His rallies, the songs stay the same and he alone controls the volume. Do you want to bust a move the expresident ial way . Then get down with deejayts maralago spotify playlist. Youll get songs like. Trump has no idea that the songs, when read in sequential order, provide a glimpse into his subconscious the deejayt spotify playlist. Shake your coup thang announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight. Court proceeding plus, stephen welcomes Steve Buscemi and Henry Louis Gates, jr. featuring louis cato and the late show band. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen hello hello [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] welcome. Welcome, everybody, to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. [cheering] well, forget the old saying april showers brings may flowers, cause from now on, its april trials bring me smiles. [cheering] because how many left . 88 charges left . Okay, despite, so far, despite 88 criminal charges, donald trump has faced zero consequences. Its been one delay after another. But [booing] exactly. But thats about to end. Because right here in new york, in the hush money case, the judge wont delay trumps criminal trial to wait for an immunity ruling. [cheering] lets go the best part is, its a criminal trial, so trump has to be there every day. Starting april 15th, we get to see donald trump having to see Stormy Daniels testify about having to see donald trump naked. Ugh. Ugh. Your honor, for reasons that will soon be all too apparent following her testimony, id like to submit into evidence this baby bella mushroom. [laughter] if you know what im talking about. I dont know if you noticed, but thanks to trump, our politics are getting a tad heated. In fact, a new pbs newshour npr marist starbucks eggbites poll found that 1 in 5 americans think violence may solve u. S. Divisions. When reached for comment, 1 in 5 americans said, you wanna go . You got a problem . cause we can settle this right outside with some muy thai [laughter] personally, i Stephen Colbert stand with the majority, the 4 out of 5 americans who choose nonviolence and i proudly say, [applause] i proudly say, sure. Im never going to stop you from applauding me. I say, 4 on 1 . We can take these guys. Go get daddys bat you wanna go, bruh . The stats down like this 28 of republicans believe violence could be the answer, compared to just 12 of democrats and 18 of independents. Really . Who are those 18 of independents . I dont really strongly feel committed to any particular ideology, but i am willing to kill for. Whatevs. [laughter] trump himself is taking every angle he can to try to weasel his way back into the white house. Hes even pressuring the state of nebraska to change how it awards electoral votes. Always a bad sign when your Campaign Strategy is to bully individual states. Hey, more like old hampshire, you dusty bitch. Now, gimme all your electoral votes, and go back to 69ing vermont. Oh i bet ben and jerry like to watch. Nebraskas electoral system matters. Many believe it could be decided by a single electoral vote from nebraskas second district. In other words, this is a complete and total hey, steve . Stephen oh, hi, brianne. Its my writer brian stack, brian, whats up . Well, i couldnt help but notice you were talking about nebraska. You know what they say about nebraska . Stephen whats that, brian . No. Im asking. Do you know what they say about nebraska . cause the writers and i are trying to cook up a real crackerjack joke. And if you know anything about nebraska, we could probably write the joke to play off of that. You know, for your monologue. Stephen brian, i am doing a monologue right now. Perfecto. Well put our noodles together, get ya something great. Big laughs, major joke. Writeup in huffpo for sure. Ill be back in one hour Stephen Brian stack, everybody. Thanks, brian. Very kind. He tries. Oldest man in world news, yesterday, the oldest man in the world died just weeks before 115th birthday. Awww. Stephen our condolences to the family of Juan Vincente perez mora of venezuela, seen here sitting. Mr. Mora credited his long life to working hard, loving god, resting on holidays, going to bed early, and drinking a glass of aguardiente every day. Aguardiente . Ive never heard of it, but i want it. Gimme the life juice right here cane neutral spirits. Okay. [cheering] ooh hoo i feel older already. Dont go far with that. Now that mr. Mora has passed, the organization that certifies global olditude, the Gerontology Research group, said they are currently working to find the worlds oldest living man. Currently the two top contenders whose birthdays are being verified are Gisaburo Sonobe of japan, born november 6, 1911, and brazils josias de oliveira, born october 21, 1911. And im being told we have aging news this morning, and this is true, while we were working on this script, the news broke that sadly, Gisaburo Sonobe passed away at 112. We mourn his passing and celebrate our new old champion, brazils josias de oliveira there he is mr. Oldest man now we do not yet know what he credits his long life to, so im gonna take a stab in the dark and say a delicious daily bottle of bud lite lime. Oh. Oh, yeah. Really washes away the aguardiente. Did you like that . Living at all, of course, requires a bit of luck. Just ask my