Aahh the time has come to recognition that donald trump was never the right solution for our country. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, trumps state of the union. Plus, stephen welcomes the hosts of pod save america, 2 dope queens, phoebe robinson, and julia roberts. And musical guest, Chris Stapleton. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen hello how are you . Good to see you beautiful, excellent you cant fool him. Jon my friend have a good show. Audience efen Stephen Stephen stephen. Stephen thanks, everybody. Audience Stephen StephenStephen StephenStephen Chris, good to see you. Hey, everybody please, have a seat youre too kind thank you so much. You can feel the electricity in this room. You can feel it. You can feel it. Welcome to the late show. Ladies and gentlement, im your host, Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause you can feel that. You can feel that. Thats amazing thats thats only a live show is like that, right there. cheers and applause thats it. Because the truth slook at that, we are we are live right now, and barely conscious following a 90minute speech. There were some bright spots in this speech. There were really some heartwarming moments. Some amazing people there were in the gallery. Congressman steve scalise, who survived an attack on that softball field. A Police Officer who saved a baby, a young boy whos putting flags on soldiers graves, and families who have gone through unspeakable tragedies. Honestly, some of the most beautiful, most impressive americans you could imagine. And the president was there, too. laughter going into this, going into the evening, the bar, the bar for success was pretty low, okay. He just had to stay on script, no matter what. And he did, which was impressive, considering everything democrats did to distract him. There he is. Now, go to the other angle, jim. Thats not fair. Thats not fair. Heres one unusual thing we found out right before the speech the first lady travel to the speech in a separate car. I guess melania didnt want anything from the burger king drivethrough. I could go for some onion rings. But when the president entered, the cameras caught melania looking radiantly. Happy . The night began with one huge surprise trump was able to lift a glass with one hand cheers and applause as part at the beginning of the speech, he listed some of the natural disasters weve endured this year. We have endured floods and fires and storms. Stephen and stormys dont forget her laughter she was one of the most expensive disasters for you, personally. And he reached out to those still recovering. To everyone still recovering in texas, florida, louisiana, puerto rico, and the Virgin Islands everywhere we are with you, we love you, and we always will pull through together, always stephen that is going to be a comforting message to people of puerto rico, once they have electricity to turn on their tvs. cheers and applause still a Million People, right . A Million People in puerto rico still dont have power. And he followed up on that inn separational tone. If there is a mountain, we climb it. If there is a frontier, we cross it. If there is a challenge, we tame it. If there is an opportunity, we seize it. Stephen if theres a burger, we eat it. laughte if there is a porn star, we bone it. laughter if theres an immigrant, we deport it. If theres an investigation, we undermine it. laughter cheers and applause i believe that. I believe that with all whatevers in here. And he boasted about creating minority jobs. Africanamerican unemployment stands at the lowest rate ever recorded. Stephen well, there was one time when African American unemployment was at zero, but only half of trumps base wants to go back there. Bit i said half but with stats like that, you have to imagine African American leaders must have been pretty impressed. And i stand corrected. All right, my mistake. The speech was a huge hit with republicans. Just look how excited Mitch Mcconnell was. Actually, thats not fair. I believe we do have footage of mcconnell more excited. laughing stephen so happy so happy just dancing a shoe just dancing with a shoe. Hell find cinderella eventually. laughter and trump took time to boast about his new tax plan. To lower tax rates for hardworking americans, we nearly doubled the standard deduction for everyone. applause now the first 24,000 earned by a married couple is completely taxfree. Stephen a benefit trump will be enjoying for a few more weeks, at least. Once again, once again who knows. Theyll make it to april 15. Once again, he inspired with his soaring words. All of us together as one team, one people, and one American Family can do anything. Stephen yes, one American Family can do anything promote your shoe brand, use your relationship to the president to sell real estate in china anything. Plus, plus applause yes. Give it up for the trumps. Give it up. Family values. Plus, he went to an old american favorite we all share the same home, the same heart, the same destiny, and the same Great American flag. Stephen really . Because down in charlottesville i saw your supporters carrying two other flags. laughter im pretty sure. I saw that. I saw that, didnt i . Jon yeah, i saw it stephen one of them had a spider on it or something. Im not sure. If but trump gave it up for the american way. In america, we know that faith and family, not government and bureaucracy, are the center of the american life. applause our motto is in god we trust. Stephen yes, thats the first half. The second half is oh, god, make this stop. And i pray i pray, lord. What did we do . Were sorry. And he touted his fossil fuel energy policy. We have ended the war on american energy, and we have ended the war on beautiful, clean coal. Stephen god, it is so beautiful. That coal has a high, tight, saa. I tell you, if i werent burning it, i might be dating it. But circ seriously, seriously, sir war on clean coal . You cant start or end a war on something that