of people. They werent necessarily first responders. They werent necessarily all survivors. They were often just ordinary people who were on the sidewalks that day. So they were a mixture of people. Survivors, rescuers And just witnesses. So they felt like us. They felt like normal people. And in a strange way, i think that normal person had been rather eclipsed from the stories that have been told about 9 11 And this was a chance to redress that. That is a great point. Normal people. And what was so powerful about the film was seeing these normal people in the days after 9 11. But whAt Then made the film even more powerful was seeing them 20 years later. So what was the process like to bring these people back 20 years later . To tell their stories again . What did you expect . We lived with the stories And with the people in development for well over a people. And we always knew the artist had given us this incredible time capsule. We captured this moment in history And we got to hear how people felt in that moment. What was missing was the contemporary angle. How do we tell that story . As filmmakers, we wrestled with that for a while. I think the most genuine thing was, the space they entered, the Safe Space they entered 20 years ago, it just felt appropriate And right for the film that we recreate the space. It was a bit daunting as directors, left to bring these people back And putting them in the box And what will they say. But i think the contributors in our film were extraordinary. They entered in 20 years ago And they did the same thing again this year. It was emotional And raw And i think the process began And ended with us just not as filmmakers, just as human beings, wanting to know how these people. Were wanting to know how the marshalls And the others just wanted to know, reaching out to them And having a conversation with them across zoom And then inviting them back to the box. It felt very important to us that we did adhere really closely to the same approach thAt They had done 20 years ago so we werent asking them questions in the booth. They came in with whatever they wanted to say which is kind of risky when youre trying to make a film. You dont know what people will say. It was as if they had the Clock Wound back 20 years. They kind of got it. As soon as they sat down in that booth, the door closed, they switched on. And some that, yeah, ive been here before And i kind of know what i want to say. So they then spoke from their heart. Thank you both for your powerful And beautiful film. Thank you for being here. Coming up, our panel discusses the political, military And societal fallout from 9 11 as we saw it unfold in Memory Box. And later, an important conversation about Mental Health And how we heal in the wake of tragedy. Why should i cure my Hepatitis C . How can i hAndle one more thing . You can stay on track And be cured in only 8 weeks with mavyret. You can keep your momentum with mavyret. 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Claire, this is a big picture question. What did you feel watching Memory Box . What have you been reflecting on as we near the 20year mark since 9 11 . I think i felt vulnerability. Emotional vulnerability. And i think that was an overriding sense in this country in the days after the attack. I think it was shocking to most americans that someone would have that kind of hatred And go to those extremes. And i look At The aftermath of 9 11 And what happened politically in this country, And it makes me very sad because we came to semithings like religious profiling. It is a very unamerican thing. But Thats Something this country was willing to embrace because of the And-vulnerability'>Fear And Vulnerability they felt as a result of those attacks. And paul, you volunteered for the invasion of iraq after September 11th. Seeing in Memory Box the story of those who signed up to serve after 9 11, what comes to mind for you . I think the whole thing, jonathan, left me with And-weight'>Sadness And Weight but also an understAnding that im not the only one carrying that weight. So theres a Sense Of community. And i think theres a need for all of us that experienced it directly to try to share our stories And to keep the flame And to educate a new generation of americans who were not even alive. It has come Full Circle for me. 20 years after 9 11, im teaching a class on 9 11 in my college And most of the students in my Class Werent even born And im assigning this film to them so they can understAnd the humanity of that day. UnderstAnd the personal stories And the realness of that day. So i think it is coming Full Circle for a lot of us. The thing i remember is never forget. And i hope people never forget those stories but also the lessons learned. 20 years later, were leaving afghanistan And it seems we forgot that Sense Of unity, that Sense Of cohesion. We forgot theres a need for accountability on our wars And on our government And on our entire country. So im always struck by the unity that i saw that day on the ground. Its never ive never seen since. I hope this film can help people see that it is possible. We need it maybe more now than we did on 9 11. I hear you. Antimuslim sentiment grew after 9 11. Something we saw touched on in Memory Box. What was your Advocacy Work like then . How has it changed in more recent years . You know, i have to say before anything how heart broken i am, not only at watching the documentary but i am originally from iraq And i have worked in afghanistan for more than a decade. And i worked in iraq as well as a humanitarian. And as i reflect on the consequences of it, i have to remind everyone that also, that day, led to according to brown university, And this is an underestimate, about 800,000 people killed from And-afghanistan'>Iraq And Afghanistan. 