colleagues in oregon at kgw8, eugenes news leader. Youve gotta see this. A eugene man is lucky to be alive after narrowly escaping an incident that couldve been out of a movie, really. A 4foot concrete saw came loose at a construction site and went flying toward a nearby Convenience Store just seconds after the man walks in. Stephen wow that is either a freak accident, or that guy is the target of a very inefficient assassin. Damn it. If the saw blade doesnt work, ill get him with a runaway houseboat. Now to get him near the canal. For more on this story, we turn to kezi9, eugenes news commander. Just for some height comparison here, im about 59. You can see right here where the top of the blade is would have been right here at the beginning of my torso. Stephen which means it could have been a real tragedy or the worlds fastest bris. [laughter] the man. The man. [cheers and applause] the man who survived the close call told reporters, i dont think i would have survived even being touched by that thing. I need a beer. Im still shaken. Its 9 00. Im not going to work today. Wise choice. [cheers and applause] beer . Wise choice, citizen. But i have to say, if youre getting a beer at 9 00 a. M. , you already werent going to work today. Oh, theres news from britain, a place i have no comment or feeling about, where a man has pled guilty to the theft of a solid gold toilet worth 6 million from blenheim palace. How do you sneak that out past the guards . Sir, im afraid ill have to check your bag. Did you bring this golden toilet from home . Yes . Very good, cheerio. This 18carat toilet was part of an art exhibition, and the toilet itself was titled america. Meant to comment on the economic disparities in the u. S. , or as the artist puts it, whatever you eat a 200 lunch or a 2 hot dog, the results are the same, toiletwise. To which everyone whos eaten a 2 hot dog said, no, my friend. No, they are not. Theyre very different. Back over in tech, we have an update about the Apple Vision Pro headset, the number one tool to deliver a purple nerple in the metaverse. Apple has introduced a way to hang out with friends or colleagues who are also wearing their vision pros, and its called spatial persona avatars. Unfortunately, they are creeping people out. Its an exciting Tech Innovation that will have workers saying fine. Ill go back to the office in person 5 days a week. Apple says that the goal of these avatars is to make collaborating and hanging out feel more natural in the vision pro. Yes, its clearly the most natural way to spend time with your colleagues. Right, louis . Louis thats right, steve. As natural as playing my guitar. Darn it Tim Cook Stephen we got a great show for you tonight my guests are Steve Buscemi and Henry Louis Gates jr. But when we come back, i take to the skies. Join us, wont you . [cheers and applause] announcer the late show with Stephen Colbert sponsored red lobster. Enjoy a new street corn shrimp, shrimp scampi, and more with shrimp your way. Corn shrimp. And our famous garlic shrimp scampi. Its time to grab some cheddar bays and get flavorfull. Hurry in to try shrimp your way, only at red lobster. screams bleeding gums are serious, jamie. Dr. Garcia . Woah. Theyre a sign of bacterial infection. Crest gum detoxifys antibacterial fluoride works below the gumline to help heal gums and stop bleeding. Crest saves the day. 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Some of the most common side effects include injectionsite reactions and headache. You must receive apretude as scheduled. Ask your doctor about longacting apretude. And prep without pills. Save at apretude. Com. [stomach growling] its nothing. Sounds like something. When you have nausea, heartburn, indigestion upset stomach, diarrhea pepto bismol coats and soothes for fast relief when you need it most. On your period, sudden gushes happen. Say goodbye gush fears thanks to always ultra thins. With rapiddry technology. That absorbs two times faster. Hellooo clean and comfortable. Always. Fear no gush. you made a cow actually its a piggy bank. My inspiration to start saving. How about a more solid way to save . Im listening. Well, bmo helps get your savings habit into shape with a cash reward, every month you save. Both cash reward . And theres a cash bonus when you open a new Checking Account to get you started. Wow. Anything you cant do . mugs. Bmo [cheers and applause] stephen welcome back, everybody. Give it up for louis cato and the late show band. Talking to you. Hey hello, my friends. There you go. Thanks, everybody. Please have a seat. Youre very kind. Coming up. F fabulous guests a fascinating man, a scholar, a writer. Henry louis gates will be out here just a few moments. But first, in just a few minutes, one of my favorite actors. And also a lovely person, Steve Buscemi will be out her. Who doesnt love some buscemi . People often say booshemi but its not, its booskemi. Dont say it. He will knife you. I have seen it happen. Airplanes. For decades, theyve been considered safe, but lately it doesnt feel that way. We all remember back in january, when a door plug flew off an Alaska Airlines flight after key bolts were found to be missing from the plane, then just a few weeks later a united flight was forced to land after a passenger noticed the wing was coming apart. I know, shocking. That