doesnt exist. Soon well end the wars on sasquatches, unicorns, and moderate republicans. cheers and applause anybody find one . Did you find one . No . Put down a little trap with, like, a muffin in it. The president then renewed thank you, jon renewed his attack on government workers. So tonight, i call on the congress to empower ever the authority to reward good workers and to remove federal employees who undermine the public trust or fail the american people. Stephen whoever they are, be they the director or the assistant director of the f. B. I, even a specialprosecutor out. Jon oh, wow, wow. Stephen you know im imitating him, right . laughter were all were all friends here. I think. For now. And he hit one of his favorite themes on healthcare. One of my greatest priorities is to reduce the price of prescription drugs. Stephen oh, good. Drugs would have really have helped me get through this speech. And he called as we knew he would, as we knew he would. Drugs we love drugs and he called for more jobs, jobs, jobs. We want every american to know the dignity of a hard days work. Stephen then they can tell me about it when i get home from golf. Eye hear great things about work. And he laid out he laid out he laid out what americans deserved. Americans love their country, and they deserve a government that shows them the same love and loyalty in return. Stephen and if their government isnt that loyal with their love, they get 130,000 to keep quiet about it. Im not sure, does the love allegedly, allegedly. And he looked back on his administrations work over the past year. For the last year, we have sought to restore the bonds of trust between our citizens and their government. Stephen well, better luck next year. laughter but, in that vein, trump did try to unify. So tonight, i am extending an open hand stephen god, women get out of there run for your lives open hand. cheers and applause and trump lauded his immigration policies as good for everyone. Struggling communities, especially immigrant communities, will also be helped by immigration policies that focus on the best interests of American Workers and american families. Stephen yes, trump understands the problem facing struggling immigrant communities too many immigrants . I dont. Lets move on. laughter and he outlined just who he doesnt want in america. Under the current broken system, a single immigrant can bring in virtually unlimited numbers of distant relatives. boos under our plan, we focus on the immediate family. Stephen yeah, boo. Families . Im not sure, but i think trumps immigration plan is hot singles only and he spoke jon oh, wow. Stephen he spoke some single people here tonight. Some hot singles in the house. cheers and applause waiting for your call. And he spoke of threats around the world. Around the world, we face rogue regimes, terrorist groups, and rivals like china and russia that challenge our interests, our economy, and our values. Stephen and we will stop them anyway we can, except implementing the russia sanctions you guys voted for. Hi, vlad. laughter i killed it. I killed the whole thing, 982, i cut it. But he spoke out strongly against terrorist actors. Terrorists who do things like place bombs in civilian hospitals are evil. Stephen where does he find the courage to call people who bomb hospitals evil . Truly, today, donald trump became president of the United States. applause and he got tough with the terrorists. When possible, we have no choice but to annihilate them. When necessary, we must be able to detain and question them. Stephen you know, after we annihilate them. laughter thats our motto annihilate first, realize we cant ask dead guys questions later. And he spoke to americas colonial past. It was that same yearning for freedom that nearly 250 years ago gave birth to a special place called america. It was a small cluster of colonies caughbetween a grea ocean and a vast wilderness stephen with no people in it. Just waiting for real estate developers. Okay. I dont know why the arapaho didnt put up condos. Beautiful land. Could have put up a casino then. Of course, trump did not mention the russia investigation. He hopes that goes away. But, i mean, even if the president and his Campaign Aides members of his family, were convicted of conspiracy with a hostile foreign power, where would we send them . In many cases, for them, it will now be guantanamo bay. Stephen oh, good. At least hes got a plan. We have a great show for you n the state of the union with the fellas from pod save america, and the 2 dope queens. Stick around, wont you . Live high ground high ground applause Stephen Jon Batiste and stay human, everybody, live thank you, maddie. Thats beautiful. Well, folks, welcome back to our live show. Welcome back to our live show. All these times are real. Later, im going to talk to the 2 dope queens, and well have a performance by grammy winner Chris Stapleton. cheers and applause but my first guests tonight host the most popular political podcast in the country. From pod save america, please welcome jon favreau, jon lovett, and tommy vietor cheers and applause stephen good to see you again. You, too. Stephen the last time i saw you was trump president the last time we saw you guys . Yeah. Yeah. Stephen he was. S contact depression. Now, you guys, jon jon, you were speechwriters, wrote for obama and hillary clinton. As a speechwriter, how challenge signature state of the union . Is this, like, your super bowl. It sucks. Stephen what sucks about it . Because its so long and you have to get everything in there. Like, i think a president should give, some day, a 20minute speech on one single issue, and just spare us all the words. Stephen but its the state of the union. Its supposed to be, like, an umbrella, cover everything. It covers everything, and becomes a lawnry list of every policy in the government. Yeah, its very boring. One of the feature s. Stephen and it was the third long nest history at 90 minutes. Bill clinton beat it