335,000 civilians were killed besides the u. S. Soldiers, women And men, u. S. Servicemen And women of 35 Million people became refugees around The World. My own family, my own family, are all refugees from all over The World. So it was, it makes me sad thAt The reflection is not only of that day. It is how america hAndled that day And how we, in my opinion, lost something so fundamentally beautiful about america, which is its vls. 20 years later, i reflect on that. I think america lost its moral grounds in The World of how it hAndled it. It is not that it wasnt a horrible day. It led to many other horrible days And many more lives killed, And we need to reflect on how do we hAndle crisis in a way that leads to more peace than more wars, And it leads to grounding our moral grounds, rather than losing our values And i think At The end of the day we have lost. You know, claire, i end this conversation with you And going Back Tom powerful statement they just that. America lost not only americans but its moral ground. Your reflection on that. I dont think there is any question thAt The fear And the desire to show dominance played into Policy Decisions that were made in the years, weeks, months, following 9 11. Theres no question thAt There was an abiding sense thAt There was vengeance we had to get. We had to retaliate against those who had attacked us. All of that is Human Nature And perfectly understAndable. So many decisions were made that were not thoughtful. The Domestic Violence thAt The fbi began. The religious profiling that became common place at our airports. Ill never forget, one of my doctors in st. Louis telling me his personal story that when he came back from visiting family in pakistan, the way he had been treated At The airport. And it was heart breaking. This is a wonderful, loyal american. It became okay for to us profile what religion And how people looked And where they came from in The World. And that obviously is a very dark mark against the american values that most of us, i think, would like to think we still hold on to in this country. I hope 20 years from now we can talk more about the unity that is in this country but it will take a lot of work to get there. Thank you all very much for your time. For a final discussion, he with wanted to look At The Mental Health impact of 9 11 as we see in Memory Box, tragedies, be it 9 11 or the Andemic-shape'>Coronavirus PAndemic Shape us long after the immediate impact has passed. To talk with us about resiliency in the face of tragedy, were joined now by dr. Jeffrey gardier. Doctor, thank you very much for being here in Memory Box, there is a real catharsis At The end to see the resiliency of these victims 20 years later. How can we all embrace And live that resiliency . In watching Memory Box, people will see in the face of tragedy, before we can even respond, while there is still thAt Trauma, that we are all linked together in our response. And that response is coming together in being able to help And support one another. And we know that we have many traumatic events, jonathan, going on now. The pAndemic, the rise of racism And white supremacy. The assault on democracy. Global warming. So by learning those lessons, knowing if we come together as a unified force, thAt There isnt anything that we cant overcome. And that is where we need to be right now. So Memory Box is a lesson for all of us. And as you correctly stated, it is a catharsis but even more than that, it is a blue print as to how people can come together And how beautiful that can be And it was for some time until we saw some of the other things that started happening afterwards with regard to Muslim Americans And how they were treated And so on. Paul just mentioned a moment ago, hes now teaching 9 11 to students who were not even born then. So we are Coming Up on the 20th Anniversary since the September 11th attacks. How can we communal the importance of thAt Tragic day to a generation who cant remember it or was not even born yet . Yeah. I think paul is doing the right thing by showing them whAt This 9 11 was about. Because we have so many young people who really dont know. They read about it but they dont really feel the impact. And the lesson i think they can learn in watching this is that when there is this sort of trauma, what we havent seen since the pAndemic is the lesson that people can come together. We find that hard to fathom in this divided country of ours in a world that is upside down. Knowing that it can be done is perhaps the biggest lesson thAt They can learn. And the beauty of people being together, no matter whAt The race is. It is not a political response we need. It is an american response And thats what happened in 9 11 And thats what we need right now. An american response. What a great way to end this conversation. Thank you for joining us tonight. As the legacy of 9 11 transitions from living memory into u. S. History, the stories of the survivors, those who were inspired to serve, And those who were impacted by the attacks must be told. Over the last two hours, we hope by telling some of these stories, youve been moved, educated, And maybe even had your perspective changed a bit. Thank you for watching Memory Box, echoes of 9 11, Andhave a. Thanks to your home for joining us. Super happy to have you here. Thanks for being here. The Washington Field Office of the Fbi Today released new footage, this new footage, showing the person who they believe paced pipe bombs, real bombs operational explosive devices. At the headquarters of the democratic party. And the headquarters of the Republican Party in washington d. C. The night before the January 6th attack on the u. S. Capital. Again this is new footage. The fbi says this was shot quite near Thes Headquarters where the first bomb was placed. And you can see, not much happens in the footage, except you do get a good long look At Th