it wasnt spirit airlines. And that wasnt all, because in just the last month, a tire fell off a united Airlines Flight after takeoff, damaging several cars. Another flight was forced to make an Emergency Landing due to problems with the hydraulic system. A plane experienced a fire in the left engine, and then just last week, a flight had to turn around because the contents of one of the planes toilets flowed into the main cabin. So if you think airplane quality has gone down the toilet, youre wrong its actually coming up the toilet. [laughter] but if youre nervous about flying right now, please dont worry. There are other air travel options. According to one expert, hot air balloons are the safest mode of aviation. Which is why im proud to bring you a message from the late shows newest sponsor. [cheers and applause] are you afraid to get on an airplane . Then why not travel by whitlocks hot air balloon steve hi, im steve whitlock. Stephen and im stephen whitlock. Were brothers steve but the fraternal kind. You may recognize our balloon from jigsaw puzzles. Stephen or motivational posters steve or just from looking up stephen air plane quality is declining, but anyone who says our balloons are unsafe is full of hot air. Steve good one, Stephen Stephen thank you, steve steve the most dangerous thing that happens on hot air balloons is the occasional seagull. Seagull [cawing] stephen balloon travel is also fair. Theres no first class or economy. Just one class basket. Steve also one bathroom basket. Seagull no need to worry about loose bolts. Our hot air balloon relies on the timetested security of wicker. Stephen yep, nothing breaks this put it up here. Steve hot air balloons can take you any place you need to go as long as that any place is downwind. Stephen due west. Could be bali or albany. Only time will tell steve want Inflight Entertainment . Stephen here remembers most of the movie ford vs. Ferrari. Stephen matt damon is working on a car. Its either a ford or a ferrari, i forget. And then the batman drives another car. And one of them wins something. Steve hey no spoilers. Tell them how to book a flight, stephen. Stephen will do, steve. Just draw a big x on the ground. Maybe out of rocks or something . And well try to land there. Be patient, though. Hot air travel takes time. Steve we were born up here stephen our parents left us in this basket with nothing but a set of adultsized clothes and a thirst for the sky steve seagull [cawing] so book a flight with whitlocks hot air balloon today stephen we accept all major credit cards. Steve or just conversation both were so lonely whitlocks hot air balloon come get high with us stephen oh, we forgot to mention you can smoke weed up here steve there are no laws stephen well be right back with Steve Buscemi seagull [cheers and applause] class clowns. Old truck. More memories. Less sugar. Fewer net carbs. Fewer calories. The best things in life start with just the right ingredients. 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[car traversing over rocky ground] vo we got a Subaru Forester wilderness to discover all of the places that make us feel something more. [minimalist piano plays throughout. ] [heavy sound of water coming from waterfall. ] vo subaru is the National Park foundations largest corporate donor, helping expand access for all. Get 2. 9 apr financing for 72 months on a new 2024 forester, going on now. Ugh. Cabin crew cross check. That yellows not gonna fly. Buckle up whoa reality checkup theres toothpaste white, and theres crest 3dwhitestrips white. Whitens like a 400 professional treatment. [pilot] prepare for nonstop smiles. Crest. [cheers and applause] stephen i guessed right. Welcome back, everybody. Ladies and gentlemen, my first guest this evening is an actor you know from some of your favorite movies, including reservoir dogs, the big lebowski, and the death of stalin. He has just directed a new film called the listener. Please welcome back to the late show, Steve Buscemi. [cheers and applause] hi, steve. Steve hi, steve. Stephen thanks for coming back. Always lovely to talk to you. Steve always great to be here. Stephen we had your friend Tim Blake Nelson was on the other night. What comes to mind when you think about him . Steve i first worked with him over 20 years ago. Hes a Brilliant Writer and director, he did a movie called the gray zone about the holocaust and auschwitz. We were filming in bulgaria. Have you ever been there . Stephen ive never been to bulgaria. Lovely . Steve it is. We were in sofia most about the countryside is beautiful. The crews were great, and the people were great. Sometimes when i go to a place like that, i wonder if im going to be recognized or not. How big am i in bulgaria . Pretty much, i pretty much wasnt. One day im Walking Around and this group of teenagers, teenagers were following me and i thought oh oh. These young kids are hip. They know me. One of them stopped me and they said, are you marc anthony . Stephen the latin heartthrob singer marc anthony . J. Los exhusband marc anthony. Steve yeah. Stephen do you get that a lot. Steve first time. Ive gotten willem dafoe, john waters, that i understand. I didnt get it. I had to break it to them that i wasnt. They walked away disappointed. When i got back to new york i went to my local coffee place in brookly