twice. laughter so bill clinton has the one and the two spot, okay, and then yes . No, its amazing. It was the third longest, but it was almost half the length of bill clintons longest speeches. He made his delivery was slow. 55 hundred words. He made it last 90 minutes. Stephen he started to fade toward the end. It almost seemed somebody should pull the string in his back one more time. John kelly was trying. John kelly gave make pence john kelly did give mike pence the official cattle prod. Stephen to keep him going. People dont know this its one the one night of the year its not in his possession with trump. He couldnt get a moment. Stephen there was an emphasis on bipartisanship going in and a nod to it here or there within the speech, as democrats and democratics operativize dont know what that word means. It makes it sound like hit men. Did you feel reached out to in any way . I dont know how you attack a speech and divorce it from an entire year of actions. So they spent 15 minutes cheers and applause the big the big debate right now is about whether to prevent the deportation of 800,000 kids who are american. And he spent 15 minutes talking about immigrants in the context of gangs killing people. So i dont know that thats anything but divisive. applause stephen that did seem like an odd that seemed like an odd entree to the question of immigration is to focus just on on gangs. Yeah. Stephen well, lets talk about well, international affairs. Tommy, you worked as Obamas National Security spokesman. How do you think this speech will be perceived overseas . Because there are polls that say that the United States has taken a hit in terms of its stature, and certainly the United States presidency has taken a hit in terms of its stature around the world. Do you think this this will do anything to help with that . He talked about, in the context of arms control, this magic moment one day when countries might put down their nuclear weapons. Back in the day with Ronald Reagan it was called diploamas, and you negotiated and had arms control agreements. He also talked about north korea, but if you pick up the Washington Post tomorrow, his desig me, with was withdrawn because he opposed a strike on north korea because he feared it could start a nuclear war. I dont know if you will pick up the paper and feel great about that speech because of the context out there. Stephen i havent read this story. Youre saying the ambassador to south korea, proposed, has been pulled, his nomination has been removed by the white house because he thinks that attacking a Nuclear Power might start a nuclear war. Its this policy they call a punch in the nose strategy saying if we pop north korea in the nose, theyll chill out and not fight us. Sounds good, doesnt it. It sounds good on paper. Stephen thats a great way to calm down a crazy person bing were done. Were even. Were even. Is there anything is there anything about the speech that you agreed with . Is there anything that, to be fair, you say that is something to be supportable and nonpartisan for a moment, if you can, you pinkos. No, i mean, he talked about criminal Justice Reform, but hes not going to do anything about that because hes talked about it before and hes had a year and hasnt done anything about it. Stephen he might have a reason coming up to make prisons a lot nicer. laughter cheers and applause at least for his family. At least for his family. He talked about prescription drugs, but he talked about that last year and, you know, hes not going to do anything about that, either. Its hard to divorce the speech from, you know, what hes done for a year. Sa. State of the unions ony matter you couldnt tell us your favorite lines from obamas state of the union air, couple of jokes. We dont remember. But they matter because they sit between what came before and what came after. Donald trump said he wants to take on the ethiopia addiction but for the of last year, he tried to cut medicaid by 1 million. Jeff sessions is the reason we dont have criminal Justice Reform right now. Hes one of the key voices in the senate that prevented a vote on that before he became attorney general. He talks about unity, after he implied that kneeling during the anthem is unpatriotic, even though its a protest, people demonstrating their civil rights. And, by the way, he talks about reaching out to democrats. Hes never apologized for any of it. You dont get to stand up there and pretend that the last year didnt happen. You dont get to pretend its only people that dont cheers and applause the only people that in that room, the only people in that room that dont care whether or not donald trump apologizes are people like ted cruz, who just supplicated themselves for this guy who called his wife ugly and said his dad killed j. F. K. , and hes like, oh, this guy, hes the master. So give me a break. cheers and applause were still on the fence. Stephen still on the fence. Were still on the fence. Stephen well, ted cruz is our first inverterate senator. Thats diversity right there. There anything about his communication style, as professional communicators, anything about his communication style, okay, yeah, hes good at that . Not the way he spoke tonight. Tonight he did the im reading a hostage statement kind of delivery. Stephen he was blinking out. He wasnt allowed to use his twitter voice, you know. So he just looked like he was reading a speech for the first time. Trumps genius is he drives a news cycle for weeks at a time. But a very smart reporter wrote a piece today saying nothing in the speech will be rememberable because of a trump tweet. And very few references to his opponents menstrual cycle, which is a key part of his brand and identity. Stephen i understand, i understand. What about the democratic response . What about joe kennedy iii . Is it iii at this point . I didnt get a chance to watch his. I think he did really well. I think its such a tough job to have, the response, the state of the union. No one wan